Damien
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Posts posted by Damien
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I've been googling and I've seen the term "peformance wrestling" coined to describe wwe-style wrestling we know and love. They named it as such to distinguish it from mat wrestling. Now, what I'm wondering is if there have ever been competitions involving performance wrestling. Our artform gets a bad rap from the mainstream because they think its "fake" and don't grasp the fact that us fans do not in any way see this as a sport. So a large portion of the ESPN crowd shuns performance wrestling because it is not a sport. However, if competitions can be set up involving performance wrestling, then they can be shown on ESPN and WWE can find a whole new fanbase. Here's what I'm thinkin:
WWE can set up shows where their workers will compete for a decent cash prize. There can be like 6 matches set up and the wrestlers involved in the match of the night gets the prize. So basically, the wrestlers who kayfabe compete against one another (and the referee) will act as a team, competing against other matches. A panel of judges can be lined up at ringside to judge the matches. So basically, it'll be like gymnastics or figure skating (except manlier, of course). The wrestlers would have their match, then wait for the results to be posted on the TitanTron. Finally after the final match, the current scores leaders will enter the ring alongside the wrestlers who just performed. They wait for the score to be posted for the final match to see who wins Match of the Night.
Instead of promos, post-match interviews conducted during the show will ask wrestlers to analyze their performances and talk about which spots they hit or missed. The on-screen graphics during the show (like balls/strikes/inning/score during a baseball game) can tally the number of hit or missed spots. The commentators would describe the match in terms of workrate and point out which spots were timed correctly and so on (instead of any storyline nonsense that we're acustomed to).
Booking limitations can be discussed before each show (like when the rules are presented onscreen before boxing matches). I.e. "tonight's booking limitations are 1. maximum 3 wrestlers in a match. 2. No run-ins. 3. DQs and ref bumps are allowed 4. No foreign objects or steel cages 5.Time limit draws and countouts are allowed"
The WWE wrestlers can still use their stage names and ring entrances but the show would be remarkably different from a typical WWE show and this new sport can probably take on a life of its own. Finally, sports entertainment wrestlers can find themselves in the actual sports pages if they participate in these meets. I think something like this would be a smart mark dream come true.
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You know it's sad when your company tries to "work shoots" based around the fucking commentary team.EDIT: ...and the commentary team of the C show, no less.
WWE has to work shoots every opportunity they get. That being said, I really hope they address Hollywood Incest Hogan. Have Marella cut a promo in the ring asking the American audience if this is how all American fathers are with their daughters, then show the disturbing pics on the TitanTron. he'll be like "I a-see, in America, families are really close to one another, eh"
Or bring back the Huckster to demand an intergender match with Lil Hucksterette and he uses smothering grappling holds throughout the match.
it's only a matter of time before a feud starts because one wrestler will accuse another "you're the reason why benoit killed his family and himself!"
remember, controversy creates ca$h
"Incest is best, put your daughter to the test!! brother!!!" - The Hulkster
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1. Why didn't Goldberg get the WCW Championship after Starrcade '98?
2. Do you guys believe that Goldberg not having the strap was a major factor in the decline of WCW?
3. Did Macho really have Stephanie when she was a teenager?
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I still need more evidence that that was actually himAre you for real? He's looked like that for years now. Go look it up, that's what the friggin' internet is for.
dude, i aint got no time to be lookin up pics of the warrior, i barely have enough time to post here
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did you guys notice how much they loosened the ring ropes for the UW? it was ridiculous, like they figured that warrior was not strong enough nowadays to be able to shake the ring ropes like he used to, so they loosened them to the point it seemed the ropes were gonna hang to the floor. That was dumb. Plus, its sad that he's old now and just isnt the UW anymore, just an old fart. I still need more evidence that that was actually him, since, like a poster said earlier, it didnt look a thing like the UW.
They better not make him go over OJ, he's nowhere near the same level. Why did he come back to an obscure Euro Fed rather than WWE or TNA? And why do they cut promos in English in Spain and Italy without an interpreter?
anyway, those ring ropes were looser than Lita's snatch.
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after 6, i told everyone that UW would defend against the HTMan at WM7anybody else have predictions gone wrong?
Seriously? What led you to believe Honky was getting a main-event run?
I felt the Honky Tonk Man was the best heel in the WWF since Macho. I was a huge mark for Tonkey, he just knew how to be an evil bastard and get under the skin of the faces. Also, he mocked the legend of Elvis and so did "Colonel" Jimmy Hart. So hateable (to the marks), he was a grade A villain.
Anyway, I felt Rythm and Blues was holding him down and he was just too brilliant to be part of a tag team. Plus, the other heels in the WWF weren't evil enough to put on a good program with the UW. I figured the best feud the WWF can put on for WM7 was to have Honky start to talk smack about UW, calling him a bum and a freak and saying that HTM deserved a shot at the world title since he gave UW an opportunity of the IC title, which he believed he lost unfairly. It would be a slow burn, starting around summerslam time and just increasing over time with honky insulting and calling out UW more and more. He'd become more sinister and this would make him seem more dangerous in the ring. HTM cut cut some badass promos and his constant heckling of the UW week after week would have been gold. Jimmy Hart couda been wearin an UW mask during HTM's matches just to mock the current champ. HTM would develop from a cartoony heel to a seriously evil and heartless son of a bitch, whose hatred for the warrior would scare the younger fans. the heat woulda been off the charts until UW would finally accept the challenge to face HTM at WM7 for the title. the younger fans would honestly believe that HTM had a legitimate shot at winning the belt, but of course, UW would go over in Hoganian fashion. One year before WM7, i felt this would be where the WWF would be a year later and it sounded good.
who knew warrior would flop as champ and that vince would exploit the Gulf war. it's fun to make long term predictions anyway
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i got kicked out of this one forum for a missing woman who's presumed dead. its assumed her husband killed her, whos 30 years older than her. so i post saying that she deserved it for hookin up with a dirty old man. speakin my mind, ya know. those fucking pricks banned me for saying that.Were you talking about Drew Peterson?
yeah, it was on findstaceypeterson.com. that dumb bitch deserved it. she married a fat old slob who was married 3 times before and cheated on his wife with her. cmon now
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you blokes also have to post your predictions for the WM25 Main Event. Come on, lets hear them now
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Long ago, I came up with a gimmick called "Steve Hitler" where the guy is just a normal fellow whose name happens to be Steve Hitler, and gradually he becomes Hitler, or something, because that's what people wanted him to be. I don't know.I'm new to this board, so I put that "shock wrestling" disclaimer in the topic so I wouldnt get banned for my first post. Hopefully this board is lenient and allows free speech.You have no idea.
so does that mean anything goes? i hope so, ive been kicked out of way too many forums for bullshit. they kicked me out of the NE patriots forum for laughing at them for losing the super bowl. kicked me out of a baseball board for posting "tasteless" jokes that werent even fucking tasteless. fuckin assholes.
then i got kicked out of this one forum for a missing woman who's presumed dead. its assumed her husband killed her, whos 30 years older than her. so i post saying that she deserved it for hookin up with a dirty old man. speakin my mind, ya know. those fucking pricks banned me for saying that.
then u got those mods out there who ban people for flaming. how fuckin pathetic. whats the big fuckin deal in talkin shit to someone who's like 1000 miles away. i hate mods who are panzies like that. hopefully theres none of that on this board
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shit, I 4got to post my WM25 ME prediction. here's the 11 month prediction
John Morrison vs John Cena for the WWE title (Cena goes over, unfortunately)
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Absolutely not. He's past his prime and nostalgia runs are stupid.
and WWE, would you please abolish the WHC???? what the F is wrong with you guys???? two world titles in one fed??? are you people stupid?!!! we all live on the same planet, there should be only ONE World Champion, at least in the same federation. f'in morons, this is why ratings have been down during this "entertainment" era. bevause of stupid shit like the WHC. get rid of it and maybe the US title too, all u need are the WWE and IC titles for singles competition. Bounce the champions from Raw to SD from time to time, making it unpredictable which wrestler would be on what show. people will tune in cos they'll wanna know who'll show up.
and get rid of Michael Cole too. I hate that little pipsqueak
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right after WM, i predicted the main event of WM2 would be Hogan vs Piper for the title
right after WM2, i was positive WM3's ME would be hogan defending against savage
after 3, i was confident Hogan would go turn heel again and lose the strap to Ricky Steamboat at WM4
after 4, i thought dibiase would gain the belt and drop it to hogan at WM5 for hogan's final run as champ
after 5, i figured savage would regain and feud with Jake the Snake, who would DDT him for the title at WM6. I envisioned Jake celebratin with Damien around his shoulders, holdin' the belt and tellin the snake "we did it damien!"
after 6, i told everyone that UW would defend against the HTMan at WM7
after 7, i knew it'd definitely be Hogan defending vs Taker at WM8
after 8, i foresaw Ric Flair losing the title to the UWarrior at WM9
after 9, i bet everyone that Hogan would retire at WM10 by dropping the strap to the Narcissist
after 10, alot of people called HBK-Hart for WM11 (they were a year off)
after 11, i guessed Diesel-Hart for wm12
after 12, me and others predicted Hart-Taker for wm13
after 13, Hart's turn looked so discouraging, i bet on HBK-Taker for 14
after 14, I figured SCSA going over Kane at wm15, defending his strap
after 15, i woulda given anything for a Rock-SCSA rematch at wm16
after wm2000, i hoped for HHH-Rock at wm2001. 1 on 1, no 4 way
after x-seven, i bet people that x8's ME would be SCSA vs Goldberg
after x8, I was sure they's book Hogan-SCSA to main event wmx9
after 19, i predicted Lesnar-HHH at WM20
after 20, i was tellin everyone that Eddie would feud with HHH and regain the title at wm21
after 21, i guessed maybe they'd have HHH-Cena-Batista in a 3 way dance for wm22
my 1 year prediction for wm23 was Batista-Orton for the WHC
after 23, i was 100% confident they were saving Cena-Batista for the wm24 ME
anybody else have predictions gone wrong?
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Kid Hitler... awesome. His finisher can be the Final Solution.If you want to offend, go for the throat.
not bad. you get the book
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The Jesus wrestler will ride to the ring on a donkey, and his valet will be the Virgin Mary, and during his match she does a show with the donkey, and then Jesus fucks his own mother in the ring to celebrate.I also suggest a tag team of Hitler and Caligula, and they ride to the ring in rickshaws pulled by Jesse Owens and OJ Simpson, and their team name is "Fuck the Beatles".
You know I'd be down to do this fed for real. Only place I think I could find enough support is Japan, though.
ok, u can have a wrestler named Jesus Christ who has a valet named Mary and they have a Beaver Cleavage type relationship. but no donkey though, there wouldnt be enough room at ringside
naming a guy Hitler is too direct. how bout having a guy named Der Fuhrer and he hangs out with the KKK stable
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this may be like an e-fed, but let's try to book it realistically. E-feds usually have garbage like "the wrestler can fly" or "grows a 3rd arm". Let's book this like as if we would start this Fed if any of us had enough $$$.
phat ideas so far. the gay lumberjack match is best so far.
here's a couple more:
instead of nitro girls, have strippers in between matches.
when high spots r hit, the crowd chants "fuck you! fuck you! fuck you!" similar to "ECW! or TNA!"
the owner would have Heyman's attitude but with McMahon's swagger
a couple of names for monthly PPVs can be "The Shit House", "Holy Hour" and its wrestlemania would be FuckFest
As for the pissing idea, it can be booked where a wrestler would go under the ring at a certain point in the match (like HHH going for the sledgehammer). He gets a flask out from under there which is supposed to be empty (but its not) and kayfabe pisses into the flask. He would do it up against the apron so the crowd couldnt see if he was legit pissing or not and would assume he was (like anything else in wrestling). then he goes into the ring and splashes the golden liquid at his opponent's face. He'd get pop from the crowd each time they know he's gonna do it, just like Foley would when he'd pull out Socko.
I'm new to this board, so I put that "shock wrestling" disclaimer in the topic so I wouldnt get banned for my first post. Hopefully this board is lenient and allows free speech. to me, a fed like this wouldnt be shock wrestling, it'd be wrestling the way it should be.
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Ok, maybe a wrestling Fed like this already exists, but I'm wondering if there is an adults-only wrestling federation out there. If not, then there should be and if I had the $$$, I would start the MFWF, the Mother F'n Wrestling Federation.
You would have to be at least 18 to see a live show and because of censorship, the shows can only be broadcast on PPV. This would be shock wrestling. Wrestling with a primary purpose of shocking the viewer and containing scenes and themes never before scene in the wrestling world. All vulgar language would be permissable. Here are some gimmicks that can be used:
A Satanists stable and a Christians stable that would feud against each other.
A crucifixion match, where the object if to strap your opponent onto a crucifix (similar to what Taker did to SCSA)
Evening gown matches would require the girl to strip her opponent down to full nudity.
A Ku Klux Klan stable that would feud against, obviously, a stable of black wrestlers.
Actual sex in the ring, to be used as filler in between matches (like Bishoff's HLA, except taken all the way). Actual sex backstage as part of ongoing angles (like the Test-Stacy Kiebler scene, except they go all the way).
A penetration match, where the object would be to stuff a giant dildo into a giant vagina that stood situated on one of the top turnbuckles (it'd be hilarious).
Statues of Jesus/other religous figures on a pole matches, where the wrestler can use the religous statuette as a weapon.
A drugs match, where various illegal drugs would be available to be used as weapons (stab your opponent with needle or hit him with bags full of weed or cocaine) Book the wrestlers to hesitate while they decide if they should use the drugs as weapons or use the drugs. Of course, it'd all be fake white powder and fake grassy substances, after all, this is wrestling.
A stuff-a-sheet-of-acid-into-your-opponent's-mouth match. Post-match sketches involving the loser of said match would be pretty funny.
A toilet in the ring match, where there is a toilet in the ring and the object is to push your opponents face in the toilet bowl that is filled with excrement and urine (kayfabe of course for health reasons) similiar to British Bulldog and dog doo match.
Wrestlers named The Insane Maniac, The Deranged Lunatic, The Pervert, The Klansman, The Satanist.
A sex match, where a porn star is in the ring, fully naked, during the match and the winner is the first wrestler who can actually penetrate her first.
A Sick Freak match, where a poster of a dirty old man who stares at kids is on a table which leans against the turnbuckles and the object is to throw your opponent through the poster/table. more WTF comedy.
A dead wrestler match, where the Mr. McMahon type owner would force a wrestler to have to "fight" against a deceased wrestler- a coffin containing Brian Adams or Mr. Perfect or Rick Rude (kayfabe) etc. The wrestler would cut a promo saying "wtf is this", then there'd be a run-in that would allow the coffin to get the pinfall victory. It'd be good, dark comedy.
An ice-pick-in-the-eye match. A sledgehammer-to-the-groin match.
A Big Gay Al match, where a proud homosexual stands in the corner of the ring and can kiss and fondle a wrestler who gets thrown into said corner during the match.
A bucket-full-of-menstrual-blood-match, where the wrestler wins by pouring said bucket over opponent.
If anyone can think of anymore shock wrestling gimmicks, lets hear em.
Ultimate Warrior to make a return to the ring
in General Wrestling
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ok, now you're pissin' me off. if TSM had a PPV event, i'd challenge u to a match. i'd cut promos leading up to it describing how I actually have a life, so I have no time to keep up with what the Ultimate Mental Case looks like nowadays. I'll show photos on the TitanTron explaining why you know more about him than I. The pics would show me out on dates with various women and then show what you've been doing these past years... sittin' at home in front of your computer, lovingly gazing at pics of The Ultimate Warrior.