The Worst Major Match Ever
Already part of another entry, I thought this match deserved its own thread:
Hulk Hogan v The Warrior – Halloween Havoc 1998
Billed as an ultra important rematch that the people have been waiting 8 years for, this is actually an exercise in ego placating that has been 8 years in the making. Warrior beat Hogan at Wrestlemania VI back in 1990, and this is Hogan’s chance to get his win back, and all it cost for this ego trip was about $3m, which is what WCW paid Warrior for this match, and maybe a couple of others, before letting him sit at home for the remainder of his deal due to Warrior being totally useless.
This match was straight out of the 80’s, with slow and plodding brawling, if what these two did can even be called brawling. Indeed, the blows that these two men exchanged were so weak, that you’re left wondering why they bothered to sell any of them, when they had all the force of a tortoise’s fart. In the midst of all the sloppy brawling, they squeezed in a few notable spots from their Wrestlemania match, the three main ones being:
1: Nick Patrick getting bumped by Hogan off a criss-cross spot, but in a very comical manner, due to Hogan barely even touching Patrick, and Patrick throwing himself almost halfway across the ring.
2: After more bad brawling, and the N W O B Team of Giant, Stevie Ray and Vincent running in to play pinball for Warrior’s bad punches, Warrior covered Hogan, even though he could clearly see the referee was still down. This allowed Warrior to check on the referee and, and stop me if you’ve seen this before, allow Hogan to sneak up from behind and hit a belly-to-back suplex.
3: Warrior hitting two double ax handles off the top rope, which Warrior was kind enough to warn Hogan about beforehand, as Warrior was heard telling Hogan, “I’m coming off the ropes.”
Somewhere in all this mess, Hogan’s weightlifting belt came into play, with both men using it, and Warrior using it as a makeshift knuckleduster, and getting a little juice from Hogan.
This led up to that spot, where Hogan tried to throw a fireball at Warrior, but totally botched it up in such a laughable fashion that the crowd groaned badly, and it was around this point, or maybe even beforehand, that pretty much all the heat vanished from the arena. Not that the crowd were molten for this abomination to begin with, but what heat this match had had evaporated into nothingness by now.
Remember at the beginning how I said the match was straight out of the 80’s ? Well, so was the finish. Eric Bischoff hit ringside, and jumped up onto the apron and grabbed the referee in a side headlock, which allowed Horace Hogan, who Hulk had beaten down on the previous Nitro, to hit the ring and turn heel by giving Warrior a very gentle chair shot to the back, which Warrior sold like he’d been hit with a shotgun at close range. Hogan made the cover, hooked the tights, and Eric let go of the referee who counted the pinfall, giving Hogan his win, his ego boost, and ending this absolute disaster of a ‘match’.
The Horace Hogan turn on Warrior, when he had just got beaten up Hogan and the B Team the week before, was explained the next night on Nitro as tough love or some other such nonsense.
So, what did Eric Bischoff and WCW get out of paying Warrior $3m so Hogan could get his win back ?
They got the single worst match in WCW/NWA PPV history, and the worst match to ever take place during the WCW v WWF rivalry. This total joke of a wrestling match had absolutely no redeeming features at all. Not even watching Hogan botch a spot in such a monumentally incompetent fashion could give this stinking pile of shit any value. I know why this match took place, but quite why anyone would think fans would give a damn about this match, when the clamor for a rematch had died out almost as soon as the first match had ended, I don’t know. Even if every single demeaning and negative word in the English language was wheeled out, you would still fail to accurately describe this utter shambles of a match.
Rating: Absolute Suck.
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