Review: WWF Survivor Series 1990, from Hartford, CT, 11/22/1990.
My brother didn't come home, but fuck it, I'm watching this anyway.
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The intro to the show is great, as were most of the intros that Vince did the voiceovers on. His announcments of each participant and the team name are great.
Gorilla Monsoon and Roddy Piper are on commentary, and Piper goes into a rant about how the Iraqis are going to pay. Remember, at the end, there's a match of Ultimate Survival. Of course, it involves all the Survivors.
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The first match on this show is The Warriors (WWF Champ, the Ultimate Warrior, Intercontinental Champ Kerry Von Erich, and the Legion of Doom, Animal, and Hawk) vs. The Perfect Team (Mr. Perfect, Demolition Ax, Demolition Smash, and Demolition Crush), who are accompanied by Bobby Heenan and Mr. Fuji. Warrior's wearing a white title belt, which matches his attire later. He didn't wear different color belts because the WWF was afraid "he'd lose them." He wore them to match his attire. The babyfaces cut a promo before the match, and what is it with Warrior and sacrifices? You'd think the guy was a cannibal or something. His expressions during the promo are awful. Awfully funny, harharhar. The first man listed in each runthrough of the participants on each team is the "team captain."
Blow-by-blow: The heels all enter to Mr. Perfect's music, while the faces enter to their own individual music. Where's the equality? Animal and Smash starts, and Animal rams Smash into Hawk. All the faces take their turn beating up Smash, and Smash takes control somehow. Smash prevents a backdrop by Animal, and suplexes him. Perfect comes in and chops Animal, then Smash comes in and gets powerslammed by Animal. Perfect gets beaten up by everyone now, and Tornado and Ax come in. Tornado applies THE CLAW, but Smash breaks the hold up. Warrior tags in and shoulderblocks Ax, then flying shoulderblocks Ax and big splashes him for the pin at 3:22.
The Warrior dumps everyone out of the ring as the heels go on the attack, but Crush comes back in quickly with a clothesline. Smash is in with a backbreaker, and then he tags Crush in, who gives Warrior a flying kneedrop off the top rope. It only gets a 2 count, and Crush misses a charge into the corner. Hawk comes in along with Perfect, and Perfect gets choked. Hawk whips Perfect into the corner but Perfect trips over his own feet and blows the spot, so they repeat on the other side, which leads to Hawk missing a charge and ramming his shoulder into the ringpost. Crush comes in and works Hawk over, with the notable part of his offense being a backbreaker. See, Crush always sucked. Hawk comes back with a shoulderblock and flying clothesline from the top rope, but Smash breaks up the cover. Now LOD and Demolition brawl, and both teams are disqualified at 7:36.
Tornado and Warrior are left against Perfect, and Perfect begs for Warrior to tag out. Warrior does, and Perfect gets discus punched by Tornado. Supposedly he has a powerful right hand, at least that's what I heard. I don't know why Vince gave this guy a chance, he's not special in the ring, he can't talk, and he's a walking pharmacy. But he looks good. Well, I just answered my own question, didn't I? Warrior rams the heads of Heenan and Perfect together outside the ring, then tosses Heenan into the crowd. No wonder Heenan doesn't like him. On the inside, Perfect gives Tornado a kneelift. Perfect thumbs Kerry in the eye, and rams him into the exposed turnbuckle, which leads to a Perfectplex that eliminates Tornado at 11:00.
Perfect then gives one to Warrior, but Warrior kicks out of it. A Perfect dropkick gets a 2 count, and a clothesline does the same. Piper's not very good on commentary, he mostly rambles, but he says that there's a "lot of heat" here. He tries to cover it up a few seconds later by saying that the temperature in the building has risen, but we all know now that he screwed up. He screws up and says things he shouldn't a LOT throughout the show. Warrior starts his comeback, we all know the drill. Clothesline, clothesline, clothesline with Perfect's 360 sell, a flying shouldertackle and a big splash that gets the pinfall at 14:20.
Survivor: The Ultimate Warrior.
Match Analysis: It goes without saying that these matches are quickly paced. They have to be, cause there's no excuse for restholds in an 8 man elimination tag. Still wasn't very good, though. *3/4.
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The next match is the Million Dollar Team (Ted DiBiase, Greg Valentine, Honky Tonk Man and a Mystery Partner) accompanied by Jimmy Hart and Virgil vs. The Dream Team (Dusty Rhodes, Koko B. Ware, and the Tag Team champs, Bret Hart, and Jim Neidhart). Ted DiBiase introduces the mystery partner and it's.....THE UNDERTAKER. His music had no gong to open it up. Brother Love is his manager, and I don't really care for that. He should have went solo. He doesn't walk slow enough to the ring yet, either. Bret lost this brother Dean before this event, so Piper says that Bret wanted to dedicate the match to him. Heel promo is first, and then...
Blow-by-blow: Taker starts things off with Bret (heh), and Taker gives him a quick chokeslam as Bret is running. I don't think anyone really knew how to take that move yet. The Anvil comes in, but his shoulderblock doesn't do a thing to Taker. Taker slams him, and Koko comes in. Almost immediately, Koko gets TOMBSTONED at 1:43. Taker disposes of him like a child's diaper, meaning that he tosses him out of the ring.
Bret comes in along with DiBiase and after a DiBiase chop, Neidhart and Valentine tag in. Valentine gives the Anvil a high knee, then tags in Honky. Honky does nothing at all, and gets powerslammed by Neidhart for the pinfall at 4:22.
DiBiase comes in and is clotheslined by Neidhart, and finally, Dusty tags in. Elbows for DiBiase, and a dropkick(?). It didn't look too bad, surprisingly. He tags Neidhart in, and they both elbow DiBiase for a 2 count. A Neidhart suplex gets two, and then, Virgil trips him and Neidhart gets clotheslined by DiBiase at 5:55 for the pinfall.
Bret enters the ring with a few right hands, then Dusty comes in. Dusty does that 'juke and jive' punch thing, then Taker comes back in after a DiBiase clothesline. Taker gives Dusty a flying kick, and tags in Valentine. Bret tags in too, and as Taker's still in the ring after the tag, he chokes Bret. DiBiase comes in after a few Valentine kicks and is given an inverted atomic drop by Bret. DiBiase gives Bret a few elbows, and tags in Taker. Taker goes up to the top rope and gives Dusty a BIG double axehandle, leading to Dusty's elimination after the pin at 8:31.
It's 3 on 1 now, with Bret facing DiBiase, Valentine and Taker, as Brother Love's stomping A MUDHOLE, BAH GAWD in Dusty, on the outside. Dusty was dispatched in the same fashion as Koko, and I forgot to mention something. Dusty wasn't wearing polkadots, and he didn't look too pleased to even be involved with the event. Suck it up, bitch. Anyway, Dusty recovers from the beating and begins to put a whoop on Brother Love's ass, so Taker leaves the ring and brawls with Dusty to the back, being eliminated by countout, at 9:24. By brawl, I mean, he basically beat Dusty up.
Back inside, Valentine goes for the figure-four, but he gets rolled up and eliminated by Bret Hart at 10:00. That was quick.
The crowd's going batshit for Bret. Bret atomic drops DiBiase out of the ring, and planchas onto him. He punches DiBiase on the outside, and rams him into the ringpost. Back in the ring, he gives Ted some stiff European uppercuts. DiBiase rams Bret into the turnbuckle at about 100 mph, but it only gets 2. A Bret backslide gets 2, and on a whip, Bret trips over DiBiase. Bret plays possum, which makes me wrong about the WM 8 match being the first time.
I WAS WRONG.
There. I can admit it. He rolls DiBiase up for 2, and the entire crowd thought the match was over. They were into this sequence. Ted gets kneed on accident by Virgil, and Bret rolls him up again, but only gets 2. The fans bought it, again. Bret with a backbreaker and elbow from the 2nd rope for 2, but unfortunately, DiBiase reverses a crossbody for the 3 count at 13:59.
Survivor: The Million Dollar Man, Ted DiBiase.
Match Analysis: IMO, this probably was when the WWF realized they had something in Bret as a potential singles wrestler. Well, not when they realized, but when they saw that the fans were behind such an idea as well. Match is **1/4, but the Bret/DiBiase portion was awesome, as was the debut of Taker.
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There's a promo for "The Main Event," which took place on the night after Survivor Series, although it was taped about a month before. The hyped match was the Ultimate Warrior vs. Ted DiBiase.
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The third match on this Thanksgiving Night was The Vipers (Jake "the Snake" Roberts, Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka, Shawn Michaels and Marty Jannetty) vs. The Visionaries (Rick "the Model" Martel, The Warlord, Hercules, and Paul Roma), who were accompanied by Arrogance and Slick. Jake's got the "I'm blind in one eye" thing goin', and the Rockers just kick ass. Snuka's on more juice than anyone else on this show, or so it would seem. The guy is huge. The babyfaces cut a promo in the shower area, cause remember, that's Jake's thing, to keep the snake cool. When Power and Glory walk to the ring, presumably because of the strange nature of the entranceway, they look like badasses. Watch it, and you'll see. I thought they were cool when I rented tapes as a kid. I'm ashamed of that one.
Blow-by-blow: Piper calls Warlord a "walrus." Guess he doesn't like him. Warlord and Marty start, and Marty uses his speed to outsmart the Warlord. Marty tries three dropkicks, but they don't do anything to the big man. Marty sunset flips Warlord but can't bring him over, so Shawn runs in and dropkicks Warlord, but unfortunately, the move only gets a two count. Shawn tags in and gets a hiptoss after a cool looking reversal, and he follows with a dropkick and monkey flip. Martel tags in, and so does Jake, but Martel bails out in a HURRY. Roma comes in, and Jake grabs onto an armbar. Snuka tags in, and Roma punches him. But islanders have hard heads, so it doesn't affect the SUPERFLY. As deteriorated as he was here, I love him. Hercules comes in and shoulderblocks Snuka, but Snuka comes back with that chop that his opponent runs into, and the crowd loves it. Warlord tags in and slams Snuka, but Snuka comes back with a dropkick. Marty comes in, and gets bearhugged. You guys have no idea how hard it is to keep track of who's who in these matches, considering that guys have so many matching initials. Fact is, if I focused on typing, and typing alone while I was doing this, it'd only take me about 2 hours. Instead, it takes much longer. Like tonight, I was watching the Kings and Lakers game while typing this. Anyway, Marty mongolian chops the Warlord, but goes up for a crossbody and gets powerslammed by the Warlord for the 3 count at 5:18.
Shawn gives Warlord a frankensteiner (I feel like calling it that for now), and Jake tags in. A Jake clothesline does nothing, and a high knee does nothing. A second clothesline puts the Warlord down, and Shawn tags in and covers him for a 2 count. Warlord gets a huge backdrop on Shawn, and he tags in Hercules. Shawn does a 360 sell off a Herc clothesline, and Martel tags in. Martel gets a kneedrop and backbreaker which each get a two count, and Roma comes in. Roma whips Shawn into the buckle and Shawn goes upside down, and after that, Roma misses a charge into the corner. Snuka comes back in, and gets a flying forearm for a 2 count. Too bad for him though, he tries a crossbody and it gets reversed at 9:43 by Martel, as Martel was holding Snuka's tights. Sneaky little fellow.
Jake comes in and Martel runs away again, so Hercules comes in. Jake gets a kneelift, but he can't get the DDT. I don't know what it is, but Jake is off tonight. Well, I do know what it is, and so does everyone else. He was on a lot of shit. The Visionaries huddle up, and Martel clotheslines Jake from the ring apron, while Jake was unawares. Piper calls Martel a "cheap ass," and then immediately apologizes. Piper on live TV. Gotta love it. Roma slams Jake, but misses a fistdrop from the top rope. Shawn comes in with a back elbow and suplex, and an elbowdrop from the 2nd rope gets 2. It's decidedly uglier than the one he used later in his career. Shawn then gets an atomic drop and dropkick, until Hercules attacks him. Herc gets a press slam, and it's POWERPLEX TIME. Power and Glory hit that, and Shawn's gone at 15:18. In case you don't know, it's a Hercules superplex, and a Roma big splash. FWIW.
It's 4 on 1 now with Jake being the only good guy left, and he fights with Warlord. Well, Warlord gets a bearhug and after a while, Jake gets a DDT OUT OF NOWHERE on Warlord. The referee wasn't paying attention, so no count. Martel tries to spray Roberts with Arrogance, but he misses and Jake grabs Damien, his snake. He chases Martel to the back at 18:05, and Jake is counted out. HOWEVER, Rick Martel isn't counted out, because he wasn't the legal man. Therefore...
Survivors: Rick Martel, The Warlord, Hercules, and Paul Roma. That's the first time an entire team has survived, kids.
Match Analysis: Ran too long. Shawn can do no wrong though, he was excellent. The Warlord was in this match for WAY too long. *1/2.
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A promo for Royal Rumble 1991 pops onto the screen, as we lead into...The Natural Disasters (Earthquake, Haku, Barbarian and Dino Bravo) accompanied by Jimmy Hart and Bobby Heenan vs. The Hulkamaniacs (Hulk Hogan, Big Bossman, Jim Duggan, and Tugboat). Tugboat's music is terrible. The babyfaces cut a promo first, and Tugboat's been spending too much time around Hulk. Mainly because he says "brother" after every sentence.
Blow-by-blow: It looks like Hogan got a haircut the day of the match...anyhow, a Hogan chant picks up almost immediately. Duggan and Haku start, and after Haku misses a springboard crossbody, Duggan clotheslines him a whole bunch and yells, HOOOOOOOOOOO. Duggan gets an UGLY backelbow and clothesline, and Bravo tags in. Bravo gets an inverted atomic drop, and Haku and Bossman enter. Bossman quickly gets the Bossman Slam, and that eliminates Haku at 3:15.
Heenan gets rammed into the turnbuckle by Bossman, but Barbarian regains control. He gets a suplex and slam, but he misses an elbowdrop from the 2nd rope. Duggan comes in and gets a backdrop, then Earthquake comes in. Earthquake rams Duggan into the buckle, and Duggan can't slam him. Duggan does 2 shoulderblocks, but on the third attempt, Jimmy Hart pulls down the top rope so Duggan flies out of the ring. Duggan chases Hart with the 2x4, and hits Earthquake with it at 6:04, so he's disqualified. Duggan is poof, gone.
Hogan's in and body slams for all, the 10 punch in the corner starts, but Earthquake powerslams him out. Bravo tags in and gets an elbow drop, but surprisingly, he gets rolled up in a small package at 7:59. He's gone.
I just noticed that the "mystery egg" hasn't been discussed at all. Thankfully. Piper says that "Hogan should get the hell out of the ring." Bossman attempts a crossbody, but doesn't bring Earthquake to the canvas. Hogan pushes Bossman on top of Quake, but the cover only gets 2. Earthquake gets 2 elbowdrops on Bossman, and that's enough to get the pinfall at 9:08.
Hogan gives Quake a big boot, and I've noticed that Tugboat hasn't even been in the ring. Hogan can't slam Quake, and Quake falls on him for a 2 count. Ok, by this point, it's safe to say that they need to take the match home. Quake misses a big splash and finally, Tugboat comes in. Tugboat and Earthquake take their brawl to the outside, and they both get counted out at 11:32.
Hogan and Barbarian are left, and Barbarian lands the ugliest piledriver ever. Gorilla and Piper both acknowledge that Hogan's head was never close to the canvas and landed on Barbarian's legs instead. Hogan should never have sold that. Barbarian gets a big boot, and a top rope clothesline for 2. NOW COMES THE HULK-UP. Three punches, big boot, DROP THE FUCKING LEG, and that's the end of the match at 14:49. Hogan grabs a fan's banner to celebrate, and he wipes his sweat on it before giving it back. What a guy. He poses for 3 minutes, and this part ends, and part two now begins.
Survivor: Hulk Hogan
Match Analysis: Junk. Shit. Crap. 1/2*. This match was everything I hate about wrestling.
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The MACHO KING RANDY SAVAGE has an interview with Gene Okerlund in which he basically foreshadows his retirement. He says if he wins the title, he'll retire. Forever. He calls the Ultimate Warrior the Ultimate Chicken/turkey/loser. Savage is dressed like the guy from Mary Poppins, so it's hard to take him seriously.
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The next match is The Alliance (Nikolai Volkoff, Tito Santana, Butch, and Luke) vs. The Mercenaries (Sgt. Slaughter, Boris Zhukov, Sato, and Tanaka), accompanied by Mr. Fuji and General Adnan. Slaughter cuts a promo before the match, says Okerlund needs to stand at attention, and wonders what American soldiers had in their K-Ration on Thanksgiving. Piper gets all worked up about it, and I laughed. All the Mercenaries are wearing camo face paint.
Blow-by-blow: Zhukov and Butch start, the Bushwhackers give Zhukov a double clothesline, and Tito tags in and gives Zhukov the flying forearm, and gets the pinfall at 0:48. Lol.
Tito kicks Sato, and Butch tags in. The Bushwhackers almost immediately give Sato the battering ram, eliminating Sato at 1:47.
Tanaka misses a big splash, and gets eliminated by the flying forearm of Santana at 2:10.
Volkoff comes in and gets elbowdropped by Slaughter four times, cause remember, Slaughter's the only Mercenary left. He rams Volkoff into the turnbuckle while Adnan screams at him in whatever language he uses, and Slaughter gets a dropkick. Oddly enough, while 3 elbowdrops can't finish Volkoff, only one does a bit later, and Volkoff's gone at 5:24.
Butch comes in and both the Bushwhackers slam Slaughter, after Luke tags in. A double clothesline gets two, and then Luke goes up, but eats knees on a splash attempt. Slaughter gives Luke a chestbreaker, and Luke's gone at 6:30.
Butch comes in and gets clotheslined by Slaughter at 6:54. Quick eliminations here...
Tito and Slaughter are left, and Tito gives Slaughter a dropkick. He can't monkey flip Slaughter though, so Slaughter gets a neckbreaker for 2. A Slaughter backbreaker gets 2, and Sarge follows it up with a suplex. Slaughter rams Tito into the ref, and Adnan comes in with the Iraqi flag. He rams it into the stomach of Santana after Tito's flying forearm on Slaughter, and then, Slaughter applies the camel clutch. The referee wakes up, though, and disqualifies Slaughter at 10:47 for use of the flag. The referee was down, but he was watching the action, see.
Survivor: Tito Santana
Match Analysis: 1/4*. At least it ended quickly.
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Sean Mooney is with the Visionaries and Ted DiBiase for their promo before the Ultimate Survival match, but first, we have to reveal what's inside the mystery egg. For some reason, DiBiase had blood in his mouth.
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Anyway, yeah, inside the mystery egg, it's the Gobbledygooker. The Gooker's one of the dumbest things ever to happen in wrestling, and the only thing that is definitely worse, IMO, was the WCW "shoot" angles in 2000. I wonder, though, was Gooker supposed to work matches? That would have been ridiculous. Whoever thought of this should have been shot. Or fired. The crowd shit all over it, though.
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The last match tonight, is the match OF ULTIMATE SURVIVAL. On one team, it's Tito Santana, the Ultimate Warrior, and Hulk Hogan. On the other team, it's Ted DiBiase, Rick Martel, the Warlord, Hercules, and Paul Roma w/Virgil and Slick. Warrior changed his attire and facepaint, and there aren't any team captains in this match. Hogan entered before the other two babyfaces. I don't think he was too happy about it, or so it looked. Warrior got NO pop.
Blow-by-blow: Almost immediately, a Santana flying forearm pins the Warlord. 0:28 was the time.
DiBiase comes in and gets a suplex. Tito gets a clothesline and backdrop but misses the flying forearm, and DiBiase hotshots him along the top rope for the pinfall at 1:51.
DiBiase gets a big boot on Hogan, then tags in Hercules. Herc rams Hogan's head into the buckle, and DiBiase comes back in with a few fistdrops. Tag Hercules, and Power and Glory go for the POWERPLEX, but it only gets a 2 count. Hogan gives Roma a lariat, and he's gone at 5:37. Seriously, that was a stiff clothesline. He treated Roma like a jobber...oh wait. He is one. LAWL.
Warrior finally tags in, and kicks Martel. Warrior with a backdrop and he goes to punch both heels that were standing in the corner. The ADRENALINE'S MOVIN' NOW, and Warrior slams Martel twice. He rams Martel's face into the mat, and tags in Hogan. Hogan clotheslines Martel over the top and out, but Martel's leaving. NOW THEY'LL HAVE TO IMPROVISE A NEW FINISH. Sorry, since I mentioned WCW 2000, I couldn't help it. Time of Martel being counted out was 7:17, btw.
DiBiase and Hercules are the only ones left of the heels, and Hogan slams DiBiase into the mat. Big boot, DROP THE FUCKING LEG, pin at 8:37.
Hercules is the only one left, Warrior clotheslines him, clothesline, clothesline, flying shouldertackle, big splash and the pinfall at 9:07. Warrior and Hogan toss Slick out of the ring, and that's it.
The Ultimate Survivors: The Ultimate Warrior and Hulk Hogan.
A promo for the Royal Rumble wraps things up. All done.
Match Analysis: DUD. I'm glad they didn't do the Ultimate Survival thing again. The crowd couldn't have cared less.
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Rating: Poor. Good for nostalgia, but in reality, it wasn't any good. I hate how the WWF didn't even use the early versions of this show to further angles. Outside of the one exception, the double turn with Demolition and the Powers of Pain. There have been much better shows. If not for the nostalgia, it would have been awful.
Best Match: The Million Dollar Team vs. The Dream Team. That's not saying a whole lot.
Worst Match: The match of ULTIMATE SURVIVAL.
Loudest Sound: Bret Hart during his comeback, and Demolition. Ax's last appearance in the WWF was a quick one.
No sound: Everyone in the Alliance vs. Mercenaries match (except for Slaughter), and Warrior later in the show.
I must say, I love the finishes at the Survivor Series. Guys getting pinned by elbowdrops? I know it's tough to book these matches, but they could do something better, couldn't they?
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I don't know what I'm reviewing next, but it'll be up on Monday. Probably Prime Time Wrestling, cause I don't want it to disappear before I can write about it.
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