Secret Agent

What the heck is that supposed to mean? Anyway, Akira, are you going to help me with this one?

THURSDAY Clemson at Virginia Tech SATURDAY Oklahoma at Missouri Michigan State at Indiana Florida State at Maryland Syracuse at Cincinnati Penn State at Purdue Ohio at Kent State Miami at Georgia Tech Georgia vs. Florida Iowa State at Kansas State Washington State at UCLA Arizona State at Washington Texas A&M at Baylor Tennessee at South Carolina Tiebreak #1: How many total points will be scored in the Oklahoma/Missouri game? 28 Tiebreak #2: How many passing yards will Tennessee's Erik Ainge have against South Carolina? 239

Oh, can I just have Michigan and let Texas A&M swap into the team on probation?

I can't believe you didn't book Johnny on a Las Vegas show. I guess I should have reminded you about the 'Johnny is supposed to compete in a tag on lockdown after forced to find a new tag partner."

Arena Auditorium, Laramie, Wyoming… Two hours before Smarkdown… *Knock Knock!!* Joseph Peters looks up from his desk. He’s been expecting a visitor for a little while now, but with the waiting time he’d nearly forgotten about it. He quickly shuffles through the stack of papers on his desk until he finds one that has a particular interest to him right now. “Bingo!” he says, before looking up and shouting, “come in!” The door swings open and Johnny Dangerous; the new International Champion walks in. “You wanted to see me?” he says, stopping at the door. “Yes! Come on in, Mister Dangerous,” Peters says, waving the Barracuda in with his hand and directing him to a seat in front of his desk. He waits, smiling with one hand over the other as Johnny finds his way to the chair. “I just wanted to tell you how excited I am to see that you’re already making headway on your return to the SWF with a win against Bruce Blank,” Peters says. “But there are a few issues I wanted to clear up with you…namely on your contract.” “I’ve already turned the new contract in to your secretary,” the Barracuda speaks up, trying to usher this meeting along as quick as possible. “And I have it right here,” Peters replies. “Like I was saying, it’s good to see you competing in singles matches but I haven’t seen you involved with any tag team matches since your return.” “That’s probably because I don’t really wish to tag.” “Well, you see…that’s where the problem comes in,” Peters says with a wide-toothed grin. “Firstly, in this business you have to stick people where they’re good at. You, Johnny, happen to be an excellent tag team wrestler – it’s what made you famous. When you were involved with a tag match the ratings went up and that’s something I like to latch onto. And lets be honest, you didn’t exactly make headlines with your World Title runs.” Johnny furrows his brow and shifts in his seat. The uneasiness is easily felt by both Peters and himself. “Secondly,” Peters continues, “in this day in age everyone has to do a little bit more. Heck, look at Michael Stephens – he’s holding three belts at once!” “Look, Joseph,” says Johnny. “I’ve been there before and honestly, Wild and Dangerous is the only team I ever want to have been in. I don’t want to tag with someone else…I just don’t think It would have the same magic.” “Alright, it’s obvious you aren’t going to see eye-to-eye with me on this issue,” says Joseph. Johnny nods his head accordingly. “So I’m just going to have to point out that your contract states that you must compete in a certain amount of tag matches. I didn’t sign you up for any other reason than to compete as a tag team wrestler, and I was generous not to hold you exclusively to the tag team ranks.” “You son of a--” “Now wait a second!” snaps Peters. “I want you to know that you can still compete in singles and defend the International Championship, but you must compete against tag teams as well.” “But I haven’t seen Wildchild,” adds Johnny, nearly pleading with Peters, but the commissioner just shrugs. “Well, Wildchild isn’t around so you’ll just have to find something else. You have until Lockdown to get yourself organized cause you’ll be in a tag team match then,” Peters says as he stands up to call an end to this meeting. “Oh, and one last thing; I’ve cancelled the segment you had to start the show and replaced it with the House of Marvelous.” Johnny doesn’t utter a word. He simply glares at Peters. “Oh, and you’re the guest for the House of Marvelous so you’d better prepare yourself cause Mr. Marvelous has been dying to get you on since I told him about your contract.” With that Peters ushers the Barracuda to the door. Johnny doesn’t resist, but in his mind he’s starting to wonder if coming back was truly the best thing for him. Never before had he been forced to deal with such conditions in order to be with his fans. Maybe it would have been best to stay away.

Why not just make the shows every 5 days, or would that throw off the schedules to much? I know I'm one of those that didn't get shit in for Storm but I've just been sick on top of working a long week.

How about Pyongyang, North Korea?

Hey now, it was my first full-match in a long while. I'll get back into the swing of it and drop the cheese in no time. Also, the belt shot I did was supposed to be Bruce getting what he deserved for trying to cheat. We can have a rematch of it soon.

Man, what the fuck has happened to VT!?

That'd be fun. Let's do that for Holloween! If not I'll have Johnny dress up as Spiderman or some shit.

*Shamefully raises his hand*

I can remain impartial.

I'll mark the International title match if you need some help, Raynor.

Thats what I was trying to tell you two years ago!

Makes sense to me then. I forgot about the schedule being in here. Thanks, Leena!

For what reason?

I'd think the Big 10 is probably #1 right now with the SEC at 2 and then the ACC might be tied with PAC-10 & Big 12 this year.

Well at least Texas and Oklahoma are both 4-1.

So is this show today or Monday?

Good God, I thought the basketball season just ended in June! Why can't football have this short of time between seasons?

I don't know what you're talking about, Bruce. My profile for Johnny has been up for at least 2 weeks.

Smarks Board Name: Secret Agent Wrestlers Name: Johnny Dangerous Real Name: Johnny Dangerous Nick Name(s): The Barracuda, the Secret Agent Height: 6’1 Weight: 225 Hometown: Las Vegas, Nevada Age: 29 Face/Heel: Flashy face Stable: None Ring Escort: None Weapon(s): Whatever’s handy. Though he might McGuvyer some weapon if he has to. Looks: Johnny is a clean cut, medium build white male, with stylish jet black hair. His face is normally as smooth as a baby’s bottom, and his teeth as white as pearls. (He likes to smile a lot, especially at the ladies.) The Barracuda dresses in a high tech style. Black slacks, black short sleeved shirt (tight fitting to accent his muscular build - stylish while at the same time having a somewhat techno feel. He always comes out wearing a pair of high-tech shades and has even been wearing them during the course of his matches lately. For a bigger match he’d probably remove them by himself or have them slapped off his face by a heel. Also, he sometimes comes out in a all black trench coat, but only with this outfit, and even then it’s becoming less common. On occasions where Johnny needs to really bring it, big matches, etc, Johnny could wear knee-length black "Olympic-style" wrestling tights, with red, white and blue stripes within the "V" pattern on the back. He wears black knee pads and black wrestling boots, and keeps his hair slicked back. This is what he used to wear in Wild and Dangerous tag team matches and occasionally in a singles match. This is also proper wrestling gear and when Johnny knows the match is really big he will want to make sure his movements are free from restrictions. Out of the ring, Johnny will wear a slick, trendy black Armani suit. Ring Entrance: Johnny comes out to “Mission Impossible” as done by the James Taylor Quartet. The Smarktron will show the famous “fuse to a stick of dynamite” lighting scene as the music starts before breaking away to show clips of Johnny in action. Feel free to add things like Johnny giving crowd members high fives or Johnny kissing a female on the cheek. Johnny heads into the ring, mounts a turnbuckle and raises his arms out to the fans. Stats: Strength: 5 - Although he isn’t built like an ox, he has some hellacious strength for a man of his size. Can usually get anyone up 300 pounds or under. Over that it is possible, but some serious effort would be needed. Speed: 5 - Johnny has excellent speed, and is small enough to deliver plenty of luncha style moves, escape a tight situation, or get to someone in a hurry. Vitality: 4 - A secret Agent never surrenders, never gives up! That doesn’t mean he won’t tap or anything, he is just stubborn and sometimes doesn’t know when to quit so that he can live to fight another day. He has plenty of energy and stamina. Charisma: 6 - Can talk the talk, especially when swooning ladies. Johnny is well educated, and though he won’t be bringing home Oscars anytime soon can put on some serious acting for the ladies…or his enemies! He can also get a crowd to love him with his brilliant personality. Style: Johnny “The Barracuda” Dangerous is well trained in the finer martial arts and as such, speed is very much on his side. Being the Spy that he is; brawling, high-risk maneuvers, and aerial attacks are common ground for him. For the basics, Martial Art strikes to loosen them up, then wear downs or attacks with more “umph” to it as it goes on. Signature Moves: -Spinning Heel Kick -Scorpion Kick -Back-flip kick -Spinning Back Fist -Shotei Palmstrike -Guillotine Face Driver -Spinal Explosion (A Rolling Fireman’s Carry: Get someone into a fireman’s carry, then flip forward, impacting their back into the mat.) -Rolling Verticle Suplex (Three if he can get them off. This move WILL put someone down…. this isn’t an ego trip, but rather how it should be.) -Dangerous Driver (The attacker stands behind the victim. The attacker places both their arms under the victim's arms and locks them behind the victim's neck. The attacker lifts the victim in the air. Once they reach the apex, the attacker pushes down forward and drives the victim down face first into the mat. -Johnny Kick (Super Kick - It always precedes an Armed and Dangerous, though an Armed and Dangerous does not always follow it.) -Crucifix Armbar -The Interrogator (A Crossface hold. Used to wear down an opponent and for submissions as well. This can, and has been used as a finisher as built properly this move is deadly.) Common Moves: -All of your basic wrestling moves that anyone would HAVE to know. Hip-tosses, basic takedowns, all that good stuff. -Any Martial Art’s kick -Any Martial Art’s chop -Punches/Kicks/Elbows/Chops (Not very often for chops, mostly when chopped first.) -Enzuigiri (Back Brain Kick) -Uranage -Standing or running leg drops and elbow drops -Neck Breaker (Rear and swinging) -Dropkick/Missile Dropkick/Springboard Dropkick -DDT (Various kinds) -Double Axe Handle Smash -Bulldogs -Body Press/Body Scissor -Chinlocks -Facelocks -Leglocks -Armbars -Arm Wringer Irish Whips into: •Clothesline •Elbow Smashes •Drop Kicks •Body presses Suplex’s: •Belly-to-Belly •Back-to-belly •German – Can also end on a bridge, and on occasion, can be turned into rolling German’s •Verticle •Exploder From the turnbuckles: •Elbow drops •Leg drops •Fist drops •Stomps Rare Moves: -Wild Ride (A Vertebreaker – When a tremendous hit is needed to get a pin…BIG money matches/Feud Matches) - Death From Above (Moonsault double stomp.) Moonsault from the turnbuckle, only Johnny lands feet first into someone’s chest, and lands with finesse. Please, if you must kick out of a move, use a finisher that isn’t this deadly or use the SSP. Contact me before using so we can discuss, please. -Armed and Dangerous (Running Fist Drop. Johnny darts for the ropes while the opponent lies face up on the mat. He bounces back and flips in the air, coming down fist first on their chest or face. *NOTE* Johnny usualy sets up this move with a Johnny Kick A.K.A. - A Super Kick. This move is more of a crowd popper than anything. The Johnny Kick is what will do you in, this is just humiliation.) -The Cover Up (Diamond Dust. Johnny gets his opponent in a inverted DDT, sits on the top rope, somersaults over the opponent, and pulls them down with a Diamond Cutter. If you don’t know what a diamond cutter is, here you go. The attacker applies 3/4 face lock …basically, the victim's head on the attacker's shoulder with the attacker forming a headlock around the top of their head as the attacker has their back to the victim… and drops down to the mat, flat on your back, impacting the victim's chin into the attacker's shoulder.) Finishers: Primary: The MI SLAM (Same as an Angle/Olympic Slam/Fallaway Slam - Can be done to anyone of any size, due to it be more of a momentum move and not actually requiring lifting anyone for more than a second.) Secondary/Submission finisher: The Barracuda (Over the Shoulder Half Crab. Can be used as a finishing submission but mainly used to wear down an opponent. If the opponent is too resilient Johnny can turn this into an Over-the-shoulder full crab…Think a Boston Crab but you reverse the attacker’s position.) Aerial Finisher: Shooting Johnny Press (A regular Shooting Star Press/Mexican Pride Press.) Notes: coming soon. Bio: Johnny Dangerous is a former secret agent for the wonderful United States of America. He’s a lot like a James Bond, only American. If you want to know more then PM me as I don’t feel like typing all of this now.

And it would happen to be on my weekof making the absolute worst picks ever! Fuck all the Texas & Georgia Techs!

THURSDAY BYU at TCU FRIDAY Rutgers at South Florida SATURDAY Navy at Connecticut Akron at Kent State Boise State at Utah Oregon at Arizona State Georgia Tech at Virginia Tech Texas Tech at Texas A&M San Diego State at San Jose State Central Michigan at Kentucky Troy at UAB Kansas State at Baylor Ohio State at Iowa Washington at Arizona Tiebreak #1: How many total points will be scored in the Oregon/Arizona State game? 46 Tiebreak #2: How many passing yards will Iowa's Drew Tate have against Ohio State? 190