the.weej
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Posts posted by the.weej
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Actually, he has. He even won the Fresh Fish in 2012.
I guess you could say he Bob Hamelin'd it.
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Y'know, I do think we talked two or three times before I became head booker... you IMed me to ask what was up with the number of Blue Jays on the fantasy baseball team I picked for you last year.
You're one of the all-time classiest people to ever be involved in the fed, and that is a true bonus given how easy it is to find someone with a bad additude who's been involved in the SWF. You're also an example of everything a writer should be, selfless and commited, although I sometimes think your booking suffered from being inconsistent.
I have a lot of matches I'd consider favourites, but only two I'd name as most favourite. Edwin vs Raynor and Edwin vs Mark Stevens.
See ya' around.
-Z
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For Nigel:
Pure Stuff - 6
Pitching Velocity 4
Pitching Control - 6
Stamina - 4
Nigel's coming around, I hope. I think. I wish. I deem that only minor improvements are necessary.
-Z
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Ever since Stubby was removed, I think that's something that's been accounted for by whoever was booking, provided they payed a lick of attention. It's usually kept in mind what marker would be better suited to a certain matchtype or writing style, and what markers should not be marking a person's matches under any circumstances (ie: I made sure to never mark anything of Kibagami's, excluding his world title matches, which I was entitled to.)
There's always going to be some questionable calls, given that marking is an inexact science (point systems are highly fallible) and decisions essentially boil down to a judgement call. Excluding Blazenwing's idiotic whining, I can't remember the last person to claim tragedy has befallen them and rue the marker that made it so; and there were quite a few calls for marker's heads back in yonder days.
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Nigel's now 1-3 in his career when it comes to series ending games. That's nasty.
Someone should force Al to play. I find it interesting/amusing if he were to statistically break down his own player as well as other parts of the league.
-Z
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I'm already part of Thoth's Clan.
And let me tell you, we could really use the help.
I know Kaine wanted to join...
-Z
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Hey, fuck you. If this is Mike's work, then that's even MORE inexcusable.
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I deeply resent that you missed the oppertunity for a random tag match involving Jermaine O'Neal and Ron Artest. Come on!
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Though I have 'retired,' I remain on board the staff as Secretary of the Elite and I am the evil puppetmaster secretly pulling the strings of Mike as he masquerades as your 'leader' in his false, cloistered rule.
As always, Kibagami is still the Minister of War, Undersecretary of the Elite and Commissioner of the Secret Police. I believe King also remains as Secretary of the Inner Sanctum and High Admiral of Mike's fleet of bathtub toys. Janus is aide to the Secretary of the Elite, and Strangler has actually been promoted to Senior Vice President in Charge of Sanitation and General Floor Mopping Duties.
And what the shit is with Judge and Tom getting on Mike's CC? This is just making my personnel decisions look fabulous. Yeesh.
-Z
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*ahem*
That bra and panties match kicked ass!
-Z
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Whoa, wait a minute.
Toxxic, your record is 32-7? Holy snap.
-Z
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And what the hell. Oh, my, I haven't done this for a dog's age.
MAIN EVENT
WORLD TITLE BOUT
STREET FIGHT
Toxxic© vs Annie Eclectic
>>Annarama! Sorry Tox, but I have to back the lady; honestly, if Annie doesn't get it done now, she probably never will. Though it would be fucking weird to finally see Annie holding the belt...
HELL IN A CELL
"Grand Slam" Mark Stevens vs The Suicide King
>>Mark, because King has had a serious edge in this feud, unless they plan to end it with a gritty, heartwrenching finish (ala. Taylor/TBS), but I don't think that's the style of these two guys. Don't be surprised to see MOTN from the two old timer bastards.
SINGLES MATCH
Manson vs Nathaniel Kibagami
>>When you really think about this match, it makes you wonder how the world isn't sucked into a giant black hole of non-effort. But, nope, there it is. It's hard not to take Kibagami if you're measuring the skills of these two guys head-to-head.
TAG TEAM MATCH
Todd Cortez & ??? vs Sean Davis & ???
>>I know something youuuuuuuuu don't, I know something youuuuuuuuu don't...
ICTV TITLE BOUT
ROYAL BEATING MATCH
"The Icon" Max King© vs Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix
>>I'mma say King closes this up here, as Landon heads off for bigger and better things. As good as the effort both of these guys has put into this feud has been, we don't need another eight month, epic back-and-forth tilt ala Maddix vs Rando.
WOMEN'S TITLE
SINGLES MATCH
Megan Skye© vs Kelly Connelly
>>Whatever happens here, I'm honestly not expecting a match. Ebony, because I'm contractually obligated to pick her in situations like this.
SINGLES MATCH
Andrea Montgomery vs David Cross
>>I feel kinda' bad about making this throw-together, but I didn't want to leave either of these two off the card. I'll take 'Drea.
CRUSIERWEIGHT TITLE MATCH
"Hollywood" Spike Jenkins© vs Austin Sly
>>Jenkins' pulling it together has really surprised me. I like Austin, but he rarely shows the best effort; Holly to keep on his role.
HARDCORE TITLE MATCH
Carnage© vs Christian Fury
>>Even I don't know who Carnage is, but whoever he is, he's pretty good. In some ways, I'm kinda' disappointed that Fury ended up getting this shot, because I wanted him to defend the tag titles... oh well. Carnage.
-Z
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Here's the template, because I'm cool like that.
MAIN EVENT
WORLD TITLE BOUT
STREET FIGHT
Toxxic© vs Annie Eclectic
HELL IN A CELL
"Grand Slam" Mark Stevens vs The Suicide King
SINGLES MATCH
Manson vs Nathaniel Kibagami
TAG TEAM MATCH
Todd Cortez & ??? vs Sean Davis & ???
ICTV TITLE BOUT
ROYAL BEATING MATCH
"The Icon" Max King© vs Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix
WOMEN'S TITLE
SINGLES MATCH
Kelly Connelly© vs Megan Skye
SINGLES MATCH
Andrea Montgomery vs David Cross
CRUSIERWEIGHT TITLE MATCH
"Hollywood" Spike Jenkins© vs Austin Sly
HARDCORE TITLE MATCH
Carnage© vs Christian Fury
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Connelly/Skye has been edited in. Sorry, I did read all the promos on the last show, but I guess I skipped over that part. If I didn't have a PM about a match, I didn't book it.
Stryke, Kaine, my apoligies; I have an idea to make it up to you on Storm, if you'd like to me to suggest it to Mike.
-Z
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The Smartmark's Wrestling Federation Presents...
A PPV EXTRAVAGANZA!
SWF ASHES TO ASHES 2004, LIVE, SUNDAY NOVEMBER 7TH FROM THE *SOLD OUT* EVENING NEWS ARENA IN MANCHESTER, ENGLAND!
FEATURING MUSIC BY FAITH NO MORE, "ASHES TO ASHES"!
(7pm PCT, 10pm EST; check local listings)
A LOOK BACK: Ashes to Ashes 2003, Ashes to Ashes 2002, Ashes to Ashes 2000
Card:
MAIN EVENT
WORLD TITLE BOUT
STREET FIGHT
Toxxic© vs Annie Eclectic
Ann, Annie, Onita, Eclectic, Ichiban, "Number One", Beezel, Mr. B, the Smooth Criminal, the Hardcore Queen, the Angel, Lady Red, one half of "America's Sweethearts," XF9er, Magnificent Seven, Carnie, Clannie, Catch-22, "Blargledyargle," Ash's acquisition, Thoth's disciple, Molly, Sydney and Wilson's love interest, third female bumped, second female Carnie, first female ICTV champion. When one looks back on it, Annie's career is long and distinguished, full of crazy twists in turns as it is. The woman of 1000 names, stables, alignments and comebacks has, despite all odds, seemed better after every one of them, and has at very long last come to what may be the culmination of her career. The man who stands in her way is a phenom, and it doesn't even seem fair that the most obvious advandage she had going into this match has been erased with the location. However, Annie can't let crowd static get in the way of becoming the first female world champion in fed history, and coming to the summit of a three year climb. Annie Eclectic vs The Straight Edge Sensation. It's Time.
Rules: None, essentially.
Send To: Chuck Woolery
HELL IN A CELL
"Grand Slam" Mark Stevens vs The Suicide King
In what will truly be the end of an era, "Grand Slam" Mark Stevens, knees nearly done, has stepped up for one last swing of the bat. Against him -- he's always been against him -- is the man he's been competing with for longer than he can remember, and will never live long enough for forget, the Suicide King. However, for a man who has held all the aces, along with every other card in the deck for virtually his whole career, there is little advantage for him with quite possibly the biggest thing he's ever put on the line. There's no shifty conctract clauses or referee saboteurs, secret rule changes or convenient aliances waiting to be debuted. No matter the outcome, this will be Mark Stevens' final contractual act within the SWF. The wager is merely each man's pride, and both have gone all-in.
Rules: The cage is approximately 18ft. high and has a diamiter about five feet wider than the ring around all sides. When both men enter the cell, the door will be closed and locked, theoretically preventing escape. Pinfall and submission rules.
Send To: Chuck Woolery
SINGLES MATCH
Manson vs Nathaniel Kibagami
Nathaniel Kibagami has come back, and he has made no secret about where his attention has been focused. Unfortunately, nothing is going to be coming that easy -- but has it ever? Manson has been the everpresent understudy of the SWF, one of the oldest faces on the roster, but a man who has never recieved some well earned veterans respect. When Kibagami used one of his videos to put a scare into Toxxic, it was the straw that broke the camel's back, and Manson has retaliated the best way he knows how: But putting a fist into Kibagami's face! Before Kibagami can get to Toxxic, he must go through Manson; and while many men would write this off, Nathaniel, more than anyone else, is aware of what a desperate man can do...
Rules: Standard singles match
Send To: 5_moves_of_doom
TAG TEAM MATCH
Todd Cortez & ??? vs Sean Davis & ???
The ever so ambiguous ???-man interjects himself into this dispute and has made two profound arguments, for both sides, no less. Worth keeping in mind is the particularly interesting meeting Revolution 0 leader Toxxic had with 'a certain someone' in a coffeeshop before the last show, someone who seems almost certain to have interjected themselves somehow... Someone used to enigmas, and someone who should not be taken so lightly...
Rules: Standard tag team match. Remember the tag ropes!
Send To: chirs3
ICTV TITLE BOUT
ROYAL BEATING MATCH
"The Icon" Max King© vs Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix
Let's settle this. Maddix and Max have been at each others throats for months now, ever since King's surprising upset of Maddix many moons ago. Not known for letting little indiscressions go easily, as Alan Clark would attest, Maddix and King have let everything come to a boiling point and deigned that it come to a head at Ashes to Ashes! Of course, just facing off would be too easy -- a particularly disturbing stipulation, of King's own design, has been implimented for this match.
Rules: A cage of a special design, different from the one used for the HITC later tonight (no door, no roof) will be lowered onto the ring once both men have entered it. From there, things only get worse, as Max and Landon will be tied together at the wrist with a leather strap. Pinfall/submission rules take affect until a fall is scored, at which point the winner of the fall must touch all four turnbuckles. Consecuitively.
Send To: Thoth
WOMEN'S TITLE MATCH
SINGLES MATCH
Kelly Connelly© vs Megan Skye
Created as little more than a vanity belt, the SWF "Women's Title" is actually going to be contested on the PPV, and for the second time in two weeks, no less. Kelly Connelly and Megan Skye will face off right before their men fight in one of the most anticipated matchups of the night. The most fortunate aspect of this match? No eVil black ferret-weasels need apply.
Rules:Standard singles match.
Send To: Chuck Woolery
SINGLES MATCH
Andrea Montgomery vs David Cross
One half of the tag team champions takes on another person who's been in limbo for a little while, Andrea Montgomery. After failing twice to cash in on a shot at the SWF world title, Andrea has not seen much of anything consistently for the last couple of shows. Andrea has the skill, and many of the victories, but she simply doesn't seem to have the luck -- there was talk of her impromptu tag partner, the Birdman, returning from his haitus tonight to help her face Cross and Fury for the tag team titles, but Fury's win on Smarkdown scrapped that. Instaed, she takes on Fury's better half in the form of David Cross.
Rules: Standard singles match.
Send To:chirs3
CRUSIERWEIGHT TITLE MATCH
"Hollywood" Spike Jenkins© vs Austin Sly
Rematch, take deux! Spike Jenkins continues to befuddle all with his insofar impressive Crusierweight title run, and he takes on former champion Austin Sly for the belt on the big stage! Sly's really been bouncing around lately, unable to get purchase on anything in the fed, but few things can narrow minds like gold... for better or for worse.
Rules: Cruiser rules.
Send To: 5_moves_of_doom
HARDCORE TITLE MATCH
Carnage© vs Christian Fury
Rematch time! Ex-hardcore champion Chris Fury tries to win back his belt, as he and Carnage jerk the PPV curtain and try to get things kickstarted!
Rules: None!
Send To: Suicide King
(Decorum Notes: The entrance setting is a delapitaed church, complete with an alter and huge effing crucifix to the side of the walkway. Elaborate stained glass windows flank the gothic arch that wrestlers enter through, with a working organ opposite side the alter. There are broken pews and lit candelabras all over the place.)
(Z Note: A2A '01 is conspicuous in its absense because the IGNWF archive project only got about half-done before everyone got sick of it. If anyone wants to go to the effort of retrieving it, or giving me their Insider, I'll host it, 'cause that'd be kinda' nifty. My last card ever, unless I get called for fill-in duty sometime in the future. Write one for the Gipper!)
(Send all shit to Chuck Woolery)
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Not impressed with the result of that six-man, but I guess we'll never learn not to throw a bunch of no-showers together and hope that something good comes out of it. Not that I hold it against Manson, given what's supposed to go down at the PPV, but hey.
Otherwise, a perfectly acceptable pre-PPV build show. I would've liked to see more imput from more people, but I guess that's been the story of my tenure here. Let's kick it in gear for the PPV!
Card will be up momentarily.
-Z
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“Citizens, it’s time for our main event!” Comet shouts in delight as the live feed returns to the arena. “We’ve got a sellout crowd here, which is pretty amazing considering not even WE know where we are!”
“Indeed,” Riley agrees earnestly. “In fact, all SWF staff and all fans in attendance were blindfolded and turned round three times before we could drive here, which gives a whole new meaning to the phrase ‘dodging traffic’, let me tell you! All we know is that the secret location is either something to do with Halloween or the Presidential Elections, and possibly both...”
Before either man can say anything else, every light in the arena hits full and bathes everyone in white. The Smarktron whites out, and for a moment all that can be heard is the faint *scritch-scritch* of a needle on vinyl. Then the deep voice booms out:
‘WEL-WEL-W-W-WELCOME TO THE REVOLUTION!’
Immediately the crashing guitars of ‘Battle Ready’ by Otep kick up and ring out across the arena as the words flash up dark on the white screen. The drums rise up as the words change to read ‘REVOLUTION ZERO’, and-
*BOOOM!*
-lightning spears down to the soundstage, where it sends up an eruption of red and gold pyro!
“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
The atmosphere turns hostile in a heartbeat, but that doesn’t seem to worry the four figures that stride through the smoke left by the fireworks that have just gone off. The big, brooding figure of Sean Davis leads the way, followed by the smaller, suit-wearing and bespectacled Marcus Washington PA. The comes Jet, tossing her dreadlocks back and smiling seductively at anyone in the audience who catches her eye and, bringing up the rear, the familiar spiky-haired form of Toxxic.
“Ladies and gentlemen, the following tag team match is scheduled for one fall,” Funyon booms. “Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by Marcus Washington and Jet; at a combined weight of 488lbs, the team of ‘The Perfect Storm’ Sean Davis and the SWF WORLD... HEAVYWEIGHT... CHAMPION... the ‘Straight-Edge Sensation’ Toxxic - REVOLUTION... ZEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!”
“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”
“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”
Funyon retreats out of the ring as Revolution Zero hit it, with each member going to a different corner. Toxxic climbs to the second buckle and reaches his arms out, palms flat; Davis shows off his impressive physique and jaw-jacks with a couple of fans; Jet flashes a grin and plays with her hair, while Marcus simply looks out at the assembled crowd with an expression of disdain.
“In that ring you have such an unspeakable collection of egos and untrustworthiness-” Comet begins.
“-and talent,” Riley finishes. “Don’t forget the talent aspect of it, Comet.”
“And what is Citizen Washington’s talent?” Comet asks acidly. “Getting a felon off an assault charge and perverting the cause of JUSTICE~?”
“Never underestimate the power of a briefcase in the right place,” Riley responds obliquely.
"I GET WET WHEN A PARTY HAS STARTED!"
“YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
"I GET WET! WITHOUT EVEN TRYING!"
"I GET WET! I GET WET! I GET WET! I GET WET! I GET WET! I GET WET! I GET WET! I GET WET!"
*BOOOOOOOOOM*
White and blue pyrotechnics rush up from the top of the entrance ramp as "I Get Wet" by Andrew WK starts in earnest. The sparks break in the middle, but tonight Annie Onita isn’t alone - instead as the Hardcore Queen races down to the ring she is accompanied by the grey wifebeater-wearing figure of Todd Cortez, and as these two slide under the ropes into the ring it is Revolution Zero’s turn to vacate premises!
“And their opponents,” Funyon booms, “at a combined weight of 391lbs, the team of ‘The Urban Legend’ Todd Cortez and ANN... ‘ICHIBAN’... ONNNNNN-IIIIIIIIIIIIIIT-TAAAAAAAAA!!”
“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
Annie unslings her kendo sword from across her back and dares Toxxic to come back into the ring and face her. For his part the Straight-Edge Sensation seems willing to answer the challenge but is dissuaded by Marcus Washington’s quick words of advice and - perhaps more notably - the grip of Sean Davis on his left arm. Meanwhile Todd Cortez crosses his arms in the straight-edge ‘X’ sign and signals that he’s ready to get the match underway.
“Well Citizens, this match is bound to be very interesting,” Comet states. “In less than a week’s time, Ann Onita and Toxxic will meet for the World Heavyweight Title! However, there is bad blood between Todd Cortez and all of Revolution Zero as well, as it was Citizens Davis and Jenkins who defeated him and Mike Van Siclen to end their record-breaking run as Tag Team Champions, and Toxxic who retired Mike a few weeks back!”
“Yeah, but Cortez has been teamed with Annie,” Riley says in a bored voice. “His penis won’t last the night.”
Sean Davis climbs up to the apron and through the ropes, and with him and Todd Cortez looking to start the match Matthew Kivell calls for the bell.
*DING-DING-DING*
Davis beckons the smaller man to come in and get him, but Cortez hangs back for a second and throws up the ‘X’, then starts clapping his hands to get the fans pumped up. Annie adds her input by banging the top buckle (while Ebony watches enviously), and within moments the whole arena is ringing to the sounds of thousands of hands slapping together in unison.
“LET’S GO COR-TEZ!” *clap clap clap-clap-clap*
“LET’S GO COR-TEZ!” *clap clap clap-clap-clap*
Todd and Sean circle the ring, each looking for an opening. The Urban Legend is much quicker on his feet and darts in towards the lumbering behemoth, but shies away from Davis’ attempt to grab him and slams a kick into the Perfect Storm’s ribs before retreating. The shot seems to sting the bigger man but not much more and Davis presses forward, seeking to close the distance between himself and Cortez. However, his big arms grab nothing again as Todd dodges once more and slips behind the Perfect Storm, then as Davis turns Cortez lashes out with a boot to fire a superkick straight into Sean’s jaw!
*SMACK!*
“What a shot!” cries Comet.
“But Davis is still standing!” Riely replies, just as excited.
Indeed, although staggered by the kick Sean Davis is still on his feet; he wobbles backwards and hits the ring ropes where he leans for a second, shaking his head woozily. Todd isn’t going to give the big man time to recover though and he rushes in before taking Davis’ arm and attempting to Irish whip him across the ring. However, halfway through the manoeuvre Sean manages to reverse it and sends Todd into the far cables instead, then simply stands his ground and watches the cruiserweight ricochet off him as he rebounds!
“Heh, that’s like running into a brick wall,” Riley laughs as Cortez lands flat on his back. Most brick walls don’t respond to a collision by stamping on you however, but that’s just what Sean Davis does; repeatedly, to the point where Todd Cortez is forced to scramble under the ropes to get away! Matthew Kivell tries in vain to haul the Perfect Storm back as Davis reaches through the cables towards the retreating Urban Legend, then the referee is almost knocked to the ground as Sean raises his arms and shouts at the crowd.
“Who’s the man now, bitches!?”
“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
“DA-VIS SUCKS!”
“DA-VIS SUCKS!”
The Florida native turns to look at Toxxic, who just shrugs as if to say ‘well, at least you got them to stop chanting that at me’. Before Sean can improve his social standing any further though, he finds himself being tapped on the shoulder and turns around... straight into a palm strike from Todd Cortez, who re-entered the ring in the interim!
“OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh...........”
The crowd display their shock at the NERVE~ displayed by the man from The Streets (no, not the British sort-of-hip-hop act) and an expression of pure anger flashes across the face of Sean Davis, but the blistering right hook he swings in response meets nothing but fresh air as Todd Cortez ducks out of the way. Davis twists around again in an effort to catch his agile opponent, but Todd has already set himself and starts laying into Sean with more kicks to the ribs. Once, twice, three times the boots of the Urban Legend meet Davis’ ribs and knock the breath from the big man, then Todd sets himself to leap up for an enzuigiri... but before he can do so, Sean Davis manages to get the right hook to connect this time! Cortez staggers, caught off-guard by the Perfect Storm’s quick recovery, and this gives Sean Davis the moment he needs to spin the other way with his right arm extended and finish his rotation by levelling Cortez with a monstrous Uraken!
“Hah!” Riley gloats. “If you’re going to get into a striking contest with a man the size of Sean Davis, don’t just stand there and let him hit you!”
Cortez pushes himself up off the canvas, head swimming and not entirely sure where he is. This confusion quickly resolves itself; unfortunately, it’s resolved itself into the term ‘in big trouble’ as Davis has hoisted Cortez over his head in a Military Press! Davis proceeds to press the Urban Legend once... twice... three times... then drops him straight down to the canvas and hits the ropes, coming back to leap high into the air and drive an elbow down into Todd’s chest-
*BANG!*
-that isn’t there, as Cortez rolls aside at the last moment! The crowd clap and cheer when Todd manages to scramble up, and this time he is able to measure his opponent and leap into the air as Davis rises to his feet and sends his boot crashing into the back of the Perfect Storm’s skull with an enzuigiri!
*CRACK!*
Cortez lands on his front, wincing slightly as his ribs hit the canvas for the second time in twenty seconds. Davis has fallen forwards but caught himself before lading on his face, instead now on all fours and shaking his head again to clear the cobwebs. Todd decides that the best plan in these circumstances is to change the method of attack, quickly rolls to his corner and reaches out a hand to tag in the Hardcore Queen!
“YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
“ICH-I-BAN!”
“ICH-I-BAN!”
Annie steps through the ropes and doesn’t waste any time, immediately firing off snap kicks to the ribs and back of the grounded Sean Davis. The big man grunts in pain as the blows connect but starts to rise to his feet nonetheless - that is, until Annie takes the back of his head and jumps up to slam both knees into his face!
“ICH-I-BAN!”
“ICH-I-BAN!”
Sean drops back down to one knee, still not quite with it, and Annie turns away from him to hit the ropes before sprinting back, vaulting off Davis’ right leg and-
*CRACK!*
-delivering a vicious Shining Wizard to the Perfect Storm!
“YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
Davis topples backwards and Annie follows him down to the canvas, hooking the leg to make the pin...
ONE!
TW-
-but Sean kicks out with authority, and Annie actually flies through the air as Davis powers the 165lb Hardcore Queen off his chest! Annie doesn’t seem fazed by the relative lack of success of her pin though, as she quickly scrambles back up and waits for Davis to get to a vertical base before leaping into the air and planting a Dropkiss square on his jaw. The impact staggers the Perfect Storm back into a neutral corner, and Annie backs off a few steps before charging in, performing her trademark handspring and leaping into the air to drive her elbow into Sean Davis... but he simply catches her in midair and locks in a full nelson!
“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
“CONNNN-VICT!”
“CONNNN-VICT!”
Sean Davis’ eyes go wide as he hears the chant begin to start up from the Washington crowd, and with a roar of rage he hoists Annie up before dropping her down onto his knee with a full nelson atomic drop. The spine-jarring impact isn’t enough to satisfy the man from Florida though, and planting his feet firmly on the canvas he hoists Annie up and then drives her back-first into the mat with a full nelson slam! Toxxic applauds his partner’s quick-thinking but Sean doesn’t seem interested in following up with any form of wrestling move - instead the 270lber straddles Annie’s chest and begins to rain down right hands on the Hardcore Queen. Matthew Kivell steps in and begins to count as Toxxic and Marcus Washington both start shouting at Sean to stop before he’s disqualified.
‘ONE!’
‘TWO!’
‘THREE!’
‘FOUR!’
‘FI-’
A mere half-second before he would have lost his team the match Sean backs off and looks up at Toxxic, who is yelling at him to come over and make the tag. Reluctantly, and with anger still smouldering in his dark brown eyes, Davis climbs off the semi-unconscious Annie and strides over to the Rev-0 corner where he slaps hands with Toxxic.
“Citizens, this is the first time that Annie and Toxxic have ever been in a match together,” Comet tells the audience. “It’s just a shame it has to start like this...”
With Annie still prostrate on the canvas Toxxic leaps up to the top buckle from the apron and then somersaults forwards, dropping a leg across her throat with the Hangover!
*BANG!*
“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”
“TOXX-IC SUCKS!”
Toxxic shows much less concern for the crowd’s chants than his partner and simply grabs Annie’s hair to haul her upright as Matthew Kivell admonishes him futilely. The Straight-Edge Sensation places his opponent in a reverse headlock before dropping to one knee and driving the other into the back of Annie’s neck, then popping up to his full height again, taking a moment to flick a v-sign at Todd Cortez and finally bringing Annie down for a second and final time with a reverse DDT to complete the Detoxx. Todd Cortez seems on the verge of entering the ring and taking it directly to the World Champion, but apparently decides to keep his place and not let the Brit’s taunting guide his actions. Seeing that Todd isn’t rising to the bait Toxxic heads out to the apron once more, then jumps to the top rope...
...to the top buckle...
...and moonsaults back into the ring...
*BANG!*
...but only gets knees!
“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
“ICH-I-BAN!”
“ICH-I-BAN!”
The arena erupts in chants for the Hardcore Queen as Toxxic rolls off her clutching his ribs. Annie herself is holding her head, but she is aware enough to push herself up, position herself behind Toxxic and hook him up before bridging backwards with a Millenium suplex!
*WHAM!*
Ichiban brings the rookie down hard, but she still isn’t quite with it and rolls to her corner to tag in Todd Cortez, who is especially eager to get in and have some of the mocking World Champion.
“Yeah, that’s right bitch - run, run away!” Riley shouts as Annie tags out.
“This strategic withdrawal is only because Sean Davis did the original damage!” Comet argues back. “At Ashes 2 Ashes we’ll see how they face one-on-one!”
The Urban Legend steps through the ropes and hauls Toxxic up to his feet, but gets an unpleasant surprise as the Straight-Edge Sensation rears back and slams a headbutt into Cortez’ face! Todd staggers back and Toxxic presses forward, lashing out with a
RIGHT!
LEFT!
RIGHT!
LEFT!
...he steps back and flips another v-sign...
DISCUS CLOTHESLINE!
*BANG!*
...but Todd catches it and counters into an STO!
“YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
“UR-BAN LEG-END!” *clap clap clap-clap-clap*
“UR-BAN LEG-END!” *clap clap clap-clap-clap*
Toxxic has hardly registered that he’s down before he’s up again as Todd hoists him to his feet, then wraps his arm around his fellow straight-edger’s neck and drops to his knees to snap Toxxic’s spine with the Cereal Killer. The leader of Revolution Zero rolls across the ring and ends up beautifully placed for Todd to run for the ropes, spring backwards off the second one and come flying through the air with an inch-perfect quebrada...
*BANG!*
...but this time it’s Toxxic who gets his knees up! The air is driven from Cortez’ lungs as his ribs take another shot, and Toxxic pushes himself up to his feet with bad intentions written on his face. The World Champion is still suffering from the shots he’s taken, but he is enough quicker than the Urban Legend to be ready to boot Cortez in the gut and place him in a standing headscissors, then double-underhook his arms and bring him UP...
...AROUND...
...AND...
...DOWN!
*WHAM!*
“Toxxic Shock Syndrome!” Riley shouts in glee as Toxxic roles Cortez over onto his back. “Lights out, Todd!”
ONE!
TWO!!
*BAM!*
Every light hits full. Todd Cortez kicks out, but no-one in the arena notices. All eyes - the crowd’s, Toxxic’s, the referee’s - have swung to the entrance ramp where sparks are flying everywhere as pyros go off in a massive eruption of smoke and flame. And blaring over the PA system comes a familiar tune; not the gentle, lilting melody that Toxxic has heard over the past few weeks but the full-throated roar of Nevermore in full swing. This can mean only one thing.
The River Dragon Has Come.
“SIIIIIIIIIII-LENT…”
And through the smoke and flame…
“SIIIIIIIIIII-LENT…”
…with red vinyl trenchcoat billowing around him and steel-tipped cane in his hand…
“SIIIIIIIIIII-LENT…”
…long black hair tied back and eyes fixed on the ring…
“SIIIIIIIIIII-LENT…”
…comes Nathaniel Kibagami.
‘Todaaaaaaaaaaay the warning came in the floooooooooood…’
“HE’S HERE!” Comet yells in what might be shock and might be awe. “Nathaniel Kibagami has returned to the SWF for the first time since 13th Hour!”
“Oh crap,” is Riley’s only comment.
The Slaughterer strides down the entrance ramp, seemingly ignoring the rabid crowd on either side of him. His eyes are fixed on one man; Toxxic. For his part the Straight-Edge Sensation pushes himself up to his feet, face whiter than even his usual pale shade as he watches Kibagami bearing down on him; the man he thought he had retired; the man whom, despite all the evidence, he had still thought could not have come back.
Sean Davis moves first. The Perfect Storm drops down from the ring apron and charges at Kibagami... but the River Dragon simply takes his cane in two hands and slams it into Davis' gut, stopping the bigger man in his tracks, before-
*SWIIISSSSHHH-CRACK!*
-slamming it down on the back of Sean's head, dropping him to the mats. Seeing his longtime friend assaulted in this manner Marcus Washington leaps forward and swings his metal briefcase at Kibagami's head, but the former World Champion blocks the attack with his cane, then seizes Washington and hurls him into the guard rails.
*CRASH!*
*DING-DING-DING*
Matthew Kivell calls for the bell to signify a no-contest as Jet takes one look at the approaching River Dragon and backs off to the far side of the ring, leaving no-one between Kibagami and his prey. Todd Cortez has rolled away unnoticed by Toxxic, and has been dragged out of the ring by Annie. The two teammates watch in anticipation as Nathaniel Kibagami ascends to the ring apron, steps through the ropes and stops, dark eyes locking onto the steel grey ones of the Straight-Edge Sensation.
Just for a moment, you could hear a pin drop.
“SIIIIIIIIIII-LENT…”
“SIIIIIIIIIII-LENT…”
The chants start up again, as if with a life of their own, and Kibagami begins to move. He rests the cane against the turnbuckles, and slips the trenchcoat off before draping it over the top rope. The light glistens off the River Dragon's physique - whatever Kibagami has been doing since 13th Hour, he hasn't been stinting the gym work. With a small smile playing over his lips Nathaniel flexes his arms, making the flame tattoos dance for a second, then raises them into the familiar crucifix position...
“SIIIIIIIIIII-LENT…”
...and Toxxic has seen enough. With his face contorted into a snarl the SWF World Heavyweight Champion darts forward, seeking to remove this man from his life once more, to permanently take Nathaniel Kibagami out of the equation. But in his anger the rookie leaves himself open, and a man like Kibagami knows how to make the most of any opportunity.
*WHAM!*
“SIIIIIIIIIII-LENT…”
The Burning Lariat seems to come from nowhere and leaves Toxxic flat on his back, gasping for breath and seeing stars. Kibagami reaches down and wraps his fingers through Toxxic's hair, then lifts the World Champion up and fires off a kick.
*CRACK!*
“SIIIIIIIIIII-LENT…”
The blow strikes Toxxic in the ribs. He tries to twist away, but Kibagami still has hold of him.
*CRACK!*
“SIIIIIIIIIII-LENT…”
Another one, and as Nathan releases his grip the Straight-Edge Sensation doubles over in pain.
“SIIIIIIIIIII-LENT…”
Kibagami steps forward, places Toxxic in a standing headscissors... and underhooks both his arms.
"YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"He's got it hooked!" Comet shouts in amazement. "Nathaniel Kibagami is about to drop Toxxic with the Demonstar Driver!"
"NO!" Riley shouts. "Somebody do something!"
“SIIIIIIIIIII-LENT…”
Kibagami pauses for a moment to stare around at the crowd, his gaze lingering on Cortez, Annie and Jet outside the ring, then he braces himself and lifts-
*CRACK!*
"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
-and falls forward as a chair strikes him square in the back of the head!
"What in the name of Moses...?" Comet begins. Standing above the fallen River Dragon, face expressionless save for the burning anger in the eyes, stands the black-bearded figure... of Manson.
"MAN-SON SUCKS!"
"MAN-SON SUCKS!"
Toxxic has enough sense left to roll away from Kibagami and out through the ropes, where Jet fields him. In the ring, Manson pauses for a moment to look around and the crowd who are now verbally abusing him, raises the chair again and-
*CRACK!*
-brings it down hard on the back of Kibagami’s head. The River Dragon spasms from the blow, hands reaching up to try and protect himself, but Manson shows no remorse as he raises his weapon one more time... and is cut off by a veritable horde of referees and road agents, who suddenly flood the ring and surround the Denver native, pulling the chair from his hands and driving him back!
“Citizens, I cannot understand what has got into Citizen Manson!” Comet says in shock. “Such brutality... such anger...”
“-such absolute beautiful irony!” Riley finishes jubilantly. “Kibagami tries to jump Toxxic, and Manson jumps him in return! That’ll teach him to interrupt people’s matches! I tell you Comet, there are days I love this federation!”
*SMACK!*
“YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
Abruptly the commentators focus is drawn to ringside where Toxxic has been grinning at the sight of his nemesis blindsided from an unexpected quarter, but has now received a shot from a kendo stick to the head as Annie Onita gets in the mood for Ashes 2 Ashes early! Toxxic staggers sideways and down and Jet lunges for Onita, but Annie deftly sidesteps and trips the dreadlocked beauty into the arms of Todd Cortez. The former Tag Champion places Jet in a front facelock and shouts encouragement to Annie, who backs up a step, rears back with the kendo stick and-
*SMACK!*
“YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
-absolutely pastes it across Jet’s exposed backside as the girl from Philadelphia futilely tries to escape Todd’s grip! The crowd goes wild in appreciation for what could be viewed as girl-on-girl bondage action, but their enjoyment is short-lived as-
*CLANG!*
-Marcus Washington, now recovered from his unscheduled trip into the guard rail, brings Forceful Bureaucracy to bear on the back of Todd Cortez’s head! The straight-edger falls forward to the mat from the metal briefcase shot and Annie goes to teach the lawyer a lesson in manners, but suddenly finds herself unable to move as Sean Davis, his temper probably not improved by the two cane shots from Kibagami, grabs her from behind in a Full Nelson and pushes her down to the mat before sitting into the Avalanche!
“And now Revolution Zero turn this into a four-on-two mugging!” Comet shouts angrily.
“I know, it’s great isn’t it?” Riley says happily.
“Citizens, we’re out of time but make sure to tune into Ashes 2 Ashes when I have no doubt, JUSTICE~ will prevail on the evildoers!” Comet pimps.
Toxxic is back up, rubbing his head from Annie’s kendo stick shot, but the Straight-Edge Sensation has the World Title in his grasp and as the referees and road agents are still removing Manson and helping Nathaniel Kibagami, the last shot the viewers see is of Annie Onita trapped in the Avalanche as Toxxic waves the title belt in front of her face, then draws his arm back and nails her in the head with it...
FADE OUT
Copyright SWF 2004
‘Saving Pandas by typing faster’
-
Comet: Oh dear Lord...
Riley: He wouldn't... I mean... I know he hates him but...
Comet: Good God... alert the medics!
Riley: Raynor is going to try for a Demonstar Driver, the move that broke Raynor's and Edwin's necks, but this one will be from the top rope! That's inhuman!
Raynor starts to lift Edwin up, to turn him perpendicular to the mat... but Edwin fights back! Edwin gets his arms free! Raynor is punching down on Edwin's back while Edwin is struggling against the head-scissors... Edwin is free!! They are punching back and forth, trying to get the upper-hand!
Comet: How is Edwin doing this? Where does he get the strength?
Finally Edwin makes Raynor reel with a hard shot to the head! Raynor drops down, straddling the top turnbuckle! As the crowd cheers, Edwin pulls himself up to the top rope, pulling Raynor up with him and into a front facelock! Edwin steels himself, and with Z begging him to get down, he lifts Raynor up perpendicular to the mat and jumps!!
Riley: No!!
Comet: Air MacPhisto!! Air MacPhisto!!
Edwin twists Raynor in mid air and plants him on his shoulder and neck on the mat! Edwin is lying next to him, obviously exhausted. Raynor is almost out, but Edwin can't make the pin! Grand Slam and Landon are reaching for the tag, begging Edwin to bring them in!
Comet: Both men have given everything they have to this match, now both of them ned to get out of the ring
Riley: This is the pivot point of the match, Comet. Whoever gets the upper hand after this tag has a huge advantage in the match.
Both Edwin and Raynor are dragging themselves to their corners.. inch by inch... foot by foot... King and Grand Slam are reaching for the tag... the crowd is going abso-freakin'-lutely nuts! Edwin reaches... Raynor reaches...
Riley: Raynor tags!!
Comet: Citizen MacPhisto tags!!
Grand Slam storms into the ring, but King slowly steps through the ropes, blunting Stevens' charge. The two men stare each other down and the crowd fires up!
Riley: Here we go again... You know Comet, there are an awful lot of guys who really, really dislike each other in this match.
Comet: You aren't just whistling Dixie Mr. Riley! If there are two men in the SWF with as much history as these two men, I can't think of them!
Stevens puts his hands up for a test of strength. King looks at them dubiously but shrugs his shoulders and puts up his right hand, grabbing Mark's right. Grand Slam flexes the fingers on his left hand, waiting for King to grab it, but King starts to put his hand up, then...
::POINK::
Comet: Shot to the eye!
Riley: You know, after all this time, Stevens really should know better.
Grand Slam staggers back, both hands covering his eyes as King stands by and sadly shakes his head. King lays into Grand Slam with chop after chop, then grabs the arm and whips the Heavy Hitter into the ropes, bounce back, superkick! Grand Slam falls hard to the mat! King follows up with a series of hand stomps into the side and stomach of Stevens!
Riley: King is all over Grand Slam, Comet, just dominating him totally!
King pulls Grand Slam to his feet by the hair, whip into the ropes, bounce back, Heartbreaker Shotai!! Grand Slam falls back to the mat gasping for breath! King wastes no time climbing to the top rope and giving the "I love you" sign to the crowd, who proceeds to just boo him into oblivion! Judging the distance to the target, King leaps off the top rope and slams down onto Grand Slam, immediately hooking the leg...
Comet: The Superfly splash just buries Grand Slam!
One... Two... Thr.. NO!! Grand Slam gets his shoulder up just in time! King rolls off him and gets to his feet, waiting on Grand Slam like a cat ready to pounce! He steps behind the Heavy Hitter and grabs his left arm, and, pulling it across his chest, he hooks Grand Slam's right arm with a half-nelson...
Riley: It's over! He's going for the Joker's Wild!
But Grand Slam has been down this road before! Almost by instict, he swings around, reverses the half-nelson into a Full-Nelson, picks King up and plants him face first with a prime-time Grand Slam!! King hits the mat and stays there! Grand Slam collapses to his knees next to him, crawling slowly towards his corner where Landon Maddix is reaching for the tag!
Comet: Come on Mark! You're just inches away!
Riley: But that might as well be a mile for someone with the cardi... cradio... cardio-va... GET HIM KING!
Still Stevens crawls, as the outstretched hands of Maddix and MacPhisto await him...both stretching as far as the tag ropes will allow them. Meanwhile, behind Stevens, King is shaking off the effects and nearing the fallen frame of Grand Slam. His foot is about a foot away, ironically enough, from King's hand now, as Stevens grits his teeth and makes a final push...
...King suddenly dives forward though, lunging at Stevens' leg as if his life depended on it...
...KING GRABS THE LEG!
"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
The crowd's energy is sucked from them as King stops Stevens in his tracks. But only for a moment, as Stevens kicks his foot away and dives forward...
...TAGGING IN MADDIX!!!!
"YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
The crowd EXPLODES, as Maddix leaps into the ring and charges after the retreating King. Now it's King who's fighting to make the tag, but Maddix is quickly able to grab King by the tights and pull him back! The crowd is still going nuts, as are Flesher and Allison now, as Maddix pulls King up by the tights and spins him around into a STIFF forearm strike! King wobbles and almost goes down. But Maddix still has the tights and keeps King up, to waffle him with a second stiff forearm! And a third! A fourth! A fifth...Maddix is going crazy, nailing King with a flurry of forearms!
Riley: Oh NO...get in there guys!
As if on cue, finally Flesher has seen enough and enters the ring, so Maddix pushes King to the side and ducks an attempted clothesline by Flesher. Quickly Flesher wheels around, only to get dropped with a Dropsault that sends him flying back out of the ring and to the floor! With that dealt with, Maddix turns his attention back to King, who has retreated into a neutral corner to check that his jaw is still attached to the rest of his skull. As he does, Maddix suddenly breaks into a sprint. King doesn't see Maddix until it's too late and can't get out of the way of a running dropkick, which catches him FLUSH on the jaw and snaps his head back violently! Slumping forward, King falls flat on his face, as Maddix is suitably fired-up to charge at, and knock off the apron, Raynor with a dropkick!
Comet: Citizen Maddix has EXPLODED into life here Robert! I would say that The Suicide King would be eating his words right about now, but I'm not sure if he'll be eating anything solid after that dropkick!
Riley: This is a travesty! Z should be reprimanding Maddix for what he did to Raynor and Flesher!
Comet: I don't see why.
Stevens is down, Flesher is down, Raynor is down and King is...up, but with no idea as to where he is. Slowly he stumbles away from the corner as Maddix strides back over. From somewhere, King finds the energy and presence of mind to shoot off a Heartbreaker shotei, but Maddix is alert and counters it with an arm-drag! Not one to give up, King rolls through and looks for another Heartbreaker...but gets another arm-drag, sending him flying across the ring. Up rolls King again, but this time before he can even contemplate throwing another shotei at anyone, Maddix charges at the evil King and nails him with a flying forearm! This time King stays down, so Maddix drops on top of his hated rival and makes a cover...
ONE!
TWO!
KICKOUT!
Z reaches two before King kicks out, but it's almost as if Maddix is prepared for the kickout as he lands on his feet with cat-like agility. Grabbing King under the head, Maddix wastes little time in picking The King Of Hearts up from the mat and pushing him into the ropes. King is dazed and puts up a boxing-like guard, more out of desperation than anything, but Maddix goes straight to the breadbasket with a knee. Down goes the guard, and Landon capitalizes with another big-time forearm smash!
Comet: King is being out-wrestled here by Maddix, dare I say it?
Riley: That's a lie! Take that back! C'mon King!!
As King slumps back into the ropes, Maddix stops for a moment and grins at King...
...BEFORE SLAPPING THE TASTE OUT OF HIS MOUTH!
"OOOOOOOOOOOHHH!!"
All that succeeds in doing is pissing King off though, as he growls at Maddix to bring it on. Which he does, with another stiff forearm! Finally Maddix backs away, with more than a little encouragement to do so from a certain special referee, as King stumbles away from the ropes and looks to take Landon's head off with a big right hand. Maddix ducks though, catching King under the chin and quickly popping him over with an EXPLODAAAAAAAAAAHHH~! Suplex! The crowd erupts again, as King hits the mat. But Maddix is no puro god and his execution isn't spotless, proven by the fact that King manages to get back up quickly after his landing. Landon runs over to him straight away, grabbing King by the wrist and irish whipping him back across the ring. King reaches the ropes and grabs the top strand to stop himself...and is promptly pulled from the ring by Flesher, much to the crowd's displeasure.
Comet: And Flesher, helping out his tag partner! Boy, does King need some help right about now!
Riley: Quit worrying Comet, this is just a brief flurry. Nothing more.
Flesher checks to see if King is okay, helping him back to his feet and attending to the SWF part-owner's jaw. But while he does so, Landon Maddix has suddenly broken into a sprint in the ring. Hitting the opposite ropes, Maddix charges towards Flesher and King who are both totally oblivious to his current position and don't see Maddix leaping to the top rope in one single bound, before launching off the top...
...and wiping out BOTH Flesher AND King with a Spaceman Plancha!!!
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
Comet: Sweet Methuselah's ghost...Spaceman Planchaaaaa!!!
Riley: ...
The crowd in the Rose Bowl are on their feet, cheering wildly as Maddix lays atop the fallen bodies of King and Flesher. He is holding his ribs, but unable to wipe a smile from his face. Meanwhile in the ring, Edwin MacPhisto has stepped through the ropes and is walking into the center of the ring...as is Chris Raynor, both men's eyes locked on the other's.
Comet: And now, the two draft-in partners...the sworn enemies go toe to toe once more. And would you LISTEN to this crowd!?!
Indeed, every single fan is on their feet as slowly Edwin and Raynor start to stride towards each other, with referee Z wisely standing a safe distance away and allowing the two rivals go at it as they wish. Which they promptly do, with both men connecting simultaneously with a right hand. Both stagger backwards, but both come straight back with Edwin beating Raynor to the punch this time. Raynor manages to throw one back though, only for Edwin to retaliate straight afterwards. So Raynor breaks the pattern and goes to the gut with a knee, before stepping behind Edwin ready for the release german suplex.
No! Edwin counters with a couple of back elbows, before ducking and weaving behind Raynor and hitting him with a hard snap kick to the kidneys. Raynor takes another kick, before Edwin goes to the waistlock and looks for a german suplex of his own. But Raynor is able to counter in a likewise manner, with a quick back elbow before irish whipping Edwin across the ring. Back shoots MacPhisto, as Raynor goes for a big boot...which Edwin ducks, quickly getting back to his feet and attempting to pull Raynor down low enough to apply the dragon sleeper. Raynor is wise to it though, turning into Edwin's body and charging him into the corner! Out staggers Edwin, as Raynor looks for a clothesline. But the counters continue as Edwin ducks, causing Raynor to careen forward and crash chest first into the top turnbuckle, which drives the wind right out of him!
Comet: These two men know each other so well, and are showing great ring knowledge here, considering both have been out of action for a long period of time.
Out staggers Raynor, into MacPhisto's waiting boot and an irish whip. Raynor flies towards the ropes, but at the last second Landon Maddix emerges on the apron and has the presence of mind to pull down the top rope, causing Raynor to topple over the ropes and crash into Flesher and King who had just gotten to their feet. The three of them fall to the concrete floor and set about dragging themselves back up, as Maddix extends his hand to Edwin...pointing a finger towards him, before pointing one out at Team Heel, regrouping on the floor.
Comet: No...he wouldn't.
Riley: Of course he wouldn't! Senior citizens don't fly...they take the bus!
It seems Edwin is on the same wavelength as Maddix, as he looks out to the crowd for encouragement. And to display his pelvic thrust. Oh yeah. Flesher, King and Raynor are pretty much up by now and it's decision time for Edwin.
Who chooses option A.
And charges across the ring...
Riley: No!
Comet: Oh yes...
Riley: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
TOPÉ SUICIDAAAAAAAAAA BY EDWIN!!!
"HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!"
Comet: EDDIE MAC! EDDIE MAC WITH THE TOPÉ SUICIDA!!!
"MAC - PHIS - TOOOO!"
"MAC - PHIS - TOOOO!"
"MAC - PHIS - TOOOO!"
The crowd is going CRAZY, as Edwin, Flesher and Raynor lay in a crumpled heap of human flesh on the floor. King meanwhile is staggering around ringside, having somehow gotten out of the way of the flying MacPhisto just in the nick of time. And now, King is trying to figure out where he is as he staggers aimlessly down the aisle and towards the huge "GENESIS" sign at the top of the entrance-way.
Which is never a good thing.
Comet: Wait a minute...King's trying to get the hell out of here!
Riley: Hey, he's a busy man Comet. You don't realize how much paperwork an SWF co-owner gets nowadays.
Seeing King staggering off, and realizing that he is the legal man, Landon Maddix hops off the apron...grimacing slightly as the adrenaline has worn off and now his ribs are hurting once more. But he has King in his sights, and ignores the pain as he strides down the aisle in hot pursuit of King, who, it seems, knows exactly where he is going.
Comet: Well, either King is running scared or he's laying a trap for Landon Maddix. Either way, I don't like this.
Much the faster, Maddix soon catches up to King...but takes a thumb to the eye, before getting whipped around and thrown into the steel barricade! Maddix bounces off the barricades like a rubber ball, holding his ribs tightly, as King grabs him in a side headlock and starts to bring him back towards the ring, grinning like a cheshire cat. But he isn't grinning for long however, as Maddix places a hand on King's back and pushes him off, sending HIM into the steel barricade!
Back at ringside, MacPhisto and Raynor are brawling around the ring exchanging hard punches, kicks and shoteis...whatever they can hit, they are hitting.
Meanwhile, back down the aisle, Maddix and King are both staggering towards ringside...with Maddix on the offensive, rocking King with some more forearms. In hope of a reprieve, King starts to pick up the pace and looks to get away from Maddix by rolling back into the ring. Maddix is right behind him however, feeling particularly froggy at the moment and in no mood to back down from a fight with anyone, even a respected veteran like The Suicide King. Especially considering this respected veteran has retreated into a neutral corner, sticking his head through the ropes in hopes of a time-out. Which he promptly gets, as Z steps in between Maddix and King and pushes the young ICTV Champion back. However Maddix is nothing if not determined and shrugs past Z, who thinks about going after Maddix...but he is stopped by Tom Flesher climbing back onto the apron, and quickly goes after him to make sure he doesn't enter the ring. As he does, Maddix pulls the Suicide King out of the corner and nails him with a forearm strike again, before brushing past King and hopping to the middle rope, ready for the Crash Landon. Only, King isn't as hurt as he's making out...
...AND CONNECTS WITH A BRASS KNUX SHOT!!!
"OOOOHH - BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
Despite the jeers of the incensed fans in the Rose Bowl, Z has no idea as to what as just happened because he's still trying to keep Flesher out of the ring. Quickly King removes his brass knuckles and passes them out to Allison Onita, who is handily placed and she quickly pockets them.
Comet: You just knew something like this would happen! King with the brass knuckles on Maddix, and I'm disgusted.
Maddix is down and out cold, as King crawls over towards him and...after giving a little wink towards Flesher, who promptly nods and finally strolls across the apron away from Zenon, makes a cover. Z turns around with a sigh and an angry look at Flesher, to see King laying on top of Maddix, arms already out-stretched to count along with Zenon's count...
ONE!
TWOOOOO!
Comet: Kickout, kickout!
THR...
STEVENS PULLS KING OFF THE COVER!
"YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
Comet: The Heavy Hitter makes the save!
Riley: You can't call that fair, Comet.
Comet: After King used brass knuckles? I can call it whatever the hell I want!
Zenon reprimands Stevens and forces the exhausted Heavy Hitter out of the ring. King meanwhile looks pissed, glaring down at Stevens before turning to Z and hurling a torrent of rather vulgar abuse his way. Nearby, Raynor and Edwin pass, still exchanging right hands as they do so. But King is more concerned with Stevens...so he quickly shuffles over and tags Flesher into the match, before sliding out of the ring. Stevens is stumbling over to where the fight is going on on the outside and looking to help out his fellow Carnie, but gets taken down by King! Now a four man brawl has started on the floor between the veterans of the match...
...while back in the ring, Flesher has swaggered into the ring and is standing over Landon Maddix. Maddix is still down and out from the brass knuckles shot, so Flesher kneels down beside the ICTV Champion and makes a lateral press...
ONE!
TWO!
KICKOUT!
Riley: Damn it! Who the hell appointed slow-motion Zenon as referee for crying out loud?
Comet: Uhm...Zenon?
Riley: ...that bastard!
Grabbing a hold of Maddix by the hair, Flesher pulls the ICTV Champion up from the mat and quickly locks on a waistlock from the front, popping back and taking Maddix over with a railgun suplex! Maddix hits the mat, and hard, as Flesher remains in a seated position and starts to golf-clap his own efforts, which is replicated by Allison from the outside.
Still, the fight continues on the floor...
...as Flesher turns towards Maddix, looking down on him with near destain. Maddix is favoring his rib area once more and is busy trying to rub the pain out of his back, with little success. Over walks Flesher, giving Maddix a bitchslap once there, before pulling his opponent up with a front headlock applied. Knowing that he's in serious trouble, Maddix starts to frantically reach for the ropes in some attempt to get free from The Superior One's grip. But this is Tom Flesher. The Tom Flesher. And you don't escape from a Flesher front headlock if you're inexperienced in the realms of technical wrestling, which counts in Landon Maddix. Unable to reach the ropes, Maddix drops to his ass in an attempt to free himself. But all he suceeds in doing is putting himself down for some worse discomfort, as Flesher steps a foot to either side of Maddix and sits back, trapping Maddix in some 'Wet Cement'!
Riley: YES! Game over!
Maddix is trapped now...hence the name...and the crowd starts booing as they realize this could be match over. Tom pulls back as Z asks Landon if he wants to submit, but Landon bellows a loud NO!! Finally, unable to take it any longer, Stevens disengages himself from the brawl and slides into the ring, winds up and drives his knee into the side of Flesher's head causing the Superior One to let go of the submission hold! Grand Slam is obviously beyond reason as he grabs Tom by his singlet and launches him out of the ring, then follows him out under the bottom rope!
Comet: This match has just broken down! Z has totally lost control here!
Riley: Are you suprised? The man isn't a referee!
Landon slowly gets to his feet, shaking his head, trying to work the stiffness out. But behind him, the Suicide King rolls into the ring, charges up behind Landon,. hooks his arm and sweeps the leg...
::WHAM!!::
Riley: Joker's Wild!! King just nailed Landon with the Joker's Wild!!
King gets to his feet, gesturing and yelling at Maddix, obvioulsy satisfied that he was finally able to destroy the impertinent youngster. Then there is a tap on his shoulder...
King spins around, ready to scream his lungs out at Z...
But Z isn't there... Grand Slam is.
Toe kick! Stevens pulls King into a standing headscissors, hooks the arms, jumps back...
::WHAM!!::
Comet: WALK-OFF!! WALK-OFF!!
Grand Slam rolls King out of the ring and stands slowly, obviously exhausted... only to be met by Raynor! He kicks Grand Slam right in the gut, pulls him into a front facelock, then picks him up for a vertical suplex, lifts him straight up and hold him... Then pushes him out forward, as if turning it into a powerbomb, but at the same time he kneels down and drives the Heavy Hitter head-and-neck-first down onto his knee!!
Riley: Acid Rayne! Raynor just nailed Grand Slam with the Acid Rayne Version 3!
Raynor starts delivering stomps to Grand Slam's stomach, but is stopped by two arms hooking underneath his and lifting him up... then slamming him down hard!!
Comet: ENCORE CROSS!! I don't believe this Robert!
Edwin drops to one knee and slowly rolls Raynor out of the ring, then tries to follow him, but someone catches him by the hair and pulls him back into the ring... grabs him from behind... lifts him up...
Riley: Now Tom Flesher gets in on the act with a huge Ego Buster, and let me tell you Edwin MacPhisto has a huge ego to bust!
Edwin hits the mat hard and rolls out of the ring... but, long forgotten in the rush of Finishers, Landon pushes himself off the mat and runs at the ropes! he jumps, plants both feet on the middle rope and vaults out, catching a standing Tom Flesher on the way down, twisting, swinging and driving Tom down hard!!
Comet: CRASH LANDON!! CRASH LANDON!!
Riley NO!!
Landon, fully aware of who the legal men are, hooks the leg...
ONE...
TWO...
THREE!!!
Comet: It's over!! Landon Maddix has pinned Tom Flesher to give the Carnies plus one the win here at Genesis V!!
Riley: I can't believe it! How did this happen, Comet? I feel so... so... used.
Officials flood ringside, separating Team Heel from Team Face. Grand Slam, Edwin and Landon start up the ramp, clapping each other on the back and getting their hands raised by Z, while King and Raynor stand beside the ring, looking at Flesher in the center of the ring.
Riley: They were so close so many times... I can't believe they couldn't put it away!
Comet: But they did, Robert! Truth and Justice triumph again! But it isn't over yet, fans... up next we have the main event pitting the number one contender Toxxic against the World Champion Johnny Dangerous!
The camera lingers on Grand Slam for a moment as he drops to his knees raising one hand in the air, holding one finger up...
-
We return from commercial break once more, and we see what has come to be a very familiar sight to diehard SWF fans over the past few weeks. The diabolical structure sits silently, bearing silent witness to the atrocities it has contained in the past. And in each corner of the screen stand two unsmiling figures, each's face promising a settling of accounts unseen since the Old Testament.
Comet's voice sounds out. "We are one week removed from Ashes 2 Ashes! On that fateful Sunday, the Suicide King and 'Grand Slam' Mark Stevens will face each other one more time in a match so barbaric and brutal that is has been dubbed Hell in a Cell! It will certainly be Stevens' last match, and his last opportunity to try to rein in the ambition of his one-time student and friend, the Suicide King."
Riley picks up the narrative thread. "When last we left off in this retrospective, Stevens had just done the impossible up to that point. He had beaten King in the middle of the ring and taken the SWF World Title away from him. King's ego was so bruised by this defeat that he immediately retired from active competition for reasons that to this day remain unknown. It seemed that Mark, and I suppose by extension the eternal frat party known as the Midnight Carnival, had finally defeated their greatest adversary."
"And indeed a golden age descended on the federation as we were witness to Carnival luminaries such as Edwin MacPhisto come into their own. Everything was going fine for several months until the Carnival ran afoul of then Commissioner McWeed. Irritated to no end by their antics, McWeed tried everything to silence them to no avail. Unable to deal with the Carnies like this, he turned to a man who had a track record of Carny-stomping... and thus it was that the Suicide King returned to the federation. In payment for his services though King had arranged to become deputy commissioner. That's right... King had POWER now." Riley sighs to himself in remembrace of the good ol' days.
"And King's first act was to use an unfortunate contractual loophole to force his former friends into a most unfortunate situation." Comet notes, disgust still evident after all this time. "King signed Stevens and MacPhisto to a match, in which the person who failed to win would be forced to leave the federation. And in order to personally administer his revenge, King assigned himself as referee. The match was epic, and in the end Stevens fells just short to the surging MacPhisto. Mark Stevens' career was over, cut short by an evil mind."
"That was only the beginning though. Some months later Commissioner McWeed was deposed in suspicious circumstances. Many suspected King, and their suspicions were reinforced when the office of Commissioner fell to King. King now had all the power, and the will to forge the SWF into what he wanted it to be. For a long time King reigned unchecked, and those he favored dominated the title scene. The Suicide King consolidated power, and used his funds to buy 25% interest in the SWF in preparation for the day someone would challenge him again."
"And that day came, at Genesis 4. In the days preceding the show, twin specters from the past reemerged, each having taken the opportunity to use their own funds to buy interest in order to challenge King. The Hville Thugg and Mark Stevens formed an uneasy alliance that eventually fractured, but they were still able to force King into a match at Genesis with the Commissionership on the line. Each man sponsored a proxie to wrestle for them, and the sponsor of the winner would rule over the fed completely. Dace Night represented Stevens, Thugg sponsored Bastion, and King chose Michael Craven. The match was tremendous in scope and in the end Dace Night was victorious, thus ending King's reign and setting up Mark Stevens as the new Commissioner! Once again Stevens had upset King's plan... but King still had enough interest to be a problem."
"Stevens did an admirable job as Commissioner for many months, but eventually took time off to deal with family matters. To insure no 'Kingly' problems while he was gone, he appointed Alexander Zenon as interim commissioner. Zenon too did an admirable job with the notable exception of his treatment of the 'Silent' situation. When Stevens did try to come back, Zenon was so petrified that Mark would censure him for his handling of the fed, he made a deal with the devil. And on the night of Stevens' return who should step out from behind the curtain but King?"
"King finally had Stevens' right where he wanted him. With Zenon's unwilling and all-too-temporary aid, he was able to reactivate the overweight and out-of-shape Stevens to an active contract. Stevens was forced to compete against the cream of the SWF crop, and he was pummeled senselessly night in and night out. A regretful Zenon tried to help where he could, but King had him by the proverbial short hairs. Risking his job, Zenon made a match at Genesis 5 that would hopefully let Mark get his hands on King and end this destructive rivalry once and for all. More twists and turns abounded though, as the one on one match became a tag match, and then a handicap match, and then a six man! Landon Maddix joined Stevens to pay King back for his interference in his career. In response, King called upon the most dominant competitory in SWF history, Tom Flesher! And just to hedge his bets, he also activated one other man, his former friend Chris Raynor. And in response to that, Team Stevens got a very unexpected boost provided by the returning Edwin MacPhisto!"
"And that is where we find ourselves tonight, faithful fans! The epic six man tag that was the fourth in-ring encounter between King and Stevens! A Genesis 5 new classic! Six truly great competitors in a match that has already changed the shape of the federation. And here tonight on free TV!"
And fade...
------------------------------------------------
The camera takes a slow tour of the Rose Bowl. The air is a little hazy now as the sun has gone down and the sliver of a moon hangs ominously in the air just over the top of the stadium, as if waiting for something momentous to happen...
Now it fades slowly into a view of the stage setup for Genesis V, The lights are slowly working the anxious crowd, all of whom know that there are only two matches left and are very aware of what will be the penultimate match of the biggest Pay-Per-View of the SWF year.
The arena goes dark... thousands of flash bulbs begin to pop, then...
ALL ABOARD!! AH HAH HAH HAH!!
The stage suddenly explodes as a wall of crimson pyro shoots skyward, deafening and blinding those closest. When the pyro finishes the wailing guitar chords of Ozzy Ozborne's "Crazy Train" pick up in volume and the Suicide King is revealed, posing cockily as the crowd pours its derision on him (save for the few sparse cheers from desperate women). Smirking in disdain he makes his way down to the ring, strutting like he is the single greatest thing since sliced bread.
Funyon: Ladies and Gentlemen, this is a six man tag match and it is scheduled for ONE FALL!! Introducing first, weighing in at two hundred and twenty six pounds and hailing from Dayton, Ohio... he is the Gambling Man, the Heartbreaker... he is the SUICIDE KING!!!!
Making his way to ringside, he jumps up to stand on the ring apron and moves provocatively between the ropes. Once inside the ring the Suicide King circles the ropes, making sure that everyone in attendance gets a good, long look at the most talented, entertaining, and handsome man in wrestling today. The men swear, the women squeal, and the SWF collects another fortune in merchandising... the Suicide King casually brushes the hair out of his eyes and turns back to gaze at the stage, waiting for his allies.
Comet: Welcome back Citizens young and old! It's time for a grudge match that has drawn in some of the biggest names, past or present, ever to compete to in an SWF ring!
Riley: Comet, I've dreamed of a night like this ever since I was a boy! Suicide King, Chris Raynor and Tom Flesher together in a ring? My God... it's enough to make you cry...
As Comet sadly shakes his head, the sound system kicks up "Kashmir" by Led Zeppelin. The crowd turns its hatred from the man in the ring to the man on the stage as "The Superior One" Tom Flesher struts out from behind the curtain, Allison Onita right behind him, looking stunning as always in a blue sequined blouse and short black skirt. Soaking in the jeers of the massive crowd, Tom and Allison begin the long walk down the ramp.
Funyon: And his partner, hailing from Buffalo, New York and weighing in at two hundred and thirty one pounds, being accompanied to the ring by Allison Onita... he is The Superior One... TOM FLESHER!!
As they reach the ring, Allison crawls seductively up to the apron, then sits on the second rope, clearing the way for her man, the ever-confident Tom Flesher. He follows her up, then slides in between the ropes. With a disdainful look out at the crowd, letting them know that he hears everything but just doesn't care, he walks over to shake hands with his training partner for the better part of a year, the Suicide King. Allison steps into the ring herself then, drawing catcalls from several front row patrons. King, ever a picture of the debonair playboy, raises her hand to his lips and lightly kisses her knuckles, drawing a few more boos from the crowd.
Riley: There they are Comet! Those two men are the epitome of what a man should be, classy, powerful, handsome...
Comet: Underhanded, conniving, evil...
Riley: You're always looking for the negative in everyone aren't you Mr. Superhero?
The lights go out...
The stage lights flicker white for a strobing effect, as "The Grudge" by Tool pounds out through the sound system. Chris Raynor does not spend much time dilly-dallying on the stage. He steps out from behind the curtain and starts walking to the ring.
Funyon: And their partner, hailing from Baton Rouge, Louisiana and weighing in at two hundred and forty pounds, CHRIS RAYNOR!!
The Rayn man never looks away from the ring as he walks down the ramp. The crowd just unloads on him, never able to forget his betrayal of the Midnight Carnival. Nor will he let them forget as he wears a brand new shirt to the ring tonight with a flashy "Carnevil" logo on the front, and profiles of himself and the Suicide King, looking quite mad, adorn the back. He sees the camera focus in on his shirt out of the corner of eye, putting the profiles on the several giant screens around the stadium, and he smiles, an ironic, twisted cold little thing that barely breaks over his face.
Comet: I have to believe that Chris Raynor isn't here tonight to humiliate Mark Stevens. He isn't here tonight to help King, and certainly isn't here because of Landon Maddix. He's here because he was hoping, praying maybe, that he could settle things with Edwin MacPhisto, nearly two years to the day after their epic confrontation at Genesis III!
Riley: Of course that's why he's here. I know he spent every day in rehab dreaming about an opportunity like this. When King called him a couple of weeks ago, he had to know that his time has arrived.
Raynor rolls into the ring and to his feet. King, Tom and Allison move to meet him, but there is not the gregarious outpouring of affection from Chris that we saw just moments ago between Tom and King. He simply nods his head and says something far too low for the mics to pick up.
Comet: It appears to my super-human senses that the three men in that ring are not necessarily on the same page Robert.
Riley: Do they need to be? I have no idea what Zenon was thinking, putting this match this far up on the card. In my estimation... there's no way this goes longer than ten minutes, max.
The lights dim, and the crowd sounds change from boos and jeers to claps and cheers. They know now that "Team Heel" is in the ring; the next entrance has to be somebody worth cheering for...
"PREPARE...FOR...LANDON!"
And the crowd goes wild.
...WAAAAAHHHHH...
*DUM DUM*
The post-riff part of "Megalomaniac" by Incubus hits, as from behind the curtain steps Landon Maddix, stopping at the top of the ramp and thrusting his hands out to his side as the lights return back to normal. Landon turns back to the curtains...as Megan follows out from the back. They then walk down the ramp, with Landon leading the way, jaw jacking with fans on the way down the ramp as he goes.
Funyon: And their opponents... Introducing first, being accompanied to the ring by Megan Skye... he hails from Huron, South Dakota and weighs in at two hundred and eighteen pounds... he is YOUR Smartmarks Wrestling Federation Intercontinental-Television Champion... LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MADDIX!!
Landon leaps to the apron, before running across the apron and leaping up to the middle turnbuckle. Looking out at the crowd, Landon grins and holds his arms out to the sides before leaping over the top and entering the ring. The ref is standing in the middle of the ring, arms out to either side, keeping the heels at bay on the opposite side of the ring from Maddix. Landon steps close behind the ref and says something, emphasizing it with a pointed finger at the Suicide King.
Comet: Citizen Maddix is the wild card in this match Robert... drawn into this after being held down by the evil Suicide King.
Riley: Please... Maddix is only here because King wanted him here. If there was any chance of him making a difference in this match, King would never have allowed him to be in it!
Landon waits in the corner, a huge smile on his face as he looks out at the sheer volume of people cheering him on. Megan leans close and says something to him, whispering into his ear. Landon nods to her and his smile gets a little bigger.
Comet: I can't imagine what is going through Landon Maddix's mind right now. He grew up watching wrestling, dreaming of being in the spotlight on a show just like this one... and now here he is!
Then, once more, the lights in the giant stadium fade to black...
The crowd is restless, anxious, knowing something is about to happen...
Then...
A soft female voice whispers two words not heard in over a year at an SWF event...
... Midnight Carnival ...
"You give me that funny feeling in my tummy..."
The IGNTron flashes blazing white in time with the opening beats of the Red Hot Chili Peppers' "Love Rollercoaster" as the Carnival's anthem pumps through the arena, revealing with each flash thin black lettering that reads "Step Right Up." As the guitar part drops in, three blue laser lights trace the arena, all stemming from the same point in the middle of the entrance ramp.
"Ahhh shit yeah... that's right... STEP RIGHT UP!!!!"
As the words "Rollercoaster of Love" echo through the arena for the first time, the laser lights flare out into a blue haze across the entrance ramp. The crowd is positively apoplectic as the curtain parts, revealing the one and only Love Rollercoaster, the heavily modified golf cart used by the members of the Midnight Carnival as transportation all those years ago. Grand Slam Mark Stevens is in the driver's seat, jamming to the music while Edwin MacPhisto, consummate showman, stands with his upper body stuck through the sunroof, dancing to the funky beat!
"Step right up and get your tickets!!!"
As the refrain arrives for the first time, the arena plunges back into darkness just as purple strobe lights tear through the house and the blue laser lights spiral wildly, illuminating the members of the Midnight Carnival in funky, staccato bursts. The IGNTron video plays, flashing half-second clips of classic maneuvers from all of the Carnival's members past.
Funyon: And his partners, at a combined weight of five hundred and thirty three pounds... hailing from London, England and Lincoln, Nebraska respectively... they are the Undefeated Stables Champions... EDWIN MACPHISTO AND "GRAND SLAM" MARK STEVENS... THE MIDNIGHT CARNIVAL!!!
As the Love Rollercoaster careens down the long ramp, the camera flashes briefly to the two former Carnies in the ring. King is ticked, ready to rip someone apart for this, but Raynor is surprisingly cool and collected.
The 'Coaster makes a lap of the ring and comes to rest on the side of the ring closest to the stage. Grand Slam steps out of the cart and starts up the stairs, still jamming to the music but focusing his attention on King. Edwin, on the other hand, pushes himself up through the sunroof and stands on top of the Love Rollercoaster, his bright red vinyl coast shimmering in the pulsating lights.
Edwin: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, just in case you may have forgotten about us I thought a primer might be in order before we get down to business tonight! We be, am, is ,are and forever shall be them that are known around this world as the greatest collection of pranksters, merry-makers, partiers and oh yes... wrestlers to ever grace the squared circle... we are the Midnight Carnival!!! (huge pop from the crowd) Tonight.. tonight... TONIGHT! Tonight we take care of business... tonight we right old wrongs... tonight we settle old debts... tonight we stand against those who would see us humiliated and destroyed! Tonight... tonight we will go into that ring and we will remind each and every one of you out there in this stadium and in TV Land that the side of righteousness, that the side of good, that the side of funk will never lose! Tonight we win! But tomorrow... tomorrow we party!
The crowd goes absolutely funky monkey insane! Edwin drops the mic back into the 'Coaster and steps through the ropes into the ring where Grand Slam is shaking hands with Landon and Megan. Edwin joins in the greetings by shaking Landon's hand vigorously, then grabbing Megan in a huge bear hug! Landon looks a little upset, but Edwin releases her quickly, looks at Maddix, smiles, then offers his hand to the young lady for a proper handshake!
Comet: Let there be no doubt that, at least for one night, the Midnight Carnival is back in business!
Riley: So sad, them living in the past like this, when they were cool, when they had a chance of winning... when they mattered.
Comet: Robert... I am shocked! Even for you that was low.
In the ring, the heels are making ready to start, but team face is smiling at them. Edwin mocks them. The viewers at home can't hear him, but it is clear what he is saying...
Edwin: We know something you don't know...
Funyon, still in the ring, again raises the mic to his lips.
Funyon: And, the special guest referee for this match...
Team heel is pissed, as is the ref already in the ring. King stomps over to Funyon, screaming in his face. The mic catches most of it, but as most of it is bleeps, all we really hear is...
King: ...your job sequin boy? No special ref!
Funyon: the Commissioner of the SWF... Alex Zenon!!!
Z's music plays and he appears from behind the curtain, dressed in the standard black slacks and striped shirt. King turns bright red. Tom kicks the bottom turnbuckle in frustration while Allison tries to console him. Edwin, Stevens, Megan and Maddix all share a good laugh at the heels predicament. Raynor seems totally unaffected, his eyes locked on Edwin MacPhisto.
Riley: This is too much! Z is the special referee? How can this possibly be fair?
Comet: Well Robert, by the glances being shared between the former referee for this match and the Suicide King, I'm willing to go out on a limb and say that it has a far better chance of being called down the middle now!
Riley: Are you trying to imply that the Suicide King would stoop so low as to bribe a referee?
Comet: He's done it before.
Riley: That was just a tip, you know, like if a bellman helps you with a suitcase...
Z reaches the ring and goes straight to the former ref, points to the backstage area and says something. The old ref thinks about starting something, but decides now isn't the time and heads back up the ramp. As Funyon exits the ring, King calmly walks over to Zenon and says something. Z turns away, trying to ignore him, but King grabs his arms and spins him back so the two are nose-to-nose. King says something to the Commissioner again, this time with clenched teeth. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to make out the words "If you do this..." right before Z points at the timekeeper and signals for the bell.
**Ding ding ding**
Comet: And this historic match is underway!!
The two teams confer, the Carnies+1 talking it out while the EvilCarnies+1 continue to have conniptions over the sudden addition of Z to the match. On the side of all that is light, holy, and out of shape, Mark shares a nod with Edwin and Landon and steps through the ropes.
Comet: Stevens will start it off for his team, possibly looking to anchor this match with a little old-school prowess.
Seeing the heavy hitter take his place in the ring, Tom Flesher pushes out of the surly triangle and nonchalantly ducks into the ring.
Riley: And it'll be Tom Flesher kicking it off for King's team! That's what I like to see, Comet - in the ring with two has-beens, two legends, and one yet-to-be, Tom's easily the man most physically prepared for the match, and he should be able to dismantle Ol' Gimpy in short order.
Comet: We'll see about that...
Stevens squares up to Tom, a head taller and probably a whole lot angrier than the walking technical handbook. The Superior One looks for an in, slowly shifting out of his corner and towards the center. With a slight jog forward he baits Stevens, and the heavy hitter charges forward looking for a lock-up. Stevens, vicelike, clamps his hands down on Tom's shoulders, and Tom starts to buckle under the pressure.
Comet: Grand Slam may still be rusty, but at 300 pounds he's going to be the juggernaut in this match...
As Stevens tries to twist Tom out into the center of the ring, safely away from the heel corner, the Superior One launches a left boot into Mark's shin, causing a short stutter in Grand Slam's walk. Tom fires again, but this time pushes upward as well, managing to shove Stevens off and out...but not too far out, as the Superior One bats a returning Mark back with an open palm to the face!
Riley: B-b-b-b-bitchslap!
Stevens reels, affronted, and the boos are on as Flesher immediately transitions into a low dropkick, cracking against Mark's always-troublesome knee and felling the big man to a one-leg kneel. Flesher wastes no time and pulls Mark back up into a front facelock. Stevens finds a knee flowing swiftly into his slightly pronounced gut, and then another, and then another, as Flesher slowly grinds him down. After a fourth jab, Flesher shoves the gasping Stevens back up and away, and this time drives a speeding palm strike straight into his collarbone!
Riley: And a palm strike from Tommy Boy keeps Grand Sham reeling! It was a brilliant tactical move to get Tom in there first - Stevens is mad and he wants a power brawl, but you can't throw a punch if you're a broken old man.
In the corner, Landon and Edwin start shouting words of encouragement and pounding the turnbuckle. Across the ring, King shoots instruction to Flesher, and Raynor glares across, steely and unmoving. Stevens wobbles back towards Flesher, who takes him into a smooth arm wrench, breaking down the shoulder slowly and painfully. Z checks for any suspect holds, but Flesher's all legal as he grinds Mark's joints. Tom pounds another knee into Mark's gut and the Slammer tries to shove back with a big palm of his own, but Tom leans with it and snaps Mark forward with the trapped arm. Mark surges forward, and Tom quickly drives a Doc Marten into the back of Mark's knee, dropping him again. The big man falters and Tom unloads a knucklehead smack across the back of his head, much to King's delight!
Comet: This is uncalled for!
Tom backs up and gives himself a little pat on the back while Mark, frustrated, clambers back to his feet. Stevens turns, fuming, just as Flesher saunters back and snares the arm again. But this time...
WHAM!
Comet: Now THAT was called for!
The crowd roars as Stevens slams Flesher raw across the face with his free forearm! The Superior One loses his grip and rocks back, and Stevens blasts forward and levels Taamo with a short-range clothesline! Flesher bounces up back off the mat almost straight off the momentum of Mark's crushing blow...and goes right back down again, facefirst, as Mark unloads another clothesline into the back of his head. Businesslike, Stevens hoists a wind-sucking Flesher up off the mat, catches a waistlock, and crunches him against the mat with a fearsome belly to belly! Stevens rises up off the mat like a fire-breathing totem while Flesher clutches at the small of his back, barely pushing himself back up to a stumbling three-point stance.
Comet: I haven't seen Stevens this revved up since his return! Tom tried to diminish him and Stevens wasn't going to have it!
Stevens gives Flesher a helping hand back to his feet, and then greets Tom with a hamhock of a punch! Flesher trades back with a palm blow of his own, but Stevens comes back even harder with another punch, then another, quickly taking control of the slugfest as the Superior One looks for an out. He looks left...he looks right...and then he looks right up the middle as a Grand Slam shoulder charge pounds him into the ropes and down onto his face. The crowd is revved up, but Mark, his body catching up with his heart, stops to catch his breath.
Fortunately, an eager Landon Maddix is just a step away...
SLAP!
Comet: It should be interesting to see how the fans react to Landon, who's only recently worked his way into their good graces.
Riley: I liked him better when he punched people in the crotch...
As Slammer steps out and takes a high-five from Edwin, Landon climbs through the ropes, hearing the fans' cheers waver a little bit at the somewhat untested commodity. Always a man of action, he quickly springs back to the second rope and leaps off, blasting the rising Flesher with a flying bodypress! Flesher crashes to the mat while Maddix bounces almost back to his feet. Landon runs into the ropes, bounces back and delivers a hard dropkick to the back of the Superior One's head, just as Flesher was starting to sit up! Landon scoots around, hooks the leg...
One... Two... Th...NO! Flesher kicks out!
Comet: Landon almost had him there Robert!
Riley: I disagree wholeheartedly Comet. Flesher is a ring veteran, he knows enough to wait as long as he can to kick out, to try and get some of his wind back!
Landon moves to his feet, dragging Flesher up with him by a handful of hair. Looking to keep fresh, Landon reaches for the tag while keeping Flesher under control in front of him. But Flesher has been around this turn too many times, and starts pumping his legs, picking Landon up and charging across the ring diagonally and driving La Cucaracha hard into the enemy turnbuckles. Tom holds out his hand for a tag and gets one. The Suicide King calmly steps into the ring, his swagger and confidence as intact as they ever have been. He steps up to Maddix and delivers a brutal knife-edge chop (Woo!!) that raises a red welt across his chest! Maddix is hanging in the corner, his arms draped over the top rope as King settles into a long practiced sequence of chops (each one accompanied by a Woo!) and elbow smashes to the bridge of Landon' nose.
Riley: Here's where it begins Comet. King and Associates has chosen a member of the opposing team to focus on and isolate, and now they are going to just pick him apart piece by piece.
Comet: I am familiar with the strategy of tag team wrestling Robert. However, I think they may have made a mistake by focusing their efforts on Landon Maddix. He's the most mobile and best conditioned on his team. The evildoers will have to work triple hard to keep La Cucaracha under control.
Riley: Conveniently, there are three of them.
Across the ring, the Carnies are clapping and cheering, trying to get Maddix fired up and get him out of the corner. Finally, Referee / Commissioner Zenon has to step in and remind King that, while accepted, keeping someone in the corner is, in fact, illegal. King acquiesces, stepping away from Landon and holding his arms out to the side. Z gets in front of him and says something, which King chooses to take as an insult and starts berating the Commissioner near the center of the ring. Meanwhile, in one of the oldest tricks in the book, Tom Flesher has pulled the usually forgotten tag rope across the throat of Landon Maddix, and is heaving backwards, choking the life out of him. Across the ring, Edwin and Grand Slam are absolutely livid that these sort of shenanigans are going on, and they are sure to tell their concerns to the referee. Unlike most single-minded refs though, Z is on the lookout for crap such as this and turns immediately, almost catching Flesher just as the Superior One drops the rope. Landon is coughing and sputtering as he tries to stagger out of the corner. Z admonishes the two heels in the corner with the universal sign for "I'm watching you".
Riley: Basic but effective teamwork will win you a match every time.
Comet: Robert, I don't even know what to say... these men are beyond the pale in their no-goodness. Why they're... they're... they're just bastards!
Riley: What did you say? Goodness Comet... think of the children!
King pulls Landon out of the corner by the arm and twists it, stepping under and turning, putting incredible tension on the shoulder joint. Landon reacts by dropping to one knee, King takes advantage by sending his foot way up in the air and bringing the heel down on the top of Maddix's shoulder! Maddix's free hand reaches across his body to the shoulder instantly. As King slowly torques the arm, grinding bone against bone and tearing tendons, Maddix slowly pushes his way back up. But as soon as he is vertical King hops back just a hair, then drives his foot hard into the armpit of Maddix with a nasty sidekick! Maddix again drops to one knee, his face twisted in agony. King pulls Maddix closer to the center of the ring, using the trapped arm as bait, holding it out towards Maddix's corner. Grand Slam and Edwin lean in, trying to make the tag! Stevens' arm is a little longer and he gets within an inch of Maddix's hand, but King, finished with his taunting, pulls the hand away. Absolutely ticked, Grand Slam charges into the ring only to be stopped very short by Referee Z, telling him to get back out of the ring. This, of course, allows plenty of time for King to signal to Raynor to come into the ring, Raynor slapping his hands together simulating the sound of a tag.
Comet: There is no way that is going to work against Z! He knows all of these tricks!
Riley: Just watch my good man, it doesn't have to actually work!
Z is still getting Grand Slam out of the ring as King uses the twisted arm to launch Maddix across the ring and into the ropes, bounce back, King grabs Landon around the waist and flapjacks him backwards, only to have Maddix's momentum abruptly stopped and reversed by a high dropkick right to his face! Maddix falls in a crumpled heap as Z finally turns around and sees both men in the ring and starts to point for Raynor to get out! Raynor, craft veteran, gets right in Z's face trying to explain to him that he made the tag! Z's rebuttal is simple, explaining to Raynor that he isn't stupid and that was the sound of Raynor's hand clapping.
Meanwhile, as Z and Raynor debate the finer points of Zen philosophy, King takes full advantage of the distracted ref by grabbing both of Landon's legs, opening them wide and dropping his knee right into Landon's... "special place". The crowd starts to boo again as poor, poor Maddix rolls over on his side, both hands covering the targeted area. Chris, knowing by the crowd's reaction that he has done his job, finally agrees that Z is correct and steps out of the ring. Z turns around to see King casually rolling Landon over onto his back and sitting down next to him, leaning back over him just enough to cause a pinfall but not enough to actually, you know, cause King any discomfort. As King examines his fingernails for chips and/or splits, Z drops to the mat...
One... Two... Thr... NO!! Landon kicks out hard. The crowd goes nuts and King looks slightly annoyed at the kid's persistence.
Comet: Robert, I am starting to think that King has no plans of actually pinning Maddix anytime soon.
Riley: Of course not Comet! Maddix is a trifle, a nothing! King wants to destroy Mark Stevens. The fact that Grand Scam is so willing to hide behind younger guys just means that King and Company will have to show him the results of that!
Comet: ...a trifle?
Turning onto his front, King glares deep into the eyes of Landon Maddix...before smashing him with a forearm. Maddix's body jolts from the impact, as King keeps the forearm placed firmly across the Maddix's jaw, grinding downwards as the youngster tries to squirm away. King makes sure he's going nowhere though, mounting Landon as he continues to force downwards on the ICTV Champion's head. Eventually referee Z feels the need to do something, raising his hand ready to start a five count... only for King to get right up and laugh at Z. Meanwhile, Landon shakes off the effects of King's forearm and gets back up. King notices and turns away from Z, and in one swift movement snaps forward with a thumb to the eye...
AAH!
ARRRRGH!
...WHICH IS REPLICATED BY MADDIX!
Comet: If King is looking to cheat, he's in the ring with the wrong kid...because Landon Maddix will match him illegal move for illegal move.
Riley: It kills you to say that, doesn't it?
Both men clutch at their eyes simultaneously as Z looks on, managing to keep a straight face. King is first to react, ignoring the pain filling his eye socket and reaching forward to grab Maddix by the arm. However, Maddix reverses an Irish whip and sends King into the ropes. King shoots back, but only a few steps as he grabs the top rope and stops himself short.
SLAP!
And tags in Chris Raynor, to a TORRENT of boos from the crowd! King manages a wry smile as he steps out of the ring, squinting slightly still from the jab he took earlier...as Raynor stops on the apron, looking briefly into the crowd. Maddix has yet to move since King tagged out, as Raynor takes one last deep breath before stepping into the ring. Already a buzz has filled the crowd, as Flesher and Allison busily applaud their partner.
"MAC - PHIS - TOOOO!"
"MAC - PHIS - TOOOO!"
"MAC - PHIS - TOOOO!"
The crowd are on their feet, practically screaming the name of their favorite Londoner...the man who two years ago almost killed Chris Raynor, who ruined his career...the man who Raynor is staring a hole through. The match has abruptly stopped as a result, as Raynor and MacPhisto are locked in a stare-down while Maddix looks on in confusion.
Comet: What a moment here.
Riley: Totally.
By now, Raynor has passed Maddix completely and is staring down Edwin who is looking straight back. Z is watching this, as every other person in The Rose Bowl is, wondering what to do...as suddenly King skulks back into the ring behind his and Landon's backs. The crowd begins screaming, but that isn't warning enough, as Landon is wide open for a clothesline to the back of the head!
"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
King quickly re-exits the ring, getting reprimanded by Z as he goes, who didn't see the clothesline but isn't at his first picnic either. Meanwhile, Raynor still has his attentions set on Edwin. Pointing an accusing finger at Edwin, Raynor mouths the words 'you and me' before turning around, to see Maddix laid flat out face-first on the mat. Raynor is confused, obviously. But all the same, he moves in and grabs a handful of Maddix's hair to pull him off the mat. Grabbing the tights as well, Raynor pulls Maddix from off the mat and clubs him across the shoulder blades with a forearm that drops Maddix onto all fours. Quickly Raynor hooks under Maddix's arms and hauls him up from the mat again, looking frighteningly focused as he pulls Maddix forward into a stiff short-arm clothesline!
Riley: Raynor is looking good here Comet. No ring rust as far as I can tell.
Comet: Not yet, anyway. The test will come when he's in the ring with a fresh man, and that may possibly be a fresh Edwin MacPhisto.
With Maddix down, Raynor thinks about going for a cover...just as Maddix begins to struggle to his feet, his equilibrium out of whack. Raynor gives him a helpful hand up, followed with a less helpful hand to the jaw in the form of a right hand. Maddix stumbles across the ring, bouncing back off the ropes. But Raynor is waiting and nails Maddix coming back with a big boot to the face. Stevens grimaces slightly, watching his partner fall to the mat like a sack of potatoes, as King and Flesher break into some more applause.
"MAC - PHIS - TOOOO!"
"MAC - PHIS - TOOOO!"
"MAC - PHIS - TOOOO!"
Again the crowd begins to chant for Edwin, who begins to jig along with the rhythm of the chant without taking his eyes off of the action. Raynor meanwhile ignores the chants, as he hauls Maddix off the mat before turning him around so he faces towards the corner. A quick shove sends Maddix sternum first into the buckles, before staggering out into Raynor's waiting arms. He lifts the ICTV Champion up with ease, placing him carefully across the top turnbuckle before yanking Maddix's head south which causes Landon to get tied-up in the tree of woe position. Frantically the youngster tries to struggle free, but his leg is hooked tightly. Quickly Z moves in and looks to help out...but he just as quickly gets the hell out of the way as Raynor charges from the opposite corner of the ring with reckless abandon, like a bull charging at a red rag, ducking his head at the last moment and spearing the air out of the vertical Maddix!!!
"OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH!!!"
The ring almost jolts forward with Raynor's body, as the force of the spear unhooks Maddix from the precarious position he was in. Slowly he topples back, hitting the mat hard. Meanwhile though, Z is busy in consultation with Raynor, warning him about the dangers of charging at a referee while he's doing his job.
Riley: What the hell is Z's problem? The only thing he's done all match is have a go at King and his team-mates.
Comet: And he's been justified each time.
Riley: Raynor did nothing wrong. Z just got in his way. And now he's in the way again.
However, Raynor just shrugs off the warning as he strolls back over to Maddix. Locking on a front facelock, Raynor uses that to pull Maddix up from the canvas with very little effort before throwing Landon's arm over his head and hitting a textbook vertical suplex. Maddix's back arches on impact and he starts howling in pain as he holds his ribs, which seems to worry Megan somewhat. The crowd have now quieted down, clearly worried in their own right, as Raynor stalks over Maddix once more. All Edwin and Mark can do is look on and encourage their partner on, as their partner is again effortlessly hauled from the canvas and whipped towards the turnbuckles with authority...
*CHINK!*
...which he hits HARD, sternum first! But before he can collapse to the canvas, Raynor is following in and clotheslines Maddix back into the buckles, crushing him against them! All Maddix can do is slump forward into the turnbuckles in an attempt to stay up, as Raynor shakes loose his right arm after the clothesline. Grabbing Maddix, Raynor pulls his opponent out of the corner...and he promptly slumps forward once more, falling into Raynor's body. Which is just asking for some pain. Raynor flings Maddix's arms aside and stoops low, scooping Maddix again and with a quick spin away from the corner SPIKES him with a spinebuster! Again Landon goes straight to clutching his ribs, while Raynor turns his attentions to MacPhisto...almost managing a smile as he glares at his former friend. Almost. But not quite. King, however, is smiling broadly, from ear to ear as he looks down at Maddix. Finally Raynor turns back around, and quick as a flash King extends a hand for Raynor and asks for the tag. Looking away from King, Raynor stomps Landon in the back of the head, but finally concedes and makes the tag, to bring King back into the match.
"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
And the response is deafening.
Comet: Yes, and surprise surprise King wants back in now that Maddix is hurt.
Riley: I hope you aren't casting aspersions on a man with the social standing of the Suicide King.
Comet: I wouldn't be the first.
King slowly re-enters the ring, taking his sweet time as he swaggers across the ring...but then swaggers right back, seeing Maddix laid flat out on the mat, deciding to talk strategy with Flesher. The two chatter away, with Raynor distantly looking off to the side, before King finally breaks away. And again he swaggers across the ring, smiling widely. Maddix is now trying his damndest to get to his feet, but he's met with a knee across the side of the head from King. It's almost as if King is mocking Maddix now, as he strolls around his opponent's fallen frame before hitting a casual knee again.
"KING SUCKS! KING SUCKS! KING SUCKS!"
The crowd shoots some venom King's way, as he grabs Maddix by the leg and physically drags him towards the 'rudo' corner...before dropping an elbow to the back of Maddix's rib area. With his ribs taking a beating, Landon again tries to crawl towards the outstretched arms of MacPhisto and Stevens. But he's halted by King, who drops the elbow on the ICTV Champion again.
Comet: Maddix needs to make a tag here... he's been in the ring for what seems like an eternity!
Riley: I don't see it happening anytime soon Comet! Team King is just too good at what they do!
King tugs Maddix back again, then aims... and drops a knee right into Maddix's ribs! King motions to Grand Slam and Edwin in the corner as if dismissing them, but the crowd knows what Maddix needs... he needs energy!
MAD-DIX MAD-DIX MAD-DIX
Led on by Megan at ringside, the crowd cheers Maddix on, willing him to get up and make the tag, praying that he can keep his team in the match. In the ring, King decides to end all of the debate. He pulls Maddix to his feet and into a half-nelson!
Riley: Joker's Wild! King is going to finish this right here and right now!
Comet: I fear that you may be correct Robert...
Maddix hears the crowd cheering and starts fighting back, finally freeing his left arm from King's grasp as he attempts to pull it across his chest! With a fast move, he reaches around, grabs King's head in a three quaters headlock then runs at the corner, up the turnbuckles... flipping over...
Comet: Acid Drop!! Maddix reverses the Joker's Wild into the Acid Drop!!
Riley: No!!
Maddix and King are both on the mat, neither one moving! Z starts the ten count...
1...
2...
3...
MAD-DIX MAD-DIX
4...
5...
Maddix is on his feet, pulling himself down the ropes, trying to make it to his corner! King pulls himself up after him and the chase (such as it is) is on! King lunges at Maddix, trying to keep him away from the tag, but Landon lunges at the same time...
AND SLAPS EDWIN MACPHISTO'S HAND!!
Comet: He made it! Citizen Maddix has tagged in Edwin MacPhisto for his first action of the match!
Riley: I think I may be ill.
Edwin charges into the ring, catching King with a hard clothesline that turns him inside-out, dropping him to the mat! Flesher charges in, trying to break Edwin's momentum, but gets clotheslined himself! Edwin turns back and catches King with a hard right hand as he gets off the mat, staggering him back into the ropes! Tom is back on his feet and tries one more time to take out Edwin, but the Crown Prince of Flash and Panache ducks under the swing and slaps Flesher upside the head, followed by the other hand delivering a quick slap to the other side of the face! Tom is stunned just long enough for Edwin to do a little dance, pretend to make a little love and just get down tonight with a hard uppercut to the underside of Flesher's chin that causes the Superior One to stagger back against the ropes... and fall right out of the ring courtesy of a low bridge by Mark Stevens!!
Comet: Edwin MacPhisto is a house of fire Robert!
Riley: I wish he were... I really, really do...
Stevens drops off the apron, looking to pursue a little revenge against Flesher, but Allison rushes around the ring to get in between the Heavy Hitter and her man! Stevens backs off and climbs back up to the apron. While that is happening, in the ring Edwin is motioning to Raynor to come into the ring, going so far as to take a few steps towards the bad guys' corner, taunting him. But the Rayn Man is unperturbed, certain that his time will come. Z tries to push Edwin back and now Raynor decides to come into the ring, just a step, but far enough to spin Z around to try and push him back out of the ring. Edwin starts to some forwards again, eager to go ahead and take the Fallen Carnie on, but everyone seems to have forgotten about the original Evil Carnie, as King brings his arm up between Edwin's legs hard for a brutal low-blow, then follows it up by pulling Edwin back and into a roll-up that Raynor, as he steps out of the ring, helpfully points out to Z...
One...
Two...
Th..No!
Comet: That was very close Robert, very close to being a massive miscarriage of Justice.
Riley: That was beautiful! Edwin was on such a roll, now look at him!
Indeed Edwin certainly looks in great pain. In his corner, Stevens is slapping the top turnbuckle, trying to cheer him on as King pulls him to his feet by a handful of hair and into a reverse front facelock, then drops him hard onto his knee, working over the neck that was seriously injured last year at Genesis. King doesn't let up, grabbing a leg of Edwin's and standing, then dropping his knee right into the side of MacPhisto's knee, stretching tendons in directions they were never quite meant to go. King gets back to his feet quickly, not wanting to lose momentum, and pulls Edwin over towards the ropes. He places MacPhisto's foot on the bottom rope, jumps up and sits down right on Edwin's knee!
Comet: King is working over Edwin's knee here Robert, that is a little out of character for him, isn't it?
Riley: You have a point Comet, but King knows that Edwin has been out of a ring for a while now, and he knows that the key to any success he will have here in this match is being able to use what remains of his speed to keep ahead of everyone.
King continues to work over the knee, dropping an elbow down on it, then placing his foot in the crook of Edwin's joint and pulling the toe of his boot back with both hands! Edwin yells out in pain as King cranks back hard, using every bit of leverage he can find, including a little help from the ropes! Which, it must be said, may have been a mistake as this is just the type of thing that Z expects of King. He points accusingly at King and starts the 5 count to break the hold.
As expected, he gets to four and a half before King decides to break the hold. He stands up slowly and pulls Edwin up... but the Friar of all that is Funky fires up on King! Right hand! Right hand! Left! Right! King is staggered! Edwin throws himself into the ropes, bounce back... springing sidekick that nearly takes King's head off! Edwin hits the mat hard but King falls back into the ropes and is sprung back to a standing position! Edwin gathers himself and kips up, catches King in a front facelock and falls back hard, pegging King's head right into the mat!
Comet: Kip-Up DDT! That's signature MacPhisto, Robert! He's got the upper hand now, can he do something with it?
Riley: I doubt it, Comet... King has been the anchor of this team so far and with very few exceptions, has been near unstoppable.
Edwin gets back to his feet, the exertion obviously taking its toll on him, but he isn't done yet. He grabs a handful of King's hair, pulls him to his feet and whips him hard into the ropes, bounce back...
Comet: Shotai!!
King hits the mat hard trying hard to regain his breath. Edwin grabs him by the arm and drags him towards the heel corner, holding his hand out to the corner, asking for Raynor to tag in!
MAC-PHIS-TO MAC-PHIS-TO
Riley: What the heck does he think he's doing?
MAC-PHIS-TO MAC-PHIS-TO
Comet: Citizen MacPhisto knows why his arch-nemesis Chris Raynor agreed to be here tonight! He knows that he wants to get his revenge for what Edwin did to him two years ago! But don't make the mistake of thinking Edwin has forgiven and forgotten what Chris Raynor did, and tried to do, to both him and the Midnight Carnival!
MAC-PHIS-TO MAC-PHIS-TO
Raynor says something to Edwin who yells back and pulls King a little closer so Raynor won't have to reach far. Flesher knows what is happening, so he stays out of it. On the other side of the ring, Landon is ready to run across the ring and give Edwin a hand, but Grand Slam puts a huge hand on his shoulder, letting him know that this is a personal matter and they should stay out of it.
MAC-PHIS-TO MAC-PHIS-TO
Comet: Ladies and Gentlemen, this is two years in the making! If you haven't been taping this, now would be a good time to start!
Raynor reaches out his hand, holding it mere inches above King's.
Riley: He's going to do it Comet! We finally get to see this play out!
Comet: Hold onto your hats citizens! This is going to be explosive!
::Slap::
Riley: It's on! Here we go!!
Raynor steps into the ring slowly, letting King roll out under the bottom rope into the soft embrace of the ringside mat (and Allison Onita). Edwin backs up to the center of the ring, just waiting for Raynor. As the Rayn Man approaches, the crowd, previously chanting Edwin's name, just dissolves into mindless, indiscriminate noise. Edwin says something to Raynor, but Chris doesn't respond. He closes with MacPhisto and gets nose-to-nose, still saying nothing as Edwin continues to list off everything Raynor has done wrong, including aligning himself with Suicide King for tonight. Raynor's response? Simple. He rears back and slaps the taste out of Edwin's mouth! Edwin does a slow-burn turn, back to facing Raynor before he throws an equally wicked right hand that clubs Raynor across the cheekbone! Raynor's head snaps back into position as he returns the favor! The two men are trading punches back and forth, back and forth, working the crowd into higher and higher levels of frenzy!
Raynor sends a clubbing blow into Edwin's temple that causes him to stagger back a few feet, but Edwin responds by charging straight ahead and tackling Raynor, knocking him off his feet and onto his back! They are still trading blows, both men trying to bring a knee up into the other's stomach as they fight!
Comet: Robert, this isn't a wrestling match anymore! These two men hate each other so much that everything they know about holds and counters has been forgotten in the desperate rush to hurt each other as much as possible!
Riley: I don't think I've ever seen anything quite like this Comet. This is a street fight!
Finally, Raynor is able to push Edwin off him long enough to get to his feet as Edwin does the same. This time their training gets the better of them and they hold off on the headlong rush and start to circle the ring. Finally they come together in the center of the ring with a classic collar-elbow lockup! They struggle for a moment, then Edwin gets the upper hand, swinging around behind Raynor, locking on a waist-lock and hoisting the Rayn Man up... hanging there... then driving him down with a monster German Suplex!! Edwin is right back to his feet, but his lack of ring time in the last year is starting to show as he is sucking wind. He stands still for a second, getting his breathing under control as Raynor gets slowly to his feet, both hands on the back of his surgically-repaired neck. Raynor comes at him, Edwin ducks under a clothesline, letting the Rayn Man run by him and into the ropes, bounce back, Edwin steps forward, arms out as if to catch Raynor, but Chris throws his feet into the air and splats his heel against Edwin's face, nailing him with a running scissors kick!
Riley: What a move! Edwin was going for something big so he might have a chance to put Raynor away, but Raynor just laid him out!
Comet: There isn't going to be any big technical exchange here Robert. There is just too much bad blood between these two men!
Raynor pulls Edwin to his feet, sends a hard shot right into Edwin's face to pacify him momentarily, grabs his arms and steps behind Edwin, crossing Edwin's arm against his throat! The he quickly pulls Edwin back, slamming him down against the mat, rolls him onto his stomach while sitting on his lower back, then pulls, using Edwin's own arms to make him submit!
Riley: What a move Comet! Raynor has Edwin totally under control!
Comet: Come on, Citizen MacPhisto! Don't let it end like this!
Edwin is fighting against the hold, but it is excruciating. Edwin is kicking his legs and shifting ever-so-slowly towards the ropes... three inches... two inches...
MAC-PHIS-TO MAC-PHIS-TO
One inch... he makes it! The crowd goes funky-monkey-forced-to-watch-Simple-Life-for-eighty-hours insane!!! As Z starts the five count, Raynor really wrenches back on the neck, delivering as much damage as possible in the four seconds he has. Finally he releases the hold and Edwin just falls forward, all of the energy in his body spent just trying to escape. Raynor sees that. King and Tom see that and start yelling for Raynor to make the pin. Grand Slam and Landon see that and start jumping up and down on the apron, trying to transmit some of their energy across the ring to Edwin.
Comet: This could be it, Robert. Edwin's neck is certainly a weak point, just as it is with Citizen Raynor. There's no way he could kick out of a pin here.
Riley: I agree Comet, and I can't see anything that will save him as he is far too close to Raynor's corner.
Raynor pulls Edwin out of the ropes and lets him flop to his back. Edwin is nearly out, his arms moving feebly and his breath shallow. Raynor kneels down next to him and Z drops to the mat, ready to count the pinfall...
But Raynor stops. He stares at Edwin, looking for something in his face, some sign that he has broken the prankster, that he has finished this war.
Edwin sees him staring...
And smiles.
Raynor spits at him and grabs him by the hair, pulling him to his feet and whipping him hard into a neutral corner! He follows him in, delivering a hard clothesline along the way. Then Raynor swaps places with Edwin and pushes himself up onto the top rope, pulling Edwin up with him. With Edwin standing on the second rope, Raynor pulls him into a standing headscissors. Raynor starts to underhook his arms...
-
“Allison, Candace, now Annie… Jesus, why can’t Toxx ever have an attractive Japanese woman who likes him?” Jet asks, lounging along one of the benches in the Revolution Zero locker room. Sean, Spike and Marcus are all present, but the leader of the group is mysteriously absent.
“So, do you know who it was Toxx went to see on Thursday?” Marcus asks Jet, who shakes her head.
“Wouldn’t say a word. Just kept grinning a lot, which normally means something’s about to go very wrong for someone.”
“As long as it’s not for us,” Sean rumbles. “I could really do with going over tactics with him for tonight.”
“He’ll be here,” Jet assures the big man. “Toxx won’t miss a show even when he’s not booked, so don’t worry about him no-showing when he’s got a match.”
As if on cue, the door to the dressing room opens and the Straight-Edge Sensation steps inside with his familiar lopsided grin in place. Toxxic looks around at his assembled stable as if to check everyone is there, then shuts the door behind him.
“Alright guys, what’s up?” he asks, easing the black holdall off his shoulder and setting it down on the bench beside him. “I’ve got a piece of good news.”
“We’ve got a Tag Title shot?” Sean asks hopefully.
“They’ve increased our wages?” Spike pipes up.
“Someone’s finally found a nude pic of Amy Craven on the internet?” Jet suggests. There is a momentary pause as the other members of Rev-0 look at the dreadlocked beauty.
“What?”
“None of the above,” Toxxic tells them, “but Sean, I am working on that. No, I need to introduce you to someone – guys, the Revolution has just increased by one…”
The Straight-Edge Sensation reaches behind him and opens the locker room door. For a moment all that is there is an empty doorway showing the corridor behind; then a man steps into their line of sight. Marcus and Sean look puzzled, evidently not recognising the newcomer, but Spike’s breath hisses through his teeth.
”Him?”
-
"Ouch!"
With an icepack pressed against her head and her eyelid being held open by the onsite trainer, Megan Skye's night has taken a turn for the worse. And she clearly isn't in the mood to sugar coat it as she glares back at the light being shone into her right eye. From the right the trainer moves to the left, before turning off the light in his hand and putting the stick back in his pocket.
"Well, I can't see any signs of concussion or any head trauma." the trainer says dryly. "You're pretty lucky."
"Yeah, I sure feel lucky." Megan replies sarcastically.
"Well it certainly could have been worst. You're not well trained enough to be taking these sort of shots Megan. I've known plenty of well travelled pros getting concussions from beltshots before, believe me."
"I'm in training though, 'doc'. I'm tough. Don't worry about me."
"Worrying about the people who work here is my job, remember."
From somewhere Megan manages to find humour enough to chuckle slightly, although it doesn't do her aching head any favours.
"Right..." the trainer again says dryly as he rummages around a rather untidy desk. "Apart from a nasty look bump on the head you're fine. Keep that icepack on for a while, that should stop it swelling up too much and messing up your hair. However, I wouldn't recommend anything too strenuous in the next few days. So that's no clubbing, no go-kart racing and no wrestling."
"Uhm...bit of a problem there." the voice of Landon Maddix suddenly speaks up, as he finally steps into view. "She's got a match. At Ashes II Ashes."
"Ah, yes...the new wrestling career." sighs the trainer. "Well, if you rest up then you may be okay for A2A. But even then, you won't be anywhere near 100% come match-time. As I say, you're not really trained for taking these sorts of shots Megan, so stepping into the ring so soon after this may be a shock to the system. However, I'm just the physio. I do recommend you get doctor's clearance before going through with this match."
"Don't worry Larry, we will." Maddix says quickly before helping Megan off of the physio's bench. "Thanks again."
The trainer simply nods and turns back to his 'desk' as Maddix helps Megan out of the room, acting as if she's just suffered a 10 foot fall rather than a nasty knock on the head. Actions which Megan doesn't appreciate. Pulling away from Maddix, Megan sits down on a nearby anvil case as her anxious buddy stands over her.
"Right, I think Larry's right. We'll go and get the doc's opinion and see if you're okay to go."
"There's no need." Megan groans, adjusting the icepack on the back of her head. "I'm fine. It's just a bump on the head, you heard him."
"It's more than 'just a bump on the head'. You just got hit in the back of the head with 40 odd pounds of gold. Well...aluminium, but all the same...it's still metal."
"But if I go to the doctor's, then you know what'll happen. I'll get a full check-up and we'll get the same verdict that you always get. 'One more shot to the head and you could end up concussed, in a coma, paralysed'...all that bull. And then we'll be going around doctor after doctor, looking for one who'll clear me."
"No. No, we'll get one opinion and if the doctor says you can't wrestle at A2A, you won't..."
"Landon..."
Megan looks up at Maddix, removing the icepack from her head and grimacing slightly as the numbness the ice was creating starts to wear off.
"...headache or no headache, I don't need any doctor's clearance. Whever I'm 100%, 95% or 50%... I'm going to kick that *BLEEP* guzzling bitch's ass at Ashes II Ashes!"
"YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"
A little taken aback, Maddix makes sure Megan puts the icepack back on her head before smiling.
"My god I'm turned on right now."
"...must be the icepack."
The two share a hearty laugh as the scene fades back into the arena.
-
“What the fuck…”
Cyclone Comet quickly pulls the microphone away from Robert Riley as the arena lights begin to dim. A blinking red light at the top of the tele-prompter signals the show is back on the air. Robert Riley shrugs his shoulders dismissively as Cyclone Comet glares at his
Broadcasting partner.
“Ladies and gentlemen welcome back to SWF SMMMARKKKDOWWWNNN!!!”
The fans cheer aloud as the house lights begin to dim. In the ring several SWF technicians amber about making the final preparations for the match. As the arena lights fade, a microphone is lowered into the center of the ring. . The cheering picks up when Funyon is seen making his way up the ring stairs.
“The next match will be a hardcore affair!” Cyclone Comet rattles in a dull monotone as he fumbles through his match notes.
“Did you say it was an affair?” quizzes Robert Riley as his broadcasting partner winces at his choice of words.
“That’s not what I meant, Robert”, Comet bristles as a smirk flashes across Rileys face.
“I should hope not!”
The crowd gives a polite round of applause as Funyon picks up the microphone in mid ring. The nattily clad ring announcer is clearly ill at ease as he glances at the entranceway to the arena. He clears his throat as the crowd begins to quiet.
“Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is for the Hardcore Gamers championship!”
The crowd once again goes wild as several chants for Carnage compete with chants for Andrea Montgomery. The crowd seems pretty mixed in their support for either combatant. In the stands numerous Carnage and Drea signs pop up and down as loyal SWF followers offer support to their favorite Superstars.
“This should be a scintillating match-up, Robert” Cyclone Comet exclaims as the less enthusiastic Robert Riley pops open a soda.
“Yeah, the freak vs. the geek” Riley states drolly. “Oh, Joy!”
The lights dim near the entranceway as an explosion of green pyrotechnics rock the arena. As the lights begin to brighten they appear to have a greenish tint to them that bathes the entire arena in green. Andrea Montgomery emerges from behind the curtain at the entranceway as No Doubts, “Just a girl” blares over the stadium sound system.
“First making her way to the ring she weights in at 143 pounds and hails from Biloxi, Mississippi…..Ladies and gentleman please welcome ANDREAAAA MONTGOMERRRRY!!!”
Andrea steps through a shower of green sparks as she makes her way to the ring. The challenger is wearing a sharp looking black leather jacket and dark tinted shades this evening. Andrea is resting a golf club on her shoulder as she calmly walks towards the ring area. She pauses momentarily to high five a few lucky members of the audience. As she gets closer to the ring she spots a young boy holding a “Drea” poster. She removes her shades and puts them on the youngster. The boy flashes a huge alligator smile as Andrea rubs his head and goes to the ring.
“This Citizen Montgomery makes such a fine example”, Cyclone Comet states as Andrea launches herself into the ring via the ropes.
“Yeah, an example of an idiot” Riley blurts as he continues to drink his coffee.
“How can you say that? Citizen Montgomery is a tremendous wrestler, and if I may a tremendous person as well”
Riley snickers as Montgomery begins her pre match stretch in her corner.
“She’s from Biloxi Mississippi” Riley says with a distinct tone of disdain in his voice.
“And what’s is wrong with Biloxi?”
“It’s hick central, the red-neck capital of the world!”
As Andrea stretches in her corner a loud of fog begins to rise from under the SmarkTron. The lights begin to dim as Funyon once again goes to the microphone
“Ladies and gentlemen her opponent weights in at 317 pounds and hails from Parts unknown…Please give a warm welcome to the S.W.F. Hardcore Gamers Champion…CAAAAARNNAGGGE!!!”
LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR
LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR
LET THE BODIES HIT THE…FLOOOOOOORRR!!!
A fountain of white and yellow Pyros erupt from the entrance ramp as Carnage emerges from behind the curtains. He pauses for a moment at the entrance and glares over the crowd. Carnage is resting the SWF Hardcore Gamers title on his massive right shoulder. He masked madman confidently walks towards the ring as members of the audience pelt him with spit balls and obscenities.
FREAK
FREAK
FREAAAAKK!!
“Warm welcome for Mr.Crazy” Riley shoots as the masked man stands outside the ring. He locks eyes on Andrea Montgomery as he heads to the steel ring stairs. Montgomery grips her golf club tightly in her hands as Carnage steps over the top rope and heads to his corner. The challenger remains silent as Carnage climbs the corner turn buckle and raises his Championship belt high in the air for all the crowd to see.
BOOOOOO!!!
“Tough crowd” Riley blurts as Carnage dismounts the turnbuckle and turns his attention to Andrea Montgomery. The challenger glares at Carnage as she raises her golf club as if to strike. Carnage keeps his eyes locked on his opponent as he hands the Championship belt to the referee.
“I’m a little surprised that Citizen Carnage had not bought his bat with him for this match”, Cyclone Comet begins as the referee hands the title belt to the time keeper.
“This is a hardcore match and Carnage has come to the ring without a weapon!”
Robert Riley takes a drink from his Dunkin Donuts Biggee; as Andrea and Carnage engage in a stare down the referee signals for the bell.
DING DING
“I don’t think Carnage needs any weapons.” Riley responds. “He already outweights Montgomery by close to 200 pounds.”
Andrea swings the golf club at Carnage as he quickly side steps the blow. The challenger circles Carnage waving the club menacingly as what might pass as a look of concern flashes across the face of the champion. Montgomery again swings the club at Carnage who once again is able to side step the impact.
“Andrea Montgomery must be a frustrated golfer!” Riley mocks as Cyclone Comet scribbles on his match notes.
“The match is a hardcore match so the golf club is a legal weapon” Comet replies as Andrea once again goes for a swing and a miss.
“Well thank you Captain Obvious”
Andrea quickly shifts tactics and fires a well aimed toe kick to Carnages balls. The big man doubles over in pain as the challenger fires a nasty golf swing directly at his head.
WHIFF
Carnage someone manages to duck the lethal putter and drive a shoulder into his opponent. The challenger falls to the mat and the golf club sails across the ring.
“Lets’ see how tough she is without her weapon!” Riley mocks as Carnage tries to shake off the earlier testicular assault.
“I’m certain citizen Montgomery is more than ready for this match” Cyclone responds as Andrea tries to run to the loose golf club. Carnage quickly grabs her by the leg and holds her from reaching the club. Montgomery glances at Carnage and hits him with an Enzuiguri to break the hold. As Carnage is shaken she dives for the loose club.
“I’m sure Citizen Montgomery is more than ready for this match” Cyclone Comet states as Andrea gains possession of the loose putter. “I spoke with her earlier and she realizes she is an underdog in the match. That is something that does not sit well with her.”
A look of mock concern flashes across the face of Robert Riley.
“Andrea Montgomery is a veteran SWF wrestler. She has been in ten times the matches Carnage has” Comet responds with a hint of indignation in his voice.
“I don’t think she’s an underdog!” Riley exclaims in a facetious manner. “I’m sure Andrea will be able to deal with Carnages massive size advantage”
As Carnage struggles to shake off the aftereffects of Andreas earlier ball shot the challenger charges at her opponent with the club. Carnage greets her with a Big Boot to the face, as Andrea goes crashing to the mat.
“Or not…” Riley quips.
Carnage grabs Andrea by the hair and pulls her up. Andrea responds with several quick strikes to the champions midsection. As Carnage is surprised by the attack Andrea catches him with a Jawbreaker. The big man is staggered giving Montgomery a chance to fire a quick heel kick to his left knee. Carnage continues to wobble but like the mighty Weeble, will not go down. The challenger gets to her feet and hits a standing drop kick to her opponents chest.
“Citizen Montgomery is taking the action to the champion!” Cyclone Comet exclaims as the masked madman continues to avoid the knock down. The SWF resident Psycho staggers back and rests against the corner ring post. Andrea Montgomery nails the champion with a handspring phoenix splash in the corner which finally knocks Carnage to the mat.
“I don’t believe it!” Riley blurts. “Andrea Montgomery has knocked Carnage on his ass!”
The challenger fires a series of sharp kicks to Carnages chest as he struggles to get to his feet. The champion finally makes it to his feet as a look of rage is visable in his eyes. He nails the pesky Andrea with a blistering knife-edge which forces her into an immediate retreat.
Carnage steps out of the corner and grabs his opponent by the waist. He shoves her into the corner and nails her with an elbow smash to the head. The impact rattles Andrea, giving Carnage a moment to go to the center of the ring. Andrea quickly regains her bearings as Carnage fires a brutal clothesline at her.
WHIFF
Andrea ducks under the clothesline as carnage crashes into the corner turn buckle. The challenger quickly slips behind the champion and surprises him with a victory roll. The referee quickly dives to the mat to make the count
ONE
TWO
THR…No!
Carnage just barely kicks out.
“Near pin fall by the challenger!” Comet understates as Robert Riley shifts nervously in his seat.
“Montgomery got a little lucky there, but Carnage was not about to get pinned with a lame move like that”
As the champion struggles to get to his feet Andrea immediately surprises him with a Mahistrol Craddle Pin. The challenger makes full use of the ropes for leverage as the referee once again goes for the count.
ONE
TWO
TH…No!
Carnage once again kicks out.
“Incredible effort by Citizen Montgomery”, Comet gushes as Riley watches the action in shocked silence.
“She’s pesky…and all over the ropes!” Riley responds indifferently.
“It seems to me like Citizen Andrea is taking this rookie to school!”
Riley scoffs at the suggestion as he pauses for a moment to take a sip from his coffee.
“Well see about that”
Andrea Montgomery fires a quick eye poke to Carnage as he again struggles to get to his feet. He appears shocked by the move and rubs his eyes in pain. The challenger nails him with a quick DDT as the crowd goes wild.
DREA
DREA
DREA
Carnage instinctively rolls on his back in an effort to get back to his feet. Andrea capitalizes on the position and nails her fallen opponent with a Falling Star Bomb.
Once again she wraps Carnage up for the pin.
ONE
TWO
TWO AND A HALF
THRE…No!
Carnage once again kicks out of the last moment.
“Holy Cow Batman!” Cyclone Comet blares. “That was close!”
“Holy Shit Comet!” Robert Riley blares. “I am not Batman!”
A look of frustration is clearly evident on Andrea Montgomerys face as Carnage continues to escape her attack. As Carnage struggles to get to his feet Andrea attempts to clamp on a front face lock. The champion counters by nailing Montgomery with a jarring Spine buster. Andrea Montgomery is staggered by the move, giving Carnage ample opportunity to nail her with a blistering clothesline. The challenger crashes to the mat in a heap.
“and the tide begins to turn…” Riley exclaims with obvious pleasure in his voice.
“The match is far from over!” Comet replies as he nervously figits in his seat.
Carnage walks over to his fallen opponent and casually rests his foot on her chest. He raises his hands in the air in celebration as the referee dives to the mat to make the count.
ONE
TWO
No! Andrea kicks out.
“Sloppy cover by the champion!” Cyclone Comet blurts as Carnage glares at the challenger.
“He probably realizes that Andrea Montgomery has no business being in the ring with the Hardcore Gamers champion!” Riley replies with a hint of indignation in his voice. “ She should be at home vacuuming the house and baking cookies, and certainly not challenging for the Hardcore championship!”
Comet turns to his broadcasting partner and shakes his head in disbelief.
“There are those who say that Andrea Montgomery has been in more title matches than Carnage has been in matches.” Cyclone exclaims as Riley goes to work on his Nachos.
“There are those who say…outside of Austin Sly…Carnage has not beaten a single quality SWF opponent.” he continues as Riley listens on uninterestedly.
“Like they know what they’re talking about!”
Carnage shrugs his shoulders indifferently as he reaches down to grab the challenger by the hair. As he does so Andrea catches the Masked man in an inside cradle. Once again the referee dives to the mat to count the fall.
ONE
TWO
THR…No! Carnage kicks out!
Riley gags on his coffee as he watches Carnage shove Montgomery off of him. A look of shock is clearly visable in the champions eyes as he realizes Montgomery has come to fight.
“Once again Andrea Montgomery nearly pins Carnage!” Cyclone Comet reports as the masked man fires a thunderous clothesline at his opponent.
WHIFF
Andrea ducks under the clothesline and drops to the ground. In the process she extends her leg and does a quick leg sweep that sends Carnage down to the mat. The challenger springs to her feet and runs to the ropes, as she bounces off the ropes she goes into a foreward roll and catches Carnage with a jawbreaker just as he is rising to his feet.
DREA
DREA
DREA
“Andrea Montgomery will not be denied” Cyclone exclaims as the crowd cheers on the beloved challenger. “She has come here to fight tonight and she is taking it to the champion!”
Riley sits in silence as he watches Andrea go to the ropes.
LIONSAULT
CRASH
The crowd is silenced as Carnage raises his knees before Andrea lands. The challenger howls in pain as they drive into her gut. Andrea rolls to the mat in an effort to distance her self from the SWF resident psycho as he begins to get to his feet.
“Crash and burn” Riley mocks as Cyclone Comet looks on dejectedly.
Andrea scurries across the ring as Carnage gets to his feet. She finds the golf club resting on the mat and grabs it as the crowd cheers her on.
“It appears Citizen Montgomery has regained possession of the golf club!”
“She’s going to need it”, Riley replies as Andrea springs to her feet.
Carnage heads directly towards Montgomery, but stops dead in his tracks when he spots the club. The challenger glares at her opponent as she tightens her grip of the weapon.
“Come to Mamma you ugly bastard!” she yells as the crowd begins an anti-Carnage chant.
FREAK
FREAK
FREAK
Carnage backpeddles from Andrea and he puts his hands over his ears. The crowd continues to cheer on Andrea as Carnage leans against the corner turnbuckle. A look of panic is visable in the champions eyes as he realizes that Andrea has trapped him in the corner.
“It would appear that Tee time is a little late this afternoon” Cyclone Comet states in a weak effort at comedy. Robert Riley glances at his partner with a sour expression on his face.
“That was pathetic!”
Andrea Montgomery waves the golf club menacingly as Carnage attempts to find an escape route from his corner. The perpetually strange Andrea raises the club high over her head and waves it in a circular motion while screaming at the top of her lungs. Carnage, fearing the worst, raises his mammoth left arm to protect his head from the maniacal Andrea Montgomery as she slams the golf club hard into the side of the Champions head.
CRASH
“Merciful Zeus!” Comet exclaims as a explosion of tiny wooden splinters fly into the air by Carnages head. “It would appear that Carnages mask is made of a wooden substance!”
Riley signs in frustration as he shakes his head in disbelief.
“The only wooden substance in that ring is Andrea Montgomerys’ head.
As the cloud of wooden splinters settle to the ground Carnage is seem glaring at his opponent. The two wrestlers stand motionless for a moment of awkward silence. The champion slowly wipes the residue of hundreds of tiny wooden splinters from his T-shirt as Andrea stands in silence holding the remains of a shattered balsa-wood golf club.
“Balsa wood” Riley begins. “Great for toy airplanes, not so hot against 320 pound Psychopaths”
Andrea quickly fires a knife-edge at the champion. It seems to go unnoticed as he wraps his arms around Montgomery’s chest and nails her with a belly to back suplex. Andrea howls in pain at the impact and receives a falling head BUTT to her sternum in sympathy from her enraged opponent.
“I’m very surprised that citizen Montgomery would choose to enter a hardcore match with only a balsa wood golf club for a weapon!” Cyclone Comet understates as Robert Riley snickers at the challengers misfortune.
“That’s Andrea Montgomery for you.” Riley retorts as he takes a sip from his coffee. “As undeniably crazy as Carnage is, I think Andrea Montgomery is even more looney”
Carnage pulls the challenger to her feet and hoists her into the air. A look of panic flashes across Montgomerys’ face as Carnage military presses her into the air.
FREAK
FREAK
FREAK
Carnage walks to the ropes to align Montgomery’s neck with the top rope. As the crowd continues to scream at the SWF resident mad man he drops her to the mat. As Andrea heads to the canvas her neck bounces over the top rope and she convulses on the mat in agony.
“Holy Cow” Comet exclaims as Carnage stands over his fallen opponent.
“Look out for that top rope…it’s a doosey!” Riley mocks.
Carnage pulls Andrea to her feet then positions her in an apparent Abdominal stretch. He quickly changes his mind as he turns the move into a pump handle slam. The challenger appears out on her feet and does little to disrupt the champions’ plans.
CRASH
Carnage drives Andrea Montgomery to the mat with tremendous force. The ring shakes as Andrea bounces about six inches off the mat.
FREAK
FREAK
FREAK
Carnage jogs backward and bounces off the ropes. He does his best Hulk Hogan and drops a leg across the throat of the fallen Andrea Montgomery. She lies motionless on the mat as the champion covers her for the pin.
ONE
TWO
THR—NO!
Carnage pulls Andrea Montgomery up.
“What the?” Cyclone Comet questions in disbelief.
“Evidently Mr. Nut job here wasn’t satisfied with that”, Riley replies as Carnage once again pulls Andrea to her feet. The crowd continues to taunt the SWF resident psycho as he positions Andrea’s head between his knees. He effortlessly hoists her into the air in a
textbook Power Bomb position
KABLAAM!
Carnage drives Andrea once again to the mat. The ring once again shakes as Andrea continues her bouncing ways. Carnage runs to the ropes and rebounds off them as he drives an elbow smash into the heart of the obviously defenseless Andrea Montgomery.
“Absolutely brutal Power Bomb!” Cyclone Comet yells as Carnage wraps his opponent for the pin fall. The referee quickly falls to the mat and begins the count.
ONE
TWO
THRE….NO!
Once again Carnage pulls Andrea up to break the count.
“This is uncalled for” Comet understates as the crowd screams in unison at the mad man.
FREAK
FREAK
FREAK
“Oh well, what can I say?” mutters Robert Riley dismissively. “Bloodsport!”
Carnage pulls Andrea to her feet and hoists her into the air in one fluid motion. He quickly inverts her as Cyclone Comet turns his head to look away.
TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER!!
BOOOOO!!!!!
Carnage falls to his knees at the head of Andrea Montgomery and slowly folds her arms across her chest. The audience quiets as the referee moves in to count the pin.
ONE
TWO
TWO AND A HALF
“No…way is Andrea kicking out of this” Riley states quietly.
“THREE!!”
The referee raises the hand of the SWF Hardcore Champion as he slowly goes to her feet. He arrogantly rests his size 16 Triple E on the chest of the decimated Andrea Montgomery as the referee signals for the bell.
DING DING DING
Hundreds of flash bulbs flicker in the arena as Carnage stands over his opponent. Funyon quickly enters the ring as grabs for the microphone. Carnage glances down at Montgomery, and then calmly goes to his corner of the ring.
“The time of the match twenty two minutes and twelve seconds…the winner and STILL SWF Hardcore Gamers Champion…CAAARNAGGE!!!”
BOOOOOO!!!!
“Andrea put up a tremendous effort, but it would appear the cards were stacked against her this match” Cyclone offers as several SWF referees’ and other federation officials check on the status of the fallen superstar.
“She’s be fine” Riley responds sympathetically. “ She’ll go home to Scratch -Ass Mississippi, rest for a few days, deep-fry a couple of babies, then be as good as new!”
Carnage stops in his corner as glances at the broken balsa wood golf club. He reaches to the floor and picks up the remains and glares at them in silence.
“What is Carnage doing now?” asks Comet with great concern in his voice.
“Who knows?”, Riley replies. “I don’t think Carnage knows what he is doing from one minute to the next”
Outside the ring a group of security guards bring a gurney to the ring. The crowd falls to a dead quiet as they make their way to ringside and pass a navy-blue backboard under the bottom rope. Several medical personnel work on the unconscious Andrea Montgomery as Carnage quietly leaves the ring.
“I certainly hope that Citizen Montgomery is not seriously injured”, Cyclone Comet
States, his voice thick with concern.
“It would break my heart to see her hurt!” Riley responds with tremendous insincerity.
The people in the ring carefully pass Andrea under the bottom rope and to the gurney.
The medical personnel quickly roll out and secure the fallen SWF Superstar to the stretcher as the audience rises to their feet to get a better view. A little boy wipes tears from his eyes as he holds the dark-tinted shades that Andrea gave him prior to the match.
As medical personal begin to roll the gurney to the entrance ramp there is suddenly movement from Andrea. The crowd gives a round of applause as she raises her right hand in a “Thumbs up” pose.
CRASH
Carnage charges from out of nowhere and drives a shoulder into the gurney. The audience screams as medical people run from the area. The SWF resident psycho effortlessly flips the gurney over as a large contingent of security guards and SWF officials separate Carnage from Andrea.
“Holy Shit” Cyclone yells as Carnage walks away from the wreckage.
BOOOOOOO!!!
The Masked Madman heads to the steel ring stairs and calmly picks up the top portion.
He elevates it over his head as the crowd once again begins an anti-Carnage chorus
FREAK
FREAK
FREEEEEAAAAAKKK!!!
“God Lord he’s not going to do what I think he’s going to do!”
Carnage turns to see numerous security guards and SWF personnel standing between him and Andrea. As they block his path several orderlies quickly upright the gurney and head to the nearest exit. Carnage glares over at the terrified security force, and then tosses the chairs to the ground.
Cyclone Comet pauses to catch his breath as Carnage finally heads up the entrance ramp and out of the arena. He is followed by nearly a dozen security guards in the process.
“That was too close for comfort”, Cyclone states as he tries to straighten his match notes. “There is clearly something wrong with Citizen Carnage”
Riley chuckles as he takes another sip from his coffee.
“Did you just figure that out, Comet?” he asks in amazement. “That guy is as crazy as they come. He makes Hannibal Lecter look like Mr. Rogers!”
Cyclone just nods in silent agreement as SWF SMARKDOWN goes to commercial.
-
Comet: "Well Rober..."
Riley: "Comet, I can't be bothered to talk right now. Especially considering my contract is up for renewal and I'm being asked to take a PAYCUT, so you'll be talking to yourself if you continue."
Comet: "...tally ho. Let's send it back to Benjamin Hardy."
"Thank you guys." Hardy grins, in his overly happy manner. "I'm back here with Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix and Megan Skye..."
The camera pans away from Hardy and to the seated duo, which gets a pop from the fans in the arena.
"...SWF Women's Champion Kelly Connelly and SWF ICTV Champion Max King..."
The cheers turn to boos as Kelly and Max appear across the room, with a line of referees and various members of security standing between the two 'couples'. Still, the four cast the odd glare and sneer at each other as Hardy gets back into view.
"...and acting head honcho of the SWF, The Suicide King."
Suicide King can now be seen sat behind his desk, wearing a damp grey t-shirt...obviously fresh off of another training session. He glares past the camera as Hardy steps into view once more.
"Now, at Ash..."
"Kid." deadpans King, clearly unhappy. "Kid, get over here."
Interrupted in mid-flow and looking distinctly like a dear in headlights, Hardy does as he's told walks around the desk to King, who is still glaring at him.
"First off...if you call me 'head honcho' once more, then you and your hideous vocabulary are going to be dumped in the doll queue this time tommorrow. Now you just stand there and hold the mic steady, while trying not to look too stupid. As you were trying to say, Ashes II Ashes is closing in. I made the match between you Max and you Maddix a couple of weeks ago and when I did, I told you Max that you could pick any stipulation you wanted for the match."
Max smiles and nods as Maddix and Megan both sneer over at him.
"And by any stipulation, let me make clear I mean ANY stipulations. Money is no object. Complexity isn't an issue. And believe me, it can be as brutal as you wish to make it Max. The reason you're here though is that I need the contracts written up and ready to sign by tonight. Otherwise, I can't clear certain things. Which is why I'm going to need you to decide on the stipulation."
"Don't worry Mr King, we have made a decision." announces Kelly.
"Well, then in that case can we hear the decision?"
Just as Kelly goes to respond, Max coughs and motions for Kelly to lend him her ear. She does, as Max whispers something to her esteemed manageress. She nods, turning away from Max and to the other, older King.
"Well...actually Mr King, my client would like to keep the stipulation secret until the night of the show. You know, give the fans a surprise. A reason to order the show."
"A reason to stack the deck against me you mean." Maddix snaps from across the room.
"I don't need to stack the deck Maddix!" the ICTV Champion snaps back in kind. "It's already stacked when you're up against the Interconti..."
"Save it Max. We all know how you 'won' that be..."
"Gentlemen, please." King sighs. "A little order?"
Clearly not in the mood for dealing with any bickering, King waits for both Max and Maddix to sit back down into their seats that they had vacated during the arguement, before turning back to Kelly.
"Look, I can do without all this Kelly. I've got a lot on my mind, what with Hell In A Cell with Stevens and dealing with the rest of the roster. So, to save any arguements, you'd best tell us all the stipulation now. That way, I don't have this little runt pestering me all week trying to get me to tell him the stipulation."
Maddix takes exception to the 'little runt' crack and goes to stand up, only calmed by Megan Skye and a hand on the shoulder. Meanwhile Kelly and Max echange an awkward look, before Kelly shrugs and takes a piece of paper from her pocket, unfolding it and passing the paper to King. He scans the paper, smiling as he does so...which doesn't fill Maddix and Megan with too much confidence.
"Interesting...very interesting."
Again, Maddix and Megan are looking a little sceptical as the two Kings and the Queen are all smiling from ear to ear at the secret they hold. Casting his smile towards Maddix, King looks down at the paper once more before passing it to Benjamin Hardy.
"Here kid, earn your money and tell the people at home what it says."
Hardy nervously takes the paper, seeing Maddix and Megan leaning in eagerly in anticipation of the announcement, while King is complimenting Max and Kelly on their inventivenous.
"Okay...okay, well. It says here that the match will be called a "Royal Beating" Match. Uhm...well, there are No Disqualifications in the match. Infact, the match will be held within the confines of a fifteen foot high steel cage..."
"YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!"
Maddix's eyebrows rise as Max begins to guffaw away to himself.
"...in fact, it'll be a special cage. No door. And a roof. So, there will be no escapes once the two men are in the cage. In addition, once the cage is lowered...uhm, is this...is this right?"
"Of course it's 'right'!" snaps Kelly cattily.
"Uhm...well, it just seems a little..."
"Just read the damn paper and keep your opinions to yourself, would you?" King finally interjects, glaring at Hardy in a way that could kill, if looks could.
"Of...of course." stammers Hardy. "Once the cage is lowered, both men will be attached to a...leather strap. From there, the match progresses with pinfalls and submissions the only way to render a decision. And then, once a decision has been rendered, the winner of the fall has to touch all four turnbuckles of the ring in succession, 'without his momentum being disrupted'. If it is, the match will continue from stage one and will only end when one man has scored a pinfall or submission and then touched all four buckles in succession. Then, and only then...'will Max King retain his title'."
Max and Kelly chuckle, King joining in although considerably quieter. Speaking of quiet, Maddix and Megan are just that, as Maddix takes a deep sigh before standing up from his seat and looking over the shoulders of security to where Max and Kelly sit.
"Very good." Maddix sneers, looking in Kelly's direction.
"Thank you..."
"No, no. Thank YOU Max. Thank...YOU!"
Suddenly Maddix is smiling, as just as suddenly the smiles of Max, King and Kelly have all evaporated.
"I must say, I couldn't have come up with much better myself. I mean, not only do you put yourself in a cage with me, but it's a cage with a roof and no door? Bravo. Now there's no chance of you running away from me and there's no way your bitch can get involved in the match to help you. Oh, and even better...you can't even get away IN the cage, because you're voulenteering yourself to be attached to me with a leather strap. I must say King, I had you down as quite the pussy."
Max suddenly stands up too as security are readying themselves to prevent any attacks, while Maddix and Max glare at each other past the bodies.
"Seems I was wrong. Seems you actually have some guts, to put yourself in that position Either that, or you're just dumb enough to give me exactly what I want. Either way..."
"I'm gonna kick your ass Maddix!" yells King suddenly, trying to interrupt Maddix who shrugs it off.
"...either way, I could care less. The fact is...at Ashes II Ashes, you've set yourself up for one almighty fall my friend. There will be no controversy this time around. The only thing there will be to worry about once that cage raises back up and I unhook that strap from my wrist...the only thing to worry about then is whever I went too far or not. Whever I whipped you that one time too many. Whever I grated your flesh into that steel once more than I should have. And whever I just ruined a promising, exciting career. All because of what YOU set yourself up for."
"It won't happen that way Maddix, it won't. You don't stand a chance!"
"Oh, really. Well let's look at things this way Max...what have I got to lose? You're the 'champion'. It's your match. And you've laid me out plenty of times before this month. You have momentum on your side. And what do I have?"
"Nothing! You've got nothing Maddix!"
"That's right...I have nothing...except a burning, growing desire...to beat you within an inch of your life at Ashes II Ashes."
"Why wait Maddix? Why wait until Ashes II Ashes...when we can get it on...right now!"
Max is ready to go, ripping off his shirt and beckoning Maddix on...which prompts security into action, bunching together between the two men and preparing for action. All the while, Suicide King is yelling at them to keep Maddix and Max apart. But he needn't worry about that. He should worry about Kelly Connelly, who is creeping around the back of his desk with her Women's Championship in her hands. Megan Skye is meanwhile trying to hold her man back. Leaving her wide open...
*SMACK!*
...to a beltshot to the back of the head! Megan collapses instantly as Kelly motions for Max to 'come on' as she bolts for the door. Max quickly follows, picking up his belt on the way and running past Maddix, who is busily checking to see if Megan is okay.
"Oh...by the way, I forgot to mention..." Suicide King casually chuckles, leaving his desk.
Maddix, still concerned for Megan, hovers over her protectively as Suicide King saunters over and smiles down at the prone body laying on his office floor.
"...you'd better bring your ring attire to Ashes II Ashes, sweetcheeks. Because you're getting a shot at the Women's Championship. Good luck. Oh, and don't forget to shut the door on your way out kid."
King laughs and leaves the office with a spring in his step, as Maddix snarls for a moment...before continuing to check on Megan's condition.
-
The pretty blonde smiles sheepishly as she hands Bob Riley his order of cheese Nachos. The well known SWF announcer grumbles as he digs his over stuffed wallet from his jacket.
“That will be $4.99” she says as Riley fumbles through a wad of ATM receipts and discarded notes. He finally…and with great reluctance…pulls a fiver from the old, beaten wallet. The girl smiles politely as Riley glares at her for change. She hands him his penny as he huffs away with his Nachos.
Robert Riley glances over the crowds as they are beginning to return to their seats from intermission. He notices Cyclone Comet busily checking out his microphone at the announcers table and realizes he better get back to his seat. As Riley heads towards the announcers table he hears a familiar voice from his past.
“Could I have a little coke with this Ice?” an agitated voice blares from the distance. Riley glances at the complainer and is surprised to see someone he recognizes. He stands there with his mouth ajar as he glares at the man in the Pierre Cardon Tux…covering a Dallas Cowboys sweatshirt…arguing with the Burger King counter clerk.
FRISCO
“Well I’ll be damned!” Riley exclaims as Frisco takes his coke and turns to walk away. The infamous manager pauses momentarily when he recognizes Riley’s voice. He stops to take a sip from his soda as he turns to the announcer.
“Robert, good to see you” the petulant manager replies as the two men exchange pleasantries.
“What brings you to this neck of the woods?” Riley asks as Frisco glances at his watch.
“I was in town, thought it would be good to take in the card”
“What section are you seated at?”
A look of disdain flashes over Frisco’s face as he points towards a luxury Sky Box over looking the arena.
“You know me, I’m not about to be rubbing elbows with the 9 to 5ers”
Riley chuckles as he spots Candace Okimura walking over to the men. The Dragon looks beautiful in Guess Jeans and a white oversized sweatshirt. A smile comes to Riley’s face when he notes the writing on Candace’s’ shirt
BITCH-IBON
“I’m sure Onita will love that!” he says as the Dragon smiles innocently.
Once again Frisco glances at his watch as he appears pressed for time.
“Well Robert I must be going. I have some business to attend to”
Riley nods as Frisco begins to walk away with Candace.
“Frisco!” he calls as the self-proclaimed legend turns to face him.
“What kind of business?”
A wry smiles flashes over Frisco’s face as he houselights begin to dim.
“You’ll know soon enough”
SWF TUESDAY NIGHT SLAY RIDE CARD!
in Smarks Wrestling Federation
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Pshaw. John Williams leading the Boston Pops is such a vastly superior version of "Carol of the Bells" it's not even funny.
I fear you may have cut this PPV a little close with the date, even if it's giving extra time... if at all possible, I would've worked to avoid a PPV that was so much as in the same week as Christmas.
-Z