Review: WWE Cyber Sunday 2007, from Washington D.C., 11/28/2007.
I wanted to watch this, just because of the WWE Title Match. The rest looks good on paper, but not too exciting.
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What in the world is this opening video? It's funny, though, as is the entrance setup. It's funny, but absurd all the same.
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The first match is Finlay vs. Rey Mysterio in a...STRETCHER MATCH. Have to push the stretcher with your opponent on it over the line, remember? The other choices were a shillelagh on a pole match, and a NO DQ match.
Blow-by-blow: This should be fun, but for some reason, this show doesn't feel like a PPV. We lock-up, and Finlay pushes Rey away. Both slap each other, and Finlay takes Rey to the canvas. Finlay knees Rey in the back, and tosses him shoulder-first into the ringpost. Finlay clotheslines Rey, and tosses him onto the stretcher, which was outside of the ring. He tossed him like a fish at that place in Seattle. Anyway, here's a lot of stretcher based stuff. Rey kicks the stretcher into Finlay, but Finlay stops that and gives him a front suplex onto the stretcher. Finlay tosses him into the apron, and begins to wheel Rey towards the line, but it's not the end. Finlay gets in the ring, and gives Rey a European uppercut. Finlay rams Rey's throat into the ring apron, but Rey comes back with a flying headscissors, and a seated dropkick. We go to the outside, where Rey kicks Finlay in the head. Both men get in the ring, and go for the shillelagh that's on that pole over there. Finlay ries to get it first, but he's not able to, as Rey dropkicks him in the nuts. Rey goes for the shillelagh , but Finlay pushes him to the canvas. Finlay goes for it, and gets powerbombed off the top by Rey. Rey grabs the shillelagh, and hits Rey in the knee with it, twice. Rey dropkicks Finlay, but gets knocked onto the stretcher. Rey gets off, and kicks Finlay in the knee, before ramming the stretcher into Finlay's nuts. Rey gives him a modified 619 at the ring apron, and gives him a somersault pescado while Finlay is on the stretcher. Cool visual. Rey tries to roll Finlay across the line, but the stretcher is caught around a TV cable. HAHAHA. That was funny. Fortunately, the improvisation is very good. Finlay rams Rey into the stretcher and charges at him, but Rey flapjacks him onto the stretcher, causing Finlay's momentum to roll the stretcher across the line, for the win at 9:45.
Match Analysis: I like the improvised finish, and I liked the match just as much. It was good, as I expected, and just as good as their match at No Mercy. Same rating, **1/2.
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Matt Hardy's bleeding on the Smackdown prior to this show was nuts. And his face is MASHED. MVP's with him, and says they can't fight. That said, MVP has a tough match ahead, later.
And then, JBL campaigns to be the referee in the match later, between The Undertaker and Batista.
Last in this run of segments, we have some Diva costume crap. Good Lord. Maria's wearing a cat outfit (very nice), and Victoria's dressed as Yokozuna. Ron Simmons comes into the picture during Victoria's little thing and says, well, what else.
DAMN.
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I guess that's how we lead into the match between...THE MIZ and CM Punk, for the ECW Title. The other choices to challenge Punk were Big Daddy V and John Morrison. Needless to say, I'd rather have seen Punk face the last one than the others.
Blow-by-blow: Both wrestlers lock up, until Miz takes him down. This is a LOT of chain wrestling to start, and it ain't that good. We'll go past that, to when they start doing things right. Punk gives Miz a leg lariat, and a snapmare, before kicking him in the back. Punk gives Miz a slingshot suplex (one of my favorite moves), for a 2 count. Punk knees Miz a bunch, but Miz comes back with a snapmare and a legdrop. Miz goes up top, and Punk prevents him from doing something, trying for a superplex. Punk can't do it, as Miz knocks him to the canvas. Miz gives him a snapmare for 2 (what kind of transition move for a pin is that), and rams Punk to the buckle. Then Miz gives him that running clothesline in the corner, which is the only thing he does that I like. Miz applies a neck vice, but Punk takes him to the canvas. Miz misses a charge to the corner, and Punk gives him a totally messed up springboard crossbody for 2. Wow. Miz was on his knees for some reason...after, Miz gouges Punk's eyes, and pins Punk for 2. Miz applies a chinlock, as the crowd chants "Y2J." Miz suplexes Punk and goes up top, where Punk gives him a pop-up armdrag. Punk runs into Miz, and begins to kick him in the face. Punk gives him the running knee-bulldog combination at the corner, and a springboard clothesline, for 2. Punk goes for the GO 2 SLEEP, but Miz rolls him up for 2. Punk reverses the roll-up for 2, and Miz goes for the REALITY CHECK. He can't get it, so Punk gives him a GO 2 SLEEP for the win at 8:51.
Match Analysis: This crowd is one of the worst I've ever seen, although that has little to do with the match. I'm only giving it 1/4* because the right guy went over, and I like Punk. That said, this was the worst match I've ever seen with him involved. Simply put, the Miz doesn't belong in a wrestling ring. He's AWFUL. I probably should give this a DUD, but I won't.
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Mickie James is dressed like a squaw for this costume contest, and Torrie Wilson is dressed as a Washington Redskin. I can't really describe how unprofessional this whole thing looks.
Now we get some leadup featuring Randy Orton for the WWE Title match a little later...although you can see how hard they were trying to push Shawn Michaels as the fans eventual selection. Todd Grisham's with William Regal, to determine who's going to face Orton later. The two who aren't chosen will fight each other next; the choices are Mr. Kennedy, Shawn Michaels, and Jeff Hardy. And the winner is...Shawn Michaels. Yeehaw.
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So, obviously, our next match is Jeff Hardy vs. Mr. Kennedy.
Blow-by-blow: Why isn't this an Intercontinental Title match? They trying to make it seem useless? I also wonder how they determine the payouts to the wrestlers for this show. The two wrestlers lock-up, and Hardy takes Kennedy down to the canvas via a headlock. Kennedy grabs onto a headlock of his own, and turns the move into a hammerlock. He goes behind Hardy, but Hardy takes him down with a headlock of his own. Both wrestlers get up, still in the Hardy headlock, and Kennedy gives him a back suplex. Kennedy misses a charge to the corner, and Hardy dropkicks Kennedy out of the ring. Then Hardy follows him out with a plancha, and brings him back in for 1. Hardy takes Kennedy to the corner for a 10 punch, but Kennedy sneaks away and dumps Hardy to the outside. Kennedy hits him with a running boot as Hardy comes in, for 2. Kennedy goes to the chinlock, but gives Hardy a quick DDT for 2. Back to the chinlock we go as Kennedy has a bodyscissor applied, and then gets a clothesline for 2. He goes up to the 2nd rope, but Hardy follows him, and gives him a rana off there. They slug it out, until Hardy gives him two clotheslines. And then he takes Kennedy hard to the canvas, for 2. Jeff goes for the TWIST OF FATE, but gets pushed toward the turnbuckle, where he climbs up and gives Kennedy a WHISPER IN THE WIND, but it only gets a 2 count. Hardy gives Kennedy that weird enziguri he does, and tries to dropkick Kennedy in the corner, but Kennedy swipes his feet, causing Hardy to land on his head. That gets Kennedy the pinfall at 9:07.
Match Analysis: I suppose it was ok, it was just a typical RAW match. I've seen better, and I've seen worse. **, but it was heatless, just like everything else.
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Michelle McCool's dressed as Eve, and Melina's dressed like a Las Vegas showgirl.
Mick Foley's in the back for an interview, but JBL says that nobody gives a damn about Foley. So, JBL runs a campaign video...it's mostly a SMEAR CAMPAIGN! Once that's over, seeing as Foley's standing next to two of those Fathead things (one being Batista, the other, Taker), he calls JBL a fathead. That was kinda funny.
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Our next match is...KANE vs. MVP for the US Title. The other choices to face MVP were the Great Khali and Mark Henry. Needless to say, Kane was the best choice.
Blow-by-blow: MVP bails at the beginning, to take off the t-shirt he's wearing. Smart move, to waste time, anyway. They slug it out, until Kane hits him with a big boot. Kane clotheslines him twice, and gives him a side slam for 2. Kane goes up to the top rope, but MVP knocks him off, and down to the floor, where MVP quickly brings him in. He kicks Kane, and gets a two count, as he begins to go to work on Kane's midsection. He pounds on him, and gives Kane a running big boot, for 2. MVP applies a seated abdominal stretch, and kicks away at Kane's ribs when the hold has to be released. Kane finally takes over, and begins to do the same things MVP was doing. He goes with some knees to the gut, and a backbreaker. He applies an abdominal stretch, and then picks him up and rams him into the turnbuckle. Kane places MVP along the top rope, and kicks him in the gut. That was cool. Kane rams the ribs of MVP into the ringpost and...MVP stays out of the ring for a 10 count, giving Kane the countout victory at 6:39.
Match Analysis: This was headed in the right direction, that being the "this is a hell of a match" direction. And then we had that finish, washing all that goodwill down the toilet. DUD on principle.
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Before anything else, here's a Chris Jericho re-debut spot.
And now, Layla talks about the costume contest, while dressed as a cop. And Kelly Kelly's supposed to be a pimp. Let's not even talk about how gigantic her tits look.
Randy Orton's in the back, and we see video of what he did to HBK at Judgment Day. And now, everyone will have to live with the decision they made, seemingly because he's going to do the same tonight.
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So, our next match is what I've been waiting for, Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton for the WWE Championship.
Blow-by-blow: Both men lock-up, and separate, before Orton gives Shawn a nice knee to the gut. He works Shawn over, until Shawn does the same. Orton ducks out of the ring on a faux SWEET CHIN MUSIC attempt, and Shawn follows him with that somersault pescado he's been doing lately. We go back in, where Shawn chops away, until Orton gives him a droptoehold. Orton grabs onto a front facelock, but Shawn reverses it into a hammerlock and tosses Orton shoulder-first into the ringpost. Shawn takes him down with a wristlock, and goes to work on the left arm. Then Shawn gives Orton a hammerlock slam, and applies a kelock. Orton gets up and stomps on Shawn's face, but misses a charge to the corner. Shawn applies a hammerlock, and gives Orton a back suplex at the same time. Shawn tosses Orton over the top and follows him to the outside, but Orton gives him a back suplex onto the retaining wall. Ouch. Orton brings Shawn in, and begins to stomp on his arm and knee. He gives Shawn a dropkick for 2, and goes to the chinlock. When Shawn powers out, Orton misses a dropkick, so Shawn gives him a jackknife pin, for 2. Orton goes for a back suplex, but Shawn reverses and lands on top of Orton for a 2 count. Orton gives Shawn the inverted backbreaker (that's what they call Mike Sanders' 3.0, so I'll call it that now too), and it gets a 2 count. Orton places Shawn on the top turnbuckle and follows him up, but Shawn pushes him down and goes for a flying elbowdrop. It misses, and Orton's ready to give Shawn an RKO. Shawn catches Orton and gives him a backslide for 2, as the crowd finally is into something tonight. Shawn gives Orton the flying forearm, and kips up, as usual. An inverted atomic drop follows, and a scoop slam. Shawn goes up to the top, and gives Orton a flying elbowdrop. Now Shawn TUNES UP THE BAND, but Orton forearms him right in the nuts in mid-move, getting himself disqualified at 15:52. Oh boy. Orton's going to kick Shawn in the head after the match, but Shawn quickly gets up and gives him SWEET CHIN MUSIC.
Match Analysis: Does the WWE understand that people PAID to watch this shit? This is a damn PPV, not an episode of Monday Night Raw. I suppose this was the only way to book themselves out of a title change, but really now. This match was fantastic, but I don't like the ending at all. ***1/4.
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Brooke is in the back, dressed as Jane from Tarzan. And Jillian is dressed as Britney Spears. So, JR says this might be the worst costume contest he's ever seen. He said it's terrible. Good on him.
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Our next match is Triple H vs. UMAGA in a...STREET FIGHT. The other match selections were a cage match and a first blood match. So, why didn't anyone pick cage match?
Blow-by-blow: I like that Umaga squashed a jobber in all these match selections on RAW before this show. HHH meets him in the aisle during his entrance, and they brawl. Umaga headbutts HHH, and tosses him into the keyboard that's on the set. On the walkway, to be precise. And no, it isn't a real keyboard. HHH goes for the PEDIGREE, but Umaga prevents it, and they brawl behind the stage. HHH charges at Umaga, knocking both men through the stage, in a cool visual. HHH rams him into the guardrail, and they fight in the crow. Umaga charges at HHH near ringside, but flies over the guardrail, putting him near the ring. Both men get in the ring, and Umaga misses a charge to the corner, giving HHH time to grab a trash can from under the ring. Umaga gets hit with it for a 2 count, but he comes back with a samoan drop. He gives HHH multiple headbutts, and a big splash, for 2. On the outside, Umaga rams HHH into the steel steps and brings him back in, giving him a legdrop for 2. They slug it out, but Umaga gives HHH a bearhug, and then, a belly-to-belly suplex. Umaga then gives HHH the running ass to face at the corner, for 2. Umaga chases the referee out of the ring and grabs a chair, but HHH gives him a lowblow, and a DDT on the chair for 2. HHH gives Umaga the knee-to-facebuster, but gets rammed into the turnbuckle, where Umaga misses a charge. Even still, Umaga's in control, and gives HHH a catatonic. On the outside we go, where Umaga peels all the stuff off each announce table. Uh-oh. Umaga grabs a chair and swings it at HHH, but hits the ringpost. HHH rams him into the table, and Umaga does the same. Umaga places HHH on the ECW announce table, and goes over to the Smackdown announce table. And then, he runs all the way over to HHH, and splashes him through the ECW announce table. That was nice. Umaga acts all crazy after throwing HHH in the ring and goes to the top, where he misses a diving headbutt. HHH gets the SLEDGEHAMMER, but misses, as Umaga hits him in the gut. Umaga goes for the SAMOAN SPIKE, but HHH hits him with the SLEDGEHAMMER after he misses, and gives Umaga a PEDIGREE for the 3 count at 17:23.
Match Analysis: This was pedestrian street fight fare, except for the splash spot on the tables. That part was great. This was just average. We know how I rate average. **1/2. That might be an unpopular opinion. Even during all that, nobody bled.
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So, Mickie James won the costume contest. Whoop-de-doo.
Now we get the hype for Batista/Taker...and the announcement of the special guest referee. JBL says that it's time for someone with talent to grab a mic, and now, announce him as the referee. Mick Foley comes to the ring...to silence. And we find out that STONE COLD STONE COLD STONE COLD is our referee. JBL beats up Foley, until Austin comes out, and gives Foley a STUNNER. JBL begins to beat up Austin, until Austin gives him a STUNNER. And now, for the match...
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The match is Undertaker vs. Batista with Steve Austin as the special guest referee, for the World Heavyweight Title. I really, really expect good things from this, given the way everyone talks about their matches.
Blow-by-blow: The crowd loves Batista, so we finally hear some noice. Batista misses a charge at Taker, and is given a boot to the head. Both men lock-up, and Batista gives Taker a headlock, before Taker gives him a big boot for 1. Taker rams him into the buckle, but Batista reverses and begins to shouldercharge into Taker at the corner. Taker gives Batista a back elbow, and tries to apply a triangle choke. He doesn't, though, but instead clubs away at Batista's back for 2. Jerry Lawler's on commentary with Michael Cole, presumably to sell the beating JBL received from Austin. Taker wraps Batista's arm around the top rope, but misses his charge at it. Batista knocks him out of the ring and rams him into the steel steps, and then the ring apron. Back in, and Taker gives Batista a clothesline for 2. He goes for OLD SCHOOL, but is unable to complete the move. Taker misses a charge at Batista, and lies out of the ring, where Batista rams him into the steps again. Once they come back in, Batista jumps on Taker's back, until he gets thrown out of the ring. Taker places Batista's neck along the ring apron, and gives him a legdrop. The cover only gets 2, so Taker gives him 2 clotheslines. When Taker gives Batista SNAKE EYES, Batista counters with a clothesline on Taker's big boot attempt. That gets 2, and Batista goes for the BATISTA BOMB. Taker takes him to the corner, but Batista whips him to the other side, where he misses a charge. Taker goes for OLD SCHOOL, but Batista catches him on the way down with a spinebuster for a 2 count. Taker applies a triangle choke, but Batista positions Taker so that his shoulders are down, forcing a 2 count that causes Taker to break the hold. Taker goes for the CHOKESLAM once, but gets elbowed away. He tries for it AGAIN, and gets the move. Taker goes for the TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER, but Batista spears him after countering, for 2. Batista goes for the BATISTA BOMB, but gets backdropped out of it. Batista droptoehold's Taker into the buckle, and goes up for the 10 punch. I know what's going to happen here. LAST RIDE by Taker, but it only gets a 2 count. Taker goes for a TOMBSTONE, but gets spinebustered by Batista for 2. Batista gives him the BATISTA BOMB for 2, and ANOTHER gets the 3 count, at 17:25. So, Batista retains his title.
Match Analysis: Hell, I didn't expect the match to be THAT good. But it was. ***1/2, for the Match of the Night. That was really fun, and had I not already known who would win, well, who would know, given the way that match went. And that's the end of the show.
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Rating: Decent. That wasn't a very easy call to make, given two complete non-finishes in seemingly important matches, one botched finish (even though I liked it) and a terrible costume contest. If I ever watch this show again, I'll only watch the end.
Best Segment: Taker/Batista. I think Orton/HBK would have been the better match with a finish, though.
Worst Segment: Costume Contest. Self explanatory.
Loudest Sound: Basically, I'm just going to list the people that got a modicum of crowd reaction. HHH, Batista, Undertaker, Shawn, and Randy Orton.
No Sound: Everyone else. Basically this was the worst crowd I've ever seen, and the WWE shouldn't go back to DC for a PPV anytime soon.
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My next up will have thoughts from the MSG show that's on 24/7, and Smackdown from last night. Should be up on Monday.
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