the.weej 0 Report post Posted March 23, 2004 Card: SWF Intercontinental-Television Title #1 Contenders Match Mike Van Siclen v. Dace Night Storms are brewing in the SWF. Rivalries are heating up and danger lurks around every corner. To start this momentous night off, MVS will take on Dace Night for a shot at Toxxic's newly won ICTV Title. Rules: Standard Singles Match Streetfight for the SWF United States Title "Coyote" Coy West © v. Alan Clark Their last match ended in a inconclusive manner. Tonight we get part two of what is sure to become a rivalry for the ages. Rules: There are no rules. Pin or submission must happen in the ring. MXC HCG # 1 Contenders Match Edward James v. Aecas v. Syndicate Guest Commentators: Vic Romano and Kenny Blankenship Guest Ring Announcer: Captain Tenneal The SWF has recently signed a contract to show SWF Flashback (Classic matches and promos) on the Viacom family of channels, most likely on MTV. So, as a tribute to the fine entertainment they provide, we have the first ever "Most Extreme Elimination Challenge" Match. James and Syndicate are looking to make an impact while Aecas certainly wants another shot at the Phenom that is Toxxic. Rules: The match will be contested in an open field with three games from MXC. They are: 1. Door Jam 2. Log Drop 3. Sinkers and Floaters You do not have to play the games, it is just a set, so to speak. If you are not familiar with the show, watch an episode or two on SpikeTV (funny stuff) or check out The Yahoo / MXC Group. You'll have to join the group, but the info is very useful. Tornado Match for the SWF Tag Team Titles Wild & Dangerous © v. The House of Todd These two teams have been on a collision course of late. With rumors flying around the Internet that WildChild is leaving the company, will W&D be able to hang onto their titles, or will the dastardly HoT steal them away? Rules: All four men are allowed in the ring at one time. Other than that, rules are the same. Tag Team Match Toxxic & Jimmy "The Demon" Liston v. "The Superior One" Tom Flesher & "A Partner Of His Choosing" Toxxic has come a long way in a short time. So now he faces one of his greatest challenges to datye: The former World Champion Tom Flesher. But Toxxic still had one string left to pull, and insisted that this be a tag match. On the spot, the punker chose The Demon for his partner. It is now up to Tom to find a partner before Smarkdown or face a handicap match!! Rules: Standard Tag Match. Toxxic & Liston, you will be PM'd the name of Tom's partner and stats if needed. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
the.weej 0 Report post Posted March 23, 2004 It’s getting dark in the car park of the Hara Arena in Dayton, Ohio as a taxi pulls up. The door opens and a familiar spiky-haired figure steps out, two SWF belts draped over his right shoulder. The watching audience start to boo as Toxxic pays the cab driver and then enters the arena through a back door, adjusting the Hardcore Gamer’s Title and his newly-won ICTV belt as he goes. The camera follows the straight-edger down the hallway until he is suddenly halted by the appearance of a microphone under his nose. Mildly startled, Toxxic’s gaze travels up the arm that holds the interviewing instrument until it reaches the face of the arm’s owner, the SWF’s ever-present investigative journalist Ben Hardy. “Toxxic,” Hardy begins. “You said last week on Lockdown that there would be plenty of time for talking after you beat the Insane Luchador - and you beat the Insane Luchador and have become the Intercontinental-Television Champion. Do you have anything to say?” Toxxic looks at Ben Hardy for a moment and then grins his lopsided grin. “Well yeah, Ben, I do actually. I know in my heart that Grand Slam only gave me that title shot to see if he could find my limits. He wanted me to overreach myself, Ben. But Alan Rickman the Inane Luchador was not beyond my means, as everyone saw last week. I beat him, just as I beat the seven-foot sociopath Aecas at From The Fire, and just as I will beat Tom Flesher later tonight.” “Regarding your match later,” Hardy says, apparently choosing to ignore Toxxic’s deliberate dig at Andrew Rickmen, “why choose Jimmy Liston as your partner? The Demon hasn’t won a match in ages, and he was beaten with a single move on Lockdown by Johnny Dangerous!” “Let’s get one thing straight, Ben,” Toxxic answers, moving closer to the reporter. “I don’t need a partner to take care of Flesher. The guy was on a losing streak before he left, and he seems to have spent the last six weeks getting podgy. I wouldn’t be surprised if no-one agrees to tag with him anyway.” “Why not?” Ben asks. “Because of his attitude!” Toxxic responds. “People are calling me arrogant, but I’m meek and mild compared to the Flesher of old! Oh yeah, he’ll play to the fans now, but I doubt there’s anyone in the back who Flesher hasn’t pissed off at some point. Of course, Grand Slam won’t be able to watch me and the Demon take his errand-boy apart so he’ll doubtless send someone out, but it won’t make a difference whether it’s The Boston Strangler, Exploding Chicken or the bloody Suicide King, the result will be the same. I just hope Stevens has the decency to drag the guy out himself instead of making them pretend they’re doing it willingly.” “Well, thank you very much, Toxxic,” Hardy says, backing away. “A pleasure as always, Ben,” the double champion responds sarcastically, pushing past the reporter. The British punk turns another corner into a deserted hallway... and the lights suddenly go out. Moments later they come back on, and Toxxic finds himself staring at a chest. The camera pans back a little... and the chest is revealed to belong to the Black Angel, Aecas. “Well, hi there,” Aecas says, nonchalantly leaning against the wall. The giant is wearing his long leather trenchcoat again, his black hair tied back in a loose ponytail. “Aecas.” Toxxic says shortly, managing to conceal the shock - and possibly fear - that momentarily etched his features. “Shouldn’t you be off teaching children to worship the Devil or something?” “It’s half term,” the giant replies, straight-faced. “Besides, Gabriel wanted to see how you were doing.” “Gabriel.” Toxxic snorts, rolling his eyes. “How nice. Look, did you want something? Or were you just going to stand there spouting gibberish and looking deranged?” “Oh yes,” Aecas says, leaning down to peer into Toxxic’s eyes, “I did want something.” His hands twitches aside the ICTV belt on Toxxic’s shoulder to reveal the Hardcore Gamers’ Title underneath. “That’s mine. And after tonight, I’m going to be able to get it back.” The dead white eyes lock with Toxxic’s grey ones as the double champion pulls away. “Yeah, Grand Slam gives you a Contender’s match against two debutants,” Toxxic responds, shrugging the ICTV belt back into place. “Not playing favourites at all! Anyway, you can bring your oversized carcass to the ring, and I’ll just beat you again. I’m a double champion now - in case you hadn’t noticed.” “I had,” Aecas replies. “And in case you hadn’t noticed, a good friend of mine is wrestling tonight for the chance to take that ICTV belt from you as well.” The Black Angel stretches, raising his arms above his head and touching the ceiling. “Enjoy it while it lasts.” “Listen, sunshine,” Toxxic snarls, “I’m not scared of you, I’m not scared of SaturDaceNight Fever, and I’m not- CUT THAT OUT!” The corridor blacks out again for a second... and then the lights come back up, leaving Toxxic alone once more with no sign that the Black Angel ever stood there. The rookie looks around him and sees no-one, then slams a hand into the wall. “Oh very nice!” The double champion calls out to the empty corridor. “You can appear, you can disappear; you’re the Phantom of the bloody Opera, congratulations!” There is no reply, and no seven-footer reappears in Toxxic’s line of sight. “Fruitcake,” the straight-edger snorts, and stalks off down the corridor... but can’t help looking over his shoulder as he goes. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
the.weej 0 Report post Posted March 23, 2004 Dayton Ohio shows it’s hot place to be as the fans break into another huge round of cheers as the Smarktron lights up again. Ready for the opening match of the evening, the traditional sea of smart signs populate the crowd all over the Hara Arena. “TOXXIC – ENGLISH FOR OVERPUSHED!” “FLESHER FOR CHAMPION!” “JUDGE IS THE MYSTERY MAN!” “HOUSE OF TODD ARE HELD DOWN!” As Funyon makes his way down to the ring to announce the first match up, Cyclone Comet and Bobby Riley sit at ringside.. Comet: Welcome Citizens. This is SWF Smarkdown and it’s time for our first event of the evening! We’ve got so many things going on tonight. Including the return of Tom Flesher to the ring along with a mystery partner! Riley: But that’s not all, we get to see Dace Night curtain jerking. Fantastic! Comet: Is that one of the few things you care about Robert? Riley: Along with seeing the World Title on Duran and Grappler being retired yes. Oh, and Tom coming back to his senses and batting for the right team again. Comet:……… Setting into the ring, Funyon brings up his signature house mike as the crowd quiets down for the announcement of the first match up… Funyon: Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest will be for one fall and for the number one contendership to the SWF ICTV Championship! Introducing firstly, from Birmingham England, at two hundred and fifty two pounds … DACE… FUCKING! Funyon: NIGHT! YYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! Hero rips into life along with the flashes of pyrotechnics lighting up the entrance ramp. Standing at the top of the ramp in the cloud of smoke, Dace looks over the crowd, smiling slightly. Walking towards the ring, he high fives some of the fans along his way and shows his approval to anti Toxxic signs as he goes. Sliding into the ring, Dace scales up the turnbuckles and throws the horns in the air to the cheering fans before stepping down to wait for his opponent. Funyon: And his opponent, Harrison Illinois, weighing in at two hundred and thirty one pounds … THE SPECTACLE MIKE VAN SICLEN! RRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Ready To Die kicks up to the mixed reaction from the Ohio fans before three blasts of pyro like up the stage once again as Van Siclen appears at the top of the stage. Heading straight down to the ring, MVS has a small smile on his face as he climbs the apron and steps though the ropes into the ring. Standing face to face with Dace, Mike stars him down as Funyon exits the ring and Hardcastle rolls in to referee the match. Stepping back from each other, Dace extends his hand towards Mike for a handshake. Comet: This is far from the first time that these two have faced off. With Citizen Van Siclen defending his JL Title against Dace a long time again. And as part of Double Jeopardy, he defend Dace and Va’aiga for the tag team titles. Riley: And now he gets to burry Dace in the opening match. I’m liking it almost. Looking down at Horrorcore’s extended hand, The Spectacle pauses for a moment before looking Dace straight in the eye and giving him the middle finger… BBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CRACK! OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH! DING, DING, DING! Almost snapping Mike’s head of his shoulders, Dace answers the middle finger with an Elbow Smash to the face. Pelting Van Siclen in the face three more times, Night knocks him half senseless in seconds. Grabbing onto Mike and launching him like a rag doll, Dace sends him flying across the ring and into the ropes. Hurtling back like a pinball, Mike can hardly do anything to stop it as Dace hauls him into the air in a Gorilla Press. Holding Mike in the air for a moment, Night turns railings like he was nothing at all, Dace gives him both middle fingers to make his point clear. CLANK! OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH! Comet: It looks like Citizen Night is doing the burying tonight Comet. Van Siclen didn’t take the handshake and he just got drilled and thrown out of the ring for it! Back up into the opposite set of ropes, Dace uses them like a catapult, firing himself across the ring. As MVS struggles up to his feet on the outside, holding his spinning head, he looks up to see a two hundred fifty pound missile flying straight for him. The world whites out as the Elbow Suicida slams into MVS’ face and crashes him back into the railings. Sprawling out on the floor, Dace spits and shakes his head out before rolling back up to his feet. As Hardcastle’s count gets higher and higher, Dace unceremoniously rolls Mike back into the ring before high fiving a few ring side fans and rolling back in himself. DACE! DACE! DACE! DACE! Riley: Poor Mike, having to sell some blatant crowd popping like that. Mike Van Siclen tries to struggle back up to his feet as drags him up by his hair. Clamping on a suffocating Front Facelock, Dace cuts of Mike’s struggles and hauls him all the way up into the air, leaving him hanging upside down for several seconds before kicking his legs out and dropping back to the mat, spiking The Spectacle with a Sheer Drop Brainbuster. Holding onto the now limp body of Van Siclen, Night rolls back to his feet and drags him into a Standing Headscissors. Underhooking both of Mike’s arms, Dace flips him up into air, holding him upside down again. Then shoving Mike forwards, Dace drills Van Siclen into the mat like a bug with a Release Tiger Driver. RRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Comet: Citizen Night with just destroy The Spectacle in a matter of moments right here on Smarkdown. First an Elbow Sucida, then a Brainbuster now a Stalling Release Tiger Driver. Riley: Looks like the booking team got to the arena even later than Mike did. Standing over the unmoving body of Mike Van Siclen, Dace looks up at the crowd, scanning the arena for a moment. Pointing down at Mike, he points up towards the turnbuckles then draws his hand across his throat. Hauling up The Spectacle like he’s a sack of potatoes, Horrorcore drags him over into the corner. Scooping Mike up and dumping him on the top rope, Night climbs up after him. Slamming an elbow into Mike’s temple just for good measure, Dace steps up to the top rope and hauls up Mike up along with him. Locking his arms in another Double Underhook, Dace steadies himself for a moment before leaping backwards for the top rope, dragging Mike with him and planting him into the mat with ring shaking impact. BOOM! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! Comet: SUPER TIGGGGGAAAAHHH DDDRRRRIIIVVVVAAAAAHHHH! Holding onto Mike’s spasming body, Dace holds him down for the cover as Hardcastle dives in as the crowd yell along with the count. ONE! TWO! THREE! YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! DING! DING! DING! Funyon: Ladies and Gentlemen, here is your winner and number one contender of the SWF ICTV Title… DACE NIGHT! DACE F’N’ NIGHT! DACE F’N’ NIGHT! DACE F’N’ NIGHT! Riley: Dear god, Dace is squashing people in the opening match up. This is bad. Let’s hope they’re just building him up for Toxxic to flatten! Comet: Robert, really don’t speak of such things. But yes, now the two British Citizens will face off for the ICTV Championship. And Citizen Night is a form ICTV Champion, so that will add something more to the battle. Riley: Not to mention that Toxxic defeated Aecas for the HGC Title at the last pay per view. So that will probably make Dace even more of a violent madman than usual. What fun… Leaving Mike Van Siclen in a lifeless ball in the corner of the ring, Dace grabs up the house mic from Funyon and turns to address the fans… Dace: Toxxic.. you little poser ass bitch! You managed to get the ICTV Title from Insane. You took the Hardcore Title from Aecas. You’ve been pushed to the damn moon, because this place doesn’t have a glass ceiling. You’ve fought your way up, but now you’ve got to face Tom Flesher tonight. Then you’re going to have to face me. Once again, Brit versus Brit, but you won’t be leaving with the belt. So get ready Toxxic, Dace F’n’ Night is coming to avenge Aecas and to take the ICTV Title once again. YYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! Hero rips back into life once again as Dace drops the mic and slides out of the ring, heading up the ramp towards the back. Comet: Well, looks like Citizen Night is all set to take on Citizen Toxxic for the ICTV Title and it looks like he’s ready for war. Riley: Good, I get to make jokes about Toxxic beating another member of the Trinity..maybe this is looking up after all… Fade Out. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
the.weej 0 Report post Posted March 23, 2004 Flanked by a SWF cameraman stands the reigning SWF Cruiserweight Champion Alan Clark. Sitting on top of a waste receptacle Clark looks about the unquestionably clean street with a bemused expression. Silently strumming away on his acoustic guitar, Clark tightens the strings up by the head of the instrument before turning his concentration back to plucking away. With clearly no actual song in mind, Clark just continues to jam like the shoeless hippie that he is until he is finally interrupted by a call from across the street. “Howdy there Alan,” starts the Southern twang of the SWF United States champion Coy West as he comes into view of the television camera. “Hey Coy,” calls out the Cruiserweight as he hops off the top of the trash can. “You ready to bring the rage and conflict and… your kids?” Trailing behind the Coyote follows the pack of urchins that live in the RV that Coy drives around the country and beyond with his wife by his side. Speaking of which, Vera is also oddly in attendance as she starts to wipe a bit of the muck from off one of their faces. The family West stares about the street where these people have gathered as Alan limbers up to Coy and grabs him around the shoulder. Pulling Coy away from his family, Alan mutters loud enough for the camera to pick up, “Coy. Your kids?” “Yeah,” answers Coy obviously not understanding the question, “they are all mine. I was a little worried about the first one, but blood tests provided by the kind folks at Jerry Springer clearly proved…” “No Coy. Why are they here? I mean if we’re going to be having a street fight and bleed all over each other and everything do you really want to let the urchins see this sort of thing up close?” “Oh THAT,” returns Coy, “well first off they had a hell of a time watching that alligator bite the crap out of me a few years ago. That’s kind of scary to be honest. But secondly, I don’t think things are going to be all that violent anyway.” Alan simply gapes at the unconcerned redneck, “What you talking about Coy? Grand Slam wanted us to settle the split we had last week. Christ he ordered a street fight for the love of Pete.” “But he didn’t say what street!” “Does it really matter what street you decide to fight on?” “Of course it does! Christ you try having a fight on Martin Luther King Avenue. All the drug dealers get really pissed off about that sort of thing.” Alan just shakes off that mental image as he has done for just about everything “So where are we then? You didn’t tell me where to go, just how to get here.” “Exactly.” “I feel like I fell into the middle of one of those wacky British sitcoms that don’t make any sense. What does that have to do with anything?” “It has a lot to do with everything. Hey kids, can you tell me how to get?” The three children explode together, “HOW TO GET!” Alan’s eyes widen in horror, “Oh you have to be kidding.” “HOW TO GET TO SEASAME STREET!” scream the kids in the off beat way that children sing. “That’s right,” laughs Coy as he grabs Alan around the shoulder and gives him a manly sort of hug, “its going to be a Sesame Street Fight! Look I got a referee and everything.” From off screen comes a high and distinctive laugh of, “AH! AH! AH!” Alan just continues to shake his head, “I do believe that I have gone completely insane.” Sliding into view with only his upper half of his body extending into frame ‘walks’ PBS superstar and counting vampire puppet The Count. “HELLO Coy and Alan! AH! AH! AH! There is ONE WRESTLER! TWO WRESTLERS! TWOOOO WRESTLERS! AH! AH! AH!” Alan just continues to stare at the puppet before looking down and out of frame. This obviously does not seem to sit well with the referee. “HEY!” shouts The Count as his face … well stays the same. He’s a puppet after all. “Don’t be looking down there for any reason Mister. I will so … count a lot. You don’t want me to count anymore do you1! DOOOOOO YOU!” Alan shakes his head with a look of someone slapped down by that mean English teacher that would throw erasers at you, “No.” “Damn right,” calls out The Count as he points at the obviously flustered rocker. “I may be made of felt but I will so kick your ass ONE TIME! TWO TIMES! THREE TIMES! FOUR TIMES! FOUR TIMESSSSS! AH! AH! AH! If you give me any sort of trouble! You hear me you hippie!” The count wanders off a bit as Alan meanders over to Coy, “I’ll get you for this. I will so make you pay.” “Well we are scheduled to fight in like a few seconds,” West happily reminds his opponent. Meanwhile, Coy’s wife and children wander over to Mr. Hooper’s Newsstand to hang out and learn about basic shapes and such. But quite frankly, Alan is about ready to kick Coy up and down the street for a few months after being subjected to this family-friendly stupidity. Pulling his guitar strap over his head, Alan sets his axe aside and starts to rub his wrists in the hopes of bashing Coy in the face really, really soon. “Ready,” laughs Coy with the dumbest damn look on his face you ever did see. Alan narrows his eyes as he looks deep into the soul of himself for the anger ever wrestler needs in order to nearly maim someone. Finding that inner time that a bully stepped on his favorite G. I. Joe, Alan answers Coy’s very pointed question with the firm resolution of, “Okay.” “You sure?” answers Coy as he looks about as though he expected a completely different answer. “Yes,” replies Alan as he starts to stretch his legs back and forth a bit. Obviously whatever Coy had in mind that would lead to him bowing out of the battle to come is simply not in play. “Huh,” Coy grasps as he looks about in a bit of a confusing way. “Why wouldn’t I be?” replies Clark as replaces that look of determination with the look of confusion that was there only a moment before. “Because of your crippling PUPPET PHOBIA!” shouts Coy with a look of complete insanity. The jarring force of which actually knocking Alan back on his heels for a moment before the Cruiserweight Champion hunches forward yet again with the question we all are pretty much asking. “What the hell are you talking about?” demands Clark as he rubs his hand across his forehead as a mammoth migraine threatens to cut him down in the prime of life. West looks at Clark with a raised eyebrow, “You have CPP: Crippling Puppet Phobia. I saw it on your web site.” “You have web access?” “Sure. I have DSL into my laptop. I have to block a whole lot of sites though because of the kids. Who knew that Bailey would have so many links to naked animal babes?” Alan shakes his head loose of that happy little thought, “Coy… I honest have no idea what in the name of sweet zombie Jesus about which of what you speak. I mean about the CPP, I think everyone knows about Bailey by now.” Coy wrings his hands together as he speaks; “You don’t have to hide anymore Alan. You can let your fear out and embrace it. CPP is nothing to be ashamed of. Fear is nothing to be ashamed of. Look at me, I’ve scared of ceiling fans ever since I saw Willy Wonka.” Alan replies, “Oh I know, that scene where they had to burp so they would stop floating or they would be cut into little pieces. Gives me the damn shivers. I couldn’t sleep for days after I saw that movie.” “Creepy shit. And those damn midgets made me think that they ate human brains for lunch and dinner.” “You ain’t kidding. And babies for breakfast damn scary movie.” Coy puts a hand on his temple, “But you aren’t at all scared of puppets?” Clark puts up a finger as if to confirm only to bring back down to his side, “Not really. I mean The Count intimidated me a little there but I think I might be over it.” Coy punches himself in the side of the head as if to clear out all the data on monster trucks, “Damn it. I know someone is scared of puppets. Who was that? Was it Dace?” “No,” pipes up Alan with a helpful tinge in his voice, “Dace is only scared of commitment.” “Johnny Dangerous,” questions The Coyote with a hand across his jaw. “Trout,” adds Alan helpfully. “Trout? Are you serious? … That’s really kind of lame.” “I know right! Why the hell would you be sacred of trout? Ceiling fans, now that is a reasonable fear.” “Right. But I am sure that I know someone is scared of puppets.” Clark looks Coy deeply in the eyes for a moment, “… Are sure its not you?” West thoughtfully puts a hand to his temple, “You know it really could be me. Count?” “Yes?” responds the bored puppet vampire as he looms over towards Coy. “AHHHHHHHH!” “It is you,” laughs Alan as he points over at Coy with a huge smile across his face. “Crap.” “Yeah you sure did pick the wrong place for this thing,” remarks Alan as he walks about the street for a moment or two, “But on the plus side. No ceiling fans.” The Count clearly has had enough of this particular brand of nonsense; “Will you two girls just fight already?” Alan and Coy just stare over at The Count, “…” “ Oh for the love of Ernie,” grumbles The Count, “ONE GIRL! TWO GIRLS! TWOOOO GIRLS! AH! AH! AH! There! I hope you are happy. Now start with the mindless violence.” “Hey!” calls out Alan Clark; “Do we tell you how to do your job?” “You just did!” calls out the angry puppet. Coy looks through his teary and scared eyes, “Well… crap you have us caught us in that logical trap.” “Yes he did,” agrees Clark. The Count sighs again at the two wrestlers standing side by side, “Well then… fight?” “Oh right!” Together both men slam together into a tackle and begin to punch and push away at each other as The Count looks on with a sadistic glee. West uses his superior and panicked strength to get the better of the exchange and knock his opponent backward into the alley from which Clark was initially waiting. Punching Clark across the head one last time knocks West backward and ends up rocking his back against a couple of trashcans. West comes walking into range only to have Clark grab one of the closer cans and fling it right at the USJL Champion and knock him flat to the ground. “CHRIST!” comes a gruff voice out of seemingly no where. “What was that?” asks Clark as West rubs his gourd after having a metal trashcan bouncing off his face. “It was me!” shouts the voice as a familiar green puppet makes his presence known as he pops his head out from the can now on its side. “Can one of you mental patients set my house right side up again.” “Alan?” asks Coy with a tinge of fear still in his voice. “Please?” “What’s his riff?” asks Oscar the Grouch as he puts a hand underneath his head. “CPP,” replies Alan as he sets Oscar’s garbage can back on its proper side. “He’s a communist?” asks The Grouch as he straitens himself out. “He has Crippling Puppet Phobia,” answers Clark as though everyone should know exactly what that acronym would mean. “So he’s a girl?” asks Oscar the Grouch as he continues to shuffle his hands around in the can, trying to straiten whatever it is down there up once again. “A big honking girl,” replies The Count as he keeps a deep eye on the little cut on West’s forehead that was opened up on his head when the garbage can collided with his face. “Not that the other one is high on the testosterone.” “Oh yeah,” chuckles Oscar as he comes out of the garbage can fully and props his head up on his hand. “I bet they couldn’t handle even the smallest of my… uh pieces of garbage.” “What? What the hell do you have in there?” asks Clark as West continues to cower a bit. “Garbage… its just garbage.” Alan saddles over to the garbage can and reaches into the dark nether regions as Oscar continues to struggle to keep Clark out of his can. But it seems that all those efforts are in vain as Clark yanks whatever it is free of the can with a vial in hand. Backing away from the can as Oscar continues to grumble at the loss. Revealing that it was a vial of some sort of powder, Clark looks closely at the substance and reads the label. “Anthrax?” Oscar begins to shout, “Look so I have a hobby! Is it so wrong to create biological weapons for the express purpose of terrorism? Honestly, it’s not like I ever … well there was that one time with Elmo. But come on! It was Elmo! Who likes Elmo? Nobody! So what is a little Anthrax?” Wandering over to the ranting and raving Oscar, Alan basically slam dunks the vile into the garbage can, sending the green puppet into shouting, wailing mass as he ducks underneath the lid in order to retrieve the biological agent. But Oscar will soon have larger problems to deal with as Alan slams the lid down on the top of the can. Looking at the can with the eyeball of a man with some very deep thoughts, Alan instead decides to go with the simplest solution. PUNT! Kicking the can as hard as possible, Alan sends it rolling down the side of Sesame Street until it collides hard against the side of a Snufflelofagus and spilling Ebola all over the occupant. “AHHHHH!” “Yeah, yeah…” says Alan with the dry icy wit of an action hero. “What kind of crappy crap is this neighborhood Coy? COY?” Looking over behind him, Alan Clark gets a face full of horror as he sees his opponent trapped in the grasp of THE UNDEAD! OMG! Holding the petrified CPP sufferer around the neck, The Count is now treating him like a two-dollar Slurpy as he sucks the bloody blood out of his forehead. “Knock it off!” shouts Alan as Coy continues to fade under the blood loss. “What do you care?” gloats The Count as he takes a break from the blood drinking, “He’s all salty and full of booze but otherwise pretty tasty. Come on… I eat him and you’ll be US champion or whatever the hell you wrestlers want to be. I can declare you winner right now actually. I’m all referee.” “You’re all DEAD!” “Well yeah but… WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Grabbing the Count by the head, Alan tosses him aside and through a door with his mighty rocker strength. Impaled on a shard of the wood, The Count stumbles out from the pile before EXPLODING INTO DUST! OH SWEET MERCY JOSS WHEDON IS GOING TO SUE EVERYONE! Alan sums up the situation pretty damn well, “Well this is about a ten-pointer on my weird shit-o-meter. Coy are you okay?” “Peachy,” grunts the USJL Champion as he wipes the little blood of his head. “Good thing his fangs were made of felt or I would be a whole lot more dead. But I’ve learned a very valuable lesson here today. I’ve earned that puppets are pretty fucking weak no matter how creepy they might be. So there’s no real point in being afraid of them.” “Except for all the evil.” “Well evil will only take you so far. I bet I could kick the crap out of a dozen evil puppets.” “Here’s your chance bitch,” shouts a voice from off the screen, “cause we just happen to have a dozen evil puppets here to wreck your shit.” Turning around the two wrestlers find Burt and Ernie leading a pack of the lesser known Sesame Street characters loaded up with a bunch of sticks and stones and such. Ernie puts his rubber ducky up to his noodle, “Mr. Ducky wants to eat your entrails!” “Sick bastards,” shouts yet another voice from off to the other side of the camera. Flipping the camera around we find the entire Family West loaded up with some rifles from their private stash. “Mr. Hooper tried to sell us porn,” reports Coy’s wife Vera. “And then tried to cast me in one. Suffice to say, this is not my favorite street in the world.” “This is the Calvary huh?” laughs Big Bird. “Three kids and your wife? Won’t be enough.” “But we did happen to make a call,” replies Vera. “To the army?” asks Alan hopefully. “Nope. Called them…” “Who?” “Wiggles.” “Oh crap!” “Oh no!” “OH YES!” WIGGLES TEAR SHIT UP AND KILL ALL OF SESAME STREET EXCEPT FOR KERMIT BECAUSE HE ROCKS! “And that would be how a street fight on Sesame Street would go,” reports Coy as he takes a long drag on his beer. Looking over to an equally drunken Alan Clark he continues “Yes sir. Those bastards are alive with all the evil.” “You really are scared of puppets,” replies Clark as he points the top of his beer at the USJL Champion. “That’s just crazy.” “Oh and the ceiling fan thing is normal,” replies Coy. “Now what would be cool is if we had a street fight with KISS hanging around. Gene Simmons would be all sticking his tongue out and it would rock…” “You already told me.” “Damn on a scale of one to five… I am sooooo drunk.” “If you ain’t puking you ain’t trying.” “So very true.” Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
the.weej 0 Report post Posted March 23, 2004 Edward James vs Aecas vs Syndicate TNS Move along, nothing to see here. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
the.weej 0 Report post Posted March 23, 2004 (edited) “We’re back,” pipes Cyclone Comet, “and we’re about to see a Tornado Tag Team match for the Tag Team Championship, between Wild and Dangerous and the challengers, the House of Todd! Robert, the last time these two teams met in the ring, it didn’t turn out well for the challengers!” “Well, Wild and Dangerous may have gotten the better of the House of Todd at From the Fire,” replies Bobby Riley, “through the help of a maneuver that should be declared illegal, I might add, but they’re not going to be so lucky here tonight; the House of Todd is looking for payback in a big way, particularly Todd Royal!” “Todd Royal wearing a soft neck brace last week on Lockdown,” adds Comet, “as a result of the elevated spike piledriver he suffered at the hands of the Tag Team Champions a couple of weeks ago! I don’t doubt that he’s got some issues that he’d like to settle with Wild and Dangerous, but you have to wonder how well he’s going to be able to contribute in a match like this!” “Don’t worry about Todd,” answers Riley. “After all, it was his will that he be pile-driven like that!” Comet cringes in irritation. “What the devil are you babbling about?” Without skipping a beat, Riley flips through his limited edition, autographed copy of the Book of Todd. “For it is written,” he begins reverently, “in Chapter Sixteen, Verse Fifteen of the Book of Todd, that the Lord our Todd must suffer through great injury and be stretchered out, and that he would return triumphantly three shows later to smite his oppressors!” Beneath his colored cowl, Comet’s eyebrows raise in disbelief. “Let me see that,” he barks, as he rips the Good Book away from Riley. “What in the… You just stapled this in here today!” “Blasphemer,” shouts Riley defiantly, as he snatches the Book back from Comet. “How dare you doubt the Word of Todd?” As the two announcers continue to bicker, stagehands begin to assemble bleachers at the top of the stage for Todd’s Angels, eliciting boos from the crowd. “What’s going on here,” asks Comet, as he turns his head in the direction of the noise, only to see Michael M. Smith step out from behind the curtain. “Oh no, what’s this clown doing out here?” “Michael M. Smith has every reason to be out here,” replies Bobby. “He’s just assembling the choir so that they can praise Todd; what’s wrong with that?” The lights slowly begin to dim as the full twenty-piece choir, wearing their House of Todd choir robes, walks out from backstage in a single-file line, and assembles to the left side of the stage. Comet looks askance at Riley as he begins to fidget excitedly in his seat. “Is something wrong with you, Robert?” “I’m just excited,” chimes Riley gleefully. “It’s time for Praise and Worship; this is my favorite part of the service! You know what this means, don't you? It's time for…” “Please, Bobby,” cringes Comet, “it's bad enough to have to hear these songs at all, let alone hear you sing, and let even further alone…” “Ladies and gentlemen,” bellows Funyon, “please welcome at this time, Todd's Angels, with special guest Michael M. Smith!” “Ugh,” groans Comet. “Can’t we get this guy deported or something?” “Will you be quiet, Comet,” pleads Bobby. “I don't want to have my Praise and Worship interrupted by your whining, like at From the Fire.” Smith stands at the top of the ramp for a moment, his hands on his hips, simply appalled by the reaction before stepping up to the microphone… but not before shaking his head in pity and shushing then with his finger. “Brothers and Sisters in Todd,” Michael begins warmly. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! “Now, now,” scolds Smith, “once again there is no reason to show such angst towards us, just because you don’t know the words to the Hymn that we are about to sing. As we have done once before, we have the words to this Hymn conveniently placed on this large screen behind us in large bold lettering. If you follow the bouncing Todd, you will know what word to sing at the correct time." SMITH SUCKS! SMITH SUCKS! “Oh my Todd,” cries Bobby. “Will you just listen to these fans? They're all over Smith like stink on (bleep)! Have they no respect?” “What do you expect them to do,” snaps Comet. “This man is antagonizing the crowd!” On the SmarkTron™ the title to the Hymn ‘How Great Todd Art’ is prominently displayed with an animated white dove flapping its wings underneath. Michael stands in front on the microphone stand waiting with a wide toothed grin for the taped music to start. But, as he removes the microphone from its stand and raises it to his lips… WHAM! Wildchild and Johnny Dangerous rush out from backstage to knock Smith over from behind! The Dayton fans cheer as Wild and Dangerous begin to beat Smith down, and cheer even louder as they notice the Champions wearing replica jerseys of the University of Dayton Flyers over their ring attire! Todd’s Angels begin to scramble, fleeing to the safety of the backstage area as Wild and Dangerous continue to kick Michael M. Smith across the stage! “This is an atrocity,” roars Riley. “What gives them the right to come out here and brutalize an innocent man like this? I mean, all poor Michael wanted to do was sing a song!” “I think that Wild and Dangerous have had enough of Michael M. Smith’s act,” replies Comet, as the Champions drag Smith all the way over to the edge of the stage. They pick him up over their heads and hold him over the edge, with the fans screaming their encouragement… WHAM! … But suddenly, Todd Royal and Landon Maddix run onto the stage, attacking the Champions from behind! Smith scurries to safety, blessing Todd’s name as the House of Todd begins assaulting Wild and Dangerous! “Praise Todd,” sings Riley. “I knew that the Savior wouldn’t want all these sins to continue unabated!” Todd takes control of Wildchild and Landon takes Johnny as the House of Todd go to work on the Tag Team Champions at the top of the ramp. Megan Skye stands about halfway down the ramp, jumping up and down excitedly to cheer her two men on as they continue to capitalize on their advantage. “That’s what you get for picking on a defenseless man,” crows Riley. “Now face the Wrath of Todd!” “The House of Todd would be well advised to get Wild and Dangerous into the ring,” says Comet. “They can’t win the Tag Team Titles outside the ring!” “Patience,” replies Bobby. “All in due time, Comet; this is all part of Todd’s divine plan!” BAM! SMASH! Todd and Landon beat their opponents all the way down the ramp to the ringside area, stopping intermittently to hammer them with fierce punches, or to slam them into the barricade. Upon reaching the ringside area, Maddix leads Johnny around the ring towards the opposing corner, grinding the Barracuda’s face viciously against the ring barricade for the full length of the ring! “Royal and Maddix have certainly taken the role of aggressors in this match,” notes Comet. “I’ve never SEEN them quite this vicious!” “Well,” answers Riley, “Can you blame them? After the way Wild and Dangerous treated them at the PPV, I should think that they have every right to come out here and take the fight to them!” BANG! BANG! Virtually simultaneously, Royal and Maddix slam their respective victim’s faces into the steel stairs outside the ring! They then each roll them underneath the bottom rope into the ring and climb onto the apron after them, enabling referee Eddy Long to finally signal the timekeeper to officially start the match. DING! DING! DING! Todd and Landon enter the ring and continue their assault, standing their respective victims up into the corners on opposing sides of the ring, and hammering away at their heads and chests with clubbing forearms. They glance back towards each other in order to decide upon their next action. Nodding in agreement, they each grab the wrist of their opponent and whip them towards the center of the ring, but Wildchild, his reflexes working overtime, leaps into the air on the dead run, and the Barracuda uses his superior strength to reverse Maddix… WHACK! … Sending the Disciple directly into a running dropkick from the Wildchild! “What an amazing reversal of fortune by Wild and Dangerous,” shouts Comet, as the fans cheer excitedly. “It looks like this match will be a good fight after all!” Todd rushes after Wildchild as he gets to his feet, but the Bahama Bomber steps to the side, and Johnny lowers his shoulder as the Messiah rushes in, scooping him into a fireman’s carry. Johnny steps out of the corner as the Human Hurricane runs towards the edge of the ring, and turns away from him as he bounces off the rope, falling backwards towards the canvas as Wildchild leaps up to grab Todd’s neck… WHAM! … Planting the Messiah with a Samoan Drop/neckbreaker combination! “Countdown,” shrieks Comet. “Who knows how much that may have hurt Royal’s already injured neck?” SMACK! As Wildchild gets to his feet, he walks right into a spinning wheel kick from the Cockroach! Maddix grabs Wildchild by the hair and pulls him to his feet, leading him over to the edge of the ring and throwing him over the top rope! Failing however to notice that the Caribbean Cruiser has landed on his feet outside the ring, Landon turns back towards the ring to locate Johnny Dangerous… THWACK! … And the Barracuda lifts him up in a bearhug, spinning him around to face the crowd, and dropping his neck on the top rope! “Stun Gun,” shouts Comet. “Johnny Dangerous got Maddix with that Hotshot-like maneuver!” Wildchild surreptitiously slides back into the ring as the Barracuda lifts Landon’s legs off the mat. He stretches the Disciple horizontally across the top rope as Wildchild bounces off the ropes and leaps into the air… WHAM! … Flying over Johnny’s head and crashing into Landon’s back with the Slam Dance! “Slam Dance,” shouts Comet, as Wildchild shoves Maddix off of the ropes. “Wild and Dangerous are on fire! The House of Todd has lost all of the advantage that they’d built up at the start of the match!” Royal sneaks up behind the Barracuda as Wildchild steps out onto the ring apron, and smashes him in the back with a clubbing double axe-handle. Turning Johnny around to face him, the Messiah grabs him by the wrist and whips him across the ring, but Johnny reverses, sending Todd into the ropes instead. The Barracuda lowers his head to deliver a backdrop, but Royal easily evades him with a running leapfrog… CRACK! … Only to be blasted in the face by Wildchild, who explodes from the ring apron to the top rope and back into the ring, nailing Todd with a flying elbow smash! “What quick thinking by the Wildchild,” exclaims Comet. “Todd Royal though that he had the situation under control, but Wildchild came off the top rope to hit that elbow before he even knew what was going on!” The Human Hurricane bounces to his feet excitedly and he and Johnny wave their arms up and down to pump up the fans! They then remove the basketball jerseys and toss them into the crowd, where the Dayton faithful clamor to get their hands on them. Wildchild pulls Landon to his feet and leads him towards the center of the ring, grabbing him by the wrist and whipping him back towards the edge of the ring. Johnny appears beside him as the Disciple bounces off the ropes, and they each loop an arm underneath those of the challenger, snatching him up off of the ground… WHAM! … And slamming him into his partner’s chest with a double-hiptoss! “Nice double-hiptoss by the champions,” says Comet, as Wild and Dangerous turn ninety degrees to face the other edge of the ring. Johnny grabs Wildchild by the wrist and whips him towards the ropes, but the Bahama Bomber quickly spins around on his heel and sends his partner in instead. “What do you suppose is going on here,” asks Comet, as Johnny bounds off the ropes. Wildchild bends down to shoot the single-leg as his partner draws near and lifts him up off of the canvas, sending him sailing through the air as he falls backwards… SPLASH! … And crashing into Landon and Todd yet again, this time with a flapjack-body splash! “Tremendous maneuver by Wild and Dangerous,” screams Comet. “And that’s one of the things that makes them so effective as a tag team! They’re not afraid to put their own bodies in jeopardy to inflict damage on their opponents!” “That’s not what wrestling is about,” snaps Riley in response. “Those two are a black eye on this noble profession! The sign on the marquee says ‘wrestling,’ Todd damn it, not ‘circus,’ or ‘stuntman exhibition!’ These two are setting bad examples for the kids that are going to come after them, and some poor schmuck is going to get himself killed trying to be like THESE two schmucks! That’s why we need a team like the House of Todd, whom the kids can really look up to and praise, to become the new Tag Team Champions! And mark my words, Comet; before the cock crows, the referee’s hand will strike three times, proclaiming Royal and Maddix to be victorious! So it is written in the Book of Todd; so it shall be done!” Wildchild and Johnny pull Maddix off of Royal and to his feet, each grabbing him by a wrist and once again whipping him towards the edge of the ring. The Tag Team Champions suddenly thrust their legs into the air as the Disciple bounces off of the ropes… CRACK! … Blasting him in the face with a double-superkick! The fans erupt as Maddix falls backwards through the ropes and out to the floor! “Chicklet Buster,” shrieks Comet. “They just took Maddix out of this contest!” Johnny and Wildchild hold their arms above their heads and cross them together before pumping them up and down rapidly. The fans seem unsure of what this means until the Barracuda pulls Todd to his feet and traps him in a front facelock as he directs Wildchild to head out onto the ring apron. Wildchild turns to face the crowd as Johnny casually tosses Royal’s hand over the back of his neck to set up a vertical suplex. “Oh my word,” moans Comet. “It appears that Wild and Dangerous is attempting to perform that super spike piledriver that they used to retain the titles at From the Fire! The last time they did this, Todd ended up in a neck brace! If they hit it again, he could be paralyzed for life!” “Someone has got to stop this,” squeals Riley. “Surely there must be some Divine intervention to save Todd!” As Johnny prepares to lift the Messiah, Megan leaps onto the apron, gesturing frantically to attract Johnny’s attention, but only serves in getting the attention of referee Eddy Long. Long admonishes her to leave the ring apron, and Wildchild points her out to his partner. Johnny, nonplussed by the situation, casually yells, “Eh, fuck her,” and continues to lift Todd into the air. Wildchild leaps onto the top rope and prepares to spring into ring… … When Landon Maddix, in a desperate attempt to protect his Savior, leaps onto the ring apron behind Wildchild and pushes the top rope out from underneath his feet, causing the Tropical Tumbler to fall backwards outside the ring… CRUNCH! … And land on the back of his head on the padded arena floor! Johnny drops Royal and immediately rushes to the edge of the ring to check on his partner, who is lying motionless outside the ring. “Oh my GOD,” shrieks Comet. “Did you see what Maddix just did? He could have broken Wildchild’s neck right there!” “Praise Todd,” sighs Riley. “Todd’s Will prevails yet again! Landon Maddix comes to the aid of our Lord Todd, striking down the heathen Wildchild, and shifting the momentum of this match back in favor of the House of Todd!” In a state of rage, Johnny grabs Maddix by the neck and dangles him over the edge of the ring, trying to squeeze the life out of him… WHAM! … Buying Todd the time he needs to sneak up behind the Barracuda and wrap his arms around his waist, popping his hips as he jerks Johnny off the mat and backwards, dropping him on his head with a devastating German suplex! “Beautiful German by Todd,” admires Riley, as Todd rolls over onto his stomach. “Now that’s what wrestlers are supposed to do, Comet!” “But does Todd still have enough left to capitalize on it,” wonders Comet. Todd pulls himself to his knees as Landon crawls underneath the bottom rope to return to the ring. The Disciple helps his Savior to His feet, and Royal looks at him with an approving nod. They walk over to Johnny and pull him to his feet… BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! … Using a series of rapid-fire punches to force him back to the edge of the ring. The challengers each grab one of his arms and whip the Barracuda’s arms and whip him across the ring. Johnny rebounds, and the House steps in looking to land a double clothesline… but Johnny ducks down at the last second and blows past, heading to the ropes directly behind the House of Todd! He leaps into the ropes as he turns his back to them and just as Megan Skye reaches up and pulls the top rope down, causing Johnny to go tumbling out of the ring… WHAM!! … And slam face first into thinly padded concrete floor! “What a dumb ass,” crows Riley. “He’s a Secret Agent and yet he can’t even tell where the ropes are at!” “It’d help if Megan Skye wasn’t there pulling them down,” Comet retorts. “And this isn’t the first time tonight she has tried to involve herself with this match!” “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” says Bobby. “I didn’t see a thing; Johnny simply fell out of the ring.” Eddy Long rushes towards the edge of the ring, scolding Megan once more for her actions and threatening to remove her, but she innocently throws her arms up as if she had nothing to do with it. “Well at least the Referee seems to have seen something,” notes Comet. “He hasn’t seen a Todd damn thing; he’s just trying to act like he’s in the know.” Before Long can say anything else, Todd slides out of the ring and cuts loose with a series of vicious stomps into Johnny’s back just as the Barracuda had begun to push himself off the floor! WHAM!! WHAM!! WHAM!! And as the stomps rain down on Johnny, the boos come roaring out from the crowd! “If these people think that’s going to put a damper on this party, their seriously deluded,” quips Bobby, as Landon slides out too and adds a few kicks of his own! Reaching down and grabbing a handful of Johnny’s slick black mane, Landon pulls the Barracuda to his feet with Todd throwing in a few quick jabs just to keep Johnny subdued. Maddix grabs Johnny by his wrist and steps forward, whipping Johnny across the floor… CRACK! … And right into the steel post! Johnny’s head bounces of the ring post like a well-aired basketball, sending him staggering backwards as Todd rushes past then comes charging back towards the Secret Agent and SLAMS his arm into Johnny’s neck! “Oh,” shouts Bobby, “and the House of Todd is completely decimating the Barracuda! We’re going to be crowning new Tag Champs tonight for sure!” “Don’t count your chickens before they hatch,” says Comet, “this match is far from over yet as the House of Todd will still have to deal with the likes of the Wildchild… and speaking of the devil, he’s crawling back into the ring now.” Sure enough, the Bahama Bomber has made it back into the ring, but not without grabbing the attention of the Savoir and His Disciple, who both quickly slide back into the ring, looking much like a pack of hungry dogs ready to pounce on their prey! “Yeah, but look at him,” says Bobby, “Wildchild must have come down even harder on his neck than I originally suspected… he’s holding onto it rather dearly.” But suddenly the Bahaman rushes forward and peppers Todd’s face with a series of right hands, much to the joy of the crowd! BAP! BAP! BAP! He then quickly spins around and slams the corner of his elbow into the side of Landon’s head, just as the Cockroach moves in to intercept and knocks him flat on his back! “Wildchild’s fighting for his life in there,” roars Comet, “and not letting that bruised neck slow him down or stop him from grasping a firm hold on the victory!” Dashing across the ring, Wildchild lets his hand go to his neck with the spare second he has and work the kink out, but the distraction lets his concentration slip, for even the slightest moment, and of course Todd Royal is there to take advantage! As the Bahama Bomber bounces off the ropes he swings out his foot for a leg lariat, but the Savoir ducks under and pops up from behind, reaching around and grabbing onto Wildchild’s neck… WHAM!! … And pulls him down with a quick Neck-Breaker! “Perhaps we were a little too quick on that neck comment eh, Comet,” says Bobby, jabbing the Masked Crusader in the side with his elbow. “And I don’t think the House of Todd is going to forget about that tender spot, either!” “I suspect Todd wouldn’t, especially,” says Comet. “His neck couldn’t even take as much abuse as the Wildchild’s could.” Todd floats over Wildchild and hooks the leg, reeling back on it with a cover as Landon gets back to his feet and watches on with greedy anticipation for the titles that are about to be his! ONE! TWO! KICK OUT! “A two count for the House of Todd,” says Comet. “It’s going to take more than that to keep Citizen Child down!” “Once again, Comet,” says Bobby, with an exasperated tone. “If Todd wanted the match to end right there He would have; it was His will for Wildchild to kick out at that point.” Rolling over onto his knees, Wildchild grits down on his teeth as the pain begins to flow from his neck. One hand reaches up instinctively to gently massage it until Todd smacks it away and grabs the Caribbean Cruiser by his head, forcefully jerking him to his feet and then slapping on a front facelock! Todd slings Wildchild’s arm over his shoulder then reaches down and grabs hold of the Bahaman’s waistline… then Landon takes the other side, dangling Wildchild’s arm over his shoulder and grabbing a chunk of the Caribbean Cruiser’s waist. Bobby taps his sacred Book of Todd and nods at Comet as if to say ‘I told you so’ as Landon and Todd take Wildchild off his feet and slam him just as quickly down into the mat with a Double Snap Vertical Suplex! WHAM!! “And we have a cover,” shouts Bobby. ONE! TWO! T-NOOOOO! “Kick out just after two,” exclaims Comet. “They’re getting closer by the minute, though.” “Absolutely,” agrees Riley. “Wildchild needs to quit trying to avoid the inevitable and just stay down. He’s just going to bring more of Todd’s wrath down on him, and he is already in a bad way!” Royal grabs Wildchild by the hair and drags him over to the edge of the ring as Johnny pulls himself to his feet outside the ring, laying his throat across the middle rope. Landon distracts the referee as the Messiah runs across the ring to bounce off the ropes… But the Barracuda slides back into the ring and scrambles to his feet before Todd rebounds… CRACK! … Thrusting his foot sharply through the air to blast him with a Johnny Kick! “Johnny Kick,” shouts Comet, as Todd collapses to the mat. “By Thor’s Hammer, what a Johnny Kick!” Landon quickly turns around, astonished to see his Savior lying on the canvas, and Johnny standing before him. Enraged, He rushes at the Barracuda, blasting him in the face with a barrage of punches that force him back against the edge of the ring. Grabbing him by the wrist, Maddix whips Johnny across the ring and leaps into the air as he rebounds off the ropes, wrapping his legs around the Barracuda’s neck and arching backwards, taking him over in a beautiful rana! “But that’s why Todd Royal has a Disciple,” chimes Riley, as Maddix helps Todd to his feet. “Those two move like a well-oiled machine, and you’re about to see some tag team wrestling at its finest!” Todd and Landon pull Johnny to his feet and each grab an arm, whipping him back across the ring… WHAM! … But the Barracuda raises both arms as he explodes off the ropes, knocking both men down with a double-clothesline! Wildchild begins to recover and the crowd’s cheers increase in intensity as Johnny pulls Todd to his feet and leads him across the ring, tossing him over the top rope, but the Messiah lands on his feet on the apron! Johnny continues forward to finish what he started… WHACK! … But the quick-thinking Royal locks his hands behind Johnny’s head and drops off of the apron, clotheslining the Barracuda on the top rope! Johnny staggers backwards towards the center of the ring as Royal climbs back onto the apron… BANG! … And Maddix spins him around, trapping him in a front facelock before kicking his leg out and dropping the Barracuda face-first into the canvas with a Snap DDT! “Beautiful DDT by Landon Maddix,” cries Riley, as Royal applauds from the apron… SMACK! … But before he can react, Wildchild runs over to the Savior and delivers a kneelift to his midsection that nearly knocks him back off the apron! Todd is barely able to grab onto the top rope to keep himself from falling, and the Human Hurricane takes advantage of his compromised position, leaping fearlessly over the top rope and grabbing hold of Royal by his waistline as he flies by, pulling him backwards off the apron… WHAM! … And down to the thinly padded floor with a Sunset Flip Powerbomb! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! “Oh,” Comet winces at the impact, as Wildchild leans back against the ring apron. “That was a brutal takedown by the Wildchild!” “How can he do that to Todd,” whines Riley. “Doesn’t he know that it’s a mortal sign to take Todd in vain?” Johnny still out, Landon rises to his feet and runs over to the edge of the ring, leaning through the ropes and grabbing Wildchild by the hair, pulling him back into the ring. BAM! BAM! BAM! Maddix hammers Wildchild in the face before grabbing him by the wrist and whipping him across the ring, leaping off the mat in anticipation of Wildchild rebounding off the ropes, but the Tropical Tumbler grabs onto the top rope to stop his momentum, staring face-to-face with the Disciple as Johnny begins to recover beside him. Wildchild takes a step closer to the center of the ring, placing the Johnny behind him, and the fans begin to chant in anticipation of what they think may become the final showdown: LET’S GO, DUB-CEE! LET’S GO! CLAP! CLAP! LET’S GO, DUB-CEE! LET’S GO! CLAP! CLAP! LET’S GO, DUB-CEE! LET’S GO! CLAP! CLAP! LET’S GO, DUB-CEE! LET’S GO! CLAP! CLAP! “Looks like we’ve got a standoff here,” says Comet, as Wildchild continues to look across the ring at Landon, snarling and gnashing his teeth, all while clandestinely just trying to buy a little more time for his partner to get back to his feet. Growing increasingly impatient, Landon finally charges Wildchild, raising his arm to deliver a wild punch, but the Bahama Bomber easily ducks underneath, and emerges behind him. Maddix stops himself from continuing on towards the ropes, however, as Johnny suddenly pops back to his feet in front of him! Startled, the Disciple turns back towards the center of the ring… CRACK! … And walks right into a shuffling sidekick from Wildchild! Maddix staggers backwards the edge of the ring, into the waiting arms of the Barracuda, who scoops him up into a torture-rack position before spinning around and planting him into the canvas with an: “MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII… ” SA-LAAAAAM!! Landon is absolutely DRILLED into the mat, neck and shoulders first with Johnny’s devastating finisher, grabbing an enormous pop from the crowd! Johnny stays lying on his back for a moment, then suddenly jumps back to his feet and stalks over towards the heap of a mess formerly known as Landon Maddix and drops down for a cover. As expected, Long slides in to count… … But his attention is diverted when Megan Skye hops up on the apron to force her way into the ring. Long quickly leaps back to his feet and rushes to the side of the ring to block Megan from getting inside… however it doesn’t stop the crowd from counting for the referee: ONE! TWOOO! THREEEE! “If only Referee Long would have made that count,” grumbles Comet. “Damn that woman’s constant interference!” “Leave her be,” snaps Bobby. “She’s just doing her job; which is to make sure Todd’s Will comes into fruition… and I think she’s doing a damn fine job at it!” “Well if its Todd’s Will, then He can rise himself up off the floor and come care of His business himself,” replies Comet. Johnny finally takes note of the referee’s absence having not heard a bell ring, and pops up to his feet. Seeing the disturbance, he stomps over towards the edge of the ring, admonishing Eddy Long for not making the count and even more so towards Megan Skye for causing the ruckus! “Come on, Ref,” pleads Comet. “Remove her from ringside!” Unknown to Johnny, however, Landon begins to crawl to his feet having received enough time to piece himself back together, and slowly crawls over towards Johnny. Realizing Maddix’s positing, Wildchild suddenly blurts out, “WATCH OUT, JOHNNY!” … But before the Barracuda has the chance to even register the warning he finds himself on the wrong end of a textbook schoolboy roll up! Megan quickly points out the pin fall to the referee, who drops to his knees and begins to count, even as the Bahama Bomber rushes across the ring to break up the pinfall. Megan gleefully watches in anticipation, Wildchild out of her field of vision, bobbing up and down on her heels and clapping her hands together! ONE! TW— CRACK! “Nice save by Wildchild,” relays Comet. “Maddix didn’t make sure that he was out of position before trying to get the pin there!” Frustrated, Maddix gets to his feet and steps towards Johnny again… WAP! … But he is pelted in the back of the head by a hard right from Wildchild! The Disciple staggers forward… WAP! … Only to be met a second time by Johnny, who swings out his fist and slams it straight into Landon’s kisser! WHAM! Wild and Dangerous merge on Landon, jabbing him with punch after punch, and beating him across the ring into the ropes with Megan still standing on the apron only shouting for Landon to fight back! Johnny, finally having heard enough steps away from Landon and strolls right up to Megan. “You want to be in this match so bad,” roars Johnny, as he grabs Megan by the back of her head. “Then come on in!” And with that, he pulls her over the top rope, flipping her into the ring to an enormous pop from the crowd! “OH MY TODD,” cries Bobby. “Johnny Dangerous has just lost his mind!” “The hell he has,” snaps Comet. “Megan seems to want to be in the match so bad, and she has interfered constantly! It’s high time that Wild and Dangerous dealt with her!” Megan scurries across the mat, trying to make her escape as Johnny stalks her down, but Landon growls in anger and rushes in with an elbow smash, blasting the Barracuda in his forehead! CRACK! Johnny is dropped to one knee, and Landon bolts for the ropes while Johnny cradles the side of his head… WHAM! … But as the Cockroach turns to make his dash he runs smack into a dropkick from the Bahama Bomber! “Missile Dropkick by the Wildchild,” calls Comet, as Maddix flops to the mat. “I think Landon might have forgotten that he was even there!” “Johnny,” calls Wildchild, pointing his fingers towards the turnbuckle. Johnny nods towards his partner, and heads towards the turnbuckle as Wildchild heads to the opposing one. “Here it comes,” shouts Comet, the fans rising in anticipation and loudly cheering. “Wild and Dangerous have decided to take this one on home!” Wildchild leaps from one turnbuckle, rotating his body forward and pumping his arms and legs together to execute a shooting-star frog splash, as Johnny leaps from the opposite turnbuckle, twisting his body around and extending his leg… WHAM! … And smashes into Landon with a corkscrew leg drop precisely as Wildchild lands the shooting-star frog splash! “Extinction Level Event!” shouts Comet, “This match is over; it’d take the Hulk to kick out of that one and incredible it would be!” Wildchild drops down over Landon and Johnny dog piles on top. Once more Long drops to count… ONE! TWOOOO! THREE! DING! DING! DING! “They’ve done it,” cheers Comet, as “Y.O.U.” begins to pound out from the speakers, though hardly audible with the roar of cheers coming from the crowd! “Wild and Dangerous wins with the Extinction Level Event!” Eddy Long retrieves the Tag Team Title belts from the ringside assistant, then glides over towards Wildchild and Johnny Dangerous, handing them back their belts before grabbing an arm of each man and raising it in victory. “The winners of this bout,” announces Funyon, jumping up from his seat, “and STIIIIIL the SWF Tag Team Champions of the WOOOOORLD… WILD! AAAAAND DAAAAANGEROUUUUUUUUSS!!!!” “What an absolute outrage,” declares Bobby, throwing his Book down in disgust. “This goes against everything that was written in the Book of Todd.” “Perhaps it’s about time you tossed that book out, Citizen Robert,” Comet replies. “I don’t think it’s *ever* come through on anything… Besides if you want to lay the blame on someone, lay it on Megan Skye!” “How can you say such things, Comet,” snaps Bobby. “Look at her, she might not make it through the night! She’s already pretty shaken up and you’re going to try and add a pound of guilt on top of that.” “Relax,” answers Comet, “she’ll be fine. Had she not been so adamant about trying to constantly interfere she might not have found herself in such a position, and the House of Todd might have done even better without her cheating!” “Feh to that, I say.” “Well, we still have one more match to go. Coming up next, Citizens; Toxxic and Jimmy Liston take on the returning Tom Flesher and a *mystery* partner of Tom’s choosing.” “Hmph! If the mystery partner doesn’t turn out to be Michael Craven than I’m going to be severely disappointed,” says Bobby, quite crossly. “We’ll I seriously doubt that, but we’ll all find out exactly who it is when we return, so stay tuned, we’ll be right back!” As we: FADE OUT Edited March 24, 2004 by realitycheck Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
the.weej 0 Report post Posted March 23, 2004 As SWF Smarkdown returns from the commercial break, the time for hype has ended! However, no sooner has that time expired than the lights go out! “THIS MONSTER LIVES~” The crowd explodes~ and rise to their feet as the SWF World Heavyweight Champion makes his entrance, coming hrough the curtain with the title wrapped around his waist! Charlie Matthews takes his time getting to the ring, absorbing the fans’ cheers. “We’re back on SWF Smarkdown, fans,” Cyclone Comet announces, “but I’m not sure why Charlie Matthews is on his way out to the ring, as he’s not scheduled to wrestle tonight!” “Well, he said he wanted to get some time to speak, Comet, and this is his chance!” Bobby Riley responds with a grunt, “although I doubt he’ll have anything interesting to say.” Charlie reaches the ring and climbs up onto the apron, stepping through the ropes and walking over to Funyon and asking for his mircophone. Funyon complies with the champion, handing Grappler the stick as Matthews thanks Funyon and then turns towards the center of the ring. “Well, it seems as if I won’t be getting a chance to step in the ring tonight, fans.” Grappler’s opening sentence receives a round of boos from the crowd, although some stray cheers can be heard, likely from those who are still tired of the boring wrestling style of Matthews. “No, no, I’m glad, actually. I’d like to thank Commissioner Stevens a chance to take a breather. As some of you can probably imagine, winning the SWF World Title can take a lot out of you.” The boos are turned into cheers for the fan favorite champion, and a small grin crawls across the Grappler’s face. “And I really don’t care what anyone says, I think that Commissioner Mark Stevens is the best damn leader we could ask for in the SWF!” More cheers in recognition of Grand Slam. “Well, I don’t know if I’d agree with that,” Riley argues, “I was happy with King, myself!” “Commissioner Slam is an upstanding citizen, Robert, unlike that cheating and lying Suicide King!” “Blasphemy, you say!” “And speaking of those naysayers,” Matthews continues, interrupting the commentators, “I’d like to turn my attention to John Duran.” An amazing round of boos explodes from the mouths of the fans, and even Grappler seems a little surprised at the reaction from the live audience. “Yes, I know, I’m not a big fan of him, either. See, he considers himself the leader of the Unnamed, but after Terrence Bailey broke his neck, I must say that I’ve faced much more worthy opponents than John Duran!” Cheers, the crowd is absolutely eating up Grappler’s every word! “In fact, with his neck in that brace, John Duran is half the main that Va’aiga will ever be!” The crowd roars with approval for Grappler’s speech-- NO~ NO~ NOTORIOUS~ Spineshank’s “Synthetic” strikes up and Grappler looks towards the entranceway as the crowd is overcome with their hatred of John Duran and immediately begin to boo the SmarkTron showing Duran’s face and his “greatest hits,” as Duran doesn’t even step through the curtain! “Yeah!” Riley yells, “now we get to here another side of the story!” Grappler’s attention is turned fully to the entranceway as he stands at the edge of the ring closest to the big video screen, a smirk on his face waiting to burst out laughing looking at the Notorious One in the neck brace... “Where is Citizen Duran,” Comet wonders out loud. Comet gets his answer as Riley spots something. “Who’s that jumping over the barrier?” Riley points to his right as a man hops the barrier. Once he slides into the ring rather swiftly, the identity of this guardrail-jumping man is revealed... JOHN DURAN! “Turn around, Citizen Matthews!” Comet tries to warn the champion, but it is far too late as Duran sneaks up behind Charlie and puts him in an inverted fireman’s carry! “Synthetic” comes to an abrupt end but the boos rage on louder than ever! “Yes, yes, yes!” Riley is besides himself as he watches Duran lift Charlie Matthews up onto his shoulders! With a swing of his body, he sends the bulky frame of Matthews around the back of his shoulders and then drops down to the mat on his back, slamming the chin of Charlie against his shoulder and snapping the champion’s head back with a Blunt Force Trauma! “BLUNT FORCE TRAUMA!” Riley and Comet both yell in unison. Duran gets to his feet, taking his neck brace up and throwing it to the crowd as the boos do not cease, only getting louder as the Notorious One yells obscenities at the crowd and gives them a proud middle finger, moving his head from side-to-side to show that he’s better than ever! “Duran is back, he’s baaaaaack!” Riley is almost orgasmic in his glee, but Comet is not as cheerful. “I almost hoped that there would be some justice in this world and that Duran would remain with that neck brace on!” Duran turns around to Grappler on the ground and immediately begins to stomp away on the crowd, only inciting the crowd further and making the boos almost deafening inside the arena as the boots slam into Grappler’s head and neck, aggravating the pain from the Blunt Force Trauma! “Someone put a stop to this!” Comet demands as Riley cackles. Suddenly, the boos turn to a roar of cheers! “...What’s going on?” Riley wonders again. It’s Ann Onita! Grappler’s partner from the last show speeds down the aisle, and Duran notices her out of the corner of his eye and bails as Onita slides into the ring with her kendo sword and the Notorious One bails, generating a wicked amount of boos from the crowd once again as Duran escapes with a gnarled face, glaring at Ichiban as he moves around the ring out of the range of Onita and her kendo sword. Ann turns to check on the SWF Champion as Duran backs up the ramp, getting middle fingers from the crowd surrounding the entrance ramp. “What an unexpected appearance from Ann Onita! I can’t believe that she has come to the aid of the SWF Champion! This is awful!” “Citizen Onita has the honor to help out a former partner who was in desperate need of help, I don’t see how that is awful!” “You just don’t get it, Comet,” Riley finishes, giving up. The camera fades on Ann checking on the SWF Champion as the crowd cheers for Onita saving the day and the champion, Duran still escaping from the scene, healed and ready to roll. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
the.weej 0 Report post Posted March 23, 2004 The Hara Arena in Dayton, Ohio, is electric with excitement as the fans wait for the next match! A few fans are shown holding signs such as “I Have A Superiority Complex,” “Liston’s No Champ” and one particularly creative “Toxxic Shock Syndrome” sign accented with a caricature of Toxxic as a tampon. “Well, the FCC’s going to be after us,” murmurs Bobby Riley. The crowd is clearly partisan, with many of them decked out in the brand-new Superior-1 hockey jersey, and much more anti-Toxxic sentiment in the crowed despite the occasional ‘sXe’ sign. In fact, as the SmarkTron lights up with a team photo of Toxxic and Jimmy Liston, the crowd bursts into a chorus off boos. The noise is quickly supplanted by roaring cheers as the photo of Tom Flesher with a silhouetted partner replaces it, and the fans continue cheering as the camera settles on Riley and Cyclone Comet. “Well, fans,” says Comet, “we certainly have an odd match on our hands tonight. The returning former World Heavyweight Champion, ‘the Superior One’ Tom Flesher, is set to make his in-ring return against Toxxic and Jimmy ‘the Demon’ Liston in this tag team match, but we still have no idea who Flesher’s partner is going to be.” “Maybe it’s going to be his big freaking ego,” says Riley, rolling his eyes. “That thing’s got to be able to get in the ring on its own, judging by the size of it. Of course, you’re going to see it shrink to about half its size after he gets nailed with Toxxic Shock Syndrome. This kid’s been eating the veterans alive!” “And you call Flesher’s ego too big? Toxxic needs to be knocked down a peg,” says Comet, “and I think Tom Flesher and his mystery partner are just the people to do it. Besides, what was Toxxic thinking, picking Jimmy Liston to be his partner?” “Obviously he knows he can take Flesher and whoever he has to bring with him to finish the job singlehandedly,” Riley ventures. “Of course, Flesher’s going to go out on his back, regardless of who’s on the other side.” “I don’t know about that,” says Comet. “But with that in mind, let’s go to the ring.” Funyon steps into the ring, holding his mic, and addressed the crowd. “Ladies and gentlemen,” he says, “the following tag team match is scheduled for one fall, and it is your MAIN EVENT!” The crowd applauds, and Funyon continues. “Making their way to the ring…” The heavy guitars of Lostprophets’ “We Still Kill The Old Way” kick in, and the words “Prepare To Be Proved Wrong” flash one after another on the SmarkTron, the letters a jagged white on the black background. The picture then cuts to footage of Toxxic pulling Mike Van Siclen off a balcony and slamming him through a table with the Toxxic Shock Syndrome, the landing timed to coincide with... GO! ...two red jets of pyro going off either side of the entrance way and the SmarkTron showing a close up of Toxxic’s face smiling his distinctive lopsided grin. The disturbing shot cuts to further clips of the Toxxic Shock’s matches. “At a total combined weight of 456 pounds, the team of Jimmy ‘the Demon’ Liston and the Hardcore Gamers and Intercontinental/Television double champion, TOXXXXXXXXXXXXXIC!!!!” As the main riff hammers out through the speakers Toxxic comes out towards the squared circle, shirt hanging open, visibly worked up for the match. He wears each belt over one shoulder, with Jimmy Liston walking behind him in his red and black attire. Toxxic stops a short distance from the ring, cracking his neck and talking to himself before rushing it, scaling a ringpost and making the Straight Edge symbol to the crowd with a belt hanging from each hand. Liston slides into the ring and mounts a buckle as well, and the crowd responds by booing both of them. “And listen to that reaction,” Comet says. “Toxxic was so popular when he debuted, but all he’s done is anger them since he picked up those championships.” “Well, what the hell good are the fans, anyway? Toxxic learned quickly that they’re no use, so why bother pandering to them?” Toxxic’s theme fades, and the fans go quiet. The lights dim, and for a moment, everything is quiet. Then, as the SmarkTron lights up, and the guitars begin to vibrate through the arena, the fans leap to their feet! They begin to roar with approval as the Philosopher Kings’ “I Am The Man” rocks out through the arena, accompanied by a burst of blue pyro. The SmarkTron breaks into the video. Ego Buster! SUPERIOR ONE Boilermaker! AWARD-WINNING Ego Trip! MAIN ATTRACTION Logical Disconnect! THE MAN The fans continue screaming, thrilled to be in attendance for Tom Flesher’s return to in-ring action! As the smoke clears from the entrance, the Superior One steps out from behind the curtain, prompting another huge pop from the Dayton-area crowd. He stands on the platform in his warm-up suit, folding his arms across his chest and smirking in a self-satisfied manner. He stands there for a few seconds, and is rewarded with a spraying backdrop of white pyro that reduces him to a silhouette. He stays on the ramp, alone, as the music fades out, and everything stops. “Well,” says Comet, “this is unusual…” “Maybe Flesher’s burned so many bridges in the back that he doesn’t even have a partner!” cackles Riley. “Wouldn’t that be incredible? Flesher against Toxxic and Liston all alone?! I’d pay for that!” “You’re an employee, Robert. You’d be issued a free catwalk pass.” Riley sighs. “Sometimes, Comet, I wonder if you just don’t miss the point on purpose.” A few more seconds of silence pass before…. ::Crack!!!:: “Oh my god,” murmurs Riley. The crowd, simply put, explodes! The crack of a bat and the roar of the crowd announce “Grand Slam” Mark Stevens! It quickly fades into the opening drumline of “Go Home” by Blessid Union of Souls. The SmarkTron lights up with baseball highlights mixed with big spots from Grand Slam's matches while flashing the words “Grand Slam,” “Mark Stevens: and “The Heavy Hitter.” The various multicolored lights flash in time with the rhythmic drumbeats until the drums roll fast and the lead singer yells out "Go Home", then the arena is flooded with bright white light!! Red and white pyro explodes at the top of the entrance ramp!! When the smoke clears and everyone can see again, "Grand Slam" Mark Stevens is standing underneath the SmarkTron!!! The crowd erupts in even more cheers for the Heavy Hitter!!! “Their opponents,” says Funyon, “at a total combined weight of 521 pounds, they are ‘the Superior One’ Tom Flesher and SWF Commissioner ‘Grand Slam’ Mark Stevens!” As Funyon makes his announcement, Grand Slam runs back and forth on the stage pumping his fists as Tom Flesher sits back grinning! The Heavy Hitter and the Superior One walk down the ramp together, savoring every moment of cheers and pointing at various fans, slapping hands and keeping them screaming! Tonight, as the camera zooms in, Stevens is shown wearing a Cincinnati Reds baseball cap!! When the crowd sees this, they cheer even louder, nearly drowning out the music! Grand Slam steps into the ring between the ropes and heads to a ringpost as Flesher sits back in an adjacent corner. He then climbs to the second turnbuckle, looks at the crowd, then pumps his right fist into the air several times, firing the crowd up even more and causing a flurry of flashbulbs to pop, illuminating the ring like a strobe-light!! Before dropping back to the mat, Grand Slam flings his cap out to the crowd, giving some lucky fan a unique souvenir from the SWF!!! “Grand Slam!” shouts Comet. “Tom Flesher’s partner is Grand Slam! The Heavy Hitter hasn’t been in the ring in nearly two years, since being retired by Edwin MacPhisto!” “Ah, the Suicide King,” beams Riley. “I’ll never forget that – it was a thing of beauty!” Flesher leans in the corner, stripping off his warm-up and carefully stretching out. Grand Slam sheds his varsity jacket, handing it and Flesher’s warm-up to the ring attendant. Stevens’ knee brace is conspicuous, and he carefully pumps the knee a few times before he and Flesher lean in and discuss strategy while Toxxic and Liston do the same. “You know,” says Riley, “they announced the combined weight as 521 pounds. I know Grand Slam runs about 286, and he hasn’t been training extra hard lately, so he hasn’t bulked up at all. If I do my math correctly, that leaves Flesher at… 235 pounds! Wow!” “Of course Flesher put on some weight during his hiatus,” says Comet dismissively, “but I’m sure he also added weight to his workout routine and increased strength. He’ll cut weight to be back down to 213 in no time.” “He’ll cut weight so he doesn’t look like a blimp! Look at him, Comet!” After a few more seconds of discussion, Grand Slam and Toxxic both step out of the ring, leaving Flesher and Liston to start the match. Referee Ced Ordonez calls for the bell. DING DING DING!!! Flesher and Liston move toward the center of the ring, but the crowd quickly picks up a chant. “GRAND SLAM! GRAND SLAM! GRAND SLAM!” Flesher, ever the showman, backs away, playfully ‘begging off’ to keep Liston from attacking him. He backs to the corner and points to the Commissioner, and the crowd goes wild! “It looks like the crowd wants to see the Heavy Hitter start this match off,” notes Comet. “I bet they’ve got three minutes in the knee-dislocation pool,” Riley deadpans. Flesher reaches up, leaving his hand in the air, and Stevens slaps it! The crowd goes wild as Flesher politely holds the ropes, and the Commissioner enters the ring! Liston, for his part, just sneers. “You put Stevens in the ring with Jimmy Liston, and he’s going to end up just like his tights – black and blue!” Riley says. “Now wait just a minute,” Comet protests. “Mark Stevens is a great natural athlete, and he’s been training regularly ever since he retired. He may have been injured a few times, but he’s still in shape!” Stevens steps to the center and stands toe-to-toe with Liston. The crowd goes wild as he reaches up and grabs his opponent in a collar-and-elbow tie, the first action of the match. The commish and the Demon jockey for position, fighting to try to gain the early advantage. Flesher leans forward, shouting encouragement to his partner as Liston fights his way into Grand Slam and forces him back into a neutral corner. The fans boo as Ced Ordonez interjects himself, breaking the lock before Liston can do anything. Liston obediently backs away, but as soon as Ordonez averts his eyes, the Demon nails Stevens with a right hand! The crowd boos, but Stevens comes out of the corner fighting! He slams Liston in the face with a fist of his own, then unleashes a knife-edge chop across his chest! SMACK!!!! The crowd, into the match as always and especially thrilled to see Stevens in control, shows its approval with a shout in unison of “WHOO!” Liston staggers backwards, but Stevens nails him with another chop! SMACK!!!! (WHOO!) He follows up with another… SMACK!!!! (WHOO!) … and finally shoves Liston backwards into Flesher’s corner! The fans cheer as Stevens reaches out, and Flesher tags himself in! “And now Tom Flesher gets to enter the ring,” says Comet. “The former World Champion hasn’t wrestled in over a month, but somehow I doubt he’s lost his touch.” Flesher enters the ring, and takes half a step back from Liston. Jimmy comes out of the corner, and Flesher quickly drops to one knee, snagging his opponent’s arm and pulling him across his shoulders with an amateur-style fireman’s carry takedown! Liston is on the mat before he knows what hit him, and Flesher stands back up in control of his left arm. Liston stands back up, and Flesher yanks his arm, pulling him into a short-arm palm strike! Jimmy collapses to the mat, and Tom covers him for ONE! but no more, as the Demon quickly kicks out. He rolls to his stomach, and Tom immediately crouches behind him while reaching under his hips to lock his hands. Liston, not quite sure what to expect, tries to stay on the mat, but Flesher lifts him with ease and bridges back fluidly for a German suplex! Liston lands on his back and shoulders, but Flesher allows him to backward-roll toward his corner. Flesher stands up, getting slowly to his feet as Liston tags in Toxxic! “And Toxxic enters the match for the first time!” Riley is clearly pleased, even as the fans boo. “I don’t care how young he is, he’s about to school the master!” Toxxic makes his way toward Flesher, who steps back and drops into a low offensive stance. Toxxic steps forward, and Flesher lets loose with a single-leg takedown! He gets caught off-guard, though, by a European uppercut to the jaw that sends him staggering backwards! The crowd once again boos, but Toxxic stays on top of Flesher and nails him with an elbow to the back of the neck! With Tom on one knee and bent over, the Straightedge Sensation pushes Flesher’s head down and rolls him onto his back, stacking him up on his shoulders by cradling his legs! Ced Ordonez drops down and counts ONE! but again, no more than that, as Flesher kicks out. “That right there,” says Riley, “is why you’re going to see Toxxic at the top of the mountain before too long. Not only has he clearly studied up on Flesher, but he’s fast enough to stop him and smart enough to try to pin him while he’s stunned instead of waiting to hit a finishing move like most of these schmucks.” “Of course, Toxxic is still quite green compared to the two veterans across the ring,” says Comet. “It’s going to be difficult to roll Tom Flesher or Mark Stevens up and succeed in securing the fall. They’re simply too smart for that.” “What, and Toxxic’s stupid? I don’t see him on his back.” Flesher rolls to his feet, with Toxxic up a beat before. As he gets to his feet, Flesher is rocked by a stiff left-handed punch! The sucker punch puts him off balance, and Toxxic nails him with a right hand! Flesher, unable to fight back, eats another left, and then a second right! Toxxic steps back, winding up like a baseball pitcher, and then spins around with a Discus Clothesline! Flesher ducks, though, and Toxxic oversteps! Flesher crouches down and nails him in the ribs with a blast double leg takedown, slamming him to the mat! The crowd bursts into cheers as Toxxic falls to the mat. Flesher stays on him, trying to get in offensive position and stretch the rookie out on the mat. As Toxxic tries to scoot for the ropes, Flesher grabs him by the head and locks on a front headlock! The fans burst into cheers as he stands up, pulling Toxxic by his head up to his feet and increasing the pressure on his neck and shoulders. Toxxic pushes into him, trying to fight his way out of the move, but Flesher quickly falls backwards and executes a lightning-fast Cement Mixer! He floats over and continues the motion, pulling Toxxic up to a sitting position. Then, keeping the vise-like headlock, Flesher wraps his legs around Toxxic’s waist and secures him in the Wet Cement submission hold! “And Toxxic can’t do much,” deadpans Comet. “He’s stuck in Wet Cement, that bodyscissors front headlock that Tom Flesher has been developing. He seems to be working those ribs, perhaps in order to make the Seventh Inning Stretch even more deadly than it is.” “I don’t think anything Alex Zenon is capable of doing can be described as ‘deadly,’ Comet.” Toxxic, panicking, flails his arms. He can’t move easily, thanks to the seated position he finds himself in, but he does reach out and graze the middle rope. Flesher tries to hold him, but Toxxic quickly reaches out again and grasps the rope. Ced Ordonez orders a break, and Flesher dutifully releases the headlock. He leans back, reaching out and tagging Mark Stevens back in! “Flesher does the damage,” says Comet, “but, failing to find a way to capitalize, he tags out to Commissioner Slam in hopes of continuing the advantage.” “Oh, that’s BS,” Riley replies. “Flesher was about to get caught in a bad position, and he’s too out of shape to do anything about it, so he bailed and he’s handing it off to the old man. Look at how hard Flesher’s breathing!” Flesher, apparently breathing normally, rolls out of the ring as Grand Slam enters once again. Toxxic, mildly fatigued, isn’t able to get to his feet in time to prevent Mark Stevens from nailing him with a fistdrop to the back of the head! Toxxic flattens out, and Stevens covers him for ONE!! TWO!!!! Toxxic, though, kicks out fairly easily. Stevens stands up, and Toxxic quickly follows suit… only to be caught and sent flying to the mat with a snap suplex by Stevens! The crowd goes nuts as Stevens rolls through, and as Toxxic gets up, Stevens grabs him and lifts him as if for a body slam. He holds Toxxic across his chest and drops to one knee, slamming the side of Toxxic’s chest down across his good knee with a ribbreaker! Toxxic hits the mat, and while lays there for a second, Stevens reaches over and tags in the Superior One! “And here we have two wrestlers who haven’t been in the ring recently taking advantage of their ring strategy to keep control of the match,” Comet notes. “The Superior Slam is maintaining its advantage by making sure to keep a fresh man in the ring at all times, which is clearly the intelligent thing to do.” “Either that, or neither of them can keep it up for more than fifteen seconds at a time,” Riley sighs. “This is just unfair. Besides, is Ordonez REALLY going to call a match fair when his boss is one of the wrestlers?” “I’ve never known Ced Ordonez to be wavered by power or hierarchy, Robert. Only by the prospect of free Sam Adams or NyQuil.” Grand Slam pulls Toxxic to the corner as Tom Flesher steps in between the ropes. He grabs Toxxic and, before the Straight-Edger can stop him, lifts him into position for a stalling vertical suplex. After holding Toxxic for a few seconds, Flesher leans forward, dropping the rookie wonder across the top rope stomach-first! The crowd cheers as Toxxic leans over the cable, holding his ribs. He starts to jump to the floor to catch his breath, but Stevens grabs him by the back of the head and throws him back into the ring! The fans applaud as Flesher leaps into the air and unleashes a vicious double-stomp on Toxxic’s back, then sits down on his lower spine and hooks his chin! Flesher slides forward, modifying the standard grip to fit his strategy. “The Superior Citizen locks in the camel clutch, sitting slightly forward of the usual position to increase the pressure on Toxxic’s ribs,” notes Comet. “The Straight-Edge Sensation is in pain, doubtless, and Flesher is hoping to set him up for the Seventh Inning Stretch.” Flesher leans back, trying to stress the rookie’s torso and force him to tap out, but Toxxic won’t be forced to give in that easily. Wanting the win, Flesher leans back even harder. Toxxic fights, trying to lean down onto the mat to ease the pressure. Flesher leans back again, and once again Toxxic forces himself down to the mat… so Flesher pushes his head down and flips forward with a Gedo clutch! The fans scream their approval as Ced counts ONE!!!! TWO!!!!! NO!!!!!!!! Toxxic kicks out, but is clearly not well. “Toxxic feels the aftereffects of the abuse on the part of Tom Flesher and Mark Stevens,” says Comet. “All this illegal double-teaming is giving me fits!” seethes Riley. “It’s like they’re not even giving Toxxic a chance to breathe!” “I believe that’s the idea, and there’s nothing illegal about it.” Flesher reaches up and tags Stevens, who enters the ring once again. He grabs Toxxic, who struggles to get away in order to tag Jimmy Liston. The Commissioner holds him, though, and spins behind, sending his arms up under his opponent’s and locking on a full nelson! The crowd screams its approval as Grand Slam fights to tighten the hold, but Toxxic struggles to reach the ropes! “Mark Stevens is looking for that Grand Slam, or possibly even the Double Play,” says Comet excitedly. “He’s much more powerful than Toxxic, but the Straightedge Sensation is fresh enough that he can fight his way to freedom.” Toxxic lunges for the ropes, but Stevens pulls him back to the center of the ring! Getting ready to hit the Grand Slam, he starts to arch his back… only to have Toxxic grab his head with both hands and quickly drop to one knee, nailing the Commissioner with a jawbreaker! Stevens staggers backwards, falling flat to the mat. The crowd boos, and before Stevens can regain any of his senses, Toxxic hooks his leg and makes the cover! ONE!!! TWO!!!!!! NO! Stevens kicks out! He still seems stunned, though, and as he rolls to his stomach, Toxxic drags him to the corner. He reaches out, tagging in Jimmy Liston and throwing Stevens into the turnbuckles. Grand Slam takes a couple of breaths before trying to force himself out of the corner, but Liston doesn’t miss a beat. As Stevens steps out of the corner, the Demon is waiting for him. With superb quickness, Liston pulls both of the Heavy Hitter’s arms up underneath his own and delivers a series of powerful headbutts right to the nose and forehead of the SWF Commissioner! “There goes Liston, Comet, delivering the Bloodlust and showing everyone why Stevens has been pushing papers instead of wrestling matches! He’s got no killer instinct left!” “I somehow doubt that, Bobbo!” But despite Comet’s vote of confidence, the Commissioner looks worse for wear as he stumbles away from Liston, who is a little stunned himself from ramming his head into Grand Slam’s several times. The Heavy Hitter sees Tom Flesher leaning over the ropes looking for the tag and starts to make his way across the ring, but Liston is just too fast. He moves behind Grand Slam just as the big man reaches for Flesher’s tag, missing it by mere inches as the Demon cinches in a waist-lock and throws Grand Slam backwards with a prime-time German Suplex! The Heavy Hitter is in agony on the mat, both hands cradling the back of his head. The Demon lives up to his billing, though, by attacking relentlessly. He pulls Grand Slam to his feet, delivers a sharp right hand to the Commissioner’s jaw, and then rockets him into the ropes! “He’s setting up for the Damnation, Comet!! I’ve been waiting for this moment since I got this gig! I get to call Grand Scam losing a match!” “Riley my friend, have you ever heard a saying about counting chickens?” Riley rolls his eyes. “I’m pretty sure Grand Slam’s going to get scrambled before the night’s through.” Liston looks for a fast kick to the gut, but Grand Slam still has the instincts he built up over years and years in the ring! He steps to the side as Liston slides by and reaches behind his head, hooking the Demon’s chin and dropping him to the mat with a hard falling neckbreaker!! With both men on the canvas, the crowd starts to get behind the Heavy Hitter, chanting “Grand Slam” over and over! Slowly, ever so slowly, he pushes himself up and starts to stagger to his corner where the Superior One is stretching out to reach for the tag! Liston sees Stevens get to his feet and knows he needs to stop the tag! He steps behind Grand Slam, grabs his arm and pulls, spinning him around right into a huge clothesline! Stevens flattens out, stunned by the blow. Liston grabs him by the leg and drags him back to the corner, where he tags Toxxic. “And after the beating Toxxic took in the other team’s corner, I’d be surprised if he’s not ready to give it all right back to Grand Slam,” Riley says. “This kid’s going to show the Commissioner that he’s not ready for another turn in the ring!” Stevens stands up, trying to move to the center of the ring, but Toxxic grabs him by the wrist. He pivots, whipping Grand Slam to the ropes. As Stevens staggers back to the center of the ring, Toxxic sidesteps him and hooks him in a reverse facelock. He drops to one knee, nailing Stevens with a reverse DDT onto the kneecap! Stevens, groggy, goes with Toxxic as he stands up again and spins fluidly, dropping to the mat with a picture-perfect diamond cutter! Stevens collapses to the mat, and the fans boo as Toxxic rolls over and covers him for ONE!!!! TWO!!!!!!! THRE- NO!!!!!! “Mark Stevens kicks out after taking the Detoxx combo,” Comet says. “I’m afraid that it doesn’t look good for the home team, Robert.” “Of course not. The ‘home team’ is a retired baseball player and a guy who hasn’t wrestled in a month.” Toxxic stands up, snagging Stevens by the wrist again. He turns once again, trying to repeat the Irish whip, but this time Grand Slam knows enough to reverse the motion and send Toxxic to the buckles instead! Toxxic, wearing a sickening grin, launches the attack he baited Stevens into. He springs to the top rope and twists, floating back at Stevens with a flying leg lariat! The Commissioner tries to catch him, but can’t avoid the blow! “Role Reversal!” shouts Riley. “He hit the Role Reversal, Comet! This one could be over!” Tenacious in looking for the pin, Toxxic hooks a leg and cradles Stevens for ONE!! TWO!!!!! THREE- Shoulder up!!!!!!!!! “Stevens, narrowly avoiding a fall, does not look good,” Comet says gravely as Tom Flesher leans over the top rope with a look of concern. “Perhaps tonight was not the night to step back into the ring, but Mark Stevens has the wrestling bug, Robert. He just can’t give it up.” “I have the wrestling bug too… I think I caught it when I was rooming with NTD.” Stevens, groggy, makes another attempt to stagger to the corner and tag Tom Flesher. It’s painfully transparent, though, and Toxxic easily stops him by hooking him by the back of his tights. He drags Stevens back to the heel corner and tags in Jimmy Liston. The Demon enters the ring as Toxxic whips Stevens to the ropes, setting Liston up with a perfect target! Liston reaches out to nail Stevens with a clothesline… but instinct kicks in again as Grand Slam snags the arms, ducks under, locks in the full nelson and lifts the Demon off his feet! The crowd goes nuts as the Heavy Hitter holds him there for a second, them sends him down hard, face first into the mat!! “Grand Slam!! Grand Slam!!” Comet screams. “The tag is imminent now!” And indeed it is as Stevens staggers one step further and makes the blazing hot tag as he drops to the mat! Seeing the inevitable, Toxxic enters the ring in hopes of containing Flesher’s rampage. The crowd pops like an overfilled balloon as Tom Flesher tears into the ring, catching a charging Toxxic with a massive palm strike that turns the youngster inside-out! Liston gets to his feet and charges Tom, only to eat another shotei as the Superior One is on fire! Toxxic rolls out of the ring as Tom lifts Liston off the mat. Irish whip into the ropes, bounce back, Flesher catches the Demon and tosses him head over heels with a picture-perfect Railgun Suplex!! Sensing the end is near, Flesher pulls the Demonic One off the mat and locks around his waist to set him up for the Ego Buster! The crowd goes absolutely wild! “No no no!! This isn’t how this is supposed to happen!” whines Bobby. “The young guys are supposed to use their youthful energy to beat the odds and rip the arms and legs off Flesher and Stevens! That’s how the story goes!” “But the story of Justice is oh so much different, Robert! It looks like Jimmy Liston is about to pay the price for Toxxic’s remarks on Storm last week!” “The story of Justice? You’re reaching, Comet…” “Yes, the Story of Justice, as told by Mark Stevens and Tom Flesher, checked out of the Library of the Universe week after week, while the Complete Anthology of Cockiness starring Liston and Toxxic sits, collecting dust.” “On the other hand, Stevens was pretty good on the stick,” Riley sighs. In the ring, Tom tightens his grip on Liston’s waist and takes a breath, but Toxxic is moving! The Straight-Edge Wonder jumps from mat to the top rope, springboards over a doubled-over Liston, catches Flesher around the chin and pulls him down to the mat hard with a modified Straight Edge! In spite of itself the crowd pops huge for the high-risk maneuver! “My God, Comet! Did you see that? Which orifice did the kid pull that little trick out of?” “Like him or not, you have to admit that Toxxic is just a spectacular performer!” “No kidding! I think we may be looking at a future World Champion here!” Toxxic pops back to his feet immediately, ready to inflict more damage on the Superior One much to the dismay of Referee Ordonez, but a large hand on his arm spinning him around stops him cold! “Grand Slam is up! The Heavy Hitter is in business again!” Toxxic looks a little surprised as Grand Slam drives his size twelve hard into the phenom’s gut, doubling him over!! To a massive pop from the Dayton fans, Mark Stevens spins his right hand over his head and signals for the Walk-Off! He pulls Toxxic in to standing head-scissors, hooks the arms, jumps back… WHAM!! “WALK-OFF! WALK-OFF! WALK-OFF!” Toxxic rebounds from the mat and hits the bottom rope, managing to roll himself under it and fall out of the ring like a sack of dead mice! Grand Slam stalks over to the ropes and bends over them, pointing at the Straight-Edger and informing him that this is his house! “Keep your eyes on the match, Commissioner!” “He’s as stupid as ever Comet! I love it!!” Behind Stevens, the Demon himself, Jimmy Liston gets to his feet, throws himself into the ropes to get up a head of steam! He barrels into the Heavy Hitter with a huge spear that sends him up and over the top rope where he lands hard on the unforgiving concrete! Totally satisfied with himself, the Demon turns back to finish off what is left of Tom Flesher only to find the Superior One on his feet! Without warning, Flesher sends a hard chop into Liston’s chest (Whoo!), then another (Whoo!). One more for good measure! (Whoo!) He grabs Liston by the arm and whips him had across the ring, but Liston reverses and sends Flesher into the ropes instead! Bounce back, Liston is looking for the spinebuster, but Flesher leaves his feet and delivers a massive, send-my-momma-a-card-I-might-cry-this-was-so-awesome Yakuza kick that drops the big man had to the mat! The crowd pops but knows something is coming so they hold their breath and wait… Flesher pulls a groggy Liston to his feet and smirks at the crowd. The crowd knows a cue when they hear one and they go completely insane as Tom wraps up Liston, springs to the top rope and delivers a powerful Ego Trip!! “Tom catches Liston sleeping and nails him with The Ego Trip! This match has to be over Bobby!” “No! This isn’t fair!” Liston hits the canvas hard! Tom drops on top of him, hooks the leg… ONE… “Toxxic’s up, Comet!!” TWO… Toxxic dives into the ring under the bottom rope, reaching for the ref trying to break up the pinfall… THREEEEEEEEE!!! But Grand Slam has him by the boot and drags him back out of the ring as the ref signals the timekeeper to ring the bell!! DING DING DING!! “Its over! What a match! Tom Flesher returns! Grand Slam comes back! And they win it! My God!!” On the outside of the ring, Toxxic lands on his feet in front of Grand Slam! The Heavy Hitter winds up for a skull-shattering punch, but the phenom brings his boot up and nails Grand Slam in the kneecap, causing the big man to stagger back and bend over, both hands flying to his wounded knee! Toxxic sees the opportunity and pulls Stevens into a standing head-scissors! As the crowd sends hate rolling down onto the young man, he jumps and spins, dropping the Commissioner to the hard concrete floor with a massive Toxxic Shock Syndrome!! “Justice is served! Grand Slam had no business getting involved in this match, and there are his just desserts!” “This is anything but justice, Bobby! Commissioner Stevens was doing what he thought was right! Toxxic had no right to attack him after the match was over!!” Tom sees Toxxic stand back up, hears the hate from the crowd and slides out of the ring behind Toxxic! But the Straight-Edge Punk is too fast for Tom as he grabs his belts and starts up the ramp with a sinister smile on his face. The Superior One kneels down next to Grand Slam, checking to see if he is OK. “I don’t care who pinned who Comet! Does Grand Slam look like a winner now or does Toxxic? That kid has a future here my friend, and it is a damn bright one if you ask me!” “I didn’t. And I won’t. All I’ll say is that I doubt this is over between Toxxic and Commissioner Stevens! There is no way he will take this lying down!” Bobby snickers. “Well Comet, that appears to be how he is taking it now…” “For now Citizen Riley, for now. And speaking of now, now it is time to go!” “Beautiful segue…” “Shush you. Goodnight SWF fans, and we will see you on Friday for Storm!” As the picture fades, the viewers at home see Grand Slam slowly sitting up and staring at the ramp, muttering something about, “That kid is going to pay…” === SWF Smarkdown, March 22, 2004. © MMIV White Apple Productions. All rights reserved. The Smarks Wrestling Federation: “Working Chicago-style, whatever that is.” Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
the.weej 0 Report post Posted March 23, 2004 Rizznults~: I'll level with you--there isn't much to recap. Check out the main event, at least, though. Card up eventually, though I'm going to post the comments thread first. I've got a few things to say... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
