OVW TV Report for June 7, 2008

-Show Open

-Dean Hill and Kenny Bolin are the hosts

-Tonight… Tommy McNaler defends the TV Title against JD Michaels… OVW Southern Tag Titles will be defended… Scott Cardinal in action… The Insurgency vs. The Mobilehomers… Serena has an interview… Joey Matthews faces Ted McNaler… Igotta Brewski vs. Dirty Money

-Chris Cage is in the ring with a mic. He talks about how awesome he is. He’s beat Nick Dinsmore (he didn’t) and Elijah Burke (he didn’t) and since he’s done that, he’s king of the mountain and nobody can knock him off. So now he’s issued an open challenge. The lights go out and here is Jacob Duncan. He delivers a massive chokeslam on Cage. Jacob Duncan accepts Chris Cage’s open challenge for Six Flags on Friday the 13th.

Igotta Brewski vs. Dirty Money

-Brewski kinda looks like Hercules. Money tries to get an early jump, but Brewski is all hopped on beer. Brewski delivers a big headbutt to Money’s chest. Huge Punge, or the Last Call as it is called here, end things quickly. DUD. Total squash.

-Six Flags promo… OVW Fundraiser info…

Ted “The Trailer” McNaler vs. Joey Matthews

-How the hell are the Mobilehomers so over? Joey Matthews comes out and goes right to work. McNaler tries to be quick, but gets a boot to the face from Matthews. The Trailer drags Matthews to the outside. He tries to chop Matthews, but Joey ducks and McNaler chops the ring post. Ted McNaler tries to climb back in the ring, but Joey Matthews comes over and kicks him off the apron. He’s been out of about 2 ten counts. McNaler tries again to get in, but Matthews punches him off the apron. He’s another 7 ten counts. Joey tries to knock him off the apron again, but McNaler catches him with a shoulder to the gut. McNaler goes to work on Matthews, but Matthews tosses outside. The Trailer is back in with fists flying, but Matthews again tosses him out. McNaler back in, but he gets thrown out again. McNaler to the top rope… Joey Matthews ducked the cross body. Double-Arm DDT on McNaler. The crowd chants “one more time”. Matthews gets the win. DUD, but it did further the fact that Joey Matthews is a dick, if you didn’t know. Looks like the crowd is getting their wish, as Joey picks up The Trailer and drops him again with a Double-Arm DDT.

-Backstage Anthony Bravado is still looking at his magazine. Here is Bin Hamin to request his services. Apparently Omar has moved on from OVW, because The Insurgency needs a replacement for the six man tag match at Six Flags. So this Friday we’ve got The Men of Iron and Paul Birchill vs. Ali, Turcan Celik and Anthony Bravado.

-Six Flags promo… OVW Live Events…

-Backstage, Rudy Switchblade gets congratulated for winning the OVW Newcomer of the Year.

-In the ring is the DCW guy known as Richard Cranium (Dick Head, get it?). Serena and her newer, bigger tits are here. Before she can even talk, out comes Josie. And now here is Melody to challenge Serena for the OVW Women’s Title. Josie attacks Serena from behind and they both go to work on her. Here is O.D.B. to make the save! She issues a challenge for Six Flags… Serena and O.D.B. vs. Melody and Josie

-Six Flags Promo…

-APOC and Vaughn Lilas receive another envelope of money backstage.

The Insurgency (Ali & Turcan Celik) vs. The Mobilehomers (Adam Revolver & Nine Fingers Dewey)

-So we get all the Mobilehomers in action tonight. Revolver starts the USA chant. Dewey and Ali start. Dewey gets pushed in the corner, but fights out. The Insurgency try to double team, but Revolver comes in and the double team backfires. Turcan trips up Dewey. Turcan tags in and puts the boots to Dewey. Ali tags back in and hammers away on Dewey. Turcan comes in via some good old fashioned southern tag team cheating. Dewey fights out of a front facelock.. Revolver tags in and is a mobile home of fire in the ring. Revolver goes for the pin, but Turcan breaks it up. Turcan and Dewey are fighting outside and over comes Bin Hamin to jam the Iraqi flag into Dewey’s back. Revolver tries to help, but Ali shows that he has been watching Auburn football games by chop blocking Revolver down. Ali locks in the Camel Clutch and Revolver has to submit. * ½. More or less a competitive squash for The Insurgency.

-Six Flags promo… Upcoming OVW Live Events…

-Dirty Money is backstage when Scott Cardinal walks up and berates him for losing earlier tonight.

Lumpy Magoo vs. Scott Cardinal

-Lumpy is a jobber who is a nerd. Whoopie. Cardinal grabs the mic and says he is disrespected by the OVW crowd. Cardinal is a pretty good heel. Magoo looks like somebody I know. Cardinal just beats the shit out of Magoo. Magoo gets fishhooked, gouged, punched, kicked… the whole nine yards. Cardinal doesn’t even waste a superkick on Magoo and just throws Magoo down and gets the 3 count. DUD. We’re just full of squashes tonight.

-The Frat Pack are at a frat party. Theta Lambda Psi are the Greek letters. They vaguely look like O-V-W. Clever.

OVW Southern Tag Team Title Match

The Men of Iron vs. Shiloh & Sergio

-Another squash. Conway and Shiloh start off. They trade go behinds and Conway nails him with a clothesline. Pat Buck tags in and the Men of Iron drop double Elbows of Iron. Buck goes for the pin, but in comes Sergio to break it up. Sergio tags in, but gets caught with a dropkick. Conway back in. Buck whips Sergio in the ropes and catches him with a punch to the midsection. Conway then drives his knee into Sergio’s head. Sergio pushes Conway into the corner and Shiloh chokes out The Ironman while the referee is distracted. Conway gets whipped into the ropes makes a blind tag. Conway slides between the legs of Sergio while Pat Buck goes to the top rope. Conway with a judo slam… a stunned Sergio gets up and gets hit with a cross body from the top by Pat Buck. That’s good for the 3 count. Another DUD-tastic squash. Shiloh stupidly tries to attack The Men of Iron after the match, but Conway gives him an Ego Trip for his troubles.

-Six Flags Promo… OVW Live Events…

Television Title Match

“Tubby” Tommy McNaler © vs. JD Michaels

-JD Michaels’ attire looks very similar to Shawn Michaels’ attire back in the day. Referee Bill Clark shows off the belt to indicate it is on the line. Michaels tries to sneak up on McNaler before the bell, but he moves and Michaels ends u p on the apron. “Tubby” Tommy tries to keep the advantage by using his speed, but Michaels stops him with a foot to the face. Michaels is just brutalizing Tommy McNaler. Big knife edge chop on McNaler. Michaels starts rubbing McNaler’s face into the mat, showing no respect to his opponent. Michaels tries for a legdrop, but McNaler moves! McNaler tries for the Trailer Hitch, but Michaels throws him off. McNaler ducks a clothesline and starts biting Michael’s ass. Headbutt to the chest (popular move this week) of Michaels drops him to the mat. McNaler comes off the ropes with a big splash. He goes for the cover, but only gets 2. McNaler follows Michaels into the corner, but Michaels gets out of the way. Michaels works over McNaler with punches and kneelifts. Michaels is just in complete control of this match now. Michaels sets McNaler on the top rope. Michaels tries to work over McNaler some more, but McNaler kicks him to the mat. Michaels comes back into the corner thinking he’s got McNaler is a precarious position, but McNaler starts biting Michaels on the top of the head. McNaler with a Thez Press off the second rope. McNaler runs at Michaels trying for a cross body block, but Michaels catches him and sends him to the mat. Michaels climbs the ropes, but misses the elbow drop! McNaler tries for the Trailer Hitch, but gets thrown off again. A sick neckbreaker that Michaels calls the Ratings Spike ends things and we’ve got a new TV Champion. Nothing too offensive, but I hate Tommy McNaler. **

So now we go over the Six Flags card one last time…

The Men of Iron & Paul Burchill vs. The Insurgency & Anthony Bravado

Jacob Duncan vs. Chris Cage

Mobile Homers vs. The Frat Pack

Rudy Switchblade vs. Scott Cardinal vs. JD Michaels

Serena & O.D.B. vs. Josie, Melody & Reggie (I guess they stuck Reggie in after the fact, because she had nothing to do with the set-up for this match)

OVW Champion Nick Dinsmore will be in action. They don't even name an opponent, showing how little they care about Dinsmore and the OVW Title.

Pretty lousy show, other than JD Michaels winning the TV Title. Just squash after squash. These shows are getting harder and harder to watch.