6/21: Going Dutch On TV
8 a.m.
• So here are some updates to my super-wonder family.
A while back the out-of-control niece-in-law got knocked up. While she’s “seeing” someone this has all the makings of “Who’s the baby’s daddy” episodes you see on Maury Povich’s show. Now the niece is taking a page out of her crack mother’s book and applying for HUD, food stamps, etc. And this is why whenever I hear a Democrat or some “social activist” bitch about how we aren’t spending enough on the poor I want to take a brick to the side of their skull. But why am I talking about this particular welfare leech? Well earlier this week the better half told me she was going to start working Saturdays at a local pizza place she’s worked off-and-on for the past 16 years. Why was she going back one day a week?
Was it because she wanted us to put away even more money away due to the BUSH ECONOMY? No.
Did she want to pay off her student loans quicker? Not quite.
Could she be trying to save up for a big-screen television for her favorite husband? Don’t think so.
What was the reason? Mrs. kkk, along with her mother, were going to spring for a BABY SHOWER for the niece. Her reasoning: “Well you wouldn’t want to spend any money for this.” My reply: “You’re right.”
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Sorry, that was me banging my head on the keyboard. Actually, I don’t care what the better half does with her time. I told her my opinion of the whole situation and that was that. Oh, here was another reason she gave: “I want to give the kid a chance.” So buying a stroller and box of diapers will be that edge which will give this spawn the chance he/she needs? Good God. I then said to Mrs. kkk that the niece-in-law will now be coming back to her every time she wants something. After all, this is the really cool aunt that sprang for my baby shower. Just five years ago when the niece was 15 she went to live with the better half’s mother because the niece’s mother was/is a crack-whore. What did the niece do during this time? Not a goddamn thing except bitch about having to live in such a draconian house with rules like “no staying out after 2 a.m.” After three hours of saying how she couldn’t wait until she turned 18 and was “free,” she proceeded to stay at this same death camp and drunk/inject/screw her life away.
Now instead of completely disconnecting from this cancer, Mrs. kkk is about to open up an avenue where the stupidity of her niece’s future life decisions will also take an emotional toll on the better half. I told the her months ago when we learned of this impregnation that I want nothing to do with this branch of the family tree, and I guess it’s a good thing that she didn’t try to guilt me into spending money we already have on this baby shower.
Oh, but this isn’t the only white-trash loser I have an update on.
Remember my favorite welfare brood? Well it turns out the matriarch is knocked up again. Now you may think, “Well poor people always have kids – they can’t afford to go anywhere so all they can do is stay home and breed.” This isn’t one of those cases. The husband, who’s at least 20 years older than the wife, is sterile after having a half-dozen or so kids from previous relationships. (I think that is God’s way of saying “you reeled in your limit.”) But that’s not stopping the wife from reproducing. She BUYS SPERM and has it SHIPPED TO HER HOUSE. The then TAKES AN EYEDROPPER and KNOCKS HERSELF UP. (Previously I thought she went to a clinic. I didn't know she did it herself at home. Then again, that explains why her second kid's head is shaped like a Hershey's kiss, still cannot talk after several years and just started taking Ritalin.) Well now she’s got Bun Number Three in the oven. Have I mentioned lately how much I loathe these people? You don’t understand, I have a burning hatred for this clan.
Here are some “highlights” from blog entries past:
December 27, 2006: The family newsletter, where we learn that the husband will be soon working FULL-TIME as a janitor.
January 4, 2007: Those damn bill collectors.
April 18, 2007: Damn housing market getting ruined by the BUSH ECONOMY.
July 7, 2007: Because it deserves repeating.
The test-tube welfare family I have talked about in the past stopped over for the first time to get our old screen door for their casa. And they brought their two test-tube kids...
...Anyway, it was funny to see their reaction to our house because they were AMAZED at how nice it was. Yes, these people own a HOUSE. A house, which I learned last night, needs ductwork because the previous owner built new shitty walls to cover up the shittier walls from prospective buyers. Oh, yeah. The previous buyer didn’t install any new ventilation ducts to allow the hot air from circulating throughout the house; basically, the hot air just stayed in-between the two walls. The test-tube family didn’t realize this and just kept turning up the heat this past winter, resulting one month in a $700 bill, which I’m sure the taxpayers footed the bill for. Their house also has, according to the better half, uneven floors that allow someone to roll objects from tables and countertops with no effort. There were a few other fix-em-ups that this piece of property needs, but I can’t remember what they were. I guess those $300 mortgage payments (which they are several months behind on) proves the adage, “you get what you pay for.”
So as I sat there listening to them talking about how the matriarch of this family can’t work more than two days per week or else they wouldn’t be able to get welfare, I was doing everything I can to not include any commentary of my own. What job does this person work? She cleans her aunt’s house (the aunt whose house I attend every Memorial Day for that annual family cookout), and by “cleans” I mean “sits down all day and watches television with the rest of the public assistance leeches.” Then I heard that they were thinking about bringing a THIRD human being into this world. Oh hell no. Keep watching the Braves game, which was on to keep their kids somewhat distracted, and this will be all over with soon enough. WTF? The White Sox game was 20-14? Back to reality, the younger of the two kids says, something that struck fear into me.
“Daddy, I went poopie.”
OH HELL NO! With as droopy as that diaper of hers is, you get that brat out of this house. Sure my three cats will launch the occasional turd from one of their litter boxes and bat it around on the floor, and Dessa will infrequently pee on the carpet sometimes just to be a bitch, but they're cats. And, more importantly, they're my cats and are much less maintenance overall than a fledging human being. When these people finally left, with the screen door tied down to the top of their car and the glass part placed in the back seat (which is where their two kids were also sitting), I grabbed the can of Oust from the bathroom and started spraying the living room. Mrs. kkk and I then exchanged the following words. Figure out who said what yourself.
“What are you doing?”
“Getting the ‘poor people’ smell out of our house.”
“That is so not right.”
“Then why are you laughing?”
July 31: 2007: We liked the visit to your neighborhood so much we want to live there. Besides, your school is better and we didn't realize that if we are going to send our kids to government school that maybe we should have looked at what district our current house resides at.
September 17, 2007: Rose-petal bubble bath -- the perfect gift for dad on his 57th birthday.
I almost forgot. The crack-whore sister-in-law (mother to the niece-in-law mentioned above) just had all her Rent-A-Center merchandise taken out of her trailer. I think she's getting the boot from said trailer park, too. The funny thing is that she collects disability but yet has just about all her utilities/phone shut off. So even when you give these welfare bums MONEY for BILLS they still can't manage their lives. But yet we still don't spend enough money on our disadvantaged.
5 p.m.
• So I've had the Euro game between the Netherlands and commies and I was about to make some smart-ass remark about the cameramen only showing crowd shots of attractive Dutch women. Then they showed several shots of shirtless Russian males. Uh, guys. I wasn't saying NOT to show the women of Holland.
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