This post was done on the Gamefaqs board some time ago by Endgame:

 

I should warn you, this week's May topic, like the movie it's self, is lame and predictable, and is nothing more than just a longer version of the regular, read this instead, it is probably just as long as the topic will be, and more interesting! it even has PICTURES!

http://www.worldofwarcraft.com/info/underd...odamnation.html

 

Blizzard would also never fire their workers and hire cheap work-a-likes, despite how they could save money, and increase their already huge cashflow, unlike a certain American branch of a company that's losing their touch.....

 

so, Ass recieved a lette- huh? Ass, you sound different, are you sick? you look different too.....

 

.....May?

 

MAY?! WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU?!!!!!!!!!

 

May doesn't sound cute and innocent anymore, now she sounds like a woman who's not even trying at all! DAMN YOU CHEAP ASS VOICE ACTORS!

 

little bastard's voice was always annoying, didn't think it could be more annoying, I was wrong, I've been wrong about many things as of late

 

eyeless bastard..... do I really have to say it? if you've seen it, you have ears that function most likely, so I'm sure you know, and I do not need to tell you how much it sucks

 

that lame intro consisting entirely of clips form the movie (I muted the TV and fast forwarded as soon as I heard "yo") just SCREAMS "lame made for US television movie"

 

and Pokémon has only been around here for eight years, not ten

 

ok, so the plot, Ass has been invited because he's a top trainer.....? what?! who the hell would invite Ass over any of the people who, you know, WON a League Championship, without cheap plot devices neverless?

 

and..... Dr. Young? that's a pretty lame name, and does NOT fit in with the trend of professor and tree names!

 

the script seems like it's everyone gets a turn to speak, and speaks in a specific order, and May's voice actor is STILL NOT PUTTING IN ANY EFFORT!

 

thought 4kids was the worst? you thought wrong! sure, I am reminded of dub Sonic X's horrid voice acting (Shadow's first appearance, "Chaos Control now" with no emotion whatsoever, ugh)

 

ARGH! THE WHORE! SHE RETURNS TO BURN MY EYES AND EARS!

 

Tree's voice is kinda funny, and also lacking in emotion

 

the whore..... quite honestly, I fail to hear any difference, her voice is just as horrid as before!

 

WHAT?! she got an invitation too? this Dr. Young guy is a fucking moron! there are Night Elf Hunters with more skill than those two COMBINED!

 

the dumbass comes out, and shows off his fake pokémon, they look, and feel real?..... anyone else notice how so far, he's only shown "extinct" pokémon and Aggron? I suspect necromancy at work, and who in Kanto, Johto, or Hoenn could possibly be skilled enough in the dark arts to accomplish such a thing?

 

.....do I really need to say it?

 

BITCH's voice is not far off, Meowth's voice is a little..... different, but good compared to everyone else, and everyone's favorite crossdresser? he sounds even more effeiminate! this leaves little to the imagination for Cacturne freak's new voice..... hell, NoA might make him rape the word that 4kids wouldn't even have him say: fabulous

 

.....you know it's going to happen!

 

whore vs fucking moron

 

Staryu vs Aggron

 

.....why do I get the feeling that the whole red and green starry backround thingies are going to get abused to no end in this movie?

 

ladies first? now, I know I most likely butchered the quote, but as A Pimp Named Slickback once said, "sir, that ain't no lady, that's a ho!"

 

Bubblebeam, huh? what's up with the bubbles? they're all red and glowy and not the usual blue! ARE THEY FULL OF BLOOD OF A RESULT OF A STD?! EWW!

 

now, I hate Staryu and it's cheap evolution, but even I feel sorry for it now!

 

Thunder Wave + Bullet Seed = PWNED Staryu

 

 

little bastard points something out, something..... obvious: AGGRON CAN'T USE THUNDER WAVE OR BULLET SEED!

 

but of course, fake/raised from the dead with unholy magic pokémon can use moves they can't learn like that!

 

WAIT! I just thought of something! those pokémon are generated by.....

 

GAMESHARK!

 

come on people, think about it! you know it to be true!

 

oh, did I mention Mew? I should have mentioned Mew

 

ok, so Ass vs- oh wait, Aggron is glitching out, see kids? CHEATERS DO NOT PROSPER!

 

ok, so explosions, a bunch of unholy spawned undead or sharked pokémon appear, and let me guess, next ther-

 

ok, what the fuck is with May's new voice actor? she keeps on completely changing voices! even if it wasn't May, it would be bothering me, but it IS May, so it REALLY bothers me to the point where I feel the need to kill!

 

anyway, let me guess, some masked bad guy will show up next..... yep! there he is!

 

ARGH! what an awful voice! and "Mirage Master"? that's just plain sucky! oh, and let me guess, he and Dr. Young are one and the same? that's how lame and predictable this movie is! now, as for how they can both appear at the same time, I haven't thought of that yet, I just knew who the guy was

 

you know what's hard? Super Mario 64, while ALWAYS using that camera mode that when you press R, it always moves to be right behind Mario, you'd be suprised at how a simple boss like the Big Bob-omb can become annoying with just a simple press of a button, and racing the fat penguin? when the bastard gets right behind you, you can't see! but I eventually prevailed, no jumping shortcuts or anything

 

so, everyone decides to run, now, at the castle gates, it looks like that door could come down and close everyone in at any moment, but no, it never does.....

 

Shadow Ball trips little bastard, Tree saves him, but gets captured, and the sharked pokémon can't leave the castle! sucks to be them, huh?

 

yeah, how the hell can you take over the world with weapons that only work IN ONE FRIKIN' AREA?! not very bright, are you Mirage Master?

 

god, that's so lame.....

 

MM demands Tree's password, why don't you just stick a keylogger in with some porn and hopes he download the e-mail attatchement like everyone else? dumbass!

 

 

meanwhile, no one can get into the castle, so why not attack the castle from the outside where you're safe? this isn't World of Warcraft, they're not going to Evade every attack if they can't hit you back! (when you shoot land enemies while in water, or the other way around, all attacks are Evaded)

 

the eyeless bastard runs off!..... even these writers realize he's worthless.....

 

Ass and the whore tell May to stay behind with little bastard and wait for the police? (yeah, just what are they going to do?) yay! they might die, and May is safe! sounds like a good deal to me!

 

funny thing happened, I accidentally hit w when just spelling "me", spelling "mew"

 

MM says he wants a pokémon that is Super Effective against all others, hey MM, Cipher wants you! you meet all of the qualifications of a Cipher Admin! you're lame as hell, you look lame as hell, and you're just plain fucking lame as hell!

 

meanwhile, Ass and whore..... OH GOD! SHE'S POLLUTING EVEN MORE WATER! no, the waters near Mt. Moon weren't enough! now she has to pollute more water! WON'T ANYONE THINK OF THE POOR FISHIES?!

 

fishies just can't get up and leave like everyone else.....

 

it's Mew! note that Mew's eyes are different, probably because sharking ca- YOU FUCKING BASTARD! YOU HURT KITTY!

 

May sees Pikachu's Thunderbolt, and then sends out Squirtle, and jumps into the POLLUTED WATER! no! MAY!

 

.....and god, why? WHY ARE NINTENDO OF AMERICA SUCH CHEAP BASTARDS?!

 

want to make more money? here's an idea! STOP PISSING US OFF SO WE FEEL LIKE ACTUALLY GIVING YOU OUR HARD EARNED MONEY!

 

Pikachu shocks things, and Machoke drops the whore! YAY! SHE'S FALLING TO HER DEATH! VICTORY IS MINE AT LAST!

 

how is it victory for me? you see, when the whore dies, EVERYBODY WINS! yes, even the terrorists!

 

ok, so the sharked steal Pikachu, and then Ass pulls Mew out of the evil kitty hurting aura! oh how I hate that fucking kitty hurting bastard.....

 

meanwhile, dammit! the whore still lives! she is hanging on to a- YAY! SHE'S FALLING THIS TIME, AND-

 

.....MAY?! NO! YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TOUCHED THE WHORE! NO! MAY!

 

.....I must find the antidote for..... everything, and give it to her at once!

 

but then again, sucky made for US TV movies =/= canon

 

right?!

 

RIGHT?!

 

 

.....god help you if May gets any of your diseases from saving your worthless life, whore, god help you.....

 

AND GOD HELP YOU NEW VOICE ACTRESS AND NINTENDO OF AMERICA! ARGH! IT'S JUST NOT RIGHT!

 

ok, so Pikachu gets shocked, and Tree's password is "REDGREEN"..... and apparently, lots of others use the same damn network, connected by the same damn password, my, aren't we the smart ones?

 

remember kids, use different passwords for different things!

 

oh, wait, Johto's Tree gets a cameo, but none of the other Johto characters? BASTARDS!

 

ok, so MM creates a fake Mewtwo from data extracted from..... wait, you're telling me Team Rocket is on the same network as everyone else?! they are the ONLY ones who should have any data on Mewtwo!

 

everyone, take a step back or the giant PLOT HOLE will consume you!

 

and notice how May is the only one who doesn't know Mewtwo, yet, only two people in the room should even be aware of his existance.....

 

Mewtwo likes spamming Shadow Ball, so Tree sends out..... Dragonite?! when did he get one of those? and it uses Twister an-

 

WHAT THE FUCK?!

 

the Twister..... it looks like it's coming from..... you know.....

 

call me a pervert all you want, but you can't ignore the fact that the Twister is NOT coming from in front of it's flapping wings like it should be! the animators are the true perverts here, not me!

 

BITCH! GET YOUR FUCKING DISEASE RIDDEN HANDS OFF OF MY MAY!

 

I hope this is all non-canon, and is not really happening..... otherwise..... poor May.....

 

ok, so everyone runs, then suddenly..... HE'S FIRING A BUNCH OF MISSLES! RUN FOR YOUR DAM- oh, they're not missles, they're just more fucking Gamesharks

 

blah blah kicked out of institution blah blah ass sex blah blah congress.....

 

BORING!

 

oh. MM reveals himself as Dr. Fucking idiot

 

but who is the real Fucking idiot? Ass of course! hey! Pikachu! go jump into that stream of fire and put it out with your glowy tail!..... god, what an idiot!

 

May's turn!..... ARGH! WHAT THE FUCK?! SHE'S NOT SUPPOSED TO SOUND 20-30!

 

oh, and the whore sends her "mighty" Gyarados too

 

guess what? these writers, IF they are different from the writers that write for everything else, are sexist bastards too! although, in the whore's case, you can't really be surprised, I mean, honestly, she sucks in more ways than one, some of those ways are around $3.50 an hour, some of those ways gets you a free disease riddled Cascade Badge

 

you can't be surprised that they would make May appear useless like that neither, because only Ass can save the day.....

 

and so then, Mewtwo's hand becomes an Arcanine's face, and uses Flamethrower, DESPITE BEING ABLE TO ACTUALLY LEARN THE MOVE IT'S SELF!, but Pikachu tries to fend it off

 

and so then, Mewtwo's hand becomes Rayquaza's face, and uses Hyper Beam, DESPITE BEING ABLE TO ACTUALLY LEARN THE MOVE IT'S SELF!..... hey! they're using the same damn animation for Flamethrower and Hyper Beam! LAZY BASTARDS!

 

huge explosion.....

 

Mew shielded!

 

then Mewtwo kills Mew.....

 

YOU BASTARD!

 

and then Mewtwo absorbs everyone else, uses a bunch of beams, countering failed, etc.

 

Mew still lives! and it is holding Mewtwo back! and guess who gets to finish off Mewtwo?

 

.....god dammit Pikachu, you FUCKing attention whore!

 

Mewtwo dies

 

and Mew dies..... for real this time, it waves right before it breaks down.....

 

poor kitty.....

 

and so, explosions rip through the castle, and Dr. fucking idiot walks into the burning castle, most likely killing himself

 

the end

 

.....you know, WB could have aired the eight movie that should be dubbed by now, by 4kids, instead.....

 

next week, more episodes dubbed by 4kids, who don't seem like that bad a company right about now.....