Tony149

Looks like we're going to need more than a day to get this show up, so yeah, it'll probably be a while before it's up.

You know we're on a roll when a show with only 1 match still rocks. Immediately we kick off the show with a major development. Mature stuff. Maybe a teen pregnancy angle is next. Who knows? at Leon's response to D*LUX thinking they were about to join the In Crowd. The duet line was clever, and I got a kick out of Leon's reaction towards seeing Jade in her new attire, even if we didn't actually see it -- or read it -- till later. Holly vs. Jade: Man, was this great. Enjoyed every paragraph of it. Get it? Yeah. Awesome. Give Alix an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress. Goddamn, that MD musical performance brought a tear to my eye. Hilarious shit from the mind of Patty O'Green. Wild DA segment with PR getting involved after Reject attacks Maggie. Cole's explaination as to why nobody bothered to move the forklift was a thing of beauty. Funny segment w/TT, the BB and PATD. I can't remember the last time Krista got beatdown like she did after her debate with Maddix. MOTN: Holly(Wood) Mann vs. Jade Rodez QOTS: Around the ring runs Alix, pondering why nobody in the crowd seems to have joined in her game of Duck, Duck, Goose and pondering further on seeing Jade has turned the tide of the match. Holly staggers out of the corner and Ally starts calling a play to Jade. Seriously, she produces a clipboard from nowhere with her play drawn up with pink Xs and Os. Unfortunately the play means nothing to anybody except Alix and Jade is forced to improvise. She calls Holly to a halt, warning her that her shoe is untied. Naturally worried about falling on her face and making a show of herself, Holly looks down at her feet... and Jade slaps her in the back of the head. HOLLY Ow! What the hell was that for? JADE Was that embarrassing? HOLLY Yeah, kinda. JADE Oh... well, uh, good.

Backstage, the Burrough Boys are preparing some illegal drugs. MARIANO Yo dog, you think we got lit Thursday, y'all jus' wait 'til later tonight! It's gon' be off the HOOK! The phone rings, and Luther puts it on speaker. LUTHER 'Sup? VINNY VALENTINE (doing a gritty voice) Yo momma's so stupid, she thinks Judo is what you use to make bagels! WALDO ...nigga what? VINNY Sucka, yo momma's so black, when she steps in the car, the oil light goes on! LUTHER Nigga, Ima' bout ta protest yo' ass with a King Cobra and a Nigga Chaser! VINNY Hold up boy, don't get salty on me! It's your man Vinny! WALDO Aw, right on! Y'all ready for tonight? VINNY Hell yeah! You got that shit ready! QUINCY You know it, baby! VINNY All right, once again it's on like Donkey Kong! WALDO Yeeeah. Suddenly, Tony Tourettes bursts through the door, with Jumbo right on his tail. TONY GET YOU BALONEY TITS AWAY FROM ME! FATASS! All four Burrough Boys jump up in front of Jumbo, and eventually calm him down. MARIANO Yo dog, this our boy right 'chea! He ain't mean nothin', it's every man fo' hisself! LUTHER Here, try some'a dis shit! Luther runs a joint under Jumbo's nose, and the big guy smells what the boys are cookin, and starts to laugh along with them. Sweet Lucius Soul then opens the door. LUCIUS Is this the 5 o'clock free crack giveaway? MARIANO Naw nigga, we got da chronic right 'chea! Our boy V2's gonna have the white shit later, you feel me? LUCIUS Word! You know me an' Rico's in on that shit! MARIANO A'ight! Later tonight! Lucius shuts the door. MARIANO I told y'all this shit's gonna be off the hook! Waldo spots Tony chugging a large bottle of vodka, and snatches it from him. WALDO 'Ay dawg, leave some for all of us! TONY FUCK YOU! KISS MY ASS! BITCH! SUCK MY DICK! YOU MOTHERFUCKERS LOOK LIKE THE BLACK TELETUBBIES! Tony leaves the room, as the stunned Burrough Boys look on. Tony sees a waiter pushing a cart with various food and another bottle of vodka on it, and, rather than just grab the bottle like a composed liquor thief would, Tony instead shoves the poor guy hard to the floor from the side, knocking over his entire cart, then picks up the bottle. TONY See, I got more! The Burrough Boys laugh with Tony and Jumbo, patting Tony on the back as the camera cuts back to ringside. COLE And coming up next, the World tag team titles, on the line! Tables, ladders, and chairs, and you heard Josie Baker hint that there would be a fourth team in this match! COACH This is not right, Cole, sticking a fourth team in there on TK & Reject with just an hour or so notice! The main camera zooms in slowly, getting a shot of the World tag team title belts hanging over the ring. COLE And there you see the belts hanging high above the ring, the only way to win is to climb the ladder and grab the belts! "If you are what you say you are A superstar Then have no fear The camera's here and the microphones and they wanna know Oh oh oh yeah" by Lupe Fiasco plays, and the Beverly Hills Blonds make their way through the curtains. BUFFER The following contest is a Tables, Ladders, and Chairs match, for the OAOAST World tag team championhsip! The only way to win is to climb the ladder, and retrieve the title belts hanging above the ring! Coming to the ring at this time...from Beverly Hills, California, at a combined weight of 460 pounds...representing the Enterprise...the team of NED BLANCHARD and SIMON SINGLETON...THE BEVERLYYYYYYY HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLSSSSS S BLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! COLE And both of the challengers with scores to settle in this match with the champions, Thunderkid and Reject! You remember it was a little over three weeks ago when Reject hospitalized Molly Nerdly following a match, and then of course this past week, the heinous attack on a close friend of D*LUX, Maggie Nerdly! The Blonds slide in, and Ned flirts with some females ringside as Makes Me Wonder by Maroon 5 hits, bringing D*LUX to the ring amidst the sound of screaming females. BUFFER Hailing from Detroit and Auburn Hills, Michigan, respectively, at a total combined weight of 379 pounds...the team of Shayne Brave and Tyler Bryant...DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE * LLLLLLLLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!! Shayne and Tyler stand at ringside and look up at the belts in the air, then climb into the ring and pose on the buckles. They then exchange trash talk with the Blonds, as by Kansas hits, and boos fill the arena, as the lights go out and the entryway is filled with yellow strobes and smoke. Thunderkid and Reject emerge through the smoke cloud, coming to a stop and looking towards the ring. BUFFER At a total combined weight of 485 pounds...representing the Deadly Alliance, they are the OAOAST tag team champions of the WORLD...The team of THHHHHHHHHHHHHUNDERKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIIIIIIIID and RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEJECT!!!!! TK and Reject slowly walk to the ring, then climb in as their music continues to play, and Josie Baker walks into the entryway. JOSIE OK boys...I told you earlier you were going to have three opponents tonight. Now, normally, I don't like these last-minute surprises...but I think these two guys really deserve a spot on this show...a spot that you two attempted to steal from them! COACH Who? JOSIE And what better match, than a Tables, Ladders and chair's match, to bring back this exciting tag team, your third opponents for the World tag team titles? As Josie is finishing her sentence, Shine by Collective Soul hits, and the fans go NUTS! COLE HEY! COACH Oh, you gotta be kidding me! The cheers only escalate, as Team Heyross enthusiastically bursts through the curtains! COLE IT'S TEAM HEYROSS! Team Heyross is BACK~! COACH Oh no, I can't believe this! I thought TK and Reject put these guys out for good! Reject and TK are in disbelief as Benjamin points to the ring, threatening the champs, then Team Heyross makes a mad dash for the ring! COLE You better think again, Coach! Team Heyross slides into the ring, and start exchanging blows with TK and Reject! *DING DING DING* COLE What a development here in the World tag team title match! D*LUX and the Blonds slug it out, as well, and take it to the outside, as Benjamin backs Reject into a corner, and Moss does the same with TK, and unload with right hands as the crowd counts along! 1!!! 2!!! 3!!! 4!!! 5!!! 6!!! 7!!! 8!!! 9!!! 10!!! Team Heyross then jumps down, and whips the champs into each other in mid-ring! Reject rolls to the outside, while Moss grabs TK in a front facelock, then lifts him for a suplex. Benjamin then backs up, and gets a running start, jumping up and putting his knees into TK's back, executing a LUNGBLOWER as Moss falls back to the mat! COLE And Team Heyross has been working on some new moves in their absence! TK rolls to the outside, as well, and Team Heyross pumps up the crowd, as the Blonds roll back in and are met with right hands. The Blonds are followed by D*LUX, and a three-way slugfest ensues, with Tyler and Quentin slugging it out, as well as Ned and Shayne, and Moss and Simon. TK sneaks back in with a ladder, and sets it up, then he and Reject begin to climb it! COLE And look, TK and Reject looking to sneak out of here! However, Tyler comes over and pulls TK down, and drills him with right hands, while Ned does the same to Reject. TK and Reject are sent to the outside again, as the Blonds and D*LUX go at it once again. A slugfest is won by the Blonds, then Simon whips Tyler into the ropes, and catches him with a back elbow! COLE Simon Singleton with a big elbow right there! Ned hops to the second rope, and hops off, into the foot of Shayne! Tyler then whips Ned into a corner, then folds up the ladder and tosses it into him! COLE Oh, Ned having that ladder literally thrown at him by Tyler Bryant! Tyler then grabs Simon and whips him into the opposite corner, as Shayne sets up a chair in the ring, then backs up and uses the chair as a springboard to deliver a STINGER SPLASH~! to Simon! COLE Big splash in the corner! Tyler then sets the chair up in front of Ned, and Shayne jumps off of it...but Ned throws the ladder back into his face! COACH Not that time! COLE Faceful of ladder for Shayne Brave! Charlie Moss rolls into the ring, and floors Tyler with a superkick! Quentin Benjamin rolls in with another ladder, holding it up longways, then rams the top of it into the face of Tyler! COLE And now Tyler tasting a ladder! Benjamin then rams the ladder into Simon's face, then props it up in a corner. Meanwhile Moss hammers on Ned in a corner, then sets up a double underhook suplex, landing Ned on the other ladder! COACH Jeez! COLE Ned suplexed onto that ladder by Charlie Moss! Team Heyross then sets up Simon, and Irish whips him into the ladder propped up in the corner! TK then rolls back in and levels Benjamin from behind, while Reject does the same to Moss! COACH And the champs just laying in the weeds, waiting for the right time to strike! TK & Reject then grab a ladder, then charge Moss and clothesline him with it! COLE A ladder clothesline from TK and Reject to Charlie Moss! Reject then chokes Benjamin with his foot, while TK lays the ladder across the bottom rope. Reject whips Benjamin into the ropes, and he and TK drop toe hold him onto the ladder! COLE Quentin Benjamin, face-first! Benjamin rolls to the outside, as TK and Reject set up a ladder and begin their climb. Meanwhile, on the outside, Tyler rams the face of Ned into the steel steps, then rolls inside and hammers Reject on the back, then yanks him off by his tights and climbs the ladder himself. He and TK both reach the top, and begin to exchange right hands, until Charlie Moss rolls back in and shoves the ladder over, causing both men to clothesline themselves on the top rope! COLE TK and Tyler Bryant hung out to dry by Charlie Moss! Ned then hits Moss with a clothesline from behind, sending him rolling back to the outside, then follows him out. Meanwhile, Tyler and Benjamin engage in a slugfest on the floor, which Benjamin wins, then rolls Tyler onto a table. He delivers some blows to the chest, but Shayne decks him with a chair from behind! Meanwhile, TK climbs to the top rope... COACH TK going for something big here, Cole! TK gets his balance, and executes a MOONSAULT, to the outside, onto Tyler on the table! COLE A moonsault to the outside from TK, driving Tyler Bryant through that table! Meanwhile, in the ring, Reject floors Charlie Moss with a chairshot, then sets up the chair on his ankle. COLE And now Reject with that chair on the ankle of Charlie Moss, we've seen him try to do this in recent weeks to Bohemoth and last week to Maggie! Reject climbs to the top rope...then JUMPS DOWN ONTO THE CHAIR! COLE OH NO! Moss rolls to the apron holding his ankle, as Reject looks on. COLE Charlie Moss, remember he had that knee injury at the hands of the Deadly Alliance, and now he could have a broken ankle here, Coach! COACH Well, that's the risk you take in a match like this, especially involving someone in the state of mind Reject's in now! The referee pulls Moss to the outside, as Benjamin comes over to check on him. Another referee then comes out, and the two referees drape one of Moss's arms over their shoulders, and help him to the back. COLE How disappointing this must be for Team Heyross here, a surprise return and a chance to win the tag team titles here tonight, but those hopes look to be dashed right now! Benjamin slides back inside and grabs a ladder, then sets it up, as Shayne sets one up right next to him, and both men climb. The Blonds then make their way back in, with Simon climbing across from Shayne, while Ned climbs across from Benjamin. COLE But Quentin Benjamin going to try to do it on his own here! Two slugfests ensue atop the ladders, and Shayne manages to knock Simon back off. Benjamin knocks Shayne off right after, then rams Ned's face into the top of the ladder...before taking him off of it with a BULLDOG~! COACH Oh no! COLE A bulldog from the top of the ladder! TK and Reject then come back, and climb each ladder side-by-side. However, as they get to the top, Simon grabs a hold of Reject's ladder, and Tyler grabs a hold of TK's ladder, and both ladders are pushed over, with both men straddling the top rope and falling to the floor! COACH The two then set the ladders back up, and each climb one side, while Shayne and Ned climb each side on the other ladder. Slugfests ensue, and then Tyler and Simon both grab each other by the hair, and jump off, both clotheslining themselves on the ropes! Meanwhile, Ned sets up Shayne, and suplexes him off the ladder! COLE This is like a carwreck out here! The crowd stands and cheers, both because of the effort the athletes are giving, and because Charlie Moss is seen slightly limping back out to the ring! COACH Uh-oh... COLE And Charlie Moss is coming back! He's not going to go down without a fight! Moss rolls into the ring, then positions one of the ladders, and begins to climb! COLE Charlie Moss, fresh out of the trainers room, is going to win the titles! However, TK comes back in and pulls him down, and Reject joins in. But Moss fights back with right hands! COLE Charlie Moss fighting off both tag champs here! Moss soon falls to the odds, however, then TK lifts him in a hangman's hold. COLE Big kick coming up! Reject measures Moss, and lays in a big roundhouse kick! Moss rolls to the outside, as the Blonds roll in and slug it out with TK and Reject. Simon knocks Reject to the floor, as Ned slides a bigger ladder inside, and sets it up sideways in the corner, and sets up a smaller ladder in front of it. COACH Uh-oh, look at this ladder Ned's bringing in! Ned then sets up a table, and hammers away on TK, forcing him onto the table. He then climbs the small ladder, as Simon climbs the big one. COACH Oh, look at this! Both men reach the top of their ladders, and execute a ROCKET LAUNCHER TO THUNDERKID, THROUGH THE TABLE~! COLE A ROCKET LAUNCHER! A Rocket Launcher to TK, from the top of that huge ladder! HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! As Simon and TK lay in the table wreckage, Quentin Benjamin slides in with a chair, tossing it to Ned, then superkicking it into his face! COLE And Team Heyross not done yet, either! However, Reject comes in with a chair of his own, and delivers a huge shot to the back of Benjamin! COACH Neither is Reject! Shayne then slides in, and is met with a chair right to the head! COLE Oh my God, Shayne Brave, that sickening thud of that chair right to the skull! Reject then sets up the chair in mid-ring, and drags Shayne over by the hair, then picks him up and delivers the EULOGY THROUGH THE STEEL CHAIR~!!!!!11111 COLE/COACH Reject looks on as Shayne lays unconscious on the mat, then sets up a ladder and begins to climb, but Ned grabs him from behind, and pulls him off on his shoulders. Meanwhile, Tyler climbs to the top rope, and executes the MERRY TYLER GORE SHOW~!!!!!11111, to Reject off of Ned's shoulders! COLE And Tyler with the Merry Tyler Gore Show to Reject, as Reject was on Ned's shoulders! Tyler gets to his feet, then Ned charges in with a clothesline, taking both men over the top to the floor! Meanwhile, Shayne is sitting in a chair being looked over by EMTs. COLE And Shayne Brave being checked for a possible concussion here following that vile chairshot and Eulogy through said chair! Tyler wins a slufest with Ned, then picks apart the announce table. COACH Uh-oh... COLE Tyler Bryant picking apart our table here at ringside... Tyler then grabs a chair, and hits Ned over the head with it, causing him to roll onto the table, as Shayne emerges from his chair and grabs another big ladder from underneath the ring! COLE And Shayne Brave, the possibly concussed Shayne Brave, looks like he's going to climb the ladder here! Shayne makes his way slowly up the ladder, gets his balance on top...and DROPS AN ELBOW ONTO NED THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE~! COLE Shayne from 86 feet in the air, driving the elbow into Ned Blanchard, through our table! COACH ...what? COLE Don't blame me, that's what they tell me to say! HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! Meanwhile, Simon is back up in the ring, and follows Tyler up a ladder. He delivers right hands, knocking Tyler back down to the mat, then hops down and props up an unfolded table in the corner. He grabs Tyler and rams his head into the table, the starts climbing the ladder again. Tyler comes to quickly, and climbs the ladder, as well. The two exchange blows once within range, but Reject slides in and pulls down Simon, while TK springs off a chair, and SPEARS TYLER THROUGH THE TABLE IN THE CORNER~! COLE A Spear by TK! Tyler Bryant right throught the table! As TK and Tyler lay out, Reject grabs one of the big ladders and tosses it over the ropes, right down onto the back of Charlie Moss! COLE And now Charlie Moss taking that ladder to the back! Reject tosses Simon to the outside, then follows him out and whips him into the steel steps! He then grabs the big ladder that Shayne had jumped off of previously, stopping to ram Quentin Benjamin in the gut with it, then propping it up across the entryway, on the guardrails. COACH What is this? Reject then sets up the other big ladder a few feet away from it, before throwing some chops at Moss, and laying him on the ladder. Reject then starts to climb, as the crowd buzzes. COLE Reject going for it all here on Charlie Moss! Reject reaches the top of the ladder, gains his balance, and goes for a SOMERSAULT SENTON~!... ... ...but Moss rolls out of the way, and REJECT GOES THROUGH THE LADDER, BREAKING IT IN HALF~! COACH OH SHIT~! COLE HE BROKE THE LADDER! A 30-foot ladder, broken in half, by a man's body flying through the air! HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! HO-LY SHIT~! COLE Look at the carnage! The camera pans around, catching Reject laying in ladder remnants, Tyler, Shayne, and Ned in table remnants, then back to the ring, where Benjamin hits Simon with a baseball slide, then grabbing one of the normal-sized ladders, as does Moss when he rolls inside. Moss puts his ladder over his head, resting it on his shoulders, while Benjamin holds his low, and the two size up TK as he gets to his feet, then move in, and execute a DOUBLE GOOZLE~! with the ladders! COLE Double goozle on TK, and look at who are the only two men left standing! COACH Oh, this can't be happening! Benjamin shoves TK to the outside, then the two set up their ladders right next to each other, and climb them on opposite sides. COLE Team Heyross climbing the ladders, with no opponents in sight! Benjamin and Moss reach up... COLE They're gonna do it! ...and GRAB THE BELTS!!! COLE YES~! It's over! And we have NEW World tag team champions! It's Team Heyross again! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen! The winners of Tables, Ladders, and Chairs...and NEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW OAOAST tag team champions of the WORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLD...TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMM HEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRRRRRRRRROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! Shine by Collective Soul plays, as Team Heyross jumps off their ladders and look at their newly regained titles, then embrace in mid-ring, before the referee raises their hands. COACH I can't believe it! COLE Well, believe it! Team Heyross is BACK, and they're BACK on top of the tag team division! What a shocker here at AngleSlam! Team Heyross re-ascends the ladders again with the belts. COLE Eight men came into this ring tonight and put their careers on the line, their bodies on the line, in the name of the World tag team titles! But the smoke has cleared... Team Heyross gets close to the top of the ladders, and raise the belts for the fans to see, as they applaud in approval. COLE ...and these two men, Team Heyross, are once again your tag team champions of the world! Team Heyross climbs down, and exits the ring, stepping around Reject, who is just starting to stir after going through the ladder, and raising their belts one last time before exiting into the locker room area. COLE Truly one of the memorable moments in AngleSlam history! And there's plenty more to come! Thursday nights are... Catch the #1 sports and entertainment program on television LIVE every Thursday night on TSM.

COLE Standing by right now, filling in for our regular broadcast colleague Tony Brannigan, who of course has the assignment of being the special guest referee in one-half of tonight’s double main event, here’s Terry Taylor. COACH Hey TT, you ought to feel right at home with your interviewee, being a cock and all. Dressed in a western themed tuxedo, we find Terry at our backstage interview position. TAYLOR Gee, a Red Rooster joke. How original. I bet you spent all night thinking of that gem, huh, Coach? COACH My, aren’t we feisty today, although I guess Krista being nowhere around has something to do with it. TAYLOR Even if Krista was here I’d put her in her place for making a stupid joke like yours. COLE Terry, behind you, it’s Krista! TAYLOR (startled) Krista?! The GLADDiator’s name alone is enough to cause an irregular heartbeat for Terry... COLE & COACH …but it turns out to be an angry MR. DICK, his brand spanking new “100% Pure Penetration” t-shirt (available now on OAOASTShop.com!) knotted to display his heavily oiled rock hard abs. TAYLOR (hyperventilating) Oh, Mr. Dick, it’s only you. MR. DICK (agitated) Shut up, rooster! I’m in no mood to do an interview after what just happened out there. Jade Rodez...YOU ARE A CHEATER! All you did throughout the match was cheat, and don’t think I didn’t see you pull the tights at the end. TAYLOR MR. DICK I guess that’s all your mother could teach you since it seems the only thing the modern day woman knows how to do is have abortions, spend their man‘s hard earned money and then cheat on them. But enjoy that sweet smell of success tonight, girl, because I promise you it won’t be long until the ultimate combination of beauty and beatdowns regains what is rightfully hers, the OAOAST Women‘s Championship. TAYLOR Mr. Dick, if I may… MR. DICK No you may not. The only person who is going to do the talking here is me. And what I have to say is directed towards Baron Windels, or the Original Lone Star Gunslinger as some have taken to calling him. I’ve told him for weeks that, like the defenders of the Alamo, the Alamodome would be his last stand. Win (yeah, right), lose (highly likely) -- or draw (unlikely), we’re through after tonight, you hear me? But I’ll give credit where credit is due, Taylor. Baron Windels has been a worthy adversary, one sided as our feud was. What he lacked in brains was made up in toughness. No matter how bad somebody beat the shit out of him, he’d always keep coming back for more. Though one story ends tonight, another begins. Because after tonight I’m headed straight to the top. You needn’t worry about the future though, Baron, because if you ask nicely enough I might consider reforming our team in between all my World title defenses to help you earn some desperately needed income! Cock-a-doodle-along, Taylor. It’s time for me to show Baron Windels yet again that the cream always rises to the crowd, or on his face! TAYLOR Mr. Dick exits. TAYLOR Mr. Dick is headed out to the ring and so are we. Michael Buffer, take it away! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for the TEXAS BULL ROPE MATCH~! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" "My Dick" penetrates the sound system(!), but it’s a less than pleasurable experience for Mr. Dick. The Human Hard-On welcomed by a partisan crowd of 65,000-plus, golden pyro raining from the ceiling. BUFFER Introducing first, weighing a hard 242 pounds, the man once the toast of the town. A local high school football legend who returns home a villain... MMMISSSSSSSSTEEEEEERRRRR DICK! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Mr. Dick has the camera focus on his oversized belt buckle of an arrow pointing downward at his crotch where a red heart is strategically placed. COACH Look at that heart throb, Mikey. There lies the heartbeat of America, and the world for that matter. COLE It’s come as you are, fans, and Mr. Dick certainly did. Not sure if I agree with his choice of wardrobe, but I’m not hip with the culture so what do I know? Right now, let’s send it over to Terry Taylor with the Lone Star Gunslinger. Same backstage area, same OAOAST correspondent. Only the person at Terry’s side has changed. TAYLOR Baron Windels, the moment has finally arrived. The Gunslinger removes his shirt to reveal the welts and bruises on his back, the result of Thursday night’s attack, and then exits. TAYLOR I guess that says it all, fellas. Baron Windels means business. Back to you. "Thriller" by Fall Out Boy is cued and the crowd ERUPTS. BUFFER And his opponent, who tonight seeks to settle the score with his former tag team partner. Hailing from San Antonio, Texas, and weighing 265 pounds... “THE LONE STAR GUNSLINGER” BAAAAAROOOOOOONNNNNNNN WINDELS!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" The Lone Star Gunslinger bursts out of the saloon and towards the ring, only to be restrained by wrestling’s only true senior official Clem Buzzlefoxer. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” COLE Mr. Dick better send Clem Buzzlefoxer a thank you note after the show because he just saved his life. COACH It’s not a street fight, Cole, it’s a bull rope match. Both guys need to be joined by the wrist before the match can begin. Old man Buzzlefoxer was only doing his job. He’s not one of these activist referees. “BARON!” “BARON!” “BARON!” The atmosphere is electric as Mr. Dick re-enters and is the first strapped to the bull rope. But when it comes time to secure Baron Windels, the Human Hard-On charges forward and leapfrogs the hunched 84-year-old official…but the Lone Star Gunslinger moves and Mr. Dick crashes into the corner! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE There goes the cowboy hat. * DINGDINGDING * COACH And there goes the bell. Baron keeps Mr. Dick isolated and unloads from the second rope, his fists taped. 1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6... 7... 8... 9... 10! Mr. Dick stumbles out of the corner and receives a BULLDOG! Then Baron participates in masochistic activity, WHIPPING the hide off Dickzilla! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Whip him! Whip him like a dog, BW! Mr. Dick reaches forward and dumps Baron over the top, but the Gunslinger lands on the apron and connects with a TOP ROPE LARIAT! Once again flat on his back Mr. Dick finds himself in a vulnerable position. Fist cocked, BW drives the COWBELL… MR. DICK …into the canvas, nobody home after Mr. Dick rolls outside. There he yanks hard on the rope, sending Baron flying out under and into the steel guardrail! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The Human Hard-On pulls his custom-made STEEL CUP out from his tights and BASHES the Lone Star Gunslinger! COACH That’s really using your head. COLE I beg your pardon? COACH Just think about that one for a few seconds. It’s real sophisticated material. Now covered in crimson, Baron is subjected to a brutal lashing, which includes having his Stewie Griffin t-shirt stuffed down his throat! COLE Baron’s homecoming is turning into a nightmare! “BARON!” “BARON!” “BARON!” Bordering on sadism, Mr. Dick is among the thousands chanting Baron’s name. Hands bloody, Mr. Dick almost loses his grip as he drops BW sternum-first on the guardrail. But disaster strikes when Mr. Dick attempts to ram Baron into the ring post, as it’s blocked and he’s the one posted instead! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" The ROAR grows LOUDER as Mr. Dick struggles to his feet drenched in blood! Seeking refuge, he tries to hightail it across the ring forgetting he’s tied to the bull rope, so Baron reels him in and starts wailing away! COLE Baron Windels has been on record stating his goal is to beat some sense into that narcissist and he’s doing just that. His arm beginning to tire from all the whipping, Baron CHOKES Mr. Dick with the bull rope! COACH Oh, no, not again. COLE This is payback right here. Mr. Dick sinks to an all-time low in order to escape, ripping off Clem Buzzlefoxer’s WOODEN LEG to use as a weapon!!! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” COLE What a no good dirty rotten son of a…! COACH I certainly hope that‘s what I think it is. Otherwise Mr. Dick is all walk and no cock. And I never knew Clem had a fake leg. Good for him to still have wood at his age. COLE It’s a little known fact Clem Buzzlefoxer lost a leg fighting in World War II, a traumatic experience he rarely speaks of. Freed after whacking Baron over the head several times, Mr. Dick stomps the Lone Star Gunslinger’s groin with the leg, then flings it back to its rightful owner and, JUST BEING A DICK, delivers another low blow! “YOU SUCK!” “YOU SUCK!” “YOU SUCK!” Grinning from ear to ear, Mr. Dick covers Baron while performing one-handed pushups. COLE What an egotistical jerk he is. Hopefully it won’t end like this. Clem reattaches his leg and makes the count. ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Now Baron’s the one who ought to send Clem a thank you note after the match, because Mr. Dick had it won right there. There was no rush for Clem to reattach his leg. It’s not like it was an ear or anything. He could’ve -- and should’ve -- waited to put that thing back on. Mr. Dick hammers Baron with the COWBELL, then whips him across and uses the BULLROPE to deliver a clothesline! The cover. ONE… TWO… No, Mr. Dick isn’t done yet. Shaking his head, the Cocky Prick sets for a DISCUS PUNCH…but Windels ducks and reels in Mr. Dick to feed the DEVIL’S ADDICTION! Though he could easily go for the pin, Baron wants more time to beat some sense into his former partner. A move that proves to be a mistake as Mr. Dick lands the COCK SHOCK out of nowhere! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ONE… TWO… Kickout. And not a very strong one at that. Mr. Dick hangs Baron in a toe of woe and then heads outside, where he places the Gunslinger’s neck in a makeshift noose and cranks back! COLE Mr. Dick is trying to choke the life out of Baron Windels! COACH And because this isn‘t your normal match he doesn‘t have to break. If Baron passes out he obviously can’t continue. Brilliant move on the part of Mr. Dick. “BARON!” “BARON!” “BARON!” Fueled by the crowd, Baron manages to free his legs and removes the bull rope from around his neck. As he crawls towards the center of the ring, Mr. Dick comes off the top with a FLYING ELBOW, popping to his feet immediately after to boast. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” Suddenly…A HANDFUL OF TEXAS DIRT TO THE EYES! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Germ warfare?! There’s no place for that in this world. Cowbell assisted Cowboy Bebop elbow rattles Mr. Dick, and the MYSPACE COMEBACK knocks him off his feet! The cover. ONE… TWO… NO! Like Mr. Dick earlier in the match, Baron decides he wants to dish out more punishment, setting his physically exhausted former partner on the top for THE SUPERPLEX! ONE… TWO… THREE! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" NO, KICKOUT!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" BARON COLE What have I done Baron Windels must be thinking. He had the match won, but his pursuit of a harsher sentence may have opened the door for Mr. Dick to walk free. Soaked in blood, Baron verbally berates himself for a lapse in judgment, allowing Mr. Dick to come up behind with a CHOP BLOCK! COACH We can officially shut the door on whatever chance Baron had of winning this one after his brain fart a few minutes ago. There’s no question who really carried the Lone Star Gunslingers now. Looking to finish off Baron in spectacular fashion, Mr. Dick tries to HOGTIE him, but the Gunslinger fires back and then delivers a COWBELL NUTSHOT~!!! MR. DICK COLE Dickzilla? More like dickless after that. Baron stares Mr. Dick in the eyes, and then serves up a BRIGHAM YOUNG COCKTAIL DDT! A pin attempt is the last thing on his mind, however. The Lone Star Gunslinger wanting to end the match with his signature BUTT BUMP (BITE MY SHINY METAL ASS)! Now the cover. ONE... TWO... THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner... BAAAAAROOOOOOONNNNNNNN WINDELS!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" His arm raised in victory, Baron stands over Mr. Dick and… BARON (looking down in disgust) TELL ME HOW MY ASS TASTES?! ...following a choice remark SPITS on him! COACH (sarcastically) Great sportsmanship right there. The OAOAST must be real proud to have somebody like Baron Windels on its roster. COLE You damn right it is. That young man exemplifies everything this great sport is about, unlike your buddy who just got defeated.

COLE Up next at AngleSlam, the match for the Women's Championship! Our broadcast colleague Josh Matthews is standing by with the challenger right now. Back at the AngleSlam interview set stands Matthews, with a very pre-occupied looking Jade Rodez. MATTHEWS Jade, we're just moments away from your shot at the Women's Title. Weeks and weeks of intensive training have gone into this match for you and this is it, it's all come down to this. Are you feeling nervous at all, having to step into the ring for a third time with Malaysia Nerdly, who you've never beaten before? JADE Uh... yeah, I mean... ya know, a little? Hehe. Jade rubs her hands together frantically to get her mind on something else, eyes wide. MATTHEWS Stupid question I suppose. Well you're sure to have the support of the thousands in the arena, the millions watching on Pay Per View, not to mention your mother Krista... Jade's hand rubbing gets ever more frenetic. MATTHEWS I'm not really helping, am I? JADE Not really no. MATTHEWS Okay, well I can see you're trying to stay focused so we'd best send it back out... "WOAAAAAHHHHHH GIRL!!" ...you know what, I'm not even going to try and explain why Alix Maria Spezia rides into shot on the back of a white horse and calls it to a stop, with the help of a just in-shot horse trainer. I'm just not even going to attempt it. The fact is, that's what happens, okay. No explanation either for the kilt she's wearing. She just is. Deal with it. JADE Alix!? ALIX The time of reckoning is upon us young warrior! Tonight is your chance to make history, history that will be spoken upon for many a moon to come! Days yore, the good people of San Antonioshire, they will speak of a young woman who showed courage, determination and what a good Los Angeles hairdresser can do for a person! For tonight, you will be a hero! You will defy all odds! For, Malaysia, the enemy. She may well take away folicles of your hair. She may well take a number of your teeth as souvenirs. And there's a pretty good chance that given the chance she'll take your innocence too, if ya know what I mean. But, Jade, SHE WILL NEVER TAKE OUR FREEDOM!!!! Or, uh, ya know, OUR WOMEN'S TITLE!!! JADE Alix... where did you get that horse from!? ALIX Well I didn't get it from Sears, that's for sure! Infact they were quite rude when I enquired with one of their members of staff about it. So fuck you Sears! It don't matter none, son, what's important is it's inspirational! You see a hot chick riding a big ol' horse, you sit up and you take notice of what they're saying, as the rude Sears employee I chased down a narrow alleyway will attest to. Don't tell me you've never seen Braveheart? JADE I saw a trailer for it when I was in high school. ALIX Really? Wouldn't that make me quite old then? Gee I don't like that one bit. JADE Uh... why are... you not wearing any, uh... any underwear? ALIX DUH! Because I'm Scottish! Isn't that right lads? For no reason at all (seriously, you want explanations, you're in the wrong damn place), The Last Kings Of Scotland walk by. DANNY BOY Aye lassie! SCOTTISH SCOTT Aye! ALIX Aye matey! Shiver me timbers and all that! See, now I get why those Scottish people in pirate movies say that. Because wearing no underwear is really making my timbers shiver something rotten right about now! I think I'm gonna go change real quick, you okay waiting here with my horse? JADE I've got my match. ALIX Oh, well, in that case maybe my below the belt nakedness'll work as a great distraction techniqu... JADE NO NO! Rush back and change, I can wait, really! ALIX Well if you insist. I mean, do you want to win this title or what? Sheesh! Alix jumps down off of the horse and the horse trainer takes it safely away, causing Josh to almost faint. JADE Wouldn't it have been quicker to take the horse? ALIX Jade, this is a public place of work, it's no place for an inhebriated woman with no underwear to be riding a horse! Very irresponsible of you to even suggest it. Just wait until I tell your mother, she'll be so proud of you! Ooh-hoo, an up-draft! With a big grin on her face Alix goes skipping off, leaving Jade to go back to dreading the worst about her match again. COACH What I wouldn't have given to have been that horse. COLE Okay, well, the Women's Title match will be coming up momentarily. While we've got a spare moment there's just time to remind you about our next Pay Per View offering on September 28th and that will be entitled Zero Hour, live from Cleveland, Ohio. Just four weeks away now, so start saving your money for that one folks. Not in a bank of course, that'd just be madness with the state of the economy in this country, just stick it all in an old sock or something. COACH Speaking of old socks... COLE There can be no good segueway out of that line, so let's just go up to the ring shall we? *DINGDING!* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall... and, it is for the OAOAST WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP! "Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy) And you don’t care what they say See, every time you turn around They screamin' your name Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy) And you don’t care what they say See, every time you turn around They screamin' your name" The lights flash purple and often as "When I Grow Up" by The Pussycat Dolls hits, bringing out a familiar group of dancers onto the stage. Within the space of a week Jade has upgraded from solo entrance to her mother's trusty dancers all wearing identical cheerleader outfits to hers and launching into a high energy routine! Jade doesn't look any the less nervous for the company and doesn't even try to match the professionals around her, just smiling and waving as the dancers do their work. One person who does join in though is Alix Maria Spezia, arriving a little later, now fully clothed to the disappointment of many I'm sure. Unfortunately she obviously got the wrong memo and is dressed as a cowgirl instead of a cheerleader. Looking confused as to why the dancers aren't dressed like her, she soon forgets all about sartorial differences and launches in with them. COACH Boy, that was a quick wardrobe change. BUFFER Introducing on her way to the ring, the challenger. Accompanied to the ring by ALIX MARIA SPEZIA! She now resides in Los Angeles, California! The second generation starlet with a heart of gold... ladies and gentlemen, she is "LITTLE MISS CALIFORNIA"... JJJJAAAAAAADDEEEEEE... RRRRROOOOODDEEEEEEZZZZZZ - DDUUUUUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAAAAANN!!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" "When I grow up I wanna be famous I wanna be a star I wanna be in movies When I grow up I wanna see the world Drive nice cars I wanna have Groupies" Jade marches to the ring with a nervous look on her face, not in the mood for any dancing. Even more so than usual. She climbs up the ring steps and with a deep breath enters the squared circle, acknowledging the cheers and many signs wishing her good luck with a shy wave. COACH You know, the song says it all, "Be careful what you wish for cause you just might get it." Jade, I know Mommy chose your music for you and really it couldn't be any more inappropriate for you if she tried, but maybe you oughta take a listen and bail on out of here real quick. COLE Jade isn't bailing anywhere Coach. She's worked incredibly hard these past three or four weeks to prepare herself for this match, she wants to win this Women's Title more than anything, to carry on her part of the Duncan legacy. COACH Well that's sweet an' all, but Malaysia's not just beaten Jade twice before, she's completely and utterly squashed her both times! In five minutes or less! Maybe if Jade's spent those four weeks learning some new wrestling moves or how to take sadistic levels of punishment she might be okay this time. But from what I can tell, she's got a cheerleader outfit from a fancy dress shop, took a trip to Krista's hairdresser and played home invasion with her bestest best friends. And that's it. COLE She's done a lot more than that Coach. She's been learning from two of the very best, her mother and Alix Maria Spezia. Their methods might not be conventional but they're successful. The out-of-breath Alix belatedly makes it to the ring in Jade's corner, just in time as the sound of a whip cracking starts up "Wild Side" by Motley Crue. Jade takes a big cartoonish gulp as the mighty frame of the Women's Champion, Malaysia Nerdly, forms on the entrance way. Carrying her cat o' nine tails, Malaysia smiles to herself looking down on the ring, rubbing the main plate of her Women's Title. BUFFER And, introducing her opponent. Hailing from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. She is the ultimate combination of beauty and beatdowns... the reigning and defending OAOAST Women's Champion... MMMMAAAAALLLAAAAYYYYYSSSIIIIIAAAAAAAA... NNEEEEERRRRRRDDLLLLLLYYYYYY!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Malaysia cracks her whip on the floor in the aisle, unnerving a good number of the fans nearby. Not to mention Jade, who looks to Alix for a little moral support and finds her mother's girlfriend cowering behind the ring steps. COLE That is one sick pup right there. The Women's Champion, who has absolutely dominated the women's division since she showed up at Jock Mulligan's side months ago, to the point that Jade is the only female in the OAOAST who's agreed to face her in weeks, let alone requested it herself! Malaysia takes her sweet time climbing the ring steps, giving them a crack with the nine tails as well sending a metallic thud ringing out. From the outside, Alix points out Jade as the one who challenged her in hopes that she'll be left unharmed. Referee Charles Robinson quickly takes away the whip as Malaysia enters, taking the Women's Title belt as well and holding it overhead for the crowd. Before putting it outside he gives Jade a chance to look at it. COLE Here we go, can Jade finally slay the mighty Malaysia? *DINGDINGDING!* And with that the bell sounds. Jade looks nervous to leave her corner, as Malaysia leans back in hers with that same sick smile. COACH So, how long before Jade's forced to drop the Duncan name after she shames it again tonight? I give it a week to let the paperwork go through. COLE Why do you always have to keep bagging on Jade? She's just a sweet, simple girl from Grand Rapids, what's wrong with that? COACH Well, plenty if you ask Krista, else she wouldn't be doing this whole makeover thing. Jade gets the crowd clapping to try and boost a little confidence she's lacking, before the first tentative lock-up. However Malaysia has no interest in locking up and as she strokes her hand down Jade's newly styled hair, the freaked out challenger breaks away and scurries back to her corner. Alix is quickly called into action and with a mischevious smile, she imparts some advic-- JADE NO! Eww, oh my God, no, I'm not doing that! No! Shrugging, Alix walks off and tells Jade "fine, do it your way, prude" leaving us to only speculate what Alix's idea could have been. Shaking it off, Jade goes tentatively back to Malaysia and this time they do lock up. Malaysia immediately muscles her opponent back into the corner and pens her in. "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FIVE!" Malaysia gives a clean break, but only after having spent the five count staring into Jade's eyes and further unnerving her. Malaysia backs up and encourages Jade to come to her. And having had enough of being intimidated, Jade runs forward and smacks Malaysia across the jaw with an elbow strike! COLE Oh, there we go! What a shot by Jade! COACH And what little effect it had, look! Wiping at her jaw Malaysia continues to smile away, nodding her head to show that she likes it, she really likes it. Jade looks confused about what to do next at seeing this and runs in, connecting with a second elbow! More head-nodding is the only response she gets though. So Jade rushes past Malaysia and comes off the ropes looking for more momentum. But Malaysia's eyes suddenly light up at the last second, and with a gleeful look as if to say 'your turn', she cuts Jade off with a devestating clothesline!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH And that's the beginning of the end. How close to the end just depends on how long Malaysia's gonna drag this out. Which could be a while, because she's having so much fun right now. Jade holds her jaw and tries to crawl out of the ring, but is stopped by Malaysia placing her foot on her back. With Jade pinned down Malaysia then places her foot on Jade's hand and pushes up on the top rope, standing with all her body-weight on the hand causing Jade to scream in pain! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FI..." Break by Malaysia. Jade writhes around on the mat holding her hand and Malaysia takes a second to savour her moans of pain. COACH You think Malaysia's into cheerleaders Michael? COLE What sort of a question is that!? COACH I like to think she is. Ya know, so naive, so innocent, so unused to the pain that she adores. How horny must Malaysia be right now? COLE You're sick. Malaysia drags Jade back up and holds her in a one-hand chinlock, bringing her left arm around with a crushing forearm shot to the chest. As Jade drops to her knees Malaysia's smile suddenly disappears though, as she sees Alix on the outside eagerly waving her arms. Doing her best to ignore the distraction Malaysia picks Jade up, clubbing her with another forearm. Still Alix keeps waving though and Malaysia stops for a second. Before Alix can capitalise on the distraction though, Malaysia suddenly FISHOOKS Jade and shocks Alix into (momentary) silence! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FI..." Again Malaysia breaks on five, but gets a warning from the referee. She then turns back to Alix... to find The Hollywood Bad Girl waving her cat o'nine tails at her!! Malaysia's eyebrows furrow and she goes to confront Alix, only to stop in her tracks as Alix starts to grind seductively with the whip between her teeth! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Sending the San Antonio crowd into rapture isn't neccessarily tough. But Alix manages to do the tougher task, keeping Malaysia's attention transfixed on her. And it allows Jade to recover, turning around and delivering a PUNCH DOWNSTAIRS ON MALAYSIA!! The Women's Champion doubles over in shock and Jade forces her down into a roll-up... 1... 2... KICKOUT! COACH Di... did she just use a lowblow!? COLE That might be one way to pour some cold water on Malaysia's advances. And no prizes for guessing who taught Jade the virtues of that move. Malaysia looks angry now as she gets to her feet, even the elbow strikes of Jade not enough to make her smile about this pain. Firing four quick shots, Jade hits the ropes. This time she anticipates the wild swing of Malaysia and ducks her clothesline, coming off the far ropes and delivering a front dropkick on the run, catching Malaysia in the stomach. The force knocks Malaysia back into the ropes, Jade drawing off the cheers of the crowd as she comes charging in... getting backdropped over the top, but saved from a hard spill to the floor by Alix! Alix helps her back onto the apron, where Jade delivers an instinctive shoulder through the ropes. From there Jade looks a little lost, so Alix gives her a 'helpful' shove up over the ropes into a sunset flip... ...NO! Malaysia hangs onto the rope to block being taken down! ALIX Hey, referee, tell Melody to get her hand off the ropes! MALAYSIA I'm not Melody! ALIX Oh, okay Maggie... no no, wait, Mindy, right? Or is it Molly? No no, she's the chick with the camera... uh, no, don't tell me, it's on the tip of my tongue... err, Marvin? Monica? Maria? Makela? ...Abdullah!? MALAYSIA GRRRRR... IT'S MALAYSIAAaaaaaaa!! Malaysia forgets where she is and falls back into the pin! 1... 2... NO! Jade is up quickly and latches onto Malaysia with a sleeper hold. With pure brute strength Malaysia climbs to her feet anyway though and rams Jade back into the turnbuckles! COLE The power of this woman is unbelievable. COACH Malaysia is unbelievable. Even two on one, Jade is no match for Malaysia. Sitting Jade on the top turnbuckle, Malaysia grabs two handfuls of hair before YANKING her back down to the canvas! Jade lands with a thud and groans in pain, giving Malaysia the chance to get her bearings back. As soon as she does, she leaves Jade behind though, going to the outside in pursuit of Alix! The fans rise to their feet as Alix is ready for Malaysia, whip in hand brandished like a ninja weapon. But referee Robinson is able to get in between them before they can come to blows. Malaysia is ordered back into the ring, before Robinson takes drastic measures to get control and risks being lynched by the people of San Antonio as he THROWS ALIX OUT!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE I think the referee's had enough of Alix's distractions and this crowd doesn't like it one bit! But Alix is being sent to the back! COACH It's about time too. Take away Jade's safety blanket and let's see how tough she is! Alix tries to protest, tries to reason, tries to seduce Robinson with a sultry dance with Malaysia's whip. None of them are working though and Alix is banished to the backstage area. With her best puppy-dog eyes she sulks off, leaving Jade without any guidance as Malaysia stalks towards her in the ring. With no distractions to bother her, Malaysia picks Alix up by the wrist and pulls her into a knee to the stomach. By the hair, she again throws Jade hard to the canvas. Malaysia then delivers a big legdrop and covers... 1... 2... No! Realising all alone, Jade shows some fight and catches Malaysia in a casual moment with a punch to the gut. And another. But Malaysia just shrugs them off and clubs Jade in the back. Malaysia then delivers a backbreaker, before stretching the challenger out across the knee. "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" COLE Jade might not have Alix's moral support anymore, but she's got these thousands of San Antonians in her corner! COACH Oh good, maybe one of them knows a shortcut to the hospital. Fists clenched, Jade feeds off the energy and manages to get her knee up into Malaysia's chest. A second knee catches Malaysia a little higher. And a well placed third lands on the ear, allowing Jade to escape the submission. Her freedom doesn't last long though. Malaysia grabs Jade before she can get away and drags her away from the ropes, grabbing her in a waistlock and looking for a suplex. Jade kicks her feet frantically and refuses to be taken over, managing to counter with an unorthodox looking chin breaker! Straight back up is Malaysia though and she shoulder charges Jade, right back into a corner. Jade falls to a knee and Malaysia presses her throat against the middle rope. "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" Malaysia whips Jade across the ring, charging in... and MISSING with a corner splash! COLE Now here's an opening! Can Jade capitalise? Hitting the ropes, Jade launches herself with a crossbody... CAUGHT! Malaysia catches Jade with ease and sends her flying with a Fallaway Slam!! "OOOHHHHHHHHHH!" COACH Well there's a surprise, she failed. Malaysia crawls over and covers... 1... 2... NO! Malaysia looks surprised at the kickout, but soon consoles herself with the fact she can dish out some more pain. She pulls Jade up, lifting her over her shoulder and tries to position her in the Gory Special. Jade struggles around trying to get free... but can't and is soon being stretched in all sorts of unnatural positions! COACH Oh yeah, she's got her on the rack now! You know she's got a rack down in the Nerdly family basement? What do you reckon she uses that for? COLE I dread to think. In immense pain Jade shouts out and brings the smile flooding back to Malaysia's face. Jade's face is etched in agony and referee Robinson is right there ready to call for the submission. But the crowd sense Jade is in trouble and increase their support again. And it seems to work. Malaysia lets Jade suffer for a few more seconds before starting to bend even further forward to apply even more pressure to the human rack. It looks like Jade is moments away from calling it quits with her spine being torqued to near breaking point. But she's doing this for Krista and something suddenly kicks in, Duncan DNA perhaps, as she lets out a loud groan... not of pain, but of exertion, fighting against the hold and arching herself back the other way!! Malaysia looks shocked and doesn't react in time to stop Jade, reversing the hold into a sunset flip pin... COLE COUNTER BY JADE! 1... 2... NO! Malaysia strikes first with a knee to cut Jade off at the pass. COLE And just as Jade was starting to get something going, Malaysia shuts her right back down. COACH Yeah, I mean, Jade's faring better than she ever has. Even I admit it's an improvement. But she's still no match for Malaysia! With a scowl Malaysia pulls Jade up onto her shoulders. Turning away from the ropes, she then DRIVES her down with a Powerbomb and stacks her on her shoulders for the pin... COACH That's it. 1... 2... KICKOUT!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE NO! It's NOT it! This is Jade's night, this is the defining night of her young life and she's not about to go down without a fight!! COACH Alright, calm down dude. Malaysia grabs Jade and calls for the end, before hoisting her up again. Up on the shoulders Jade suddenly sparks to life though, raining down punches to the head. With Malaysia dazed, Jade then pushes herself forward AND DROPS MALAYSIA WITH A DDT!! COLE What a move! Jade with a counter, from the jaws of possible doom from that second powerbomb! COACH Where did she get THAT from!? COLE Take a wild guess! Both Jade and Malaysia are down and referee Robinson starts his standing ten count. The crowd are loud in trying to wake Jade up, seeing an opportunity for her. Jade stirs first to their excitement. COLE Come on Jade, make the cover! You can do it! And she does! 1... 2... NO! "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" Slow to their feet, Malaysia and Jade are both up at the same time. But it's Jade who's got the adrenaline rush and she strikes first, stunning Malaysia with some elbows. With all her strength she manages to whip Malaysia into a corner, before following her in with Double Knees~! Jade runs the ropes as Malaysia staggers out of the corner. The challenger ducks a clothesline and comes to a stop, catching Malaysia with the Gamengiri as she turns around! COLE Kick to the face, she could have it! Cover by an eager Jade... 1... 2... NO! COLE Again only two! But it seems like the longer this match goes, the more confidence Jade is feeling in herself and it's that confidence that's making all the difference, because the Women's Champion is on the ropes like we've never seen! Firing up again the challenger watches Malaysia to her feet, then paws her with an open left hand. Then paws her with an open right. With a guttural shout, Jade then pulls a 360... NO! Malaysia cuts her off with a boot. The Women's Champion then pulls Jade in and again signals for the end. COACH You were saying? COLE Could it be that devestating piledriver of Malaysia's? If it is, it's dream over! Malaysia elevates Jade up over her shoulder... but Jade kicks and struggles to escape down the back! Reaching back Jade tries to hook Malaysia up for a backslide. Malaysia refuses to go though and spins Jade to face her, shoving her back a step and delivering a HARD Yakuza style kick to the chest! Jade is almost turned inside out and Malaysia stacks her on her shoulders for the quick pin attempt... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Malaysia has never had this much problem putting an opponent away, she's never encountered this much resistance before. And you have to wonder if she's getting frustrated. COACH Probably. She's had her fun, now it's time for Jade to slink off and lick her wounds. Stalking Jade, Malaysia charges and bowls her over with a clothesline. Jade is rolled right the way over this time and slumps sadly to the mat, on her last legs. MALAYSIA OVER! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" With handfuls of hair she then pulls Jade to her knees. With Jade's hair tearing at the roots she stops and savours the strands of blonde for a couple of seconds, before looking to finally finish Jade off. Reaching down she gutwrenches Jade and muscles her back up over the shoulder. COACH Here it comes. Malaysia carries Jade around and picks her spot, centre of the ring... ...but suddenly stops. In a last ditch effort to save herself Jade grabs a hold of Malaysia's hair and tugs away! Malaysia lets out a shout as it's her roots being tugged at for once, that shout soon turning into a moan of pleasure as the pain starts to sink in. But in this moment of pleasure, she finds herself distracted from the job at hand. After a few more tugs Jade starts to feel Malaysia's grip soften. And she's able to turn to her side a little. COACH Come on, drop her! Drop her already! COLE No, she's fighting it Coach, Jade is fighting it! COACH No, no! Malaysia finally realises what's going on and clamps her hands back together... but by now it's too late, as Jade pushes herself off of Malaysia's shoulder, still holding onto the hair of the Women's Champion... ...AND BRINGING HER DOWN WITH A REVERSE X-FACTOR!!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH COLE THE MOVE! THE COVER? Jade even looks shocked for a second, before snapping to life to capitalise, jumping on top of Malaysia and hooking the legs... 1... 2... 3!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE YES! YES YES, JADE DID IT, JADE WINS!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* In shock and elation Jade slaps her hands to her face and climbs to her feet, looking at the referee as if waiting for him to shake his head and say it was only two. But instead Robinson raises her hand in victory and Jade starts to jump for joy around the ring! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the contest... and the NNEEEEEEEEWWWWW OAOAST WOMEN'S CHAMPION... JJJAAAAAADDEEEE RRRROOOOOOODDEEEEEEZZZZ - DDUUUUUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAAANN!!!! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE What a scene in San Antonio! A year ago Jade Rodez broke from the shackles of The Enterprise! And on this night, after a year of heartache and upheaveal, Jade has done what no other woman could do, she has beaten Malaysia Nerdly and she has won the OAOAST Women's Championship! Absolutely unbelievable! Do you believe in miracles!? COACH Well, I didn't, but... this is a miracle alright! Jade is handed the Women's Championship and she clutches it in her arms, close to tears. Her celebration is cut short by Malaysia Nerdly getting to her feet, holding the back of her head and raging. She rages at no-one in particular though as Jade and the referee are quickly out of the ring and out of harm's way down the aisle. Still wide-eyed in disbelief, Jade raises the title over her head and lets out a relieved shout, cheered wildly by the crowd. COLE This is a fantastic moment and I'm so pleased to be a part of it. After all Jade has gone through, tonight she's done her mother Krista proud. The Duncan name is in safe hands Coach! COACH Yeah, yeah, whatever. COLE And she crammed all your taunts down your throat, didn't she? COACH Yeah, take it easy, okay? Nobody likes a gloater. In her celebration Jade raises the title belt one last time to the crowd before she disappears through the curtains and gets backstage. Tired, she walks weakly. But she suddenly gets a burst of energy as she sees Krista backstage waiting for her, running over and jumping into her mother's arms in delight. Alix looks like a third wheel for a second and joins in the hug as well so as not to feel left out. COLE It's a Duncan family celebration at AngleSlam! Jade, Krista and Alix's hug continues... ...as we cut away, into the locker room of The In Crowd, to see none other than LEON RODEZ watching all this on a TV monitor. With hands on hips, Leon wears a glum smile on his face as he rests a hand on the TV set watching her niece's celebration. Behind him, Zack Malibu walks by and stops with a look of concern. ZACK You okay man? LEON ...huh? Yeah... yeah, I'm great. Why wouldn't I be? Leon turns the TV set off as we.... Cut backstage to Josie Baker's office, where Josie has just hung up the phone. JOSIE Come in! Thunderkid and Reject walk into the office. JOSIE Ah, I've been expecting you two. We've got some things to discuss. REJECT Damn right we do. Did you see that little wimp announcer take a cheap shot at me? JOSIE First, watch your language when you talk to me. Second, I did see it, and I will take it up with him later. So don't worry about that. Just worry about your three opponents in that tag match later... TK Whoa, whoa, whoa, back up. What do you mean, three opponents? It's just us, the Blonds and D*LUX! JOSIE I'll get to that later. But as for you, Reject, you should be thankful you're not sharing a prison cell with Bohemoth right now! REJECT JOSIE You better get your shit together, or I will have it done for you, do you understand? REJECT (pause) *sigh* Yes. JOSIE Now, go get ready for your match. TK But what about... JOSIE Later! TK and Reject get up and leave the office, as Josie looks on.

*DING DING DING* BUFFER LLLLLLLLLLLLLadies and gentlemen...our opening match of the night here at AngleSlam from San Antonio, will be the Riverwalk Invitational 20-man battle royal! Rock Your Baby by George McCrae plays, as the lights go out and a massive disco ball lowers from the ceiling. The entryway then turns dark purple and fills with light smoke, as Vinny Valentine dances through the curtains, followed by Biff Atlas and Tony Tourettes. BUFFER Introducing the participants...coming to the ring at this time...PANIC AT THE DISSSSSSSSSSCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Including "THE DISCO DUCK" VINNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY VVVVVVVVVVALENTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNE!!!!! BIFFFFFFFFFFF ATLASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! TONYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY TOURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRETTESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! COLE And I'm being told now that Tony is actually a participant in this battle royal, so that takes care of one of the two unannounced names in this! Vinny slides into the ring and begins to dance as the lights come back on. Sweet Home Chicago hits, and Jumbo struts through the curtains, followed by Deuce Deuce Bigelow. COACH Whoa, wait a minute, did you just say that Tony Tourettes is in this battle royal? COLE That's what I was told from the back! COACH That guy's not a wrestler! What's he gonna do out there? BUFFER Introducing...JUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! following Jumbo...DEUCE DEUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCE BIGELOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!! COLE Deuce with an impressive showing against Sandman9000 in a Heartland title match a couple weeks ago, and you have to figure him to have a good chance, as well as Jumbo due to their size! Easy Lover hits, and Rico de Janiero walks out, along with Sweet Lucius Soul. BUFFER RICO DE JANIERO and SWEET LUCIUS SOUL...THE MARDI GRAS HOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEWRECKINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG CREWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!! COLE Tough tag team in the MGHC, making their way out for the battle royal! The MGHC's exchange high tens with Vinny when they get to the ring. Tom Sawyer by Rush hits, and "After Hours" Felix Strutter makes his way through the curtains...followed by Denzel Spencer and Reggie Lamont! COACH What is this? The three slap hands with the fans as they come down the aisle. BUFFER Coming down the aisle...The CANNNNNNNNNNNN-JAMMMMMMMMMMMMMM CONNECTIONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!! Featuring "AFTER HOURS" FFFFFFFFFELIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXX SSSSSSSSTRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRUTTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! DENNNNNNNNZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLL SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSPENCCCCCCCCCCCCCERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREGGIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAMONT!!!!! COLE Well, apparently these guys sat down and talked things out after that big six-man tag on Syndicated, and now look to have formed a six-man unit of their own! And what talent in that trio! COACH Well, the Can-Jam Connection is what Buffer called them! Like the Angel hits, and the crowd gets to its feet for MEL and MARV. COLE And now a very talented duo, former World tag team champions on their way out! BUFFER MEL and MARV...THE CHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRISSSSSSSST AIRRRRRRRRRR EXXXXXXXXPRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! MEL and MARV roll in and pose on the buckles, as No Chance in Hell plays, and Spanish Fly makes his way through the curtains, followed by Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua. COLE And here comes another couple of big ones in this group! BUFFER Members of the former Lightning Crew...first...SSSSSSSSSSSSSSPANISHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!! CUUUUUBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!! MISTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORICUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! The three men climb into the ring, and Wall begins shadow boxing as Fix Up, Look Sharp hits, and the crowd pops bigtime for Jamie O'Hara. COLE And here comes the winner of the Land of Opportunity battle royal just last month! BUFFER "THE BIRMINGHAM BAD BOY" JAMIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO'HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! O'Hara jumps into the ring and starts jawing with Spanish Fly, as hits, and Nathaniel Black and Faqu make their way to the ring. COLE Members of Cucaracha International making their way to the battle royal! BUFFER Representing Cucaracha International...they are two-thirds of the OAOAST Six-Man tag team champions...introducing first, NNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHANIELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL LL BLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!! His partner, "THE SAMOAN WRECKING BALL" FAQUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!! COACH I think I gotta go with Faqu as the favorite here, Cole! There's a lot of big guys in there, but none of them as tough as this guy! COLE Faqu is definitely a guy you have to look at, but don't count out this man, making his return to the ring! "Come on God, Answer Me. For Years, I've Been Asking You Why? Why are the Innocent Dead and the Guilty Alive? Where is Justice? Where is Punishment? . . . . . . . . . . . Or Have You Already Answered? Have You Already Said to the World, Here is Justice. Here is Punishment. Here.... In Me." Punishment by BIOHAZARD starts up, and the crowd goes crazy as Brock Ausstin walks out and stops at the top of the ramp, and starts doing his "Happy Happy Hoss Dance~!" BUFFER Making his return to the ring after a four-month absence..."THE CURRENT BIG THING" BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROCK AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!! Brock stalks to the ring, then hops onto the apron, and jerks back on the ropes, causing pyro to explode from all four corners. He then climbs into the ring and does his "Happy Happy Hoss Dance~!" COLE And all that's left is our one remaining surprise entrant. COACH It's not a surprise, Cole, it's the same goof who's a "surprise" in every battle royal we do! Black Sweat hits, and DESTRUCTICITY in the form of MISTER Warrior comes storming down the aisle. Buffer starts to make the announcement, but MISTER Warrior chases him out of the ring. *DING DING DING* MISTER Warrior runs to the ropes, and floors both members of the MCHG with a DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE! He then levels Spanish Fly with a roundhouse right! Big chop for Cuban Wall! He then delivers chops to Faqu, which have little effect. Faqu grabs MISTER Warrior by the hair, and delivers a BIG headbutt, followed by a thrust kick, which sends MISTER Warrior backwards over the top to the floor! The crowd boos the early elimination. COACH MISTER Warrior collecting his paycheck for the night! Thanks for coming! Warrior then lets out a big roar, before running back to the locker room. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 1st elimination: MISTER Warrior eliminated: none eliminated by: Faqu ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Faqu is jumped from behind by Mr. Boricua, as Vinny and Biff go to work on Denzel Spencer, with Tony watching on from the outside. COLE Well, I was told that Tony was a participant here, but he's hanging out on the outside! COACH Shades of George "The Animal" Steele at WrestleMania IV! Reggie Lamont gives Denzel a hand, as Nathaniel Black and Felix Strutter slug it out in a corner. Meanwhile, Deuce ducks a clothesline from Mr. Boricua, and hits a DROPKICK, sending Boricua backwards over the top to the floor! COACH Whoa! COLE And there goes one of the big ones already, Mr. Boricua gone! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 2nd elimination: Mr. Boricua eliminated: none eliminated by: Deuce Deuce Bigelow ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Wall stomps away on Deuce on the mat, as Jumbo executes a DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER on Vinny and Biff, then scoops Vinny up and dumps him over the top to the apron! However, as he attempts to bend over and push him off, Tony reaches up and grabs his shirt, pulling him to the floor! COACH COLE And Jumbo gone, courtesy of Tony from the floor! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 3rd elimination: Jumbo eliminated: none eliminated by: Tony Tourettes ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Jumbo gets to his feet, and begins to chase Tony around the ring! Tony climbs inside, then runs to the other side and climbs over the top, then falls to the floor, eliminating himself! COLE And I guess Tony eliminated now, if he was ever in to begin with! Jumbo chases Tony all the back into the locker room. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 4th elimination: Tony Tourettes eliminated: Jumbo eliminated by: himself ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Back to the ring, MEL and Spanish Fly hit Faqu and Brock Ausstin, respectively, with dropkicks, sending them backwards into each other, at which point they turn around and face off! COACH Oh, look at this staredown, Cole! The crowd starts to eat it up, as Faqu throws his arms up as if to say "come on!" The MCHG interjects themselves, and get tossed to the floor on opposite sides! COLE And both members of the Homewrecking Crew hit the showers! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 5th elimination: Rico de Janiero eliminated: none eliminated by: Faqu ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 6th elimination: Sweet Lucius Soul eliminated: none eliminated by: Brock Ausstin ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Faqu and Brock then turn back to one another, and move in closer, until Cuban Wall attacks Brock from behind. Reggie Lamont hammers away on Faqu, but Faqu shrugs it off and delivers a headbutt, then tosses Reggie to the floor! COLE Another one gone, Reggie Lamont! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 7th elimination: Reggie Lamont eliminated: none eliminated by: Faqu ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Strutter lands right on top of Reggie, via a backdrop! COLE And now Felix eliminated! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 8th elimination: "After Hours" Felix Strutter eliminated: none eliminated by: Faqu ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COACH And Faqu on a roll here, looks like my prediction may be coming true, Cole! Faqu grabs MEL and MARV by their heads, and delivers a MASSIVE headbutt, then tosses BOTH over the top at the same time! COACH WOW! COLE And Faqu IS rolling here! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 9th/10th elimination: The Christ Air Express eliminated: none eliminated by: Faqu ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ On the other side of the ring, Biff and Vinny attempt a double suplex on Brock, but Brock blocks, then powers out, and clotheslines BOTH to the floor! COLE But not to be outdone, Brock Ausstin sends Panic at the Disco packing! Fly attempts a flying bodypress, but Brock catches him, then moves him up to his shoulders, and executes an F-STUNNER-5 to the floor, right down on top of PATD! COLE A two-man show here in the 20-man battle royal! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 11th/12th elimination: Panic at the Disco eliminated: none eliminated by: Brock Ausstin ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 13th elimination: Spanish Fly eliminated: none eliminated by: Brock Ausstin Left in ring: Brock Ausstin, Cuban Wall, Denzel Spencer, Deuce Deuce Bigelow, Faqu, Jamie O'Hara, Nathaniel Black ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE And just like that, we're down to seven men left! Wall drives a BIG BOOT~! into the face of Brock, as Black goes after Spencer, but gets attacked by O'Hara. Meanwhile, Faqu and Deuce engage in a slugfest in a corner! COLE Two big guys going at it here, who's going to blink first? Faqu gets the better of the slugfest, then scoops up Deuce for a big bodyslam! COLE And look at the power of the Samoan Wrecking Ball! Faqu lets out a yell, as Denzel leaps HIGH off the top and catches him with a bodypress! COACH Wow, did you see how high he got, Cole? Brock then grabs Denzel as he celebrates, and sets him up for the F-STUNNER-5~!!!!!11111, but Denzel slips behind Brock, then turns him around and grabs him around the neck, leaping up and putting his knees into his face, and falling back, driving them into Brock's face! COLE And a nice facebuster there, too! Wall then grabs Spencer from behind and tosses him over the top, but Spencer hangs on, and skins the cat! Wall sees this and makes his way over, but gets headscissored by Denzel! Wall is upside down on the top rope, when Jamie O'Hara flies over with a seated dropkick, sending him to the floor! COACH Oh no! COLE Cuban Wall eliminated! Down to six! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 14th elimination: Cuban Wall eliminated: none eliminated by: Denzel Spencer, Jamie O'Hara ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COACH That's got to be an upset, Cole, I mean, Cuban Wall actually WON the Lethal Rumble match this year, he had to be a huge favorite coming into this! COLE Well Coach, as you know, anything can happen in one of these matches! O'Hara goes after Faqu, but Faqu sends him to the apron! He withstands a couple shots to Faqu, and fires some back! COLE Look at Jamie O'Hara fight here! Faqu seems to be backed off a bit, but suddenly Black delivers a big running knee to O'Hara, sending him to the floor! COACH WHOA~! COLE And Nathaniel Black, with a BIG knee strike, eliminating Jamie O'Hara! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 15th elimination: Jamie O'Hara eliminated: Cuban Wall (co) eliminated by: Nathaniel Black ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COACH Could be a big night for Cucaracha International here tonight! Deuce hammers away on Faqu some more, as Black goes to work on Brock. Deuce makes the mistake of trying to headbutt Faqu, and takes a thrust kick to the mush, sending him into the ropes, then Faqu charges in with a clothesline, sending Deuce to the floor! COLE Deuce is gone! Faqu dominant here in this battle royal! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 16th elimination: Deuce Deuce Bigelow eliminated: Mr. Boricua eliminated by: Faqu Final Four: Brock Ausstin, Denzel Spencer, Faqu, Nathaniel Black ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COACH Final Four time, baby! Faqu and Black get together in a corner, while Spencer offers his partnership in the form of a handshake to Brock, who accepts. COLE And it looks like we're gonna tag off here! The four men move in, and Black and Faqu swing first, Denzel and Brock duck, and deliver right hands! Faqu and Brock brawl into a corner, while Denzel backs Black in and fires off rights, as the crowd counts along! 1!!! 2!!! 3!!! 4!!! 5!!! 6!!! 7!!! 8!!! Faqu approaches the corner, having got the better of his slugfest, but Denzel senses him coming, and flies back with a bodypress! COLE Look at Denzel go! However, Black makes his way over to Denzel, and pulls him off with the CROSSFACE CHICKEN WING~!!!!!11111 COLE Black with the crossface on Denzel Spencer! Faqu gets to his feet, and lays the boots into the open Denzel, then, as Black releases the hold, gives Brock another stomp, before joining Black in tossing Denzel to the floor! COLE And Denzel Spencer, a great effort, but he is eliminated! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 17th elimination: Denzel Spencer eliminated: Cuban Wall (co) eliminated by: Faqu, Nathaniel Black ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE And now we're down to three! COACH And Brock is in big trouble! Brock gets to his feet, and looks across at the smiling Black and at Faqu, who is ready for battle as always. COLE It's Brock Ausstin, in his return to the ring, in there against two members of Cucharacha Internacional! COACH Two of the reigning six-man tag champs, no less! Black and Faqu move in on Brock, who begins throwing right hands at both men! COLE But look at Brock fight the odds! However, Faqu interrupts with a thrust to the throat, then holds him for some big strikes from Black. COLE Brock wide open right now for Nate, who is known for his striking ability! Faqu and Black then set Brock up on the ropes, and attempt to dump him! COLE And Brock could go right here! However, Brock manages to deliver some big blows to the back of Faqu, and gets himself down, but Black rakes the eyes from behind. Black then holds Brock for Faqu, who lays in some chops and a headbutt. The two set up Brock on the ropes, and whip him across, but Brock ducks a clothesline, and floors them with a double clothesline of his own! COLE Brock right back once again! Brock starts to deliver some rights to Black, then goes for a big right, but Black ducks...which allows Brock to see Faqu coming with a kick, which he ducks, and Faqu drills Black! COACH Oh no! COLE And Faqu flooring his own stablemate with that thrust kick! Faqu looks down for a second, but Brock spins him around, and executes an OVERHEAD BELLY-TO-BELLY~! COLE BIG suplex from Brock, to the Samoan Wrecking Ball! As Black works his way to his feet, Brock whips Faqu into a corner, but Faqu bounces right out, and hits him with a Vader-esque body attack! Black then approaches Faqu...and slaps him right across the face! COLE Look at that! COACH Oh, come on, you guys! Faqu stalks Black around the ring, then traps him in a corner, and executes two big headbutts! COACH I don't believe this! Faqu then scoops Black up in a fireman's carry and tries to dump him, but Black goes to the eyes. Black slides down, and Brock charges with a clothesline. Black drops down, and Brock hits Faqu with the clothesline, sending him to the floor! COLE FAQU IS GONE! COACH Nooooo! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 18th elimination: Faqu eliminated: MISTER Warrior, Rico de Janiero, Reggie Lamont, Felix Strutter, The Christ Air Express, Deuce Deuce Bigelow, Denzel Spencer (co) eliminated by: Brock Ausstin left in ring: Brock Ausstin, Nathaniel Black ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The crowd cheers loudly, as Black ambushes Brock from behind, desperately throwing forearms and right hands, then backing into the ropes, and going for a clothesline... ...but Brock ducks, and lifts him for the F-STUNNER-5~!!!!!11111 ...Black slips off, and goes for the CROSSFACE CHICKEN WING~!!!!!11111 ...but Brock spins out, and executes an OVERHEAD BELLY-TO-BELLY, sending Black over the top, right onto Faqu on the floor! COLE THAT's IT! Brock Ausstin has won the battle royal! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 19th elimination: Nathaniel Black eliminated: Jamie O'Hara, Denzel Spencer (co) eliminated by: Brock Ausstin ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ****************************************************** WINNER: Brock Ausstin eliminated: Sweet Lucius Soul, Panic at the Disco, Spanish Fly, Faqu, Nathaniel Black ****************************************************** Brock walks around the ring, clenching his fists out to the sides while letting out a big yell. BUFFER The winner of the battle royal..."THE CURRENT BIG THING" BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROCK AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!! COACH I can't believe what just happened, Cole! Cucuaracha Internacional looks like they have it under control, and then a little in-fighting costs them the match! As Brock continues to celebrate, Faqu is trying to get back into the ring, as Black holds him back. James Blonde also comes out in his street clothes to hold back the Samoan Wrecking Ball. COLE Faqu wants back in there, but the match is over now! What a return by Brock Ausstin here at AngleSlam, the winner of the Riverwalk Invitational battle royal! Right now, Josh Matthews is telling us to cut to the back, Josh, are you there? The camera cuts to the parking lot, where a limo pulls in, and the Deadly Alliance climbs out, as the crowd in the arena boos. Josh makes a beeline for Reject. JOSH Yes, I'm here, Michael, and I've been waiting since Thursday to talk to you, Reject! Reject looks at Josh and sighs, then looks up at the rest of the DA. REJECT I'll catch up. Reject then looks back down at Josh. REJECT All right, little man, get it out of your system. JOSH I don't get it, Reject. What has been going through your mind lately? The things you've put everyone through...the way you hospitalized Molly Nerdly, the way you assaulted Megan Skye, the pain you've put Maggie and Leon through...have you ever thought about any... REJECT Stop right there, little man. JOSH It's Jo... REJECT Shut up. That last part you said...it's really funny to me. It's really funny, because throughout this whole saga, throughout all the verbal assaults on me, "oh, Reject's gone nuts! This man's just sadistic!"...no one's ever thought about what I've gone through over the last month. No one's ever stopped to ask me how I felt, after being betrayed, after being misled, after having my heart jerked out, tied to a car and dragged down the street. You see, I've suffered just like they have, probably even more. So, why did no one question their motives? Can you answer me that? JOSH ... REJECT I didn't think so. *looks at camera* REJECT What did you think, Leon? That you were just gonna fluke your way to victory in the Money in the Bank, and then I was just going to fade away? I was just gonna walk off, and let you two have your little fairy tale ending? WRONG. This isn't over. It'll never be over. JOSH So, I take it, no regrets? REJECT Regrets. The only regret I have, is that Maggie was carted from the ring on a stretcher, instead of a MEAT WAGON. *crowd boos* REJECT And I know what you're going to say. I'm such an uncaring bastard. Well, let's take a look at your hero, Leon. Here's a guy who couldn't even be bothered to walk to a training room and check on his viciously beaten girlfriend! But hey, that's OK, he's Leon Rodez, Mr. happy-go-lucky! He doesn't care! Check the specs thread, RODEZ DOES NOT GET ANGRY!!!!!! Reject then stares down at Josh, before smiling and putting his arm around him. REJECT So tell me...who should we really cheer for here, Josh? Josh slowly backs away from Reject, then reaches his hand out. JOSH Can I have my mic back? Reject holds the mic out to Josh...who kicks Reject in the nuts and runs away! COLE ALL RIGHT, JOSH~! Reject gathers his senses, then gets up and starts to charge after Josh, but runs right into four well-timed security guards who move him off the scene. COACH Cheer him now, Cole, he'll be found floating down the Medina River by the time this night's over!

* DUN DUN DUN DUNNA, DUN DUN DUNNA * TV 14 L, V PRESENTED IN HD Across a river, over a bunch of mountains, through fields, sweeping past trees and bushes, hovering over the skyline of New York City, the OAOAST logo flies through the air...before sweeping down, brushing past an elderly man who seems understandably shocked to see six over-sized letters fly past him. The logo continues going, nearing a house...which luckily, a woman is leaving, meaning the logo can sweep through the open door, continuing on down the hallfway and into the living room where a young kid is sat on his computer. It sweeps past him, hitting the computer...which explodes with a flash, lighting up much to the kid's shock and delight. THE OAOAST...WHAT THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD IS READING~! In One Hour... 14,849 babies are born. 5,936 people die. 8,378 planes take-off in the U.S. 1.23 million passengers contemplate disaster. 9,166 times lightning strikes the Earth. 1,560 times you blink. You think of sex atleast 21 times. Cut to a montage of Tha Puerto Rican and Brickston clips. In One Hour... Their hearts will beat 7,320 times. They will lose 7 pounds. They will suffer more hits than a quarterback will in an entire season. And they will see their lives flash before their eyes. We see a quick (and I do mean quick) montage of the careers of Tha Puerto Rican and Brickston. CUE: FAST-PACED, HIGH IMPACT ROCK MUSIC~! We see another montage of Brickston and PRL clips. BRICKSTON (V.O.) For one hour... THA PUERTO RICAN (V.O.) For one hour... BRICKSTON (V.O.) I will punish you. THA PUERTO RICAN (V.O.) I will destroy you. BRICKSTON (V.O.) I will humilate you. THA PUERTO RICAN (V.O.) I will embarass you. THA PUERTO RICAN (V.O.) For one hour... BRICKSTON (V.O.) ...you will feel my wrath! THA PUERTO RICAN (V.O.) ...you will feel my hate! BRICKSTON (V.O.) For one hour... THA PUERTO RICAN (V.O.) For one hour... BRICKSTON (V.O.) ...you will know who is the best! THA PUERTO RICAN (V.O.) ...you will know who is Greatness Personaified! The fast-paced, high impact rock music ends. As does the montage of PRL and Brickston clips. In its place is a black screen. There is nothing but silence as the following words appear on screen in blue. AFTER ONE HOUR... THERE WILL ONLY BE ONE MAN... THERE WILL ONLY BE ONE CHAMPION The One & Only Anglesault Thread presents a double main event... OAOAST CHAMPIONSHIP Tha Puerto Rican vs. Brickston 3 ON 2 HANDICAP MATCH The Usual Suspects vs. Theodore Moneymaker, Christian Wright & Abdullah Nerdly Plus 7 more incredible matches! So crank up the AC. It's Angleslam!!! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! B O O M ~! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" LIVE! Alamodome San Antonio, Texas The fans are on their feet and screaming, many holding signs displaying their support or disdain for various OAOAST superstars. Then it's over to the guys at Sofa Central. COLE In front of a sold out crowd of over 65,000, welcome to Angleslam. Michael Cole and The Coach here with you for the next 3 1/2 hours, and Coach, what a card we have tonight. COACH The hell with the rundown. Let's get this party started! COLE And we're gonna kick things off with the Riverwalk Invitational battle royal, so let's go to Michael Buffer!

Here's our (Patty & I) part of the AS match. I thought about PM'ing this to you, but it may have exceeded the word count and I'd rather not take the chance you only get half and and never realize it. Patty's got the intros, which are to come soon. Standing in the center of ring is Michael Buffer with a blue spotlight shinning down on him as the only illumination in an otherwise darkened arena. The roar of the crowd is gigantic and the legendary announcer is forced to strain his voice to be heard. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen it is time for our mainevent of Angleslam 2008! There's a huge pop from the audience who foist up their pro-In Crowd anti-Enterprise signage. BUFFER It is a three on two handicap match made in Corporate Greed scheduled for one fall with a time limit of sixty minutes! Let's meet the trouble shooting special guest referee as appointed by Josie Baker! The cameras roam towards the entrance where blue and purple lights beam from the edges of the sherrif's badge. "Simply Ravishing" kicks up to a huge ovation from the Texas faithful. Welcoming their cheers with raised hands as he steps through the saloon doors is Tony Brannigan, outfitted in the usual attire of a referee. The former world champion pauses with hands on hips to gaze out at the sea of fans as the blue and purple lights continue to swirl around him at a slow deliberate pace. BUFFER He is a three time tag team champion, a former world champion, a true OAOAST Original, he is one half of the one of the greatest tag teams of all time Black T, ladies and gentlemen please welcome to Alamo Dome....TONY BRANNIGAN! Tony smirks and nods to the fans, who are all but on their knees worshipping the OAOAST legend. He walks down the entrance ramp with a slow step taking in his moment in the spotlight for all its worth and soaking in the every cheer of the San Antonio audience. As he trots up the stairs he remains ever confident, showing no signs of intimidation from this high profile role. COLE Its hard to have to bring this up about a guy like Tony Brannigan. But can he be trusted? He is Theodore Moneymaker's cousin and even though they've had their problems in the past, blood runs thick, and so does the cash Moneymaker shoved into Brannigan's pocket this past HeldDOWN~! We like to think our champions and our legends have integrity but with stakes this high, I just don't know. COACH Yo, I don't think Josie picked T.Bod out of all the OAOAST superstars past and present if he wasn't gonna look out for her boy. The money Mister Moneymaker slipped in his pocket is just gravy, baby. A brilliant green glow engulfs the entrance stage, making it look like some sort of sci-fi wild west themed jungle overran by unseen but malvolent plant life. With this fantastic showing of colour comes the detested theme song, and the flood of boos for the men it heralds. [i]Please allow me to introduce myself I'm a man of wealth and taste I've been around for a long, long year Stole many a man's soul and faith[/i] Saloon doors swing open, and with that comes a tremendous increase in the hatred of the audience. Yet, Abdullah Abir Nerdly, dancing with the Koran close to his chest, is immune to such anger with his broad and loving smile serving as his shield. Behind him comes Christian Wright, grinning from ear to ear, attired in a blue blazer, black tie and blue slacks. He holds his arms out to his side and grins even wider in self satisfaction as Abdullah now performs his joyful dance around him as though he were some holy statue. At their side is their leader. Theodore Moneymaker, expression one of arrogance, his hair slightly unkempt, his body shining as it pours into red tights with dollar signs on the side. Hooked on his arm is a smug faced Mackenize DeCenzo, looking as ravishing as Brannigan's entrance music with a black halter evening dress with wood beans draped around the bust. BUFFER Introducing the competitors being accompanied to the ring by the Money Honey Mackenzie DeCenzo! First he weighed in at one hundred eighty seven pounds, and stands five feet eight inches, he is "The Speaker for the Prophets" and an "Inspirational Leader" to man. He is from Las Vegas by way of Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, by way of Damascus Syria, representing The Heavenly Rockers he is ABDULLAH ABIR NERDLY! And his partner weighing 8 1/3 bars of gold, now residing in Washington D.C., he is the Enterprise's Financial Analyst, CHRISTIAN WRIGHT! And finally from Vero Beach, Florida, this man needs no real introduction he is the CEO of The Enterprise, the second largest investor in TSM, the heir to Moneymaker fortune, he is THEODORE MONEYMAKER! Three green and red pryo explosions rip through the air from the top tips of the gigantic sherrif's badge, each bringing equally booming laughter from the throat of Moneymaker. As they walk down the aisle trailed by a train of boos, Christian removes his tie and jacket and arrogantly tosses them to the floor. Abdullah makes quite the show of himself, both singing high praises for his partners and dancing with celebratory glee. COLE The Enterprise is deadly. Their 2008 has seen them change Jade's life by revealing that she's Krista's daughter, get Anglesault fired, Josie hired, break up Rescue 911, and finally have Bohemoth arrested for rape! COACH Dudes is cold, a week in the Saraha couldn't melt them. They frost bitten, touch your hand a finger gonna fall right off. But, let me get this out right quick, props to Mackenzie for having the strength and courage to stand out here today. She's a survivor! She ain't gonna give up. Mackenzie takes position on the outside turning up her nose at the fans to offer her total attention to applauding her troops that enter the ring. Abdullah plays ambassador to Tony Brannigan and offers him words of prayer and blessings. Moneymaker, however, strangley ignores his cousin. Instead he practices his boxing, by punching Wright''s open hands and getting boastful words of encouragement from his best friend. They then share a hearty laugh and a hug, a sign of certain confidence in this pivotal bout. After so long an absence, the famous drum beat returns to OAOAST television, and brings it with it the deafaning screams of sixty thousand fans. Being so excited that they're barely able to maintain sanity, the fans joyously clap along to Weezer's Beverly Hills. They nearly scream themselves hoarse at the sight of Leon Rodez, clad in an In Crowd varsity jacket as opposed to his usual robe. Mimicking his image on the video screens, The New Age Love Machine does a qucik 360 twirl. He drops to his knees, and with a huge smile taking over his face points to the saloon doors. Right on cue, Zack Malibu, emerges to another stunning roar. He lacks all of Rodez delight and happiness, glaring at Moneymaker and crew through the beautiful droplets of his golden pyro fall, his hatred sizzling as hot and as brightly as that fireworks display. He tosses his varsity jacket to the floor and motions for Leon to follow him down the ramp. BUFFER And their opponents,, Hailing from Grand Rapids, Michigan and Providence, Rhode Island respectively...they weigh in at a total combined weight of four hundred, twenty eight pounds. They are former OAOAST WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS... "SILKY SMOOTH" LEON RODEZ... ZACK MALIBU... THE UUSSSSSUUUUAAAAAAALLL SSSSUUUUUSSSSSPPEEEEECCTTSSSSSSS!! COLE The Usual Suspects back in action! Don't let The Enterprise's stunt on the House of Worship on HeldDOWN~! fool you, these men are as tight as brothers. Leon has had Zack's back for years and vice versa. COACH Is that right? I only remember Zack helping out Leon once when Jade turned on him. He didn't do shit to help him through the Money In The Bank tournament. He never did nothing back when Brickston was messing him up. But when The Franchise so much as gots a hang nail he expects The Silky Smooth one to be right there with the tweezers and the bandaid. Don't get it twisted Zack is a user. Even with men who want to wipe him off the face of the OAOAST staring him down, even with Reject's cautionary words still fresh on his mind, Leon is as gregeraious and good natured as ever. He slaps hands with the fans, and of course gives much love to his female admirers with pecks on the cheek. Zack is the perfect example of stone faced determination, not even reacting when his white pyro pillars explode into a tower that nearly reaches up to the ceiling. Amidst all the cheering and chanting of he and Leon's names, he looks dead into the camera and says "This one is for you, Bo." COLE Leon Rodez is very famillar with The Enterprise and what they're capable of. Christian Wright and Zack Malibu have met once before for the HI-YAH world title at Zero Hour, he has many experiences both good and bad with Tony Brannigan, but has never in his life faced Theodore Moneymaker. Zack needs to beware, because Moneymaker is a damn dangerous competitor, and an evil son of a bitch! Entering the ring, Malibu hardly knows which man he wishes to attack first. Abdullah for ruining his classic match with Nathaniel Black, Christian Wright for his snobbish arrogance, or Theodore Moneymaker who has orchestrated this entire stable warfare. Thankfully he has the much more level headed Rodez to keep him from doing something he and his pocket book will regret. "USUAL SUSPECTS! USUAL SUSPECTS! USUAL SUSPECTS!", the audience pays loud respects to the former tag team champions. The camera pans across the outside area to show an unusual amount of security guards, headed up by The Enterprise's Detective Bosley and CPA. V.I.C.E's guards are heavily muscled men, thick arms folded across even thicker chest, all clad in black and wearing the same stern expression. COLE Tony Brannigan is here to keep order, but Josie may not have as much faith in him as he thought with guys like that around. I'm not sure how impartial these guys will be if they're led by V.I.C.E, however. The last thing we need is them ruining this classic contest. COACH One of the In Crowd is a woman hating disgusting rapist, another has left his jizz in every crackwhore in America, one is a crackwhore, and the leader pulled on a gun on a dude once! And you're harping on V.I.C.E? From across the ring Zack's chilly glare shoots bullets at Theodore Moneymaker, and his mouth utters threats of violence to come. Any other man would be looking for the quickest way out of town, but Moneymaker welcomes the hatred and bile, and hollers at the OAOAST legend to put actions behind his words. Its unlikely Zack can hear over the roar of an audience that's still on their feet, but Moneymaker's defiant expression gets the message across clearer than any words ever could. COLE The atmosphere inside the Alamo dome is like nothing I've ever seen before. Folks, I wish you here with us for this one, its something else! DING DING DING With the ringing of the bell the fans launch another huge ovation into the air as the two stable leaders come face to face in the ring for the first time. Malibu stands tall and proud, his brown eyes never once blinking. Moneymaker isn't nearly as stoic, and makes a pouty face, arrogantly rubbing in all that he's done to disrupt the state of Malibu's beloved OAOAST. He gives Zack's cheek a light tap and snickers bellow the shocked reaction of the crowd. His laughing is cut violently short, though, when Zack cracks him across his handsome face with a slap! "YEAAAAAA!" COLE Oh boy! Here we go! Let's make history! Moneymaker is first in shock and then in anger. And its anger that throws a haymaker at Malibu. But The Franchise ducks beneath and quickly scurries behind his foe. As The Billion Dollar Heir turns around, he's tagged with a series of right hands that have the crowd shouting in delight. Moneymaker comes back with a right of his own, but Zack throws up his forearm to deflect the blow. The unexpected block has the billionaire teetering backwards. Its a position Malibu is quick to take advantage of when he launches his foot forward in a School's Out! But, Moneymaker reacts with lightening quickness and catches onto Zack's boot. He slams it back to the ground in a huff, and merely chuckles at the OAOAST poster boy's failure to execute his finisher. COACH Zack almost had the knockout right there! He can't be doin that to the second largest investor in TSM though. That ain't right. Imagine if at the world series or some shit, Manny Ramirez just chucked a ball at Rupert Murdoch's head. Don't make no sense! Zack fires off several more punches that come within inches of a bobbing and weaving Moneymaker. The Enterprise leader efforts a counter attack by trying to meet Zack punch for punch. But, Malibu is a hair faster and rips a knee into his six packed stomach. A cruel smile lights up Zack's face, as he begins lighting up Moneymaker's chest with furious knife edge chops. The audience hoots and hollers as Moneymaker's face sags in agony. Mackenzie realizes that Zack could chop her boss straight to his bone, and in order to end his attack, the fetching lass steps onto the ring apron. The distraction works to perfection; Zack pauses to demand her removal, and Moneymaker capitalizes by swatting him in the back of the head. "MONEYMAKER SUCKS! MONEYMAKER SUCKS! MONEYMAKER SUCKS!" "SILENCE!" Christian screams from his perch on the apron. The wealthy Floridian latches onto Malibu's arm and attempts to Irish whip him towards the corner. However, Zack reverses the hold, and throws Moneymaker into the ringposts with such hellish force that the tycoon is lifted up and over the turnbuckles and thrown to the outside. His two hundred thirty plus pounds gracelessly crash to the outside and the response from the Texas audience as well as a shrieking Mackenzie is deafening. "MALIBU! MALIBU! MALIBU!" sing the audience, as Mackie rushes to check on the man who signs her paychecks. Once she's assured his check signing hand isn't broken, her concern lessens just a little bit. COLE Zack is PO'ed! He just threw a man nearly twenty pounds heavier then him all the way out this ring. That's scary power from our Franchise! Equally scary is the enraged look that possess Zack's face as he leans over the ropes and orders Moneymaker to return to the fight. All Theodore can offer is miserable groans, so Mackenzie bickers with Zack for him. But Malibu quickly grows tired of dealing with her and prepares to leave the ring to fetch Moneymaker himself. However, he's halted by a clubbing forearm from Christian Wright! "BOOOOO!" "I do believe, I ordered silence!" Wright complains as he hammers Zack's back with open handed slaps. Having weakened his opponent enough with this attacks, The Natural guides him to the corner. He places him against the posts, and begins bashing his fist across Zack's face. As Wright's hands make mincemeat out of Zack's defined facial features, special referee Tony Brannigan warns strongly about closed fists but shocking allows the proud 2005 Rookie of the year to remain in despite there being no tag. CW adheres to the caution and ceases his illegal attacks, but only does so in order to push Zack lower to the ring. This allows him to put his Brooks Brother's dress shoes directly onto the head of the three time world champion. Zack screams in agony, which is but music to Wright's ears. "LET'S GO ZACK! LET'S GO ZACK! LET'S GO ZACK!" the fans try to rally the ultimate good guy. "SILENCE! SILENCE! SILENCE!" Wright demands, but only gets it when he quits using Zack's face as a welcome mat. He and Brannigan have several words in the middle of the ring about his tactics, an argument prolonged because T-Bod has no idea what anything Wright says means. This debate allows for sneaky play by Abdullah. He rushes to Zack's position, lifts him to his feet by his blond hair, and begins mercilessly clawing at his eyes! "BOOOOOOO!" COLE Come on! Abdullah claims to be a leader of men, but do you think you ever saw a leader of men like Martin Luther King tear at someone's eyes? COACH MLK once shot at Malcom X over a dice game. And Rosa Parks once fucked up JFK on some crack beef. True stories right there. By the time Brannigan notices the booing, Abdullah is back in his corner, offering his thanks to Allah, and Zack is back to his feet seeking offers for good optometrist. Wright marches over to him, and shreds at the skin on his chest with his trademark European uppercuts. Desperate to be free of these flesh searing strikes, Zack grips onto the ropes and guides his weak legs down the ring. But CW stalks his path and chips away at his strength with punches to his back. Zack, however, fights back against him with a boot to the stomach that shoves The Natural away. Greatly annoyed by the strike, Wright snarls and charges in and [b]EATS A SCHOOL'S OUT![/b] "YEAAAAAAA!" screams the audience, getting back to their feet! COLE Christian Wright, School is out, and you've been knocked out! Is that it for The Enterprise in this epic bout? The answer to that question is a resounding no, coming from a BILLON $ KNEELIFT from Theodore Moneymaker! "MONEYMAKER SUCKS! MONEYMAKER SUCKS! MONEYMAKER SUCKS!" Not exactly appreciative of the unkind words, Moneymaker [i]spits[/i] at the front row audience which simply works to increase the entire arena's furor. The CEO of The Enterprise then turns his anger upon Zack Malibu and smears his face with A FISTFUL OF DOLLARS! While the fans boo his signature strike, Moneymaker goes for the first pinfall of the contest, his forearm pressed against the face of the Franchise. ONE! TWO! Zack gets his shoulder off the mat! COLE Zack isn't going to go down like that. Not this early in the contest. Not ever in fact. COACH Zack is facing a very different breed of superstar in The Enterprise. A smarter, more intelligent breed. And a richer one! Go on and get yo paper, dawgs! Moneymaker scrapes Zack off the canvas by the waistband of his blue tights. He shoves him into a neutral corner, and takes aim at his ribs, blasting them in an unrelenting assault. The Billion Dollar Heir then cuts short that attack in order to watch with a giddy pleasure as Zack hunches over and winces in pain. Moneymaker picks his head up and offers him a vicious slap across the cheek, returning the favor from earlier, sending a tiny amount of blood from the mouth of The Franchise. "You can't win this war, Zack!" Moneymaker shouts as much to Malibu as to his numerous fans. He grabs onto Zack's arm and pries him away from the ropes to throw him across the ring. But Zack somehow manages to counter and its the billionaire who suffers a brutal crash into the turnbuckles. But Moneymaker shakes off the bone crushing impact and comes darting at his rival with a back elbow. Malibu ducks beneath the rapidly approaching attack and lifts himself onto the second rope. Moneymaker regains his footing only to have his face breakout in fear, as Zack crashes into him with a cross body block! The fans applaud Zack's aerial expertise, and he nods to them as he hooks Moneymaker's leg for a pinfall... ONE! Moneymaker kicks out well before the two, but has to take several moments to regain his breath. With his enemy incapacitated, Zack gets to his feet and heads to his corner where he applies the tag to The Grand Rapids Golden Child! The cheers and applause for Leon Rodez are raucous, especially from the female fans. Le-Ro keeps it cool, though, shrugging his shoulders in an obviously false humility. COLE When this version of the In Crowd got together we knew we'd see The Usual Suspects along with it, but who knew it would be on such a huge stage? Leon charges into the ring at his longtime rival. But Moneymaker charges him as well, and strikes viciously with a devastating running high knee! The shot folds and contorts Leon like origami, leaving him a wounded wreck in just his first few seconds in the match. COLE Leon Rodez, getting planted by Theodore Moneymaker! Moneymaker stands above Leon, his hands held to him, and his sneering face gazing at the crowd, as if to wonder how they can cheer for this man. They boo the former tag champ and their hatred increases ten fold when he drops rapid-fire elbows across the Silky Smooth one's chest. Moneymaker then grabs Le-Ro by his heavily gelled hair and leads him off his feet. He shoves him into the ropes and as Leon bounces back he buries his knee deep into his midsection. The Billion Dollar Heir chortles with a sickening joy, and loving that move so much, he replays it once more. He then throws his foe across the ring. Leon bounces off the ropes, ready to stage a counterattack against Moneymaker. But the Vero Beach native is several steps faster and sends him hurtling through the air with another knee to the stomach! The Grand Rapids Golden Child lands smack on the canvas, immediately clutching his sore midsection. "LET'S GO LEON! LET'S GO LEON! LET'S GO LEON!" COLE The fans getting behind Leon, who's had so many problems with Theodore Moneymaker in the past. Last year's Angleslam these two met in a five on five match in which Jade turned her back on The Enterprise and went back to the side of Leon Rodez and D*LUX where she belongs. Still holding onto his stomach, Leon begins rolling away from his opponent. But Moneymaker trails his retreat, gazing down on him with a pure contempt. Leon finally reaches the corner posts and with no where to go, the tycoon lifts him up by the purple collar of his singlet and stares harshly into his eyes. After offering Mister Rodez a few choice vulgarities, Moneymaker launches him into the opposite ropes. Leon hits the corner posts with a thud, but there's no rest for his weary bones as Moneymaker charges in with a back elbow. But the New Age Love Machine kicks up his legs and jams both knees into the spine of Moneymaker! While the Billion Dollar Heir lies in pain, Leon quickly scampers to the top rope. COLE Leon going up top! COACH Really, because I couldn't tell and all, with him climbing the turnbuckles only fifteen feet in front of me, two monitors showing the same thing, a scoreboard showing it, and that huge video screen showing it to. So thank you. COLE At least I know the visually impaired are. So there. :P Moneymaker quits pouting over Leon's attack long enough to begin peppering him with shots to his lower back. Given his position there's little Rodez can do besides wail in agony from the attacks. Thus Moneymaker has an easy time of taking hold of Leon and attaching his legs across his shoulders. The fans moan in panic as the hated heel pulls Leon off the ropes and into an unwelcome position. Abdullah holds his hands out in preemptive celebration of what's sure to be a deadly move. COLE Electric chair drop! Not if Silky Smooth has anything to say about, he rotates his limber body out and nauseates The Enterprise CEO with a picture perfect hurricanrana! Immediatley after hitting the mat, Moneymaker crawls on all fours reaching the corner and using it to pull himself up. Leon hounds him, paying little attention to his cowardly efforts to beg off. As such Moneymaker takes an even more pathetic route and sticks his body beneath the ropes, forcing Brannigan to get Rodez to back off. Rodez isn't exactly thrilled with this and argues that Moneymaker is simply doing this because the match is no longer going in his favor, but "rules are rules" says Brannigan. Taking advantage of the discussion between his cousin and his rival, Moneymaker gathers a wad of spit within his mouth and hurls it at Rodez! A huge clump of soggy disgusting spit lands on Leon's cheek, and a small frown forms on his face. Moneymaker smiles broadly and dares Rodez to take a swing at him. COLE Everyone knows Leon doesn't get mad... He gets even, bay-bee, this time by taking his own huge chunk of spit and casually blasting Moneymaker with it! COACH Well, I suppose that’s better than getting cummed on like Baron Windels. COLE Who got his vengeance earlier tonight, just as The Usual Suspects will for Bo and the OAOAST. As the fans roar for doing something they've always dreamed of, Leon gives them a hearty thumbs up. Obviously, not quite as happy as the crowd, Moneymaker comes scorching out the corner with a clothesline. But the quick cruiserweight dodges the blow and comes back at his archival with a spinning elbow. However, Moneymaker deftly sidesteps the attack and grabs a quick waistlock on Rodez. There's a brief struggle from the pride of Grand Rapids, but Moneymaker's expert strength snuffs it out and he school boy’s Leon, which includes a handful of tights! Brannigan counts... ONE! TWO! ...but with help from Zack Malibu and the fans notices the illegal tactic and orders Moneymaker to break, popping the crowd. For his part, Moneymaker just stares at his cousin and curtly asks him to remember where is loyalty lies. COLE Moneymaker was also the one who revealed that Jade is Krista's daughter, which has led to Jade moving from Grand Rapids to Los Angeles to live with Krista. That's been a bit of a sticking point for Leon who was used to having Jade close by in his parents home. COACH Waaah waaaah waaah! Gimmie a break, Mikey, Mister Moneymaker is changing the face of the OAOAST and Leon is all upset because he ain't got no one to go cow tipping with on Saturday nights. COLE There's a lot more to do in Grand Rapids besides cow tipping. There's also pig wrestling and sheep poker. Moneymaker steals a page out of his cousin’s playbook, raking the lace of the boots against the face of Leon Rodez. He then wraps his muscular arms around Leon's neck and leads him off the canvas. As Le-Ro fights to break free he applies the tag to the loathed Christian Wright. As the audience expresses their disdain for the verbose superstar, he scales to the top rope. On the apron Abdullah claps excitedly for the upcoming Enterprise double team. However his joy is short lived, and quickly turns into fear, as Leon breaks out of Moneymaker's clutches. Stunned, the wrestling mogul isn't able to defend himself against Leon shoving him into the ropes. As soon as he hits the cables, he knocks his partner entirely off balance and Wright falls crotch first onto the ringposts. He screams his misery at the top of his lungs, as the audience screams their joy and the top of their's. Leon isn't terribly sympathetic to his misfortune, and points to his own crotch, saying he should've worn a cup. COLE Wright's been a thorn in Leon's side since The Natural got into the OAOAST, so you know that had to feel good! COACH It ain't gonna feel good when Mister Moneymaker gets in Josie's ear and Leon finds himself curtain jerking against OAVW trainees before Syndicated. Pumping his fist ARESENIO HALL STYLE~! to keep the fans making noise, the Michigan studmuffin climbs onto the third rope. But his preoccupation with engaging his fanbase costs him dearly, as Moneymaker recovers to drag him back to the canvas. With his leader holding Rodez in place, Wright gets his dress shoes on proper footing, before leaving that footing altogether with a diving forearm! His eyes go wide with dismay as Le-Ro scoots out the way and Wright's forearm smacks Moneymaker flush in the face. Together they crash into the mat and the sold out dome crowd is absolutely ecstatic! Moneymaker and Wright lie about the canvas, clutching their sore faces, and each trying to blame the other for the miscue. COLE Leon loves to have fun, but he'll getcha every time out! COACH Yeah, yeah, can we talk about why the In Crowd has an all but convicted rapist on their roster and male pornstar, once seen humping a [i]banana[/i] on camera? These fools make the Cincinnati Bengals look like Saint Catherine's school for girls. Having had his fill of Leon's magic for the moment, Moneymaker rolls his weary bones to the outside. He's comforted by Mackenzie, who assures him Wright has it all under control. The Natural promptly proves her wrong by climbing to his feet where he steps into a jab! And a jab! And a jab! And jab! Rodez turns to DA LADIEZ~ and blows a kiss before turning back and getting caught with the Wright Off (Sky high!) Anger quickly flows throughout the dome, as Wright mocks Leon's kiss blowing as he sits upon him for a pin ONE! TWO! Rodez kicks out, shocking Wright who was already planning his victory celebration. The Natural rams Leon into the buckle and unloads with European uppercuts and knife-edge chops, then fires him across to the far corner...but the Silky Smooth One reverses the Irish whip and follows in, diving his shoulder into Wright’s midsection! COLE Superman Spear! And it certainly took a superhuman effort for Leon Rodez to comeback after the punishment he’s received. Wright stumbles out of the corner and Rodez is waiting, taking the numbers cruncher over with a SITOUT HIPTOSS! ONE! TWO! THR-- NO! Abdullah rushes in and dropkicks Leon smack in the face, and the crowd reacts just as you’d expect, booing the intrusion. Tony Brannigan doesn’t appreciate it either, scolding his cousin’s spiritual guide, prompting Theodore Moneymaker to try and smooth things over. A tag ensues and, having waited till the time was right, Abdullah Nerdly assumes the role of legal man. Still woozy from the blow sustained moments ago, Leon Rodez walks into a flurry of high leg kicks that stagger the Grand Rapids Golden Child. Following a series of forearm smashes, Rodez is whipped to the corner, but Zack Malibu cushions the impact by throwing himself onto the top turnbuckle, shooting Leon Rodez back out at Abdullah who’s leveled by a flying forearm! An exchange is made and Zack Malibu nails Abdullah Nerdly with his trademark Zack Attack! Expecting company, Zack leaps to his feet and backdrops Christian Wright. About to be sent for the ride, Theodore Moneymaker throws himself on the top turnbuckle ala Zack earlier to soften CW‘s landing, but the Franchise redirects the Natural towards the Usual Suspects corner and punts Moneymaker in the air...CROTCHING HIM ON THE TOP ROPE! MONEYMAKER :o The Billion Dollar Heir crumbles to the apron in pain, blues and agony as Zack Malibu delivers a tongue lashing on his way back towards the center of the ring, turning into the direction of a SPINNING HEEL KICK from Abdullah Nerdly! COACH That’s what you get for showboating, preppie. Who’s the big man on campus now? Sure as hell isn’t you anymore! Christian Wright receives the tag and waits for Abdullah to turn Zack over in a Boston Crab before coming down with a middle rope elbow drop! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Wright shoves Malibu into the Enterprise corner and brutalizes him with European uppercuts, forcing special referee Tony Brannigan to step in and back CW away. The Natural more than happy to oblige as Theodore Moneymaker and Abdullah Nerdly club Zack like a baby seal behind Tony’s back! COLE Zack Malibu being assaulted in the corner. COACH A walk in the park compared to what Mackenzie DeCenzo experienced. Speaking of Miss DeCenzo, she cheers her team on as they hammer Zack, who displays that baby face fire which made him the franchise by fighting back! COLE The Franchise’s stock is rising! COACH Hulking Up that ain't. Freed out of the corner, standing between Zack and the tag is Christian Wright. Malibu leapfrogs a spear and Wright posts himself! The Usual Suspects tag and the crowd explodes. Leon Rodez a human pinball machine bouncing off bodies and hitting anything that moves, or so it seems. Rolling sole BUTT kick to the gut puts CW in prime position for the EXPLODER SUPLEX! ONE! TWO! NO! Save by Theodore Moneymaker. The Billion Dollar Heir returns to the apron laughing and pointing to his head, but fails to hear Abdullah’s warning and is dropkicked by Rodez onto the guardrail below! Abdullah takes a swing at Leon to divert his attention as Christian breaths up the rear, but the New Age Love Machine isn’t stupid, taking the Natural down with a drop toehold. With CW slumped on the middle rope Leon does a little dance and shoots off the ropes, crashing all his weight... NO! Mackenzie DeCenzo shoves Christian aside and Abdullah whacks Leon with a roundhouse kick!

To go on sometime after Baron's promo please. [b][size="3"][color="#FF0000"]ANGLE[/color][color="#0000FF"]SLAM[/color][/size] [color="#FFA500"]Shill Center[/color][/b] The music plays, the AS logo scrolls across the screen and OAOAST Original Tony Brannigan is ready to go. BRANNIGAN Your final Angleslam shill is brought to you by the OAOAST HOT NEWZLINE~!, where the gossip is [I]so hot[/I] you need to wear ear muffs when calling! We are now only 3 nights away from the hottest event of the summer. This sizzling summer spectacular has been sold out for weeks, but you can still catch all the action live exclusively on pay-per-view. So make that call right now if you haven’t already done so. You don’t want to miss out on over 3 hours of nonstop entertainment featuring 9 incredible matches and a double main event! [b][color="#FF0000"]3 ON 2 HANDICAP MATCH SPECIAL TROUBLESHOOTING REFEREE? Theodore Moneymaker, Christian Wright & Abdullah Nerdly vs. Zack Malibu & Leon Rodez[/color][/b] BRANNIGAN Our first main event has the attention of the entire wrestling community. The Usual Suspects, Zack Malibu and Leon Rodez, back together on pay-per-view to meet the unholy trinity of Theodore Moneymaker, Christian Wright and Abdullah Nerdly in a match made in corporate greed! By now you know the story about this one. The Metrosexual Monster Bohemoth originally scheduled to join his fellow In Crowd members in battle, but he now faces an even bigger battle of his own after being accused of sexual assault by Mackenzie DeCenzo. A very serious accusation, to say the least. But as we heard earlier in the program, General Manager Josie Baker will assign a special troubleshooting referee to provide as level a playing field as possible with Bo out indefinitely. Let us not forget, it was Josie Baker who selected Abdullah Nerdly as the special referee for Zack Malibu’s match against Nathanial Black here two weeks ago and we know how that turned out. Her decision to be announced before we go off the air, so stay tuned for that. [b][color="#0000FF"]OAOAST CHAMPIONSHIP 60 MINUTE IRON MAN MATCH Brickston w/Vitamin X vs. Tha Puerto Rican ©[/color][/b] BRANNIGAN In the second main event, reigning OAOAST Champion Tha Puerto Rican will defend the richest prize in our sport against the awesome force that is Brickston, led by the man The Champ ended the career of at the Big Apple Spectacular, Vitamin X. [b][color="#FF0000"]RIVERWALK INVITATIONAL BATTLE ROYAL[/color][/b] BRANNIGAN Kicking off the show, the Riverwalk Invitational 20 man over the top rope battle royal. Some of the participants already signed for this special attraction include the return of... Brock Ausstin Denzel Spencer Reggie Lamont "After Hours" Felix Strutter Jumbo Deuce Deuce Bigelow Jamie O'Hara The Christ Air Express Panic at the Disco The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew James Blonde Faqu Spanish Fly Cuban Wall Mr. Boricua BRANNIGAN ...plus two surprise entrants! [b][color="#0000FF"]OAOAST WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP Jade Rodez vs. Malaysia ©[/color][/b] BRANNIGAN The Women’s title will also be on the line at Angleslam. It was just last week that we saw the kind of training Jade Rodez has gone through to prepare mentally and physically for her title bout against the ultimate combination of beauty and beatdowns. Just being around the company J-Ro hangs with makes her mentally tough in my view! [color="#FF0000"][b]TEXAS BULLROPE MATCH Mr. Dick vs. Baron Windels[/b][/color] BRANNIGAN I for one still cannot believe what took place earlier tonight in regards to this one. Baron Windels was to join me for a live interview when he was ambushed by Mr. Dick backstage and--and... well, I’d rather not dignify that vile act. [color="#0000FF"][b]OAO WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP TRIPLE THREAT TABLES, LADDERS & CHAIRS MATCH Beverly Hills Blonds vs. D*LUX vs. Reject & Thunderkid ©[/b][/color] BRANNIGAN In what could very well be the show stealer at Angleslam, for the One & Only World tag team championship, Reject & Thunderkid of the Deadly Alliance face the challenge of D*LUX and these men representing the Enterprise, "Box-Office" Simon Singleton and "The Handsome Hustler" Ned Blanchard, the Beverly Hills Blonds. Instead of the Alamo we get the BHB CG backdrop. The famous Hollywood sign redone as Beverly Hills with Blonds underneath, stars shining bright around. Standing tall, Simon and Ned in their trademark silver vests. NED Do blondes really have more fun? That’s been the age old question, and if you would’ve asked us a few weeks ago the answer would’ve been hell yeah. But ever since Reject laid his hands on our assistant, we’ve given being the hottest tag team in sports entertainment a whole new meaning, because we’re still hot over what he did to Molly. SIMON I mean, good golly. The club hopping, the womanizing, the orgy parties have taken a backseat to a rededication of our craft. Friends and family have long come up to us asking when Ned and I were gonna do more than collect a six-figure paycheck from Theodore Moneymaker and become serious about being tag team champions again. Well that time has come. Sunday night at Angleslam we’re gonna put our names in the record books as having the most tag title reigns in OAOAST history. And Reject, if you think about laying your hands on Molly again, we got 3 words for you. [i]"CAN'T TOUCH THIS!"[/i] Molly jumps into view and dances along with the BHB to MC Hammer's early ‘90s smash hit, all rocking parachute pants. Then it’s back to business at the Shill Center. [color="#FF0000"][b]MONEY IN THE BANK TOURNAMENT FINALS Krista Isadora Duncan vs. Landon Maddix[/b][/color] BRANNIGAN I’m sure both participants in the OAOAST Championship bout will have a close eye on this one, to determine who gets $500,00 and a guaranteed contract at their title whenever they so wish, it’s the GLADDiator vs. the self-proclaimed "Savior of the OAOAST" Landon Maddix. [b][color="#FF0000"]DEVIL’S PLAYGROUND MATCH[/color] [color="#0000FF"]James "Lunar Phoenix" Cone vs. Sly Sommers[/color][/b] BRANNIGAN Following his [I]despicable[/I] stunt two weeks ago, James Cone managed to get one of the stipulations to the Devil’s Playground match removed. Here’s how it all happened. [b][color="#FF8C00"]HeldDOWN~![/color] August 15, 2008[/b] [quote]PHOENIX (talking over the boos of the crowd) Excuse me! Sly...we made a deal last week. I get you an opponent, you wrestle the opponent no-DQ, and if you lose, I get to remove something from the Devil's Playground. I searched high and low, all across the world to get you someone big and bad...the tallest, the heaviest, the toughest, the roughest...and none of them were good enough. I'm smarter than everyone here...I couldn't do it. I couldn't just go and get some badass because you would expect it. I'm taking you out of your gameplan. Without further ado, meet your opponent for this evening! Out comes...a GIRL SCOUT?!?!? COLE What on God's Green Earth... Sly's jaw drops and he looks at the referee and mouths "Is this legal?" PHOENIX Here she is...(leans down) What's your name? GIRL My name's Mindy! PHOENIX Mindy, how old are you? MINDY I'm EIGHT YEARS OLD! PHOENIX You hear that, Sly? (Stands back up) Eight whole years old! Sly Sommers, tonight...are you man enough to beat up this eight-year-old girl! The crowd boos Phoenix, as he sends the little girl to the ring. The little girl skips to the ring with a big smile on her face as she carries her cookies in a box, then is helped into the ring by the referee. COACH This is the weirdest thing ever. Sly Sommers has to fight a little girl in a No-DQ match. *BELL RINGS* Sly bends down to her eye level. The camera gets in close to hear what he's in saying... SLY I won't fight you. I don't know what the mean man on the top of the ramp paid you to do this, but let's just go backstage and I'll get you autographs, does that sound good? MINDY Okay! Hey mister, do you want one of my cookies? SLY Don't mind if I... Sly opens the box and a flame shoots out, hitting him right in the face! He goes down, holding his eye, and Mindy jumps on him for the cover... ONE! TWO! THREE! *DING DING* BUFFER Your winner...um...MINDY? PHOENIX Bro, bro...that was awesome! Feelin' the heat? *cackles* (Referees and officials rush past Phoenix, holding wet towels to put on Sly's face) Dude, I'm going to have so much fun watching the replay. (Phoenix slides in the ring, hands Mindy money) Thanks, sweetie. Go on, run to the back...I got some of my friends to pay for some of those delicious cookies too! *giggles to himself as Mindy runs off* Bro, I come out on top yet again. Because of that...HOT little number, I get to remove one of the stipulations from that silly Devil's Playground match we're having at Angleslam. Personally, I don't like glass...so let's get rid of that whole deal with the lighttubes in the trash can hanging from the ceiling of the cell. Capice? *giggles to himself as the referees ask him to leave*[/quote] BRANNIGAN You can imagine the complaints OAOAST headquarters was flooded with after that one. Last but certainly not least, rounding out the card another big grudge match. After locking lips with her brother’s arch rival, just how impartial will the lovely Evelyn Maguire be officiating the match between Junior and Jereme Grey? [b][color="#FF0000"]OAOAST INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP NO DISQUALIFICATION MATCH GUEST REFEREE EVELYN MAGUIRE Colin Maguire, Jr vs. Jereme Grey ©[/color][/b] BRANNIGAN The days, the hours, the minutes, the seconds are ticking down. For all you moms and dads out there, with the little ones heading back to school, enjoy one last summer family activity with Angleslam. Don’t be left out in the heat. Stay in, crank up the AC and purchase the 2008 edition of Angleslam live exclusively on pay-per-view! Wait a minute, I’m being told General Manager Josie Baker has made a decision in regards to the special troubleshooting referee in the handicap match apart of our double main event. I believe she’s standing by in her office. So without any further ado, let’s go to Josie Baker. Inside Josie‘s office, she places her signature on a document before putting out her cigarette, then looks into the camera. JOSIE After careful consideration, I have concluded there’s only one person qualified to officiate a match-up the caliber of that signed featuring Zack Malibu and Leon Rodez against Theodore Moneymaker, Christian Wright and Abdullah Nerdly. This person arguably knows the OAOAST better than anyone in the world, including Zack Malibu himself, and is someone who has both the trust of fans and OAOAST management alike. It’s for those reasons I have selected Tony Brannigan to serve as the special troubleshooting referee for one-half of our double main event at Angleslam. That is all. BRANNIGAN :o COACH Tony Brannigan?! COLE I don’t think he can believe it himself. Suddenly THEODORE MONEYMAKER appears next to Brannigan at the Shill Center. MONEYMAKER Cousin! Great to see you again. I was just in the neighborhood and though I’d drop by to congratulate you on landing the most coveted job opening this side of the office of president of the United States. In the time it was announced a special referee would be assigned to the unholy trinity’s match, as you so amusingly called us, I heard Josie Baker’s phone was ringing off the hook. The calls, the text messages from people of all walks of life badly wanting that gig, including Fred Thompson but he jumped in too late. BWAHAHA! Important as your job is, like being president of the United States, it comes with a lot of pressure. But I don’t want the fact we’re family to interfere with you calling the match down the middle. (pulls out roll of $100 bills) After all, your job is as easy as... *stuffing bills in Brannigan’s breast pocket * ... 1-2-3. Of course for [I]extra incentives[/I], you’d then raise my team’s hands in victory. Again, congratulations, cousin. BWAHAHAHAHA! Moneymaker exits. Brannigan counts the bills stuffed in his suit, $300 to symbolize counting 1-2-3 at Angleslam. COLE In his own twisted way, did Theodore Moneymaker just offer BRIBE MONEY to Tony Brannigan?! COACH It’s just like you to think that, Mikey, the little conspiracy theorist that you are. What I saw was a family reunion. Two men putting their differences aside to co-exist in a dangerous world. If only Zack Malibu and Leon Rodez could understand that concept. COLE To recap very quickly, ladies and gentlemen. Tony Brannigan has been named the special troubleshooting referee for The Usual Suspects-Theodore Moneymaker, Christian Wright and Abullah Nerdly match at Angleslam, and pretty much received a bribe from the Billion Dollar Heir. COACH There you go again. For all we know Teddy owned debt to his cousin. COLE Yeah, sure. Thursday night will continue to be HeldDOWN~! after this timeout.

Our PPVs are usually delayed a day or two, so I'd say Tuesday at the latest.

Back after a few weeks hiatus, the world famous interview stage and its guardian Tony Brannigan. BRANNIGAN Ladies and gentlemen, please join me in welcoming my guest this week, who Sunday night at Angleslam will square off against his former tag team partner in a Texas Bullrope match... BARON WINDELS! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The music plays, but no Baron. Puzzled like the rest of us, Brannigan introduces Windels again, the music restarting. Still nobody. COLE What’s going on here? This is certainly uncharacteristic of Baron. COACH Maybe he chickened out of the match at Angleslam. And who could blame him? Have you seen what’s happened in our promotions when a fan favorite returns home? Our questions are answered as we head backstage and see Baron Windels being WHIPPED by MR. DICK while CUFFED TO A CHAIN LINK FENCE. COLE The hell?! Welts and lacerations soon appear on the back of Baron Windels as Mr. Dick lays in with a heavy BULLROPE. Baron drops to his knees and Mr. Dick unzips his pants. Filming the Human Hard-On from the waist up we hear a THUMPING sound. MR. DICK (grunting) Come on, big boy. You ain't so bad now, are you? UNH! [b]* SPLAT *[/b] OAOAST officials come running into the picture, but it's too little too late. Baron Windels humiliated in front of a worldwide audience. MR. DICK (zipping up pants, laughing) Can you feel them swimming? COACH There’s something about Baron and it stinks right about now! COLE What a reprehensible act Mr. Dick just committed. There will be hell to pay come Sunday night at Angleslam I assure you. [font="Arial Black"][color="#FF0000"]ANGLESLAM 2008[/color] [color="#0000FF"]TEXAS BULLROPE MATCH[/color] TWO SAN ANTONIO BOYS HOOK UP: BARON WINDELS Vs MISTER DICK [color="#FF0000"]AUGUST 31st 2008[/color][/font]

All of a sudden I don't feel too bad about having to write a bunch of segments for HD and a couple of matches for AS. I'm not alone. We all have tons of stuff to write this week! What to expect for HD: Baron Windels promo Final AS Shill (if anybody wants something included for this, send it to me)

The hot streak continues. Only two matches but it honestly felt like more. Hmm. Possible dissention in the ranks of CI? And then you have Alf rallying his troops, with a peace offering of sorts by the Burrough Boys. Fantastic Malaysia promo. Funny stuff at the end with Coach. Alf vs. Landon, MITB: Heck of a match. I tell you, with Reject's new attitude I could see him becoming a main event player. Landon's post-match antics were hysterical, caring more about the win than his girl. Referencing an angle done on SYN?! at Biff and Vinny's run-in with Los Diablos. Rodez to Hell? Greatest title ever! How Patty finds ways to top himself I don't know. I bet temperatures drop whenever Zack and Josie are in the same room. Big match signed for AS. CW puts his former bodyguard in his place, and then Bo with heavy words. Rico vs. Jamie: Fine TV main event. Cliffhanger ending! MOTN: Alf vs. Landon Maddix QOTS: "And I know that when you get out there with all those tables, and ladders, and chairs, your eyes light up like Leon Rodez at a Nerdly family reunion." -- Alfdogg

Sorry I didn't answer you sooner. Just now checked this thread again. To answer your question, unfortunately not. The Shill Centers are done bi-weekly, so the next one wouldn't be till next week's show.

Just a short -- and I do mean short -- promo for this week. We cut over to the guys at Sofa Central to give them a little more face time. COLE Fans, in just a few short minutes we’re going to be hearing from Mr. Dick for the first time since he was... COACH Publicly lynched. But like Clint Eastwood, he survived. Heaven didn’t need to be reamed yet. COLE How do you follow something like that up? COACH By going straight to the video! And so we do, to Mr. Dick enjoying a beautiful summer afternoon out in the backyard sunbathing, the sprinklers going off around him. MR. DICK Baron Windels, real big tough guy you are violently attacking me -- following a grueling match no less. You gotta be feeling mighty proud about yourself. If not for my giant dick supplying blood to my brain I would’ve been a goner for sure. But if you think for one second you’re little stunt did anything to rattle my psyche, you’re dead wrong. So you got to extract a measure of revenge. Big deal. You’ve won nothing but a tiny skirmish in a large war. Though I can’t help but wonder where this Baron Windels was back when the Lone Star Gunslingers rode together. Had that S.O.B. been around we’d still be tag team champions today. That’s all in the past though, just like you'll be once I get through with you. Like I said last time Baron, Angleslam will be your last stand. Who knows? Maybe we’ll meet again sooner than you think. Fade out.

Yep. We stopped doing it because of space issues IIRC. The thread would get too big.

Another quality show. You had the Maguire/Gray feud advance, Malaysia dominate once again, Brickston look like a monster, Duncan Girls awesomeness, and epic matches in Krista-Leon and Zack/Black. But my favorite part of the show had to be the stuff with Sly and James Cone. Genius. Sorry for the half-assed feedback this week, but I want to get a head start on my AS match, which I probably won't end up writing till the week of the show anyway!

Whoops! My bad. Left feedback in the wrong thread!

[b][size="3"][color="#FF0000"]ANGLE[/color][color="#0000FF"]SLAM[/color][/size] [color="#FFA500"]Shill Center[/color][/b] Cue that fun summertime music with a western flair as the AS logo swoops across the screen. Awaiting us inside the Shill Center, OAOAST Original Tony Brannigan, still dressed like a tourist for those who care. BRANNIGAN Hi again, everyone, or in honor of this year’s Lone Star State edition of Angleslam -- howdy! We are now just 2 weeks away from the hottest event of the summer. The date: Sunday night, August 31 live exclusively on pay-per-view from the sold out Alamodome in San Antonio. Since I last shilled Angleslam to you there have been plenty of new developments. And here’s one of them, as first reported this past weekend on the OAOAST Hot Newzline… [b][color="#FF0000"]TEXAS BULLROPE MATCH[/color] [color="#0000FF"]Mr. Dick vs. Baron Windels[/color][/b] BRANNIGAN …the former Lone Star Gunslingers will now duel in a Texas bull rope match! This coming on the heels of what occurred here last week when the Human Hard-On -- his term not mine -- got roped and hung! Well hung you can say. Mr. Dick hot under the short shorts following that incident, pushing hard for Josie Baker to suspend Baron Windels indefinitely! But our esteem new General Manager would have none of that, citing Mr. Dick’s own comments about this being the final opportunity for Baron Windels to prove he’s man enough to handle The Dick in her decision. Right now let’s hear from the original Lone Star Gunslinger, Baron Windels. The Alamo at nighttime serves as the backdrop for Baron Windels, a BULLROPE in hand. BARON I see all those yoga classes did you real well, Jock, because you’re currently gagging on your own dick! On Sunday night, August 31 you and I will be joined at the wrist by this (holds up bull rope). There's nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. It’s gonna be you and me at the same place at the same time. Better yet, there won’t be none of this touch all 4 corners junk. You gotta earn it the old fashion way…by PINNING your man. I bet you must’ve cum yourself in fear when you first got the news because as you found out the hard way last week, you'll be stepping in the ring with a new and improved Baron Windels. One that no longer gives a damn about playing by the rules! In times of war people say take the moral highroad because stooping to the tactics of your enemy makes you no better. Well sometimes a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. We all got a dark side hidden deep down somewhere. Mr. Dick helped bring my out. Now it’s time to finish what I started. Last chance, huh? More like your last breath, Dick. We cut to Brannigan in the studio. BRANNIGAN This “new” Baron Windels is one I’d be very worried about if I were Mr. Dick and all the other superstars here in the OAOAST. [b][color="#FF0000"]OAOAST WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP[/color] [color="#0000FF"]Jade Rodez vs. Malaysia Nerdly[/color][/b] BRANNIGAN Announced right here last week, second generation superstar Jade Rodez to challenge reigning OAOAST Women’s Champion Malaysia Nerdly. It was only a little over a month ago that these two met, with Malaysia emerging victorious in dominate fashion. But after a mother/daughter talk, Krista Isadora Duncan has agreed to share the secrets of her success, if you will, with young Jade. Will that knowledge combined with youthful exuberance be enough to dethrone the ultimate combination of beauty and beatdowns? We’ll find out August 31. [b][color="#FF0000"]ONE & ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM TITLE TABLES, LADDERS & CHAIRS MATCH[/color] [color="#0000FF"]Beverly Hills Blonds vs. D*LUX vs. Reject & TK[/color][/b] BRANNIGAN Oh, my. You can expect the 65,000-plus strong expected to attend Angleslam to be on their edge of their seats for this one. With tables, ladders and chairs involved, Deadly Alliance members Reject & Thunderkid defend their title against Enterprise representatives the Beverly Hills Blonds and D*LUX. This is as much for revenge as it is for the tag team championship of the world. Allow me to refresh your memory. [b][color="#FF8C00"]HeldDOWN~![/color] Last Week[/b] [quote]However, the referee is still focused on the ring, where TK has Tyler set up in a front facelock, when Jade Rodez hops onto the apron! COACH Get her down, ref! TK looks over at Jade, then drops Tyler to the mat and stalks to the apron. COLE And Jade had better get down now! Jade points the finger in the face of TK, who grabs Jade by the wrist, then pulls her in and plants a big kiss on her! COACH Can you believe this? Jade just [i]kissed[/i] TK! Bitches'll go to any lengths to get the winner's purse! COLE :rolleyes: Jade responds with a SLAP to TK's face! COLE She didn't kiss him that time! Upon seeing this, Reject slides into the ring and grabs Jade by the hair, yanking her in over the top rope! COLE And look at this, Reject manhandling Jade Rodez! Give me a break! Jade holds her hair as she gets to her feet, and backs away from Reject, but backs right into TK, who pulls his fist back, causing her to fall to the mat, at which point Reject grabs her legs and starts to apply the R-LOCK! COLE Oh, no, don't do this! Reject turns Jade over and locks in the hold! Jade immediately begins to tap, until Tyler flies in with a clothesline to Reject! COLE And thank God, Tyler Bryant breaks it up! Jade rolls out of the ring, and retreats to the locker room, as TK hits Tyler with a BICYCLE KICK, then Reject and TK lay the boots to him as the referee calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* TK drapes Simon's left arm over the top rope, then pushes him against the ropes with his foot and extends his right arm out. Reject then climbs to the top rope. COACH Oh, this is an old Ole & Arn trick! COLE They could break the arm with this, dislocate the shoulder, who knows! However, Molly Nerdly jumps onto the apron, and uses all her strength to shove Reject off the top rope! COLE :lol: Molly just shoved Reject off the top rope, can you believe that? COACH No, she didn't! She was up there tryin' to cop a feel on the R-Man, and it just startled him, he fell off! Reject quickly gets to his feet, and locks eyes with Molly, who has just realized what she's done. COACH See, he's fine! COLE Yeah, but what about Molly? TK grabs Molly by the arm and drags her through the ropes, as Reject approaches her. Reject then nods at TK...who picks up Molly in a hangman's hold! COLE Oh no, not this! COACH OK...I gotta admit now, this is going a little far. Reject gives one last stomp to Simon, then turns around and does the "sizing her up" hand gesture, then backs up... COLE Oh no... ...and LAYS A ROUNDHOUSE KICK INTO THE ABDOMEN OF MOLLY NERDLY!!! COLE OH MY GOD. Molly drops to the mat and turns to her side, holding her ribs while screaming and sobbing uncontrollably. COLE Get some EMTs down there, RIGHT NOW. Reject walks over to the main camera and gives an evil stare.[/quote] BRANNIGAN (shaking head) Deplorable! As somebody who’s done his fair share of shady things in the past, there’s no way I’d ever lay my hand on a woman unless it was a sanction match. I’m probably not alone in hoping the Blonds and D*LUX can put their differences aside, at least for a short while, to teach Reject and TK a lesson. I get sick just thinking about what they did. [b][color="#FF0000"]DEVIL'S PLAYGROUND[/color] [color="#0000FF"]James "Lunar Phoenix" Cone vs. Sly Sommers[/color][/b] BRANNIGAN And I have a feeling a lot of people will be sick after seeing the match dubbed the Devil‘s Playground for its barbaric stipulations. This one certainly isn’t for the faint of heart. [b][color="#FF0000"]INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE NO DISQUALIFICATION MATCH[/color] [color="#0000FF"]Colin Maguire, Jr vs. Jereme Grey[/color][/b] BRANNIGAN For the revived Intercontinental Title, as order by HeldDOWN~! General Manager Josie Baker, Colin Maguire Jr. and Jereme Grey will look to finally settle their score in a no disqualification bout. If fighting for pride and the title wasn’t enough already, Evelyn Maguire will serve as guest referee! Needless to say, Colin was none too pleased about that. The music cues as Brannigan wraps it up. BRANNIGAN As always, be sure to visit our website daily and stay tuned to the OAOAST television networks for more information as it becomes available. I’ll see you again in two weeks to shill Angleslam one last time before the big event on Sunday night, August 31. Don’t wait till the last minute, though. Call your local cable or satellite company and order Angleslam right now!

Whatever you want it to be. The days of "building" sets, if you will, are pretty much over. No ramp this month though.

Another jam packed show this week. The OAOAST is clicking on all cylinders right now. Malaysia dominated poor Kelly. Very impressive squash. Didn’t get the Max Mosley reference, but figured it probably had something to do with a dominatrix since Malaysia was involved in the match, which a Google search proved correctly. More goodness from the Duncan girls. Their segments are better than most stuff on TV. at the DA spot for HD. MITB matches: Both were really good, especially Bo vs. Alf. The Zack/Theodore segment was grade A stuff. I marked out over it. Never got to say this last time, but I dig The Love Shack logo. One word describes this week‘s LS: awesome. It started lighthearted and got serious as it went on. Loved the part where Leon admits he doesn’t have the IC catchphrase memorized yet and the bit about the cat screensaver from Cole. One win and Cooper’s starting to get a big head. But man did he ever receive a reality check in his match against Nathanial Black. Then you had the post-match stuff with James Cone. All kinds of things going down in Alf’s interview. Maddix wants Bo out, Alf takes exception to being viewed by Maddix as the easier of his next possible opponents in the MITB, and then Alf talking smack about Bo only to come face to face with the Metrosexual Monster. You gotta love a company that makes so much money we can afford to destroy a plasma TV. But it showed even heels have feelings. Triple Threat Match: Heck of a match with Reject going nuts at the end. The Maguires/Sophie segment was something. Damn. It wasn’t good to be a woman on the roster this week. MOTN: Alfdogg vs. Bohemoth QOTS: “The whole point of the contract is you can use it when it's most convenient for you. You say to a guy 'oh, hey, I'm gonna cash my contract in in about three weeks, give you a few weeks to prepare...', might as well say 'hey, while I'm at it, here's a copy of my last five matches on DVD and a list of my personal fears and dislikes for you to study, good luck!'“ -- Coach on the ideal time to cash in the MITB contract

[color="#00FF00"][b]* BANG * * BANG *[/b][/color] The loud explosion startles fans, but it’s back to normal when a cloud of [b][color="#9932CC"]purple haze[/color][/b] is released, bringing them to their feet as the CHRIST AIR EXPRESS burst out on the stage to the tune of “Rise Against“ by Like the Angels. COLE Talk about kicking things off with a bang. Wow! COACH I can barely hear myself think. COLE :hm: YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE! COACH What?! COLE I said what a match-up this should be. Instead of getting booed out of the building like they would’ve been 6 months ago, the CAE are cheered wildly. A sign their new stoner lifestyle has done wonders for their popularity. BUFFER The following special challenge match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, hailing from Laguna Beach, California, and weighing 185 pounds soaking wet, one-half of the wildly popular Christ Air Express… MMMMEEEELLLL!!! “YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The CAE flash the RAWK~! sign to let the fans know of their appreciation. COLE The brothers from Laguna Beach receiving love from the City of Brotherly Love, which is no easy feat. COACH It ain’t gonna get any easier for MEL tonight, that’s for sure. I can’t believe that idiot had the balls to challenge him. What happened at the Big Apple Spectacular was between Mr. Dick and Baron Windels. He’s got nothing to do with it. COLE Baron’s a good friend of the Christ Air Express and their sister Melody, who’s still his manager I might add. COACH Yeah, and to Baron’s credit he hasn’t interfered in her affairs -- all 100 of them! “My Dick” hits and Mr. Dick isn‘t just showered with boos, golden pyro rains down on him from the ceiling! The Cocky Prick solo as depending on where this is placed Malaysia is preparing for her Women’s title defense, reeling from her defeat or enjoying a little R&R after a successful title defense. BUFFER His opponent, from San Antonio, Texas, weighing 242 pounds… MMMISSSSSSSSTEEEEEERRRRR DICK! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” Mr. Dick enters the ring, tosses his glittery cowboy hat aside and tells MEL to bring it. MARV high fives his brother and exits. COACH How fair is this? You don’t see Malaysia ringside. Why should MARV be allowed to stay? I seriously doubt he has a manager’s license. COLE Obviously referee Clem Buzzlefoxer has deemed MARV is no risk to interfere. COACH Now that I think about it, old man Buzzlefoxer is right. MARV is no threat to Mr. Dick. Just look at ‘em. Mr. Dick would squash him like a bug. * DINGDINGDING * The bell sounds and both men lockup mid-ring. Mr. Dick goes behind and takes MEL down to the mat with a waistlock, then paintbrushes him to the cheers of a vocal minority. All too used to this kind of bullying MEL has a few choice words for the Cocky Prick. Mr. Dick backs off…then shoves MEL to the mat and drops an elbow, but nobody’s home! “YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" MEL grabs a side headlock and quickly is shot off, decked by a standing dropkick on the rebound. Rammed into the buckle MEL is then hammered in the corner. Whipped out he ducks a clothesline and returns with a flying head scissors, followed by a dropkick and VICTORY ROLL! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Both rush to their feet and Mr. Dick lands a kick. He fires MEL across and drives the knee… NO, MEL ROLLS HIM UP IN A SCHOOL BOY! COLE Oh, what a counter! ONE… TWO… THR-- KICKOUT! On the wrong end of a side headlock takeover, Mr. Dick raises his shoulder off the mat to prevent an accidental pin. Trapped square in the middle of the ring, he rolls MEL onto his back in a cradle! ONE… TWO… And only two, as MEL regains his position. Mr. Dick returns to a vertical base and executes a back suplex to break free. After being violently reintroduced to the turnbuckle MEL reverses an Irish whip and delivers a BAAAAAAAACK BODY DROP! “YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The crowd ROARS as MEL signals for one of his signature moves, MELANOMA…but when he scoops Mr. Dick up the Cocky Prick floats over and spikes him into the canvas with PURE PENETRATION!! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Reverse chinlock is applied and MEL begins kicking and screaming as Mr. Dick holds onto the bottom rope with his legs for extra leverage, drawing the ire of MARV and fans alike. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” COACH Why all the whining, Cole? Don’t the people see MARV trying to incriminate Mr. Dick by shaking the ropes? COLE :rolleyes: “LET’S GO MEL!” “LET’S GO MEL!” “LET’S GO MEL!” The adrenaline flowing and the blood pumping MEL starts his comeback, fighting out of the now side headlock with a series of elbows to the gut, but it’s short-lived however, as Mr. Dick rakes the eyes and goes back to the chinlock following a snap mare. COLE MEL just can’t catch a break right now. What a beating he’s sustained the last few minutes. COACH Similar to the one Baron Windels will receive Sunday night, August 31 at Angleslam. MEL wraps his hands around Mr. Dick’s head and sits down with a JAWBREAKER! “YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Mr. Dick staggers into a SPINNING HEEL KICK and is covered! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! MEL wrings the arm for the NOSEPLANT…but Mr. Dick answers with an INVERTED ATOMIC DROP and CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL!! COLE The Cock Shock! COACH Clem doesn’t even need to bother making the count, just ring the bell. The cover. ONE… TWO… THR-- KICKOUT! “YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE What heart being displayed by MEL here tonight. Win or lose, he can be proud of his performance. COACH There’s no such thing as moral victories in wrestling, Mikey. Sent for the ride, MEL leaps onto the middle turnbuckle and fakes a diving cross body block, causing Mr. Dick to drop down. When he pops back up MEL connects with a MISSLE DROPKICK! ONE… TWO… KICKOUT! Fired up, MEL unloads with a series of overhand chops. Mr. Dick reverses and Irish whip…and MEL spikes him with a SWINGING BULLDOG! ONE… TWO… THR-- NO! Slammed near the corner Mr. Dick gets the KNEES up as MEL comes down with the SHOOTING STAR PRESS, then dumps him through the ropes into MARV to add insult to injury! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” COLE What a cheap shot! COACH I’d say. If MEL has beef with MARV he should handle it privately and not in front of the cameras. COLE :stupid: Mr. Dick tosses MEL back in for THE COCK BLOCK! ONE… TWO… THREE!!! * DINGDINGDINGDING * BUFFER Here is your winner… MMMISSSSSSSSTEEEEEERRRRR DICK! “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” Though the match is over, Mr. Dick isn’t done yet. He lays into MEL some more, knocking MARV off the apron as he tries to help his big brother. “YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Like they had his back a few weeks ago, BARON WINDELS has the Christ Air Express’. With a BULLROPE in his possession, the Lone Star Gunslinger blindsides his former partner with the attached COWBELL, slicing Mr. Dick open! COACH You wanna talk about a cheap shot. [I]There[/I] was a cheap shot. Clem Buzzlefoxer attempts to restrain Baron, but the look in his eyes makes him think better of it. Pleading for mercy in the corner, a bloody Mr. Dick receives none and is HUNG OVER THE TOP ROPE!!! COLE Baron Windels has snapped! COACH He ought to be fined and suspended, Cole. You can kill a man this way. Not even the CAE can pry BW off Mr. Dick. More OAOAST officials rush out from the back to gain control of the situation, but Baron’s a man possessed. It’s only until MALAYSIA appears that BW releases Mr. Dick…and that’s so he can invite her in to fight! Officials and the CAE intervene before it can reach that point. Mr. Dick helped backstage by Malaysia. COLE Oh, man. We desperately need to take a break after that. There’s nothing more I can say about what just took place. We’ll be back.

That was actually last week's AS Shill Center. I may or may not do another one this week, depends on how long it'll take me to get my match done. But I appreciate the heads up.

Mr. Dick vs. MEL And maybe another AS Shill Center.

Speaking of the San Antonio Texans, I actually still have a team sticker that I got during a promotions giveaway at the mall. Even saw what probably was their last game ever on TV (the Spurs hadn't won anything yet so it was pretty exciting to have a team making a serious push for the championship). As for AS... Mr. Dick vs. Baron Windels