• Well the Oscars are over and done with. I didn’t see any of these movies nominated for Best Picture, and I don’t really care. The only thing that surprised me was the movie about the gay cowboys didn’t win. I wonder if that constitutes a hate crime? I have to admit though that the gay cowboy movie’s commercials cracked me up considering they never told you what the film was supposed to be about; we were just told how great it was. Sadly, I know there are people who went to see this film without having any idea what it dealt with, and I hope they got offended because they’re stupid enough to see a movie they know nothing about.

When I worked at the theater there were so many people that didn’t know what “Boogie Nights” was about, although they figured it out toward the end. My favorite customer during this time was some middle-age woman with her friend who thought the movie was about disco. You should have seen the look on her face when, after asking me what the movie was about, I replied, “It’s about the porn industry.” Now that was a money shot.

But besides “Boogie Nights,” which many people did not know what it was about. (There was one memorable line by a guy at the end of the film when he said to his friend “You are never picking another movie again.”) When I had to sell tickets, it pissed me off when people would ask me what a film was about and if I had seen it. No, bitch. I was a full-time student, worked full time and devoted about 20-30 hours per week on various school activities; sorry if I didn’t have any time to personally review the half-dozen or so new movies our place got every week. And the movie studios can kiss my ass if they think I’m going to do the job that their marketing department failed to do, which was to let the public know what their product (the film) was about. I’m sure those PR people got paid more than my $5/hour wage, so why should I do their work for them?

I don’t hate movies, but I’m not going to spent $10 to see it one time on the big screen. Yeah I know there are cheaper showings in the afternoon, but I can’t stand seeing a film in the afternoon. I don’t want to go some place, sit in a dark room for a few hours, then be blinded by the sunlight when leaving. Also, I always have to have popcorn, so my dinner schedule gets thrown out of whack whenever I see an afternoon show.

RIGHT-WING RADIO guy Glenn Beck ran down a list of movies that made more money than “Crash.” Now of course the best movie doesn’t always make the most money at the box office (it rarely does), but there’s something about learning “Are We There Yet?” “The Dukes of Hazzard” “Herbie: Fully Loaded” and “Bewitched” brought in more money than did the so-called best film of that year. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m sure these movies above cost more to produce, had more marketing and a bunch of other costs than did “Crash,” but I’m too lazy and indifferent to look this stuff up. At least that godawful “Honeymooners” movie came in at #133, so I do have some faith in humanity.

• This is disturbing: Half of all malfunctioning products returned to stores by consumers are in full working order, but customers can't figure out how to operate the devices, according to one scientist, who added, “The average consumer in the United States will struggle for 20 minutes to get a device working, before giving up, the study found.” Christ, who are these people? I get a woody if I can hook up the surround sound in a half-hour. I remember when the better half and I got our first surround sound system, it took us an entire weekend to hook up! My favorite part of this ordeal were the several calls to customer support and being told that there were directions that were left out of our instruction manual.

• God I love the Shittsburgh area. Some 75-year old lady got busted for robbing a bank. However, this is my favorite part of the story:

Police said that Marilyn Devine, 75, from Baldwin, wore a Steelers ski mask during the holdup and escaped in a tan Ford Escort with less than $5,000. After a five-mile pursuit at speeds of 45 mph, police pulled Devine over.

• This made me laugh. Under the story with the headline Sun's next 11-year cycle could be 50 pct stronger was Global warming evidence grows - U.N. expert.