The Czech Republic

Hey Rudo, how's about we recap Raw together? And don't say "How's about you get some brains."

I think RRR and I should get Raw or Smackdown duty together after the next person submits to the pain.

Chapter 43: Speaking of Thanksgiving, yes, we INTENDED for the Gobbledygooker to be mocked for years to come. Yes.

JR: This Fertig and Tomko tandem, what hosses they are! What studs! Us: When is Fertig gonna make poo-pants?

Chapter 41: Extending Things Too Far--a look at the dynamics of Evil Owners

I just went back to the beginning and re-read the whole thing...oh my God. If I had to sum it up in one sentence, it would be "Special K's harness broke."

Hey, if Tiny Tazz is part of the mockery of your tale, I must be involved. It's written in the cosmos. Well your line about "Cena discovering the true meaning of teamwork" is what inspired not only the whole story, but an integral part of The Fertig Saga.

You know the funniest part about this is that the real Tomko and Fertig look like Gothic tattooed freaks,

Molly: Hello, Fertig, how are you today? Fertig: Your breasts are the best breasts. Molly: Excuse me? Don't forget that TomCo loves Molly. TomCo loves Molly. Everyone loves Molly. TomCo is everyone. TomCo is God. Fertig is Jesus. So Fertig is TomCo's son AND brother? Well TomCo is everyone, so yes.

Molly: Hello, Fertig, how are you today? Fertig: Your breasts are the best breasts. Molly: Excuse me? Don't forget that TomCo loves Molly. TomCo loves Molly. Everyone loves Molly. TomCo is everyone. TomCo is God. Fertig is Jesus.

Molly: Hello, Fertig, how are you today? Fertig: Your breasts are the best breasts. Molly: Excuse me?

Who's with me on retiring this thread?

Mr. Brook River is HERE....awaiting authorization.

Fertig's character is deeper than those of the entire Raw roster combined.

Fertig can also make razor-laser-precise sporting-event predictions. Storm: "So whaddya think there, Special K?" Fertig: "Leafs beat Habs 3-2 in overtime off a Darcy Tucker goal"

Chapter 28: Why wasn't there a Chapter 25? BEecause we're the storytellers and don't need to explain such things. Now keep reading.

I think Fertig should also be a marvelous opera singer, a talent not even TomKo knows.

Chapter 23: Why Roddy Piper Is A Lying Sack Of Shit

Dead Milkmen - "Taking Retards to the Zoo"

Steiner: Ahdunno bout choo, but this is my jacket I wore in 1993. Howjoo get that same one, bitch? Test: um, uh... Steiner: You stole Rob's, dintcha? Test: He lent it to me?

Imagine the silent class warfare between Nowinski and Special K.

Chapter 20: How Vince Defeated The Government

Fertig should be in Welding. Imagine the adventures there. Just a retard boy on a Monday night, waiting for the match of his life, He's a maniac, MANIAC, on the floor! ANd he's convulsing like he's never convulsed before....

And then after HHH has tricked Fertig into thinking he is retarded just like him, he whacks Special K in the head with the sledgehammer. HHH: "I am the cerebral assassin-uh, and your brain-uh was dead already-uh." (poses, spits water) No, that's not enough (takes Fertig's Hi-C juice box, poses, spits Ecto Cooler)

All Fertig, All The Time also means program-interactive, cross-promotional commercials! Special K just wanders into ads during breaks on Raw. VOICE: "You know what you don't see in car commercials? Real cars." FERTIG: "THE BABY! I SEE THE BABY!!" VOICE: "Ah Christ! You ruined it! That's a car, not a baby. And that commercial stopped running in what, July? Tard."