8 p.m.

• So I finally got around to watching Apocalypto. Spoilerz

1) The chick in the hole squirts out a kid while the pit is being flooded?

2) Hooray for whitey.

3) So there's a solar eclipse right when Mr. Jaguar is about to get sliced AND the Europeans touch ground right when he runs out on the beach. Boy, magic really does happen in Hollywood.

8 p.m.

• So I was debating on whether to go into work today. I’m still not at the busy time of the month, but this is the busy time of year for me (well, this and March) and there’s a shitload of work I still need to do. Something was telling me last night that if I didn’t take advantage of this free day then it’ll come back to haunt me. I was right. When I checked my e-mail this morning, I got a note from the idiot boss saying he wants a Tuesday meeting to discuss a whole bunch of shit I don’t have the time to do. I swear to Christ when bosses see that you are completing your work on time or (gasp!) early, that doesn’t mean you are doing a good job. That just means you don’t have enough work to do. Oh well, just means more time I get to take off during the workweek. Woo-hoo.

• But is she hot?

A teacher accused of running away with a 13-year-old student planned a romantic life with him in his native Mexico, but she was near broke when they were captured there, authorities said Saturday.

Looks like she could get jail time with that mug. Here’s my favorite part.

Their border crossing during a week on the lam may mean the teen, an illegal immigrant, will not be able to come back to the rural Nebraska town where he was an eighth-grader.

“MAY mean”? The fuck. How about “does mean.” Whatever, it’s not like it’s all that hard to sneak back in anyway. Hold on a second.

The Associated Press generally does not identify people who may be victims of sex crimes, but the boy's name had been widely publicized as police searched for him.

Why were the police searching for him now -- how about searching for illegals once they sneak over the border?

7:45 p.m.

• I just got done entering in this week’s first wave of kkk Bowl V picks, so now I’m inspired after looking at everyone’s selections to get mine going.

Arizona @ Tampa Bay (3.5)

Oh hell I don’t know. Is Warner playing? Uh, I’ll go with Tampa. No, Arizona. No, Tampa. Yes, Tampa.

Carolina @ Tennessee (4.5)

Titans didn’t win big last week. I’ll take the spread. Time for Carolina to under-achieve.

(1.5) Cincinnati @ Buffalo

Lemme see, go with the scrappy Bills of the underachieving Bengals? I’ll go with the Bills because they play tougher and they’re at home. Of course, by “tougher” I mean “with less talent.” Then again, I have no idea who’s on each team, so I’ll just stop now.

Denver @ Detroit (3.5)

Yeah the Broncos lost last week, but this is the Lions. The Lions.

Green Bay @ Kansas City (2.5)

Oh hell no. The Chiefs are favored? I’m taking this in a heartbeat. This of course means the Chiefs quarterback (whoever he is) will throw for 400 yards.

Jacksonville @ New Orleans (3.5)

I heard the Jags quarterback is still out, so I’ll hope the Saints will eventually break down the Jacksonville defense.

(7.5) San Diego @ Minnesota

LT v. AP – then again, both play offense so unless there’s some special teams quirk they won’t face each other.

San Francisco @ Atlanta (3.5)

Is Alex Smith playing? Dunno. Shit, I don’t want Atlanta.

(3.5) Washington @ N.Y. Jets

Here’s hoping the Redskins do better against another AFC East team. Something tells me they will.

Seattle @ Cleveland (1.5)

I know they’re 4-3, but there’s something holding me back from taking the Browns seriously.

Houston @ Oakland (3.5)

Something tells me there are some injuries on the Texans roster for the Raiders to be favored. Oh well. Go subs.

(5.5) New England @ Indianapolis

Something tells me this game is going to bite me in the ass, but I’m getting a USC/Texas vibe. Besides, if Indy wins I’ll look like a genius.

(3.5) Dallas @ Philadelphia

WTF is up with Andy Reid’s kids? Buncha screw ups.

Baltimore @ Pittsburgh (9.5)

Wow, that’s a big spread. I’m still having flashbacks to last season when the Ravens made the Steelers their bitch. Twice. I don’t think they’ll win, but wow, that’s a big spread. Steelers will score 27.

7:15 p.m.

• Notre Dame. LOL.