kkktookmybabyaway

5 p.m. • Yesterday I was listening to Mark Madden’s local radio show, and he brought up this article on ESPN.com that ranked all 80 Super Bowl teams. Normally I don’t care for stupid lists/rankings like this, but for some reason I was intrigued. Below is ESPN’s rankings, followed by a comment about each team. The entire list and full commentary about each team can be found here. 80) 1979 LOS ANGELES RAMS The Rams led the NFL in interceptions thrown in '79, with four different QBs contributing. 79) 2003 CAROLINA PANTHERS The Panthers barely outscored their opponents during the regular season (seven of their 11 wins were by three points or less) despite a pretty easy schedule – only six games against .500-or-better teams. 78) 2000 NEW YORK GIANTS The Giants were strong on D, especially against the run (allowing just 3.2 yards per carry) and did beat the Eagles three times, but won a weak conference and lacked star power (only two Pro Bowlers). 77) 1982 MIAMI DOLPHINS The Dolphins were 19th in total yards, making them one of the worst offensive teams to reach the Super Bowl. 76) 1985 NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS QB Tony Eason had more picks than TDs (17 to 11). 75) 1986 DENVER BRONCOS How did they reach Super Bowl with such mediocre team statistical rankings? Oh yeah, they beat a Marty Schottenheimer-coached team in the AFC title game. 74) 1996 NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS It certainly wasn't a great team and was helped when 9-7 Jacksonville knocked off 13-3 Denver in the divisional round. 73) 1993 BUFFALO BILLS Despite a 12-4 record, this team had slipped substantially from previous years. 72) 1999 TENNESSEE TITANS Despite its 13-3 record, there were some smoke and mirrors involved since the Titans barely outgained their opponents and didn't dominate any statistical category. 71) 1994 SAN DIEGO CHARGERS This team takes its lumps because of the pummeling it took in the Super Bowl against one of the finest offenses ever assembled. 70) 1970 DALLAS COWBOYS They went just 3-4 against teams .500 or better, including drubbings of 38-0 and 54-13. 69) 1988 CINCINNATI BENGALS They allowed the second-most points of any playoff teams, and while three of Cincinnati's four losses were by seven or fewer points, the fourth was a 35-point defeat at Houston with home-field advantage and the playoffs still at stake. 68) 1995 PITTSBURGH STEELERS Their leading rusher was Erric Pegram, and they lost three games by 13 or more points. 67) 1966 KANSAS CITY CHIEFS Len Dawson compiled the second-best passer rating of his Hall of Fame career. 66) 1992 BUFFALO BILLS The Bills had excellent rankings in the major categories, with the exception of 13th in yards allowed. 65) 1974 MINNESOTA VIKINGS This team lost by more than four points only once, but laid an egg in the Super Bowl, compiling a mere 119 net yards and scoring only on a blocked punt recovered in the end zone. 64) 1987 DENVER BRONCOS After allowing more than 30 points just once in 12 nonstrike games, Denver coughed up a combined 75 in the AFC Championship Game and the Super Bowl. 63) 1975 DALLAS COWBOYS Staubach didn't have one of his better seasons statistically (16 picks), and the Cowboys had the worst record among NFC playoff participants. 62) 1981 CINCINNATI BENGALS The Bengals held the NFL's highest-scoring team, the Chargers, to a single touchdown in the AFC Championship Game – the coldest contest in league history at minus-9 degrees with a wind chill of minus-59. 61) 1977 DENVER BRONCOS Denver had neither a 500-yard rusher nor a 30-catch wide receiver, but still went 8-2 against opponents .500 or better. 60) 1973 MINNESOTA VIKINGS The Vikings allowed the second-fewest points in the NFL, but ranked toward the middle of the pack in yards allowed. 59) 1972 WASHINGTON REDSKINS The Redskins enjoyed solid performances from Billy Kilmer and Larry Brown, but their offense ranked just 11th in total yardage. 58) 1989 DENVER BRONCOS Yes, this team was the victim of the largest blowout in Super Bowl history. Because of that drubbing, many fans forget that the Broncos allowed the fewest points in the league in '89. 57) 2002 OAKLAND RAIDERS: The Raiders faced a difficult schedule, going 9-4 against teams .500 or better. But they lost four straight at one point, and were woefully unprepared for Tampa Bay in the Super Bowl. 56) 1971 MIAMI DOLPHINS Offensively, Bob Griese compiled the highest passer rating of his career, and Larry Csonka had the first of three consecutive 1,000-yard rushing seasons. 55) 1967 OAKLAND RAIDERS The Raiders did nothing for the credibility of the upstart league by losing convincingly to a Packers team that was in decline and coming off the "Ice Bowl." 54) 1980 PHILADELPHIA EAGLES Philadelphia loses style points for dropping three of its last four regular-season games and for going just 4-3 against teams with a record of at least .500. 53) 1976 MINNESOTA VIKINGS The Vikings were just 2-2-1 against teams .500 or better in playing a weak schedule and the defense was 21st in average yards per rush. 52) 1991 BUFFALO BILLS Amazingly, this Bills defense allowed the second-most yardage in the league. 51) 1970 BALTIMORE COLTS The Colts had the second-easiest strength of schedule among postmerger Super Bowl teams, losing two of their three games against .500-plus teams -- by 20 and 17 points. 50) 2005 SEATTLE SEAHAWKS What does it say about Seattle that it became the only team to outgain and commit fewer turnovers than its Super Bowl opponent and still lose? 49) 1968 NEW YORK JETS The Jets had just the third-best record in the AFL that season. Namath completed fewer than 50 percent of his passes, throwing more interceptions than touchdowns. 48) 1967 GREEN BAY PACKERS This team gets docked for ranking just ninth out of 16 NFL teams in points and yards gained. 47) 2001 NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS The Patriots had poor rankings in offensive and defensive yardage (outgained overall). 46) 2004 PHILADELPHIA EAGLES This team was near the top of the league in just one major statistical category, fewest points allowed, and it played just two teams in the regular season with records above .500. 45) 1969 MINNESOTA VIKINGS Minnesota was just 10th out of 16 teams in yards but still led the NFL in scoring (yeah, those league-leading 30 interceptions helped). 44) 1998 ATLANTA FALCONS Atlanta knocked out the highest-scoring team in NFL history in the NFC Championship Game. Its only two losses came against 12-4 teams. 43) 1990 BUFFALO BILLS Despite possessing the ball for less than 20 minutes, the Bills narrowly lost as Scott Norwood's 47-yard field-goal attempt sailed wide right. 42) 1988 SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS Although the Niners lost six games in Bill Walsh's final season, they went 6-3 against .500 or better teams and easily won their first two postseason games (34-9 and 28-3). 41) 2005 PITTSBURGH STEELERS The Steelers hit their stride at the right time and won the Super Bowl as a wild card after winning their final four regular-season games to qualify for the playoffs. 40) 1980 OAKLAND RAIDERS Ordinary statistically (they relied on a league-leading 35 interceptions, including 13 by Lester Hayes), the Raiders ramped things up in the postseason. 39) 1982 WASHINGTON REDSKINS Despite allowing the fewest points in the NFL during a nine-game, strike-shortened regular season, Washington was a three-point underdog in the Super Bowl. 38) 1969 KANSAS CITY CHIEFS The Chiefs didn't even win their division, getting swept by the Raiders and losing to the second-year Bengals. Their primary quarterback, Len Dawson, threw 13 interceptions and just nine touchdowns. 37) 1997 GREEN BAY PACKERS The Packers went 7-1 against teams with a record of .500 or better. But the Pack had one weakness: stopping the run. Terrell Davis rushed for 157 yards and three TDs and Denver had the upset. 36) 1968 BALTIMORE COLTS It allowed the fewest points in the NFL and ranked No. 2 in points scored. Its only loss came against Cleveland, a division champion. 35) 2002 TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS Defense, defense, defense. Tampa Bay's offensive rankings were even worse than those of the 2000 Ravens. 34) 1984 MIAMI DOLPHINS Wide receivers Mark Clayton and Mark Duper each topped 70 receptions and 1,300 yards as the Dolphins scored more touchdowns than any team in NFL history (70). 33) 1990 NEW YORK GIANTS How did the Giants win? They didn't make mistakes, committing just 14 turnovers -- the fewest since the NFL went to a 16-game schedule in 1978. 32) 2003 NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS New England's stout defense made up for a pedestrian offense, as the Patriots allowed the fewest points in the league for the only time in franchise history. 31) 1974 PITTSBURGH STEELERS Pittsburgh made up for its lack of a strong passing attack by pounding the ball effectively on the ground. 30) 1987 WASHINGTON REDSKINS Washington entered the playoffs with a quarterback controversy and a defense ranked 18th in yards allowed. It had just the third-best record in the NFC, even with a soft schedule and a 3-0 mark in games involving replacement players. 29) 2000 BALTIMORE RAVENS Statistically, this was the best defense in NFL history (the Ravens allowed 33 fewer points than the '85 Bears). 28) 1983 WASHINGTON REDSKINS Something often overlooked regarding this team is its ordinary defense, which ranked 11th in points allowed and 12th in yards allowed and featured just one Pro Bowler (Dave Butz). 27) 1983 LOS ANGELES RAIDERS The impressive Super Bowl win helps vault this team to No. 27 despite some shaky times during the regular season (the Raiders allowed more than 30 points five times). 26) 1995 DALLAS COWBOYS This team equaled the 8-2 mark against teams .500 or better of the '93 Cowboys and had 10 players named to the Pro Bowl. 25) 1981 SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS Despite the reputation of the 49ers' passing attack, with Joe Montana, Dwight Clark and Freddie Solomon, the team's defense was actually more impressive, ranking No. 2 in the NFL in points and yards allowed. 24) 1977 DALLAS COWBOYS Dallas' defense wasn't as stout as it would be the following year, as it ranked eighth in points allowed, five spots lower than in '78. 23) 2001 ST. LOUIS RAMS St. Louis ranked No. 1 in the NFL in points scored (despite committing the most turnovers in the league) and offensive yardage and third in the league in yards allowed – 21 spots ahead of the Pats. 22) 1966 GREEN BAY PACKERS The '66 team was pretty mediocre on offense, ranking in the middle of the NFL pack in yards gained, and its leading rusher, Jim Taylor, averaged just 3.5 yards per carry. 21) 1973 MIAMI DOLPHINS The '66 team was pretty mediocre on offense, ranking in the middle of the NFL pack in yards gained, and its leading rusher, Jim Taylor, averaged just 3.5 yards per carry. 20) 1997 DENVER BRONCOS The balanced Broncos ranked No. 1 in the NFL in points and offensive yardage, and its defense allowed the fifth-fewest yards in the league. 19) 1978 DALLAS COWBOYS The Cowboys ranked No. 1 in points scored and No. 3 in fewest points allowed, and they narrowly lost to one of the greatest teams in NFL history in the Super Bowl. 18) 1976 OAKLAND RAIDERS A less-than-impressive 113-point scoring differential means the Raiders pulled out a lot of squeakers – they won five games by four points or less – and their biggest win was 49-16 over the 0-14 expansion Bucs. 17) 1993 DALLAS COWBOYS All three of their postseason victories were by double figures, including wins over a young Brett Favre and the Steve Young-led Niners in the NFC title game. 16) 1979 PITTSBURGH STEELERS The Steelers lose style points for 34-10 and 35-7 losses in the regular season and for letting a 9-7 opponent take the lead into the fourth quarter of the Super Bowl. 15) 1971 DALLAS COWBOYS Roger Staubach compiled a career-best passer rating, and the Cowboys won their last seven regular-season games after Landry made Staubach the unquestioned starter over Craig Morton. 14) 1999 ST. LOUIS RAMS The knock on this team was its easy schedule. It went 3-2 against teams .500 or better, and they played two close postseason games. 13) 1975 PITTSBURGH STEELERS The Steelers held their opponents to 10 points or fewer 10 times in 17 total games. 12) 1998 DENVER BRONCOS John Elway compiled the best passer rating of his career, and Terrell Davis became the only NFL player to rush for 2,000 yards and 20 touchdowns in the same season. 11) 1994 SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS Over its final 13 games (including the playoffs), it scored more than 40 six times and less than 30 just twice, and one of those was the season finale – which the Niners lost – when Young and Jerry Rice were benched after the first quarter. 10) 1991 WASHINGTON REDSKINS Their point differential (+261) is tied for second-best since the 16-game schedule began. They lost two games by a combined five points, and one of those came in the final game. 9) 2004 NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS The stats are strong on both sides of the ball, the two losses were on the road to 15-1 Pittsburgh and by one point to Miami, and they were 9-1 against .500 or better teams. 8) 1986 NEW YORK GIANTS For those of you who think we have this team ranked too high, we offer five words: Lawrence Taylor in his prime. 7) 1972 MIAMI DOLPHINS The Dolphins played the easiest schedule of all 80 Super Bowl participants, and their passing game was ordinary. 6) 1996 GREEN BAY PACKERS The '96 Packers are one of two postmerger Super Bowl participants to lead the NFL in points scored while allowing the fewest points. 5) 1984 SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS Joe Montana was entering his prime and enjoyed the first of three seasons with a passer rating higher than 100. 4) 1992 DALLAS COWBOYS The only knock against this team is its soft schedule, which is the sixth-easiest of any Super Bowl participant since the AFL-NFL merger. 3) 1978 PITTSBURGH STEELERS Pittsburgh's two losses were by a total of 10 points, and both defeats came against playoff qualifiers. 2) 1985 CHICAGO BEARS The Bears won 14 games by double digits, including three dominant postseason performances. 1) 1989 SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS This team gets our nod due to its excellence on both sides of the ball, mind-boggling statistics and perhaps the most dominant postseason run in NFL history. Like I said before, I usually don’t care about “Who is/what team is the greatest of all-time?” but I decided to do a little calculating. Below is a list of each Super Bowl game and the competitiveness of each matchup. What I did was take each Super Bowl game, took the team that was higher ranked (the worse team in rankings, as according to ESPN) and subtracted it from the other team’s rank. The higher the score, the bigger the mismatch, according to ESPN. For example, the biggest mismatch was in 1985 with the second-ranked Bears clobbering the 76th-ranked Patriots. I included the final score of each game, too. Strength-of-Team Differentials High Score: 74 Low Score: 1 Average Score: 36.8 1985: 74 Score Bears (2), Patriots (76) Chicago 46, New England 10 1996: 68 Score Packers (6), Patriots (74) Green Bay 35, New England 21 1986: 67 Score Giants (8), Broncos (75) N.Y. Giants 39, Denver 20 1979: 64 Score Steelers (16), Rams (80) Pittsburgh 31, L.A. Rams 19 1992: 62 Score Cowboys (4), Bills (66) Dallas 52, Buffalo 17 1994: 60 Score 49ers (11), Chargers (71) San Francisco 49, San Diego 26 1999: 58 Score Rams (14), Titans (72) St. Louis 23, Tennessee 16 1989: 57 Score 49ers (1), Broncos (58) San Francisco 55, Denver 10 1993: 56 Score Cowboys (17), Bills (73) Dallas 30, Buffalo 13 1972: 52 Score Dolphins (7), Redskins (59) Miami 14, Washington 7 1975: 50 Score Steelers (13), Cowboys (63) Pittsburgh 21, Dallas 17 2000: 49 Score Ravens (29), Giants (78) Baltimore 34, N.Y. Giants 7 2003: 47 Score Patriots (32), Panthers (79) New England 32, Carolina 29 1966: 45 Score Packers (22), Chiefs (67) Green Bay 35, Kansas City 10 1991: 42 Score Redskins (10), Bills (52) Washington 37, Buffalo 24 1995: 42 Score Cowboys (26), Steelers (68) Dallas 27, Pittsburgh 17 1971: 41 Score Cowboys (15), Dolphins (56) Dallas 24, Miami 3 1973: 39 Score Dolphins (21), Vikings (60) Miami 24, Minnesota 7 1982: 38 Score Redskins (39), Dolphins (77) Washington 27, Miami 17 1977: 37 Score Cowboys (24), Broncos (61) Dallas 27, Denver 10 1981: 37 Score 49ers (25), Bengals (62) San Francisco 26, Cincinnati 21 2004: 37 Score Patriots (9), Eagles (46) New England 24, Philadelphia 21 1976: 35 Score Raiders (18), Vikings (53) Oakland 32, Minnesota 14 1974: 34 Score Steelers (31), Vikings (65) Pittsburgh 16, Minnesota 6 1987: 34 Score Redskins (30), Broncos (64) Washington 42, Denver 10 1998: 32 Score Broncos (12), Falcons (44) Denver 34, Atlanta 19 1984: 29 Score 49ers (5), Dolphins (34) San Francisco 38, Miami 16 1988: 27 Score 49ers (42), Bengals (69) San Francisco 20, Cincinnati 16 2001: 24 Score Patriots (47), Rams (23) New England 20, St. Louis 17 2002: 22 Score Buccaneers (35), Raiders (57) Tampa Bay 48, Oakland 21 1970: 19 Score Colts (51), Cowboys (70) Baltimore 16, Dallas 13 1997: 17 Score Broncos (20), Packers (37) Denver 31, Green Bay 24 1978: 16 Score Steelers (3), Cowboys (19) Pittsburgh 35, Dallas 31 1980: 14 Score Raiders (40), Eagles (54) Oakland 27, Philadelphia 10 1968: 13 Score Jets (49), Colts (36) N.Y. Jets 16, Baltimore 7 1990: 10 Score Giants (33), Bills (43) N.Y. Giants 20, Buffalo 19 2005: 9 Score Steelers (41), Seahawks (50) Pittsburgh 21, Seattle 10 1967: 7 Score Packers (48), Raiders (55) Green Bay 33, Oakland 14 1969: 7 Score Chiefs (38), Vikings (45) Minnesota 7, Kansas City 23 1983: 1 Score Raiders (27), Redskins (28) L.A. Raiders 38, Washington 9 Another thing I decided to check out was each Super Bowl game in terms of team quality. Here I took the rankings of each team per Super Bowl and added them together. The higher the score, the worse the game was, in terms of quality of teams, according to ESPN. For example, the 1970 Super Bowl was the worst when it came to quality of teams, with the 51st-ranked Colts beating the 70th-ranked Cowboys on a last-second field goal. Final score are also posted. Quality of Team Matchups: High Score: 121 Low Score: 22 Average Score: 81 1970: 121 Score Colts (51), Cowboys (70) Baltimore 16, Dallas 13 1982: 116 Score Redskins (39), Dolphins (77) Washington 27, Miami 17 1988: 111 Score 49ers (42), Bengals (69) San Francisco 20, Cincinnati 16 2003: 111 Score Patriots (32), Panthers (79) New England 32, Carolina 29 2000: 107 Score Ravens (29), Giants (78) Baltimore 34, N.Y. Giants 7 1967: 103 Score Packers (48), Raiders (55) Green Bay 33, Oakland 14 1974: 96 Score Steelers (31), Vikings (65) Pittsburgh 16, Minnesota 6 1979: 96 Score Steelers (16), Rams (80) Pittsburgh 31, L.A. Rams 19 1980: 94 Score Raiders (40), Eagles (54) Oakland 27, Philadelphia 10 1987: 94 Score Redskins (30), Broncos (64) Washington 42, Denver 10 1995: 94 Score Cowboys (26), Steelers (68) Dallas 27, Pittsburgh 17 2002: 92 Score Buccaneers (35), Raiders (57) Tampa Bay 48, Oakland 21 2005: 91 Score Steelers (41), Seahawks (50) Pittsburgh 21, Seattle 10 1993: 90 Score Cowboys (17), Bills (73) Dallas 30, Buffalo 13 1966: 89 Score Packers (22), Chiefs (67) Green Bay 35, Kansas City 10 1981: 87 Score 49ers (25), Bengals (62) San Francisco 26, Cincinnati 21 1999: 86 Score Rams (14), Titans (72) St. Louis 23, Tennessee 16 1968: 85 Score Jets (49), Colts (36) N.Y. Jets 16, Baltimore 7 1977: 85 Score Cowboys (24), Broncos (61) Dallas 27, Denver 10 1969: 83 Score Chiefs (38), Vikings (45) Kansas City 23, Minnesota 7 1986: 83 Score Giants (8), Broncos (75) N.Y. Giants 39, Denver 20 1994: 82 Score 49ers (11), Chargers (71) San Francisco 49, San Diego 26 1973: 81 Score Dolphins (21), Vikings (60) Miami 24, Minnesota 7 1996: 80 Score Packers (6), Patriots (74) Green Bay 35, New England 21 1985: 78 Score Bears (2), Patriots (76) Chicago 46, New England 10 1975: 76 Score Steelers (13), Cowboys (63) Pittsburgh 21, Dallas 17 1990: 76 Score Giants (33), Bills (43) N.Y. Giants 20, Buffalo 19 1971: 71 Score Cowboys (15), Dolphins (56) Dallas 24, Miami 3 1976: 71 Score Raiders (18), Vikings (53) Oakland 32, Minnesota 14 1992: 70 Score Cowboys (4), Bills (66) Dallas 52, Buffalo 17 2001: 70 Score Rams (23), Patriots (47) New England 20, St. Louis 17 1972: 66 Score Dolphins (7), Redskins (59) Miami 14, Washington 7 1991: 62 Score Redskins (10), Bills (52) Washington 37, Buffalo 24 1989: 59 Score 49ers (1), Broncos (58) San Francisco 55, Denver 10 1997: 57 Score Broncos (20), Packers (37) Denver 31, Green Bay 24 1998: 56 Score Broncos (12), Falcons (44) Denver 34, Atlanta 19 1983: 55 Score Raiders (27), Redskins (28) L.A. Raiders 38, Washington 9 2004: 55 Score Patriots (9), Eagles (46) New England 24, Philadelphia 21 1984: 39 Score 49ers (5), Dolphins (34) San Francisco 38, Miami 16 1978: 22 Score Steelers (3), Cowboys (19) Pittsburgh 35, Dallas 31

9 p.m. KKK's Top 103 Posters Number 41: Canadian Chris His name is Chris, and he is from Canada. He’s been the Broncos in my NFL pick ‘em contest since it started four years ago, just missing the playoffs for the first time this year. I think he likes poker, too. And he does some Death Pool thing. Now I know I’m too late in getting in on this year’s action, but for the heck of it I’ll list the 20 celebs/public figures who I want to see kick the bucket sometime this year. Ted Kennedy Pat Leahy Barbara Boxer Nancy Pelosi Ed Rendell Christopher Dodd Dick Durbin Carl Levin Charles Schumer John Dingell John Conyers Barney Frank Sheila Jackson Lee William Jefferson Jim McDermott John Murtha Eleanor Holmes Norton Charles Rangel Robert Wexler Oh, yeah… And now a word from the expert panel I have put together to comment on the people I’ve listed. From EricMM: 8 p.m. • Well, I got my anniversary present five months early. And I was right about it being a piece of furniture. It’s a fucking recliner! And you know what? It’s comfortable. Some stuff in the dining/living room got re-arranged to make space, but whatever. It’s not like I’m going to move this shit around; I’ll be sleeping in my chair-bed with a bag of potato chips at my side with football playing on the television. • While I’m on the side of many right-wing issues, one that I’m “eh” on involves capital punishment. The reason I sometimes get uneasy when someone gets a death sentence is because what if that person didn’t do the crime and is put down? Now if you’re on videotaped shooting an unarmed Quickie Mart clerk, then I want you to die. No appeals, no hearing about how you were abused as a kid, none of that shit. Die. However, if there’s the slightest shred of doubt, I would rather have someone spend the rest of his or her life in a cell 24/7. Of course, the problem with this is that this “life in jail” many times comes with television, Internet and other goodies, like anal sex. This is why I can’t fault victims and their families for wanting to see their assailant put to do death. If this would happen to me, I know I’d want the fucker dead. Hell, if given the chance, I’d probably try to off the bastard before deciding to call the cops. Why am I babbling about this? Here’s why. This guy is a better person than me. I know the first thing I'd want to do as a free man is kill the bitch who put me in jail to begin with. 7 a.m. • The Pirates got Adam LaRoche? Since when did this happen? Man, Adam must have pissed off somebody big in Atlanta.

Having owned a SMS, I was more than happy with it. I had Shinobi. I had Double Dragon. I had Space Harrier. I was happy. I also liked the controller -- the D-button made moving easier for me, especially in games like Hang-on and Space Harrier. The zapper and 3-D glasses? Barely used them. The only 3-D games I had were Zaxxon and Maze Hunter. You're right about the game art leaving something to be desired.

I don't remember these lines being in any of the 10,000 ads I've seen over the past few months -- they must be featured in television markets outside my viewing area.

Swift Terror who used to post here had a trio play at his wedding (I can't remember if a harpist was one of the three). I had a DJ who I used as an excuse when people asked me why only the better half was doing the money dance (I said the DJ told me that only the bride does this stupid activity), which made him worth the money I paid for him right there.

$10k? Lucky bastard.

2 p.m. • So Fast Eddie is now saying that the new arena deal in store for the Penguins is the BEST DEAL EVER IN THE STATE, or some shit like that. Ha. It may be the BEST DEAL EVER IN THE STATE, but is it better than the deals in Houston or Kansas City? You bitches strung out Mario Lemieux way too damn long, and now it’s time to pay the piper. I wonder if you people would have treated the Rooney family the same way? Doubtful. • W. made his State of the Union speech last night. Didn’t listen. Don’t care. I’ve always avoided this annual speech. I don’t want to know how government plans to fuck me over in the upcoming year. I prefer to have my head in the sand and have it come as a surprise during the course of that year. That way you can act as if it a big game or something. • I never had any problems with Brandy; she seemed harmless enough. She’s not too harmless behind the wheel of a Land Rover, though. For her sake I hope she wasn’t under the influence of anything (it appears that way so far) and this fatal accident can be chalked up as just that – an accident. • There’s been some uproar over these proposed public transportation cuts that are going on in my region. Of course the weenies sporting the “Save Our Mass Transit,” signs have come out to public meetings pissing and moaning about the whole thing, much to EricMM’s delight I’m sure. Could it be entirely possible that some bus routes should be eliminated due to a lack of ridership? Nah. More union contracts for all. Efficiency be damned. I can’t wait to see the bitching that will take place if the local Public Authority Transit Board actually tries to go through with this idea.

8:30 p.m. • This is why government is a joke. Illegal aliens crossing our borders. We do nothing. Illegal aliens flying planes into our buildings. We renew their visas after they do the deed. But should you decide to take a vacation to the Caribbean? OMG WE NEED TO SEE YOUR PASSPORT OR YOU AIN'T GETTIN' BACK IN!!!!!! Why are we doing this? Too bad the first time a Muslim or Mexican bitches about this "discrimination," Uncle Sam will fold like a house of cards and made the "Abdul Exemption," or some shit. 2:15 p.m. • Hooray for Big Airline on this one. I wish kicking families out of planes/buses/restaurants/etc. for their screaming brats was practiced more often. I love that last line: "We're never flying AirTran again!" Good. It's not the airline's job to control your kid. It's your job. You can't do it -- get the hell out. The only thing I don't approve of is AirTran offering them free tickets. 1 p.m. • Well yesterday I had to take Max to the vet for his annual shots and for the vet to tell us he’s too fat. It’s amazing how our three kids seem to magically know when either me or the better half pick up their carrier. It must be some sort of sixth sense or something.

8 p.m. • As if Pfizer isn't having enough troubles right now, some AIDS group is mad that people are actually having sex after taking Viagra. What next -- suing gun makers because people commit crimes with firearms? Wait a second... • Woah, there was a dinosaur that had wings like a biplane? Cool. Pooh on the haters, I've been into dinosaurs since I was a kid. Ceratopsian represent. 7 a.m. • Oh Jesus it's already started. Once the Bears punched their ticket to the Super Bowl, the "OMG FIRST BLACK HEAD COACH IN SUPER BOWL HISTORY~!!!!" talk began. Now with the Colts in as well, I don't think I can handle TWO WEEKS of this. • And speaking of black coaches, I'm hearing that the Steelers hired a black guy. Oh this should be fun. I hope the guy does well, but if he struggles in his first few season, the fan reaction should be ... interesting. Personally, I don't care what color a head coach is; give me people who are new to the head coaching world and let them inject new ideas into the NFL. I'm also curious to see what happens to Russ Grimm, a Steelers assistant who was reported by the Shittsburgh Tribune-Review to have gotten the job in Sunday's edition. • I love this quote from a Patriots player after yesterday's game:

kkk Bowl IV: Cuban Linx (Tennessee Titans 11-7) vs. Danville Wrestling (Minnesota Vikings 11-7)

8 p.m. • I just watched my first "To Catch A Predator" NBC special. Oh my God. Don't these people realize that if they went after 18-year-old chicks they wouldn't be in this kind of trouble? 15-year-old, 18-year-old. Is there really that much of a better time? And of course half of these are church volunteers or something like that. 6 p.m. • I said the same thing at the other place, but it bears repeating. The Beast is running for president. Time to get that sniper's rifle. Yeah I know. Brrrr, it's cold and all that other shit. Can't wait until I hear that bolded line for the 1,000,000,000th fucking time by Medium-Large Media until the Anti-Christ gets elected. Maybe she'll have Bill Lester drive her to the swearing-in ceremoney. You all know Lester, THE FIRST BLACK MAN TO RACE IN THE CUP SERIES SINCE WILLY T. RIBBS DROVE AT MICHIGAN IN 1986!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Maybe if Lovie Smith and Tony Dungy's teams meet in the Super Bowl, they'll be invited, too. 5 p.m. • Got the Westside Connection's "Bow Down" bumping in my trunk, err, computer room stereo. This is one of those albums that I listen to from time-to-time as a guilty pleasure ever since I bought it 11 years ago, and it still manages to crack me up. My three favorite tracks at the moment with favorite lines in italics: 3) All The Critics In New York Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Yoooooooooooo! N*gga fuck that shit... 2) The Gangsta, The Killa And The Dope Dealer Gangsta don't dance we boogie/n*ggas run out and get yo' cookies. 1) King Of The Hill Now what you hip-hop hippies? 12:30 p.m. • So the better half thought she fooled me regarding this year’s anniversary present. Even though our blessed event isn’t until June, she said that I’ll be getting my gift next week. Uh, OK. She also said that couldn’t figure out what it would be; however, I think I already did. From the information she gave me, assuming it is all correct, it’s coming from a businesses that’s closing. Also, it will require movers. This thing cannot be kept at her mother’s basement because she wouldn’t want it to have that “basement” smell. After some careful reasoning, I concluded that this mystery gift was a couch or similar piece of furniture. The look she gave me when she said, “how did you come to that?” tells me that I’m probably right. I’m not one of these people that likes stupid, sentimental crap. Give me something practical, and a new couch would be just that. Currently we have two couches in our living room – one is of the three cushion variety and the other is only two. They are both seven years hold, have experienced two moves and a total of four cats (and sixteen sets of claws). These couches are tattered, but that’s to be expected when you own multiple cats. I’ve had people say, “Well get them declawed.” Fuck that. When you have kids and they wind up breaking something, are you going to chop of the tips of their fingers? I think not. It’s bad enough children aren’t transported in little carriers.

4 p.m. • Well, the Mexicans are taking over this country anyway, what's the big deal if one becomes president? My most fond memories of Richardson were back when he was Clinton's Energy Secretary and looked like a clueless fool during the Los Alamos scandal where nuclear secrets went missing. However, he seems to have been doing a good job as governor of New Mexico, or at least as good a job as one can do with a poor state. Oh, wait. He's a Democrat, so I can't say anything nice. That's right. Booooo. Hissssss. Bad Richardson. 9 a.m. • Shortly after seeing that "To Catch A Predator" show last night, I caught a bit of Spike's "Pros v. Joes" show. Neat idea. I haven't seen much of the program, but from what I have watched I was entertained. The one I saw last night was some "season finale" or something and featured one event where a person had to rush John Rocker on the mound and wrestle him off ASAP. Now it may have been just me, but Rocker seemed to be enjoying his bout with the black contestant, especially during the times where he was getting the upper hand.

8:45 p.m. • I just heard from the better half that the mother-in-law found a preggers test wrapper in her one trash can. The out-of-control niece-in-law is the only other female that live at that residence. Hmmm. 7:15 p.m. • So Vern Gagne, when submitting his kkk Bowl IV picks to me this week, asked the following. Ooooooh, fuck. I didn't notice this. If those two do take their teams to the Super Bowl, I think the media circle-jerk would make Manning Bowl I look like the beltway press coverage that a Republican President gets for a good economy. (Smitty, I can hear you typing your rebuttal right now. Stop it now. It’s too easy a target for you. I expect more from you.) The sad thing is I like both Tony Dungy and Lovie Smith. I have been a Dungy fan ever since he was coaching Tampa Bay, although I did agree with the Bucs bringing in Gruden. Long story short: Dungy took the Bucs from the shit pile of NFL teams and made them contenders. However, Tampa’s ownership wanted to win it all, so they brought in an asshole who wasn’t as soft-spoken. It worked. So fuck all the people who shouted RACISM when this coaching change was made. Regarding Smith, I liked him when he was defensive coordinator at St. Louis, and I remember when Marvin Lewis got the head coaching gig in Cincinnati, I had said at the time that I thought Smith should have been hired instead. Well, it all seemed to work out for Lovie in the end. Good for each of them. However, I’m not ready to deal with all the media crap with either one of them making it to the Super Bowl. (Has there ever been a black head coach in the Super Bowl? I don't think so.) Go whitey. 5:05 p.m. • So I started playing NCAA Football '05. I figured that if I do that export class thingy I might get back into playing Madden as well. So far my Shittsburgh Panthers kicked the shit out of two nobody teams. Then I lost 15-9 to Nebraska. Fuck. So my season is over. Damn you no-playoff system. I'm going to take my anger out on some team next up who I have never heard of before. Wow, beating crap teams and losing to the schools that are actually good. That's the Panthers for you -- wow, this game is realistic. 5 p.m. • Time to see how I did last week with those playoff games. Indianapolis at Baltimore (4.5): Wrong. I should have stuck with the fact the Colts had beaten the Ravens over the last few years. Philadelphia at New Orleans (5.5): Wrong. Saints won, but not by enough. Oh, and what's up with that chick who wore that "Fuck da Eagles" shirt? Just how long was that shown on TV, and would that have been better for OUR CHILDREN to see than a half-second of Janet Jackson's tit? Seattle at Chicago (8.5): Wrong. Boy, I'm batting 1.000 here. New England at San Diego (4.5): Right. Thanks Marty for helping me out. I knew you would come through. This week's Pickkks. New Orleans @ Chicago (2.5) The Saints are a great story and all that shit, but can they beat the Bears? Who's to say they can't? However, I'm playing this one safe. Chicago 17, New Orleans 10. New England @ Indy (2.5) I had thought for much of this year that this could be the Colts year to make the Super Bowl. However, with their late-season play I ruled them out. Could I have been wrong? Gee, that's never happened before. Sure the Colts are the Pats' bitch in the playoffs, but this time the game is in a dome. Oh what the hell, I'll go for it. Colts 31, Patriots 27.

It's a significant achievement for that franchise to get to the Super Bowl, not because the team was being coached by a black guy. I can't stand this mindset: OMG a BLACK quarterback won a Super Bowl! What a proud day for all African-Americans. Ugh. Now when Jackie Robinson broke into the league (and broke into his teammates' lockers), that was a big deal. I don't agree with every team retiring his jersey number, but whatever. But Christ, every goddamn time a certain race/gender does something for the first time in an industry, I don't want to hear about how this is a proud day for the oppressed.

Thunderblade for the Genesis. Ninja Gaidan for the NES. Ghouls 'n Ghosts for the Genesis. All-Madden level in its PS2 2002 (or was it '03?) edition. Those were the first four to pop into my head. I broke a controller over Madden. That's when I realized it was time to evaluate my life's priorities (still haven't done it though). And I remember as a kid gnawing my Atari joystick to the point where I tore it apart. Can't remember what games caused this, but at this point would it really matter? Oh, and I still like playing the first BF game much more than its sequel.

You've told me some of your bets in the past. I'm sure you would. Well, maybe not with a quarterback with that kind of last name. Or was that you wouldn't put any amount of money on a team that is coached by a Jew?

7:30 p.m. • Some hippie writer died. I'm sure I never read any of his stuff, but what I took note of was that he wrote something to be released after he went up to that big newsroom in the sky. Here's the column, for those that care. After reading this I got the thinking: should I did from a road-rage incident (I had another one of these this morning) or a brawl at the grocery store (haven't had one of these for a while), what would my final words be? God forbid it be something on this blog. Actually, my 5:15 p.m. entry would sum things up just fine. The only thing I would add to it, however, is, "Damn, it's hotter than I expected down here." 5:15 p.m. • This is why I love Jews. Seinfeld has how much money and he is still too cheap to pay some pesky commission? And the best part is that the plantiff is a Jew, too, and she wanted to get paid on a day where she didn't do any work.

Nothing really worth mentioning. I was headed into the outbound Fort Shitt tunnels and this guy was trying to merge into my lane. Problem was dickhead didn't bother to look to see if anyone was in the lane he was going into. I try to be a nice motorist. If I can, I'll move into another lane to let people in if possible, but when I'm going 55-65 mph and just see your turn signal come on, I'm not going to suddenly brake or move to another lane just to let you in. You have to wait. Well, he came within a few inches of hitting me from the passenger's side and I laid on the horn. I saw his arms go up in a fit of rage and he appeared to be yelling at me (yeah, it was my fault, asshole) to which I kept my horn on for about 10 more seconds as I entered the tunnel. He stayed at least a good 10 car lengths from me after that. What pisses me off more than almost getting his is when the person in the wrong is blaming you for the incident. We all fuck up on the road. That’s expectable, but for Christ’s sake take some responsibility in your goddamn life. I’ve been the cause of a few near-misses in my time, and I try to admit fault when I can. One time I was trying to switch lanes, and I missed this car in my blind spot (there was this part of my car in between my rear window and the back window that was blocking the other motorist out of my view. I tried to merge, I heard the horn go off. I went back into my lane. At the next stoplight I was next to this lady and I could tell she was still pissed (and I don’t blame her). I wound down the window, said to her she was covered when I was checking my blind spot and that it was my fault. I also added that if she wanted to keep yelling at me to do so, that I wouldn’t respond because it was warranted. She laughed and we drove off. Now is that so fucking hard to do?

8:30 p.m. • I forgot about this. On the drive to work this morning I noticed a truck with a Bush/Cheney bumper sticker stuck on its rear bumper and a Bush/Cheney decal on its back window. Cool, I guess. I see so many damn Kerry/Union bumper stickers around Shittsburgh it's not even funny. Well, it is but I digress. Anyway, this guy also had some label hung up on his truck. I don't think it was a sticker, but who knows -- it was 6:15 a.m. What did this sticker-thingy say? Tool. I'm pretty sure it was unintentional, but it still got a laugh out of me. • So Mrs. kkk's boss at the pizza shop gave her a b-day card. It was a picture of a gorilla and on the inside he wrote "Happy MLK Day." This also got a laugh out of me. • And I thought the Canadian health care system was supposed to be ideal. That's what the commies in my country always tell me. 1:45 p.m. • And now it's time for the Dr. Laura call of the day (or whenever I feel like doing this). This mom was pissed off because her adult son always talks about himself when they chat on the phone. The mom said that she's sick of hearing him talk about his truck, so if he can't converse (or something) then she should just say "bye." He took the latter and now she's upset. Speaking from personal experience, guys, the best way to piss a woman off isn't to disagree with them during a fight but rather agree with them. Her: "THAT'S IT! I'M SLEEPING ON THE COUCH!" You: "OK." Her: "THESE PLATES ARE STILL DIRTY!! YOU ARE NEVER WASHING DISHES AGAIN!!" You: "OK." Her: "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD FUCK MY BEST FRIEND!!! I'M NEVER SPEAKING TO YOU AGAIN!!!" You: "OK." Detect a pattern here? And no, the pattern isn't that I'm a shitty husband. I know that already. 12:15 p.m. • Barak Osama just took the first step to announce his presidential bid. HE SPEAKS SO WELL!!!! Whatever. I know next-to-nothing about him, but it's obvious he's a pile of liberal dogshit wrapped up in a pretty bow. I just hope for his sake he doesn't make a campaign stop at Fort Marcy Park. Well, Hitlery probably won't off him just yet. He's so going to be her running mate. Man if that ticket wins, '08 is going to suck.

I could make a Barak Osama joke right about now, but that would be wrong.

Don't worry. Just two more years and we can switch places where I'll bitch about how things have never been worse and you can say how things have never been better. Also, what makes you think you have what it takes to get bestowed with such an honor? And you still didn't answer my PM about Rupp. EDIT: About goddamn time.

I thought we already were under a dictatorship.

8 p.m. KKK's Top 103 Posters Number 42: Rob E. Dangerously I lik Rob, even though he threatened to extort me once because I posted something good about John Kerry a long time ago that said I might consider voting for him. Yes, I did say that once upon a time. Believe it or not, years ago I didn’t mind Kerry. I watched him on a number of talk shows and there were a few instances when he actually made sense. I remember one time back in 1999-2000 when Bill Clinton was talking about releasing oil from that so-called strategic reserve to try and lower gas prices. You know, that “reserve” we keep on hand so we’ll have enough gas for a week or two just in case terrorists blow up our energy infrastructure. Well Kerry said at the time Clinton’s idea was dumb and wouldn’t work. The problem, Kerry said, wasn’t that we were running low on oil but rather we didn’t have enough refineries to keep up with demand. Even if Clinton released this extra oil, there would be no place to refine it. Wow. A Democrat who actually made sense. Maybe this Kerry isn’t such a bad guy after all. Of course, during the ’04 election Kerry was saying that Bush should be doing the SAME THING CLINTON WAS ADVOCATING all those years ago in an attempt to lower gas prices. Et tu, Kerry? Where was I? Oh, Rob. Well, he also had a sense of humor about being a God-hating commie fag, and that’s always good, too. And now a word or two from the expert panel I have put together to comment on the people I’ve listed. From EricMM: From Cancer Marney: 7:30 p.m. • These bears got married -- is it any surprise to these zoo people why they don't want to have sex? And "Panda porn." Awesome. You go, playa. 7:15 p.m. • Oh, NBA. What am I going to do with you? From the headline of an article titled: "Pacers, Warriors Make Blockbuster Trade." Who? What? This is blockbuster? Actually, it might be. I don't follow the NBA much these days during the regular season. I remember back in the early 1990s I used to follow this kind of thing day in and day out. Oh well. Now the younger generation can keep up with PPG stats and other meaningless crap while I do more important grown-up things like ... post here. FUCK. Well, I might as well peep the NBA standings now and see what's going on. I see Toronto is in first place in the Atlantic Division -- with a record of 18-21. And New York isn't in last place? Wow. Cleveland is in first in the Central. Yay. Actually, good for the Cavs -- I'm a LeBron fan although those ads with him as 20 different people are retarded. But if he likes doing them then more power to him. Orlando dropped from first and Washington is taking the top spot in the Southeast. Mimai is only three games under .500 -- they'll be fine come playoff time. Over in the Northwest Division Utah is in first with the A.I. Nuggets in third place. Phoenix is kicking ass in the Pacific, followed by the Lakers. Clippers don't seem to be doing as well as they did last year. Damn, Dallas, San Antonio and Houston are above .600 -- I almost feel bad for New Orleans and Memphis. That's it until the next time I feel motivated to see what the heck is going on in the NBA. 7:45 a.m. • Well I had one of those weird moments on the way to work. As I was driving along Rt. 30, I noticed an accident in the lane next to me. Now I try not to gawk at accident scenes while driving. The only times I do are if I’m a passenger in a vehicle or if I was stuck in traffic for a long time because of some motorist’s negligence. I figure if they are making me burn unnecessary fuel, add more wear-and-tear to my car and delaying my trip from Point A to Point B, the least I should be allowed to do is look at what caused my delay. Anyway, from my split-second glimpse of the scene, and the deer laying at the side of the road, I’m guessing a car tried to avoid hitting a deer, failed and the car behind the first motorist rear-ended him. This got me the thinking how someone’s life can change in just a few seconds. What if I had gotten up after the third time my snooze alarm went off instead of the fourth? What if I had sped through a yellow light a few miles prior to this accident scene rather than stopping at it? What if I had packed my lunch for work the night before instead of taking a few minutes this morning to put soup, some yogurt and granola/cereal bars in my lunch cooler? Could I have been the person trying to avoid the deer? Could I have been the one to get struck by another motorist? Thankfully, I'll never know. Then again, I'm sure something sucky will happen to me in the next week or so to have me questioning why didn't I leave several minutes before/after I actually did.

I'd vote for a black or woman president. Just not a socialist one.

I always grouped Tim Raines with Howard Baines. I don't pay attention to stuff like stats, though, so I know this is probably a bad comparison.