Review: Mostly RAW from 1/7/08.
Ok, nothing for Smackdown. I barely even watched it, although I like that Rey's going to face Edge at the Royal Rumble. I thought Chavo's match against Funaki was good, that was the only thing I watched in its entirety. Also, I like the "Edge Heads" gimmick, although the shorter guy doesn't seem to be a very good wrestler. That's all I have to say.
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So, the first show I watched in its entirety was ECW from 2-11-96.
- The segment at the beginning of the show was gigantically long. Like about 20-25 minutes long. First, Taz attacked Rey Mysterio. The SHAH and JT Smith came out to help Rey, and they started fighting. Guess that makes sense. Woman then came out, and 2 Cold Scorpio carried her out of the building. Stevie Richards then came out to the ring, along with the Blue Meanie. They offered Sandman a chance to back out of his match against Raven, and he said no. He canes all of them, and we cut away, to Raven at the ring. Stevie has a surprise for him, and it's that he's suing Missy Hyatt. She comes out, and then Sandman comes out, who canes the members of Raven's Nest, and joins Missy Hyatt. I deliberately typed that as convoluted sounding as possible, because, well, it was a convoluted segment. One that I didn't care for.
- The next thing on the show was an advertisement for the video tape, "Big Apple Blizzard Blast." A Current Affair was shooting footage, and the main things on the show were Sabu vs. Mr. Hughes and The Gangstas vs. 2 Cold Scorpio and the Sandman. Yeeeeah.
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We have our first match next, it's Tommy Dreamer and Shane Douglas vs. Stevie Richards and Raven. Now, the rundown of things I thought were notable.
- Stevie put on a Razor Ramon t-shirt, and threw a toothpick at Shane. That was funny, at least until Shane ripped the Razor t-shirt off and went to work on Stevie.
- Cactus Jack runs in, and tries to beat up Shane. He leaves after a little bit. See, that's the one thing I don't get about run-ins during the middle of the match. Why wouldn't you stick around for the duration, instead of getting one or two punches in and leaving?
- Sandman canes everyone, and leaves. After that, there were many nearfalls.
- When Tommy gets introduced to the match via hot tag, weapons make their appearance. Meanie accidentally gives Stevie a moonsault, and Tommy gets knocked out, on a double collision. Beulah's been out there the whole time, so she tapes a frying pan to Tommy's right foot. He then gets up and gives Stevie Richards an enziguri, for the pinfall. Time announced was like 19:something, but that much certainly was not shown. Anyway, I liked it.
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Lastly, was the match between Taz and the Shark Attack Kid. Talk about a good wrestling name. Taz wins the bout after the Tazmission and multiple suplexes, and afterward, grabs a microphone. He talks trash about 911, until 911's "music" hits. At least the geniuses at WWE 24/7 use the same dubbed music for each wrestler, instead of having it be different all the time. Otherwise I really wouldn't have understood the segment. Well, Tod Gordon comes to the ring instead of 911, and says that 911 is gone. GONE. And now, Bill Alfonso wants to fight Tod. So they do, until Tod gets the upper hand, at which point Taz comes in and beats up Gordon. BAM BAM FUCKING BIGELOW hits the ring, and chases off Taz. I knew that was going to happen because of the program description, but still, it's Bam Bam Bigelow. He grabs the microphone and says that Taz won't be able to suplex him. End show.
Well, I liked the ending, and was indifferent to the rest. The show was decent. This Bam Bam thing could be great...
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The last show I watched in between my last review and this one, was Monday Night RAW, last night. So, here's how it went.
- At the beginning of the show, Vince McMahon was at the RAW ROULETTE WHEEL with William Regal. He tells Regal that he'll be facing HHH tonight, so now, we spin the wheel. And it's a FIRST BLOOD MATCH!!!! Regal leaves the room, and HHH attacks him in the hall. Ha. This should be fun.
The first match on the show was going to be Shawn Michaels vs. Mr. Kennedy, or so it would seem. But the wheel lands on a...STRANGE BEDFELLOWS MATCH. I didn't have a clue as to what this was, but McMahon says that both HBK and Kennedy will be teaming up against another strange team. So, it winds up being HBK and Kennedy vs. Charlie Haas and Trevor Murdoch.
- Haas' gimmick blows. I thought it was funny, in the worst way possible. That won't last for long. In case you didn't know, he goes under the ring at some random point during the match and puts on a mask.
- Toward the end, Kennedy wouldn't help HBK make the tag. So HBK made the comeback all by himself, giving both opponents SWEET CHIN MUSIC. Unbeknownst to HBK, Kennedy had made a blind tag, so after giving Haas SCM, Kennedy gave HBK the "Mic Check," gaining him the pinfall over Haas. I didn't time it, as I was doing something else. Again, sorry. *1/2, with the forewarning that Haas' gimmick has the potential to ruin matches. The Mic Check is just a fancy name for a downward spiral. Also, Kennedy's spray-on tan was coming off. It looked disgusting. His skin color looked like that of Hulk Hogan, at least where the tan was still remaining.
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The next match was Hardcore Holly vs. Carlito in a "Trading Places" match. Ok, I can't believe another WWE wrestler doesn't copy gimmicks, much in the same fashion of this match. Trading Places denotes that each wrestler dresses like the other.
- I was surprised to see that Holly wasn't taking the gimmick too seriously. He had fun with it, which definitely was a surprise, this being Hardcore Holly, and all.
- Holly spit an apple in Carlito's face, and gave him the Alabama Slam for the victory. Carlito stuck around to do jobs for Hardcore Holly? *.
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Before the commercial, Jim Ross sneaks in a "SPIN THE WHEEL, MAKE THE DEAL" reference. I knew he would. Only makes sense, don't it.
Vince McMahon and Maria were backstage, to determine a match for all the Divas. The wheel landed on "Submission," but Vince moved the wheel over to a Lingerie Pillow Fight. That's not all, though. Afterward, Vince tells Hornswoggle that he needs to find a partner for a tag match, in which the winning team qualifies for the Royal Rumble.
The Pillow Fight was on after the commercial. I didn't pay attention, all I know is that Ashley pinned Jillian Hall after a flying elbow. What I saw, sucked. Hard. These are unrateable anyway.
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So, Hornswoggle was looking for a partner. Santino laughed at him. I was reading the RAW thread, and I have to agree with something Conspiracy_Victim said. Playing to the stereotype with Santino would be great.
Ok, the next match is the First Blood match, between HHH and William Regal.
- I liked it, but there really wasn't a whole lot to say. HHH punched Regal a whole bunch, and made Regal bleed. The end. **1/2. After the match, HHH gave Regal a PEDIGREE and celebrated. I'm not an HHHater, but I still think that was unnecessary. He's still putting people over, though, so why complain? That said, the product is about 1,000,000 times better than when I quit watching. I really like what I've seen thus far, for the most part.
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The next match was Chris Jericho...in what was a HANDICAP MATCH. He's facing Snitsky and...JBL. Not much surprise, there. Besides, the newer fan needs to see JBL in-ring before the Rumble, so this is acceptable.
- Ok, JBL looked a little flabby. Why is this a bad thing? I see way too much hypocrisy from Smarks these days. These guys aren't supposed to use steroids, and you make fun of those who do. But when you see a guy who doesn't, you make fun of him too? Idiots.
- JBL hits Jericho with the ring bell at the end of the match, giving Jericho the win by DQ. 1/2*. Now, JBL grabs a cable, and begins to choke Jericho with it. He ties a noose around Jericho's neck, and drags him all the way towards the entrance. He begins to hang Jericho on the scaffolding on the side of the entrance, but various officials/road agents come out to stop the beating. Ok, that was cool. And now, the thing with Benoit never crossed my mind, nor would it ever have unless someone mentioned it. I'm kinda sensitive when it comes to things like that (although not a straight out bitch), but really guys, let it go. There's really nothing offensive about the Jericho segment at all. Plus, a segment like that could garner a few more PPV buys. Note that I said could.
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Now, it's time for the Hornswoggle tag team match, as he's found a partner to face the Highlanders. It's some guy named BK Jordan. However, MICK FOLEY, being the man that he is, ABSOLUTELY MUST help the little guy. So he decides to be Hornswoggle's partner.
- The match was way too long, let's put it that way. Hornswoggle won the bout after a frog splash. Sorry, I'm not calling it a tadpole splash. *1/4. The match was too long, it should've been a Foley squash. I wonder why Foley's going to be in the Rumble. I have this feeling that he'll get in the Elimination Chamber and win, OR, he'll go after CM Punk in a face vs. face thing leading up to WrestleMania. Hell, he could do both, putting Punk over huge at WrestleMania. Or he could do neither and disappear after the Rumble, considering that the WWE would never let Foley pick up pinfalls in an Elimination Chamber match, and losing in such a match would damage any possible rub he could give Punk.
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In the main event, it was Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga in a cage match. Randy Orton's at ringside, btw.
- Ok, here's the first of many cool spots. Umaga backdropped Hardy into the cage...
- Randy Orton threw multiple chairs into the ring, and Umaga complied with Orton's wishes by hitting Hardy in the back with one of them...
- Jeff Hardy threw a chair at Umaga...but before that, he crotched Umaga on the top rope, and delivered a Poetry in Motion to him, knocking Umaga into the cage.
- Jeff gave Umaga a DDT into a chair, and while trying to escape through the door, Orton shut the door in his face.
- Umaga tried to give Jeff a SAMOAN SPIKE, but Jeff gave him the TWIST OF FATE. Then, Hardy climbed up the cage, and delivered a WHISPER IN THE WIND FROM THE TOP, which helped him to gain the pinfall, after a match that lasted around 15 minutes. Ok, that match rocked. I guess I was right about these two being able to have a really good match, wasn't I? ***3/4. Umaga's nerve hold was the only negative to what was a great match. Hardy then climbed up the cage, and stared down Randy Orton to end the show. Honestly, I thought Hardy was going to jump off onto Orton. That would've been awesome.
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This show was pretty good, and far beyond my expectations. As long as the product stays like this, I'll keep watching. And the Royal Rumble card looks great, IMO. I'm still not sure what I'm going to do with the Ladder Match DVD. Needless to say, my next "Random Thoughts" piece will have something to say about that, ECW from later today, and the MSG show from 1980.
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