I watched this first, because I had some stuff to do. Couldn't fit Nitro in my 100 minute period. Raw's from Bethlehem, Pennsylvania.

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Hat Guy sighting! The Hart Foundation comes out, with Bret's newfound Federation Gold. We see a video from SummerSlam...where Shawn Michaels hit The Undertaker with a chair on accident. Bret wants Shawn to leave the Fed because he showed favoritism against him. Now, about the Patriot last week, that was a fluke. Bret then says that Pillman will not wear a dress, before showing the clip of Owen 3:16. We then see that Sgt. Slaughter is the new commissioner, who says that Bret Hart will defend his title against The Patriot at Ground Zero. Bulldog's gonna face Shamrock soon too. And Pillman's gonna wear a dress tonight. And Owen will get a rematch against Austin...only it'll be WHEN STONE COLD SAYS SO. Austin comes out RIGHT NOW, and he says so right now. Right now! He's gonna open a can of whoopass.

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The Nation talk about the triple threat between Faarooq, Savio Vega, and Crush at Ground Zero, and then we've got Ken Shamrock vs. Kama Mustafa w/NOD.

 

- 4 on 1. Well, until Slaughter came out and removed the Nation from ringside. So much for that. It's really a mess of a match. Two of the Boricuas come out and suplex Kama on the floor, so when Kama gets tossed in, he is given a belly-to-belly and loses to Shamrock at 3:03. DUD. Kama gives chase to Los Boricuas...

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After the SummerSlam replay video (paying for a PPV replay is D-U-M-B)...we've got a Brakus vignette. LOL.

 

Sunny then comes out (uh, yeah. Words do not describe.) to be our ring announcer for Taka Michinoku vs. Brian Christopher.

 

- I've been waiting for this matchup. It was bound to come sooner or later. Lawler's commentary is either really funny, or really awful. It's all up to you. Christopher goes to the rolling suplexes, but gets rolled up by Taka at 3:27 before the third attempt. That's too bad! Christopher puts the boots to Taka afterwards, and tosses him out like a piece of trash. **.

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Slaughter hands Pillman his dress, and tells Pillman that he'll wrestle in it until he wins on RAW. Some commish!

 

Now, we've got HHH w/Chyna vs. Vader w/Paul Bearer.

 

- Paul Bearer is in the back, running down Chyna before Vader makes his entrance.

 

- He trips HHH while HHH is running the ropes, so Chyna gives him a dropkick. Then we have a double countout at 2:13. 3/4*. Not very fun.

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The Patriot is going to face The Sultan w/The Iron Sheik...

 

- The Patriot cut a promo about Ground Zero before the match...Sultan's gimmick fits well with the Patriot, I'd say. A Patriot full nelson slam finishes at 1:45. *. After the match, the Hart Foundation come down. BUT, Slaughter stops the rest, leaving Bret by his lonesome, oblivious to the fact that he has no backup. Patriot attacks Bret when Bret turns his back...heh.

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We're in the WARZONE, and Shawn Michaels opens that up by making his way to the ring. He knows that everyone's blaming him, so now, he's going to blame everyone else for everything. Vince asks Shawn if he's in league with Bret Hart, so Shawn calls him a dumb son of a bitch. Once he did that, Vince announced Shawn vs. Taker for Ground Zero. Ha! Shawn's fine with it, because he's not going to lay down for the Deadman. The lights go out...and there's the Undertaker. Lights on, and Shawn's gone. Not a surprise. It's time to stop talking and kick ass. That's what he said. Paul Bearer shows up on the TitanTron, and damns Taker to hell. Kane's coming. YES HE IS.

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Ahmed Johnson w/The Nation is supposed to face Chainz w/DOA.

 

- In the back, we learn that the doctors will not clear Austin to wrestle tonight. Slaughter comes down to remove the extras...but Los Boricuas come down later, to steal Chainz's bike. That distracts him enough, allowing Ahmed to give him a PEARL RIVER PLUNGE for the victory at 2:11. 1/2*. After the match, Faarooq and the rest of the Nation attacks AHMED. WHAT? Sorry, that makes no sense. He's only been with them for three or four shows.

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The Godwinns vs. The Headbangers is up next...

 

- Damnit, I hate this matchup. Dude Love is going to face Owen Hart instead of Austin facing Owen. Henry's going to SLOP DROP Thrasher, and Phineas pins him at 3:51. *1/4.

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Goldust comes out with Marlena...to watch Brian Pillman face Bob Holly.

 

- Of course, Pillman's wearing a dress. Pretty large "faggot" chant erupts...those weren't such politically correct times. He's wearing a thong underneath his dress, unfortunately. And when Goldust distracts Pillman, Pillman gets counted out at 2:24. *.

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Owen Hart vs. Dude Love is our main event...

 

- Bret's out for commentary, btw. I can't ever get enough Owen...or Foley. Mick has a nasty bruise on his right arm, I should mention.

 

- The match isn't very good. Vince wants to know why Lawler and Bret are buddy-buddy now, but that can't be answered.

 

- After a commercial, we come back with, well, somewhat of a bore. Just not what I expected. Bulldog comes to the ring, so Slaughter is distracted. Bret then rams Love into the post, allowing Owen to apply the SHARPSHOOTER back in the ring. Austin walks down, grabs one of Owen's SLAMMIES, and hits Owen with it. Dude picks up the pinfall victory at 8:25. *3/4. Once the match is over, Dude gets molested in the corner. End show!

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The show was bad. Too many short matches, too many not very good matches. Best segment was Taka vs. Brian Christopher (seriously), and the worst was The Nation of Domination's turn on Ahmed. I don't understand that one.

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Not only is Nitro three hours long, it's also from Detroit, Michigan.

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Hollywood Hogan opens the show by coming down to the ring...he honestly looks sad to be jobbing later on. Anyway, the painted on beard is gone as well.

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Mortis w/James Vandenberg vs. Curt Hennig is going to open...

 

- Sounds good to me. It's not that bad, but it's too damn short. The HENNIG-PLEX finishes at 3:46. *3/4.

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Now, after a Sting video, we've got Dean Malenko and Jeff Jarrett w/Debra facing Hector and Chavo Guerrero.

 

- Chavo and Dean's gear is too similar. A Malenko TEXAS CLOVERLEAF makes Hector tap out at 4:51. *1/2.

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Mean Gene is with Stevie Richards and Raven...well, Stevie has a contract for Raven to sign. That shit won't fly. Raven spits on Stevie and slaps him, but Stevie catches Raven's hand before Raven can punch him. He doesn't want to be treated like this anymore.

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The Giant is going to face Lenny Lane, Joey Maggs, and Scott D'Amore in a handicap match...

 

- Big time lolz here. The Giant CHOKESLAMS all of them, and pins all of them at 1:35. Savage and Liz come out, and the Giant gives chase before the commercial.

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After a Luger video, we've got High Voltage vs. Public Enemy.

 

- Oh man, not this match again. I hate it. Of course it's formula, but in-offensive. I just hate both teams.

 

- Rocco Rock flies through a table, but when Rage accidentally hits Kaos, Public Enemy picks up the victory after a Grunge rollup at 5:12. *1/2. After the match, Kaos hits Grunge with a piece of the table that Rock flew through.

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Alex Wright interrupts the Nitro Girls routine with some dancing of his own...before talking to Gene Okerlund. Only talks about his rematch against Jericho at Road Wild, before heading to the ring to face Scotty Riggs.

 

- Thank goodness that the American Males music was lost. No more. Wright hits a missile dropkick for the victory at 3:44. *3/4.

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Hour #2...Lex Luger interview time. These interviews are sucking up the extra hour. I don't care for them, but this is a good promo.

 

Now, Vincent is going to face Booker T w/Stevie Ray.

 

- You know, Harlem Heat kicked Vincent's ass a month or so ago. That explains all this. Soon as could be, a Harlem Sidekick gives Booker the win. Only went 48 seconds. Afterwards, Harlem Heat kick his ass again. DUD.

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Gene's now with DDP, who really says some bad stuff about Ric Flair because he associates with the likes of Curt Hennig. Anyone who hangs out with Curt Hennig is just as bad as Curt Hennig, in Page's eyes.

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The Barbarian is going to face Wrath...

 

- This will suuuck. Well, actually, it don't. Wrath's DEATH PENALTY gets the victory at 2:58. Meng comes out, making Wrath leave. Throwaway. *.

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Mean Gene is with the Steiners...who are accompanied by Ted DiBiase! Whoa. Ted says that he needed to look at the big picture. The New World Order isn't wrestling. He said they'd win the World Wrestling...oops. He was about to say something he shouldn't have. Anyway, the Outsiders come down the aisle and say that DiBiase didn't understand the whole NWO 4 LIFE thing. He'll soon see the error of his ways.

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Psychosis is going to face Konnan right now.

 

- This is part of Konnan's mission to take down the luchadors. Psychosis was very sloppy, but this was short. Konnan made him tap to the TEQUILA SUNRISE at 1:48. 1/2*. This shit sucks...the matches are too goddamn short. Rey Mysterio crutches his way to the ring...but when Konnan turned his back because he thought Rey was actually hurt, Rey hit him in the back with a crutch. Ha. Playing possum.

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Ernest Miller and Glacier vs. Silver King and Damien

 

- Finally, a decent length match. Or at least I thought it would be. A Miller spin kick off the top onto Damien gets the win at 3:25. Damn. *1/2.

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Bischoff appears, with a microphone. He says that Larry Z and The Giant were totally out of line. Not only that, but he wants JJ Dillion to come out. He says that Dillon should keep the Giant from touching him.

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Hour #3 begins, with Diamond Dallas Page vs. Ric Flair.

 

- Curt Hennig gives Flair some dap before the match, then we begin. Surprised to see this of all things given away. Hennig goes out after a DDP powerbomb to Flair, just to marinate. Then we have a commercial.

 

- The FIGURE-FOUR was on, but Page made it to the ropes. There was a stupid segment where DDP pinned Hennig while having the figure-four on Flair. Hennig has brass knux, but Page takes them. Then he hits both Hennig and Flair, leading to the DQ at 7:32. Page fends them all off on the attack, which is great. **1/4. FINALLY, a match with length.

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Now, we've got Hector Garza and Lizmark Jr. vs. Villano IV & V.

 

- Boy, am I glad that I was so eagerly awaiting this. Dive sequenece of course...then the Villano's switch before getting pinned, and Villano IV cradles Lizmark at 4:52. **.

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Mean Gene is with JJ Dillon...AGAIN. Goodness. They're talking about Sting, who soon enters the ring. Dillon wants him to sign a contract to face Curt Hennig. HA! Needless to say, Sting doesn't like that. He rips up the contract, and leaves.

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About fuckin' time. It's Lex Luger vs. Hollywood Hogan for the WCW Championship.

 

- Hogan hasn't wrestled on Nitro since I GOT THIS CHANNEL. Seriously. Crowd is not the most rowdy, which is unfortunate.

 

- After the break, we learn that Hogan hit Luger with a chair during the break. Hogan DROPS THE LEG, but Luger kicks out. After some Luger clotheslines, Hall runs in. He gets clotheslined. Nash and Savage run in. Luger gives Savage a gutshot, and tosses him into Nash, knocking both Nash and Savage to the floor. RACK on Hogan, and we've got...A NEW WCW CHAMPION, at 8:58 (shown). **. All of WCW comes out and celebrates with Luger in the ring. Not a REALLY huge pop, but the pop was still sizeable. WCW did well here.

 

- Luger held the title upside down the whole time. Now, after some words from the commentary team, we go to the back. They're doing the whole champagne thing, and cleaning the NWO letters off of the title. I like that. The NWO is really pissed off, and Hogan wants his rematch in Sturgis.

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Of course, Hogan will win the title back in "6 days," but the title win doesn't make a grating 140 minutes good all of a sudden. The show was bad. Best segment was the title win...worst was, well, take your pick. Lots of shit to choose from. I'll go with ALL THE INTERVIEWS. RAW was better.

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Great American Bash 1992 review should be up soon. I have a long time to finish it.