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5/24: #100, Spending A Lunch Rush Waiting In Line

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kkktookmybabyaway

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KKK's Top 103 Posters

 

Number 100: Anorak

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I don’t know much about Anorak other than he lives in the U.K., and I don’t remember exactly when we first lovingly gazed into each other’s eyes. Anyway, for some time we constantly name-called each other in a number of threads, but then something strange happened: we actually started to get along better. We even PM’d each other a few times and had some civil discussions about soccer (or football, for non-Americans out there). And besides, for the longest time he had the cutest Avatar of some stuffed animal/puppet thing, which made reading his posts that much more entertaining, especially when he said things like, “You're a racist cunt yourself so please spare us your utter stupidity, ignorance and hypocrisy in future threads of similar nature. Thanks.” I may not know what the hell those euro-posters are talking about in their soccer threads, but here’s hoping one of Anorak’s teams ends up winning their league, or whatever it is they play for over there.

 

• Today’s lunch excursion was a real joy. There’s a Wendy’s just down the road from where I work, and I felt the need to consume the goodness of a triple cheeseburger (without the onions, of course). This store isn’t too big but it’s efficiently run for the most part (as many Wendy’s are from my experiences) but has a duo at register that is by far the best cashier-tandem I’ve ever encountered at a fast-food joint. One of them wasn’t working today and there was some other gal to take her place. You could tell she was new to the position and had the old deer-in-headlights look every time a customer asked her something. Couple this with the fact there were a half-dozen families in line and I began to regret my decision to come into the store and place my order. (Their lot was half-full, which is usually a good indication of whether or not to enter the store, especially during a lunch rush.)

 

What I hate about family orders is that the parents, nine times out of ten, have zero control over their spawn when they’re trying to place their order. Couple that with the cashiers having to put together Happy Meals, or whatever they’re called at other places, and it only adds to the prolonged wait. Then, to top it off, the parents sometimes try to make their kids order for themselves, which is a horrible idea because the kid is a) either scared to talk to a stranger wearing a hair net, or b) they don’t know what to order and you have to spend 10 minutes trying to get them to say “hamburger kids meal.” Of course, all the while these families are taking up valuable time, the customer line continues to grow. Naturally, these families don’t realize this, and the poor cashier has to deal with the rest of the herd, who by now have grown quite impatient.

 

The problem was with today’s lunch rush was that half of these “family orders” were done by the kids’ grandparents (either that or these parents decided to conceive REALLY late in life). The only thing worse than kids ordering are 80-year olds who never forget to mention that they get the “senior discount.” Not only do these people have no clue as to what’s going on around them, but also they never know what’s on the menu and don’t bother looking at it until it’s time to place an order. Also, when their order is finally placed on their tray, they attempt to engage the cashier in small talk and it takes them an hour to finally shuffle themselves away from the register.

 

Well, you couple the one cashier who didn’t know what she was doing with the other cashier who had to deal with two grandparents and three screaming demons, you can imagine how fun my time in line was. But I will count my blessings in this instance. After all, my order took about a minute to complete, and thankfully I got there before the lunch rush, so even though my wait was unnecessarily long, it could have been much worse; the line was almost out the door when I sat down and started to eat. Oh, and the triple cheeseburger was filled with all that greasy goodness that you can experience when consuming one of these heart-attacks-between-a-bun.

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I think I can count on one hand the number of times I've actually eaten inside a fast food restaurant in the last ten years. Between the screaming kids and the general dirtiness that most places have, I find the whole experience to be rather unappetizing. I have found, however, that a good way to get rid of the kids is to walk in wearing a NAMBLA t-shirt. The parents make them finish their happy meals real quick and then make a bee line for the door.

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I don't think Daytripping ever walked into a fast-food restaurant with a NAMBLA shirt like he said he did.

 

And I better be on your top 103 list to make up for squeaking out the win against me in the Best Poster Tournament.

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