So I informed my idiot boss back in March that Mrs. kkk was going to leave her job in June, meaning she’d be without health insurance for the few months she was going to be in-between jobs. I wanted her to be put on my workplace insurance plan for just 2-3 months just in case something should happen to her. I was then told to wait until the end of March and he would give me the paperwork I’d have to fill out in order to get her on the health plan. Well, the end of March came, and I informed him of this; March turned into April and I heard nothing back, despite asking him about this every week. In fact, I was scolded one time because I was “annoying” him with this request. By the time mid-May came around I knew this asshole, whose motto in life is “That’s what the last minute is for,” wasn’t going to giving me the proper forms, despite my (at least) weekly reminders. The better half’s last day of work was June 2. On JUNE 7 I get this e-mail from the asshole that read, “Here are forms you asked about a WEEK OR TWO AGO regarding putting your wife on our health plan. Let me know if you still want to do this. Thanks.” It was at this time I decided to treat every work-related request of his with the same respect and diligence he deems worthy of dealing with my family’s health care matters. And it’s been a fun month since.

I may seem to some as being an asshole, and for the most part I am. However, one thing I take seriously is my job duties. I’m one of those queer birds that actually thinks getting work done early is a good thing, and very rarely do I turn in something right at its deadline. However, every since this events I mentioned in the first paragraph, I happily do my work and wait until whatever I’ve done is requested. If I’m told to turn something in right after I create it, I do that; however, this never happens because, hey, that’s what the last minute is for. Before if I would have worked on something, such as a brochure, I would have turned it in a day or so after the request was made, and then it would be put aside for weeks by the idiot until the deadline for this project was a day or so away, which would be when I’d get revisions.

Every three months our organization, which sells insurance and annuity products, sends out quarterly statements to our customers. Now instead of outsourcing the remedial task of stuffing thousands upon thousands of envelopes, all the “staff” has to perform this job. However, I’m actually one of the few people at this place who doesn’t mind doing this. Hell, I’ve performed a lot worse tasks for a lot less pay. I’ll gladly sit in my office, listen to RIGHT-WING RADIO, and stuff envelopes for a day. This past quarterly stuffing, my idiot boss wanted to include a stupid additional insert which informed customers that our annuity rates have increased. Of course this was my job, and after a day or so I came up with some conceptual designs. But rather than immediately put the samples on asshole’s desk, I just kept them on my hard drive and did the 20 other job responsibilities that somehow magically became part of my job description by the Workplace Delegation Fairy. A week or so went by and I was finally asked about the statue of these stupid inserts. Since they were requested, I immediately sent him a sample of the insert he decided upon with the message, “I have had the revisions done for more than a week now; nobody told me what to do with them when I made the revisions, so I just kept them on file until they were requested.”

A few days went by, and the “deadline” the idiot originally set to have these inserts finalized passed. I was then given some “last-second” revisions he wanted done. Apparently, it took almost a week for him to realize that he didn’t like the font size of some words on the insert, among other things, and he sent this revision request to me via e-mail as I was shutting down my office computer and heading out for the weekend, mentioning, “these need changed ASAP.” If anyone has seen the movie “Office Space,” (and I suggest that you do), think of when Bill Lumbergh waits until the end of the workday Friday to ask Peter Gibbons to come in on Saturday to work. I made the changes the next workday, which was Monday. Tuesday came and went, and I then took Wednesday off, which apparently was when the great envelope stuffing drive took place; darn, I missed it. It’d be nice if someone would actually tell me when these events are going to take place rather than just have a thousand or two statements plopped onto my desk. Since I took the day off, I was unaware that those stupid inserts I had mentioned above were not ready to be stuffed since these inserts hadn’t been printed out yet by the idiot, so people spent that Wednesday just folding the statements; not stuffing them. (They had to wait until the inserts were printed, then stuff both the statements and inserts into envelopes; don't ask my why they were told to do this, I have no idea.) So not only did I miss the great “folding expedition of June 2006” I wasn’t part of the “great insert-stuffing orgy of chaos” which took place Thursday and Friday of last week. Although I’m enjoying my new pseudo-passive aggressive behavior, I don’t think I need to do this in order to have my idiot boss fuck up; he seems to do a good enough job of it on his own.