I didn't watch ECW, and after reading the results, I'm not going to track it down. While I understand that Shelton Benjamin wouldn't have gone over Kane after getting the better of him, why book that match in the first place then? A countout just leaves everyone looking stupid.

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First, we have Nitro from Nashville, Tennessee, which took place on 5/26/97.

 

Here comes the NWO at the beginning of the show...but really, just Hollywood Hogan and Eric Bischoff. I had a feeling at this point that these assholes in the front row with their signs would obstruct my view for the whole show, but they didn't. Hogan talks about hangin' with Nasty Nick and Brooke in the Bahamas (yes, I laughed), and how Sting's gonna be snapped in half tonight, brah. He wants Sting out now, of course, Sting does not comply. This feels like a huge show.

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Our first match on the night fits with the huge show thing, given that this is Juventud Guerrera, Super Calo and Hector Garza vs. LA PARKA, Ciclope and Damien.

 

- It was heatless, until Calo practically flew over his opponent when diving out of the ring onto him, landing in the crowd. Back leg front kicks are abound in this match...why does Tony call them that?

 

- Garza corkscrew plancha's onto everyone, then powerbombs Ciclope in the ring, and pins him after a standing moonsault for the three count at 6:26. **3/4. Very fun, very good.

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We went to a commercial, and came back right as Alex Wright vs. Psychosis was starting.

 

- Alex Wright, hell yes! I thought the Nick Patrick reinstatement angle would rear its ugly head in this, but I was wrong. That's good.

 

- We get...the DANCE!!!! Wright does it a whole bunch, but Psychosis kicks his ass. Psychosis pins Wright after a guillotine legdrop from the top, for 3 at 4:07. *3/4, cause Psychosis kinda blew a plancha, and barely touched Wright with it.

 

Mean Gene is with Sonny Onoo, who says that Masa Chono is gonna get some tonight. Onoo makes some sort of deal with Psychosis, and there's Madusa. Kinda saw that coming. She wants a shot at Akira Hokuto, and says she'll do anything. Onoo excepts, and if Madusa loses at the Great American Bash, she has to retire. Nobody cared.

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The next match is Mark Starr vs. Wrath w/Mortis and James Vandenberg.

 

- This'll be very short, as the announcers put over Wrath's karate background. I really don't know what to say about that. Mortis is on guard duty to keep Glacier away, and when Starr is tossed out of the ring, Mortis goes to work on him. Wrath squashes Starr, and finishes things up with the DEATH PENALTY at 2:34. *1/2. While this Mortis/Wrath/Glacier/Ernest Miller stuff is really stupid, I like it.

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Back from the break, with Villano IV vs. Konnan.

 

- Apparently, Konnan turned on Hugh Morrus at Slamboree. Good.

 

- This isn't a squash, thankfully. Morrus tries to attack Konnan, but Doug Dillinger and his great security team prevent him from getting to the ring. Meanwhile, Konnan puts Villano IV in the TEQUILA SUNRISE, which gets the submission victory at 3:10. *1/4. Mean Gene comes in to ask a few questions to Konnan, who says he's for la raza. Forget Kevin Sullivan and Morrus.

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Here's Onoo, and his surprise for tonight's match against Chono is...THE GREAT MUTA.

 

- Thought so. Chono's NWO, see. We get 2:12 of nothing, and during a headlock, Muta releases the hold and RED MISTS Onoo in the face, at 3:03. So, Muta's NWO 4 LIFE. Can't really rate that.

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It's HOUR #2, and Bobby Heenan's wearing a pajama shirt while on commentary. We have a paid announcement by the NWO, with MACHO MADNESS, YEAHHHH! He's talking about the Great American Bash.

 

DDP and Kimberly make their way to Mean Gene, as I suddenly notice that there's been a red carpet laid down the aisle. Is this just for them, or has it been there? I'll have to check. It's only a typical DDP promo, but Savage doesn't come down and interfere this time.

 

Ok, the Red Carpet wasn't there all along, but someone got lazy and left it there for the rest of the show. Typical WCW.

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The first match of Hour #2 is the Barbarian w/Jimmy Hart vs. Jim Powers w/Teddy Long.

 

- So, I see that Powers stayed roided up after the 80's were long gone. I had absolutely no interest in this, and neither did the crowd. I suppose it's good that a big boot by the Barbarian ended things for Powers at 3:18. DUD.

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Our next match is a three-on-one handicap match, with Johnny Swinger, Jerry Flynn and Rick Fuller taking on the Giant w/Lex Luger.

 

- The Incredible Hulk Giant doesn't have any music. Ok. I thought these would be three local jobbers, but they aren't, at all. Their triple team does nothing to the Giant, so he CHOKESLAMS all of them and pins Swinger and Flynn at 2:16. *. Cool squash.

 

Mean Gene comes out, to talk with Luger and the Giant. See, Hogan and Dennis Rodman have this open contract for a tag match at Bash at the Beach '97. Luger and the Giant want to sign that contract.

 

On the Road with Lee Marshall in Dayton, Ohio is a sure FF...

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Here comes...SYXX. He's talking about Flair, and we see video of what happened last week. A town killer for sure, given that it happened in North Carolina. Here come the Outsiders, but no hey, yo treatment here. They want to give Piper and Flair a chance at their tag team titles. They'll retire Flair, this is NWO TERRITORY, NWO 4 LIFE, 2 SWEEEEET and all that.

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Our main event is Jeff Jarrett and Mongo w/Debra vs. Harlem Heat w/Sister Sherri.

 

- A few weeks ago, this match was supposed to happen, but it was Jarrett for pretty much the duration. And it sucked. Let me tell you, this is just as exciting.

 

- WCW is coming to LA and Detroit. Yay! Mongo runs over to Greene at way too late a point in the match for this to still be going, and they brawl to the back. Booker comes in, and gives Jarrett a HARLEM SIDEKICK, getting Harlem Heat the win at 10:13. 1/2*. Really, really bad, with no commercials to spare me from the action.

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It's the same two as earlier, Hogan and Bischoff. The NWO Belt is on the line, if only Sting would come out here. They can't find Sting, because...HE'S UNDER THE RING.

 

IT'S STING!

 

Oh, wait a sec. Hogan asks Sting to get on his knees, and Sting does.

 

IT'S FAKE STING!

 

Fake Sting is on his knees, worshipping the ground that Hogan spits on. Figures. He says he wishes he could be Hollywood and...

 

IT'S STING!

 

From out of the rafters he comes, and gives Bischoff a SCORPION DEATHDROP! Hogan sees him, and he's scared shitless. He falls over Fake Sting, and runs back to the entrance. Sting beats on the fake with a bat, and here comes the cavalry, meaning the entire NWO. Sting reattaches his hook, and rides back toward the ceiling, so that the NWO can't get to him, ending the show.

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Nitro was a pile of poop, for the most part. Poor show, outside of the opening and end. Best segment was obviously the ending, and the worst was Barbarian vs. Powers. At least the Mongo stuff had some sort of angle going on, and the Jarrett/Mongo tension.

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RAW, from the same night, in Evansville, Indiana is next.

 

Unfortunately, Vince McMahon is on commentary. Boo. Here comes STONE COLD STONE COLD STONE COLD and Shawn Michaels to talk with Jim Ross. Austin says he's the captain of this team, and LOD come to the ring. They want a title shot on RAW next week if the first mentioned team win their match against Owen Hart and the British Bulldog tonight. The challengers say sure, and then, Austin and HBK argue even more.

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Our first match, is Brian Pillman and Jim Neidhart w/the rest of the Hart Foundation vs. LOD.

 

- The Hart Foundation stays at the top of the stage, like they always do.

 

- Seeing as Pillman's a loose cannon, he gets beat up the whole time. That makes sense. LOD's going to give Pillman the DOOMSDAY DEVICE, so the Hart Foundation runs in and prevents that from taking place at 4:26, getting Pillman and Neidhart DQ'd. *1/4. HBK and Austin go to help LOD, but Shawn accidentally baseball slides into Austin, while the Harts bail out. So, HBK and Austin brawl. Good post match, as I expected.

 

Paul Bearer's backstage, and Taker better do as he says!

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D'Lo Brown is making his RAW wrestling debut against Bob Holly now, as the Nation goes back to, well, the back.

 

- Faarooq stays around, for commentary. The match is essentially Holly getting squashed, which is to say it's nothing special at all. D'Lo powerbombs Holly, and pins him at 3:10. *1/2.

 

Taker's in the back, talking about how tough it is to make the decision he'll have to make later.

 

Then Jerry Lawler cuts a promo on Goldust, in which he calls him a flaming fag for his usual in-ring antics. That was great.

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So, yeah, Jerry Lawler is facing Goldust w/Marlena in a King of the Ring First Round match.

 

- Lawler gets a gigantic pop, obviously because Evansville was a regular Memphis stop. His piledriver didn't finish the match, so that sucked. Still, the Lawler chant is great.

 

- Marlena slapping Lawler was funny, as was him pinning Goldust with his feet on the ropes at 5:10 to win a very good match. **1/4. Goldust attacks Lawler after the match, and gets decent heel heat.

 

Steve Austin's in the lockerroom, where the Hart Foundation jumps him. Ha. We go to a commercial, and the same happened to HBK, as Austin goes into his lockerroom to find out why Shawn didn't have his back.

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Flash Funk vs. Rocky Maivia is our next match.

 

- So, a face vs. face match. Sure thing that a heel runs in.

 

- And here we are, the Headbangers have come ringside for a party. They're not really heels, but they'll interfere. They do, when both men go outside the ring. What the fuck? Mosh hits Flash Funk with a boombox, and tosses him back in, where Rocky gives him a crossbody off the top for a 3 count at 3:35. *3/4. Funk and Rocky shake hands after the match, to show that there aren't any hard feelings. What's up with that Headbanger nonsense?

 

Bret Hart's on the TitanTron, and says he'll definitely be able to beat Shawn Michaels in 10 minutes. Pillman's supposed to face Austin at the King of the Ring too, but obviously, things changed. And you'll find out how, later.

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Welcome to the Warzone, where guys like Ahmed Johnson and Vader do battle.

 

- Ken Shamrock's on commentary during this match. You know, his entrance music changes every week, at this point. Ahmed isn't getting crowd reactions like earlier in the year, so this isn't what it would've been in, say, February.

 

- There's a UFC ad in here, which ties into the match because Vader and Ahmed are doing this gay ass faux MMA striking shit. It looks like two retards are fighting each other. Ahmed gives Vader a spinebuster, which gains the pinfall for him at 3:05. Kinda outta nowhere. 3/4*.

 

Paul Bearer is going to come out at the end of the show, so Taker better decide quickly!

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HHH w/Chyna is facing Rockabilly w/Honky Tonk Man now....

 

- It's weird to see a face v. face and a heel v. heel match on the same show. Given the participants in this match, there's an obvious connection here. Funny how things work out. Honky was going to hit HHH in the head with his guitar, but Chyna prevents that and bodyslams Honky, and HHH gives Rockabilly the PEDIGREE for the pinfall at 3:17. *1/4.

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Mankind interview part #2...features a lot of great footage, but you just have to find it. I can't really cover everything he says. Loved it, though.

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Up next is what we've all been waiting for, Shawn Michaels and Steve Austin vs. Owen Hart & the British Bulldog for the WWF Tag Team Championships.

 

Blow-by-blow: This was of importance, see. The video's messed up a little, for some reason, but the audio isn't. And Vince says that Austin's going to open a can of whoop-ass. Shawn pescado's his way onto Bulldog during the champions ring entrance, which is when I started timing. The bell rings a bit after, when they get in the ring. Austin knees and elbowdrops Owen three times, before going for the SHARPSHOOTER. Bulldog keeps that from happening, and Austin goes to the 2nd, giving Owen another elbowdrop, which gets a 2 count. Shawn tags in, and goes up top, giving Owen an axhandle on the way down. He goes to punch Bulldog and grabs onto Owen's arm, but Owen reverses the hold and gouges Shawn in the eye. Bulldog tags in and shoulderblocks Shawn, but Shawn pokes him in the eye when he tries again, and gives Bulldog a hurricanrana. He beats on the champions, and gives Bulldog an enziguri for 2. Austin tags in, and kicks Bulldog right in the nuts as the ref is distracted. Austin tags Shawn in after choking Bulldog, but he tags right back in after about 2 seconds. Austin armwrings Bulldog, but Owen comes in to stop that, and after a Bulldog clothesline, Owen gets tagged in. He dumps Austin to the outside, and drops him throat-first along the guardrail. The rest of the Hart Foundation, save Bret, comes closer to the ring, and we go to a

 

COMMERCIAL BREAK.

 

Owen has Austin in a chinlock when we come back, which will end all ***** talk if there's another. Austin powers out and gives Owen a shoulderblock, but when he tries to do it again, Owen puts him in a sleeper. Austin gives him a jawbreaker, and here comes Shawn and Bulldog. Shawn gives Bulldog the flying forearm and kips up, before giving Bulldog a dropkick. Shawn runs the ropes again, but Bulldog has him up in gorilla press position, where he THROWS Shawn nut first into the top rope. Holy fuck, I bet that hurt. Owen slams Shawn into the post, and brings him back in afterward, where Bulldog pokes him in the eye. Bulldog slingshots Shawn into a turnbuckle for 2, and whips him into another turnbuckle where Shawn goes upside down. Bulldog then picks Shawn up, and gives him a running powerslam for 2, as Austin breaks the cover. Owen switches in, adn gives Shawn a gutwrench suplex and legdrop for 2. Owen goes to a chinlock, and *****'s are gone. Shawn powers out and gives Owen a shoulderblock, but when he tries it again he's given a belly-to-belly suplex for 2. Shawn gives Owen a sunset flip, but the referee is distracted, so it only gets a 2 count. Bulldog comes in with a clothesline, and a legdrop for a 2 count, prior to applying a front facelock. Owen comes in during a fake tag in which Austin distracts the official, and places Shawn on the top rope. Shawn knocks Owen off, and gives him a crossbody, which only gets a 2 count. When Owen gets up, he quickly gives Shawn a spinning heel kick, but misses a charge at Shawn, which gives him the opportunity to tag Austin. When Austin gets in, he cleans house. HOUSE. He tries to give Bulldog a STUNNER after the beatdowns, but Owen prevents that from happening. Shawn hops in and gives Bulldog SWEET CHIN MUSIC, which allows Austin to cover Bulldog at 10:28, for the Tag Titles. New champions! The Harts run into the ring and jump Shawn, but Bret's still at the top of the stage. Austin pretty much says, "forget Shawn, cause he didn't help me earlier," so he goes and attacks Bret's knee. He pounds on it, until the cavalry arrives to help Bret, not even thinking about following Austin to the back. So, now you know how they got out of Bret vs. Shawn at King of the Ring.

 

Match Analysis: That was one of the most action packed matches I've ever seen. The action was so fast that my hand started hurting, and that hasn't happened to me yet since I've been writing. Anyway, ****1/2. 1/4 off for the two chinlocks, and 1/4 off for the finish that came a little too quick after the hot tag for my taste. Still, you must watch this match. Great booking, great pace, great wrestling. Great everything.

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After, Austin tells the video camera that he did this all by himself, and when HBK comes in, they argue. Winning titles didn't change a thing.

 

Paul Bearer's finally in the ring, with Vince McMahon. Taker's time is up, so he's talking. He tells the crowd that when Taker's parents died, there were three graves. And that's enough to bring Taker to the ring, in a hurry. Taker hates Bearer, and says that Bearer won't be able to talk once he's done with him. But that said, he has to kneel before Bearer and do exactly what Bearer wants. End show. Hmm...

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This was one of the best RAW's I've ever seen. Excellent is the rating you receive. Best segment was that amazing tag team match, and the worst was Ahmed/Vader. I hated it.

 

RAW was, needless to say, way better. My Clash I review will be up on Friday or Saturday, depends on how much typing time I have tonight and early tomorrow.