Review: WWE Armageddon 2003 (RAW), from Orlando, Florida, 12/14/2003.
Since my soccer team, Liverpool FC won yesterday, I was in a good mood. Had they not won, this review wouldn't be up. This is a RAW only show.
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National anthem begins the show, as this event occured on the day that Saddam Hussein was captured...and then, a video package. No surprise, Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler are on commentary.
The first match of the night is Mark Henry w/THEODORE Long vs. Booker T. I guess it's hatin' if you call Long, Teddy. I said I quit watching late in 2003, but I remember a few things. Not like when I'll review Unforgiven 2007, and know nothing. Anyway, Henry beat Booker up for a few weeks prior to the show.
Blow-by-blow: Booker starts the match by clobbering Henry in the corner, but Henry comes back with a clothesline to end that. Henry chokes Booker, then clotheslines him over the top rope. Henry throws Booker into the steel steps, and they get back in the ring. Booker makes sure Henry doesn't stay back in, though, and dives onto him with a plancha. Yo. Booker rams Henry into the barrier and then throws him into the ring, where Booker comes off the top rope with a missile dropkick, which gets a 2 count. Long distracts Booker, and Henry runs into the poor guy, then gives him a backbreaker afterward for a 2 count. Henry applies a bow and arrow lock, before Booker breaks the hold. Henry places Booker's neck on the 2nd rope, and then runs and jumps on it. Goodness, it looked like he could have broken Booker's fuckin' neck. Henry flew through the ropes, landing on his feet. Henry gets a 2 count on the cover, and goes to the chinlock. Booker powers out of that, but gets bearhugged soon after. IMO, this match was going well until the chinlock. I was liking it, anyway. Henry clotheslines Booker, and Booker does a 360 sell. He's doing everything to make this match good, and I applaud him for it. Booker, that is. I haven't seen him do some of this stuff in a long time. Henry misses a legdrop and charge toward Booker, so Booker gives him an axe kick, Ahmed Johnson style. He gives Henry a savate kick, and a flying forearm. The scissor kick gets 2, but Henry stops Booker's rally with a spinebuster for 2. Henry gives Booker an avalanche in the corner, then a clothesline and legdrop for a 2 count. Henry gives Booker an UGLY looking powerbomb for 2, and misses a charge to the corner, where Booker gives him a scissor kick for 3 at 9:19.
Match Analysis: See, I was liking it, until the middle. Not only that, but the finish kinda came a little too fast, and wasn't built to at all. Kinda jumbled, and one of the things that bothers me about current wrestling. You can't rush into a finish, you have to build to it. If all that stuff Henry did after the first scissor kick had been done BEFORE the first scissor kick, and Booker had came back with his typical spots, like the forearm and savate kick, then finished with the scissor kick, the match would have been better. As it was, it felt like it was lacking something, namely an ending. Just my .02. *1/4.
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Eric Bischoff is with Chris Jericho and Christian before their match later tonight against Trish Stratus and Lita, and for some reason Jericho has feelings, although not verbal, that he doesn't want to participate in the match. My initial reaction to learning about that match when I began watching this show...nothing good can come of it.
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It's Mick Foley! I guess he's the co-GM of RAW. Didn't know that. The petition to bring back Stone Cold Steve Austin has 1 million signatures. Now, Austin being forced to "leave" is something I DID know about. Anyhow, Foley brings Stacy Keibler out, she's wearing a cheerleader outfit and does cartwheels around the ring. Foley tries to do a cartwheel, but he can't. I found it a little weird that the two old men on commentary continually made ass jokes, but that's both the WWE and old men for you. Randy Orton and Ric Flair come to the ring, and Orton says that the party is over. Since the party's over, Foley pulls off his suit, to reveal THE REFEREE SHIRT. Hell yeah. Well, it's time for a match.
It's Randy Orton w/Ric Flair vs. Rob Van Dam, for RVD's Intercontinental Championship. Mick Foley's the special guest referee, if you couldn't already tell.
Blow-by-blow: RVD gives Orton a legsweep, so Orton bails out of the ring. He comes back in, and gives RVD a headlock, which RVD reverses into a hammerlock. RVD gives him a snap mare and a headscissor, on the mat, and after a few reversals, the two men square off in the middle of the ring. Crowd cheers, and RVD gives Orton a spinning heel kick. Orton misses a charge to the corner, and RVD springboards up to the top and gives him a crossbody, which gets 2. Orton gives RVD a European uppercut, and RVD comes back with a karate kick. Orton bails, and RVD follows him to the floor with a tope con hilo. Orton comes back in, and RVD follows with a slingshot legdrop, for a 2 count. Orton misses a charge, and RVD springboards to the top rope, but gets pushed to the floor. I like what I'm seeing. So far. Unfortunately, that became a trend for the rest of the night. Orton dropkicks RVD on the floor, and gets a cover for 2 on the inside. Orton chokes RVD on the 2nd rope, and RVD's sell of the move is so damn ridiculous that I'm not sure how to describe it. Hey, it's better than nothing. In my notes, I called his sell "RETARDED." Orton rams RVD to the buckle, but RVD comes back with a crossbody for 2. Orton goes to the chinlock, and when RVD breaks the hold, Orton misses a charge to the corner, but comes back with a clothesline. A chinlock fits, in this case, as Orton's offense has been head oriented. Orton dropkicks RVD, who's in a seated position, and then reapplies the chinlock. RVD breaks the hold, then gets a roll-up for 2, and a front bodyslam, prior to the split legged moonsault, which gets 2. Orton gives RVD a neckbreaker from a powerbomb position, which gets 2. Sorry, I ain't down with all the newfangled names for those moves. Orton goes back to the chinlock, and this time it goes for a while. A while long enough to take the crowd out of the match, unfortunately. In my opinion. RVD gets up and both men slug it out, and RVD gets a spinning heel kick. RVD does the 10 punch in the corner, and then a monkey flip after a whip to the other side. RVD gives him 3 shouldercharges in the corner, but flips and misses on the fourth. He gives him a springobard kick and a clothesline, and then a northern lights suplex for 2. Orton bails, and RVD suplexes him on the barrier at ringside. He gives him the spinning legdrop off the apron, and on the way back in, Orton finds a way to give him a DDT. It gets a long 2 count, and only 2, as RVD's hand finds the bottom rope. Orton pins him in the center for 2, then misses a kneedrop. RVD gives him a spinning heel kick type cradle for 2, and when both men get up, RVD gives Orton a spinning heel kick and dropkick, before Rolling Thunder. Ric Flair gets a little too close to RVD, so RVD just kicks him out of the way. Orton gets a rollup for 2, and a kick. RVD goes up top, and Flair tries to knock RVD off the top, but Foley decks Flair, knocking him off the ring apron. Good way for a first interaction. Orton crotches RVD on the top with a dropkick, then both men lie on the mat for a while, before both get up and Orton gives RVD the RKO, for the 3 count and the Intercontinental Title, at 17:59.
Match Analysis: Oooh. Oooh. Oooh. I hate that fucking finish. Hate. Hate. Hate. The finish where a guy lies on the mat for a while, then gives another wrestler his finisher out of nowhere sucks. Not my favorite. Had Orton given RVD the RKO right after crotching him, I'd have liked it more. Still though, it was just an average match. Average means **1/2, minus -1/4* for the shitty finish, giving it **1/4. The large majority of the smark community seems to have biases against Orton, and I don't really get it. He's a decent wrestler. I've seen better, and I've seen worse. And average qualifies as good, nowadays. Or at least that's what I think.
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It's time for the Battle of the Sexes: Chris Jericho and Christian vs. Trish Stratus and Lita. The video package before this match honestly made me embarassed to be a wrestling fan. I didn't want to watch this show with everyone around, cause I'm afraid of, well, getting embarassed. But my entire family was here, and I was embarassed. Oh well. Lame as fuck. The CDN Dollar bet was the only part redeemable about the whole thing, cause it's a Canadian Dollar. Jericho and Christian bet a dollar on who would nail their woman first. Jericho's being Trish, and Christian's being Lita. I chuckled, but that's it. FWIW, I cried during the video when Trish acted all sad about the bet, but that was only because I poked myself in the eye.
Blow-by-blow: Jim Ross compares Eric Bischoff to Saddam Hussein. Boo. Since this fits in the match description, I can't believe how awful the booking was to put these 4 in a match. Nothing good can come of this for Christian and Jericho. Trish and Jericho start the match off, and talk with each other in the ring. See what I'm talking about, nothing good can happen. Trish slaps Jericho a whole bunch, until Jericho bends her over his knee and spanks her ass. My dad guffawed at the visual. Trish kicks Jericho, then gives him a flying headscissor, and tries some dropkicks, but they don't do a thing. Christian tags in, and shoves Trish over towards her corner, where she tags Lita. Christian grabs her by the wrist, until Lita gives him a headbutt. Christian chases her around the ring, until she gets back in. Christian misses a charge to the buckle, and Lita gives him a monkeyflip. Jericho hits Lita, and Christian gives her a bodyslam. Jericho comes in with a bodyslam, and steps on Lita's hair. Heh. Jericho tries a powerbomb, but Lita gives him a hurricanrana for 2. Jericho gives her a back elbow, and tags in Christian, who tears off Lita's shirt. Jericho smells the shirt for some reason, and throws it back in the ring. Christian taunts her, until she gives him a lowblow. Trish comes in, and kicks Christian after a missed clothesline, and then, Christian misses a charge and flies out of the ring through the ropes. Trish tries to rana Jericho, but can't, and he throws her to the canvas, where Christian gets a 2 count. Jericho gets a rollup for 2, and Christian gives her a clothesline. However, Lita comes in with a rana off the top, and then she goes out of the ring, where she's thrown into the barrier by Jericho. Jericho and Trish stare at each other for a second, so Christian comes up from behind and rolls up Trish while holding the tights, for the win at 6:37. Boy oh boy. Jericho looks all sad, as Christian celebrates, on the way backstage.
Match Analysis: I could go on and on forever, but this is such shitty booking. It's like telling Jericho and Christian, "to the midcard you go, where forever you shall stay." I could never buy Jericho as a main eventer after this, had I been watching at the time. EVER. Awful. The match was fine, and *1/2 worthy. But the booking was -****. Terrible. I don't understand it at all, especially why the match would even be made in the first place. Shit like this is what made me quit watching the WWE. And now I remember why. The night after Survivor Series 03 was when I'd start watching both RAW and SMACKDOWN! only once or twice a month, IF that. And after the Royal Rumble, I quit watching RAW entirely. I didn't have the time, but when I did, I didn't watch it anyway. This was a good reminder as to why. I'm glad I saw this.
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Before this next match, we see a clip where HBK practically bled buckets for Austin, in order to save Austin's job. Batista interfered and cost Shawn the match, and Austin's job. So, we have this, a very interesting matchup, to say the least.
Yeah, Shawn Michaels vs. Batista w/Ric Flair. Hmmm....this was the match that piqued my interest, when telling my brother to check what the matches were without telling me the results. Yeah, I'm almost 20 and can do it myself, but why should I? I like to be surprised. Also, in case I've never said this, Shawn's my favorite wrestler to watch. I don't care about the backstage stuff, I'm talking about his matches. He can play both babyface and heel the same way. :Cocky heel that you want to see get his ass kicked OR sympathetic babyface that bleeds buckets and sells like a champ," is something that few wrestlers do well enough. Fuck that noise about him not selling when he kips up. There is not a SINGLE babyface in the entire world that doesn't do shit like that. With that said, him being my favorite to watch is what makes this match very interesting, seeing how the match will be against a limited guy like Batista.
Blow-by-blow: Shawn avoids Batista in the corner, and potshots at him with a few left jabs. They stare at each other and punch in the middle of the ring, until Batista kicks Shawn in the groin area. Batista rams Shawn into the buckle, and Shawn comes back with a few kicks to the leg, and chops to the chest. He avoids Batista again, and punches Flair in the face. For that, Batista chases him around the outside of the ring, until Flair stops him and has a meeting with Batista. Flair whispers something in his ear, and Batista slowly gets back in the ring. Batista corners Shawn and beats him up, mixing in a few knees with the left and right handed punches he throws. Batista clotheslines Shawn on a reversal sequence, which gets a 2 count. Batista gives Shawn a suplex for 2, and then whips him hard into the buckle. Batista gives Shawn an elbow to his face, and a knee to the back, then whips him hard, back into the buckle. Batista chokes Shawn, until Shawn begins chopping him. Batista places Shawn on the top rope after regaining control, but Shawn comes off the top with a moonsault block for 2. He barely hit Batista, but that's better than Shawn's knee clocking someone in the face. Nothing to nitpick about. Shawn gives him a flying forearm and kips up once the referee's double count reaches 7, but Batista springs up too, and gives Shawn a clothesline. Batista puts Shawn into the buckle again, and this time, Shawn goes upside down. Batista tosses Shawn out of the ring, and rams him into the steps. He then throws Shawn in, and gets a cover for a 2 count. A Batista backbreaker gets two, and he gives him another, but of the submission variety. Once Batista drops him, it's at this point that I know what I'm going to rate the match, unless there's a screwup. It's rare, but I could already tell. Usually I can't. Batista punches Shawn, and gets a 2 count. Shawn gives Batista a flying forearm, after a little mistake when Batista shot Shawn into the ropes the first time. Uh-oh, a fuckup. Rating drops. What happened was, Shawn got shot into the ropes, and Batista put his head down. Shawn improvised awfully fast, and kicked him in the head. Then, Batista shot Shawn into the ropes (while Shawn has a clear look of disappointment on his face), and they got the flying forearm right. Every single part of the re-do took part in the exact same place that it happened the first time. I don't mind blown spots, even though they affect my rating, unless they get repeated again. Then they DO bother me a little. I digress. Shawn kips up, and Batista grabs onto a choke. He tries a choke powerbomb, but Shawn reverses it into a DDT. Shawn goes up top, and gives him a flying elbowdrop, for 2. Shawn TUNES UP THE BAND, but Batista blocks SWEET CHIN MUSIC, and gives him a spinebuster. And then, he gives him another. NOT a repeated spot, never blown in the first place. Batista goes for the Batista Bomb, but Shawn flips through the move on the pick-up, and gives Batista SWEET CHIN MUSIC, giving Shawn the pinfall and victory at 12:22. Batista is awfully pissed about losing, and we'll come back to that.
Match Analysis: Without the match being overly violent or longer, I couldn't have seen it being better. I know how nitpicky this is, but since the blown spot bothered me, I'll knock it down to *3/4. Still, it's solid. Very solid, and better than I had originally thought it would be, when hearing of the matchup. Right guy went over, too. I usually don't make comments like that, but in the case of experienced vs. inexperienced or a title change, I think I will from now on, but only when reviewing an entire show, and not a portion of it.
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Part #2 of the program, as Maven makes his way to the ring. LOL. This is the worst thing about split brand PPV's. It's not worth ordering a show to watch Maven in a match. Sorry. Matt Hardy Version 1.0 comes out too, and they brawl on the outside. They're supposed to have a match, but Batista's in the ring, see. Hardy throws Maven into the ring, where he gets FUUUUCKED up by Batista. 2 Batista Bombs are the main course for Maven, and he's out like a light. That means no match, and everyone boos. What the fuck? They wanted to see this? Hardy covers Maven anyway and counts the pin himself, then grabs the mic and says..."your winner, Matt Hardy V1UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH." I was eagerly awaiting that. I laughed for a while, which is probably embarassing.
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To follow up on that, Flair and Batista are backstage, as Batista is still pissed about losing. Flair calms him down, and tells him, we're gonna get some titles tonight. ORLY? Flair's awesome at these interview segments. Awesome.
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Oh boy, a match that's hell to review. Because of how long it is, and the multiple teams involved. Tag Team Turmoil, for the World Tag Team Championships. Just a gauntlet match, really.
Blow-by-blow: Starting the match, will be La Resistance (Conway and Dupree) vs. The Hurricane and the S.H.I.T., Rosey. Geez, that sucks. Rosey and Conway start the match, and Rosey gives Conway a clothesline. Hurricane tags in, with a legdrop off the top rope, and when Conway bails to the floor, the Hurricane tries to springboard out onto him, and eats shit, as his feet catch the top rope, causing him to tumble out onto the floor. I laughed, and I didn't stop laughing for a minute. No lie. That was one of the funniest botches I've ever seen, and if I could find a video, I'd share. The crowd is SO dead, they don't even chant "you fucked up." Oh dear. Conway gives Hurricane a full nelson, and then a swinging neckbreaker. Dupree tags in, and gives Hurricane a powerslam after Hurricane misses a charge. The powerslam gets a 2 count, and Hurricane comes back with a face buster. Not so hot tag Rosey, who has shoulderblocks and backdrops for everyone. He gives one opponent a samoan drop, and another a catatonic, for 2. He dumps Conway out, and gives Dupree and UGLY spinebuster. Hurricane jumps on Rosey's shoulders, and gives Dupree a big splash, gaining the pinfall at 3:17. 1/2*.
Mark Jindrak and Garrison Cade come through the crowd as their entrance music plays, and Jindrak rolls Hurricane up at 3:34. DUD.
Lance Storm and Val Venis are the next team up, and they both bring some ladies to the ring. Venis shoulderblocks Jindrak, and Jindrak does the same. Venis gives him a hiptoss and both men trade armdrags, before Jindrak slaps Venis across the face. Venis gives him a back elbow, and Storm tags in with an axhandle off the top rope. Storm gives him an armdrag, and Cade comes in, and gives him a headlock takeover. BORING chant begins, and Storm does that little Owen thing, where he plays around on the ropes, and backflips back into the ring. I liked that. Jindrak tags in, and applies a surboard. Venis comes in and kicks Jindrak, then gives him a spinebuster, and Cade a neckbreaker. Venis gives Cade a half nelson slam, and Storm clotheslines Cade out of the ring. Venis gives Jindrak a blue thunder bomb for 2, and when Cade comes back in, he takes out Venis leg and pins him, while Jindrak holds the leg down, for the pinfall at 7:54. *1/2.
Bubba Ray and D-Von Dudley (the champions) are the next ones in, and they toss Jindrak out of the ring. Bubba puts Cade on the top, in tree of woe position, and hits him a few times. D-Von tags in, and both he and his partner give Cade a double clothesline for 2. D-Von gives Jindrak a flying back elbow for 2, and Jindrak comes back with a clothesline for 2. Cade hits D-Von, then tags in. He gives D-Von a snapmare and goes to the chinlock. He goes up top after stopping D-Von's comeback with a back elbow, and misses a flying elbowdrop. Bubba tags in, and clotheslines Cade, and hiptosses Jindrak. He gives Cade a backdrop, and gives both men an avalanche at the same time. He tosses Cade out, and D-Von gives Cade a clothesline. Cade puts Bubba into the stars, and Jindrak and D-Von trade rollups, for 2. D-Von tosses Cade out, and once Jindrak misses a dropkick, it's 3D for him, and the Dudleys get the pin at 12:29. *1/4.
Scott Steiner and Test are the last team. Jesus Christ. Test kicks Bubba, and Scott gives him a belly to belly suplex, then tosses him out. Test rams Bubba into the post twice, and Scott Steiner gives him a STEINERLINE inside, and an elbowdrop for 2. Yeah, the one where he kisses his artificially enhanced bicep. Then he does some pushups, and applies a fujiwara armbar. Test comes in and also applies an armbar, when Scott leaves the ring. Test puts Bubba on the top rope, but Bubba comes off with a senton, after not allowing Test to suplex him off. Here we go to the end, it's long and not very good. D-Von comes in and hits both opponents, and gives Test a flying shoulderblock. He gives both a neckbreaker, and gets a 2 count. By this point, the crowd does not give a shit. Scott gives D-Von a t-bone suplex, and Test gives him a sidewalk slam for 2. Test accidentally gives Steiner a big boot, and D-Von rolls Test up for 2. Test gives D-Von a full nelson slam, and gets 2, with his own feet on the ropes. Test grabs a chair and one of the title belts, then throws the belt near the referee, in order to distract him when he hits D-Von with the chair. The cover only gets 2, and Bubba comes in with a Bubba Bomb. That gives D-Von the 3 count, at 19:27. Why in the world was that the longest match? 1/2*.
Now, Eric Bischoff comes out, and says there's still one last team. It's Ric Flair and Batista! Flair chopblocks Bubba and works on his knee, and applies the figure-four on Bubba, while Batista gives D-Von a Batista Bomb, and that's the end, thankfully, at 21:32. *, and new tag team champions. Goodness. JR nearly gives away the ending to the PPV, but I'll ignore it.
Match Analysis: The overall rating of the match averages to 3/4*. That's pretty much how I thought of the thing as a whole. So bad, the crowd didn't give a shit, neither did I, and a majority of the participants in the original match (prior to Bischoff) don't belong on many PPV's, if any at all. Horrendous. Best part of it was the Storm/Venis portion. That's no surprise.
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Here's an announcement of WWE's trip to Iraq, which took place later that month...
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And we have a thrown together match, Ivory vs. Molly Holly for Molly's Womens Title.
Blow-by-blow: Ivory gives Molly a snapmare, and goes up to the top, with a crossbody that gets 2. She slingshots Molly over the top rope, and goes up to the floor, frontflipping onto Molly from the apron. Molly baseball slides Ivory to the floor when she gets thrown back in, and gives her a northern lights suplex, which gets 2. Armbar from Molly, and King says that Molly may have Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Where the fuck did that come from? Not only that, it offends me. I have it, and I'm perfectly fine. Fuck that guy. Rant: I hate the way people stereotype those with IBS, like it makes them have to spastically shit their pants at random periods. That has never happened to me, and the first time I told someone and they laughed and asked me if I shit my pants all the time, in highschool, I knocked them the fuck out. I got suspended, but I didn't care. It makes me angry when people say things like that. Anyway, back to the match. Molly gives Ivory a suplex for 2, and scratches her face. She springboards into Ivory, and gets a two count, then slams Ivory's face into the mat. Molly pulls the buckle pad off, but gets rammed into it by Ivory for 2. Molly reverses an Ivory roll-up for the 3 count, and retains her title at 4:23.
Match Analysis: Crowd hated it. I didn't care much, but it wasn't bad. *.
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Video package prior to.....
Triple H vs. Kane vs. Goldberg, for Goldberg's World Heavyweight Title, in a triple threat match. Guess who's taking the fall? (I usually type what I write in my notes, so yeah. I don't type something from after the fact before the match, very often anyway.)
Blow-by-blow: You have to gimmick this match to make it look good on paper. And I never got the thing with Kane wearing a towel on his head. HHH hits Goldberg from behind, and both he and Kane work Goldberg over in the corner. HHH looks funny with a completely shaved face. HHH whips Goldberg over to Kane, who clotheslines Golberg. HHH rams Goldberg into the buckle, and Goldberg comes back, clotheslining HHH. Kane clotheslines Goldberg, but Goldberg comes back with a flying shoulderblock. Goldberg powerslams Kane, and dumps HHH out of the ring. Goldberg and Kane fight, and Kane rams him into the buckle, then clotheslines Goldberg twice. Kane tries a suplex, but Goldberg breaks it up, then hits HHH with a butterfly suplex. Kane gives Goldberg a sidewalk slam and goes up top, but Goldberg slams him off. He gives HHH a press powerslam, like the one Dr. Death would do sometimes. Goldberg lines Kane up for a spear, but Kane gives him a big boot. Now both Kane and HHH choke Goldberg, until they both give Goldberg a suplex. HHH hangs out in a corner, while Kane gives Goldberg a powerslam. HHH tries to steal the fall, and now Kane's mad. Kane clotheslines HHH oout of the ring, and gives Goldberg a hotshot. JR calls the match "bowling shoe ugly" and I'd tend to agree, although it's been better than I had thought it would be. HHH accidentally hits Kane with a chair, and Goldberg slams HHH. He puts the chair on HHH's leg, to break it I guess, but he's unable to. Kane tosses Goldberg out of the ring, and into the steel steps. Kane tries to chokeslam Goldberg through the Spanish Announce Table, but Goldberg blocks it, and tries to Jackhammer him through it. Hah. He can't either, so eventually, Kane chokeslams Goldberg through the table after HHH hits Goldberg with a chair. Almost forgot, the table didn't break. SO, HHH gets on the barrier outside the ring, and elbowdrops Goldberg through the table. Heh. HHH won't hit Kane with the chair, no sir, but he'll throw him into the steps instead. He tries to PEDIGREE Kane on the floor, but gets backdropped. Goldberg's out of the match for a while, so forget about him. Unfortunately, the match goes to shit when Goldberg's out on the floor. Inside, Kane gives HHH a big boot and sidewalk slam. Kane goes up top, and clotheslines HHH from up there. Kane tries the chokeslam, but HHH pokes him in the eye, and gives Kane a DDT. HHH gets a neckbreaker, then punches Kane, but that doesn't do anything. Kane clotheslines HHH over the top rope, and then they go to the stage, where Kane gives HHH a chokeslam. They had to do SOMETHING to try and save this match. Kane drags HHH to the ring, and Goldberg finally gets up. He runs in the ring and SPEARS Kane, for a 2 count. HHH breaks up the pin, then all three men fight with each other, until Goldberg beats both up. HHH pokes Goldberg in the eye, but it doesn't hurt Goldberg, so he clotheslines both Kane and HHH. He SPEARS Kane, as Randy Orton and Ric Flair come to the ring. They can't do anything to Goldberg, so Goldberg gives HHH a SPEAR. Kane and Goldberg now choke each other, but HHH gives Goldberg a low blow, and Kane gives Goldberg a chokeslam. Batista comes to the ring and pulls Kane off Goldberg on the pin, and HHH steals the fall to win the match, and his 8th major (meaning WWE, Undisputed or World Heavyweight) title, at 19:29. Guess I was wrong about who would take the fall, wasn't I? Evolution celebrate with all their titles, cause they have all RAW's titles, and the show ends.
Match Analysis: Was decent before the table spot. Was DOGSHIT afterwards. That's like almost every match on this show, started off strong, but wound up being junk. Cause it was decent at one point, it's worth a *. That's it. They made Goldberg look like a straight out bitch. Kane's chokeslam doesn't really win important matches, but it put Goldberg down for the equivalent of a 10 count. No wonder his WWE run wasn't so hot, you can't really have him in this long of a match. It's gotta be short and to the point. Still like him, though. But Kane and HHH should never have a match with one another again. No chemistry.
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Rating: Bad. Nothing over **1/4 is a problem. A big problem. Plus the booking of the Battle of the Sexes and main event really bothered me, and the crowd was dead after Jericho and Christian won. One would say, if this show was so shitty, why'd you watch all the way through? Well, I'll explain why, there's two reasons.
1. I enjoy writing these reviews. A lot.
2. There's only been one show I've seen that's been SO SHITTY that I've gotten no enjoyment out of it. It was that Philly show with Hogan/Race, and I turned it off midway through. That was probably the worst wrestling show I've ever watched. I got a lot of enjoyment out of this. V1UUUUUUUUUUUHH, Hurricane's botch, RVD's sell of the choke, HHH elbowdropping Goldberg through the table, Scott Steiner's overall terribleness, Flair winning a title, and seeing a decent IC Title match. So there.
Best Segment: Rob Van Dam vs. Randy Orton for the Intercontinental Championship.
Worst Segment: Tag Team Turmoil. My goodness, that was terrible.
Loudest Sound: RVD, Goldberg, Val Venis(!), Ric Flair and HHH. Very typical, cause Venis brought some women with him to ringside. Obviously, he's going to get a loud pop doing that.
No Sound: La Resistance and the Women's Match. Sorry.
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Don't know what I'm going to write about next, but hopefully it's better than this. It has to be, right? The best thing I can say about this show is that not much was bad enough to be a DUD, and nothing bad enough to be -*'s. Just checked, and this is my longest review. Yay me.
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