6 a.m.

• Pickkks. Go.

Arizona @ Cincinnati (3.5)

I don’t know. I saw Kurt Warner on Jim Rome’s ESPN show this week. Does he have “Jungle Karma” for his TV show?

Carolina @ Green Bay (9.5)

No clue as to who is injured on the Panthers. They’ve screwed me over during the last few years so fuck them.

(3.5) Cleveland @ Baltimore

The Browns are playing MUCH better, but I’m praying the Ravens can eek out a win or close loss at home in a divisional contest. Then again, that didn’t bode well for me last time they played.

Kansas City @ Indianapolis (14.5)

Indy’s lost two in a row. Dwight Freeney is out. I heard that KC is first in the NFC West. Here’s hoping this is a “bounce back” game.

Miami @ Philadelphia (10.5)

The Dolphins HAVE to win sometime – or at least not lose in double digits. Don’t they?

(16.5) New England @ Buffalo

OK, Buffalo, prove me right in picking you to lose to the Patriots by less than two touchdowns.

New Orleans @ Houston (0.5)

Here’s hoping the Saints bounce back from that loss last week to the formerly winless Rams. I’m sure somebody’s hurt on the Texans.

Oakland @ Minnesota (5.5)

Adrian Peterson is out. Come on, Raiders. You can do this.

(10.5) Pittsburgh @ N.Y. Jets

I heard the Jets running defense was last in the NFL. Look how good that was for me when the Steelers played Denver. Still think they’ll win. And score 27 points.

San Diego @ Jacksonville (2.5)

Isn’t someone from the Jags out due to roids?

(3.5) Tampa Bay @ Atlanta

I can’t remember much about the Buccaneers. Are they supposed to contend for their divison?

Washington @ Dallas (10.5)

The Cowboys have been mostly reliable for me this year.

(2.5) N.Y. Giants @ Detroit

I still can’t take Detroit seriously. Not like I do for the Giants, either.

(3.5) St. Louis @ San Francisco

A one-win team favored. On the road? And I’m taking it?

Chicago @ Seattle (5.5)

Something is telling me to go with the Bears here. Don’t know why.

Tennessee @ Denver (2.5)

Eh, I’ll still go with the Titans. I like Vince Young if only for his public statements and the fact he beat a bunch of USC queers a few years back. I still find it funny that one of them is now his running back and the former offensive coordinator of that university is one of his coaches. He still is, right?