kkktookmybabyaway

kkk’s Top 103 Posters Number 4: MikeSC Well it was only a matter of time before Mike showed up, and for those of you that ventured into the Current Events folder in its heyday you will probably never look at a Michael from South Carolina the same way ever again. Honestly, there’s really no way I can convey to a n00b what Mike was like. But let me try nevertheless. If you had anything negative to say about Republicans, then Mike would counter your take. If you tried to counter Mike’s response, he’d counter your counter. Try to counter the counter to the counter? Yep, he’d counter. Want my advice? Don’t try to get the last word on Mike. Yet so many people fell into this trap. If I could sum up Mike’s tenure here, my first thought: Pope smoke. My second thought? CE Hall of Morons. Then there was the phone incident. Oh, the phone incident. Here is the common template for a MikeSC thread. Start out by giving a vague thread title. Have it involve an easy target. Then let the flaming begin. Man were those some good times. Ever since his banning, I’ve stopped going into CE threads that were created after his forced exodus. Of course, what resulted from this debautury was a new message board that’s been in place for more than two years. Of course, Mike rarely ventures over there, but that’s besides the point. Mike, you’ll always be my n*gga, and piss on the whiny bitches who bitched about his Current Events (and other folder) tomfoolery. And just think, I didn't even bring up Mike's exchanges with Ripper -- TSM's own ebony and ivory. 9:15 p.m. • Well I just had a “God damnit, why couldn’t I think of this 10 minutes prior?” moment. Years ago, the idiot boss declared that me and my co-worker who live two floors away from the rest of the office were REQUIRED to call our receptionist (I’ll call her Jane) whenever we leave the building. Well, today the idiot was trying to call my co-worker but he had left the office a few minutes before. After several attempts he then calls me and asks if my co-worker is there. I said I don’t think so and that I’m pretty sure he walked out a few minutes ago. He then asked, “Well did he leave the building?” N*gga I don’t know. Am I his secretary now? My co-worker then returned and told him the idiot is looking for him. A few minutes later I thought why didn’t I respond by saying “I don’t know if he left the building – why don’t you ask Jane if he left because that’s what we were told to do by you.” Oh, yeah, well I had sex with your wife~! 9:30 p.m. • Great. So the better half and I did something today that I knew was going to be trouble. With her being knocked up it was time to go to the pregger store for maternity clothes. Three shirts, two pants and two bras. Ugh. Oh well, at least they were on sale. And I finally got to find Glenn Beck’s “An Inconvenient Book” and some “100,000+ Baby Name” publication at the local book store for her b-day tomorrow. Maybe now she’ll finally find a name she likes that’s not from “Lord of the Rings.”

Put aluminum foil around wires you don't want your kitty to chew through.

11:30 a.m. • So last Friday I gave my notice. Now I really didn’t know what to expect. Oddly enough, with my social retardation and lackluster people skills, the last time I left one job for another job in the same area was May of 1995. Well, I got fired in 1996, so if you want to count that, I have no problem. Other than that, every job up until this most recent one I left because of relocation. So when I gave my letter, which basically said, "I’m going to be no longer working here,” I wasn’t sure if they would say, “Good. Get out,” or if the exchange would be more amicable. To my surprise, the whole thing went rather well. While I was ready to leave that day, I was more than content to stay two more weeks and finish up my work. Then again, had I left right then and there, those people would have been up poop creek without a paddle or nose plugs. So for the last week I’ve been working full-time and my soon-to-be former place of employment while working part-time at my soon-to-be-current place of employment. Basically, I’m doing stuff at home during the evenings for the latter place and I’ve put in 60+ hours between the two this past week. Man, I remember back during my college days I used to do this shit all the time. Not only was I a full-time student but I also worked full-time and participated in a few school activities that took up about 20 hours a week. Man were those days a bear. Then after I graduated and moved to Sappy Valley I worked two jobs, seven days a week and 60+ hours a week – all for shit pay. That was another fun 14 months of my life. Now I make decent money and work 40 hours. Christ did I turn into a lazy bastard, especially since my jobs now are white-collar and involve much sitting. My college jobs dealt with customer service and moving around. This brings back a memory to my Ohio employment, which Swift Terror can attest to. I worked at a test-scoring facility, and while the work was seasonal, it was very jam-packed, which meant plenty of overtime. It always baffled me that people who worked at this place on a seasonal basis would not take full advantage of the wage benefits. For example, if you put in a 40-hour workweek you got an extra $50. If you worked overtime you got time-and-a-half. Many times I’d wonder why people I supervised opted just to work 35 hours per week and no overtime. Me – I was a money-grubbing bastard. After all, on those days that you worked late or worked on weekends, you didn’t really work as hard as you did during the course of a normal workday. Why? Because you were going ABOVE and BEYOND what you were asked to do, so there wasn’t nearly as much scrutiny. The work was going to get done regardless, so what was the point of working harder just because you were getting paid more? Besides, on most of these “panic Saturdays” the bosses above me would bring in bagels or doughnuts and we’d take longer breaks. Now while I jumped at every chance to make more money, I mentioned there were some people that didn’t. I didn’t agree with their rationale, but there were some instances when I could see why they didn’t care. I had rent, bills and other expenses to pay. Some employees were college students and didn’t have to worry about any of that. Fair enough. But there were also people with the same responsibilities I had that didn’t have the financial means in place to be able to “afford” not getting a few extra dollars. After all, once a project was over, you could have all the time in the world to “relax” when you’re unemployed. But the best part of all this is that these same people that needed the money and didn’t take full advantage of the work available to them would bitch and moan at the end of a project because it ended early. There was one time a person got pissed off because a project ended early and she was only a few hours away from being eligible to collect unemployment. This was the same person that took several weeks off that past season to go on VACATION and didn’t take advantage of the available week or two offered to her before several projects to do prepwork. Man, I used to LOVE doing that. Want me to set up tables and chairs? Want me to sharpen pencils? Make copies? Shit. I’m there. And I was. And here I wanted to talk about my last Saturday at my place of employment and how this would be the last time I'd do my job with it being a winter month and the air conditioner turned on. (Well, maybe not the AC, but something blows out of those vents during the weekend when the building's owners are there and it's not heat.) Boy, did I go off the beaten path on this one. While I’m on my former job in Ohio, I almost want to bust out the “clerk pimp” story, but I just don’t feel like it at this time. Perhaps in the future, along with the conclusion of my Top 103 Posters list.

Yeah, that was Larry. "Witness my persecution." Didn't you meet the wife at B&N?

To lazy for reasons. Agent Me King Treble Knitec El Dandy Lushus Smues I'd like to now announce my yearly whoring-myself-to-try-and-last-another-round-or-two. If I make it past this round (and I just need another vote or two to do so) then anyone voting for me in the next round and beyond in which I emerge victorious will get to pick my avatar, avatar line and sig for at least 24 hours. What a deal! But first I have to eek out a win this round. Oh what the heck, I’ll let anyone voting for me past this point also get to choose my three features should I get out of this round, too.

Conference Championships San Diego @ New England (14.5) N.Y. Giants @ Green Bay (7.5) *************************************************************** N.Y. Jets (GertT 12-6) @ Pittsburgh Steelers (Kahran Ramsus 11-6) Gert T's Picks: San Diego 13, New England 31 N.Y. Giants 20, Green Bay 28 Kahran's Picks: San Diego 14, New England 40 N.Y. Giants 24, Green Bay 34 DIFF: Here are the total scores from each contest that will be involved with the first tie-breaker. SD/NE Total Score: 12-21=33 Gert's total score: 47 Kahran's total score: 56 Gert wins this matchup NYG/GB Total Score: 23-20=43 Gert's total score: 48 Kahran's total score: 58 Gert wins this matchup Gert T defeats Kahran 2-0 in first-level tie-breaker *************************************************************** New Orleans Saints (Cena's Writer 12-6) @ Dallas Cowboys (Hawk34 12-5-1) Cena's Picks: San Diego 21, New England 20 N.Y. Giants 28, Green Bay 17 Hawk's Picks: San Diego 17, New England 38 New York 16, Green Bay 17 DIFF: SD/NE Cena's Writer defeats Hawk34 2-1

Still haven't done so. My cards are still in a green bin in my closet. If memory serves, I think I had them divided by sport and had them sorted by year. After that, each year's set would be sorted by card number. Many sets had players grouped by teams anyway, so getting players in the proper "order" wasn't hard to do.

ManinBlak – Other than on-upping my poo-on-the-fingers story, I have nothing against Milky (until he ravages me in regional finals if I’m lucky enough to get there, and even then he’ll probably do it with a smile on his face), but when ManinBlak posted several blog entries, they were really good reads. Agent – Toughest one for me to call. While Ripper is now a multiple cat owner, I generally throw my support behind kkk Bowl participants, and Agent is a long-time members with a relatively good submission track record. CanadianGuitarist – See my Agent reasoning above. kkk – You don’t see politicians on Election Day walking out of a voting booth saying, “You know, I liked what that other person had to say about taxes and health care.” NYU – I don’t know much about kkc, and I think I voted against NYU in last year’s tournament in a contested race, and because I like the chap I have to give him my support this time around. King – One of the more difficult choices for me, but thankfully King has the Falcons franchise in my contest so there’s my copout. Carnival – I have more dealings with this cat-loving juggalo than Slayer. Mole – My second toughest choice this round. I like both, but Mole will go through tooth pain to make sure we all have a place to post. Or did he go through tooth pain to get a new TV and DVDs? Alfdogg – He just missed the playoffs with the Chiefs, so I hope this makes up for it in some way. Then again, I didn’t lose six contests by one pick or less. Kinetic – I’ve never really dealt with either poster, but Kinetic’s posts over the years have made me laugh. VitaminX – Green Bay Packers. Even though he doesn’t really like me, I liked the gimmick account of me he helped create. BobBarron – He’s going to the AFC Conference Championship yet again. BlackLushus – I’m going to need his wisdom when kkk jr. comes squirting out into this world later this year. E.Macphisto – Don’t really deal with either one that much, but I seem to deal more with Edwin. Not sure with what, though. AlKeiper – He’s always there on AIM to answer my baseball questions and why the voters in the eastern part of our state are worse than the ones where I live. Smues – Both have blogs that I like to read, and it's interesting to read Scroby's wrestling tales, but Smues choked once again this year with the Raiders.

I hope this setback won't affect your voting in this year's poster tournament...

7:30 a.m. • Pickkks for everyone. Seattle @ Green Bay (8.5) I think Green Bay will win the game, but not by eight points. Seattle 27, Green Bay 24. Jacksonville @ New England (13.5) As much as I want the Jags to win, I have a feeling all the talk about them being an "ideal winter opponent" will probably backfire. New England 31, Jacksonville 17. San Diego @ Indianapolis (8.5) I don't think Manning will have another bad game against the Chargers. I also heard Gates is listed as doubtful. Indianapolis 27, San Diego 10. N.Y. Giants @ Dallas (7.5) Instead of placing blame on Jessica Simpson, I think the Cowboys have other problems that deal with stuff on the field. But the real question for me in all this Jessica-gate nonsense is why did Romo bring a teammate with him on a vacation in which I probably wouldn't have left the luxury suite for three days? Then again, Simpson brings her parents with her everywhere she goes, so I guess that's worse. Oh, yeah. New York 27, Dallas 17.

Well, Green Bay did win the game. And it wasn't by eight points. Sad thing is I can't remember who I pick most of the time so when I start seeing scores I go, "Did I pick them? Of course, how could I not? They won by 30 points~!" Then I look at my selections and go "r'oh?"

All picks are posted. And to think Bob was just 12 minutes three-and-a-half hours away from winning this year's nl-asshole award.

Them's fighting words. And you better not be keeping that poor thing penned up all day.

I saw that just now while re-reading my picks (I already forgot who I took), and I knew your comment was going to be about that. Please note the time I typed it. Also, please note I've worked 60+ hours at two jobs for the past week. I'm leaving my pick unchanged, but I did clean up this gem: No more early morning entries for me. Of course, this doesn't defend me against my poorly worded afternoon/evening submissions.

12 a.m. • So earlier this week the better half and I were driving home from work when she pulled out a piece of paper and asked for my opinion on a dozen possible names for girls should kkk jr. be a she. Good lord. Well, I tried my best to be good while she was announcing the names that made her “final cut,” and for the most part I was. Look, I know I’m going to get zero say in what this kid’s going to be named. I know this is all a dog and pony show. I know that, and I’m fine with it. However, the best part of this came after the names were read and I gave my answer. There was a pause and following exchange of words was made. “Are you sure that’s your favorite name?” “Yes.” “You picked the same name as my mom.” Wow. Imagine that. Mrs. kkk’s mom and I both picked the same name out of a dozen possibilities. What the are the chances of that happening – one in 12? Well you would think is the end of the great what-to-call-our-kid-if-she-sprouts-tits debate. I mean, that’s what I thought. After all, she had her list and two out of the three judges selected the same entry. Cased closed, right? This evening during dinner, she pulled out another sheet of paper. Do I really need to say any more at this point? She's already got the name for a boy. Like this gender is going to be any different. In the end I really don't care. However, my only condition is that kkk jr. isn’t named after A TELEVISION OR MOVIE CHARACTER!

I never liked Lance's show. Sorry.

Was it that Lance guy in the afternoons? (Not sure if he's still on the air.) Or that local morning show? And at least Casey was a very popular figure in Cincy. Not saying it was OK to do what he did, but it's no worse than naming a kid Arowen. Actually, upon second thought, Arowen is worse.

6:30 p.m. • So I had “Around the Horn” on and they were talking about some golf chick saying something mean about Tiger Woods. Oh? This ought to be good. Time to make that bitch pay because no matter what she would have said/done a white man doing the same thing would be worse off 100-fold. So after the commercial break I found out what she did. You got to be fucking kidding me. THAT? Of course, on “PTI” Wilbon was talking about this and said that he would like to watch that “Great Debaters” movie with this chick, get to the scene where there’s a lynching and then “talk about it” afterwards “over coffee.” For fuck’s sake people, no wonder Hitlery won the primary after crying. My God are we a bunch of pussies. If certain words are soooooooooooooooooooooooooo terrible, and soooooooooooooooooooooooooo hurtful, why don’t we just ban them outright and give prison terms to people that dare say such mean things? If she would have said Tiger's wife loved his colored dong on live TV, then I could understand her getting into a bit of trouble. But lynching? Even I felt bad for this woman, and I have no idea who she is. It could have been worse, though. She could have said that the liberal sports media gushes over Tiger because they want to see a golfer of color succeed in the PGA. • Speaking of Hitlery, I heard a few stories after her New Hampshire win that a bunch of soccer moms decided to vote for her after she cried. Uh, lemme get this straight. The same people that were totally off on the polling results now want us to believe them when it comes to this? Next thing you know, there will be news publications out there telling us that global warming will kill us when a generation ago these same media sources told us global cooling would do us in. Boy, it’s good thing that hasn’t happened.

With two of our cats the names were already provided. When we got Max we waited until he got a clean bill of health (or as clean as a stray can get) and then we just waited a week or so until a name just came to us.

1:30 p.m. • Now it’s time for the Dr. Laura Call of the Day. This woman married some guy who always plays video games and Instant Messaging on the computer. They have one baby and thinks he should be more responsible. Uhhhh, I don’t think I want to hear the rest of this one… 9:30 p.m. • You know what’s got me wondering. With the polls and pundits expecting a double-digit Obama win yesterday, and getting a way different result once all the votes were cast, how come I haven’t been hearing about voter disenfranchisement? How come I haven’t heard about any far-sighted Jews talking about confusing ballots? How come I haven’t heard about snarling police dogs keeping the three black people in New Hampshire away from the polls? How come I haven’t heard about calls to nursing homes and flyers littering the plighted areas of town telling people that voting will take place on Wednesday, January 9 instead of Tuesday, January 8? How come I haven’t heard about defective voting machines or erroneous tabulation counters? How come? I’ll tell you what. Seeing how I didn’t hear any of these problems after the 2006 elections, I must say that all that election-reform hooey really must have worked. It seems that literally overnight all of our voting problems were solved. Weird.

Glad to see you're focusing on the important things in this world.

Divisional Round Seattle @ Green Bay (8.5) Jacksonville @ New England (13.5) San Diego @ Indianapolis (8.5) N.Y. Giants @ Dallas (7.5) *************************************************************************** N.Y. Jets (Gert T 11-6) @ Miami Dolphins (Spaceman Spiff 11-5) Gert T: Seattle 17, Green Bay 27 Jacksonville 24, New England 34 San Diego 17, Indianapolis 31 N.Y. Giants 20, Dallas 24 Spaceman Spiff: Seattle 20, Green Bay 31 Jacksonville 17, New England 34 San Diego 20, Indianapolis 31 N.Y. Gants 27, Dallas 31 DIFF: JAX/NE GertT defeated Spaceman Spiff 3-2 *************************************************************************** Buffalo Bills (Bob Barron 11-6) @ Pittsburgh Steelers (Kahran Ramsus 10-6) Bob Barron: Seattle 14, Green Bay 28 Jacksonville 17, New England 35 San Diego 13, Indianapolis 27 N.Y. Giants 10, Dallas 17 Kahran Ramsus: Seattle 13, Green Bay 30 Jacksonville 24, New England 28 San Diego 21, Indianapolis 40 N.Y. Giants 31, Dallas 34 DIFF: NE/JAX Kahran Ramsus defeated Bob Barron 3-2 *************************************************************************** Dallas Cowboys (Hawk34 11-5-1) @ Detroit Lions (Chazz1998 11-5) Hawk34: Seattle 21, Green Bay 27 Jacksonville 14, New England 31 San Diego 13, Indianapolis 23 N.Y. Giants 27, Dallas 31 Chazz1998: Seattle 23, Green Bay 27 Jacksonville 14, New England 31 San Diego 20, Indianapolis 34 N.Y. Giants 17, Dallas 28 DIFF: NYG/DAL Hawk34 defeated Chazz1998 1-0 *************************************************************************** New Orleans Saints (Cena's Writer 11-6) @ San Francisco 49ers (Devo 11-5) Cena's Writer: Seattle 17, Green Bay 24 Jacksonville 20, New England 31 San Diego 17, Indianapolis 34 N.Y. Giants 27, Dallas 21 Devo: Seattle 20, Green Bay 31 Jacksonville 38, New England 35 San Diego 17, Indianapolis 28 N.Y. Giants 21, Dallas 31 DIFF: SEA/GB, NYG/DAL Both teams are tied at 2-2. First tie-breaker (whoever is closest to the total score of each contest): Seattle 20 + Green Bay 42 = 62 Jacksonville 20 + New England 31 = 51 San Diego 28 + Indianapolis 24 = 52 N.Y. Giants 21 + Dallas 17 = 38 Cena's Writer 41, Devo 51 Cena's Writer 51, Devo 73 Cena's Writer 51, Devo 45 Cena's Writer 48, Devo 52 Cena's Writer wins the first tie-breaker 3-1

Doesn't matter. The cat will still be running things. Perhaps my crack-whore sister-in-law was also invited to this wedding...

3 p.m. • So I went to bed last night and woke up at 1 a.m. due to swallowing some snore spit down the wrong pipe and woke up gagging. Now this has happened a few times in the last few years, but this time it forced me to get up and head over to the bathroom. As I stood there lurched over the sink I realized it was time to hurl. God damnit. From the sink to the toilet. OK, hurry up, let’s get this over with. Christ I hate it when you’re anticipating the chuck. Just get it over with already. Here we go… BLEEEEEEECH. I should say BLEEEEEEECH 20 more times to give you the real-time account of how my night went, but that would be unfunny overkill… BLEEEEEEECH BLEEEEEEECH BLEEEEEEECH BLEEEEEEECH BLEEEEEEECH BLEEEEEEECH BLEEEEEEECH BLEEEEEEECH BLEEEEEEECH BLEEEEEEECH BLEEEEEEECH BLEEEEEEECH BLEEEEEEECH BLEEEEEEECH BLEEEEEEECH BLEEEEEEECH BLEEEEEEECH BLEEEEEEECH BLEEEEEEECH BL... BLE... BLEEEEEEECH And the weird thing about this experience? I looked at what I barfed and couldn’t recognize anything. Weird. Of course, this woke up the better half and she asked if I was going into work in the morning. “Yes,” I said. “Why?” she asked. “Well because I threw up.” Seriously, put aside the aftertaste, you can feel pretty damn good after this ordeal. 8 p.m. • Speaking of Blech, from what I've been hearing, it sounds like Obama will win the NH primary over Hitlery. Whatever. I'm more pissed with the candidates on my side at this moment. THIS is what I have to pick from? I was recently talking to someone on AIM and realized that Obama is like the liberal’s version of W., but for an entirely different reason. Peep this: Obama: articulate. Commies think he’s great. My peeps think he’s full of shit. W: stumbles through words. Commies think he’s a dunce. My peeps think he’s just like us. Oh well, at least Hitlery can’t bitch about the “glass ceiling” or people “afraid to elect a minority/woman.” Too bad the person leading her in the polls isn’t some old white guy. I heard Obama got some extra security. With a lead on the Clintons, I don’t blame him. 9 p.m. • Looks like roids B-12 shots isn't the only thing that McNamee guy is injecting into people. This story doesn't really affect my opinion of the roids case one way or another, but here's the rest of the story. • Now I think I'm really going to be sick.

8:30 p.m. • So I’ve been hearing about Roger Clemens and his hard-hitting “60 Minutes” interview. First off, I have to chuckle because I’ve heard more than one person go “OMG Roger knows Mike Wallace – not fair, soft interview!” So we are supposed to discount this interview due to media bias? How come when the same griping goes on in the political world the accusers are right-wing nut jobs? Well that’s because we are. Nevermind. Is Roger telling the truth? I don’t know and I don’t care. I will say this, though. For now I will take his word. Not because I believe in that innocent until proven guilty stuff. But rather if he gets busted for roids, I’ll have plenty of time to make up for saying, “let’s just wait until his dealer comes out of hiding.” But wait, Marian Jones and Barry Bonds did many of the same things – did you believe them? Why should I – they are black. • Some guy from Ohio State just scored a touchdown on a 65-yard run. I don’t care who wins the BcS title, but I guess I’m pulling for Ohio State. I’m sure they have more white players than LSU, but a bigger reason is I sometimes get tired of hearing how one team is going to dominate a contest before the game even starts. By the way, will a college football fan help me out on this: what do those little symbols on a player’s helmet stand for – the number of games played/started? • OK, I've had enough of these "productivity enhancer" ads. Go away.