Dr. Tom

We had touch-screen technology here, replacing the paper system that had been in place since the earth cooled. Some goober working at the polling place asked me if I needed help with the touch-screen tech. I just laughed at him.

I'll go with the Steelers. They just knocked off the Patriots, who are coming into a tough stretch of games with some legit injury concerns, and I think they'll knock off the Eagles this weekend.

The column in question It's a little later and skimpier than normal, due to my long weekend spent out of town.

Wishing death on someone is not expressly forbidden by the rules. Be aware that there are other rules you could violate in the course of your death wish, but wishing death on another poster is not verboten under the streamlined rules.

Popular Vote: They'll both have under 50%, but Kerry will have the edge Electoral Vote (#) Bush wins, 290-248. Florida: Bush Iowa: Bush Hawaii: Kerry Wisconsin: Bush New Mexico: Kerry

Pinned until the election is resolved. Which better bloody be by the time I go to bed tonight.

Slap the Candidate Your... uh, vote counts.

Considering the impressive leadership the CONSERVATIVE BRIGADE~! has in place, the Liberal Legion or the Commie Coalition or the Happy Hippies, or whatever they're called, will find it impossible to keep up. You shall all be ground beneath my jack-booted heel. MUAHAHAHAHA~! KNEEL BEFORE ZOD~!

One play does not confer tilde-bang status...

so many things wrong with this. 1) the quality of the reference itself is bad. everybody knows it, and it's ridiculously overused. 2) you brought attention to the fact that it was a reference. never ever ever do this; the whole point is for those "in the know" to get it, and for it to fly over the heads of everyone else. when you say "that was a reference," it leaves the former saying "no shit, sherlock" and the latter saying "so what?" 3) you basically congratulated yourself on the reference. even if it WAS a good reference, the self-congratulation makes you look significantly less cool. since this was not a good reference in the first place, it makes you look like eddie deezen, squinting through your coke bottle glasses while you say "hey everybody, look how cool i am" through your nose. Just one thing wrong with this. 1. My not-serious post deserved about one second of analysis. You gave it 50,000 times that.

As long as it was part of pillow talk, I would.

We get the 2000 Election part II. Actually, we're probably getting that anyway. As much as I loathe the Redskins, I have to root for them this weekend. Thankfully, the Packers have a bad rushing defense, so maybe Clinton (OMG another presidential reference~!!!11) Portis can own them on the ground.

To be fair, the Bears ARE worse than the Cardinals...

I give myself an 11. And if you don't get the reference, I give you a 0 for being tragically unhip.

To Die For, obv...

That would be awesome if Kutcher showed up at a Kerry rally doing the rah-rah act, then "punked" Kerry and brought out the Pro-Bush signs and riled everyone up. It would be more awesome still if Kerry's security people shot him in the face for making such a disturbance.

...

Shit, I did. I KNEW I forgot to add something in when I was doing the final writeup with the Monday night stuff added in. Fuck.

Since I haven't followed comics in a few years, how are they reconciling this with the whole Parallax thing in Zero Hour?

Edited for accuracy.

Back after my bye week. Clicky-clicky

Washington, DC party - 10/31/04 2000EDT Please join us at the Spy Lounge in Adams Morgan for a fun Hallowe'en evening of politics, live jazz, and great drinks! This event is open to the public and there is NO entry fee! The host considers sponsoring informative debate not just a civic duty but a privilege, so please consider joining us as our guest! Although the host is a conservative Republican, our more civil and articulate liberal friends are welcome to make their case. Regardless of affiliation, should you choose, you'll have the opportunity to make a short speech (2-3 minutes in length) between jazz numbers - in return for which you'll be given open bar privileges for the rest of the night! (The Spy Lounge features one of the best drinks in the city, and possibly the world - a Dr No's Madness! Standing up to the mike won't feel like a burden after a couple of these!) Guests include retired senior government officials and members of prestigious think tanks in the DC area, as well as politically active college students, representatives of both political parties, and journalists from a variety of national print media. Topics will range from domestic policies to foreign affairs without restriction. Throughout the evening, the highly-regarded Danielle Westphal will be singing classic and modern jazz favorites. She's played at the White House for President Clinton (but we forgive her for that), and frequently performs at the Kennedy Center. At the moment she can be found at a number of venues including the Asia Bistro and the Sala Thai restaurant in Arlington, Virginia, as well as the Bangkok Blues of Falls Church and the Old Town Theater in Alexandria. We hope to see you soon! When: 10/31/04 2000 EDT Where: The Spy Lounge 2406 18th Street NW Washington, DC How: Contact [email protected] for any additional details and to confirm, or just show up! -------- -------- I'd go, but I'm going to be in Columbus, Ohio this coming weekend, so that rules it out for me. I know we have serveral posters in and near the DC area, and those without plans are encouraged to attend. I think all of you know the organizer, at least indirectly, and it sounds like an interesting evening for those who are politically inclined, regardless of affiliation. Relayed at the request of the organizer, whom you know as "Cancer Marney."

Since this place needs a standard of awesome, I'll volunteer to be evaluated and set the bar.

Also, the numbers 666, 69 or 420 in their name. Agreed. And if they have any reference at all to a wrestler in their name, they probably suck. That should not be confined to HHH or RVD. If they have both a wrestling reference AND one of those numbers in their name, then they've hit the double whammy for being awful. Someone named 420RVD69 would theoretically be the worst poster ever.

On the contrary, I hope he suffers tremendously. I hope he's in blinding agony for days. That worthless piece of subhuman shit deserves it for all the deaths he's caused over the years.