Kaertos

I've seen chunks of TNA here and there since they've been on the air, and I have to say that while I was impressed with some of their workers, the terrible announcers (alright, Tenay kicks twelve kinds of ass, but the other guys with him... ouch) and overall poor presentation has turned me off. The last couple of times I watched Impact, it was bad enough to make me take it off the "Record Series" list on my DVR. WWE has its bad moments, but overall I think it is miles better than TNA.

Yesterday: Breakfast: Cupcake and a cup of Coffee (free from work ) Lunch: Chef Boyardee pasta & meatballs, potato chips, Little Debbie snack, washed it down with an Orange Soda Dinner: Chicken Salad on toast, grilled bread crusts with garlic, salt and "Essence" dipped in Western Dressing, mixed greens salad. two cookies for dessert, all washed down with Hawaiian Punch Today: Breakfast: None (as usual) Lunch: McRib, fries, Orange Drink Dinner :Waffles, scrambled eggs and bacon

Edwin, I'll be honest, I'm glad you said that because when I was writing it I became very emotional. And as my wife said, "And why not? How much of your life have you devoted to this character? You aren't just having him say goodbye to the Fed, you are saying goodbye to him." You know... I think I'm going to miss the big lug. On another note... please read the match... please?

Let's see... Well, my wife's birthday was yesterday (11-7) and we kind of use that as a "kick-off" day for the holidays. After her birthday it is officially OK to start listening to Christmas music and watching Christmas movies. Thanksgiving "Eve"... Most of our friends will gather at... well... the smallest house of anyone's... and have a nice dinner. We get to see a lot of people only once a year at this, so it is very special. For Thanksgiving... We will wake up early but stay in bed to watch the Macy's parade, then we will take showers and get ready for Thanksgiving Dinner over at her parent's house. Dinner is traditional Thanksgiving fare. My sister-in-law and her boyfriend will bring the wine, my wife and I will bring the pie (one pumpkin, one pecan) and my mother-in-law will cook dinner. After dinner, we will all pretend to watch the NFL game, but really we will all take a little nap. Then around 7 or 8, we will make turkey sandwiches and eat leftover while we watch "A Christmas Story" and "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation". Sometime between Thanksgiving and Christmas, my father-in-law and I will go out shopping together, getting done in three or gour hours what it takes our wives three months to do. Christmas Eve... We will go to a Christmas Eve party with my wife's extended family which usually starts around dinner time and lasts late into the night. We then go back to my in-law's for a cup of coffee and help them put all of the presents under the tree. Then we go home and take turns putting gifts under the tree and we fill the stockings. Then we both open one gift. the gift my wife opens is always a personalized ornament that says "Our xth Christmas Together", this year will the 9th. Then we go to bed listening to one particular CD and with the tiny miniature tree in the bedroom on. Christmas Morning... We get up early, usually around 7. My wife and I open out gifts to each other, all except for one which we take over to my in-laws. Then we head over to their place for presents and breakfast while the "A Christmas Story" marathon plays on the TV. Usually, my sister-in-law and her boyfriend have to leave to visit his family, so we take a little break in the festivities. We open up some of the gifts and look at them and pay the Trivial Pursuit Christmas Edition. Then her sister comes back and we have Christmas Dinner which is always Prime Rib. The Day after Christmas my wife and I always watch "It's a Wonderful Life". On New Year's Eve, we have a party at our house where our friends come over and we exchange Christmas gifts. We have fun late into the night and sleep in the next day. We usually go see a movie on New Year's Day. And there you go. The funny part is, I am certain I have forgotten something traditional we do... Christmas Day...

Just wondering if anyone has started their matches yet. Got mine started last night, up to about 1500 words. And, King and I finally know who is winning the match.

Done. 15,812 words. And I am spent.

I am guessing that he falls to the dark side before the big duel with Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan is trying to pull him back from the Dark Side, but can't so he has to destroy him. Remember the conversation between Obi-Wan and Luke in Jedi? Luke: There is still good in him, I felt it. Obi-Wan: I was once thought as you did, but he is more machine now than man, twisted and evil.

I actually sat through half of TRL yesterday to see it. That is dedication... And, although I thought it would be significantly longer, I was very impressed. As I told my wife, it is probably a good thing they weren't selling tickets last night to a charity screening or something for $100.00, because I would have been in line to buy them. Of course, I am apparently in the vast minority of fans who actually liked the first two prequels.

Went to therapy (well, really more of the "student services counseling" thing, but basically) for a few months about ten years ago give or take. I was really on the edge, physically and emotionally. My friends were getting to the point that they disliked having me around because my head just wasn't in the right place. I had broken down totally a couple of times and felt like the next time it happened there wouldn't be any coming back. Did the whole bit: thought about suicide, thought about doing drugs and drinking to make me feel better, thought about running away... but my girlfriend convinced me, with the help of another good friend, to go and ask for some help. So I did. Best thing I could have done. Just asking for help made me feel like the load was a little lighter. Once I started going to the sessions, the guy helping me was good. I went about 10 weeks, then had to quit going because I dropped out of school. But the changes he helped me make and the things he helped me see made me a better person. My friends noticed the change and my girlfriend didn't break up with me. I guess what I am saying is this: JSYK, you are right. It is within you to cope with this. But sometimes you need someone to not only show you the way but convince you that you are stronger than you think you are. Everyone needs help once in a while. Good luck man.

Dace... of course it's storyline. But who do you think will win? MAIN EVENT WORLD TITLE BOUT STREET FIGHT Toxxic© vs Annie Eclectic Wow... I'm pulling for Annie in this one, mostly because I have been a big fan of her since she was bumped. Although, as with most World Title matches, I wouldn't be suprised to see Toxx retain. HELL IN A CELL "Grand Slam" Mark Stevens vs The Suicide King Well, if I don't get on the ball and finish this thing soon, Mrs. Stevens will make both King and I submit, as Sunday is her birthday and I will be murdelized if I spend all day writing a match. SINGLES MATCH Manson vs Nathaniel Kibagami Manson. Kibs is a fine writer when he shows, but I think there is a ring rust issue here. TAG TEAM MATCH Todd Cortez & ??? vs Sean Davis & ??? Having discovered that Sean is actually my old tag partner Sarah, I've got to pick her. Carnie Pride... kinda... ICTV TITLE BOUT ROYAL BEATING MATCH "The Icon" Max King© vs Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix Maddix's match will win if both guys write, but I see him jobbing the title and kickstarting a new feud to push himself above ICTV level and onto the ME. WOMEN'S TITLE SINGLES MATCH Kelly Connelly© vs Megan Skye ... Megan wins. I smell a fix if King wins the ICTV match... SINGLES MATCH Andrea Montgomery vs David Cross Go GODrea! All she needs is a big win and a good angle to push her all the way to the top. Besides, from a pure marketing standpoint, I'd love to see Andrea v. Annie for the World Title. CRUSIERWEIGHT TITLE MATCH "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins© vs Austin Sly Spike is motivated. I'll give him the nod in a close match. HARDCORE TITLE MATCH Carnage© vs Christian Fury This Carnage kid... seems better than he has any right to be. If he wants it, I have a feeling he'll hold this title for quite a while.

So... on the subject of face pops... does anyone on that side of the pond give a flying fig about baseball, and if so, what cap should Grand Slam wear?

Saturday, 6pm - 9 pm

"Breaking Kayfabe" for October 19, 2004 I finally had the chance to sit down and type out one of these columns. I'll start by apologizing to all my readers who have been waiting patiently. I've been a little busy, as you may have noticed. Since I returned (briefly) to the active roster, I have gotten a ton of e-mails asking if I was back for good, and if not, how long will I be back. I fear that the answer may not have been what you all wanted to hear. Ever since Bases Loaded closed a while back, I've been itching to get back into the ring. But I was enjoying the Commissioner's post quite a bit, and I had a great time interacting with some of the rising stars of the Fed, so I kept putting off knee surgery until it wasn't really an option. In fact it was Alex Zenon who finally sat me down and told me it was time to get the knee fixed. It has been in various states of disrepair since I hurt in way back in the JL, but I was able to work through most of it. It didn't have anything to do with my retirement back in '02, but it did keep me out of a very much-anticipated return match at G4. It was obviously very sore, so much that we were forced to write the gimpiness into the angle itself. It was doing fine, but I tweaked it in that match I worked with Tom not too long before I left. So there I was one night after a show where all I really did was walk around and talk on the mic with two ice bags tied to the knee. Within the space of twenty minutes, I got a call from Lynn that her due date had been off by a couple of weeks and Z told me to go home. Well, I called King up and told him what was going on. He told me that in the SWF, family and health came first. So I cleaned out my traveling case and hopped the first flight home. Needless to say, keeping in ring shape wasn't a high priority. I was rehabbing my knee, helping to care for a slightly premature baby girl, keeping my two-and-a-half year old out of trouble and trying to my book started. Yes, I, "Grand Slam" Mark Stevens, was playing Mr. Mom. And let me tell you, it wasn't bad at all. I still wanted to get back into the business, but I was happy where I was. On June 28th, my wife and I attended Smarkdown when it was in Omaha and I went backstage to say hello to the boys. I got to talking with Alex, King, Tom and Raynor and mentioned that I would be interested in getting back in the ring, maybe putting someone over at Genesis V, then retiring for good. I guess that got the wheels moving, because I got a call from King the next afternoon offering me a limited contract through Genesis. I talked it over with Lynn and decided to do it. I flew to Boston on the 7th of July and signed the contracts just before the show went on the air. A little less than a month later and I was on the Ground Zero PPV setting the stage for my comeback the following week in Denver. It was a blast. Of course, I couldn't buy a win and I got a little banged up, but it was great to work with some of the new guys (to me anyways) like Johnny and Ace. My favorite match might have been against Toxxic though. He is a hell of a worker, and I think he is a great champion. Then there was G5. That may be one of my favorite matches of my career. I don't think there will ever be another match quite like it. By that time, the front office was talking contract extension, and I have to say that I was tempted. But I knew, just knew, that the time had come. So I declined and we went ahead on Storm with the original plan and announced the Hell in the Cell between King and I. And yes, it will be my last match ever. When I retired before, I left myself some outs; maybe subconsciously I knew that it wasn't time for me to go yet. I worked in the office, I helped book shows, I was Commissioner... everything seemingly leading to me coming back to the ring. This time though... this time I am done. I have tendered my resignation to the office and I have accepted a retirement package. This is it for me, not just in the ring, but also in wrestling. I have other responsibilities now, and I have plenty of money saved up. I'm 36 and I want to be able to play baseball with my kids when I am 40. I agreed to do the Hell in the Cell match because I want to say goodbye the right way to the fans and the business that has been my life for fifteen years. And I could think of no better way to do that than to finally put an end to the King / Grand Slam issue once and for all. So, I guess this is the first part of saying goodbye. This will be the last "Breaking Kayfabe" under my watch. I hope someone else picks up the torch and runs with it, but this is the last time my name will appear under that headline. I want to thank everyone who has had kind words for me about this column and I hope everyone watches Ashes 2 Ashes as I think it will truly be something special. Win or lose, I am determined to make this a match people will look at years from now as one of the best ever. And remember what I have always said, "A true professional goes out on his back." Keep swinging for the fences... "Grand Slam" Mark Stevens

I atually just saw him in a show on Food Network called "Wine for the Confused." He made it funny and enjoyable as well as informative. The man is a genius.

I appreciate that. It may be a while, but still... I will be around however. I'll read the occasional show, but I have made too many friends in the SWF to stay away completely. I'll just not be participating in anything.

In fact, there is no confirmation of anything.

No, it is true. This retirement is really real, and short of doing the yearly schedule I will be stepping away from the SWF. Believe it or not, it was a tough decision, but my priorities (much as Grand Slam's) are changing and the time I devoted to the Fed needs to be spent in other pursuits. The primary of which I am happy to share. I am in the process of writing a novel based on a story told by none other than King. Hopefully, I can finish it in the near future and sell it, cementing my career as a full-time writer, which is what I have wanted to be since I was in High School.

Look, plain and simple, it breaks down like this: The account at the beginning of this thread is plainly favoring one side over the other. It is biased and poorly written in an attempt to paint the fan as a total victim of a wrestler with too much aggression. My guess is that it is leaving out some important facts. How hard and how often did the fan "touch" (or slap or hit or just brush) D-Von? What exactly was said? Because, acknowledge it or not, there is a line that shouldn't be crossed. Yes, wrestlers should be thick skinned and brush off insults regardless of how bad it is. But if the fans cross the line from "enjoying the show" to "threatening the health of the wrestler" then all bets are off. I've seen Austin, Triple H and Earl Hebner just unload on a guy who rushed the ring. And he deserved it. Now this might be a totally a legit situation and if that is the case, then yes D-Von is in the wrong. All I'm saying is this guy could have crossed the line, so don't rush to judgment.

Yup, here is one of the best I have used for just that purpose... Graphics Workshop Pro It isn't technically free, but you can evaluate it forever. Not that I recommend that, I'm just saying...

Well yes, but I have been meaning to write it regardless. That having been said, it would be nice if more people than me or you read it...

Game 5, ALCS. That was some compelling baseball.

HHH's opponent - Chris Benoit Jericho's oppponent - "Big Dave" Batista Diva's battle royal outfits - French Maid Christy Hemme vs Carmella DeCesare stips - Pillow Fight Snitsky vs Kane stips - Chain Bischoff vs Eugene stips - Servant for a month Flair vs Orton stips - Falls Count Anywhere

In all seriousness, back before he became the hateful bastard he is today, I would have loved to tag reguarly with King. A true dream tag that would dominate the division? Give me Flesher / Magnifico.

Damn... PDS was in FTW back in the day? I had no idea I was in a Pimp Daddy-less stable... And I only stuck around for about two months.

:-P