5/30: Which Holiday Is King For Overindulging?
• For the longest time I always had Thanksgiving pegged as the one day of the year where gluttony was king. I think I’m starting to re-think this position after my Memorial Day cookout this year. A few weeks ago my local grocery store had specials on chicken, pork and steaks, so naturally I stocked up ($50+ worth of meat for less than $25 – w00t). Yesterday, with two charcoal grills going, I turned this dead flesh into beefy goodness. Not only did I eat myself sick, but also there are six chicken breasts, eight steaks and six chops in the refrigerator just waiting to be devoured. I’m glad I took today off from work, because I need the extra 24 hours before going back in order to digest everything I consumed. On a semi-related subject, some people are propane grillers while others are charcoal. For me, it has to be the latter. Not only do I not trust myself anywhere near a propane tank (I’m surprised I haven’t set my property on fire yet with the way I handle lighter fluid), but all that dirt and grit you get with charcoal is what makes the food all the more flavorful. When the better half and I bought this house, it came with an “installed” propane grill which hasn’t seen the light of day except for the few times the win has blown its cover off.
In regards to Sunday’s “redneck” cookout I talked about in my previous entry, I guess it went better than expected; especially since the crack-whore sister-in-law was there, along with the test-tube bunch. We arrived, ate and left: total time spent – two hours. Sadly, there’s one “normal” family that comes to this event, and they arrived just minutes before Mrs. kkk and I were leaving. The odd thing is that this family is having marriage trouble – the wife doesn’t even wear her wedding band – yet the other trolls that we meet at this get-together aren’t going to split up anytime soon. While on the subject of cookouts, I don’t understand the point of bringing anything other than dead animals to these functions. I will never touch a vegetable, sans corn on the cob, when the aroma of burgers, steaks or chicken lingers in the air. At the “family” cookout there was taco salad, potato salad and egg salad – none of which I touched. Hell, looking at this runny shit was bad enough. I guess the best way to describe this in-law cookout is to think back to that one joke Jeff Foxworthy made in one of those “Blue Collar Comedy” specials. He said the moment you get in your car from a family reunion you look at your wife and ask how you’re related to those people. You then go on to add, “That little one just ain’t right,” which, oddly enough, was what I was thinking Sunday after seeing one of the rug rats there attempt to play a trombone. Fortunately, I was able to leave before he was able to figure out which hole to blow into in order to create noise.
• The Indianapolis 500 has came and went, and this year Richard Petty, who said some not-so-nice things about women and racing, stirred up a bit of trouble. "I just don't think it's a sport for women," Petty said. "And so far, it's proved out. It's really not. It's good for them to come in. It gives us a lot of publicity: It gives them publicity. “But as far as being a real true racer, making a living out of it, it's kind of tough.” Chalk me up as one of those that wonder if he’s even heard of Danica Patrick. As long as women don’t get any special treatment, I don’t care who’s driving in those cars. I have also heard some grumblings since Patrick raced in last year's Indy 500 that the sport was pimping her over other drivers. Well no shit. Instead of bitching about this, all the male drivers ought to be thanking her for the added publicity. Oh, and when given the chance to respond to Petty’s comments, Patrick did the smart thing and didn’t say much about it. After all, I’m sure the ESPN PC machine will do all the dirty work for her.
8 Comments
Recommended Comments