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6/5: #92, Blue Collar PGA Tour

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kkktookmybabyaway

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KKK's Top 103 Posters

 

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Number 92: Swift Terror

 

Sure Swift Terror doesn’t post that much, if anymore, at TSM’s forums, but I know him personally so he gets a pimp on this list. Mr. Terror worked under me in 2002, and when he got promoted to the management level I was at we got to know each other better during some projects our groups worked together on. Well, the people working under us worked; I spent most of my day posting at TSM, which eventually pulled in my co-worker, too. In fact, we got along so well that we were groomsmen at each other’s weddings in the years that followed. A fellow right-winger, he likes cars and horror films, not to mention having a mother-in-law that would send shivers down … well, I better stop right now if I ever want his wife to let me back in their house again the next time I’m in the southwestern Ohio region.

 

And now a word from the expert panel I have put together to comment on the people I’ve listed.

 

From SFA Jack:

He personally knows kkk. That's gotta count for something, right?

 

• The Blue Collar Comedy quartet just had their “final” movie on Comedy Central last night, and I was unimpressed. I’m normally a fan of their comedy (sans that television show), but this third special left something to be desired. I didn’t mind most of the material; my problem was that the event took place in Washington, D.C., which is one of the last places I’d want to see these guys perform at. Why don’t you just do a show in Manhattan or Berkley next? The first two specials may not have taken place in “redneck” havens like Georgia or Mississippi, but nevertheless the crowds helped make the viewing experience enjoyable. This crowd looked mostly like inside-the-beltway schmoes, and there was just something missing from this element. I think one reason I like these stand-up specials is that Jeff, Larry, Bill and Ron complement each other well, although I’d consider Bill to be the weak link of the four, since he seems to have a similar brand of material that Jeff has. If this is indeed the last time these four will appear together on a stage, then peace out. You can’t argue about the success this “blue collar” stuff has experienced.

 

• There have been a few good commercials airing as of late, which is unusual for me because normally I think television commercials either try too hard to be over the top or are just bland. Ever since they brought back their former mascot (or whatever that king guy was supposed to be), Burger King has had a number of good ads. Their most recent ad pimping a Texas Double Whopper is an enjoyable one for me, especially the full version. The song is cute, and I like how the commercial builds momentum until that van gets pushed into a dump truck. The second ad that has immediately won me over is for some hippie soft drink. I don’t know if it’s a Mountain Dew rip-off, or some extra- caffeinated version of this greenish goodness. The commercial is about a farmer who is building a bigger, meaner scarecrow to fend off, and even destroy, a variety of woodland animals trashing his crops, including … well, you’ll have to watch it to figure out the payoff. And while I’m on this subject, I really liked Taco Bell’s “Think Outside The Bun” campaign, but it’s time to put it out to the pasture. My jump the shark moment on this batch of ads came with those “toga” commercials.

 

• So ESPN is giving constant updates on Michelle Wie’s qualifying performance for the U.S. Open. Here’s my question: Is the PGA supposedly a “male” league? If not, then why even bother having a LPGA? Let’s just have everybody play in golf leagues and see who qualifies. I have nothing against Wie, and if she gets exemptions to play in tournaments just because it will bring in more people to watch the event, then more power to her. And goddamn is Jim Gray the wrong guy to sub host Jim Rome is Burning. He seems like a good-enough sideline reporter, but when it comes to this format, they should have went with an extra “Best of Mike and Mike” or something, which says a lot because even if that show was on at 6 p.m. rather than 6 a.m., it would still put me to sleep. UPDATE: After reading Swift Terror's latest blog entry, I guess the PGA is co-ed. This of course now means that the LPGA needs to rethink their closed-minded policies. AHHHHH, another ESPN update on Wie. This is more annoying than those "Chasing Bonds" updates that were run prior to Barry passing Ruth.

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The Blue Collar guys were convinced to milk their popularity for all it was worth. Three or four movies, two television shows, live shows, and anything else they could do. I watched Larry's last television special and it was awful. He spent ten minutes pissing about the Dixie Chicks, and taking the Toby Keith approach to audience interaction. I like Jeff Foxworthy's comedy, and the others are good at times. But lately they seem to be increasingly pandering to their core audience.

 

The soda commercial is for Vault, a new "energy" drink produced by Coca-Cola. There's a second one featuring a father building his son a full size football field across four neighboring backyards. That one is good as well.

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Larry was ragging on the Dixie Terrorists? You say that like it's a bad thing. I've seen that football field ad; it's not as good as the scarecrow due the latter making fun of hi... well, you'll have to watch it for yourself.

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For what it's worth, that vault soda is basically Ecto-Cooler.

 

And BTW,

Hippies > Robots

 

 

I'll always maintain that the best commercials on TV are the Geico ones, from the Cavemen to the Gecko.

 

Re: Blue Collar Comedy, I love three of four. Larry the cable guy can screw off and die, but Ron white is hilarious, and Jeff and Bill definitely have their moments.

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Screw off and die? Wow, does he drive a SUV or something?

 

The Geico ones are hit-and-miss for me; there's too damn many of them. The caveman one was OK the first time I watced it. After the 20th viewing however, it lost a bit of its luster.

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Is the PGA supposedly a “male” league?

 

No, it's not.

 

If not, then why even bother having a LPGA?

 

Because females have an obvious disadvantage in power compared to men.

 

This of course now means that the LPGA needs to rethink their closed-minded policies.

 

Good one, idiot.

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Does he drive an SUV? No.

 

Is he funny? No.

 

Is he offensive? Yes.

 

Is he offensively stupid? Yes.

 

Does he take pride in being offensively stupid? Yes.

 

Is he really that dumb or hickish? No.

 

The other three have various southern accents, and talk about being white trash, to various degrees, but they don't pretend like they just rolled off the hay-wagon. No one does. The other three rely on jokes, LtCG relies on being a buffoon because white trash people are buffoons, ah-hyuck.

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Good one, Idiot.

 

Really? I didn't think it was one of my better efforts. In fact, I found it more formulatic than anything. And since I concluded that the PGA isn't an "all-male league" from reading another blog, because I didn't know what the answer was, then my remark about men being in the LPGA is moot.

 

Oh, and thanks, [sexist asshole mode on]bitch.[/sexist asshole mode off] But wait, I'm always a sexist asshole. I guess that one wasn't so good. :(

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Eric, what offends you about ol' Larry? I take pride in being offensively stupid. Do you want me to screw off and die?

 

...

 

On second thought, don't answer that.

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If you're honestly offensively stupid, then you're ... honestly offensively stupid.

 

Larry is just faking it. Maybe I should call it whiteface. But it certainly is a song and dance.

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Larry was ragging on the Dixie Terrorists? You say that like it's a bad thing. I've seen that football field ad; it's not as good as the scarecrow due the latter making fun of hi... well, you'll have to watch it for yourself.

The Dixie Chicks were blown way out of proportion, and I think people who were honestly upset about it need to reevaluate their priorities. It was troubling for a comedian to throw away any good observational humor to pull out the same macho shit that Toby Keith does. Combine that with constant toilet humor and not only was it pandering, it also wasn't funny in the least. Larry and Co. had some great comedy, but they're becoming caracatures of themselves.

 

I've seen the first ad. The hippies line is funny, simply because of its complete randomness. It really makes no sense and comes out of left field, and that's why it works.

 

Someone mentioned the Geico ads. The gecko has outlived its usefullness, IMO.

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I think people who were honestly upset about it need to reevaluate their priorities.

 

For the record, I'm not "upset" over the Dixie Terrorists, but if they bitch about having the right to speak their mind, I have the "right" to call them by my altered title and make fun of them. Freedom of speech is a two-way street. And I like the "hippies line" for the randomness, too. I was watching it going "what the hell is this," then they went to the hippies shot and I began cracking up. It's a shame they don't actually show one getting vaporized.

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