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Review: Saturday Night's Main Event #5, from Phoenix, Arizona, 3/1/86.

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There's a whole bunch of stuff here. Hogan vs. Muraco, The British Bulldogs vs. the Dream Team...you really must watch this. There's one other thing, too, but we'll keep that a surprise.

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Mean Gene is with Mr. T during his training for his boxing match later, he's ready to go to war. The intro to this show is great as always. As for the match Mr. T was talking about, Hulk Hogan set it up on Piper's Pit.

 

First, Mean Gene is with Bob Orton and Roddy Piper, who rag on Mr. T, as per usual.

 

Then Gene is with Mr. T, who doesn't care about Roddy Piper at all.

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At this point, I think it's obvious what the next match is going to be. It's Mr. T vs. Boxing Bob Orton in a 10 round boxing match.

 

Blow-by-blow: If you think I'm going to review this seriously, I'm not. Mr. T using "Eye of the Tiger" as his entrance music was a nice touch. At the beginning, this looks better than the match this was used as set up for. Jesse Ventura says something about how Vince's ancestry (Irish) doesn't mean he knows everything about boxing. I laughed. Orton thumbed T in the eye, so there was a little break. When the bell to end the first round rang, Orton sucker punched Mr. T. Near the beginning of Round 2, Orton kneed T and worked on him with the referee distracted, but T punched Orton, knocking him over the top rope. That also gets the KO victory at about a minute into round #2. After the bout, Orton attacks Mr. T from behind, and Piper whips him with a belt. Jesse says this is Roots 2...nobody would ever get away with saying that now. They'd be lynched.

 

Match Analysis: Better than the boxing match that took place at WrestleMania 2, but it still wasn't very good. Out of kindness, DUD.

 

After the match, Gene Okerlund's with Mr. T, who wants Piper, ASAP.

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Mean Gene is with King Kong Bundy and Bobby Heenan, who say that Bundy wants Hogan. They have a little plan cooked up, as well.

 

King Kong Bundy has a match though, he's facing Steve Gatorwolf.

 

Bundy takes him to the buckle, and after a few chops, gives him the AVALANCHE for the 5 count at 41 seconds. You know, because Bundy has to get a 5 count. Afterward, he takes the microphone from Howard Finkel, and says that he wants Hogan. NOW. 1/2*.

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Mean Gene is with the Magnificent Muraco, and seeing as Mr. Fuji is sick...Bobby Heenan's going to be his manager tonight. The shot clips to a sick Fuji, and honestly, if I would've had something in my mouth, I would've done a spit-take. That was hilarious.

 

Mean Gene's with Hulk Hogan, who's ready, BROTHER. All my Hulkamaniacs, BROTHER.

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So yeah, the Magnificent Muraco w/Bobby Heenan is facing Hulk Hogan for the WWF Title.

 

Blow-by-blow: This is the debut of Real American as Hogan's theme music. Cool. Muraco gives Hogan a shot to the gut, and rams him into the buckle. Muraco follows it up with a backrake, but Hogan backdrops him. Hogan stomps away and clotheslines Muraco, before giving him an atomic drop. He rams him into the ringpost, and sends him back into the ring. They slug it out, and the sequence ends with a big Hogan right hand for 2. Hogan gives Muraco a bearhug, but a Muraco headbutt breaks the hold. Muraco gives Hogan a legdrop and kneedrop for 2, and that is followed up with an Asian spike. Muraco headbutts Hogan down low...way down low, and gives him a russian leg sweep. Muraco comes off the 2nd rope with an Asian spike for 2, and now...it's time for the HULK-UP LITTLE DUDES. 3 punch, back elbow, boot, DROP THE FUCKIN' LEG, but Heenan runs in to get Muraco DQ'd at 6:53. Hogan has Heenan in a chokehold, but KING KONG BUNDY comes down to the ring, to attack Hogan. He gives Hogan three AVALANCHES in the corner, and two big splashes, before leaving. Hogan does a stretcher job and an ambulance ride...Gene Okerlund will be following him.

 

Match Analysis: It was ok, but not nearly the best match these two have had. Obviously that was because it was used as a vehicle to set up the possibility of a Bundy/Hogan match at WrestleMania. *3/4.

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Before this match, Okerlund interviewed the Dream Team. Their non-title loss to the challengers on Championship Wrestling which aired on 2/1/86 meant nothing, they say.

 

You know who the challengers are? The British Bulldogs. Yeah, they're facing the Dream Team for the WWF Tag Titles.

 

Blow-by-blow: The Dream Team enter to "We Are the Champions." On most other shows, this would be the funniest thing on the night. But it wasn't on a different show, and it wasn't better than the clip of a sick Mr. Fuji. Valentine and Davey start, and Davey gives him an atomic drop. Dynamite headbutts Valentine from the apron, which Smith tries to capitalize on, only getting a 2 count though. Davey suplexes Valentine in for a 2 count, and then tags in Dynamite, who along with Davey gives Valentine a double clothesline. Dynamite headbutts Valentine for 2, but Beefcake is able to tag in. Dynamite knees him and rams him to the buckle, before Davey tags in. He works on the arm, and gives him a back elbow...which inadvertently allows Valentine to tag in. Davey press slams him for a 2 count, and after a tag to Dynamite, follows it up with a double headbutt. Dynamite gives the Hammer a kneedrop, and a back suplex. A falling headbutt comes soon after for 2, and a kneedrop from the 2nd rope does as well. Davey comes in and trades blows with Valentine, but Davey gets the best after a dropkick. Davey cradles Valentine for a 2 count, and tags in Dynamite. Valentine gives Dynamite an inverted atomic drop, and tags in Beefcake, but the managers are ARGUING ON THE OUTSIDE. We go to a

 

commercial break

 

and we're back, with Dynamite and Beefcake in the ring. Davey tags in, and gives Beefcake a missile dropkick. A big splash gets a 2 count, but Beefcake takes enough control to tag in Valentine. Valentine applies the FIGURE-FOUR leglock, but Dynamite quickly comes in and legdrops Valentine to break the hold. Dynamite tags in now and headbutts away, but Valentine elbows him and elbowdrops him from the 2nd rope for 2. A Valentine shoulderbreaker gets a 2 count, and he rams Dynamite into Beefcake's foot, before making the tag. Beefcake takes Dynamite to the canvas and kicks him for 2, before bringing Valentine back in. He forearms Dynamite for 2 and goes to apply the FIGURE-FOUR, but Dynamite kicks him away. Valentine goes to the top rope, but Dynamite slams him off and goes up, nailing Valentine with a missile dropkick for 2. Dynamite clotheslines Valentine for 2, and suplexes him for a 2 count. A shmoz ensues, but it ends when Valentine gives Dynamite a shoulderblock and falls on top of him for the pinfall at about 12 minutes or so.

 

Match Analysis: What a match. ****. Perfectly placed, with a well-done surprise ending. Saw the finish line coming, but didn't see how they'd get there.

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Mean Gene's at the hospital, and he'll relay information on Hulk Hogan whenever possible. After, we have the premiere of the REAL AMERICAN video.

 

 

Felt like I should share that. It's great.

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The last match on the card is Adrian Adonis w/Jimmy Hart vs. the Junkyard Dog, but first, Adrian Adonis is with Gene Okerlund. To say he acted gay is an understatement and a half.

 

Blow-by-blow: JYD's "Another One Bites the Dust" music is great. Honestly, if you haven't seen this stage of Adonis' gimmick, let's just say that he acts way more gay here than at the end of it. Adrian flames his way around the ring, so JYD beels him across the ring. JYD headbutts Adonis and sends him over the top, but Adonis is tied in the ropes, facing JYD. So JYD nails him a few times, and slingshots him in from the apron. JYD clotheslines Adonis which is accompanied by a 360 sell for 2, and in response, Adonis punches away. Like a sissy. JYD sends him to the buckle, upside down and over the top. JYD headbutts Jimmy Hart and imitates Adonis, then brings both of them into the ring. He throws Hart into Adonis, which knocks both men over the top rope. Adonis comes in and JYD misses a headbutt, so Jimmy Hart ties him onto the bottom rope with some of Adonis' entrance attire. Adonis chokes away on the JYD, until the referee pulls him off. Adonis gives JYD a fistdrop for 2, and goes for a piledriver. In mid-move JYD accidentally kicks the referee, so Adonis tries to grab Jimmy Hart's megaphone, to cheat. JYD takes the megaphone and rams it into Adonis, which gives him the pinfall victory at sometime between 8 and 9 minutes. After the bout, Adonis clocks JYD upside the head with the megaphone.

 

Match Analysis: This featured a lot of great spots, but that's all it was. Very little wrestling, so it'll get a *1/2 rating. All that said, it was a lot of fun.

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Mean Gene's at the hospital with a report on Hulk Hogan, the physician says that Hulk's neck, ribs, and back are messed up. Recap of the show follows, and that's it.

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Rating: Good. Has to be, with that great tag title match.

 

Best Segment: The British Bulldogs vs. the Dream Team/ Mr. Fuji being sick.

 

Worst Segment: Uh, the boxing match. Cannot stand.

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WrestleMania 2 review will be up next.

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I'm assuming you were still having problems with the 24/7 version of this show because Mr. T doesn't even have an entrance on that version - after his interview with Mean Gene, everyone is already in the ring.

 

I'm always up for seeing the Real American video - it was on TNT a few episodes ago too. However it seems my SNME stops once Muraco drops the spike on Hogan due to a VOD error.

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Yeah, I was having problems. The whole un-edited show is on Dailymotion.

 

I nearly forgot to mention that in all of the Dream Team's good matches, Beefcake hardly ever enters the match. That's a good thing.

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Valentine was the opposite of Beefcake: a solid worker with no charisma. I liked Bruti back in the day. He was sports entertainment. These days, though, I appreciate The Hammer more.

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For me, Brutus pretty much is exactly what I used to like about wrestling when I was younger. I didn't care about the action in the ring until I got older and started watching sports late at night, subsequently losing interest in the DRAMA of wrestling. To keep me hooked, I had to watch matches with good action.

 

When I was a kid, pretty much all I cared about was the promos, angles...and the gimmicks. Everything else was totally irrelevant. Brutus was one of my favorites to watch on video when I was younger, because he did those three things fairly well. Had a hell of a gimmick, I mean, a guy who cuts hair and his ring attire? Sold on that. Now that in-ring matters to me (and did a year or two before I got this new-fangled internet), Brutus seems almost useless in singles competition. In tag competition, he's ok, cause he didn't get in the ring much.

 

I still love the Barber Shop. And when he would cut people's hair. That's about it, unfortunately.

 

Valentine though...I love. I loved him then, just because he would kick people's asses and that was his whole thing. Still love him. I didn't get to see all the late 80's and early 90's stuff as it was happening, because I was just a little guy. Coliseum Video made me appreciate everyone, save a few.

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The announcers did a great job of putting Valentine over as well...I always liked how Gorilla would say something like "it takes him 10 minutes just to get warmed up", meaning you can beat on him for 10 minutes and really, you haven't done jack shit to him. He was always put over as a guy you're going to have to work on really hard to beat.

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The shame is that Valentine's best stuff is rarely seen, his heel run in the early 80s against guys like Backlund and Piper where he was borderline sadistic.

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