In yesterday’s blog entry, Swift Terror mentioned his experience as a Blockbuster Customer Service Representative and commented on the chain’s hard-on with late fees (I heard they have shifted their “two-days-and-it’s-late policy, but I’m not sure on this). Personally, I had no problem with a store’s late fee policy as long as I was told when the movies were due back. Look, if you think it’s lame to rent a video with an inconvenient return date, then don’t rent from that place. So you put the DVD in the drop-off bin at five after midnight when it was due at exactly midnight – too bad. Pay the fine and learn from it.

The only time I was ever late on a Blockbuster rental was when I lived in Ohio a few years ago. We were given a Sunday noontime deadline, and the better half and I finished watching the movies we rented late on a Saturday night. I said that since I was still relatively awake that I would make the 10-minute drive to Blockbuster and drop off the rentals. Mrs. kkk said not to bother with them, that she’d drop them off after she got back from church Sunday morning. With that said, she went off to bed and I went off to doing God knows what.

The next morning I woke up at around 10 a.m. and went downstairs for breakfast. The better half had left for church, and with my car in the shop I was stranded in our townhouse. Then my eyes picked up the four DVDs from Blockbuster still on our living room entertainment stand. Yep. I figured as much. And of course she didn’t get back home until 11:55 a.m. When I reminded her of what she said the night before, she replied, “Well you take them back and I’ll pay you back the fine,” which I did (and oddly enough, I’m still waiting for this reimbursement, among the other IOU’s she has put on her tab). Despite being 10 minutes late on the rental I still had to pay more than $10 in late fees.

There are two good things that came out of this experience. The first one was that I learned it was a better investment to just own any movie I was interested in seeing. If you get a film when it first comes out, it’s not a bad deal (although if you wait a while longer you can usually get it at a better price). If you watch the movie 2-3 times over the course of owning the title (including viewing the special features), then I’d say you came out ahead in the end. If you absolutely hate the movie after viewing it, just sell it at a used CD/Movie store for a few dollars. Either way, it’s a better value than just renting it and feeling rushed to turn it back.

The second good thing that came out of this experience was that I had one of the greatest conversations ever with a CSR. I entered the store at about 12:10 p.m. and told this teen-age puke that I knew I was late with the movies. I guess the kid thought I was trying to weasel out of paying the fines, which I wasn’t, although I did mention why they were late. (I don’t know why I did this; I usually don’t engage in small talk with cashiers, but I guess I needed to vent or something.) The cashier was just zoning out saying “yeah, uh-huh,” and typing away on the keyboard in front of him (which is what I would do in that situation, too, so I didn’t hold this against the kid). Figuring I might as well see if he’s actually paying attention, I then said, “And somebody’s going to get a beating when I get back home.” He looked up at me and said, “Dude, you don’t have to beat her; just have her pay for the next movie rental.” I said, “Why, when hitting her is so much more fun?” I got no response back, but I did see him looking at me as I drove off.

Oh, and I’m suddenly reminded of another “incident” that took place in Ohio just to show that the better half isn’t a pure as the wind-driven snow. (There are many stories, including the time I told a bagboy to get cancer, but for some reason this one just came to my mind.) We were leaving a restaurant called O’Charley’s, which is kinda like an Applebee’s or a Friday’s, but a few notches above them, in my opinion (It’s a shame they’re not in the Shittsburgh area). Well, we were walking out to the car and I was carrying the better half’s doggy bag. I was being an idiot and either not giving her the car keys or the Styrofoam container; I can’t remember which. But I do remember what happened next.

As we were on opposite ends of our car, a van with a couple and their young daughter had just pulled into the spot next to where the better half was standing. Right when the van door opened and the little kid was getting helped out of her car seat, the better half shouted, “Give me that now, asshole!” Like a parrot, the girl behind her said, “Yeah, asshole!” My jaw dropped, although the better half didn’t hear her say it. The kid’s parents did though. In Mrs. kkk’s defense I don’t think she knew there were people behind her, but so what? It was still funny as hell.