-Recap of the Insurgency’s post-match beatdown on Los Locos from last week.

 

-Show Open

 

-Promo by The Insurgency. They threaten record high gas prices. This is borderline offensive. Lots of ‘Praise to Allah’ chants.

 

-Dean Hill, Kenny Bolin and Karl Martin are your hosts.

 

-Tonight… Los Locos vs. The Insurgency for the Southern Tag Team Titles…. Two 1st round qualifiers for newcomer of the year tournament: Scott Cardinal vs. Josh Lowery and Rudy Switchblade vs. James Thomas… Rob Conway vs. JD Michaels… TV Title match featuring “Tubby” Tommy McNaler vs. Lennox Lightfoot… Chris Cage vs. Daryl Kelly

 

-Tank Toland vs. Brent Wellington

 

-This is Tank Toland’s first match in OVW in a while. Brent Wellington removes his pink sweater and throws it in Tank’s face. Brent comes out swinging, but Tank reverses a suplex and takes control. Big clothesline by Tank. Brent is begging off and catches Tank coming into the corner. Tank reverses an Irish Whip into the corner and gets a 2 count. Brent tries a sunset flip, but Tank catches him and does jumping jacks on his chest before dropping an elbow. Cover gets 2. Brent with a thumb to the eye. Tank still manages to catch Brent in a one-arm spinebuster. Brent gets nailed with the Tank Turret (more or less a Polish Hammer) and goes down for the 3 count. Basically a squash for the returning Tank. * ½

 

-Video review of Jamin Olivencia vs. Joey Matthews feud

 

-Dirty Money vs. APOC

 

-Jamin Olivencia sprints out of the back and nails APOC with a chair. APOC’s buddy Vaughan Lilas comes out and gets a chair, too. Jamin cuts a promo on Joey Matthews and company, he says he’s got friends to even the odds at Six Flags on May 23rd. We’ve got a 3-on-2 handicap match set up for Six Flags featuring Jamin Olivencia and Tommy Dreamer vs. Joey Matthews, APOC and Vaughan Lilas. No rating.

 

-Six Flags Promo announcing the match we just saw made... OVW Fundraiser informational promo… OVW Wrestling School promo

 

-Interview with Rob Conway. Anthony Bravado interrupts Conway, showing him the FLEX magazine he’s featured in. Conway isn’t impressed, saying that maybe one day he’ll be featured in a wrestling magazine. Oh burn. Back to ringside…

 

-Chris Cage vs. Daryl Kelly

-Cage gets a good amount of heel heat. Kelly and Cage swap positions with arm wringers. Cage breaks it up with a stiff punch. Cage beats on Kelly in the corner. He snapmares him down and drops a knee. Cage drops a fist and goes for the pin, but only gets 2. Cage stomps away on Kelly and then chokes him out on the rope. Cage kicks Kelly in the spine and goes for the pin, but only gets 2 again. Kelly tries to elbow out of a chinlock, but Cage puts a quick end to the comeback with hard forearms across the back. Kelly reverses an Irish Whip and catches Cage with an elbow. Kelly starts peppering Cage with lefts and rights and drops Cage with a huge right hand. Another right knocks Cage down again. Kelly telegraphs a backdrop and gets punched in the side of the head for his troubles. Cage eats boot after following Kelly into the corner. Kelly goes up top, but gets caught. Cage goes up with him and tries a superplex, but Kelly punches him off. Kelly takes to the air, but misses a flying cross body. Cage drops an elbow on Kelly and finishes him off with Nick Dinsmore’s signature Texas Cloverleaf. But Cage won’t let go so the referee reverses the decision. Cage still won’t let go AND OUT COMES DINSMORE!!! Cage gets the upper hand and tries to put Dinsmore in the Cloverleaf, but he kicks him off! Dinsmore tries to lock in the Texas Cloverleaf, but Cage wiggles free and heads for the curtain. ** I like Chris Cage. He was suppose to get called up a few years ago with The Miz, but some personal problems supposedly got in the way.

 

-Dinsmore has the mic and cuts a promo on Cage. Dinsmore lays out a challenge for Six Flags… a submission match for the OVW Heavyweight Title. Cage accepts.

 

-Six Flags Promo…

 

-Pat Buck and Rob Conway, who have been teaming up recently as The Men of Iron, have a conversation. Buck says he has Conway’s back tonight. And here comes Bravado and he doesn’t appreciate what Conway said earlier. Buck and Conway start tearing pages out of the magazine and wadding them up and Bravado is oblivious to this. Conway ends things by telling Bravado that ‘for a pro wrestler, you make a great bodybuilder.’ Oh burn, again.

 

-OVW TV Title Match

-Lennox Lightfoot vs. “Tubby” Tommy McNaler ©

 

-Joe Wheeler is your referee. Dean Hill plays up the fact that the referee held the title in the air, signifying that it is on the line. A nice touch. Collar and elbow tie up is won by Lightfoot when he pushes him into the corner. McNailer starts to bite Lightfoot’s hand, but Lightfoot drops him with a right hand. Big chop by Lightfoot. Springboard chop fails when McNailer lands a fist to the midsection. McNailer catches Lightfoot’s head and runs up the corner… ACID DROP. That is good enough for 3 and all the Mobile Homers enter the ring to celebrate with McNailer. And apparently the Mobile Homers will be putting on a concert at Six Flags this Friday. ½ *

 

-Out comes OVW Women’s Champion Josie. She cuts a promo on the women’s division, which amounts to her and Melody. So she’s issued an open challenge to any women’s wrestler. And out comes Serena and she spears Josie! Her boobs look bigger. So Serena is back and accepts Josie’s challenge for Six Flags. Her voice is terrible when she yells.

 

-Six Flags Promo… OVW Fundraiser promo

 

-JD Michaels vs. Rob Conway

 

-Michaels has already advanced in the newcomer tournament. Conway is like a mix of his Con-Man gimmick and the OVW Original gimmick. He’s a face that looks like an arrogant heel. Michaels catches him with a quick right hand after ducking a tie up. Conway starts chasing Michaels around the ring. Back inside and Conway catches him with a big clothesline. Standing dropkick only gets 2. Michaels tries to take advantage with an elbow, but Conway has an elbow of his own. Conway does his Iron Man pose and drops the Iron Elbow, but again only gets 2. Michaels catches Conway with a boot as he tried to follow him into the corner. 2nd Rope clothesline on Conway only gets 2. Michaels punches away on Conway. Conway shakes off a punch. Michaels runs into the ropes only to be caught in a powerslam. Conway goes for the Ego Trip, but out comes Bravado and we’ve got a DQ. Bravado and Michaels put the boots to Rob Conway, but Pat Buck quickly comes to the save. * ½

 

-Conway has the mic and makes a match for Six Flags… The Men of Iron vs. Anthony Bravado and JD Michaels.

 

-Six Flags Promo… Upcoming OVW Live Events

 

-Igotta Brewski tells us about the bar fights and midget tosses he’s won. Seriously, can’t he just be “The Polish Bar Fighter” Generic Polishnameski instead of some stupid gimmick name? He’s not a bad power wrestler, but you can’t take him seriously with that name.

 

-Newcomer of the Year Qualifying Match

-James Thomas vs. Rudy Switchblade

 

-Thomas wants a test of strength and clotheslines Rudy when he goes for it. Thomas whips Switchblade into the corner and follows him in with a huge avalanche. Suplex by Thomas only gets 2. Apparently Rudy Switchblade forgot the spot because Thomas awkwardly runs into the corner with a kneelift. Now to the other corner where Switchblade leapfrogs Thomas and takes the advantage. Rudy dropkicks a seated Thomas in the face. I love that spot. Rudy to the top… frogsplash to the back gets the win for Rudy Switchblade. * ½

 

-Six Flags Promo. I just checked the OVW Website to see how to spell Vaughan Lilas’s name and I’ve now noticed that his name is spelled ‘Vaugh’ in the promo graphic. Yea bush league production.

 

-Newcomer of the Year Qualifying Match

-Josh Lowry vs. Scott Cardinal

 

-Cardinal dresses like CM Punk from his early OVW days. Armdrags and hip tosses get the advantage for Lowry. Thumb to the eye by Cardinal to take the advantage. Big slam by Cardinal. Cardinal follows Lowry into the corner, but Lowry moves! Cardinal gets whipped from corner to corner 3 times. Running cross body gets 2 for Lowry. Lowry puts his head down early and eats boot. Irish Whip reversal has Lowry trying for a roll-up, but Cardinal has the ropes. Cardinal catches Lowry with a sick superkick and gets the 3 count. * ¾

 

-Six Flags Promo… Also worth noting it that Dean Hill almost says WWF.

 

-OVW Southern Tag Team Title Match

-The Insurgency vs. Los Locos ©

 

-The challengers come out first waving the Iraqi flag. Tag titles are on the line! Ali and Ramon start. Tie-up won by Ramon. Quick tag by Los Locos. Raul comes in and works the arm. Tag by the Insurgency. Raul gets back into control with a hip toss. Ramon tags back in and Los Locos hit a double hiptoss on Omar. Ramon goes for the pin but only gets 2. Another quick tag by Los Locos. Raul gets caught with a cheap shot and Ali tags back in. Raul ducks and takes the advantage and goes back to work on the arm. Another tag by Los Locos brings on a double team elbow on Ali. Another tag by Los Locos. This is good, solid tag team wrestling. Raul is once again the legal man. Ramon holds up Ali in a waistlock and Raul comes off the 2nd rope with a clothesline. Raul goes for the pin, but Omar comes in to distract referee Ray Ramsey. In comes Bin Hamin and nails Raul across the back with the Iraqi flag. Ramsey turns around to see Omar pinning Raul. 1…2…3… we’ve got new Southern Tag Team Champions. Kenny Bolin says this will bring gas prices back down. ** Had a good start, but then completely rushed the finish. Could one of the Newcomer matches not have been saved for next week?

 

-Raul has the mic. I bet we’re about to set up another match for Six Flags. Raul invokes the automatic rematch clause that is in every title match contract. When do they want their rematch? Friday May 23rd at Six Flags, of course.

 

-So here is the card for the first Six Flags show of the summer, as created this past Saturday on OVW TV:

 

Main Event Handicap Match

Jamin Olivencia & Tommy Dreamer vs. Joey Matthews, APOC, & Vaughan Lilas

 

OVW Heavyweight Title Match – Submission Rules

Nick Dinsmore © vs. Chris Cage

 

The Men of Iron vs. JD Michaels & Anthony Bravado

 

OVW Women’s Title Match

Josie © vs. Serena

 

OVW Tag Team Title Match

The Insurgency © vs. Los Locos

 

Special Concert by The Mobile Homers

 

 

The End Result – Basically a typical last TV show before the big live event. Why they didn’t bother to set up any matches before tonight, I have no idea. All the wrestlers just decided that “Hey, we’ve got a big card coming up in a week, I challenge YOU!” And Tommy Dreamer’s appearance at Six Flags has been promoted for about a month now, so it was no surprise when Jamin Olivencia named him as his surprise tag partner. The Newcomer of the Year Tournament seems like an excuse to fill time on the OVW show with Derby City Wrestling guys who have no business (except for maybe Scott Cardinal) being on the main show.