Review: WWE No Mercy 2007, from Chicago, Illinois, 10/7/2007.
I wanted to watch this, so...
___________________
At the beginning of the show, Vince McMahon and William Regal come to the ring. They talk about John Cena's injury, and present a new WWE Champion, who just so happens to be Randy Orton. Yay! Not really, though. He stands there for a long time, and William Regal congratulates him. Orton's supposed to pick who he defends his title against tonight, BUT, Triple H comes down to the ring. He congratulates Orton, but he wants a title match. Orton says no...so HHH makes fun of Vince. And he gets his title shot, right now. The long-ish opening is too much like RAW, meaning that I don't like it.
___________________
So, yeah, it's HHH vs. Randy Orton for the WWE Title. It's a good match, albeit a bit truncated, given the later events of the night. No PEDIGREE, no RKO. HHH pins Orton after a roll-up, when Orton charges into the ringpost, on accident, through the 2nd and top turnbuckles. Time of the fall was 11:06, and it was a ***1/4 match. The ending surprised me, as although I knew the results of the event before hand, I didn't know how the results were had. So that was cool. HHH celebrates for a long time, and we cut to...
___________________
Vince being disappointed in Orton, backstage. Then, a WrestleMania XXIV promo. Ok.
___________________
The next match is a surprise match, between Jeff Hardy (Intercontinental Champion), Paul London and Brian Kendrick, who are facing Mr. Kennedy, Trevor Murdoch and Lance Cade (World Tag Team Champions, meaning the latter two). There were many cool spots in this match, too many to count, at that. I liked when Hardy did the spot where he runs along the guardrail to jump onto his opponent, but in this case, he tripped and fell at the end. I don't think he was trying to do that. Anyhow, Kennedy ended the match by pinning London after the GREEN BAY PLUNGE, at 8:05. That move looks tough to take. **.
___________________
HHH and Batista encounter each other backstage, until Vince McMahon shows up. He says HHH has to defend his title against Umaga tonight. Vince and HHH have the same looking nose. It's creepy.
___________________
The next match is Big Daddy V w/Matt Striker vs. CM Punk for the ECW Title. Good thing this was short, cause I can't look at Viscera for very long. Striker interferes after a Punk missile dropkick, and that gets V DQ'd, at 1:37. So, why is this on PPV again? DUD. V beats up Punk after the match, and Punk does the whole internal bleeding thing. Just, whatever.
___________________
Matt Hardy and MVP have a pizza eating contest next. Maria is going to keep score for Hardy, and Melina is going to keep score for MVP. Hardy wins, and barfs on MVP. MVP had a REALLY hard time not laughing when Hardy did that. Really. Short, and to the point. Well, it really wasn't, but why should I say more?
___________________
A video package precedes the following match between Umaga and HHH for the WWE Title. Of course, the video was about their 'feud'. HHH pins him with the PEDIGREE at 6:33, after Umaga gave him some tough shots to the ribs. Standard RAW match, so there's really not much to say. *1/2.
___________________
Saveus.22 promo. That's been a real success.
___________________
A promo follows, with Ranjin Singh, Khali's manager. Khali is praying to some Hindu god of violence. I thought this was going to be the Punjabi Prison match. It's not, thankfully.
___________________
This is the first Smackdown match of the night. Well, it took long enough. Who the fuck is this ring announcer? He sucks. Anyway, the match is Finlay vs. Rey Mysterio. There's an elaborate ending, so it'll take a while to explain. Rey kicks Finlay in the head with Finlay on the apron, so he drops down, throat first along the 2nd rope. Basically in 619 position. Rey went up to the top and gave Finlay a legdrop, which caused Finlay to hit his head on the ground, outside the ring. So he's knocked unconscious and all, except he's faking the injury. No time given, because the bell never rang to end the match. You could see him peek his head up, deliberately so, so that the viewers at home knew he was faking. Anyway, he gets put on a stretcher, Rey gets all sad, the referee gives the X, and the crowd starts chanting "Finlay." UNTIL, Finlay gets off the stretcher, and attacks Rey. HARHARHAR. I actually liked that. He beats him up bad, until he leaves. **1/2. Match was sound, but not spectacular.
___________________
Vince and HHH again, as Vince tells HHH he'll face Orton in a LAST MAN STANDING MATCH. I generally HATE Last Man Standing matches.
___________________
Beth Phoenix vs. Candice Michelle is next, for the Women's Title. The battle of terrible theme music!!! Phoenix finishes the match with a fisherman's buster at 4:32, in a finish that only establishes that one, if not both of these wrestlers do not know how to work. It was spot, spot, lay around, Phoenix spot, finish. DUD's are in order. Jerry "the King" Lawler interviews Beth Phoenix after the match, she's perfect and this is a new era...but who cares?
___________________
NOW, we have the Punjabi Prison match between The Great Khali and Batista, for the World Heavyweight Championship. There's one thing I just don't get...why weren't the rules explained? At least, I don't think they were. The rules are...you go through the first of the two cages, to get through the first, you call for a door to be opened. You have a minute to get through, or the door is locked, and closed. There are four doors. If you do not get through the doors, you must climb over the first cage. To win the match, you have to climb over both cages. Basically, this is one of the dumbest fucking things I've ever seen in wrestling. The match is really bad, and really slow. No wonder Rey was in the last PPV Title Match. All the doors get closed, so both wrestlers have to climb over the first cage. Batista tries to climb out, but Khali pulls him down to the ring, at which point, Khali climbs over the first cage. As he begins to climb up the 2nd cage, Batista climbs up the first, eventually getting over it. As Batista climbs down, he realizes that he needs to make a rash decision. So, he jumps from the top area of the first cage, all the way to the 2nd cage. Batista makes it down to the floor first, because he's much smaller. Honestly, I wouldn't have been too sad had Batista fallen to the ground. I don't care for him. Anyway, Batista retains his title. DUD, and only because of that insane leap. That kept it from sure -*'s. 14:47 was the time.
___________________
The last match of the night is Randy Orton vs. HHH in a Last Man Standing Match for the WWE Title, but before the match, HHH has an interview with Todd Grisham. This is a dangerous business, and all that. Anyway, I'll just give the rundown of the big spots. HHH pushes Orton onto the ECW announce table from the RAW announce table, which gets a 9 count. In case you didn't know, the only way to win the match is if your opponent stays down for a 10 count. But I think you already know that. Orton DDT's HHH onto a chair, which gets 9 for both guys. An RKO into a chair, much like Raven does/did with the droptoehold into the chair, gets a 9 count. HHH tells Orton to suck it, and falls back down, for a 9 count. Orton slingshots HHH into the ringpost, at which point HHH does a bladejob. These events are in order, but stuff happens between them. HHH hits Orton in the head with the chair, and in an event that's hard to describe, Orton's head is placed between the portion of the steel steps where it connects to the ringpost, and HHH hits him there with a chair. That looked cool. Crowd is loving this, but it only gets a 9 count. Both men climb on the RAW announce table, and Orton gives HHH an RKO. It doesn't break the announce table, though. Still, that's it. HHH can't get up at the 10 count, and Orton wins the WWE Title, at 20:25. ****1/4, and a hell of a match, although LMS matches are never my favorite. Saved the end of the PPV, too.
___________________
Rating: Good. Two *** matches in this day and age gives a PPV a good rating. Not only that, but it was enjoyable throughout.
Best Segment: Orton vs. HHH in a Last Man Standing Match.
Worst Segment: Batista vs. Khali in a Punjabi Prison Match.
Loudest Sound: HHH, Randy Orton, Batista and Finlay's attack on Rey. Like I said, I try to put two babyfaces and two heels over here.
No Sound: Big Daddy V, Paul London, Brian Kendrick and Umaga. None of them got a reaction.
___________________
I'll post the Starrcade '92 review tomorrow. My hand's not feeling any better, unfortunately.
3 Comments
Recommended Comments