devo

Thank you, Al. Edit: Er, and Marvin. Sorry.

Figure this is as good a place as any to ask this...could someone tell me what the following mean? OPS OPS+ ERA+ WARP2 I only ask because I get kinda confused when I'm reading baseball blogs and see the above pop up. If there's any other obscure stat categories I should know that aren't listed here, please let me know. =)

It's a sort of baked good. It is designed to go with tea, so you've got most of the description right already.

Would you like a crumpet? I WOULD, BECAUSE I'M WINSTON CHURCHILL!

Great, now I'M confused.

I'm pretty sure he was being sarcastic too.

Well, the Mets only split the series with the Braves, but on the plus side, the Nationals lost three out of four to the Brewers. The Nationals are who the Mets'll be chasing for the Wild Card in about a week anyway.

The original Mortal Kombat was alright. Annihilation was absolute garbage, though.

Holy damn. ... Well, best of luck to Al. I can't imagine pitching for the Yankees will help him any, though.

Welcome. I hope you enjoy your time here.

It only produces that much discussion because ESPN and the media in general won't stop shoving it down our throats.

Real cool opening promo. Landon's motivations are dead-on and completely believable, and, not to sound arrogant, remind me a lot of when I turned on CIA way back when. When Maddix and Cortez finally meet, it'll be fantastic. Aw man, King just dogs on Pete throughout Zyon's entire match, heh. I can't say I was thrilled with the match's stip when I first saw it, but now that I read the match it produced, I'm reasonably pleased. Cool reversal out of the Dragon Sleeper. Ahahaha. Excellent. Great match from Todd. The "tossing a hooker at Ghost as distraction" spot was really funny. Inventive use of the penis fountain, as well; I didn't imagine anyone would be using it to de-immolate themselves. Cortez sends a message by just choking out Ghost Machine, and again, I can't wait for the Maddix/Cortez contest. ELM's pissed. Read all about it. Nice surprise attack from Manson to open the match. That's the way you do it; catch your opponent off guard before your music announces you. "Whore bat" is fantastic. I love the spot with Manson drinking half of several bottles and then throwing them at Johnson. Oooo. WC and Mel get all mushy. Ejiro's gonna be pissed. I'd almost say that she's just leading him on, but I'm not sure. Either way it's probably gonna lead to WC/Ejiro again, which is always good. Oh shit, the psych handshake. That'd piss anyone off, and it did the trick with WC. The first five hundred words of the match are just dominated by onomatopoeia, heh. Very cool bit with Francis' conscience and the crowd forcing him to drop the Kendo stick, which speaks worlds about his character. Melissa's interference throughout the match was very well written; never overbearing or distracting, but the reader is constantly reminded that she's there, and as it turns out, she plays an imperative part in Wildchild's victory. Toxxic's character grows deeper and more interesting with each show, I swear. His character's decision to focus on Pretzler and defy Flesher makes a lot of sense, and he makes a good point in realizing that even a Best of Five won't settle things between him and Pretzler. I'm anxious to see where all this ends up. Nice entrance for Maddix; I didn't even think about the match being a Spain vs. Mexico thing. The bit with the dueling flags was pretty funny as well. The psychology is fantastic. Not only does Maddix constantly outspeed Magnifico, but he does so with traditional luchadore moves, which has gotta be a mindfuck for ELM. Very cool finish. Landon writes Montezuma's Revenge better than I ever have, heh. The crowd interaction is extremely well written in the Toxxic/Pretzler match. It makes sense that there'd only be a few people there who understand what's going on, and that the hookers just want Toxxic's dick/money. The Back Drop to the outside spot was sick. That as much as anything else shows Toxxic's frustration with Pretzler. Cool spot with Scott taking a constiutional and Toxxic just heaving the chair out of the ring at him. Awesome ending. Intoxxication on the apron? Inventive, creative, and stiff as hell.

Damn. Well, my lack of experience in Hardcore Matches had me struggling to think of spots, and I admit I got kinda ridiculous with the flag nonsense. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- SWF Storm returns from commercial, beginning with a soothing shot of the announce team of Longdogger Pete and The Suicide King. LDP smiles warmly into the camera, while King is looking out over the small crowd, grinning like an idiot. “And welcome back to SWF Storm, everyone!” LDP begins. “You’re seeing us right now because, well, we can’t exactly show the crowd at this point. As you know, the Cassa Rosso is home to some of the most famous sex shows in the world. As such, many of our audience members tonight are employees of the Cassa Rosso. And...to put it one way, these women are still ready to perform.” “This is the greatest night of my life.” King absentmindedly adds, still staring at the multitude of bare-breasted women in the audience. LDP rolls his eyes before continuing. “Anyway, we’re now asking the women to cover themselves up a bit, so we can continue this broadcast.” As he speaks, the show cuts to a shot of the Rosso’s employees being told by SWF road agents to put some clothes in. A few arguments ensue, but eventually, every woman in the audience is decent. “Awwwwwwwwwwwww!” King cries, heartbroken. “Goodbye, breasts.” As King mourns, the crowd of sixty or so mumurs amongst themselves, wondering why there isn’t a naked woman on the stage right now. Their question is somewhat answered when an all-too-familiar phrase is shouted over the PA system. “PREPARE...FOR...LANDON!!” ...WAAAAAAAAAAAAHH... *DUM DUM* The post-riff part of "Megalomaniac" by Incubus hits, as Landon Maddix begins striding down the makeshift entrance ramp that splits the crowd. The audience looks on with indifference as Maddix slowly makes his way to the ring in front of the crowd. “The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and uses Hardcore Rules!” Funyon bellows from the center of the ring, unnecessarily using a microphone. “Introducing first, from Huron, South Dakota, weighing in at two hundred and twenty-two pounds...LAAAAAAAAAAANDOOOOOON MAAAAAAAAAAAAAADIIIIIIIIIX!” Somewhat perplexed at not being booed or really receiving any reaction at all, Landon leaps up to the apron and looks out at the crowd. Landon holds his arms out to the sides before leaping over the top and entering the ring, where he removes his jacket and hands it to the referee. Thinking that the stripping has recommenced, the small crowd begins to cheer, which only confuses Maddix further. “Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to book the show in a locale that holds sixty people who are expecting a sex show.” LDP comments, observing the crowd’s lack of a reaction to Maddix. “Well, on the plus side, we don’t have to go anywhere for post-show entertainment.” King happily counters. “In the meantime, can’t we get some of the women to take their tops back off?” “UNO!” “DOS!” ‘TRES!” “CUATRO!” A Mexican voice suddenly shouts the above numbers over the PA, doing so without pyro so as to avoid a Great White-esque incident. As Bunch of Believers’ “Mission Trip to Mexico” hits the speakers, Magnifico treads down the entrance ramp, his Mexican flag billowing gracefully behind him. “And now, from Mexico City, Mexico, weighing in at two hundred and ten pounds...” Funyon takes a breath, “EL LUCHADOOOOOOOOORE MAGNIFICOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” ELM reaches the ring and rolls beneath its bottom rope. He pops to his feet within the ring and heads over to the ref, handing him his Mexican Flag and foregoing the usual pre-match ceremony. Magnifico then heads to the corner opposite Maddix and executes a few cursory stretches, while Landon keeps his eyes on him at all times. “Magnifico seems much more determined than usual.” LDP announces. “I guess that’s to be expected after three tough losses in a row and suffering a humiliating concussion at the hands of Danny Williams.” “Or it could be that the Mexican has finally grown past that ridiculous showboating and is ready to act like a real wrestler.” King counters. “’Course, there’s also the fact that no one here seems to care yet about what either of these guys do.” Seeing that both men are ready to compete, the ref turns to the timekeeper and signals for the bell. DING DING DING Upon hearing the bell, both men immediately finish their pre-match preperations and begin to circle one another around the ring. Maddix and Magnifico slowly get closer and closer to one another and to the center of the ring, doing so while the crowd looks on in a combination of curiousity and indifference. Suddenly, both Landon and ELM lunge at each other, locking up in the middle of the squared circle. After a brief struggle, Magnifico spins behind Landon and gains control with a Rear Waistlock. ELM attempts to lift Maddix into the air, but Landon hooks his leg around Magnifico’s to prevent such a move. Maddix then throws an elbow backwards and into ELM’s face, stunning the luchadore enough for Landon to break free of the hold and dash across the ring. Maddix bounces off of the ropes on the other side of the ring and charges back towards Magnifico, and as he approaches, ELM leaps into the air and extends his legs, looking to wrap them around Landon’s head for a Hurricanrana! However, he leaps just a second too early, as Maddix has time to leap into the air and kick his legs out, slamming them into Magnifico’s gut with a Running Dropkick! ELM is knocked backwards and through the air, landing against the ropes behind him. As Magnifico doubles over and struggles to catch his breath, the crowd begins to stir a little bit, impressed despite themselves at Maddix’s lightning-quick Running Dropkick. “Beautiful Running Dropkick from Landon, which perfectly countered Magnifico’s Hurricanrana attempt!” LDP reports. “Extremely well done.” King adds. “That’s what the Mexican gets for attempting ridiculous flip-flopping in a Hardcore match.” “Because the Running Dropkick is such a bastion of the Hardcore style.” Pete sarcastically replies. Maddix pops back to his feet after landing the Dropkick and walks up to Magnifico, who’s still leaning against the ropes, struggling for breath. Landon grabs ELM by the arm and pulls him forward, before using his grip to whip Magnifico across the ring. ELM rushes across the ring, bounces off of the ropes, and charges back towards Maddix, who responds by lashing out with a quick Forearm Strike! However, Magnifico ducks under Landon’s arm and quickly spins behind him, capturing Maddix in a Rear Waistlock as he does so! Before Maddix has a chance to resist, ELM hoists him into the air, falls backwards, and throws Landon over his head, slamming the back of his neck and head into the canvas with a German Suplex! The first semblances of cheering begin to rise from the crowd as Maddix curls up and cradles his neck in pain. Meanwhile, Magnifico pops back to his feet, his gut still aching a bit and his lungs still struggling for air. “ELM learned from his last attempt at a German Suplex and hit it before Landon had a chance to fight it.” LDP notes. “That’s something he’s going to have to do throughout the match, since Maddix is just as fast if not faster than Magnifico.” “Like it matters.” King counters. “Remember the stipulation. As soon as Maddix gets the Mexican outside the ring and a table set up, this match is over.” Maddix begins clawing his way to his feet, but Magnifico grabs him by the arm and graciously helps him get there. Once Landon’s on his feet, ELM rears his arm back, drives it forward, and... CHOP! *SMACK* Reeling, Maddix grabs his chest and turns away from the luchadore, who’s perplexed by the lack of a WHOOOO! Shrugging his shoulders, ELM grabs Landon and turns him back around, before driving his arm forward again and slicing it into Maddix’s chest! CHOP! *SMACK* Landon turns away from ELM once more and collapses chest first against the nearby corner. Magnifico follows after him, grabs Landon by the shoulder, and turns him around once more. However, as Maddix is turned, he suddenly drives two extended fingers forward and into ELM’s eyes! Magnifico cries out in surprise and mostly pain, turning away from Landon and stumbling across the ring as a few boos rise from the audience. The ref gets on Maddix’s case, but Landon rightly ignores him, knowing that the ref can’t do a damn thing about eye pokes. “Oh yeah, I forgot about the nonstop cheating.” LDP suddenly remembers. “If Maddix does it in normal matches, imagine how underhanded he’s going to be during a Hardcore contest.” “God, I’m proud of him.” King suddenly declares, getting all teary-eyed. “He’s a terrific representative of the greatest style in the world; Cowardly Memphis!” Landon pushes himself out of the corner and follows Magnifico, who’s disoriented to say the least. Suddenly, Maddix throws a knee forward and into ELM’s lower back, causing the luchadore to shout out in agony and arch his spine backwards. Landon then wraps his arm around Magnifico’s neck, trapping him in a Reverse Headlock...before pulling him downward and jutting his own knee out, slamming ELM’s back into it with a Reverse Headlock Backbreaker! Landon releases Magnifico, allowing him to fall to the mat, right before turning the luchadore onto his back and covering him. The ref slides into position and begins counting while Maddix hooks his leg. ONE! TWO! No! ELM kicks out right after the two count, drawing a few cheers from the audience, who are slowly but surely catching on to the face/heel roles of this match. “Maddix makes exquisite use of the Eye Poke/Knee to the Back combo, as he hits the Mexican with The Bottom Drops Out!” King happily reports. “And all this before we even get to the Hardcore part!” Undeterred by the lack of a pinfall, Landon grabs Magnifico’s arm and stands up, pulling ELM to his feet as he does so. Maddix then uses his grip to try and whip Magnifico across the ring, only to have the luchadore reverse it. Landon is sent charging towards the far corner, which he crashes into back-first. Even before Maddix hits the turnbuckles, Magnifico is charging after him. As ELM approaches, though, Landon throws a boot into the air, slamming it into the rushing luchadore’s face! Magnifico immediately puts his hands over his nose and stumbles away from Maddix, giving him the chance to hop up onto the second turnbuckle behind him. ELM spins back to face Landon, which is his cue to leap off of the turnbuckle, flying at Magnifico with his arm extended for a Flying Forearm! ELM skids to a halt in attempt to dodge out of the way, but it’s too little too late, as Maddix slams his arm into Magnifico’s neck, knocking him to the ground! Landon lands right next to him, and as soon as he hits the mat, Maddix rolls onto the luchadore and covers him. Landon hooks the leg as the ref slides into position and begins counting. ONE! TWO! No! ELM easily escapes after two. “Flying Forearm from Maddix!” LDP cries. “And even though Magnifico manages to kick out, Landon is constantly catching him off guard. If he keeps it up, he’ll eventually wear the luchadore down.” “Sooner rather than later, with any luck.” King adds, putting on his comically small reading glasses. “I’ve been told that we’ll be treated to a brief complimentary strip show by the World Famous Cassa Rosso Call Girls after the match. Cookies and punch will be served.” Maddix rolls off of the luchadore, pops to his feet, and immediately begins stomping away at Magnifico as he struggles to stand. Despite the nonstop kicks to the back and shoulders from Landon, ELM eventually manages to get to his hands and knees. When he does, Maddix reaches down, grabs Magnifico by the hair, and then scrapes the sole of his boot across ELM’s face! Realizing what a dick move that is, the small but getting-more-spirited-by-the-second crowd boos and shouts at Landon, doing so as Magnifico falls back to the mat, his hands covering his face. Grinning to himself, Maddix grabs ELM by the hair once more and painfully pulls the luchadore to his feet, before throwing him back into the nearby corner. With Magnifico lying prone against the turnbuckles, Landon rears back and delivers a stiff Forearm to ELM’s chin, knocking his head back like the top of Pez dispenser! With Magnifico dazed, Landon rears back and strikes him once more, throughly shocking ELM with his stupifying strikes. Seeing that Magnifico is properly incapacitated, Maddix grabs ELM, hoists him into the air, and sits him on the top turnbuckles. Landon then puts Magnifico’s legs behind the top rope before climbing after the luchadore, drawing a few anticipatory boos from the capacity crowd as he does so. “Looks like Landon is ready to finish this match.” LDP speculates. “He’s not known for his strength, so it’s rare that we see him try any sort of top rope Suplex.” “And that’s exactly why whatever Maddix has planned is going to be particularly devastating.” King adds. “He wouldn’t take this big a risk unless he had something deadly up his sleeve.” Once Landon is on the top rope, he pulls Magnifico into a Front Facelock and slowly pulls him to his feet, careful to make sure both he and ELM keep their balance. He then grabs ELM by the tights and lifts... And lifts... And lifts... ...after a few tries, Maddix, confused as to why the hell ELM isn’t a convulsing heap yet, looks down and sees that Magnifico’s leg wrapped around his own! The luchadore takes advantage of this momentary confusion and uses his free leg to slam a knee into Landon’s gut! Maddix is nearly driven off of the top turnbuckle, but Magnifico manages to grab him and prevent Landon from falling to the canvas. The fans immediately surrounding the ring lean forward in their folding chairs as ELM struggles to keep him and Maddix on the top turnbuckle. As soon as they’re both steady, Magnifico hoists Landon into the air as if for a Scoop Slam, then suddenly turns and throws him over the top rope!! The fans in Maddix’s direct flight path hastily scatter out of the way, leaving Landon to crash through a field of steel chairs and then into the hard, unforgiving ground! The audience suddenly comes to life, rising to their feet as they release an impressed OHHHH! Meanwhile, Magnifico totters on the top turnbuckle, barely staying on it as he looks out at Maddix, who lays motionless amongst the strewn steel furniture. “Holy God!” Pete cries, understandably surprised. “Magnifico just hurled Landon over the top rope and to the outside, where he crashed into the makeshift seating area around the ring!” “Dammit.” King grumbles. “Now we have to wait longer for breasts.” ELM eventually regains his balance on the top turnbuckle, and having done so, slowly stands up on it. He looks out over the outside for a moment, where Landon lies face-up, motionless save for the rhythmic heaving of his chest. Suddenly and without and warning, Magnifico leaps off of the top turnbuckle and at Maddix, straightening his body in mid-air for a Frogsplash! The crowd, who suddenly have a vested interest in this match cheer happily as ELM makes perfect contact with the Splash, his body crashing directly into Maddix’s gut! Magnifico bounces off of Landon and onto the ground, clutching his gut as he does so. The audience applauds appreciatively as ELM rolls around on the outside, too distracted with the pain flowing through his gut to make the cover. “Whoa! ELM follows up with a Top Rope Frogsplash to the outside!” Pete excitedly reports. “Executed perfectly! We’ve seen Magnifico shy away from the aerial moves since his return, but it looks like he’ll do anything to pick up a win here.” The ref rolls to the outside, making sure to follow the action as ELM begins to gather his thoughts and determination. Slowly but surely, he forgets about the pain and crawls over to Maddix, who’s still motionless. Finally, Magnifico throws his body onto Landon’s, making the cover to the delight of the audience! The ref drops to his knees and makes the count as the luchadore limply lays on Maddix’s chest. ONE! TWO! THRRRRRNOOOO!! Maddix gets a shoulder up JUST before the three count, enciting a disappointed OHHHH! from the small but excited crowd. “No! No!” Pete cries. “Landon displays his well-known resilience and kicks out of Magnifico’s Frogsplash!” ELM rolls off of Landon and onto a pile of chairs, scowling and gritting his teeth as he does so. Magnifico slowly pushes himself to his feet, having hurt himself considerably with that Splash as well. After a moment, ELM stands, doing so as Maddix begins to stir. Magnifico looks down on him for a second, wondering what to do next, before catching sight of the pile of chairs he just pushed himself off of. Breathing heavily, ELM thinks for a second before reaching down, grabbing Maddix by the arm, and helping him the rest of the way to his feet. Once Landon is standing, Magnifico throws a sloppy knee forward and into Maddix’s gut, which doubles him over and easily allows ELM to pull him into a Standing Head-Scissors. Magnifico then hooks both of Landon’s arms and takes a step backwards, so that he’s standing on the pile of chairs and Maddix is looking right down on them! “It looks like ELM is going to try and land the Cancun Crunch on that pile of chairs!” LDP speculates. “If anything’ll keep Landon down for the three count, this is it!” “How deliciously deadly!” King declares. “The Mexican might actually do something impressive for once!” ELM takes a moment, gathering up the strength to lift Landon and hit the Underhook Brainbuster. However, his rest is a second too long, as Maddix suddenly breaks an arm free, falls to his knees, and then drives said arm upwards, slamming it into Magnifico’s groin! A collective wince rises from the male portion of the audience as ELM immediately doubles over and stumbles away from Landon, feeling nothing but the intense agony shooting through every part of his body. Meanwhile, Landon gets back to his feet, a hand on his gut as he’s still feeling the effects of the Frogsplash. Once he’s standing, Maddix grabs the stumbling luchadore by the back of his head, pulls him back a few steps...and then suddenly sits out and yanks ELM downwards, sitting out as he does so! *CLANG* “OHHHHHHHH!!” Maddix drives the back of Magnifico’s head into the pile of chairs with the So-Dak Moment! ELM twists his body and cradles his skull as Maddix sits over him, wincing with each deep breath that he takes. “So-Dak Moment on the pile of chairs!” LDP shouts. “Considering the injury Magnifico suffered during his match with Danny, that might be enough to get the pin!” “Hell, it’d be enough anyway.” King counters. “It’s a little known fact that the Mexican’s skull is as thin as peanut britle. His brain is like a pincushion for bone shrapnel at this point, I’d imagine.” King’s dramatizing aside, Magnifico looks to be in pretty bad shape as he lies motionless amongst the field of strewn furniture. After a moment, Landon grits his teeth, leans forward, and drapes his body over Magnifico’s, covering the luchadore to the displeasure of the crowd. The ref falls to his knees and begins counting as Maddix slowly and painfully hooks the leg. ONE! TWO! THRRRRRRRRNOOOOOO!! ELM gets a shoulder up right before the three count, drawing a relieved pop from the cheerful crowd! Maddix pushes himself off of Magnifico, glares coldly at the referee, and accosts him for not making the three count. Unintimidated, the ref holds up two fingers, spurring Landon to flip him off as he begins pushing his way back to his feet. “No! Magnifico manages to get a shoulder up, and Landon is NOT pleased!” LDP declares. “I can only imagine what he’ll now resort to to get a pinfall on the luchadore!” His question is soon as answered as Landon, once on his feet, throws up the curtain blocking the underneath of the ring. Maddix searches beneath the squared circle for a moment...before pulling ol’ reliable, the card table! Landon slowly drags the fatal furniture from beneath the ring before efficently setting up, obviously experienced in the ways of putting up folding tables. Once the table is upright, Landon grabs Magnifico, who’s just begin to stir, jerks him to his feet, and then rolls ELM onto the table. Maddix then delivers a few quick Forearms to the laid-out luchadore, making sure he is properly stunned before clilmbing up on the table itself. Landon carefully stands in the flimsy wood before even-more-carefully grabbing Magnifico by the hair and pulling him to his feet. The table creaks and bends slightly under the weight, but stays up, even when Maddix pulls ELM into a Reverse Facelock. “Landon’s going for a Landon Eye through the table and to the floor!” Pete cries. “I can’t imagine Magnifico has a chance in hell of kicking out of this!” “Damn straight! He SHOULD have been out cold after the So-Dak Moment into the chairs, but at least it led to what’s sure to be tons more pain and suffering for the Mexican.” King adds. Landon holds Magnifico in that position for a second, making sure that the table is steady before continuing. Finally, Maddix spins around, ready to slam ELM’s skull into the table with the Landon Eye... *CRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAACK!!* “OHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” In mid-spin, the table suddenly snaps in half, sending both men tumbling to the ground as the surprised crowd cries out in disbelief! Magnifico and Landon both hit the floor hard, laying mere inches from each other between the splintered halves of the wooden table. “Holy...the table split beneath Landon and Magnifico as Maddix was going for the Landon Eye!” LDP reports. “Bad stroke of luck for Maddix, who’s now in the same exact position as ELM; namely, stunned and in pain and lying prone on the floor.” Neither Magnifico nor Maddix move a muscle for several seconds, each man struggling to overcome the haze that accompanies such a nasty unexpected fall. Meanwhile, a chant rises out of the small but now-really-into-it crowd. “E-L-M! E-L-M! E-L-M!” As if cued by the chanting, Magnifico stirs and slowly begins pushing himself to his feet, doing so as Landon begins climbing to his only a couple of feet away. Having taken less damage over the course of the match, Maddix rises more quickly than the luchadore, reaching his feet as Magnifico gets to his hands on knees. As Landon stands, he stumbles forward and into the ring, whose apron he leans against as he struggles to keep on his feet. His entire body aching and his lungs struggling to get oxygen into his body, Maddix takes a much-needed rest as he stares coldly at ELM, who is making a desperate lunge to his feet. Magnifico barely manages to stand, but the second he does so, Landon pushes himself off of the apron and delivers a sharp kick to ELM’s gut, immediately dropping him back down to one knee. A determined scowl on his face, Maddix grabs Magnifico by the hair, pulls him back to his feet, and then uses his grip to pull ELM into a ¾ Bulldog Facelock! Wasting no time, Landon then charges towards the ring apron, puts a foot onto it, and then leaps backwards off of it, looking to land the Codebreaker! However, as he begins to flip, ELM suddenly reaches up and grabs Landon by the tights and arm, twists him around in mid-air, and in one fluid motion, sits out and drives Maddix’s back into the ground with ridiculous force! The fans released an impressed OHHHH!! as Landon cries out in pain and flops to the ground, his spine punished by a sloppy but effective La Bomba Fantastica! “Good lord, what a reversal!” Pete cries, excited despite himself. “Magnifico yoinks Maddix out of mid-air and just slams him into the ground with La Bomba Fantastica! Amazing counter!” “Psh, gimme a break.” King replies, waving his hand dismissively. “It’s obvious to me that Maddix allowed the Mexican to make that reversal, just so ELM would feel better about himself. That’s just the kind of guy he is.” “I HIGHLY doubt that, considering that not five minutes ago, Landon went out of his way to try and crush Magnifico’s testicles.” LDP sharply counters. ELM flopped to the ground as well right after landing the Powerbomb, still trying to shake off the effects of the damage he’s taken over the course of the match. After a few seconds, Magnifico grits his teeth and slowly pushes himself to his hands and knees, which is only a quick rest stop before he lunges to his feet. ELM staggers forward as he gets to his feet, coming to a rest against the timekeeper’s table. Coincidentally, that’s exactly where his Mexican flag is being held. Magnifico catches sight of said flag, grabs it, and then heads over to Landon, who lies face-down and motionless on the ground. ELM holds the flag in his hands for a moment, looking it over for a second as if a knight admiring his sword. He then casts his eyes down towards Maddix, doing so while pulling the flag high above his head, like a pickaxe. Suddenly, ELM drives the pole downwards and across Maddix’s shoulders! *THWACK!* *THWACK!* *THWACK!* *THWACK!* *THWACK!* ELM lands five solid blows with the flagpole, his expression growing fiercer and angrier with each strike! Landon unashamedly cries out in pain with each strike and turns onto his back after the last one, unable to take any more damage on his shoulders, which flare with unspeakable agony. But when Maddix turns onto his back, Magnifico suddenly stomps a boot onto his arm, keeping it in place as he pulls the flag above his head once more! But this time, his grip is different...his hands are wrapped around the middle of the pole, and the sharp tip is pointed downwards and at Maddix’s trapped hand. “Oh my God...oh God.” Pete whispers, disbelieving. “Mags...Mags, don’t do it...” Many of the audience members cover their mouths and look on with morbid curiosity as Magnifico stands over Landon, the flag still hanging menacingly over his head. His teeth gritted and his face a mask of unspeakable frustration, Magnifico stares down at Landon, who’s dazed and unsure as to what is going on. Slowly, he looks up and locks eyes with Magnifico, right before noticing the sharpened metal tip of the Mexican flag, which is still aimed directly at his trapped palm. Instantly, Landon’s expression changes to one of wordless fear, as his pleading eyes bore into Magnifico’s, begging the luchadore not to do what he’s thinking about doing. When ELM sees Landon’s expression, his gaze softens, and the flag is lowered just a little bit. Upon seeing that, Maddix’s expression quickly turns into a grin that says, “Hahaha. Sucker.” Landon yanks his arm out from beneath Magnifico’s leg and immediately drives it upwards, delivering yet another Low Blow to the intense displeasure of the audience! ELM immediately doubles over, allowing Maddix to sit up and grab Magnifico by the head and leg, right before using that grip to pull him down and pin him to the ground with a quick Rollup! The ref immediately falls to his knees and begins counting, doing so as the surprised luchadore struggles to escape. ONE! TWO! THRRRRNOOOOOO!! Magnifico breaks free of the Rollup just before the three count, drawing a wave of relieved cheers from the audience. “Thank God.” LDP sighs, relieved. “For a moment there, it looked like...like...” “Oh, you can say it!” King snaps, annoyed. “He was going to drive that shiv on the end of his flagpole through Landon’s hand! And you’re acting like the Mexican’s suddenly above such acts!” “He IS.” Pete firmly declares. “The Magnifico who did that at Genesis II is not the Magnifico we’re seeing before us tonight.” “Bullshit.” King angrily counters. “Beneath that goody-goody fan-pleasing act is the low-down scumbag who’d stab you as soon as look at you.” LDP and King argue like this for quite a while, doing so while ELM and Maddix scramble to their feet as quickly as possible, each trying to stand before the other can. As it is, Landon reaches his first, which gives him time to grab Magnifico by the hair and arm and throw him beneath the bottom rope and into the ring. Maddix dives in after him, popping to his feet inside the ring as ELM climbs back to his. The second Magnifico is on his feet, Landon, facing the corner, pulls ELM into a Bulldog Facelock! Once Magnifico is secured in the hold, Maddix runs at and up the corner, and then pushes himself off of the top turnbuckle and flips backwards over ELM! But the second Landon’s pependicular to Magnifico and the mat, ELM jerks his head free from Maddix’s grip, at the same time reaching up and hooking both of his opponent’s arms! Because of this, Landon ends up landing on his feet behind and facing away from Magnifico, his arms hooked as if for a Backslide! Wasting no time, ELM immediately makes a break for the corner, looking to reverse the Codebreaker into the Baja California Crusher! “No! Landon made the mistake of going for the Codebreaker again, and Magnifico’s going to counter it into the Baja California Crusher!” LDP reports, excited despite himself. “Uh huh. Give Landon just a second...” King patiently replies. King turns out to be surprisingly prophetic, as Landon begins running backwards with the luchadore, surprising Magnifico and driving him chest first into the corner before he has a chance to stop himself! Landon immediately breaks his arms free of the hold and spins to face the luchadore, lying in wait as Magnifico stumbles backwards out of the corner. Slowly but surely, ELM turns to face Landon...and immediately has an arm put across his chest and his leg hooked, as if for a Downward Spiral! Maddix then quickly maneuvers Magnifico into an STO position...before suddenly and expectedly whipping his own body backwards, slamming ELM’s face into the canvas with the Crash Landon ’05!! ELM flops lifelessly to the mat, lying motionless and face-down on the canvas as the audience alternates between OHHHH!ing in admiration for the move and booing Maddix for it. “Crash Landon ’05! Yeah!” King giddily cries. “Maddix pulls out one of the strongest moves in his arsenal to put away the luchadore!” However, Magnifico isn’t quite put away yet, as Landon is struggling to summon up the determination to roll ELM over and pin him. After taking a second to catch his breath, Maddix pushes himself off of the mat and crawls over to Magnifico, before grabbing ELM’s shoulder and turning him onto his back! A second later, Landon collapses on Magnifico, unceremoniously making the pin as a fresh wave of boos pours in from the crowd. The ref drops to his knees and makes the count, doing so as a drained Maddix lays motionless on Magnifico. ONE! TWO! THRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! The ref pops to his feet and signals for the bell, which struggles to be heard over the spirited booing of sixty perverts. “Your winner, by pinfall...” Funyon begins, “LAAAAAAAAAAAANDOOOOOOOOOOON MAAAAAAAAAAAAAADIIIIIIIIIIXX!! As Funyon is announcing his victory, Maddix rolls off of Magnifico and begins pushing himself to his feet, a triumphant yet devious grin painted across his face. Once he stands, he makes a point of having his arm raised by the referee, which only renews the crowd’s hatred of him. “Maddix gets the pinfall!” LDP reports, trying to hide his disappointment. “Landon’s Codebreaker was reversed into the Baja California Crusher, which Maddix reversed into the Crash Landon ’05! It didn’t look like Magnifico even had a chance to counter.” “No sir.” King adds, grinning like an idiot. “The Mexican couldn’t comprehend that his counter was countered, and Landon took full advantage of it.” Landon pauses his celebration to look back at Magnifico, who’s struggling onto his hands and knees. The full realization of what just happened coming to him, ELM slaps the mat in frustration, incensed that he let another win escape his grasp. Maddix watches Magnifico for a second, looking strangely throughftul...before just shaking his head in disappointment and exiting the ring, finding the luchadore not worth dealing with for another moment. “Well, stick around folks.” Pete finally says, his tone evening out. “Coming up next is our Main Event, where Scott Pretzler and Toxxic will take each other on in a Hardcore Match!” The final image shown before the shot fades to darkness is El Luchadore Magnifico, still on his hands and knees as his face twists into a mask of unspeakable rage...

Actually, me and Wildchild wanted to have our rematch on this Lockdown, if possible. I'm sorry I didn't make that clear.

I hope not. That's where my promo went too.

Agreed. The Mets have been one of the least clutch teams in the Majors this year, and tonight was no different. Then again, the Braves missed out on quite a few chances to score as well. The game came down to which team got the unlucky break first.

Mets lose to a bad hop. God am I pissed.

Mega agreed. Hell, forget Willy Wonka; just watch Wilder in Young Frankenstein or Blazing Saddles and then try and tell me that Depp's more fun to watch. Anyway, I love the '74 version despite it straying from the source material (and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is one of my favorite books ever). I'll probably go see this one this weekend.

Great game at Shea tonight. Beltran goes 4-4, Wright 2-3 with three runs, and Piazza hits a three-run homer in the eighth that wins it for the Mets. One down, three to go.

I'm actually very impressed with the TBS announce team. They're about as impartial a local team as I've ever seen, and they've made good points throughout the night about the All-Star Game "Counting" and the fascination with NYY/BOS among other things.

I'm writing. I wouldn't have asked all the questions about the sex parlor if I wasn't.

Meanwhile, Jon Stewart's about a hundred times funnier than this guy will ever be. He's not worth worrying about.

Poor Al Leiter. He was one of my favorite players when he was on the Mets, and I'm still a fan of his. It's a shame he can't pitch to save his life anymore.

Holy shit, Budapist. That's fantastic. The eyes in particular are beautiful. Edit: Ah. Forget it then.

One more thing; is the stage in front of the audience as with most plays and movies, or is the audience surrounding it as with most wrestling programs?