• So one of the better half's friends works at a day care center. Actually, her dad owns the place, however, he pays his daughter about $15k to run it, and by run it I mean oversee just about every responsibility out there. On top of that he charges her rent to live in the basement of his house. I love this man. Anyway, Mrs. kkk just told me that every year her friend holds a PRESCHOOL GRADUATION CEREMONY for the little brats in her center. A PRESCHOOL GRADUATION CEREMONY. I'm not sure if this includes the ol' cap and gown, but in this day and age who the hell knows. Anyway, a big brouhaha by the parents took place when it was revealed that each kid was only allowed three tickets. I don't know what's worse: PRESCHOOLERS having a GRADUATION CEREMONY, or parents pissed off because they can only have three people attend this thing. Believe it or not, I actually have a memory of my PRESCHOOL GRADUATION CEREMONY. What did I do? My mom picked me up and I was driven home. Another memory I have is taking some kid's coloring picture and scribbling it up. One of the teachers saw me do this, yelled at me and when I took my coloring picture up to show her she said that she didn't like it. I think my preschool had naptime, but all I remember is laying on the floor.

• I was just flipping through the channels and came across one of the 20 Jesus channels on my cable lineup. Normally I just skip over these stations, but for the brief moment this station was on my television I saw the words, "Mike Sweeny." Mike Sweeny of the Kansas City Royals? I put the clicker down. There's this hippie interview show with some friar interviewing Sweeny. Good lord is this guy a Jesus freak. The most memorable experience of his life was his high school confirmation weekend retreat where he found Jesus Christ? Oh man. HA -- he just said that his high school team won the state championship because they prayed together, and teams that pray together win together. I'll take this time out now to let you make your own joke about his team's current situation.

• Once a week the better half and I go grocery shopping. Now many of you know that if I don't have a coupon for something and it's not on sale, then I don't get it. Mrs. kkk, on the other hand, has no sense of fiscal responsibility, which explains why she's up to her eyeballs in debt. Anyway, she was called in to her second job at the pizza place on the day we normally shop for groceries, which left me in charge. I swear to Christ I'm as bad as a valley girl at the mall when it comes to grocery shopping by myself. To top it off, chicken and steaks were buy one get one free this week. After much coupon selecting and sale item pricing, my $131.86 bill went down to $70.15. Score one for the cheapskate this round.

• Instead of shooting them, shouldn’t we be encouraging these people to get out of the United States? Either way, I think the Mexican goverment should be concerned with the way they treat their guests south of the border before telling us what to do with ours.

• Only community services? These people should be dragged out and shot for what they did. Oh, and my favorite part of the story is in bold, especially since one night back when we were living in Ohio JJ got outside at 2 a.m. when I went to put a letter in the nearby mailbox (don't ask) and the better half found him the next morning by the backdoor crying – I’m surprised he even figured that much out.

Maybe Mr. Kibbles will know better the next time he's looking for a litter box. Christopher Cortes, 33, and wife Iris Zuckerman, 33, were sentenced Thursday to 100 hours and 50 hours of community service, respectively, for snatching the black cat from their neighbor's home and leaving him in the Everglades.

 

Police said Cortes was upset the cat used the back of his pickup truck as a litter box and scratched it.

 

Cortes, a firefighter, drove the cat 15 miles into the Everglades and left him there to fend for himself in February 2005, police said. The couple had pleaded no contest to petty theft and declined to comment after the hearing. Police said Cortes told them he took the cat.

 

Maggie Leonard, the 12-year-old owner of the cat, said Mr. Kibbles made his way back to his Coconut Creek home two weeks after being left. At first her kitty behaved "weird," but was quickly back to being his own self, she said.

Don't fuck with a cat that has "Mr." in his name.