kkktookmybabyaway

Well there's taxes, franchise fees, etc, that jack the $99 bill up a bit, but I'm still saving money and I get all three services on one bill, which is nice.

Of course not. I must admit, however, to rather enjoying enforcing those "unbreakable" rules. One example of a "bendable" rule was the one not allowing us to accept $50 or $100 bills. We weren't supposed to, but whenever our managers received these bills they accepted them. I, on the other hand, didn't.

Maybe the bitch was asking for it.

Yep. That's the one. I think Scott was drunk, too. I also think he was wearing an old Bret Hart shirt. Why I remember stupid shit like this is beyond me. And Cheesala, you don't know what you're missing. Good thing you have me to give you the hook-up.

Yeah, I know ... Every month when my household bills have to get paid. Actually, I'm digging the Phone/Internet/Cable deal you guys are doing.

Still haven't seen this film yet.

AIM.

Great job. Now lets see them do Sonic.

Type larger. I can't read you.

• There are plenty of red-diaper doper babies in the Big Apple, but thankfully there are one or two of them with a smitten of common sense. Instead of whining about a rouge government, the New York Civil Liberties Union ought to be pissed off at terrorists that make bag searches a good idea to most Americans. • While I’m on the subject of terrorists, what’s the big deal here? Maybe these fine Middle Eastern men have big families, thus needing 1,000 cell phones. After all, what is little Abdul to do when Jihad Camp lets out early? You actually expect him to wait out by the street with all the unholy swine? Why, that’s one of the worst things you can do to… come on, you know the rest. • It’s bad enough NFL players have to worry about on-the-field injuries during training camp, practices and preseason games. Now they have to fret about renegade mascots driving golf carts? • Woah. Heath Shuler is running for office. Too bad he’s a Democrat. Oh, and those six words “Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi” do strike enough fear into me that I would probably vote for a Republican I don’t care for over a conservative Democrat in a Congressional race. Good thing I’m satisfied with my GOP Rep. Tim Murphy. • Last night I got a recorded phone call from Samuel L. Jackson telling me to go see “Snakes on a Plane.” Alrighty then. • Is there nobody out there that the Bush Administration doesn’t disenfranchise? I’d be curious to know how much of a percentage of votes Nevada gets with its “none of the above” option.

Yeah, but where's the part about him wanting to do his mom? Sigmund Freud? More like Sigmund Fraud.

I saw an ad today for "Rain." What exactly is this shit?

In previous entries I’ve mentioned my opinion of state-run lotteries. I consider playing Powerball equivalent to flushing your money down the toilet, but if you have an office pool going when a jackpot reaches $100+ million, then chip in your $5 because if you don’t you know your co-workers will have a winning ticket, thus making you the only person in the office for the next workday. Back when I used to work at the Quickie-Mart during my college days, I got to interact with these gambling junkies on a frequent basis, and let me just say that these are some of the scariest, not to mention most pathetic, mo-fo’s out there. They were so scary that I dubbed them “Lottery People.” There are two types of Lottery People. You have the ones who play Powerball, Daily Numbers, etc., and then you have those that indulge in those instant scratch-off games. Today’s entry will deal with the former; I’ll get to the latter another time. A considerable amount of Lottery People are these little old ladies who have been playing certain numbers for their entire lives, but there are also younger, equally dumb, contestants. However, the most aggravating are the blue-haired seniors. During my Quickie-Mart days we had two cashiers, and in-between our registers was the dreaded lottery machine. When a customer had numbers to play, the person whose register she approached had to go to the lottery machine and enter the numbers, all the while your customer line grew and grew. I think the biggest annoyance was that our regular customers who played the lottery always had with them a piece of paper which had their list of numbers written on it. Now of course instead of handing the sheet over to us so we could enter in the numbers, they would proceed to READ THEM OFF ONE AT A TIME. Even when we asked for their precious chicken-scratch many of them would refuse to do so. One time I had this regular customer who was an old hag that always refused to let me read off her list. A day or so later when she came back to play her numbers she claimed I previously messed up her numbers, and the number I erred on hit for the first time in her life. Did I screw up her numbers? I don’t know, but seeing as how Rule #2 of the Lottery People Handbook is to double-check your numbers after you received your tickets, I don't really care if I did or not. Then again, there are many rules in the Lottery People Handbook that aren’t followed, such as: #4: If you place a certain set of numbers, MARK THEM DOWN on one of those insta-sheets you can just give to a cashier so he or she can run them through the lottery machine error-free. #8: If you have more than several numbers and are in a hurry, don’t buy your tickets during the MORNING or AFTERNOON RUSH HOUR, when the Quickie-Mart is at its busiest. #15: When checking your numbers, don’t do it at the register, and don’t be surprised if customer who has been waiting behind you for 10 minutes pushes you out of the way so he can pay for his gas and pack of beef jerky. Go to a low-traffic area, double-check your numbers, and return back to the register if there’s a ticket that’s incorrect. #16: If the lottery machine ticket paper needs re-filled, getting pissy and impatient will not help matters, considering those machines are a bitch to re-fill. If you get pushy or annoying, the customer service representative may deliberately take his time re-filling the machine just to piss you off even more. #23: Should you enter a store and find a long-ass line at the lottery machine, don’t act all surprised. There are many idiots in this world, and sometimes you'll have to wait if you wish to part with your money in a senseless fashion. #42: In the rare case you actually get a winning ticket for a nominal amount of cash, please let the cashier know this and what the amount is before this customer service representative goes to pay you out. Believe it or not, a Quickie-Mart employee is not supposed to have $300 readily available in large denominations somewhere within his or her cash register. Back to that person earlier in this entry who claimed I screwed up her winning number. Being the remorseful soul that I am, I told her that from now on I would no longer enter her numbers for her and told her to have our other customer service representative perform this service. And just who was my other co-worker? This old broad who didn’t know, nor ever bother to learn, how to operate the lottery machine; when she had to get her picks entered (of course she played the lottery – she was old), another co-worker had to punch in the numbers for her. The look of terror my elderly customer had on her face told me that I knew she would never bitch about her incorrect lottery numbers ever again. Even though during my times as a cashier I experienced many infractions from the Lottery People Handbook, I have never witnessed anyone breaking the #1 rule of this guide: Never have someone old enough to receive senior discounts ring up your numbers. With all of these wacky incidents, one would think that the instant scratch-off breed of Lottery People would be better behaved. Hey, it’s not like you have to do any kind of data entry service for them. Well you would be wrong. In fact, some of my more egregious encounters with Lottery People were via the instant win method.

I've wanked to less.

KKK’s Top 103 Posters Number 63: Mr. S£im Citrus Not only has Mr. S£im served our country with honor (something 99 percent of us here can’t attest to), but many times he is a voice of reason in threads dealing with life, like when he was called a fuddy duddy for saying it’s wrong to bang a soldier’s wife. It seems Mr. S£im is into the threads which are at the bottom of this board – that SWF virtual wrestling stuff. I’ve only explored that area of TSM a few times, and I’ve always ended up running away scared. However, what would be worse – becoming SWF International Champion for 50 days, or ending up on this hippie list for all of eternity? No way I’m goofing on him regarding this, what with me having seen a picture of him and all (the pic may not be viewable now, but trust me, he's a big dude). I’m sure he could use his military connections to find out where I live, drive over there, and snap me like a twig. I’m also going to refrain from making any racist jokes in this entry until after the panel has spoken. I actually see a lot of myself in Mr. S£im. Well except for that whole "serving your country" thing. Plus I'm white. Oh, and there's that whole kid issue. But I have three cats, which has to count for something. And now a word or three from the expert panel I have put together to comment on the people I’ve listed. From EricMM: From Bob Barron: From Cancer Marney: • I heard on Around the Horn today that L.A. Clippers owner Donald Sterling is being sued for (allegedly) not wanting blacks or Hispanics into some housing complex that he owns. Instead, Sterling has been appealing to the Asian community to take up residence; he even changed the name of his one complex to make it sound more enticing to Koreans, according to ATH panelist JA Adande. All I have to say is can you blame this guy? Not only is his rent now getting turned in on time, but also I’m sure there is a sharp decline in the amount of stray animals roaming around his properties. • Damn you Salem Radio Network. Today is the last day that Dave Ramsey will be on 730-AM WPIT. Because Ramsey and Salem Radio couldn’t come to an agreement regarding contract issues, Dave’s show will be taken off this set of radio stations, of which WPIT is a member. I’ve been listening to Ramsey’s show for a few months, and I was really digging the program. Now this radio station is “Help-oriented” with a lot of Jesus talk in the morning hours (which I stay away from of course), so I doubt they will replace Ramsey with Neal Boortz’s show, so it looks like I’ll have to re-arrange my afternoon play list of RIGHT-WING RADIO. Then again, I can always download his show off his Web site, but that would take too much work. Actually I think I'll probably end up doing this considering the RIGHT-WING RADIO market is pretty bad for certain parts of the day, especially when it's vacation time for the regular hosts. • I heard on the radio today that the Shittsburgh International Airport has these stickers posted on nearby public pay phones that say all conversations on these devices are being monitored by U.S. Government courtesy of the Patriot Act. I seriously don’t know if this is a joke or not, but my local media is treating it as a legit news story. Oh, and while I’m on this subject, for those disgruntled terrorists upset about this recent unsuccessful attempt to blow up a bunch of airplanes, take heart; I’m sure the N.Y. Times will produce a cover story showing you how to avoid getting caught with liquid explosives for your next attempt to cause havoc with us infidels. • And now it’s time for the Dr. Laura Call of the Day (or whenever I feel like doing this). Some lady lived in sin with this guy for a few years and doesn’t get along with her step-daughter. Her husband is suffering from liver failure and doesn’t have much more time to live. This lady’s step-daughter is having her wedding in a week or so and didn’t invite the step-mom. Because of this the step-mom doesn’t want her husband to attend his daughter’s wedding. Today’s runner up call was from a 17-year old guy who was “dared” by a friend to check out an X-rated Web site. He did, is now “addicted” to viewing on-line porn and doesn’t know what to do.

Why would Dwight want to do that when he can trade in that MVP for a pack of Newports and half of a Tastycake?

I was going to post a *Forget looks, I just focus on their racks, or the spot where they will become developed in a few years.* response, but instead I'll just applaud spman and guerillagenius for their efforts. God job gentlemen.

• That Karl Rove is a genius. Let’s face it Republicans, according to the polls, we aren’t doing so well, and the mid-term elections are only a few months away. So what does our Lord and Savior Jesus Rove do? 1) He gets a “moderate” Democrat by the name of Joe Lieberman to lose in his primary to this liberal who had the founder of the Daily Kos blog in his political commercials. Then he gets Lieberman to run as an Independent, and it’s quite possible that Joe can win in his state's general election. 2) Rove then gets a bunch of would-be terrorists (allegedly, of course) busted who wanted to blow up several airplanes that would be going from Britain to America. I’m sure Rove knows every time a terrorist boards a plane and uses focus groups to determine if it’s more beneficial for his boss if the plane turns into fiery wreckage or if Mohammad and friends get caught beforehand. So not only does the Bush administration get to strike fear of an impending terrorist attack into the American public, but also Rove gets to expose the Democrat Party (even more than usual) as a bunch of pre-9/11 namby pambys with their heads buried in the sand regarding Muslims who want to chop our heads off. As an added bonus, if Lieberman wins as an Independent this means that the Democrats will have one less body in the Senate. In other words, if the GOP drops to 49 seats after this next election we will still retain a Senate majority. With “Independent” Jim Jeffords and Lieberman taking up two slots, the Democrats could also only get a maximum of 49 seats, which gives any tie-breaking votes to Dick Cheney. Every time I think the Republicans are in trouble, Karl Rove always comes through in the clutch. Did you ever know that you’re my hero? • Speaking of arrests, the other day Maurice Clarett got pulled over by the PO-lice, who found four loaded guns, a machete and a half empty bottle of vodka in his vehicle. When the cops tried to taser him for being unruly, they discovered that Clarett was also wearing a bullet-proof vest. Wow. I know it’s hard for a black man to drive in this RACIST society of ours, but it can’t be that dangerous as to equip yourself like you’re going to war, can it? I was watching Jim Rome’s ESPN show yesterday, and it was funny to see all the sub-hosts wondering who’s to blame for Clarett’s fall? Uh, did Ohio State put those guns in his vehicle? Did the NFL strap on that bullet-proof vest? Why I bet that Buckeye football coach drank half of that vodka. Oh and fuck all those people who say "this is a sad story." That piece of shit brought all of this upon himself; I find the whole thing funny as hell. • While I’m on the subject of running backs that may never carry another pigskin in the NFL, things don’t look good for Jets halfback Curtis Martin. If his knees are indeed shot to hell, I hope he’s saved his money over the years and can retire in peace. He wasn’t all that flashy, but he certainly got the job done. I always thought it was weird that Martin was able to play under the radar despite being in the media capital of the world for all those years. • Now it’s time for the Dr. Laura Call of the Day (or whenever I feel like doing this). This chick says that her and her boyfriend are trying to go about their relationship like any good Christian couple would. However, there is one problem. Before meeting “Mr. Right” this chick had another boyfriend, and one night they had sex. As a result, the guy gave her snatch herpes. She called because she didn't know if or when the right time would be to tell her current boyfriend of her medical condition.

You would assume that, but consider the commie state in question. I think a baseball/numbers junkie like yourself might appreciate this: Here's another source I found. Note that Lieberman lost 48 percent to 52 percent. Anything can happen from now until November, but Joe still has a chance to retain his seat, albeit under a different Party affiliation.

I can't remember the last time I had the stuff, but my favorite was always the old-school lemon-lime.

KKK’s Top 103 Posters Number 64: UseTheSledgehammerUh This guy gets a lot of criticism, and at one point he was even banned, but I’ve never had a problem with him. In fact, his user name is one of the better ones around here, imo, and he has shown us in the past how to party, mixer-style. Of course if you look back on those threads all you get are a bunch of "User Posted Images," but we'll always have our memories. And now a word or seven from the expert panel I have put together to comment on the people I’ve listed. From The Real World's Champion: From Black Lushus: From EricMM: From Bob Barron: From Carnival: From Cancer Marney: From SFA Jack: • I am in sheer awe of this old guy who lives across the street from me. Despite living with what I am assuming are his children and grandchildren – the youngest of which is in his teens – this poor guy still does all of the property's yard work. Yesterday I noticed a ladder in the front of this house, and when I looked more closely I noticed that this guy, who can barely walk on level ground, was on the ladder and doing something to a window that involved a power tool. He spent at least two-and-a-half hours out there doing God-knows-what, but bless him for his efforts. I know I would probably kill myself if I had to do any home improvements that took me off the ground. • While I’m talking about neighbors, the people which live to the one side of me (not the old guy who kills groundhogs, but the other people with the barking dog), have set up all this playground equipment, including a big-ass trampoline. Now if they would only get around to mowing their lawn. The better half thinks they’re drug dealers, but I’m leaning more toward them setting up some unregulated daycare business. • I heard this on Rush’s show today. And they say people in the Northwest aren’t passionate about their teams. But before I go thinking that people along the Left Coast are normal, I have to add that this judge filed a complaint against HERSELF. • And now for the Dr. Laura Call of the Day (or whenever I feel like doing this). Some woman phones in and wants to know how she can properly love her husband. When asked why she needs help in “loving her husband” this woman replied, “Because he scares me.”

KKK’s Top 103 Posters Number 65: Starvenger Uh. Hmm. Well, he’s part of my football contest and had a tough year with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers last season thanks to a few close losses. Other than that I don’t know much about him. Why in the hell did I put him on this list? Well, I’m sure there’s a good reason; I just don’t know it. I certainly hope my expert panel can come through for me on this one. (Just one comment? Y2Jerk had seven of them!) And now a word from the expert panel I have put together to comment on the people I’ve listed. From Black Lushus: • Well today Connecticut U.S. Senator Joe Lieberman is in the fight for his political life against some schmoe who is more left-wing than the incumbent who sides with his Party 90-some percent of the time. Poor Joe. A career of supporting liberal causes and he’s coming under fire because he doesn’t want Abdul to set off a nuke in New Haven or Bridgeport. I’ve liked Joe for years. Yeah, I know he’s not one of the more popular public officials in these here parts, what with him being one of those moral types that doesn’t like pro wrestling and naughty song lyrics, but I don’t care. He’s always been one of those Democrats I’ve liked, even when I didn’t agree with him, which was most, if not all, of the time. Besides, he’s representing the state of Connecticut; it’s not like the Republicans will be electing their next Speaker of the House from that state. Shit, the biggest Republican from that place is Christopher Shays, and he’s a douche. I’m not sure if Lieberman is going to pull this one out – polls say he’s not going to win, but I’ve been a bit suspicious of the surveys regarding this race for a while now. It’ll actually be funny if he loses because I wonder if Medium-Large Media will circle-jerk Lieberman should he decide to run as an Independent in the November general election, which he would have a good chance of winning. After all, I thought Medium-Large Media liked candidates that bucked the system and declared their independence. That’s how they acted when Jim Jeffords, that little bitch boy from Vermont, jumped ship in ’01 from the Republican Party to that hippie “Independent” label, giving Democrats a Senate majority that has since been erased. • Recently I’ve been reading threads about this hippie storyline Marvel Comics has been engaged in regarding a divide between its superhero universe. (In case you have been wondering about those “Civil War” banners in some posters’ sigs, this is what they’re talking about.) However, if this fag-crew from across the Pond ever decides to come on over to America, I think even Captain America and Iron Man will put aside their differences to engage in a royal beat down of these Euro-Weenies. • Introducing the newest KK Korner feature: The Dr. Laura caller of the day (or whenever I feel like doing this). God these people are fucked up. Today’s winner is some woman whose husband used to be a Jehovah’s Witness but gave up the "faith" when he got married to the caller. This caused the guy's parents to disown him and his family. Well, this woman (the caller) still brings her 10-month old and three-year old kids to these people every weekend for unsupervised visitations. The caller wanted to know if she should be doing this, considering the grandparents said they have disowned the caller and her family.

SPOILERZ Two planes fly into the World Trade Center and it goes boom. ENDSPOILERZ I P-Diddy'd Paragon's post. And by "P-Diddy'd" I mean "queered up."

I either hate or never heard of 99.9 percent of the shit on that list. Won't hate on Afrika Bambaataa though.

Hell no. That would mean kkk Jr. popped out of the womb.