3/2: A Small Problem Becomes A Big Headache
• Now there’s video showing that George W. Bush knew about Hurricane Katrina and the damage it could cause before it touched land. H-O-L-Y S-H-I-T. So I wasn’t the only one who woke up the day Katrina hit and went “What’s up with all these black people standing on roofs?”
• I’ve always said people with advanced degrees are some of the biggest dipshits out there. My theory is that the more “knowledge” you acquire, the less “common sense” you keep. Now my theory is proven, what with this U-C Irvine psychiatrist alleging to have lost $1.3 million in one of those hundreds of Internet scams where a person from some noble family from a third-world country has millions stashed away in some account they can’t access and need your $1,000 or so to have the necessary paperwork done in order to get a hold of that money (I may not be accurate in how this works, considering I only read the first several words to these messages).
• Well, we can at least take some solace in knowing that whenever Mexicans cross the boarder illegally, they will get fat, lazy and unhealthy like the rest of us.
• Anyone remember that shooting at a Shittsburgh movie theater during 50 Cent most recent movie? Well, the same theater is at it again. Last night, during a screening of the Steelers Super Bowl DVD, someone called the cinema and gave a bomb threat. Thank God I live outside the city limits.
• Am I the only one who doesn’t care about that Autistic kid who nailed a bunch of three-point shots in a basketball game? I mean, good for him and all, but from what I saw, it wasn’t like this kid had anyone playing tough “d” on him. Yes, I know I’m going to hell.
• Speaking of “special children,” it is stories like this that show why I don’t go to the movies anymore. I don’t blame the theater for doing what they did (although a refund should have been given, imo) because what are they supposed to do? If you want to bitch about something, bitch about the people who complained about the kid. If the theater management would have said to the people complaining, “What’s the big deal – it’s just a kid laughing,” these patrons would have probably then bitched to the theater’s upper management, and believe me, district managers of theaters (or any other business with a lot of low-paying, entry-level jobs) don’t want to hear from whiny customers, no matter how stupid their complaints might be. In just about every job I have worked where a district manager was involved in our store’s chain of command, never once did I hear these people defend us over a stupid customer. In fact, being an asshole is what gets these people their jobs. One of my favorite district manager stories involved my time at Burger King.
The name of our store’s District Manager was Barry, and he was an asshole. One night when we were busy, I was in charge of the “specialty station.” This means I was in charge of fries, onion rings, chicken and fish; the shittiest station to work if you are employed by the King. Anyway, I had just put down a basket of onion rings, and they went on top of TWO onion rings that had been laying there for about two minutes (It takes 80 seconds to fry the onion rings, and I had been steadily dropping baskets of these things). Anyway, Barry then looks at me and says, “Rotate your onion rings.” I told him to fuck off. Thankfully, three baskets of fries had just been ready for consumption and their ringers went off, meaning I got away with one.
However, I didn’t get away with this. I worked with a midget who was a worthless piece of shit. Whenever there was work to be done, she would scamper off and hide, which wasn’t hard for her to do considering we always had a lot of empty boxes in the back room. Well, whenever she pissed me off, which was often, I would retaliate by putting the sandwiches I made near the top of the “burger chute,” where she couldn’t reach them. Have I said already that I’m going to hell? Well, for one supply order we were given these hippie burger wrappers that had zero traction, meaning they wouldn’t slide down the burger chute. One night when I was the only person making food this midget screamed at me and started to cry because I wasn’t sliding the food down all the way. Bitch, I COULDN’T. What the fuck was I supposed to do? Go around the counter and personally hand everybody their sandwich? Well a day or so later asshole Barry came up to me and barked, “kkk, I hear you’ve been picking on Lisa.” Not knowing what he was talking about, I replied, “Huh?” Wanting to get both sides of the story, this dickhead then said, “You know what I’m talking about. Don’t do it again or else.” After asking my one manager what just happened, and then being told of the great burger chute controversy from the previous night, I realized that asshole district manager was half the man I was.
And the midget was one-third the worker I was, literally and figuratively.
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