6 p.m.

 

• So I learned an important driving lesson. You know how when you’re at an intersection and the light has one of those fancy extra “green arrows”? Well, when that green arrow disappears, and incoming traffic is moving toward you, I found out that’s when you need to floor it and try to make your turn in one piece. Or at least that’s what the little college shithead behind me thought I should have done. It’s interesting how when you act faux pissed in these situations by waving your arms around and banging your head on the steering wheel (all while blaring on your horn after getting honked at) how they tend to stay away from you when the green arrow comes back on.

 

I’ve already figured out my death. The last payment to the house will have gone through and someone is going to shoot me during the afternoon work commute.

 

6:30 p.m.

 

• Crap, March Madness is tomorrow, sans that gay play-in game. Time for this year's brackkkets.

 

East:

North Carolina (1) d Mt. St. Mary (16)

Arkansas (9) d Indiana (8)

Notre Dame (5) d George Mason (12) Please God don’t let George Mason win. I don’t want to hear “OMG they’re going to do it again!”

Winthrop (13) d Washington State (4)

St. Joseph’s (11) d Oklahoma (6)

Louisville (3) d Boise State

Butler (7) d South Alabama (10)

Tennessee (2) d American (15)

 

North Carolina (1) d Arkansas (9)

Notre Dame (5) d Winthrop (13)

Louisville (3) d St. Joe’s (11)

Tennessee (2) d Butler (7)

 

North Carolina (1) d Notre Dame (5)

Tennessee (2) d Louisville (3)

 

Tennessee (2) d North Carolina (1)

 

Midwest:

Kansas (1) d Portland State (16)

UNLV (8) d Kent State (9)

Clemson (5) d Villanova (12)

Siena (13) d Vanderbilt (4)

USC (6) d Kansas State (11)

Wisconsin (3) d CS Fullerton (14)

Davidson (10) d Gonzaga (7)

Georgetown (2) d UMBC (15)

 

Kansas (1) d UNLV (8)

Clemson (5) d Siena (13)

Wisconsin (3) d USC (6)

Georgetown (2) d Davidson (10)

 

Clemson (5) d Kansas (1)

Wisconsin (3) d Georgetown (2)

 

Clemson (5) d Wisconsin (3)

 

South:

Memphis (1) d UT-Arlington (16)

Oregon (9) d Mississippi State (8)

Michigan State (5) d Temple (12)

Shitt (4) d Oral Roberts (13)

Kentucky (11) d Marquette (6)

Stanford (3) d Cornell (14)

Miami (7) d St. Mary’s (10)

Texas (2) d Austin Peay (15)

 

Memphis (1) d Oregon (9)

Michigan State (5) d Shitt (4)

Stanford (3) d Kentucky (11)

Texas (2) d Miami (7)

 

Memphis (1) d Michigan State (5)

Texas (2) d Stanford (3)

 

Texas (2) d Memphis (1)

 

West:

UCLA (1) d Mississippi Valley (16)

Texas A&M (9) d BYU (8)

Drake (5) d Western Kentucky (12)

Connecticut (4) d San Diego (13)

Baylor (11) d Purdue (6)

Xavier (3) d Georgia (14)

West Virginia (7) d Arizona (10)

Duke (2) d Belmont (15)

 

UCLA (1) d Texas A&M (9)

Drake (5) d Connecticut (4)

Baylor (11) d Xavier (3)

Duke (2) d West Virginia (7)

 

UCLA (1) d Drake (5)

Duke (2) d Baylor (11)

 

UCLA (1) d Duke (2)

 

Final Four

Tennessee (2) d Clemson (5)

UCLA (1) d Texas (2)

 

UCLA (1) d Tennessee (2)

 

 

Notes: As usual, I put zero thought into these picks and went with my first hunch (most of the time -- see below).

 

I originally had Villanova getting to the fourth round, but I stopped myself because I always get burned on picking a "Big East" sleeper.

 

Even though I think Pitt has a chance, they ALWAYS do well in the conference tournament and falter in the national tournament.

 

As usual, I'll forget who I picked 20 minutes from now and when watching the games tomorrow I'll be cheering for the wrong teams.