the.weej

It's funny, because I just got finished writing a big rant about why I really hate most fandom. Although, really. I think the WWE board's badness is a little exaggerated. TSM isn't the worst board on the net by far and long. And honestly, if you were looking for sparkling conversations and enlightened debate among wrestling fans... well... I think your standards are up a bit too high. -Z

(Compiled by John Duran) SMARTMARKS JUNIOR LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP HISTORY -- Final Update ***** SJL WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP ***** 1. FALLOUT -- 10/29/00 -- Bobby Riley -- 20 days (1) 2. MERCURY -- 11/18/00 -- NTD -- 15 days (2) 3. THE SACRED ONE -- 12/3/00 -- Mercury -- 13 days 4. MERCURY (2) -- 12/16/00 -- The Sacred One -- 3 days (3) 5. CYCLONE COMET -- 12/19/00 -- n/a -- 41 days (4) 6. PERFECT BO -- 1/29/01 -- Cyclone Comet -- 27 days 7. GRUNGE -- 3/13/01 -- El Luchadore Magnifico -- 36 days (5) 8. XSTASY -- 4/18/01 -- Grunge -- 7 days 9. HVILLE THUGG -- 4/25/01 -- Xstasy -- 53 days (6) 10. SOS -- 6/27/01 -- n/a -- 3 days (7) 11. THOTH -- 7/15/01 -- Mistress Sarah -- 3 days (8) 12. MUNICH -- 7/18/01 -- Thoth -- 15 days (9) 13. MALICE -- 8/2/01 -- Munich -- 28 days 14. KAIMEN ROJA -- 8/30/01 -- Malice -- 38 days 15. JOHN KRUGER -- 10/7/01 -- Kaimen Roja -- 17 days 16. BOSTON STRANGLER -- 10/24/01 -- John Kruger -- 17 days 17. BRIMSTONE -- 11/10/01 -- Boston Strangler -- 18 days (10) 18. BOSTON STRANGLER (2) -- 11/28/01 -- Brimstone -- 22 days 19. LONGDOGGER PETE -- 12/20/01 -- Boston Strangler -- 27 days (11) 20. ANNIE ECLECTIC -- 1/16/02 -- n/a -- 14 days (12) 21. RENEGADE -- 1/30/02 -- Annie Eclectic -- 10 days 22. K-OS -- 2/9/02 -- Renegade -- 46 days 23. EREK TAYLOR -- 3/27/02 -- K-Os -- 28 days (13) 24. STRYKE -- 4/24/02 -- Erek Taylor -- 3 days 25. "THE SUPERIOR ONE" TOM FLESHER -- 5/1/02 -- n/a -- 7 days (14) 26. ASH KETCHUM -- 5/8/02 -- "The Superior One" Tom Flesher -- 7 days 27. "THE SUPERIOR ONE" TOM FLESHER (2) -- 5/15/02 -- Ash Ketchum -- 10 days 28. ASH KETCHUM (2) -- 5/25/02 -- Durandal -- 4 days (15) 29. SYDNEY SKY -- 5/29/02 -- Ash Ketchum -- 11 days (16) 30. "DEATHWISH" DANNY WILLIAMS -- 6/9/02 -- Sydney Sky -- 23 days 31. RENEGADE (2) -- 7/15/02 -- CIA -- 10 days (17) 32. CIA -- 7/25/02 -- Renegade -- 10 days (18) 33. "THE FRANCHISE" MAK FRANCIS -- 8/4/02 -- CIA -- 28 days 34. CIA (2) -- 9/1/02 -- "The Franchise" Mak Francis -- 24 days (19) 35. JUDGE MENTAL -- 9/29/02 -- n/a -- 28 days (20) 36. MATT MYERS -- 10/27/02 -- Judge Mental -- 18 days 37. JUDGE MENTAL (2) -- 11/14/02 -- Matt Myers -- 15 days 38. JOHNNY "THE BARRACUDA" DANGEROUS -- 11/29/02 -- Judge Mental -- 13 days (21) 39. FUGUE -- 12/12/02 -- Johnny "The Barracuda" Dangerous -- 10 days 40. EJIRO FASAKI -- 12/22/02 -- Fugue -- 35 days 41. WILDCHILD -- 1/26/03 -- Ejiro Fasaki -- 4 days 42. MIKE VAN SICLEN -- 2/9/03 -- Janus -- 18 days (22) 43. JANUS -- 2/27/03 -- Mike Van Siclen -- 10 days 44. MIKE VAN SICLEN (2) -- 3/9/03 -- Janus -- 4 days 45. DACE NIGHT -- 3/13/03 -- Mike Van Siclen -- 28 days (23) 46. SEAN ATLAS -- 4/10/03 -- Dace Night -- 14 days 47. CROW -- 4/24/03 -- Sean Atlas -- 52 days (24) 48. VA'AIGA -- 6/15/03 -- Crow -- 4 days 49. CHARLIE "GRAPPLER" MATTHEWS -- 6/24/03 -- "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins -- 33 days (25) 50. JOHN DURAN -- 7/27/03 -- n/a -- 14 days (26) 51. VIKTOR TARAKANOV -- 8/10/03 -- John Duran -- 28 days (27) 52. "HOLLYWOOD" SPIKE JENKINS -- 9/7/03 -- Viktor Tarakanov -- 5 days (28) 53. ENGLISH DRAGON -- 9/12/03 -- “Hollywood” Spike Jenkins -- 16 days 54. INSANE LUCHADOR -- 9/28/03 -- English Dragon (29) -- 23 days 55. TODD ROYAL -- 10/21/03 -- Insane Luchador (30) -- 5 days 56. INSANE LUCHADOR (2) -- 10/26/03 -- Todd Royal -- 9 days 57. AECAS -- 11/4/03 -- Insane Luchador -- 19 days 58. TODD ROYAL (2) -- 11/23/03 -- Aecas -- 28 days 59. ALAN CLARK -- 12/21/03 -- Todd Royal -- 36 days 60. LANDON “LA CUCARACHA” MADDIX -- 1/26/04 -- Alan Clark (31) -- 6 days (32) Footnotes: (1) Fallout became the first World champion in a tournament final. (2) Fallout vacated the title. This was a match for the vacant title. (3) This was a four-man Hell in a Cell match also involving NTD and Jay Dawg. (4) Cyclone Comet was given the title by Mercury. (5) Perfect Bo vacated the title on 2/25/01. This was a match for the vacant title. (6) This was a triple threat match also involving El Luchadore Magnifico. (7) The title was vacated on 6/17/01 after a no-contest between Hville Thugg and SoS. This match was a four-way tables, ladders, and chairs match also involving HVille Thugg, Mistress Sarah, and Trash. (8) SoS was stripped of the title on 6/30/01 when the IGNJL and IGNML merged. This was a tournament final for the vacant title. (9) This was a five-way match also involving Apoc X, Malice, and Silent. (10) This was a triple threat lumberjack match also involving Longdogger Pete. (11) This was a triple threat match also involving Ash Ketchum. (12) Longdogger Pete vacated the title due to injury earlier in the evening. This was a six-way match for the vacant title also involving Erek Taylor, Insane Luchador, Low Brass, Mafia, and Stryke. (13) This was a five-way no-disqualification match also involving Ash Ketchum and Jacob Helmsley. (14) Stryke vacated the title on 4/27/02. This was a triple threat two fall match for the vacant title as well as the European title, also involving "Deathwish" Danny Williams and Z. (15) This was a triple threat match also involving Frost. (16) This was a four-way, two fall match also involving Frost and Insane Luchador, with Frost's European title also on the line. (17) Danny Williams vacated the title on 7/2/02. This was a Hell in a Swimming Pool tournament final for the vacant title. (18) This was a triple threat cage match also involving "The Franchise" Mak Francis. (19) This was a triple threat cage match also involving Thor. (20) CIA was stripped of the title on 9/25/02. This was a four-way double elimination match for the vacant title against Fugue, Mike Van Siclen, and Thor. (21) This was a five-way double elimination battle royal also involving Dace Night, Fugue, and Insane Luchador. (22) Wildchild vacated the title on 1/30/03. This was a no-disqualification, non-interference match for the vacant title. (23) This was a fatal four way match also involving Janus and Va'aiga. (24) This was a triple threat 3-minute elimination match also involving Christian Blackwell. (25) Va'aiga vacated the title on 6/19/03. This was a Classic Wrestling Exhibition match for the vacant title. (26) Charlie Matthews vacated the title on 7/27/03. This was a triple threat elimination match for the vacant title against Aecas and Manson. (27) This was a triple threat match also involving Tryst. (28) This was a triple threat no holds barred match also involving Tryst. (29) This was a triple threat match also involving Aecas. (30) This was a triple threat two-fall match also involving the European title and including Insane Luchador. (31) Maddix defeated Clark to unify the European and World titles. (32) Maddix was defeated by “Sacred” Andrew Blackwell on February 1st at SWF Clusterfuck to unify the United States and JL titles. Longest Reign: Hville Thugg, 53 days Most Reigns: Ash Ketchum, Boston Strangler, CIA, Judge Mental, Mercury, Mike Van Siclen, Renegade, Insane Luchador, Todd Royal and Tom Flesher, 2 ***** SJL EUROPEAN CHAMPIONSHIP ***** 1. GRIMEDOGG -- 10/25/00 -- n/a -- 13 days (1) 2. NEILSEN OF THE JUNGLE -- 11/7/00 -- Grimedogg -- 8 days 3. AXIS -- 11/18/00 -- n/a -- 58 days (2) 4. "GRAND SLAM" MARK STEVENS -- 1/15/01 -- Axis -- 23 days 5. HEAT -- 2/7/01 -- "Grand Slam" Mark Stevens -- 3 days 6. GRUNGE -- 2/10/01 -- Heat -- 11 days 7. EL LUCHADORE MAGNIFICO -- 2/21/01 -- Grunge -- 3 days (3) 8. XSTASY -- 2/24/01 -- El Luchadore Magnifico -- 57 days (4) 9. TRASH -- 4/22/01 -- Xstasy -- 24 days 10. LONGDOGGER PETE -- 5/16/01 -- Trash -- 7 days 11. MISTRESS SARAH -- 5/23/01 -- Longdogger Pete -- 35 days 12. AVALANCHE -- 7/12/01 -- Munich -- 9 days (5) 13. LONGDOGGER PETE (2) -- 7/21/01 -- Malice -- 4 days (6) 14. JOHN KRUGER -- 7/25/01 -- LDP -- 30 days (7) 15. FURY -- 8/24/01 -- John Kruger -- 15 days (8) 16. RENEGADE -- 9/8/01 -- Fury -- 11 days (9) 17. LOW BRASS -- 9/19/01 -- Renegade -- 18 days (10) 18. LONGDOGGER PETE (3) -- 10/7/01 -- Low Brass -- 17 days 19. JACOB HELMSLEY -- 10/24/01 -- Longdogger Pete -- 17 days 20. K-OS -- 11/10/01 -- Jacob Helmsley -- 14 days 21. BOSTON STRANGLER -- 11/24/01 -- K-Os -- 7 days (11) 22. STRYKE -- 12/1/01 -- Boston Strangler -- 19 days (12) 23. SYDNEY SKY -- 12/20/01 -- Stryke -- 23 days 24. EREK TAYLOR -- 1/12/02 -- Sydney Sky -- 74 days 25. MIKE VAN SICLEN -- 3/27/02 -- Erek Taylor -- 3 days (13) 26. "THE SUPERIOR ONE" TOM FLESHER -- 3/30/02 -- Mike Van Siclen -- 25 days 27. Z -- 4/24/02 -- "The Superior One" Tom Flesher -- 7 days (14) 28. "DEATHWISH" DANNY WILLIAMS -- 5/1/02 -- Z -- 7 days (15) 29. TOD DEKINDES -- 5/8/02 -- "Deathwish" Danny Williams -- 7 days 30. "DEATHWISH" DANNY WILLIAMS (2) -- 5/15/02 -- Tod deKindes -- 3 days 31. FROST -- 5/18/02 -- "Deathwish" Danny Williams -- 41 days 32. "THE FRANCHISE" MAK FRANCIS -- 6/28/02 -- Frost -- 13 days (16) 33. T-BONE -- 7/11/02 -- "The Franchise" Mak Francis -- 14 days (17) 34. THOR -- 7/30/02 -- "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins -- 14 days (18) 35. FUGUE -- 8/13/02 -- Thor -- 23 days 36. MATT MYERS -- 9/5/02 -- Fugue -- 10 days 37. LEON SHARPE -- 9/15/02 -- Matt Myers -- 14 days 38. KAMIKAZE -- 9/29/02 -- Leon Sharpe -- 9 days (19) 39. JACK THE RIPPER -- 10/8/02 -- Kamikaze -- 5 days 40. TIM DILLON -- 10/13/02 -- Jack the Ripper -- 14 days (20) 41. EJIRO FASAKI -- 10/27/02 -- Tim Dillon -- 46 days 42. JANUS -- 12/12/02 -- Ejiro Fasaki -- 53 days 43. CHRIS CARD -- 2/4/03 -- Janus -- 9 days 44. SEAN ATLAS -- 2/13/03 -- Chris Card -- 38 days 45. TRYST -- 3/23/03 -- Sean Atlas -- 14 days 46. CHRISTIAN BLACKWELL -- 4/6/03 -- Tryst -- 32 days 47. JOHN DURAN -- 5/8/03 -- Christian Blackwell -- 5 days 48. VIKTOR TARAKANOV -- 5/13/03 -- John Duran -- 14 days (21) 49. AECAS -- 5/27/03 -- Viktor Tarakanov -- 9 days 50. CHARLIE "GRAPPLER" MATTHEWS -- 6/5/03 -- Aecas -- 17 days 51. "CANADIAN THUNDER" CHRIS TREPANIER -- 6/24/03 -- Scott Solomon -- 5 days (22) 52. LEO BRESLIN -- 6/29/03 -- "Canadian Thunder" Chris Trepanier -- 14 days (23) 53. SCOTT SOLOMON -- 7/13/03 -- Leo Breslin -- 9 days 54. BLOODSHED -- 7/22/03 -- Scott Solomon -- 14 days (24) 55. ENGLISH DRAGON -- 8/5/03 -- Bloodshed -- 43 days 56. TODD ROYAL -- 9/17/03 -- Jimmy “The Demon” Liston (25) -- 34 days 57. LANDON “LA CUCARACHA” MADDIX -- 10/21/03 -- Todd Royal (26) -- 33 days 58. ALAN CLARK -- 11/23/03 -- Landon “La Cucaracha” Maddix -- 46 days 59. LANDON “LA CUCARACHA” MADDIX (2) -- 1/8/04 -- Alan Clark -- 18 days (27) Footnotes: (1) Grimedogg became the first European champion in a four-way battle royal involving Divefire, Exploding Chicken, and Psykotic. (2) Neilsen vacated the title on 11/15/00. This was a triple threat match for the vacant title against Grunge and The Worm. (3) This was a four-way ladder match also involving Heat and Mark Stevens. (4) This was a triple threat ladder match also involving Heat. (5) Mistress Sarah vacated the title on 6/27/01. This was a ladder match for the vacant title. (6) This was a fatal four-way match also involving Ash Ketchum and Christian Fury. (7) This was a triple threat match also involving Sydney Sky. (8) This was a four-man double cage/street fight match also involving Ash Ketchum and Longdogger Pete. Fury defeated Ash in a cage match, then defeated Pete, the winner of the other cage match, during the street fight portion of the match. (9) This was a triple threat match also involving Low Brass. (10) This was a fatal four way, no disqualification, elimination match also involving Longdogger Pete and Triple E. (11) This was a fatal four way match also involving Brimstone and Longdogger Pete. (12) This was a five-way match also involving Damien Phillips, Erek Taylor, and GoldenEye. (13) This was a four-way no-disqualification match also involving Ced Ordonez and Shawn Brody. (14) This was a four-way no-disqualification elimination match also involving Ced Ordonez and "Deathwish" Danny Williams. (15) This was a triple threat two fall match for the title as well as the World title, also involving "The Superior One" Tom Flesher. (16) This was a four-way match also involving C. I. A. and Venom. (17) This was a four-way two fall match for the title as well as the Television title, also involving "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins and Thor. (18) T-Bone was stripped of the title. This was a match for the vacant title. (19) This was a battle royal also involving Ejiro Fasaki, Jack the Ripper, Johnny "The Barracuda" Dangerous, and Tim Dillon. (20) This was a triple threat Times Square street fight also involving Leon Sharpe. (21) This was a triple threat elimination match also involving Leo Breslin. (22) Charlie Matthews vacated the title the same night. This match was for the vacant title. (23) This was a triple threat match also involving Tim Dillon. (24) This was a triple threat 36th & Hastings match also involving Craig McLennan. (25) This was a four man battle royal for the vacant title. (26) This was a double title match in which the first man to score a pinfall won the European Title, and the second fall winner would receive the World Title. Insane Luchador also took part in this match. (27) The European Title was unified with the SJL World Title on January 26th, 2004. Longest Reign: Erek Taylor, 74 days Most Reigns: Longdogger Pete, 3 ***** SJL TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP ***** 1. JEREMY MILLER -- 7/12/01 -- n/a -- 6 days (1) 2. JOHN KRUGER -- 7/18/01 -- Jeremy Miller -- 7 days (2) 3. RENEGADE -- 7/28/01 -- Boston Strangler -- 6 days (3) 4. BOSTON STRANGLER -- 8/2/01 -- Renegade -- 24 days (4) 5. ICEMAN -- 8/26/01 -- n/a -- 11 days (5) 6. ANTHONY BROWN -- 9/6/01 -- Iceman -- 2 days 7. K-OS -- 9/19/01 -- n/a -- 10 days (6) 8. INSANE LUCHADOR -- 10/24/01 -- K-Os -- 4 days (7) 9. LIGHTNING FLIK -- 10/28/01 -- Insane Luchador -- 6 days (8) 10. INFERNO -- 11/3/01 -- Lightning Flik -- 21 days (9) 11. STRYKE -- 11/24/01 -- Inferno -- 11 days (10) 12. MATT MYERS -- 12/5/01 -- Stryke -- 3 days 13. ANNIE ECLECTIC -- 12/8/01 -- Matt Myers -- 37 days 14. MATT MYERS (2) -- 1/23/02 -- "Natural Born Killer" Josh Tupper -- 3 days (11) 15. "NATURAL BORN KILLER" JOSH TUPPER -- 1/26/02 -- Matt Myers -- 11 days 16. MIKE VAN SICLEN -- 2/6/02 -- "Natural Born Killer" Josh Tupper -- 21 days (12) 17. SHAWN BRODY -- 2/27/02 -- Mike Van Siclen -- 31 days 18. KOJACK -- 3/30/02 -- Shawn Brody -- 4 days (13) 19. T-BONE -- 4/3/02 -- Kojack -- 14 days 20. "TNT" TAYLOR NICHOLAS THOMPSON -- 4/17/02 -- T-Bone -- 49 days 21. "THE FRANCHISE" MAK FRANCIS -- 6/5/02 -- "TNT" Taylor Nicholas Thompson -- 36 days 22. THOR -- 7/11/02 -- "The Franchise" Mak Francis -- 19 days (14) 23. FUGUE -- 7/30/02 -- Thor -- 5 days (15) (16) 24. OMEGA STORM -- 3/4/03 -- Fosta -- 14 days (17) 25. "DARK REBEL" TERRY WAYNE -- 3/18/03 -- Omega Storm -- 9 days (18) 26. QUIET DEATH -- 3/27/03 -- "Dark Rebel" Terry Wayne -- 10 days 27. JOHN DURAN -- 4/6/03 -- Quiet Death -- 23 days (19) 28. CHARLIE "GRAPPLER" MATTHEWS -- 4/29/03 -- John Duran -- 23 days (20) 29. LEO BRESLIN -- 5/22/03 -- Charlie "Grappler" Matthews -- 10 days 30. SYNDICATE -- 6/1/03 -- Leo Breslin -- 4 days 31. ENGLISH DRAGON -- 6/5/03 -- Syndicate -- 5 days 32. LEO BRESLIN (2) -- 6/10/03 -- English Dragon -- 5 days 33. JIMMY "THE DEMON" LISTON -- 6/15/03 -- Leo Breslin -- 4 days 34. "THE REBEL" SHAWN TYBALT -- 6/19/03 -- Jimmy "The Demon" Liston -- 19 days 35. ENGLISH DRAGON (2) -- 7/8/03 -- "The Rebel" Shawn Tybalt -- 14 days 36. TODD ROYAL -- 7/22/03 -- English Dragon -- 14 days 37. LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MADDIX -- 8/5/03 -- Todd Royal -- 43 days 38. BRIAN BOWERS -- 9/17/03 -- Landon “La Cucaracha” Maddix -- 29 days (21) Longest Reign: Taylor Nicholas Thompson, 49 days Most Reigns: English Dragon, K-Os, Leo Breslin, and Matt Myers, 2 Footnotes: (1) Jeremy Miller became the first TV champion in a triple threat tournament final also involving Insane Luchador and Renegade. (2) This was a triple threat match also involving Boston Strangler. (3) John Kruger was stripped of the title on 7/25/01. This was a match for the vacant title. (4) This was a five-way match also involving HamSauce, Insane Luchador, and Venom. (5) Iceman was given the belt by Boston Strangler. (6) Anthony Brown vacated the title on 9/8/01. This was a four-way battle royal for the vacant title against Crush and Hammer. (7) This was a triple threat match also involving Erek Taylor. (8) This was a tag match pitting Lightning Flik and Brimstone against Insane Luchador and Renegade, with a stipulation putting Insane Luchador's title on the line. (9) This was a triple threat elimination match also involving Stryke. (10) This was a fatal four way elimination match also involving Insane Luchador and Matt Myers. (11) Annie Eclectic vacated the title on 1/16/02. This was a hardcore match for the vacant title. (12) This was a six-man flaming tables match also involving Kojack, Marcus Thundahr, Matt Myers, and The Mysterious One. (13) This was a triple threat match also involving The Dark Reaper. (14) This was a four-way two fall match for the title as well as the European title, also involving "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins and T-Bone. (15) This was a triple threat elimination match also involving Kamikaze. (16) On 8/4/02, Thor defeated Fugue to unify the Television and European titles. (17) On 3/4/03, the TV title was reinstated. This was a tournament final for the vacant title. (18) This was a triple threat match also involving John Duran. (19) This was a triple threat match also involving "Dark Rebel" Terry Wayne. (20) This was a four-way match also involving David Blazenwing and Leo Breslin. (21) Brian Bowers was stripped of the title on October 16th by Commissioner Chris Raynor; the title was later deactivated. ***** SJL TAG/STABLES CHAMPIONSHIP ***** (INACTIVE) 1. RED STORM RISING (A) -- 10/7/01 -- n/a -- 55 days (1) 2. DESTRUCTION (B) -- 12/1/01 -- Red Storm Rising -- 14 days (2) 3. X FORCE NINE © -- 12/15/01 -- Destruction -- 5 days (3) 4. DESTRUCTION (2) (D) -- 12/20/01 -- X Force Nine -- 41 days (4) 5. X FORCE NINE (2) (E) -- 1/30/02 -- Destruction -- 48 days (5) (6) Footnotes: (1) Red Storm Rising (Brimstone & K-Os) defeated The Alley (Iceman & Jeremy Miller), The Clan (Fury & Silent), Destruction (Insane Luchador & Renegade), and the Reaperz (Jack the Ripper & The Reaper) in a five-team flaming tables elimination match to become the first Tag/Stables champions. (2) Destruction (Insane Luchador & Renegade) defeated Red Storm Rising (Brimstone) in a handicap match with the Tag/Stables titles on the line. (3) X Force Nine (Ash Ketchum) defeated Destruction (Insane Luchador & Payne) in a handicap match with the Tag/Stables titles on the line. (4) Destruction (Insane Luchador & Renegade) defeated X Force Nine (Erek Taylor & GoldenEye). (5) X Force Nine (Ash Ketchum & Low Brass) defeated Destruction (with "Natural Born Killer" Josh Tupper). (6) The titles were retired on 3/19/02. Team Members: (all who have been part of the stable at any time that the stable held the titles) (A) Brimstone, Crush, Inferno, Jacob Helmsley, K-Os, Lightning Flik, Xero. (B) Insane Luchador, Payne, Renegade, Venom. © Annie Eclectic, Ash Ketchum, Erek Taylor, GoldenEye, Longdogger Pete. (D) Insane Luchador, Matt Myers, Payne, Renegade, Venom. (E) Ash Ketchum, Erek Taylor, GoldenEye, Longdogger Pete, Low Brass. Longest Reign: Red Storm Rising, 55 days Most Reigns: Destruction and X Force Nine, 2 ***** IGNJL EASTERN UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP ***** (INACTIVE) 1. APOSTLE -- 2/7/01 -- Grunge -- 3 days (1) 2. XSTASY -- 2/10/01 -- Apostle -- 71 days 3. SOS -- 4/25/01 -- Venom -- 3 days (2) 4. ZIO -- 4/28/01 -- SoS -- 11 days 5. VENOM -- 5/9/01 -- n/a -- 10 days (3) 6. SNOW DEMON -- 5/19/01 -- Venom -- 7 days 7. AVALANCHE -- 5/26/01 -- Snow Demon -- 11 days (4) 8. MUNICH -- 6/6/01 -- Avalanche -- 24 days (5) (6) Footnotes: (1) Apostle became the first EUS champion in a triple threat match also involving The Authority. (2) Xstasy vacated the title on 4/22/01. This was a match for the vacant title. (3) Venom was given the title by Zio. (4) This was a four corners match also involving D-Devil and Venom. (5) This was a triple threat match also involving D-Devil. (6) The title was retired 6/30/01 when the IGNJL and IGNML merged. Longest Reign: Xstasy, 71 days Most Reigns: No Repeat Winners ***** OVERALL ***** LONGEST TITLE REIGNS 1. Erek Taylor, 74 days (Euro) 2. Xstasy, 71 days (EUS) 3. Axis, 58 days (Euro) MOST TITLE REIGNS 1. Longdogger Pete, 3 (Euro) 2. Ash Ketchum, 2 (World) 2. Boston Strangler, 2 (World) 2. CIA, 2 (World) 2. Judge Mental, 2 (World) 2. Mercury, 2 (World) 2. Mike Van Siclen, 2 (World) 2. Renegade, 2 (World) 2. "The Superior One" Tom Flesher, 2 (World) 2. Todd Royal, 2 (World) 2. Insane Luchador, 2 (World) 2. "Deathwish" Danny Williams, 2 (Euro) 2. English Dragon, 2 (TV) 2. K-Os, 2 (TV) 2. Leo Breslin, 2 (TV) 2. Matt Myers, 2 (TV) 2. Destruction, 2 (Tag/Stables) 2. X Force Nine, 2 (Tag/Stables)

My debut match was less embarassing than most, but sheyeah right. Like I'd really want it to see daylight again. If I were to post anything, it'd be my Absolution match. That's... pretty much the only wrestling I've written that kicked any ass. EDIT: Oh, Annie. Would a Cheese Dance-Off just be those guys wearing a Green Bay Packers cheese hat? Or... what? -Z

Yes, I'd like to request a bigger part in the next one. Seriously, though, entertaining as always. "Breaking Kayfabe" remains one of the cooler little things about the SWF, and another reason the fed is awesome. It also gives a window into the "real" side of GSMS's character, which, as Tom once put it, "reminds people he's more than Axis with a baseball cap." Of course, you were on commentary when he said it, but meh. Same message here. -Z

bne003's back up, as a note. For how long, I'm not sure, but there you go. -Z

You know what I say to that? I have a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuge penis. MY FED NOW! MINE! -Z

Pft. That's the best time to spread my propaganda! -Z

Rizznults! ...there isn't much to discuss here, really. I'll actually do a recap. -Toxxic beats Jake in what could be considered a mild upset. -John Duran topples Janus for the HGC, ending a 60-some day reign. There's a few promos, too, but you'll have read those for yourselves. Go. Go now! Comment! Card will be up within 15 minutes.

Music: Wu Tang Clan – Protect Ya Neck [Method Man] Watch ya step kid Va’aiga throws off his robes with a brisk hand motion and sticks his tongue out in a defiant Maori pose. A handful of black and silver streamers fly into the ring, quickly dealt with by ring assistants as the cameras flash again. Watch ya step kid The air is filled in a blur of red, gold and black as streamers for Danny Williams rain down from all directions. Danny Williams strikes a pose, maybe the last with his title belt and waits for the noise, the chants, the flashes and the streamer storm to die down. Watch ya step kid Stepping into the middle of the ring, face to face (or more accurately face to neck given the huge height difference), the Maori Badass and the Louisville Elbower. Va’aiga wears his near permanent smile, an expression that crosses his face when he’s not enjoying laying the hurt on someone. Danny Williams’ granite chiseled features are impassive as ever, Williams concentrating more on the task in hand than posturing. Watch ya step kid Both the Maori and the American stalk and circle, neither wanting to throw a strike or move that his opponent could counter. [inspector Deck] I smoke on the mic like smokin Joe Frazier The hell raiser, raisin hell with the flavor Va’aiga launches a quick left that catches Danny off guard. This time Danny staggers backwards, rocked by the force of the blow Terrorize the jam like troops in Pakistan Swingin through your town like your neighborhood Spiderman …and Va’aiga uses the break to fire off a second rapid left! So uhh, tic toc and keep tickin While I get ya flippin off the shit I'm kickin Danny gets one more spinal kick, this time wrapping a leg round the standing Maori’s back. The Lone Ranger, code red, danger! Deep in the dark with the art to rip charts apart Hurtling at full speed back towards Danny, Va’aiga is an unsettling sight, but Danny is in full control of the situation and Deathwish extends an arm, wrapping it round Va’aiga’s neck. The Maori’s momentum throws his legs out, and Danny kneels down, dropping Va’aiga on his back! The vandal, too hot to handle Ya battle, you're sayin Goodbye like Tevin Campbell Oblivious to the heckling of the crowd, Va’aiga continues to pile on the pressure, wrenching hard on Danny Williams and bending the Trinity leader’s body into an almost inhuman shape Roughneck, Inspector Deck's on the set The rebel, I make more noise than heavy metal Cursing his luck, Va’aiga rolls up to one knee and cranking his neck out, the Maori Badass holds his own face a mere handful of inches above his oppoenent’s. While Danny’s eyes are half closed, Va’aiga’s are wide open and burning deep with the fires of hatred. Sensing he has a solid enough advantage, Va’aiga chooses his next move carefully, and decides it’s time to hit Danny with a lethal… Va’aiga: WHAT’S MY NAME?!? [Raekwon] The way I make the crowd go wild, sit back relax won't smile Danny has broken loose! Danny rushes and throws a wild knee strike, crashing into the turning Maori and both men drop back first to the canvas. Rae got it goin on pal, call me the rap assassinator Rhymes rugged and built like Schwarzenegger Danny breaks a leg free from Va’aiga’s OTHER arm and with a few wild swings manages to kick himself free of the leg end. Seeing that Danny has freed himself, Va’aiga uses the headlock to drag Danny back down onto his back and the Maori dives to a pinning situation And I'ma get mad deep like a threat, blow up your project Then take all your assets Wriggling like an earthworm, Deathwish Danny Williams desperately tries to free something, ANYTHING to allow himself to break Va’aiga’s modified bow and arrow hold. Cause I came to shake the frame in half With the thoughts that bomb, shit like math! With his knee outstretched, Va’aiga drops to the mat driving his patella into the serratus posterior inferior area of Danny Williams’ back. Va’aiga stays at canvas level and locks one arm around the neck of his closest rival. So if ya wanna try to flip go flip on the next man Cause I grab the clip and From the wristlock Va’aiga draws Danny Williams’ arm back across his own throat, forming a half goku-raku choke and setting Danny up for something FAR more vicious. Hit ya with sixteen shots and more I got Goin to war with the meltin pot hot Va’aiga storms over to the grounded Williams, kicks the champion onto his stomach and fires a bunch of rapid stomps, bangbangbangbangbang into the small of Danny Williams’ back. [Method] It's the Method Man for short Mr. Meth Va’aiga goes low and tries to take Danny off his feet with a trademark rugby tackle, but Williams is expecting this and takes a step forward as Va’aiga ducks, wrapping his arms around the Maori’s forehead and neck, covering his carotid artery!!! Movin on your left, aah! With legs wrapped round his waist and arms wrapped round his head, even in a position of some control the Maori Badass is taking damage from Deathwish Danny. Va’aiga turns in the ring and lines Danny up with the corner post, charging backwards into the ring post and Slamming Danny’s back against it And set it off, get it off, let it off like a gat I wanna break full, cock me back Williams grunts and scrunches his face up, showing every sign of extreme exertion as he throws the massive Maori over his head, dropping Va’aiga HARD on his upper back and neck with the patented Danny Williams DAAAAAAANGEROUS GEEEERMAN SUUUUUUUUPLEXAAAAAAAAH Small change, they puttin shame in the game I take aim and blow that nigga out the frame Picking the Maori up off the mat with one arm, Danny Williams wraps that self same arm round the back of the Maori’s head, holding him in position for a precisely aimed elbow strike, Deathwish’s elbow again smashing powerfully into the cheekbone of the Maori. There’s a DISTURBING snapping sound, and Va’aiga reels away in pain. And like Fame!!, my style'll live forever Niggaz crossin over, but they don't know no better Mark Hebner takes Va’aiga to one side and looks into his eyes, but as he’s not entitled to stop the match, he simply asks the Maori if he wants to give up, and Va’aiga responds with a shake of his head again. Hebner signals for the pair to fight on. But I do, true, can I get a "sue" Nuff respect due to the one-six-ooh Danny Williams drags the Maori Badass up to his feet, straining with the effort of shifting what is now over 300lbs of dead weight. Williams wrenches again and sends Va’aiga into the ropes again before charging the ropes on the opposite side of the ring. Danny extends his elbow out again, looking to hit his deadly running version of that favored strike of his I mean ohh, yo check out the flow like the Hudson or PCP when I'm dustin Va’aiga connects with the EVIL, NASTY, VICIOUS, VENOM LACED, BITTER TASTE, LAY AAAAAALLL YOU MOTHERFUCKERS TO WASTE LARIATOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!. Niggaz off because I'm hot like sauce The smoke from the lyrical blunt makes me *cough* Williams slings an arm of Va’aiga over his own back and lifts the Maori up, holding Va’aiga vertical for a few seconds and letting all the blood rush to Va’aiga’s head before DROPPING THE MAORI STRAIGHT FUCKING DOWNWARDS ONTO HIS SKULL WITH A BRAINBUSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! [u-God] Ooh, what, grab my nut get screwed Oww, here comes my Shaolin style Va’aiga falls back and drives Danny Williams back first into the mat with a GERMAN SUPLEX! The Maori Badass holds on to the waistlock and slowly stands again, dragging the unfortunate Williams with him. Sloop-B and my b-boy's U to my crew with the "suuue" Williams angles his elbow and somehow gets enough room to blast Va’aiga and in a lucky and possibly unintentional strike, which catches Va’aiga on the cheekbone again. [Method Man] Watch ya step kid Va’aiga throws a punch which Danny JUST TAKES ON THE CHIN LIKE A REAL MAN! Watch ya step kid Danny throws an elbow that Va’aiga JUST TAKES ON THE CHIN LIKE A REAL MAORI! Watch ya step kid Danny fires an knee into the sternum of the Maori bending him double Watch ya step kid but as he goes for a standing head scissors, setting up his own Powerbomb, Va’aiga grabs a gutwrench and lifts the bending over Danny up, holding Deathwish across his chest! Watch ya step kid Danny Williams dodges a Maori Drop shaped bullet, grabbing hold of Va’aiga’s arm and freeing himself, dropping carefully to the mat Watch ya step kid Danny grabs for the arm, looking again for a whip, maybe going for another elbow smash with both men running Watch ya step kid Va’aiga holds on and drags Danny’s arm back across his throat. Watch ya step kid The Maori Badass ducks behind Danny and lifts him up into a torture rack, still keeping the half goku-raku locked in, and all the air is sucked out of the arena as the crowd realize what’s about to happen. The camera pans across the crowd, watching shocked and stunned faces, hearing little noise as from near seven foot up… Va’aiga Drops Danny On His Mother Fucking Skull. Riley: THE VA’AIGA STINGER! THE VA’AIGA STINGER! [RZA] Ya best protect ya neck Va’aiga lays on the mat gasping for breath and lazily drapes an arm over the semi conscious Williams. Mark Hebner drops again to count, slapping his arm slowly down on the mat… Ya best protect ya neck ONE! Ya best protect ya neck TWO! Ya best protect ya neck THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Storm returns from commercials, as the Dayton fans are ready for the main event! “This main event could possibly be the most built up Hardcore Title match ever, Comet!” Bobby Riley’s commentary partner, Cyclone Comet, responds. “Certainly, Robert. Citizen Duran originally set up this match as a part of winning the Fight Before Christmas Stocking Stuffers Match!” “That’s right, but then John Duran sneak-attacked the Hardcore champion Terrence Bailey from behind, and tensions rose as Grand Slam sent Duran home for the night!” “After a hard fight in the Clusterfunk by both men, they are ready to go here tonight in the Ervin J. Nutter Center!” “Terrence can’t be too happy after being pinned to lose the big match, so he might take his agressions out on Duran! Anyway, we might need some extra TV time for this one, so let’s head to the ring where Funyon is prepared with the introductions!” The camera shot switches to that of Funyon. “Ladies and gentlemen,” Funyon begins, “this match is tonight’s main event!” The crowd cheers, even after seeing only two matches tonight. “...And it is for the S - W - F HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP!!” The cheers continue until the familiar first words start up. “NO~ NO~ NOTORIOUS!” The cheers quickly turn to boos as Spineshank’s “Synthetic” kicks into high gear and the challenger for tonight’s match makes his entrance...with a shopping cart! “Introducing first, the challenger...weighing in at 268 pounds, from Champaign, Illinois...THE NOTORIOUS JOHN DURAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!” “What does Citizen Duran have in that shopping cart, Robert?” “Looks to be some light tubes in there, those are always favorites of John...I spy a chair or two in there, and perhaps some lumber, though not in the table form!” The Notorious One reaches the ringside area, parking his shopping cart close to the ramp. John then steps up onto the apron and goes through the ropes, heading to the opposite side of the ring and waiting for the entrance of the champion. The lights dim and the display reads “[sTATUS: RELEASED]” as the chorus to Killswitch Engage’s “When Darkness Falls” plays, the crowd cheering loudly for the Hardcore Champion as Terrence Bailey makes his entrance! “And now introducing, weighing in at 360 pounds, from Sydney, Australia...he is the SWF HARDCORE CHAMPION...TERRENCE JANUS BAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILEY!” The crowd continues to praise the Anti-Heel Machine as he advances down the ring, still looking upset after his loss in the Clusterfuck. Not only that, but Terrence is carrying the Equalizer! The crowd sees this and almost goes nuts right then! Terrence throws the weapon to the side and rolls under the bottom rope and into the ring, as John Duran jumps him, starting the match early! Mark Hebner hurriedly turns and calls for the bell to start the match! *DING DING DING* The crowd is booing again as Duran puts the boots to Bailey, but Bailey isn’t going down that easily, as Terrence rises up and shoves Duran away! John goes stumbling across the ring, rolling back to his feet as Bailey gets to his feet and Duran charges again, but the Anti-Heel Machine runs the Notorious One over with a big clothesline, taking Duran down to the mat! “Fast start to this hardcore match, Robert,” Comet notes. “Terrence will slow it down with his big ass.” Terrence grabs Duran by the arm and sends him towards the ropes opposite the SmarkTron. Duran rebounds off the ropes, but holds onto the ropes and escapes over the top rope! Terrence just glares at Duran as he takes a walk on the outside. “Look at how smart Duran is there, avoiding the champion.” “Citizen Duran can’t win the title on the outside of the ring unless Terrence is there with him, Robert.” After taking a moment to stall, John slides into the ring. Terrence stands back, not repeating what Duran did as John gets to his feet. Duran approaches Terrence and then tries to come forward with a right hand, but Terrence dodges it and nails Duran with a right-handed Knuckle Bomb! Duran is staggered but doesn’t quite fall down, as Terrence comes forward with a big boot! However, Duran has the presence of mind to avoid it as the boot of Bailey drops and Duran brings up a knee into the abdomen of the Anti-Heel Machine. “Nice exchange of dodging there from Citizen Duran and Citizen Bailey, as they’re actually doing some wrestling to start this off!” With Terrence doubled over, Duran puts his opponent in a front facelock and then hooks both of Janus’ arms, exposing his face to the mat before dropping down with a double-underhook DDT! The fans boo as Duran heads to the outside. “NOW we’re going to see some weapons, Robert.” The Notorious One moves to the shopping cart and removes a flourescent light tube, keeping an eye on Bailey as he slides back into the ring, being careful with the breakable tube in his hand as he approaches Terrence, who has reached one knee. Bailey glances up as he climbs back to his feet from the double underhook DDT, and Duran holds the light tube with both hands and raises it high into the air, trying to bring it down tomahawk-style onto the top of Janus’ head! ...But Janus pushes Duran away before he can take a swing! The Dayton crowd cheers and breathes a sigh of relief as Terrence gets to his feet, hitting the arm of Duran and forcing him to drop the light tube the ground near the ropes! The light tube stays intact, as Terrence grabs Duran’s arm and pushes him into the ropes, sending him to the other side! “No,” Riley screams, “he was going to put Terrence away with that light tube!” This time, Duran rebounds off the ropes and comes towards the middle of the ring, and Janus is waiting for him as the Anti-Heel Machine gets the boot up and connects this time with a big boot to the face of Duran, as the Notorious One hits the mat swiftly! “Terrence better stay away from that light tube,” Riley warns. “Citizen Bailey is a changed man, Terrence, he wouldn’t use a bad guy’s weapon!” And Terrence doesn’t go for it...at least for the moment. Duran remains on the match as Terrence stands at the head of John and then leaps into the air, extending his leg out and slamming it down across the chest of Duran! The legdrop is followed up with a pinfall as Bailey drapes his body over John’s and hooks the leg, Mark Hebner falling to the mat! ONE... TW-KICKOUT! The first pinfall of the match is not even good for a two count. “Seems like Citizen Duran is very pumped for this match, he might be just as hard to put down as Citizen Bailey is!” Terrence sits Duran up but keeps him down on the mat as he gets up and locks a chinlock on the Notorious One, grabbing Duran’s chin and yanking back as Mark Hebner checks on him to see if he submits! Duran appears to be in some amount of pain, but says “no” when asked if he gives up. The crowd continues to cheer as Terrence continuously yanks back on the chin. “A chinlock in a hardcore match! Not something you see very often, Comet.” “Certainly not. Citizen Bailey’s mindset hasn’t been all that steady lately, of course.” Finally, Duran reaches his hand up and rakes his fingers across the eyes of the Anti-Heel Machine, as Janus is temporarily stunned. This allows John to get out of the chinlock, reaching his feet as soon as possible and going back for the light tube. Duran gets it in his hands, but it’s knocked out once again as Terrence makes a blind charge and is lucky enough to catch Duran with an out of control clothesline that sends both men over to the top rope to cheers from the crowd! “And the action carries to the outside,” Comet announces, “no rules in this match, so anything is legal.” Terrence lands on his feet on the outside, but Duran stumbles backwards and onto his rear as Terrence turns to Duran and brings him to his feet, the crowd watching this unfolding in front of them rising to their feet and taunting the challenger as Terrence bluntly sends Duran headfirst into the steel steps! SMACK! Duran holds his head in pain as he sits up against the steps, and Terrence goes around, moving to the shopping cart and removing the sole chair from it, coming back around to where Duran is...not sitting up against the steps! Duran has escaped the sight of Bailey, and by the time Terrence turns around, Duran has the light tube and takes a swing for the fences, trying to nail Terrence with it! CRASH The light tube shatters, but thankfully Terrence is able to get the chair up and guard himself from the blow as glass shatters everywhere, getting a mixture of “Ooh”s and boos from the fans in attendance. Duran is shocked by his light tube not connecting and is surprised long enough for Terrence to bury the chair into his midsection! Bailey then brings the chair up... BANG And whacks Duran in the back with it! The Notorious One hits the floor in a hurry, sprawled out and face-down to the hoots and hollers of the Dayton crowd! “No! Get up, Duran, get up!” Riley pleads. Terrence doesn’t continue on the offense, he simply slides into the ring with the chair and waits for Duran as the fans applaud Bailey for his good work as of yet in this match. Duran slowly begins to get to his feet, the adrenaline still pumping somewhat as the Notorious One reaches a knee and then uses the ring apron to pull himself up the rest of the way. “Duran’s going to need to make a big comeback here, Comet, he needs some quick offense to subdue Terrence, who is really on a roll right now.” Duran finally rolls into the ring, and the crowd cheers as they expect another chair beating from Terrence. However, Bailey stands back until Duran reaches his feet, and then approaches him. Suddenly, John charges forward with his shoulder tucked down! Terrence can’t get the chair down in time, and Duran’s left shoulder drives into Terrence, taking the big man down with a major-league spear! “Notice that he didn’t go to the corner with that one, Robert. Citizen Bailey has a big height and weight advantage, and when there are no rules, this will become a problem in the latter parts of the match.” The chair is out of Terrence’s hands after the spear, and Duran grabs the chair as Terrence immediately begins to stir after the spear. The fans are booing the Notorious One as he slams the chair against the mat twice, warning the fans of what is about to happen to the Anti-Heel Machine. Once Terrence reaches one knee, Duran lifts the chair up over his head and brings it down hard onto the head of Bailey! SMACK! The sickening sound of steel against skull echoes through the Ervin J. Nutter Arena as Terrence falls in a heap to the mat. Duran then uses the broad end of the chair, bringing it down onto the legs of Terrence! “Duran is using a good strategy here, Comet.” “Definitely,” Comet agrees, “Keeping Citizen Bailey on the mat will allow for Citizen Duran to get plenty more offense in and possibly pick up the victory!” The boos only get louder as Duran continues to drive the chair down into the legs of Janus, as Terrence tries to guard them the best he can without getting his hands smashed by the blunt end of the chair. Finally, Duran stops the assualt on Terrence’s legs and moves to the head of Bailey, hoisting the chair up once again and crashing it down onto the noggin of Terrence. WHACK Once again, Terrence receives a headshot from the chair, and Terrence doesn’t show much sign of moving just yet. This allows Duran to take the chair with him to the outside, as he returns to the shopping cart. “Back to the shopping cart for Duran,” Riley proclaims. Duran doesn’t have to look long for what he wants, however, as the Notorious One removes a light tube from the shopping cart and returns to the ring, having already wasted one of the five that he brought with him to begin this match! Duran stands behind Janus, having since dropped the chair in the ring again. Bailey is rising to his feet once again, though a little bit wobbly from just having been brutally attacked with a chair onto the legs. However, Bailey seems to be fighting through it! “A light tube to the leg would certainly be devastating here, Comet.” “That’s just cruel and unusual punishment, Robert. Not to mention completely and utterly unjust.” John waits for his moment to strike as the Anti-Heel Machine begins to get to his feet. Duran begins to wave the light tube in the air as if he’s getting prepared to hit a homerun off of Janus’ head. Terrence remains on his knee and Duran grows impatient, going around to the other side of Terrence and facing him, tomahawking the light tube down! CRASH This time, it connects! The glass shatters into the forehead and hair of Terrence, and the crowd moans in shock and disgust as Duran discards the remains of the light tube, Terrence falling to his side after being slammed on the head with a glass light tube. “That was just sick, Robert! We don’t see that very often here in the SWF, but I know for a fact I don’t want to see that happen again!” Riley is laughing through all of Comet’s mini-speech. “Comet, just respect Duran for what he is! After this match, he’ll become a giant killer? I wouldn’t be surprised to see that white hair turn red!” Duran goes outside of the ring, but this time, he looks under the ring apron instead of going to the shopping cart, which is right next to him. He pulls out a table and the crowd cheers on principle of seeing the table, even though it’s Duran that’s carrying it. This fact allows for some of the crowd members to boo the Unnamed member as he sets up the table about halfway in-between the foot of the ramp and the ring apron. Duran then re-enters the ring, as Terrence is once again beginning to reach his feet! The crowd gets behind Terrence, trying to turn the tables of the match (no pun intended). “If Citizen Duran can put Citizen Bailey through that table, it might be over, Robert!” Duran takes Terrence off the mat, only to put him in a front facelock. Bailey is unable to fight back as he is lifted up off the ground by Duran, but isn’t held there for long as the Anti-Heel Machine is dropped back down to the mat with Duran, connecting with the vertical suplex! Duran then quickly goes for the cover on Terrence, hooking the leg as Hebner once again falls to the mat to count the pinfall! ONE... TWO...KICKOUT! The pinfall barely gets a two count, and Duran just glares at the ref as Terrence gets a shoulder up and some force behind a kickout! The crowd enjoys this, but Duran simply gets frustrated and slides to the outside, going back to the shopping cart. “Always the shopping cart, Robert! When will Citizen Duran learn that he needs to stay on his opponent if he wants to win this match in a quick fashion?” “Perhaps Duran is simply going to try and make an example out of Terrence tonight for the other Trinity members!” This Trinity member is slowly getting to his feet, however, as Duran takes out the remaining three light bulbs! He doesn’t bring them into the ring, but instead lays them along the table, as the fans begin to boo Duran, sensing what could be happening next! The Notorious One goes back to the shopping cart and grabs a shoulder-width and two inch-long piece of wood! Finally, John re-enters the ring, as Terrence is slowly rising to his feet, the blood on his forehead beginning to stain his mix of white and black hair! The fans’ boos are fading as they wait to see what happens next, wondering if the table is about to be broken with all those light tubes on it! “This could get really ugly in a hurry, Robert.” Before Terrence can get to his feet, Duran straddles Terrence’s back and brings the lumber around Janus’ head, and across the Anti-Heel Machine’s neck! Duran rears back with the wood choking the life of Bailey, as the crowd begins to boo loudly once again! Duran has a big grin on his face, however, as he just continues to choke the life out of the Hardcore Champion! Hebner checks on Bailey, but Terrence is unable to give a response, due to his windpipe and vocal chords being cut off! “This is excellent, Comet! Duran is using every tool in that cart to bring Terrence to a screeching halt!” “This is horrible, Robert! How can a man like John Duran do that to another human being!” Hebner asks Bailey once again, but this time Terrence begins to stand up with Duran on his back still choking his out. Janus’ face is scrunched up and his hands are now grabbing at Duran’s, trying to remove the wood from his throat, but finally, Duran decides to bail before Terrence can mount a counterattack! Bailey turns around, still trying to regain his breath! Duran tries to bury a boot into Bailey’s midsection, but the Anti-Heel Machine will have none of that! He grabs the Notorious One’s boot, and spins Duran around in a circle! “Duran’s going for the ride,” Riley points out, “this can’t be good.” As it so happens, it’s no good news for John as he spins around and quickly gets caught with a boot of his own to the midsection, dropping the piece of wood as Terrence puts him in a front facelock! Terrence grabs the tights of Duran and lifts up, but only gets to about a 45-degree angle before dropping back with an implant DDT! “Everdream! It’s the Everdream from Citizen Bailey!” After hitting that move, Terrence turns Duran over and goes for the cover! ONE... TWO... THR-NOOO! The fans are disappointed as Duran is just barely able to get a shoulder up! Terrence doesn’t look happy at it, but tries to supress his anger as he simply stands up and goes to the outside, where the shopping cart is waiting for him! “Don’t tell me Janus is going for the shopping cart, too,” groans Riley. Not quite. Terrence is instead going for the Equalizer! The crowd pops like a person with TMJ for the weapon, and Janus slides into the ring with it, as Duran is face up on the mat! Terrence takes the barbed wire wrapped cricket bat and puts it on the face of Duran before beginning to grind it into the skin of Duran! “Oh, and this isn’t cruel punishment, Comet?” “This is unjust, but it’s against an unjust person!” “Two unjusts don’t make a just, Comet.” “They do now, Robert. Still, this is pretty sick.” After ten seconds of grinding the barbed wire into Duran’s face, Duran rolls over in pain, kicking his feet into the mat and holding his obviously now bleeding face! Terrence raises the Equalizer in the air again before discarding it. Bailey brings Duran to his feet and Duran is already bleeding heavily from the forehead! “Ugh, look at the blood! It makes me sick, Robert.” Terrence is struggling bringing John up, who is offering resistance. Duran has an equalizer of his own, though, as he brings up an uppercut right into the crotch of Bailey! “OHHHHHHHHH!” The usual sympathetic response for a low blow is given, as Terrence seems ready to fall to a mat, but the bleeding Duran helps his brother in bleeding, taking the crimson mask wearing Janus and pushing him towards the ropes, where the table is waiting ominously. Duran leaves to the outside, rummaging through the shopping cart again and finding...THUMBTACKS! The crowd doesn’t even really begin to realize it until he pours them onto the table with the light tubes. “There has to be hundreds of thumbtacks on that table, Comet! I love it!” Finally, Duran discards the thumbtacks container and goes back up to the apron, turning Terrence around to face him and the SmarkTron, before putting him in a front facelock over the top rope! “No, you don’t think Citizen Duran is going to do what I think he is going to do--” “He is!” Duran tries to lift Janus up and over the top rope, but Bailey blocks it and breaks the front facelock out of nowhere! The crowd is in hysterics, and they only get louder as Duran teeters on the apron, just feet away from going through the table! Terrence gets to his senses, drawing back his fist and then sending it shuddingly forward and connecting with the face of Duran! The Knuckle Bomb nails Duran in his already crimson-red face, and Duran immediately falls backwards off the apron, and... CRASH “OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Right through the table! The thumbtacks and glass fragments smother Duran as he goes through the table, and he sits up in absolute pain as the fans chant two words at the exchange between Terrence and the Notorious One! “HOLY SHIT!” “HOLY SHIT!” “HOLY SHIT!” Duran holds his back, obviously having just been pierced with everything on that table and likely the table itself! “I am in shock, Robert.” “Ditto. Almost tops the weedwhacker incident...almost.” Terrence gawks at the scene below him and then takes advantage, going down to the outside and going beside Duran! However, Duran is guarded by the table and thumbtacks, so Terrence has no choice but to pin down Duran’s shoulders with his huge boot! Hebner counts it as a pinfall, and, having followed Terrence outside of the ring, falls to the mat and begins to count. ONE..... TWO... THREEEEE--- NOOOOOOO! DURAN GETS A SHOULDER UP! The crowd is in disbelief, and so is Terrence as the Notorious One shoots a shoulder up! “TERRENCE TOOK TOO MUCH TIME!” “Citizen Bailey did spend about a half-minute just looking at the wreckage of Citizen Duran’s body, that might’ve been enough in that time to put Duran down for the three!” Terrence looks at the ref in shock and then picks Duran up out of the wreckage of the table, bringing him to the ringside area and planning on throwing him into the ring... ...but Duran shoots a shoulder back! He actually stands upright, and the crowd can’t believe Duran is fighting back! He nails a right hand and tries to go behind Janus for what could potentially be the Blunt Force Trauma, but Janus turns around quickly and brings a hand up, clasping it around Duran’s throat. “No! Blunt Force Trauma, not a chokeslam!” Riley pleads. The pleas are unanswered except from the fans who beg Janus to chokeslam Duran! Terrence tries to go through the motions... ...and Duran gets a boot up and nails Janus in the crotch! The fans in Dayton aren’t liking it at all as Bailey releases the choke grip on Duran, allowing the Notorious One to sneak behind Janus again! The fans are in absolute disgust as Duran is barely able to lift Terrence up off his feet and in an inverted Fireman’s carry! “Yes! Justice will be served, Comet! We’ll have a new hardcore champion!” “I don’t know about that...” Duran moves away from the apron, centering Terrence for a crash landing facefirst into the mat...and then swings the legs out from behind Bailey quickly so he doesn’t have to continue to carry the heavy weight of the behemoth Australian! Duran comes down hard, laying down on the floor as Terrence follows... WHACK And his head nails the barely padded concrete of the outside! The crowd groans in disappointment, begging Janus to kick out. The Notorious One appears to be in a world of pain, his whole body aching. However, Duran is able to turn over and fall over Janus, not even hooking the leg as Duran hopes that the Blunt Force Trauma will be enough! ONE... TWO... THREEEEEEEE! “YES! Comet, he did it! Duran has finally actually won a title in the SWF!” Funyon booms with his announcement, even though no one can hear him if they’re too busy booing, and it’s barely audible on TV. “Here is your winner, and NEW SWF HARDCORE CHAMPIOOOOOOON...JOHN DURAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!” Duran is worn out from his match with Terrence, but he is able to rise to his feet and accept the Hardcore Title from the hands of Mark Hebner. The Notorious One raises his new title high in the air for all to see, as he enters the ring to celebrate some more! “It certainly was a great effort tonight from Citizen Bailey,” Comet praises, “but two shots to the crotch and a loss of a good amount of blood will do that to you, Robert. It’s really a shame.” “Yes,” Riley agrees, “but now I have a Hardcore Champion that I can love!” The camera remains focused on Duran, his pure red face grinning from ear to ear. “It’s been an exciting night, Comet, but from all of us in the SWF, we wish you a--” Riley is interrupted by seeing that the image on the camera has changed, as someone else has entered the picture. IT’S TERRENCE! The crowd gasps and then cheers wildly as Duran drops his Hardcore Title to the outside and falls off the turnbuckle, right into the clutches of Janus as the Anti-Heel Machine beats on the new Hardcore Champion! “What? What is he doing?” Riley questions frantically. Mark Hebner sees all of this going on and tries to break it up, but there’s no stopping Terrence. With blood on his face and rage in his eyes, Bailey absolutely destroys John with a vicious headbutt, taking Duran to the mat as the crowd eats it up! *DING DING DING* Hebner calls for the bell and tries to peel Terrence off again, but there’s no use. Terrence brings Duran into a standing headscissors, and then picks up the Notorious One... ...and he sits out in a powerbomb! The crowd can’t stop cheering this beating, even as Mark Hebner calls to the back for more referees to break this up. Once Bailey gets up, he brings an almost-dead Duran, and this time puts him in a front facelock! The arm goes over the shoulder, and the crowd has a feeling what’s coming next! “NO! NOT THE RAGE UNLEASHED!” Riley screams. Nick Soapdish, Eddy Long, Ced Ordonez, Sexton Hardcastle, and Anthony Michael Hall all rush down to the ring in a hurry, joining the effort to get Terrence to stop his after-match attack on Duran! All five of them make their entrance and start yelling at Bailey, and the crowd boos, wanting the Rage Unleashed! Terrence grabs Duran’s tights and lifts him into the air! The crowd is going nuts... ...but Duran flips out of Terrence’s reach! Duran escapes through the ropes, grabbing his Hardcore Title on the floor and stumbling away from Terrence, as the refs surround the Anti-Heel Machine! “Phew, that was a close one, Comet.” “What has come over Citizen Bailey?” Terrence stares down Duran, trying to get to him but having his progress impeded by the referees... ...and then Terrence lashes out, nailing Anthony Michael Hall with a headbutt! The crowd is shocked by this and then cheers once again, as Terrence comes across, nailing Ced Ordonez with a HUGE Knuckle Bomb! “What is Citizen Bailey DOING?” “I don’t know, but I’m loving it more and more!” Riley’s giddyness continues as the other refs try to scramble out of harm’s way, but it’s another headbutt for Eddy Long and a Knuckle Bomb for Sexton Hardcastle! Nick Soapdish gets caught with a left-handed Knuckle Bomb, and Mark Hebner is left in the ring, all alone with the man he just counted the pinfall on! The crowd is nuts as Hebner tries to leave the ring...but Terrence catches him and puts him in a standing headscissors...and makes the double throat slash!! “DARK BOMB! THAT’S THE SIGNAL FOR THE DARK BOMB!” “No, Citizen Bailey can’t be doing this!” But Terrence is doing this, as he lifts Mark up, putting him on his shoulders in a seated position, and then grabbing Hebner’s belt, lifting him in the air! The fans are taking numerous pictures, the flash bulbs going crazy as Terrence comes down at an extreme angle! BOOM “OHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Hebner is dropped on his shoulders and head as some of the crowd noticeably wince, and Mark Hebner could be declared legally dead after the Dark Bomb. Duran, meanwhile, is beginning to climb up to the ramp, his mouth agape in shock. “Citizen Duran is lucky he didn’t have his neck broken by the Rage Unleashed!” Duran’s blood-covered face is set off by the darkness inside his open mouth, as Terrence glares at him with a terrifying look, piercing a hole through the Notorious One and his new Hardcore Title belt. The sea of downed refs doesn’t appear to be moving as Terrence remains standing, enraged. “...What has happened to Terrence Bailey?” Riley questions. Terrence’s bloody face remains on the screen as Storm comes to a close. Fade to black...

Wandering again through the backstage corridors, checking the outside of the Unnamed’s dressing room as John Duran, James Matheson and Todd Royal walk into the room still discussing what went on in the opening segment. Landon Maddix and Megan Skye in tow of course. The Predator Va’aiga heads off up the corridor, but his progress is impeded by THE MAN… THE MYTH… THE LEGEND that is your hero and mine THE MEMPHIS EEL! The Eel walks up to Va’aiga and offers a handshake, smiling with the permanent slight sneer of the Elvis lip curl. The Eel: Hey World Champ! Didn’t think you could do it Veranda. …and Va’aiga SPLATS the Eel with a VICIOUS, EVIL, FOUL, FOUL MOUTHED, FOUL TEMPERED, CRUSHING A FOUL SUIT, SUPER MEMPHIS SIZED LAAAAAAAAAAAAARIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAATOOOOOOOOOOO

We fade into view to find a SWF camera planted firmly in the middle of a strip mall parking lot right alongside the noted form of the S. S. General Lee Jr., the home of Coy West and Family. Springing from its depths come the ragamuffin squadron of not only Coy and his wife Vera, but his previously unseen children as well. More of a singular organism than three individuals, the children appear attached to the two parents as they make their way out of the camper. “Hey Reggie,” beams Vera to the cameraman who has one before visited the West family in their home and talked about Marlin fishing. “Come on we’re going to Chuck E. Cheese for Jacob’s birthday! He loves him that automatic weasel thing.” Trailing behind the mess that is his family, Coy only offers a little nod of the head to his fishing buddy as he keeps his eyes planted firmly on the ground with his hands still jammed in his pockets. Trailing behind the entire group, the cameraman follows into the family restaurant as Coy still manages to hold the door open for the worker. Into the noise the six people go, with the children almost immediately shooting off into opposite directions for assorted things filled with plastic balls. Calling after the kids to meat them back at the table in fifteen minutes, Vera leaves the hoard to their own devices as she grabs Coy by a wrist and drags him off to a booth. Flopping into a seat with Coy right behind her, Vera motions for the cameraman to take a seat opposite of the couple and he does so. “So what’s up, Reggie?” asks Mrs. West as Coy mumbles the drink orders to the waitress that just came by. “Well, the bosses just wanted a post Clusterfuck interview with some of the participants. And since you all decided to just head out to the next show, they just sent me out here.” “Great,” mumbles Coy as he looks over the menu and sees just how many types of pizza Chuck E. Cheese offers. “What’s wrong Coy?” asks Vera with a raised eyebrow. “Nothing.” Coy asks, “Could it have anything to do with that interview you gave before the Pay-Per-View.” “What interview?” replies Vera. “It’s not important.” “Hell Coy,” answers back Vera, “if you’re gonna piss and moan on your boy’s birthday, I would say its pretty damn important.” “Vera…” “Don’t sass me Coy… Tell me what’s wrong.” “This… this is wrong Vera.” “What? You don’t like Chuck E. Cheese? Well you’re a grown ass man… you shouldn’t like it. I’m surprised that you can stand all that PBS we have the kids watch.” “That isn’t it Vera,” gasps Coy as his voice starts to rise a tidbit. “It’s that my kids are in here with a bunch of strangers. That my kids don’t have friends of their own age to do this stuff with is the problem. They’re stuck in the General with me every day. You’re stuck in there with me. You all deserve better…” “Is that what this mood is all about?” “HELL YES” shouts Coy into the noisy mass of the restaurant, between all the video games and such though, the shout goes unheeded by all except the people at the booth in question. “I let the family down again. I came into Clusterfuck determined that I was going to make that next step. A win there would have set you all up in a nice little house to settle in. The kids could go to regular school. You could have a garden. But instead, I got to keep dragging you guys across the country because I SUCK. I suck as a wrestler. I suck as a parent. I suck as a husband.” “Coy….” Vera trails off as Coy’s features drop a little more, “That must be the DUMBEST thing I ever did hear! You’re a great father! You’re a great husband. The kids love you and I love you. We get to spend all sorts of time together. What more could we want?” “A real life.” “Hell Coy, what sort of bullshit is that? I don’t want to have a “real” life. Cleaning a whole damn house? Having tupperware parties? Watching Lifetime? Besides, I would take a pistol to my head in a week if I couldn’t be with you all the time and you know it.” “What about the kids?” “They don’t know any better! They’ve lived this way their whole lives. Do they look unhappy? Shit Coy, they get to see the whole country with their dad! They love it and they love you. Money doesn’t mean jack to them anyway. They’d rather just run through the woods and throw rocks at each other.” “…” “Damn it boy, don’t make me slap you!” “All right,” says Coy with a little smile on his lips for the first time today, “I know I could never take you. But I just wish I could make things better…” “Everyone wants to make things better, Coy. But no matter how much money you make, there is always something else you could buy. We’re happy with what we got now. Between the wrestling and the bootlegging, we make plenty.” “You sure?” “As sure as the fact that Ashley is trying to pants that boy over there.” “…” “…” “ASHLEY!”

Still wandering backstage, The Predator Va’aiga is looking not for more skulls, but for a little time to himself to think about Grappler and Dace’s challenges to him. Suddenly, Alan Clark bursts around a corner, four women rushing behind him. Alan nearly crashes into the new World Champion, but is able to brake just in time. Va’aiga seems miffed at the former JLer for blocking his way. Alan doesn’t seem to notice. One of the girls behind Alan suddenly hits “play” on a tape deck, and a gospel style instrumental can be heard… Clark: So…everrryyyone….do you knoooow the World Champion Va’aiga? Girls: Yeah! Clark: And you all knoooooooow that he is known for that Stinger~! Girls: Oh yeah! Clark: Well what if I told you… Girls: Yeah? Clark: What if I TOLLLLLLD YOU… Girls: Yeah? Clark: The true true TRUE story…behind this crazy, crazy Maori… …Alan goes over the edge, lost in the trance of the music… Clark: Va'aiga was a man with a dream… Girls: With a dream! Clark: Stinging the whole world down Girls: Yeah the whole world! Clark: He'll take all the competition you can give 'em…All those fantasies you've had, well this man's lived 'em! Girls: OH YEAH~! Clark: And you know...oh yes you know...that Va'aiga will take on annnnnnnnnyone...oh yes he will...and do you know why? Girls: Why? Clark: Do you know WHY? Girls: WHY? Clark: I KNOW YOU KNOW WHY... ...cause he's the Worrrrrrrrrrrrlllllld Champ-EEEEEEEEEEE-UNNNNN~!!! Alan falls to his knees and looks to the sky, finishing with a flourish…with the champ watching his every move. Alan finally comes to a stop and gets to his feet, brushing himself off a bit… Clark: How was that? Va’aiga cocks his head and stares at Clark for a moment… AND WASTES ALAN CLARK WITH THE EVIL, NASTY, MAKE IT BOUNCE, MAKE IT BEAT, KNOCK THIS MOTHERFUUUUUUCKER OFF HIS FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET LAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTOOOOOOOO~! With one vicious LARIAT~!, Alan Clark is sent into the air and flipping backwards…a musical blur…spinning a full 450 degrees and landing on the concrete floor on his back. The hallway is filled with the high-pitched screams of Alan’s backup singers…who rush in every direction to get away from the big Maori. The World Champion simply adjusts his mask as he steps over Alan Clark and continues his journey, unstopped, down the now-empty hallway.

Backstage, Alan Clark sits in a room that can only be described as “a bit more than a closet”. The room is small, though not too small, as Alan is seated in a comfy lounge chair, his guitar sitting by the door. A small television keeps Alan’s attention, as he watches the ending of the Tom Flesher vs. Wildchild Ladder Match – a match that ushered in the new cruiserweight haven of the SWF. As the match draws to a close, with Wildchild celebrating his victory and new championship – Alan Clark flips off the television and turns his attention to the camera. (Alan) On Sunday night, as I prepared to step into the Clusterfuck, the opening ladder match of the show captivated me. Two men giving their all for a prize that they didn’t even know. When the prize was revealed to be a new Cruiserweight championship, I knew that I had found my place in the SWF. (pause) (Alan) Some of you may think I’m crazy wanting to put myself against some of the best competition in the WF right now. But when I look at guys like Wildchild, I don’t see myself becoming a failure. I see respect. I see a future. I see…freedom. When I step into that ring, I visualize everything that I can do to win. I take my risks…I bleed…I sacrifice my body for victory. I truly have seen a million faces – and I’ve rocked them all. Now if you excuse me… I have a few more faces to rock… Alan stands and walks toward the door, grabbing his guitar as he swings the door open and walks out, where a small stage has been set up in front of a few members of the ring crew. (Alan) Hello everyone, and thanks for coming to my show. I would start off tonight with a little song I wrote Tuesday night… Alan gets a few claps as he begins to strum his guitar and sing… I say one day I’ll rule the world I say I’ll be the king I say I wanna live my life to the fullest What am I waiting for? While the clock ticks down To the final strum of my guitar I’ll use every waking moment To see just how high I can raise that bar I only have one life to live I won’t let it go to waste Spending all my time and energy Just to finish in last place I’ve only got one life to live I say one day I’ll forget the past I say I’ll see the light I say I wanna look to the future Isn’t that what life’s about? While my friends burn out and fade to gray Their world lost in time I’ll look up toward the heavens And those walls I’ve yet to climb I only have one life to live Before the final note of my life’s song plays One life to live Will my liner notes be something That I can truly leave behind? So all the fans I’m sure to have Will know the life I’ve lived. Alan finishes up, simply singing the last two lines without accompaniment. Alan drops his head and a lighting crew member dims the lights momentarily, allowing a bit of appluase to come from the crowd, that now includes a few wrestlers. Alan looks up and looks to the crowd. (Alan) Thank you, thank you…hopefully I will be here for a long time… Alan smiles softly before going into his next tune…leaving the scene to fade out …Believe In Miracles…

(The camera fades to a pre-taped segment, as "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins sits by himself, on a steel folding chair, in what appears to be the dressing room of the many wrestlers of the SWF. The camera focuses in on him, as he wipes his hands over his face, and looks up from the floor.) "Welcome all those, out in TV land. Some of you may know me, but some of you don't. My name is 'Hollywood' Spike Jenkins. If you payed the thirty-five dollars, you not only witnessed Wildchild becoming the first SWF Cruiserweight Champion, Sacred becoming the USJL Champion, Charlie 'Grappler' Matthews winning the fourth annual SWF Clusterfuck, and Va'aiga, a man I know all too well, finally climbing the mountain to the top, and defeating Danny Williams for the SWF World Championship. But you also, witnessed the debut of ME. Granted, I didn't last very long in the 'Fuck. In fact, I was the second man eliminated. But that is all right. It would have been great too win the Clusterfuck in my debut, but hey. What am I going to do about it now? But I do have some matters to get out of the way, before I continue on my road to the top of the SWF." (Spike pauses for a moment to catch his breathe, and to get his thoughts back on track.) "Dace Night. Now, for those at home, who haven't a clue what the deal between me and Dace is, I'll bring you up to speed. About a year ago, in the SJL, there was this show, called Malice in Wonderland. Now, on this show, there was the first ever, Damnation in a Box match. This match, was a huge match. Weapons, barbed wire, C4 Explosives. The whole shebang. And then there were me, and Dace. We both walked into that cage, and knew, we were not going to walk out the same men. And we didn't. We went in, killed each other, and got stretchered out. Dace, don't think I forgot. You came out the winner that night. I will NEVER forget that. I respect you Dace, but soon enough. We will meet in the middle of the ring. One more time. And I will get my victory back. That, I promise." (Spike pulls a water bottle off the ground, unscrews the cap, and takes a sip. Spike places the water bottle back down on the floor, and stares straight into the camera.) "Now, the reason why I am taking up some valuable air time. Thugg! You want to attack me from behind? You want to throw me through a window? WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? Wait . . . I’ll tell you who you are. You are The Hville Thugg. You are the biggest, meanest mother in this promotion. You walk where you want to walk. You do what you want. And no one is going to stop you. But you made a mistake, pal. Yeah, YOU. You attacked me from behind! You blind sided me. All because I’m a Leaguer. Well, you listen to me. I am no longer a leaguer. I am a full-fledged member of the SWF Roster. I AM ‘HOLLYWOOD’ SPIKE JENKINS! Do you have any idea who I am . . . ?” (Spike stops for a second, regaining his composure. Spike relaxes himself, as he realizes what is going on in Thugg’s mind.) “No. You don’t. That is why you did it. You don’t know who I am. To you, I am just some leaguer. And in a way, you are right. But not now. NOT ANYMORE. That is going to stop, RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW! Thugg, you may be bigger then me. You may be badder then me. BUT YOU ARE NOT BETTER THEN ME! Thugg, I am calling your ass out! Me and you! One on One! My schedule is open for Wednesday. So how about on Lockdown! “Hollywood” Spike Jenkins, meets The Hville Thugg, one on one. And I KNOW you won’t back down from a challenge, from a Leaguer. That’s not your style, Thugg. You are a fighter......So come fight me.” (Spike stares intensely at the camera, as the screen fades to black.)

FADE IN The camera cuts to an interview area backstage, where Kevin Cole is standing in front of a video camera. Raising a microphone to his lips, he says, “I’m pleased to be standing next to the brand new SWF Cruiserweight, the Wildchild!” He pauses as the camera zooms out and moves slightly to the right to include the Bahama Bomber in the picture. Wildchild is cradling the Cruiserweight Championship belt to his chest like a newborn child, an all-day smile plastered across his face. “Wildchild, what has the last week been like for you?” “Lemme tell you, monsieur,” Wildchild says laughingly, “I haven’ stopped de party since Sunday night! Me an’ Johnny been out, we been partyin’ like de Junkanoo, man! We been up and down I-71 like it was jus’ one big Bay Street, man! We even had some bellers dere, man!” “Bellers,” puzzles Cole. “Well, anyway, congratulations on winning the Cruiserweight Title; you and Tom Flesher put on a hell of a match last Sunday; both of you put forth a tremendous effort, and really set the bar for the whole night! It was the kind of match where it was truly a shame that somebody had to lose!” “Oui,” agrees Wildchild, who suddenly turns to face the camera, a serious expression on his face. “An’ Tom, I wan’ you t’know dat I have de utmost respect for you; you brought de best out of me, an’ anytime you want a shot at dis…” He pauses, gesturing towards the Cruiserweight Title with his head before continuing, “it’s yours. You have but t’say de word, mon ami.” “What would you say winning this title means to you?” Wildchild pauses before replying, trying to organize his thoughts. “Back while I was goin’ t’school at de University of Florida, I saw Super Crazy an’ Scoot Andrews wressle in IPW, an’ I realized dat I could do dis for a livin’. When de SWF came callin’, it was like de chance of a lifetime; De opportunity t’follow in de footsteps of Divefire (cheers), El Luchadore Magnifico (cheers), an’ de man himself, Tom Flesher (loud cheers)… I couldn’ pass dat up! An’ now dat I’ve become de Cruiserweight Champion, I have de chance to carve my own place out in Cruiserweight history…” “AHEM!” Wildchild turns around to find the source of his interruption, and finds himself standing face to face with Landon Maddix. “I couldn’t help but overhear your offer to give Tom Flesher a title shot,” says Maddix dryly. “How very big of you… It’s nice to know that the SWF is just as cliquish as the JL used to be…” Wildchild looks at him in bewilderment. “I’m sorry; and you are?” Maddix puffs up in irritation. “And I am? And *I* am? I happen to be Landon Maddix! I was the last SJL Heavyweight Champion!” Wildchild scratches his chin as if in thought. “Ah, oui. You were dat guy dat Sacred made his bitch back on Sunday…” Landon’s cheeks redden with rage, and he stands up on his toes, getting right in Wildchild’s face. “You’d better show me the respect I deserve, or else I’m going to beat it out of you! I’m the future of the SWF, and if you had any guts, you’d put that title up against me!” The Bahama Bomber shrug with frustrating indifference. “Okay, monsieur. You wan’ a match? I’ll give you a match; in fact, we can go right now!” The Nutter Center explodes, but Maddix recoils. “Oh, not tonight. I don’t have my gear tonight. But I tell you what; put that title on the line at Lockdown, and I’ll show you what a real Cruiserweight is all about!” Wildchild grins at him. “You got it. Show up on Lockdown, an’ we’ll paint de town red!” Maddix storms off down the corridor, while Wildchild looks on. As we: FADE OUT

Brooding as he walks down the backstage corridors, looking for peace and solace, collecting his thoughts, the Maori Badass idly plays with his black leather mask, and the Va’aiga winces as a movement of the uncomfortable and unfamiliar mask grinds against his sore orbital bone. His moment’s peace is broken by an all too horribly familiar voice. Spike Jenkins: What in the world happened to the Maori? You look like The Predator with that leather on your face. Va’aiga barely looks up as the blonde haired cruiserweight leans cockily on a wall nearby him. Va’aiga: Spike Jenkins. I’m not the predator. Just *A* predator. I hunt for skulls and gold and at the Clusterfuck I got one of each. And you finally made it big time. You know we go back. Way back. Back before the Moko. Back before the Boo-yah because as big as it is. No man I ever faced took so much of a shitkicking, but no man I ever face came back time and time and time and time again. You are harder to shift that blood on white clothing. And for that you get a little respect. Now you get the good effects of that respect. Say “Congrats, Champ” and get the hell out of my face, before I change my mind and lariat you into next week. Spike Jenkins: Congrats, Champ Va’aiga pauses a second, as if mentally deciding whether to lariat the Hollywood Superstar anyway, but he shakes his head and walks off down the corridor, only stopping briefly for a quick… Va’aiga: BOO-YAH!

As we return from commercial, we find Benjamin Hardy, SWF Ace Interviewer, standing next to a large man backstage... a man who has just been through a very tough time... "Ben Hardy here with Michael Craven, right after his close loss in the Clusterfuck match," the star interviewer begins. "How do you feel about the Clusterfuck match, Mr. Craven?" Craven sits there, unhappy, even as Hardy begins to lift the microphone up to his face. There is a long awkward pause, and then, Craven finally speaks. "Ben, Ben, Ben... do you know what it feels like to have victory snatched from you, to be seconds away from accomplsihing the impossible? You all know I certainly do." Craven pauses, collecting his thoughts on the night that was supposed to be his crowning achievement, and a chance for him to prove that he was the rightful heir to the SWF throne of champions. And needless to say... he's not happy about it. "I went from #1, survived the entire match... only to lose to a GOD DAMN BELT SHOT!!!!!" His anger and frustration protruding through, Craven looks up in to the camera, teeth clenched, breath heavy while he tries to keep control of his rage inside. "Grappler, you are a sneaky little bastard. Coming in at #20 and then winning with a belt shot to my exhausted body. You certainly proved one thing for certain... and that is you wouldn't have won if you were in my place." The fans seem indifferent to Craven, wanting to cheer him for his verbal attack on Grappler, but still hating him for the vile, cunning monster he really is. "And for once in my life," he continues, "I have nothing against Mark Stevens. Hell, he may have helped me by putting me at number one, and I can't believe I'm going to say this... but thank you..." The crowd... suddenly pops? What? The crowd popping for Craven? This cannot be right!! "... for helping me prove once again that I, Michael Craven, am the best damn wrestler in the SWF, period." Ah, there we go. Craven's little trickery with words sends the crowd back into their chorus of boos, once again unhappy with the King of Nightmares as he continues. "And then, I sat and watched Va'aiga, a badass monster of a man, tear Danny Williams limb from limb. Needless to say, I was impressed. The way he tore Danny Williams apart and made him his bitch was BEAUTIFUL. They should be exhibiting that in the Smithsonian, for cryin' out loud..." And the floodgates open, a massive booing from the sold-out crowd before they launch into a chant for their fallen hero... [*i]"DAN-E! DAN-E!"[/i] [*i]"DAN-E! DAN-E!"[/i] However, being backstage, Craven cannot hear the crowd that well from his position. Regardless, he'd just ignore them anyways, since they'll be out of his life in about an hour or so. "But Craven," Hardy inquires over the chanting fans, "what do you have to say about your future now after the Clusterfuck match?" Craven looks down at Hardy, who shoves them microphone back into his face. Craven pushes the microphone out of his face, then begins to speak. "You can't change the future, Ben," The King of Nightmares begins. "It's a little thing called fate, a little thing called destiny, and that little thing has revealed my future." "My future is with the SWF World Title," Craven announces, almost playing prophet with his predictions. "There is no changing that... for it has what has been revealed to me. It waits for me, it calls my name, looking for the one it is destined to find... the one who is the true champion..." Briefly, Craven stops, allowing the still booing fans to be heard, The King of Nightmares smiling before he continues on. "I control fate and destiny, and you play by its rules. The laws of society, the laws of physics... hell, any set of laws known in this universe, does not apply to the power of what is to become, what truly controls the world and makes it MINE." Pausing, the camera zooms in on Craven as he intensly stares it down, about to deliver a message to the world that he wants heard loud and clear... "And in this world, there is only one thing you need to know..." "Craven is law. Craven is order." And with that, we fade to black.

The electronic beats of “Meaning Of Life” by Disturbed vibrate across the Ervin J. Nutter arena and the crowd turn to the entrance way, even the ones who never followed the J League recognising the music and the wrestler from his appearance in the Clusterfuck. “It’s Jacob Helmsley!” exclaims Comet as the guitars kick in, “Former Junior Leaguer and participant in the Clusterfudge, and the opponent for debutant Toxxic tonight. My sympathies go out to the rookie - he is hardly the most welcoming face you could see on your arrival in the SWF!” Helmsley strides slowly down the ramp, completely ignoring the mass of humanity in the building, his green eyes focused on the ring in front of him as he grips the steel pipe by his side. “Ladies and gentlemen,” Funyon announces, “he hails from Calgary, Alberta, Canada, he weighs in at 227lbs, this is JAAAACOB..... HEEEELLLLMMMMMSSSSLEEEEEYYY!!!!!! As he reaches the ring the Canadian swings his weapon, striking the ring post with a hollow *THUNK* noise before clambering through the ropes, every motion as deliberate as a sniper selecting his target. He advances past Funyon as if the announcer wasn’t there, and slowly takes off his long jacket. “More to the point, does anyone care?” inquires Riley. “At least some of the fans know Jacob from the SJL, and everyone saw him in the Clusterfuck. If this is all the response he gets then we could be looking at the first ever crowd reaction to score below “apathatic” on the Pop-o-meter when the new guy comes out.” The strains of Disturbed are replaced by the brutal guitars of Lostprophets as “We Still Kill The Old Way” fills the Ervin J. Nutter arena to a complete lack of response. GO! Two red pyros go off, and the newest SWF wrestler makes his way through the smoke, evidently psyching himself up for his debut. “And his opponent,” recites Funyon, “from Nottingham, England, weighing in at 218 lbs, this... is... TOXXXXXIIIIICCCCC!!!!!!!” The new arrival charges the ring, scales a ringpost and sweeps his arms wide, palms down. A couple of fans look curious and there are one or two interested noises from some of the teenage females present, but the general response compares unfavourably to a windy day in a cemetery, a fact that Bobby Riley is quick to note. “You know Comet, I’ve heard louder responses in a windy cemetery than this guy Toxxic is garnering here. Although he is wearing eyeliner, which counts slightly in his favour.” “Give him time, Bobbo,” responds the superhero commentator. “I’m sure that both Helmsley and Toxxic will surprise you with the quality of the match they will put on for us tonight. As for the match itself the tactics should be interesting, as Helmsley clearly has the height and reach advantage but my sources tell me that Toxxic is something of a high-flying risk-taker!” *DING-DING-DING!* Both competitors stand facing each other as the bell goes, sizing each other up. Helmsley makes the first move, reaching an arm upwards, fingers outstretched in the classic starting position for a test of strength. Toxxic appears to consider for a moment, then responds in like kind. “Apalling move straight off the bat!” exclaims Riley as the two wrestlers interlock fingers on one hand. “Toxxic showing his stupidity by getting into a test of strength where he is blatantly outmatched!” However, as soon as the fingers on his other hand mesh with Helmsley’s the rookie reacts as if hearing Riley’s words, using the leverage to leap straight into the air and plant a double-footed dropkick flush on the chest of his adversary! Helmsley staggers backwards, the grip broken, and Toxxic completes a backflip, lands on one knee and grins his lopsided grin. “Excellent sense from young Toxxic there after all,” Comet declares. “He knew he was outmatched and he has to know about Helmsley’s liking for close-in work, so he gets in the first shot of the match whilst keeping the bigger man at a distance.” Growling, the Canadian lunges forward, but the cruiserweight ducks his adversary’s attempted clothesline and then starts firing off right hands to Helmsley’s jaw as he turns. The punches seem to daze and drive the bigger man back but no more, so Toxxic changes his attack to a European uppercut which connects with brutal force to Helmsley’s chin, staggering him back onto the ropes. “You exchange punches with a bigger guy, you get taken down,” Riley comments, sounding bored. “He’ll find that out soon enough.” “But Toxxic is targeting the head of Jacob Helmsley,” Comet argues, “which is not only the focus of his preferred finisher, the Toxxic Shock Syndrome, but must also still be hurting after the brutal manner of Helmsley’s elimination from the Clusterfudge by a Michael Craven powerbomb to the floor - Dear God!” The cause of Comet’s exclamation is an irish whip from Toxxic, the rookie following Helmsley to the other side of the ring and clotheslining him over the top rope. Perhaps with his elimination from the Clusterfuck still in mind Helmsley holds on, pulling himself upright on the apron by a ring rope, but his relief is short-lived as Toxxic jumps to the second turnbuckle and then flies clean over the ropes, landing astride the Canadian’s shoulders and hurricaranaing him to the cold arena floor! Helmsley regains his feet again only to receive another European uppercut from the Brit which staggers him against the guard rail. “Come on, Jacob!” yells Riley, taking an interest for the first time. “Squash the little squirt, I’ve got ten bucks riding on him being unable to compete again after this!” However Helmsley continues to lean against the rail, momentarily dazed by Toxxic’s assault on his injured head. Looking up as the haze clears the Calgary native sees Toxxic back in the ring but sprinting towards him. “Toxxic’s going for a suicide dive early on in this match!” calls Comet. Helmsley ducks and moves to one side as the rookie leaps towards the top rope... but instead of crashing rib-first to an inglorious end and certain internal injuries on the guard rail, Toxxic balances on the top rope for a moment before backflipping back into the ring, landing on one knee and inspecting an imaginary watch on his wrist... then pointing and staring into the middle distance, rubbing his chin... then standing up, placing his hands on his hips and giving the fans a huge cheesy smile. The high-risk aerial offence combined with such blatant showmanship encourages the Ervin J. Nutter building to make some real noise for the first time in the match, and Toxxic bathes in the crowd’s cheers - completely missing the return to the ring of a now severely displeased Jacob Helmsley. “Russian leg sweep!” calls a delighted Bobby Riley as Helmsley nails the startled Brit with a picture perfect version. “Standing around and smiling may get these morons to cheer, but it’s just lost you the match!” Helmsley hauls Toxxic back to his feet by his head but the British cruiserweight fires up again, knocking his opponent’s hands away and firing off with a right - a left - a right - a left - he winds up like a baseball pitcher, and spins round in a Discus Clothesline.... ...Only to get caught in an STO position by Helmsley. Trapped by the former J Leaguer’s muscular arm, Toxxic can do nothing as the Canadian holds him there for several seconds before sweeping his legs out from under him and driving him harshly downwards to the unforgiving mat. *BAM!* Barely has the breath been blasted from the Brit’s battered body when Helmsley scoops his prey up again and fires off a right hand that would have knocked Toxxic off his feet had Helmsley not been gripping him by the hair. Taking his opponent’s forearm Jacob whips Toxxic across the ring backfirst into the turnbuckles, but even as the debutant’s face creases up in agony Helmsley adds an exclamation point to the beating taken by Toxxic’s solar plexus as he lowers his head and charges, driving his shoulder into the straight-edger’s ribcage with devastating force. *CRUNCH!* “That’ll teach him!” cackles Bobby Riley. “All that aerial crap looks impressive but when you get down to it, it packs about as much punch as a 90 year-old’s right hook!” “I hate to agree with you Bobbo,” sighs Comet, “but the early flurry of offence from Citizen... Toxxic appears to have had little effect other than to enrage his opponent, and now Citizen Helmsley is taking this match to the new arrival in no uncertain manner.” As Toxxic staggers out of the corner Helmsley grabs the wheezing cruiser and slams him back and down, simultaneously dropping to one knee. The resulting impact on Toxxic’s spine causes the rookie to yell out in pain and the crowd, having just started to get behind Helmsley’s opponent, to boo accordingly. Helmsley shows his normal lack of reaction to anything but the in-ring action as he covers his opponent, hooking Toxxic’s far leg almost up under his chin. ONE! TWO! Toxxic isn’t ready to go down yet however, and the rookie kicks out just after the two count. Wordlessly Helmsley picks the Brit up again, hooking both arms around the waist of his doubled-over opponent before hoisting him up into the air with a gutwrench into a Canadian Backbreaker position! Helmsley wrenches the hold in tight as Toxxic gasps for air and the crowd continue to express their displeasure at the turn of events. “You know, maybe I didn’t give Helmsley enough credit,” muses Bobby Riley. “He’s certainly dominating this match effectively now.” “Yes, but I can’t help but wonder at his tactics,” Comet replies. “Instead of working the legs to eliminate Toxxic’s high-flying offense, and indeed set up the Fear Factor, Helmsley is instead focusing on the ribs and midsection.” “Ah, but that’s just as good,” counters Riley. “We’ve both seen men with only one working leg win matches, but virtually every movement you make requires the use of your abdominal muscles in some form. Helmsley is just being, dare I say it, cautious. Instead of completely taking out one form of attack he’s making Toxxic’s overall game less effective, and if Toxxic can’t perform any move at full power then Helmsley’s stamina gives him a decided advantage!” Referee Michael Hall checks on Toxxic asking the rookie if he wants to give it up, but the answer is academic as Helmsley doesn’t wait for the verdict, instead slamming Toxxic forwards and down to connect with the canvas again, ribs first. *WHAM!* Helmsley follows Toxxic down and again covers his adversary, hooking the leg in an attempt to pick up the win. ONE! TWO! THR-NO! “Toxxic is not ready to quit yet!” Comet shouts. “But then again, now Helmsley has slowed the match to a pace more comfortable to him you have to wonder how long the rookie can last!” Still deliberately, Helmsley again pulls Toxxic up and fires off another right hand, staggering his opponent. The Canadian then whips Toxxic into the ropes and bends over, perhaps going for a back bodydrop, but the SWF crowd was never to find out as Toxxic instead rams Helmsley’s face into his knee before falling backwards, spiking Jacob’s head into the mat with a DDT! “That’s a Sobering Thought!” yells Comet, animated again. “What is?” asks a puzzled Bobby Riley. “That’s what he calls that little combo,” replies Comet. “Now, can Toxxic maintain this momentum?” However, despite these two blows to the head Helmsley regains his feet at the same time as Toxxic does, the Brit now clutching his injured midsection. Toxxic goes for a whip into the corner but Helmsely reverses it and sends the rookie in instead - however, as Helmsley starts to follow him in Toxxic springs to the top rope and come flying back at his opponent with a clothesline, wiping him out! “Role Reversal,” Comet calls, “and it’s lived up to its name!” “Look again using your supersight,” snorts Bobby Riley. “Helmsley’s rib work has done it’s job and our little poser is in trouble!” Riley’s words are proved to be correct as the effort of jumping first to the top and then springing back at Helmsley, not to mention the wrenching impact as his arm hit the Canadian’s muscular frame has clearly hurt Toxxic further, and despite being the man who took the move it is Helmsley who pulls himself up first. He advances towards Toxxic, who is now on one knee... *SMACK!* “Helmsley just walked straight into a desperation superkick!” Comet points out helpfully. “Toxxic tried to channel the spirit of Shawn Michaels for that one!” “But only succeeded in channelling the spirit of Stevie Richards,” retorts Riley. “Look, Helmsley’s up first again. What did they feed this guy in the SJL?” Sure enough, Helmsley’s advance is as relentless as an avalanche despite the crunching impact to the jaw, and although shaking his head a couple of times to clear the cobwebs he quickly regains control over Toxxic, wrapping both arms around the Brit’s waist and hoisting him high in the air before slamming him down with the belly-to-belly suplex! “Lights out time!” rejoices Riley. “I’ve really come to like Helmsley over the course of this match.” “It’s not over yet,” cautions Comet, “but I must agree that Helmsley has been very impressive, taking what Toxxic has thrown at him and dishing out some severe punishment of his own - what’s he going to do now?” Helmsley hauls Toxxic up to his feet but this time Toxxic grabs his opponent’s head in both hands and drops to a sitting position, causing Helmsley’s jaw to slam into the top of his head! Staggering backwards Helmsley half-turns away from Toxxic, and in what might be a last effort Toxxic propels himself upright and hooks Helmsley for a neckbreaker - but the Canadian shifts position and hooks his own arms upwards, trapping those of Toxxic and hoisting him in the air. “Black Stallion!” Comet screams. “One of the most devastating finishers in the SJL is about to be performed on Toxxic! It was a good effort kid, but- HE GOT OUT OF IT!” Sure enough, as he feels himself being lifted off the floor Toxxic pushes with his feet, adding his own momentum to that generated by Helmsley as the bigger man seeks to crush Toxxic’s neck and end the match. Flipping with the direction of the move Toxxic lands on his feet in front of Helmsley, who stumbles forward from the effort he put into the Black Stallion attempt - and is caught in a small package! ONE! TWO! THREE!!! *DING-DING-DING* “WHAT!?” screams Riley. “A blatant miscarriage of justice!” Helmsley’s expression seems to agree as the big Canadian glares at Toxxic, already halfway up the ramp, but the debutant just shrugs and grins as if to say “them’s the breaks” and heads for the back as the crowd cheers.

Card: Toxxic vs. Jacob Helmsley The JL is dead, but long live the influx of new talent! A promising rookie named Toxxic has just been signed, and Commissioner Stevens wants to see what he's made of. Enter our resident pipe-wielding maniac Jacob Helmsley... Rules: standard singles match, DQ and countouts. And Your Main Event! Janus vs. "The Notorious" John Duran There's more build for this HCG Title match than there has been for a long time. The Unnamed/Trinity feud came to a head last night, but the denouement comes now. Rules: none. at all. anywhere falls and submissions, no countouts or DQs.

BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOA WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOA The opening fireworks for SWF Storm is integrated with the beginning of Sepultura’s “Bullet The Blue Sky”, as the crowd immediately explodes into boos! The SmarkTron video plays for the Unnamed, but only John Duran and Va’aiga make their entrance. They come down to the ring together, both of them looking focused and not responding to the crowd. Va’aiga, the new SWF World Champion enters the ring first and Duran follows, as “Bullet The Blue Sky” fades and Va’aiga gets a mic from Funyon. “Here’s your new world champion, folks!” Riley interjects. Va’aiga, the new World Champion, raises the microphone and begins to speak. “For thousands of years, my race has hunted, for food, for sport, for rites of passage. Last night, this Maori hunted for the one thing he craved. And LOOK what I caught at the Clusterfuck.” The Maori Badass hoists his SWF World Title belt into the air, and the crowd boos the Maori until he begins talking again. “I AM YOUR CHAMPION!” Va’aiga screams. “The Maori did it, despite all the odds, despite all the people who’ve held me back, held me down over the years I’ve put into this sport, despite wrestling for half the match with a BROKEN *BEEP*ING CHEEKBONE...I became Heavyweight Champion of the world.” The fans in Dayton boo Va’aiga again, as a clip airs on the SmarkTron from Clusterfuck on February 1st. Picking the Maori up off the mat with one arm, Danny Williams wraps that self same arm round the back of the Maori’s head, holding him in position for a precisely aimed elbow strike, Deathwish’s elbow again smashing powerfully into the cheekbone of the Maori. There’s a DISTURBING snapping sound, and Va’aiga reels away in pain. A close up from the camera reveals a small trickle of blood dripping from the edge of the Maori’s mouth and rolling down his cheek. With a dazed look in his eyes, Mark Hebner takes Va’aiga to one side and looks into his eyes, but as he’s not entitled to stop the match, he simply asks the Maori if he wants to give up, and Va’aiga responds with a shake of his head again. Hebner signals for the pair to fight on. Va’aiga begins again as soon as the clip finishes airing, the crowd only slightly booing. “The Maori is holding this belt for Aotearoa, and for the Unnamed. And that is the cake. Now some of you may remember Silent.” The name gets a mixed reaction from the Ohioans. “When I dropped him on a chair with a big southern lights bomb, he didn’t get up right. He hasn’t been seen since. I don’t care what happened to him, but he’s gone. Then it happened again. I hit the stinger on Xstasy...he hasn’t come back since. He may not be injured, he may be just scared, but it’s all the same to the Maori. And then last night I did THIS.” The fans boo Va’aiga once again as we are directed to another clip. The Maori Badass ducks behind Danny and lifts him up into a torture rack, still keeping the half goku-raku locked in, and all the air is sucked out of the arena as the crowd realize what’s about to happen. Va’aiga’s face is crunched into a scowl as he adds a little extra pain, working the torture rack on Danny’s already wrecked back. Danny Williams looks GONE, his back wrenched every which way in the hold, the air being drained from his lungs by the legal half choke. Dace Night’s face is frozen as he relives the moment when this, the most devastating move in the Maori’s arsenal happened to him, leaving him unable to wrestle for a good week and a half afterwards, an amazing feat for such a tough bastard as the High Priest of Horrorcore. John Duran smiles, having seen the move before and being satisfied there is little more Danny can do to escape the predicament. The camera pans across the crowd, watching shocked and stunned faces, hearing little noise as from near seven foot up… Va’aiga Drops Danny On His Mother Fucking Skull. The clip ends, and the crowd is incited with anger after doing such a thing to one of the biggest names in the SWF today. “Just awful, Robert,” Comet chimes in. “And you know what?” Va’aiga asks. “I got word from the hospital, from some news wire or dirt sheet or something else I wouldn’t normally wipe my wolfhound’s backside with that Danny Williams won’t be back.” A HUMONGOUS amount of boos for this, and a smile crawls across Danny’s face at the news. “And you know something, that got me thinking. Did I go too far? Did I maybe take a liberty with a man’s career… a man’s LIFE? I had time in that hospital bed while they were resetting my damn face to have a long hard think about it, and I decided.” There is a pause, and the silence hangs in the air over the Ervin J. Nutter Center. “*BEEP* DANNY WILLIAMS!” Va’aiga screams, having the censors scrambling again, the crowd now booing Va’aiga’s every word. “Who’s the champ NOW Danny? You tried to bury me at every turn, you tried to favour that idiot Dace over me, and look where it got you. I don’t care if you wind up DEAD and if that stinger did dislodge something enough to kill you, you can ROT IN RAROHENGA WHEREYOU BELONG!” “That’s hell for us non-Maoris.” Riley informs us as Va’aiga passes the microphone to John Duran. “Tonight is the night,” Duran begins, with a grin on his face that gets him booed already. “I’ve waited for weeks, upon weeks, upon weeks, I’ve been delayed for this one chance. And this is it! All alone, I will capture that Hardcore Title from Janus, and I will make him bleed!” The crowd doesn’t like that, and most fans give a thumbs down to Duran and some chant “FUCK YOU DU-RAN *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP*”. “Then the Unnamed will spread their dominance over this federation,” Duran boldly predicts, the crowd’s boos going over to Va’aiga as he is handed the microphone again. “And the Unnamed have some news for you. We’ve been scouting out all the great new talent that’s entered into the federation, and we came across a couple of guys who seem like they can perform at the very highest level.” “Of course,” Duran butts in, “with Grand Slam in charge, new guys never get a shot. Grand Slam in charge is usually just a bad idea to begin with.” Duran’s bashing of the commissioner is not accepted well, to make an understatement. “Unless you luck out, you have to fight your way tooth and nail against the system, like the Maori here. That’s not what these guys deserve. So we’re gonna make you an offer. Come out from the back right now, and join up with the Unnamed. You got all the potential in the world, and having the World Champion and the FUTURE Hardcore champion watching your back, maybe you can grab tag gold, cruiserweight gold… maybe in the future you might get the big gold around your waist. It won’t happen overnight, but we can make it happen.” Duran finishes his pitch to the locker room. “Who could they be choosing to join the group?” Comet wonders out loud. “Todd! Get your people out here!” AC/DC’s “Shoot To Thrill” cues up and the House of Todd enters, Todd Royal, Landon Maddix, and Megan Skye all heading down to the ring together as the crowd recognizes them from the Clusterfuck and immediately begins to give them a steady round of boos! The three of them ignore it all as they continue down, looking snug and content with themselves as they enter the ring. Duran continues talking as the House of Todd joined the Unnamed in the ring. “See, we’ve always been impressed by the House of Todd…” “My Todd is an awesome Todd!” Megan confesses. Duran glares at Megan and then smiles to himself. “Quite. And you’ve been touched by the hand of Todd yourself… but anyway seeing the intensity of Royal and Maddix in that locker room, ready for the Clusterfuck, that convinced me.” Duran looks over at Va’aiga. “Us. That you would be perfect for the Unnamed, and we will fully back the House of Todd as future SWF Tag Team Champions of the world, under the Unnamed banner! “Hmm,” Maddix ponders. “But isn’t Va’aiga your leader? I mean no one is higher than the Almighty Todd himself.” “Consult the book of Todd,” advises Megan. “We would be supporting you,” Duran repeats. “It’s their Todd given right. How can the Unnamed fail with Todd on their side?” The crowd boo Todd’s obvious conceited opinion of himself, as Landon and Royal chuckle away to themselves, and Duran even gets in a stifled laugh. “The simple answer is…they can’t.” More boos from the fans, who are growing weary of Todd’s personality already. “Clusterfuck may not have been the best of starts for us two, admittedly. But right now…I promise you that me and Landon…and Megan, together we will not let you down, Champ. Todd Damn! What a night! See, previous generations all had their landmarks. Your parents may be able to say they were there when the Berlin Wall fell. Your grandparents were probably watching when World War II ended. Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, is YOUR landmark. The night you'll measure the rest of your Todd-forsaken life on.” The crowd doesn’t agree with this, and boos Todd to no end. He continues unflustered. “Because tonight is the night the two greatest forces in wrestling come together. The best young tag team in professional wrestling joins the most prestigious group in the business. And YOU were here to watch it all go down. But I'm sure you've all got questions. Like why would Todd Royal, who is so successful on his own, become part of a stable?” “It just so happens, I was wondering the same question, Robert.” “Well, I'll tell you what. I came to the SWF expecting the same mindless mass of Toddless morons that I had to deal with in the SJL. Pleasantly, I was wrong. See, the Unnamed saw an opportunity. They looked at the JL roster and saw the best damn tag team around, and decided to take us in. And Landon and I? We hitched our wagons to the fastest moving train in wrestling. The World Champ, The Notorius One, and now yours truly.” “Whoo! It’s four-on-three in the war against the Trinity, Comet. What do you think of that?” “It’s--” “Oh, shut up, Comet.” “So bring on Alan Clark and his tree-hugging crap. Bring on Aecas and his brooding BS. Bring on the best the SWF has to offer. Because Todd only knows how strong the Unnamed are now!” Todd is booed once again as he finishes. Todd and Va’aiga nod to each other, as Landon takes the microphone and turning to his ‘other’ leader Va’aiga. “On behalf of Todd, Megan and myself…I just want to say how honoured we are to be running with the big boys. The very best. The SWF World Champion. And we know you guys run a tight ship. So, we’ll do our damndest not to let you down. You see Va’aiga, John, what you’re getting here is more than just two juniors and their valet.” “And a mighty fine one at that,” Riley adds. “Since when did you start liking women, Robert?” “I’m talking about Royal, now shush.” Maddix continues on past the announcers’ banter. “What you’re getting is an investment in the future. Mark our words…you want gold, then me and Todd can give you gold. We will fight for the cause of the Unnamed, and sooner or later we will return with the SWF Tag Team Championships…and present them to you on a silver platter…in the name…of the Unnamed.” “Punalicious right there, Robert.” Royal feels the need to add another comment. “And you have our word…that when the need arises, we’ll be there right beside you and we’ll have your backs. Not…not that you’ll need it of course.” “We take this very seriously, believe us. As Todd is my witness…we will fight this cause.” Maddix continues to talk, as the crowd are slowly becoming restless and start up a ‘Todd Sucks’ chant, as Todd takes offence…but can’t grab the microphone before Landon starts yelling. “This is the House of Todd…and when you’re in the House of Todd, you should show some Todd Damn respect…so sit your uneducated asses back down and show this man some respect!” The crowd boo even louder, prompting Maddix to go on. “You people disgust me. You have the audacity to boo a man like John Duran, a Todd like Todd Royal, a Toddess like Megan Skye…the SWF World Champion himself no less. You people really do have no taste. I mean…you cheer for losers like Alan Clark...” Sure enough, there are cheers, but Maddix once again ignores them. “Who at the Clusterfuck Todd Royal dumped out of the ring like the hippy piece of trash he is! You people cheer for an inbred hick like Coy West!” More cheers from the crowd. “You people cheer for the current SWF World Tag Team Champions…Wild and Dangerous.” Landon says the name of the Tag Champions with such distain that the crowd can’t help but boo him. “It’s ridiculous. Landon and I are the future of this company, the future of this business. And we get nothing but dis-respect. But…we don’t care. We could care less about you people. Whatever you unworthies think, this is the future that you’re looking at. Like it, loathe it, respect it or don’t…it just doesn’t matter! Champ…” Royal turns to Va'aiga, allowing him to carry on. “I count four members of the Unnamed. Where’s the fifth? Grappler? Get your ass out here.” The Ervin J. Nutter Center goes dark, and the crowd boos as the first riff of Metallica’s “Some Kind of Monster” hits. A single spotlight shines down onto the entranceway as James Matheson comes out and taunts the crowd that he can’t see! Finally, Grappler makes his entrance to wave and wave of jeers. Grappler and Matheson walk down together, and Grappler enters the ring with Matheson as the lights turn back on, and Duran is waiting with a microphone. “Grappler,” Duran addresses the Clusterfuck winner, “do you realize that you’re the ICTV Champion? Have you been paying attention during this time where you’ve been admittedly kicking ass? You’ve won the Clusterfuck, yes, but you don’t NEED to cause the turmoil, you don’t NEED to cause the hassle that cashing in that title shot would cause.” Matheson has his own microphone, and injects his comments. “It is my informed legal opinion that Mr. Duran is right.” However, Grappler grabs the mic from his manager and begins to SPEAK~! “I know that Va’aiga has the belt, and that Va’aiga is one tough bastard.” Va’aiga is smiling on the inside at this comment, but can’t smile on the outside since his cheekbone is healing. “I understand that the Unnamed works on the strength of many. But last night I beat NINETEEN men, nineteen mine who all earned the right to become SWF superstars. I pinned Terrence Bailey, the 7 foot psychopath, while Michael Craven, who is one tough SOB, looked on. We fought long and hard and...I hope I earned their respect.” At this point, Duran is beginning to lose what Grappler is trying to say. “As much as you don’t want to hear this, Va’aiga, I want to earn YOUR respect.” The crowd is somewhat confused until the Grappler continues. “So I will be cashing in my title shot at From The Fire, and if you’re up to the challenge, Va’aiga, you’ll not beat me once, or twice, or three times, but in TWO. STRAIGHT. FALLS.” “WHAT?” Riley blurts out as soon as Grappler finishes, and the crowd is already beginning to cheer Grappler as the Unnamed look on, all 5 of them fuming to the point where steam looks to be pouring out of their ears. Matheson walks in front of Grappler and talks to him. “WHAT?” Matheson repeats Riley’s sentiments. “You know something, Mr. Matthews, it’s my professional opinion that you’re CRAZY IN YOUR COCONUT. You’d throw away all that the Unnamed has earned for the sake of your own personal glory? You’d throw away the chance to sweep the belts for your...OUR stable? You’d ruin all the chances of sustained glory for your own little slice of the main event, is that it? Well, my legal advice is to inform you to WATCH YOUR ASS.” Grappler has a confused look on his face, and the crowd is silent. “As the legal representative of the Unnamed, I must inform you that...YOU ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRE FIRED!” The fans are in shock and have a mixed reaction for the removal of Grappler from the Unnamed. “You want a piece of me, Grappler?” Va’aiga challenges. “Come get some now. How well do you think you’ll do on your own, Grappler? See, you’ve left the security of the Unnamed. There’s for of us.” “There’s only ONE of you, Grappler.” Duran adds with a ear-to-ear smile. Royal adds, “Just one Todd Damn Grappler.” Duran snaps, however, still fuming. “I never liked you, Grappler. You were nothing to the Unnamed anyway. NOTHING. And I knew you’d do this to us one day. But I went along with it. I had your back and YOU! YOU TURNED YOUR BACK ON ME, AND YOU TURNED YOUR BACK ON THE MAORI BADASS! But we’ve had enough of that, Grappler. Right now, we’re going to make sure you can never turn your back on anyone again, that you can never do what you just did to us again. Tell me, Grappler. Who’s going to save you NOW?” Duran throws down the mic and all four members of the Unnamed advance on Grappler, who is backed up into a corner as Matheson and Megan Skye watch on, pleased. “This can’t be happening, Robert!” “It is! Grappler is finally going to get what’s coming to him.” LET FREEDOM RING WITH A SHOTGUN BLAST! All four members freeze in their tracks and back away slightly, the crowd jumping out of their seats and yelling and screaming. Duran and Va’aiga gaze at the entranceway, as Terrence Bailey and Dace Night make their entrance! The crowd can’t believe it, and Grappler is even glancing back in disbelief. Terrence 'Janus' Bailey stands with the Equalizer resting on his shoulder, taking no heed of the barbed wire cutting is skin. His face is cold, frighteningly so, as he stares directly at John Duran with a look that promises nothing but pain and death. And then he lifts the microphone. "John Duran." he speaks with a slow ominousness, lifting the Equalizer and pointing it. "If you want my title, you will suffer, and fail. When our match comes later this night, you will feel the bite of the Equalizer and the sting of defeat. And if it is necessary...you will meet with Hell itself. This, I promise." After this incredibly dark and foreboding line, the Anti-Heel Machine rests the Equalizer back on his shoulder and continues to glare at the ring. "A Trinity is three, not two. Before you get any bright ideas..." "Are you scared? He's here...." Dark Funeral's "Dead Skin Mask" roars out of the speakers, and the stage curtain is swept aside to reveal the foreboding form of the Black Angel! With the gothic beauty of Serena at his side, Aecas stops next to Terrence and Dace, and the three smile grimly at each other. Lifting his microphone again, Terrence speaks. "We lost Danny, which is truely unfortunate. But as you know, we had been striking up an alliance. And thus, to make the Trinity whole again, we welcome the Black Angel. For we are many..." The Black Angel does not speak, merely inclining his head with a smile on his face. Dead white eyes stare at the ring, and then at a motion from Dace, the Anti-Heel Machine hands the High Priest of Horrorcore the microphone... “Va’aiga! You’re still a backstabbing bastard, I see.” The crowd cheers Dace’s telling of what is mostly truth. “The slightest hint of Grappler doing what he wants to do to get ahead in this business, and you throw him out and start threatening to kick his ass?” Va’aiga can only nod as Dace continues. “You *BEEP*ing moron. You think we’re going to stand by and let you get away with this *BEEP*? No matter who it’s against? You have to be joking.” More cheers from the crowd, and a faint chant of “TRIN - AH - TEE”. “And if you think you can just run over the whole fed like you own it, you have another thing coming. I’m not the law, I’m not Mark Stevens, I’m not the owner, I’m not a hero. But I am a fighter and you are on the wrong side of the line. So you listen here you bastard,” the crowd is electrified by Dace’s every word, listening to Dace tell off the Maori. “I can see you smiling, but I wouldn’t be so happy if I where you. You retired Danny Williams. My mentor, my *BEEP*ing hero. There is no way I’m going to let you get away with that *BEEP* without beating you into a big blood pulp on the mat then pissing on it and running it over in my truck!” “You can say piss on TV?” Riley wonders. “It’s unjust nonetheless.” “Dace Night, Danny would have wanted to see you stand up for him. After all, you spent enough time kneeling down for him, didn’t you?” “OHHHHHHHHH”s from the crowd as The Maori slams Dace out of nowhere, but that only enrages the High Priest further. “What, just because I haven’t seen any rats your way since before we started working together? But if you want to rub salt in the wounds, you can take it with the blood on your hands. You beat Danny Williams in an All Japan match. You beat him at his own game. Can you beat me at MY own game? Have you got the balls for it, you bastard? Do you think you can taken on THE HIGH PRIEST OF HORRORCORE, Dace *BEEP*ING Night, in a… BARBED WIRE CELL TIMEBOMB DEATHMATCH!?” “What the fudge is that?” Comet questions, but the crowd is going nuts at the mere name of it. Va’aiga is pissed off at recent events, but keeps a stern face. “YOU GOT A MATCH. I’m gonna take great pleasure in making you retirement number four...”BOO-YAH!” “We’ve got a World Title Match on tap folks! Don’t know when it’s going down, but it’s sure to be a doozy!” Dace and Va’aiga stare at each other from either side of the arena, and Va’aiga mouths some words to Dace as we fade to black.

Allllllllright, I said I'd comment once the Clusterfuck itself went up, and that's what I'm going to do. I also said I'd read Va'aiga's match now, and I swear I'll do that too, but I may not post the comments in a followup. Anyway. First thing's first: Huzzah to Sacred for beating out Landon Maddix with a really good match. The atmosphere, something that's occasionally lackd from your matches, was really enveloping in this one, and I especially thought the references to Landon's history and the neck-psych were nice touches. Great commentary as well. The finish was alright, although I've never really been a fan of those 'I've beaten a guy this way, but I'm going to finish him off in humiliating fashion' endings, mainly because it's not particularly logical. And even if that was the way the match was built, I don't really think Sacred's the type of guy to do that to someone like Landon. It made a little less sense considering he ended up shaking his hand afterwards... but anyway, it didn't read like something you spent one night on, heh. Now. The CF. w00000000t @ SS, and a bit congratulations. I definitely felt your match was the strongest out of the two I sent in to King, and I was hoping you'd be able to pull it out. That's no offense to Janus, either, whom I actually thought put together stronger wrestling for the majority of his match. And if he wants, I can give him a full review later on. Anyway. I have to say that the pacing and organization of the match was about as good as it could've been, so there were no readability issues at all. That was an enormous mark in the match's favour, and I might guess the reason it ended up coming out on top overall. It wasn't without its faults, though... like I mentioned, I think some of the wrestling was bland, and there were too many cute asides in the prose and commentary banter. I also had to question the logic of some of the elimiantions... I think Thugg could've been handled a bit better, and I also have to question Mike going so long, as well as Craven getting both the Diesel push and the most eliminations(I think). The end of the triple-threat struck me as rather... cheap, too, but none of those truly took away from the overall quality of the match. A fine effort and deserving victory all around. -Z

Ejiro is a better man than most for agreeing to take that kind of job. -Z

Thaaaaaaaat's right. Keep the praise coming, guys. Ahem. In all seriousness, though, I too am little saddened to see the end of King's era, just because with the exception of a few... less glamorus moment... he is the best booker the SWF has ever had, and we never, ever would've been able to get past Clusterfuck 2003 if he hadn't agreed to lead the fed. Sayanora, man. -Z

By my count, I currently have 105,230 words to mark. ...help me... -Z