6:45 p.m.

• So yet another de-maculating moment, I was shopping with the better half for a few suits during the Fourth of July. Mrs. kkk was going on her third interview with this one place and was paranoid that with her two professional suits someone would recognize she was already recycling outfits. (Or was it her fourth interview? Depends if you count 15-minute phone screens.) So as we browsed several department stores, we stumbled upon some sales from JC Penny’s and she found this nice suit for $75. Our jaws both dropped, but for different reasons. Guess who is who below.

“$75?! That’s a lot of money!”

“Are you kidding?! You better get this … NOW!”

Now guess who was who? My quote was the second one. Yep, me. Jew boy. Telling Mrs. kkk to spend $75 on an outfit. Why was I getting wood over this deal? Because the suit retailed for $200. After I showed her the “normal” price, she couldn’t believe how expensive work clothes were. I then realized I knew more about WOMEN’S FUCKING CLOTHING than she did. Good Christ shoot me now.

Why did I know more than her on this subject? Because my mom, before she lost her mind while in Jesus school, used to work in the corporate world and I remember seeing the price tags on some of her threads. So when the better half began pondering the cost of female business clothes we took a trip to the Macy’s store – where $300 work outfits are the norm. That brought her back to reality. And we also got her another $200 suit for $40.

8:30 p.m.

• W, I voted for you twice and all but come on. Make the late-night comedy writers earn their paychecks.

President Bush has posted a message on a "wishing tree" at the G8 summit in Japan and, true to the aims of his second term in office, his main desire is for a world free from tyranny...

8:45 p.m.

• Having seen the NBA All-Time Draft participants post team summaries, I figure I might as well get off my backside and do the same.

Starting 5

Shaquille O’Neal – C

Nate Thurmond – PF/C

Alex English – SF

Clyde Fraizer – PG

David Bing – SG

Off the Bench

Jeff Hornacek – SG

Bill Laimbeer – PF/C

Terry Cummings – PF

Doc Rivers – PG

Doug Christie -SG

Dolph Schayes – SF/PF

Paul Arzin – SF/SG

Coach

John Kundla

My system? Hell, I don’t know. I’d probably focus on the front court, but depending on the matchup, I think I could compete with a guard-heavy opponent. If I need more scoring, I’ll bring in Hornacek and Cummings. If I need more defense, I’ll sub in Laimbeer, Schayes and Christie (Hornacek, too). Rivers is a solid back-up point guard. When it’s late in a game, Hornacek and Laimbeer are excellent free-throw shooters. And the last player on my bench is part of the Top 50 Players Of All Time Club.

Now there’s no way I would have assembled this team had I taken part in Cena’s draft. I’m sure I would have missed my turn a few times with the current work schedule I have. However, it’s fun to do something like this every now and then. Now the All-Time NFL Draft? Oh hell no.