It's either this or the MNW, and I'm certainly not watching that after watching USC lose a tough game to Memphis. It's gotta be something sure to put me in a good mood.

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We see the clip from last week, where the Midnight Express came to the ring and attacked the Rock n Roll Express, but most notably, injured the throat of Ricky Morton.

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The first match is Ron Garvin vs. Pablo Crenshaw, and in what's not a surprise, Garvin finishes it with a HAND OF STONE, at 3:20. *. He cuts a promo, and talks about how much desire he has. Garvin says that Flair used to have it, but it's disappeared.

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Ivan Koloff (World 6 Man Tag Champion) faces Benny "U-Haul" Traylor, and it goes a little long for my taste. Koloff does 2 of every move during the match, and pins Traylor with the Russian Sickle at 4:52. DUD. Seen better from Uncle Ivan.

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Jimmy Valiant comes out and cuts a promo. Man, I think he's funny as hell, and I don't even know why. He faces Mr. Georgia Tech (look at the mask). The guy's name is never mentioned, and probably with good reason. Valiant gives him the Boogie Woogie Elbow, at around 3:40. Thankfully, it was short. 1/4*.

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Ric Flair comes out, and talks about women, and Ron Garvin. Space Mountain and all that, yadayadayada. Not one of his better efforts.

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Quickly following him, it's Nikita and Uncle Ivan. Well, Paul Jones appears, and volunteers a wrestler to help them defend their 6-man trophy. It's BARON VON FUCKING RASCHKE!!! Baron goes to the ring, and he's facing Tony Zane. He gives that ugly motherfucker THE CLAW, at 2:49, and Zane submits. Jones makes sure that the referee doesn't make him break the hold, and Tony Schiavone calls Randy Anderson, "Peewee." Did not know they used to call him that. Baron cuts a promo, and while I like how he talks, it isn't very "German." But whatever. Match was 1/2*.

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Sam Houston (Mid Atlantic Heavyweight Champion) faces off against Art Prills next. Dear God help me. I can't stand Houston's squashes, so, of course, this one is extra long. 7:12, and ended with Houston's bulldog. 7 FUCKING 12. No squash should EVER be that long. DUD.

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Dusty Rhodes and Baby Doll are with Tony, Dusty's talking about he and Baby Doll going up to the Himalayas, and Baby Doll riding a YAK. What? That makes no sense. He's making fun of Ric Flair, obviously, and talking about how he travels the world. He says he's going to go see Don Owen this week (promoter, ran Portland). Baby Doll talks about Tully a bit, and I don't like listening to her all that much, so it's a good thing that ran short.

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The Barbarian w/Paul Jones is taking on the Big Bossman Big Bubba Rogers The Boss The Guardian Angel Ray Taylor next. Taylor's a huge guy. So, Barbarian gives him a powerslam, and finishes off the match with a flying headbutt off the top, at 3:33:33. No typo. *1/4. I love watching Barbarian beat the shit out of these jobbers.

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Magnum TA's with Tony, to talk about Nikita Koloff. Magnum was at Vengeance 07? Why the fuck did I not know this? Lee Peek is taking on Magnum (US Champion), and Magnum beats him with the belly-to-belly in 34 seconds. Thanks for the short squash. *.

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Here comes the shit I hate, more Dusty overkill. Tony's with Dusty's doctor, and the doctor says that Dusty has to get rid of the steel toe boot he's been wearing. Arn Anderson comes out after the pretaped clip is shown, and he's livid. Cause Dusty and Arn have a cage match, see. Arn says he doesn't belong in a cage, he's not a criminal. But at the end he says, remember what happened the last time an Anderson was in a cage with Dusty. Good promo.

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The Rock n Roll Express face the team of Larry Clarke and Jerry Garmon next. Quickly finished at 4:14 with the double dropkick, that gets Ricky Morton the pinfall. *.

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Jim Cornette comes to the commentary area. Oh shit. He's not happy because of all the mail about what they did to Ricky Morton. He talks about the pre-pubescent little girls who like Morton and only know how to write with crayon. It's so hard to keep up with him, that's all I wrote down. He rambles, on and on and on. In a good way, though. Seeing as he came out, the Midnight Express have to be facing someone. It's Larry Vickery and Bill Tabb. The Midnights finish Vickery at 5:07, after Condrey launches Bobby Eaton onto Vickery, with a splash off the top. **. Again, this is a lesson in squashing. Anyone that watches The Wire, they'd think that Bill Tabb looks a bit like Dennis "Cutty" Wise. You know, the guy that came out of jail, got back in "the game" and bitched out. Enough of that, though.

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Poor old Gene Ligon has to face Tully Blanchard w/JJ Dillon. Dillon just called Baby Doll out. He said it would take a forklift to put her on the back of a yak. Yo. The fans continually chant "I Quit" throughout the match, which is awesome. I like how HARD it was for fans to forget stuff back then. Now, it's easy for the regular fan to forget something after a week or two. Sucks, but that's the business, I suppose. Tully finishes Ligon with the SLINGSHOT SUPLEX at 4:48. *1/2.

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Garvin comes out again, and we flashback to 12/28. Review for that is right here..

http://forums.thesmartmarks.com/blog/kingo...?showentry=2299

It was awesome. Back to the show, Ric Flair comes out, and punches Garvin right in the mouth. FIGHT!!! He throws Garvin in the ring, and tosses Mac Jeffers and the referee out of there. Flair chops Garvin to death and gives him a suplex, then sits on Garvin, like Garvin does when he's pinning a jobber. Oh fuck no. Flair walks back towards the commentary table, and Garvin attacks him from behind. Now Garvin starts to beat his ass, until Tully Blanchard and Arn Anderson run into the ring, and hold Garvin for Flair to beat up. Dusty, Magnum and Sam Houston (one of these does not belong) run out to the ring, and save Garvin. Garvin gives Flair a HAND OF STONE, and sits on him, just like Flair did a minute ago. Haha. To the commercial, and Flair's still out. Tully and Arn have words for the babyfaces, talking about how the Four Horsemen will retaliate. You don't mess with their family.

Hot, HOT segment.

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Now, the match that was interrupted by Garvin/Flair. It's my nephew Nikita vs. Mac Jeffers. Throughout the match, Nikita stops what he's doing, and goes into Goldberg mode, yelling out STINKIN' ROAD WARRIOR. So awesome. See, I would have done the Goldberg thing with him back then. No joke. Had they done that, whichever American that beat him would have received the ULTIMATE rub. The Sickle finishes at 4:00. Nikita is so awesome. If you think otherwise, you just don't understand. *1/2. Nikita, Baron and Ivan come to the commentary area, and Nikita talks about how he'll be US Champion. Ivan says Khrusher will be back, but until then, they'll use "greedy American" Paul Jones' help. They say they like greedy Americans.

The show's over, after we see Flair get knocked out by Garvin again.

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Rating: Good. Hot angle, stinkin' ROAD WARRIOR, Jim Cornette, and Baron Von Raschke. My bias for this promotion and especially this time period is well known, but I don't know how anyone could NOT like this stuff.

Best Segment: Garvin knocking out Flair.

Worst Segment: Sam Houston's LONG squash. Please, stop. At least make them shorter.

Loudest Sound: Tully, Flair, Nikita and Ivan. Simple.

No Sound: Nobody. The crowd goes nuts to see all of them.

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Don't know what I'll review next. Not the MNW, cause the Kings play tonight, and so do the Lakers. I'll probably review nothing. I don't like the way everything's being spread out this month. Instead, I'll be watching some PURO, but I don't want to make a fool out of myself, so no review.