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Friday bullet points

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sfaJack

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- Not paying too much attention to the Olympics, but then again I never really do. I'll probably watch a little more once the track and field stuff gets going but until them, eh. Whatever. All I know is that Phelps is fast in the pool and the Chinese are apparently cheating at gymnastics.

 

- FUCK AUDITORS (sorry, Smues). Seriously, I've spent the last five weeks basically leading our company's response to 993 seperate questions raised in a client audit about all of our 2007 invoices for this one job we have. Don't get me wrong--it's important work, especially since it's this company's second-most profitable job. But when I have to waste my time trying to track down what an $11.62 charge at a little bodega in London on some dude's expense report from March 24 of last year was for, well, let's just say that it's not exactly a great use of my time.

 

- Story of the week in Houston has been Victoria Osteen vs. a Continental flight attendant. At least the jury came back with a sane decision. The only way it could have been better would have been to award Ms. Brown $1.

 

- Cubs in first place, 4 1/2 up on Milwaukee. Times are good.

 

- We've hired a contractor to paint the inside of our house over Labor Day weekend. Normally I would be opposed to doing so, but 1) I hate painting and 2) we've been talking about painting it ourselves for 4 months now. Clearly, hiring someone is the only way it is actually going to get done.

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Fear the allmighty auditors!

 

But seriously that sucks. I'm glad I don't deal with that kind of bullshit. You have to mess with every invoice for this job? Yuck, fuck 100% sample size. Statistical sampling is the way.

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Statistical sampling is the way.

For real.

 

I asked my boss why our client (Shell) audited every single item on each invoice instead of taking a sample and was told it was because their client on the job (Qatar Petroleum) willl do the same when they do their audit in October and Shell will want to be prepared for that. Apparently the Arabs are extremely strict on these things and require every T to be crossed and I to be dotted.

 

Thus, I am left having to go through and respond to why there is no receipt for a certain meal on a particular day. It is ridiculous on multiple levels, especially when you consider how much they're paying me versus many of the amounts I'm spending time trying to justify.

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Yeah it is such a waste of time and money. We recently picked up a client that has us testing 100% of their payroll checks, at various locations throughout the state, each month. We suggested just doing a sample, but no they want 100%. Which means they're paying us to send someone to Juneau once a month, as well as various places in town.

 

Thank god the people who make general auditing standards took a stats class and realize that testing 100% of things doesn't pass the cost/benefit test.

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