Kinetic

I was serious about the money.

It has its moments. "Sister Midnight" is probably a little better than its identical twin at the end of Lodger and "China Girl" is significatly better than Bowie's hit version. Despite not being particularly long, that album just really drags for me. "Dum Dum Boys" and "Mass Production," in particular, are just these dirge-y, monotonous moan-fests. Lust for Life is a much more rocking album, which is really the only environment in which Iggy works or makes sense.

Gimme some money.

440 yards and 3 touchdowns for Cutler tonight. Turn out the lights, folks. This one's over before it even began.

Are they just doing "live look-ins" the way they've done in years past and not following the NBC model and actually streaming the entire game? Lame.

Yeah, bro. You and your healthy, satisfying relationship need to vacate my thread ASAP.

Holy shit. I knew we paid out the nose for Jeff Faine, but goddamn. And for a center!

re: Lust for Life. That album builds up a nice head of steam, but then just dies with "Fall in Love With Me." It's a little unfortunate that it has such a crappy closing song, because the rest of the album is fantastic.

I honestly prefer it to any other Lou Reed solo album. I also think Lust for Life is better than any Stooges album except for Fun House. So, y'know...grain of salt and all that.

I've listened to Transformer about 20 times in a row. I wish Lou Reed would have made more albums with David Bowie. It should be noted that both Iggy Pop and Lou Reed made their best solo records with Bowie producing. I guess The Idiot sort of sucks. But Lust for Life is relentlessly awesome. Shit, even All the Young Dudes is pretty good.

If I were sober (fairly big if there) I think I'd have some real misgivings about sleeping with a girl who didn't insist that I wear a condom. That suggests that she's the sort of girl who probably has lots of unprotected sex. I don't know. To me, the reward doesn't justify the risk. I mean, AIDS is like the last thing that I need right now.

That made me spit coffee all over my keyboard. IN ANGER~~ I think my problem may be that I like women too much.

I don't think I was alone in believing that the Raiders might actually be okay this year, due to the fact that a half decade of miserable seasons had netted them a lot of talented skill position players in the draft. But it hasn't happened because Al Davis refuses to hire a real coach. These guys--JaMarcus Russell, especially--are doomed to have bad careers because they happened to get drafted into what has become the worst organization in football. And it is weird and sad that it's come to that point, but whatever. That team has a level of prestige that can't be erased by one decade of irrelevance. Once Al Davis dies or retires, they'll return to respectability.

But they can't succeed under Al Davis, doing it the Al Davis way. All of this "Al loves the long ball" stuff is just insane. I can't imagine being a fan of this team. Do you know what sort of football the Glazers like to see in Tampa Bay? No, and neither do I. That's the way it should be. The meddling owner thing is a recipe for disaster and it always has been. Dallas with Jerry Jones calling the shots is the same sort of deal. Just because you have a lot of money doesn't mean that you know anything about assembling or motivating a football team.

I think ranting about Al Davis is a pretty natural reaction to what's going on in Oakland. Imagine for a moment that he's something other than a sideshow. He's the owner of your team. He's making completely insane decisions, like firing his head coach and replacing him with the guy who changes his oil down to the Jiffy Lube. Or cutting a pretty good corner when everyone knows that the real issue is with how awful the offense is. What, as a Raiders fan, can you even do other than bitch about Al Davis? As cliched as it may sound at this point, I don't think it's a stretch to say that that team won't even approach .500 until he's dead and buried and forgotten.

Didn't you really dislike the guy when he was in Atlanta? I seem to recall you railing against him here. Say what you will about the guy, it's a bad thing when a team gives up a second round pick and a lot of money for a guy and then cuts him halfway through the season. Especially when he's having a decent year.

I ain't fucking no bitch raw, if that's what you mean. Ain't trying to be no daddy. Bitches try to get you to take them to the Cheesecake Factory, ordering popcorn shrimp and strawberry lemonade. All they trying to do is get your motherfucking cheese. Yeah!

Hate a bitch? Feel ill at ease with the level of control that women hold over you? Fear that your tiny member will never be enough to satisfy a non-imaginary woman? Let it all out here. You're among friends.

Because that sucks. "Slumber Plumber"? Come on.

My self-loathing usually prevents me from laughing at my own jokes, but "Slumber Pumper"...haha. Yeah!

Oh, shit. "Noboby." Anyway, I'm gonna take advantage of Senator Government's girlfriend while she sleeps, a la "Sleep Creep" or "Nap Trap" or "Slumber Pumper." She's hawt.

You'd have to be a fucking idiot to have unprotected sex with someone that you're not seriously dating or married to. I mean, noboby actually likes wearing condoms, all right? You lose a lot of sensation, they smell weird, they tug at your pubic hairs and make you screech like a little girl, etc. But if you take even a second to consider the alternatives, I'd hope that you'd come to the conclusion that losing a bit of feeling is preferable to ruining your life.

DEN @ CLE The dawn of the Brady Quinn era is upon us. I think he'll give the offense a spark and the Browns will edge out the reeling Broncos. NO @ ATL Bit of a tough one. Atlanta is playing really well, but New Orleans is still desperate to get back into the NFC South race. And they're coming off of a bye week. I'm going to have to take New Orleans here. TEN @ CHI Another tough one. I'm not as confident as some others that Grossman will have his one good game of there year here, and I see no reason why Collins won't have a good game against a surprisingly mediocre Bears defense. Titans win and stay undefeated. JAC @ DET Jacksonville is a major disappointment this year. Is it possible that they'll give two awful teams their first wins of the year in consecutive weeks? No, I don't think so. Jags take this one. BAL @ HOU Watch out for surprising Baltimore. They're playing pretty well right now and I think they're good enough to beat an okayish Houston team on the road. Ravens in this one. SEA @ MIA The Dolphins could be over .500 with a win here. That was almost unfathomable coming into the season. Seattle is just a miserable team, and they're making the longest possible road trip here and it's a 1:00 game. No way this is even competitive. Dolphins win handily. GB @ MIN I like the Vikings to avenge their Week 1 loss here. Peterson should give the Packers run defense fits. BUF @ NE I think this is a really interesting game, as no one was tormented more during New England's reign of terror atop the AFC East than the Bills. This is a great opportunity for a hot-and-cold Bills team to prove that they're ready to topple the Pats. I don't think they'll do it. Patriots win. STL @ NYJ I find the Jets to be crushingly boring, for whatever reason. Even with the ol' Gunslinger. Thomas Jones is quietly having a good year and I think he'll lead New York to victory here. The bloom will officially be off the rose for Haslett in St. Louis. CAR @ OAK Oh, my goodness. This will almost certainly get ugly in a hurry. Panthers by 100. IND @ PIT No reason why Pittsburgh shouldn't pummel Indy here. This should go a long way toward establishing the Steelers as a legit AFC contender, while simultaneously putting another nail in the coffin for the Colts. KC @ SD Wouldn't be at all surprised to see this be a really competitive game. That said, the Chargers should be able to squeak one out in the end. If not, they're done. NYG @ PHI Jerome Bettis tells me that this ain't gonna be nothin' but a backyard fistfight. I like the sound of that. Philly really needs to win this if they have any hope of winning that division, so I think they'll find a way to pull it out. SF @ ARI What a terrible Monday night game. Cardinals win easily.

This conversation is trying my patience. Talk to the hand, Venkman, talk to the hand.

I hope you asked her what she meant.