Patty O'Green

Now I’m that BITCH! Now I’m that BITCH! Now I’m that BITCH! Now I’m that BITCH! Livvi Franc’s “Now I’m that bitch” instantly switches to Another Body Murdered by Faith No More. Anger! Anger I tells ya! That’s the precise emotion that welcomes team captain Holly into the ring. Wearing a plaid mini skirt, and a cut-off to the chest black mesh top over a red bikini top, Holly cuts a pretty but fearsome image. She snarls at the camera, almost knocking the poor videographer over on her way to the ramp. BUFFER The following is a ten woman survivor series match! Now making her way to the ring, from Sin City, Nevada, she is THE ANGEL OF DEATH HOLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYY! “BOOOOOOOOOO!” Red spotlights flicker in the background, as Holly stomps down the ramp, cursing out everyone she lays eyes on. She slides into the ring, popping to her feet with a nasty glare at the referee. Holly then leans against the ring ropes, looking out at the masses and chiding every last one of them for booing her. COACH Josie’s put a lot of faith in Holly, and Holly’s gotta put a lot of faith in her team. I ain’t so sure Holly is that trusting, though. COLE They're going to have to come through as a group because Holly can't do this five on one. Cue: “Renegade” by Jay-Z and Eminem Melissa Nerdly struts on stage in an 80’s throwback exercise outfit, of purple tights, and red swimsuit style top. On the rear end of her tights Reject's Girl is scribbled in cursive lettering. She stretches out on the top of the ramp, hitting a few jumping jacks, before moseing down to ringside. BUFFER And her partner, from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, MELISSAAAAA NERDLYYYYYY! COLE The Nerdly family well represented here at November Reign in their home country of Canada. Melissa gently steps into the ring where she feels the need to pose to a less than receptive audience. Seeing Melissa’s annoyance, Holly brow beats the fans for their lack of respect. Things start to get a little wild thanks to Motley Crue’s “Wild Side”. The fans jeer and boo as the mighty Malaysia Nerdly makes her appearance on stage. She raises her arms into the air, while white lights swirl in a frantic pace all around her. The sadistic Nerdly comes bound in a leather corset and black denim pants. She laughs haughtily at the frightened crowd before making her to the ramp. BUFFER From Edmonton, Alberta Canada, she is the ultimate combination of Beauty and Beatdowns….SHE IS MALAYSIAAAAAA NERDDLLLLLLYYYYYY! COLE From one Deadly Alliance member to the next! Both looking to make their mark on the women’s dvision. The former champion stands on the outside, cracking her whip and delighting in scaring the fans with it. Holly and Melissa keep their distance, because frankly Malaysia is a little worrisome! Oasis’ Slide Away fires up bringing out the no nonsense Megan Skye. Less no non sense is her intricate tights. Black leather pants with the Cucaracha Internacional logo on the left thigh and a yellow line down the legs. Black leather top with a yellow one underneath, just visible around the arms and cleavage. Black elbowpads, black boots with yellow soles. She grumbles to herself about something no dobut relating to Landon, and heads to ringside. BUFFER And representing Cucaracha Internacional she is from Providence, Rhode Island, MEGAN SKYEEEEEEEE! BOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Megan doesn’t much care for the crowd’s reaction, and instead goes straight to Holly to discuss strategy. COACH There’s a woman with a lot of plans, and a lot of clothes, lose some of that shizzzzz girl, keep it lookin good and skimpy! M O N E Y So sexy Damn, I love the jam, the jet and the mansion. (Oh yeah) And I enjoy the gifts and the trips to the islands.(Oh yeah) Its good to live expensive You know it, but my knees get weak intensive When you give me k-kisses Thats money honey, Well I'm your lover and your mistress Thats money honey When you touch me, its so delicious Thats money honey Baby when you tell me the pieces Thats money honey COLE Lorelei’s earning the big bucks tonight, this is her 3rd appearance on the show! Lady Gaga's Money Honey rings out over the numerous boos from the arena crowd. Stepping onto the Angleslam set is Lorelei DeCenzo, wearing black booty shorts and a ruffled pink featherd top, twirls around to show off her impressive body before pointing to the ring. Nodding to herself she heads down the entrance ramp with nose firmly stuck in the air to avoid interaction with the audience. BUFFER She comes from Manhattan Beach, California, representing The Enterprise she is a former women's champion….THE MONEY HONEY LORELEI DECENZOOOOOO! "BOOOOOOOOO!" the fans spit venom at Lorelei, who wags her fingers at them. COLE And here’s someone that knows Morgan all to well, no doubt an asset when teaming against her. COACH Or a liability if Morgan snaps on her. Lorelei enters the ring, brushing aside her team in order to have the full ring to strike a beauteous pose in. Melissa scoffs at such actions, obviously considering herself to be the fairer of the two. BUFFER And the opponents….. “I MAKE THEM GOOD GIRLS GO BAD I MAKE THEM GOOD GIRLS GO GOOD GIRLS GO BAD!” YEAAAAAAAAAA! Bouncing out from backstage is film buff and NYU Art Student, Molly Nerdly. The self-proclaimed smartest of the bunch, wheels around through the entrance doors in a black leather jacket and a faux fur black micro skit. In a gesture similar to Halloween Spectacular, she smiles to the crowd as she rips away her jacket to reveal a triangle bikini top that shows plenty of skin! COACH Woah mama! What’s papa Nerdly got in them genes? COLE His penis. COACH His….wha….not those kind of jeans! BUFFER From Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, she is the 2009 manager of the year, MOLLYYYYYY NERDLLLLYYYYYYY! Molly frames up the gathered heels in the ring, and gives them a cold THUMBS DOWN! Needless to say this sets Holly off, and its only the oncoming entrance music that shields us from her profane tirade. "Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy) And you don’t care what they say See, every time you turn around They screamin' your name Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy) And you don’t care what they say See, every time you turn around They screamin' your name" The lights flash purple and white when "When I Grow Up" by The Pussycat Dolls hits. Seconds later the dynamic cheerleading duo of Jade Rodez-Duncan and little sister Maya Duncan-Blanchard run onto the stage to a HUGE ovation! No boobs so less than Molly. Either way the girls fire up the rabid audience, while Molly claps for their arrival. BUFFER Residing in Los Angeles, California... the second generation starlet with a heart of gold... ladies and gentlemen, she is accompanied by Maya Duncan-Blanchard... "LITTLE MISS CALIFORNIA"... JJJJAAAAAAADDEEEEEE... RRRRROOOOODDEEEEEEZZZZZZ - DDUUUUUUUUUNNCCAAAAAAAAAANN!!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Well, Morgan actually got Jade as a volunteer for this match up thanks to her sister Maya. It should be noted Maya got Alfdogg onto Team Alix as well. No extra credit for her social services classes at school, though. "When I grow up I wanna be famous I wanna be a star I wanna be in movies When I grow up I wanna see the world Drive nice cars I wanna have Groupies" Molly gets a big hug from Jade as she reaches the ring apron. Maya continues working up the now standing and roaring audience, while also soliciting them to buy girl scout cookies. Gotta move those Thin Mints. Fallout Boy's cover of "Beat It" powers through the arena and out comes the queen of Geekdom, Melody Nerdly! Multi-coloured strobe lights freak out around her as she strikes a Matrix style pose, befitting of her Matrix style all leather outfit. With seizures caused around the world by her far out light display, Melody makes her way to the ring with a skip in her step. BUFFER This contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the OAOAST WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP! Introducing first, the challenger. Eminating from the Fortress Of Nerdlytude... she is "PLAYER ONE"... MMMMEEEEELLLLLLLLLLOOOOODDYYYYYYY... NNEEEEEERRRRRRRDDLLLLLLYYYYYYYYY!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Melody catches up with her teammates and proceeds to offer them advice in the form of Yoda quotes. Oddly enough, Jade seems to seriously consider each piece of Star Wars knowledge. :CUE: Sophie comes onto the stage waving and greeting the cheering audience as red and blue lights flash behind her. She wears a white tank top with her name etched on the back, black workout pants, and white tennis shoes that carry her down the entrance ramp. The French girl is all smiles as she shakes hands, and high fives the front row OAOAST Marks. BUFFER She comes from Marseilles, France, she is SOPHIE GREEEEEYYYYYY! Sophie jogs to the rest of her team, and exchanges kisses on the cheeks. Because that’s what the French do, see? A male fan tries to get in the action but he’s warded off by Melody’s Hadoken. The dizzyingly frantic symbols and the ripping adrenaline of flow into the arena like a volcanic eruption. “OHHHHHHHHHH!” the fans murmur, knowing full well the danger that lies behind the entrance doors GO! To un-explain the unforgivable, Drain all the blood and give the kids a show. By streetlight this dark night, A séance down below. There are things that I have done, You never should ever know! And without you is how I disappear, And live my life alone forever now. And without you is how I disappear, And live my life alone forever now. Bolts of electricity crash down like bombs onto the stage, exploding into blinding sparks. All across the arena, video screens are filled with the image of flickering electricity. The stage lies carpeted by a serene yet evil blue light. The most powerful burst of electricity scorches through the air and touches down in the middle of the stage. That’s when the youthful challenger first appears on stage, earning an intimidated reaction from the frightened crowd. Morgan wears a pinstriped booty shorted romper over her tiny frame. She chews on her blond hair nervously, and watches the crowd with the same frightened look they give her. There is however a noticeable section of the teenage crowd greeting Morgan with cheers. Angsty teenagers>>>>* BUFFER From Edmonton, Alberta, Canada... she THE OAOAST WOMEN'S CHAMPION!! Prepare for SHOCK and awe from MMMOOOOOOORRRRRGGAAAAAAANN... NNEEEERRRRRDDLLLLLYYYYYYYY!!! Can you hear me cry out to you? Words I thought I'd choke on figure out. I'm really not so with you anymore. I'm just a ghost, So I can't hurt you anymore, So I can't hurt you anymore. And now, you wanna see how far down I can sink? Let me go, fuck! So, you can, well now so, you can I'm so far away from you. Well now so, you can. Morgan gets into the ring and stands on the first rope, while leaning over the third. She casts a quizzical glance at the audience, almost childlike in its odd innocence. COACH She didn’t even glance once at her team. Not once. Everyone is buddy and she totally ignores them. COLE Well, Morgan does have a hard time trusting people. She’s not going to suddenly change over night. COACH No its that these girls can’t be trusted, one’s French and a coward, another spends her days locked in a cavern playing dungeons and dragons with pokemon dolls, they’re all untrustworthy except for Molly because she’ll flash you and that’s hot!

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COLE And now, folks, we're gonna go on location to Toronto's uptown roll arena! It's time for the Skate or Die match for the OAOAST Heartland title! Cut to the rink, where a DJ is seen behind glass. NOTE: Visual aid for the match. DJ Yo yo yo, ladies and gentlemen, a little somethin' special for y'all tonight! The OAOAST is in the house! The Heartland title is on the line! This is DJ AX, and I'm gonna introduce the participants! The participants are shown surrounding the rink, which already has people skating on it. DJ AX Show some love for the BURROUGH BOYS! Mariano! Luther! Waldo! Quincy! COLE And there's paying customers on this rink, Coach! Let's hope no one gets hurt here. COACH Of course not, Cole, this is a Heartland title match! DJ AX The Superheroes of Dance! Vinny Valentine! Biff Atlas! PANIC AT THE DISCO! Vinny does a little dance, as Tony Tourettes stands by, also wearing skates. DJ AX The man behind the mask! J-MAX! J-MAX raises his arms in the air. DJ AX Uno and Dos! The Voo Doo Daddies! LOS CONQUISTADORES! Uno and Dos are shown talking back and forth with Colombian Heat. DJ AX Yo, this girl's got a fever, and we got the cure! Anderson and Pigley, THE LOVE DOCTORS! The Docs do a dance as the ladies scream from the rink. DJ AX Someone be kind and donate a little change for DEADBEAT DAVE! Vinny and Biff clap as Dave holds his arms out. DJ AX The Bad Boy himself, COLOMBIAN HEAT! Heat throws up the "W". DJ AX No fightin' the law tonight, we got the V.I.C.E. squad in the house! CPA and Bosley, reppin' the Enterprise! Bosley talks smack to Todd Cortez. DJ AX "Urban Legend"...or just a Legend? TODD CORTEZ! Cortez pounds his chest and raises a fist in the air. DJ AX This is a Skate or Die match, but things are still getting deadly! From the Deadly Alliance, MR. DICK, and Mr. Heartland himself, SANDMAN9000! The DA members raise their arms. DJ AX And finally, our defending champion! He puts the "Heart" in Heartland, and the "Jam" in Jamaica! The OAOAST Heartland champion, DENZEL SPENCER! Denzel raises his arms, then DJ AX blows a horn and the combatants walk onto the rink, and begin to attempt to slug it out while on skates. Various songs play in the background, as some of the combatants start to gain speed around the rink. CPA and Bosley lift Heat onto their shoulders, with CPA holding him around the head and Bosley holding him around the waist. However, this leaves them open to a surging Denzel, who leaves his feet and flies into Heat, which causes CPA and Bosley to fall to the ground as well! COLE Nice move there by Denzel, as he's putting this environment to good use right away! Suddenly the track scratches, and Black Sweat by Prince hits. COLE Oh wait, this is a familiar song... COACH Oh fuck, is that what I think it is? The camera cuts to the front door, where MISTER Warrior bursts through and pounds his chest. COACH DAMN it. MISTER Warrior rolls over to the half wall, and hops over it onto the rink. He gains speed around the rink while pumping his arms in the air, then floors Quincy with a clothesline! He then hits Biff! Waldo! Luther! Mariano! Dave! Vinny! He pounds his chest, then crashes waist-first into the half wall and flips over it into the carpeted area. COLE Well, that was exciting! MISTER Warrior then skates around the carpeted area, into the arcade, where Tony Tourettes is playing Tekken. Tony looks up, and sees Warrior. The two stare each other down briefly, then MISTER Warrior lets out a huge roar, which is returned by Tony. Both men then simultaneously pound their chests, and begin to engage in a Tekken battle while continuing to yell at nothing in particular. Meanwhile, CPA drags Denzel into the arcade with them, and lifts him overhead, then presses him onto a skeeball ramp! COLE Look at this, CPA looking to gain a pinfall on Denzel already! CPA grabs one of the skeeballs, and loads his hand with it, then drills the recovering Denzel with the GIGATON PUNCH~!!!!!11111 Cover... 1... 2... 3!!! COACH All right, CPA! COLE And we've got a fall! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ MAN TO BEAT: CPA ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ CPA gloats, until Sandman flies into the picture, hopping onto one of the round booths, then hopping into CPA with a dropkick! CPA stumbles back onto the floor, then Sandman lays roller skate stomps into his body as he lays on the ground. COACH Hey, Sandman's pretty good on those skates! Back to the rink, where the Burrough Boys all kind of stand out of the way at the wall. COLE And the Burrough Boys taking it easy over there right now! Cortez slugs it out with Sandman just outside the arcade, while CPA comes to and hammers away on Dr. Pigley. Vinny, Biff, and Dave work together on Colombian Heat, but Dr. Anderson comes to his aid (get it? lol), going to work on Dave. Heat fights his way back on Vinny and Biff, as Anderson makes his way over to help Pigley with CPA. The Love Docs execute a double slam on CPA! Bosley attempts to help his partner, but is met with right hands! The Docs then take off around the ramp, gaining speed, and floor Bosley with a double clothesline! COLE High-impact double clothesline! Meanwhile, J-MAX manages to climb onto the half wall, waiting on CPA, and hits him with a flying bodypress! 1... 2... 3!!! COLE And J-MAX with a fall on CPA! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Man to beat: J-MAX ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Burrough Boys are surrounding the foozball table as Luther and Waldo compete in a game. Meanwhile, Mr. Dick slides a Conquistador across the skate return counter into the back room, and follows him over. They slug it out, while Deadbeat Dave hammers away on J-MAX. The other Conquistador makes his way to the skate return booth shortly after. COLE I've just been informed that 5 minutes have passed in the match! Only 10 minutes remain! Denzel and Heat dive right into the Burrough Boys, which doesn't prove to be wise as the BB's quickly make it a 4-on-2 assault, with Mariano and Waldo hammering away on Denzel, and Luther and Quincy doubling up on Heat. Mariano and Waldo hold Denzel up against the lockers on the wall, while Luther sets up Heat for a battering ram, and Quincy gains speed on his skates and pushes the two towards Heat. However, Denzel manages to escape the grip, and Heat shoves Luther off into Mariano and Quincy! COLE The Burrough Boys had a big move set up there, but Heat and Denzel turned it around! Quincy makes another dash towards Heat, but he catches him with the momentum and shoves him into the other BB's! Heat makes his way over to Luther, and drags him into the women's bathroom, while Denzel works over Mariano. He drags Mariano to the concession stand, and they fight their way into the back. COLE Into the concession stands! Vinny and Biff work over J-MAX, scooping him up and dropping him across the half-wall! Vinny then makes his way to the concession stand, as Biff skates back up onto the carpet, then climbs onto the wall, and drops a leg across the back of the head of J-MAX! He then pulls himself to his feet, and drops a knee to the sternum for good measure, then covers... 1... 2... 3!!! COLE Look at Biff FLY off that wall! COACH ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Man to beat: Biff Atlas ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Biff celebrates, as we cut back to the concession stands to catch Denzel removing the slush puppy tank, and dumping the contents onto Vinny's head! VINNY AAAH! COLD! Vinny arches back and dances around in a circle as the icy beverage runs down his back. Seconds later, a familiar tune comes over the arena. Cut to 6:54 All the combatants (including MISTER Warrior and Tony Tourettes) as well as all the customers make their way to the rink and get in formation, then Denzel rolls into the scene front and center. The music hits, and everyone begins to dance. COLE Well, we thought we'd seen it all in the OAOAST, but this is a first! The Heartland title match has broken out in song and dance! The dancing continues, but once the lyrics kick in, Heat drills Biff with a PELE KICK~! and covers him... 1... 2... 3!!! COACH What a party pooper! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Man to beat: Colombian Heat ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The BB's pound on Heat, but the Love Docs quickly join in. The crowd moves over closer to the half-wall, where the Conquistadores climb onto the wall, and both jump on top of the seven-man pile! COLE Look at this! Vinny and Biff stand on the carpet on the other side of the half-wall, while Dave stands in front of the entrance door. Dave skates towards Vinny and Biff, picking up speed, and Vinny and Biff catch him, double-hiptossing him onto the pile of people! COACH Look at that teamwork! Sandman skates onto the rink and reaches over the wall, ramming Vinny and Biff's heads together, then climbs onto the wall, and does an ugly-looking backflip on top of the pile! COLE And Sandman with a moonsault attempt, tough to do with those skates on, but down goes the mass of people once again! As the people get up once again, Mr. Dick puts his arms around the shoulders of CPA and Bosley at the far end of the rink, and the two grab MD's head in a battering ram. The three men pick up their speed, charging into the group of combatants, and crash into everyone, as everyone falls to the ground! COLE Look at the carnage! DJ AX Five minutes left in the match! FIVE MINUTES! The mass of people start to come to their feet, and Heat makes a dash at Sandman...who pulls a defenseless skater in the way, causing Heat to collide into him! COACH COLE And Sandman just sacrificed one of these paying customers to dodge that attack from Heat! This is something we feared would happen! Sandman grabs the dazed Heat, and PLANTS him with a DDT onto the floor! COLE And a DDT right into the hardwood skating floor! Cover... 1... 2... 3!!! COACH Uh-oh, this could be the start of another reign of terror for Sandman! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Man to beat: Sandman9000 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Cortez attacks Sandman from behind, as the camera cuts to the skate return booth, from where a huge cloud of smoke emerges from the window. COACH What the hell's going on here? The cameraman fights through the smoke cloud to find Vinny, Dave, Tony, and the BB's sitting in a circle, indian-style, on the floor in the backroom where all the skates are kept after they're returned. COLE Well, those guys aren't going to win the title that way! COACH My boys are like "fuck this, let's go toke it up!" MD helps Sandman out, as the two double-team Cortez. They start to set up a double-team move, but J-MAX comes to his aid, hammering away on MD. DJ AX Three minutes to go in the match, THREE minutes! COLE And Sandman9000 is just three minutes away from becoming a two-time Heartland champion! Sandman skates up to the concession stand and grabs a Coke, swigging it down, then catches Pigley coming after him with a kneelift, and slams his face into the counter. Sandman attempts to skate over and hit Cortez with a tope over the half-wall, but Cortez moves and Sandman lands with a splat on the floor! Cortez then gains speed going around the rink, and Denzel sneaks up and shoves Sandman from behind, right into a SPEAR from Cortez! COACH COLE What a spear! Denzel and Cortez dive in, and CPA, Bosley, J-MAX, the Docs and Conquistadores all pile on top of Sandman! 1... 2... 3!!! COLE And Sandman was pinned in a dogpile! But who get credit? DJ AX It's the TWOOOOOOOO Minute Warning! The referees pull the bodies off the top of Sandman, and Denzel is revealed to have snuck in for the pin just before Cortez! COLE And Denzel is going to get the credit for the fall! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Man to beat: Denzel Spencer ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Cortez hammers Denzel, and the two begin to slug it out. Cortez gets the better of the exchange, then backs up and dashes towards Denzel, who drops to the ground, as Cortez hits the wall and flips over into the carpeted area! COLE And Denzel's going to go on the defensive here! The BB's, Vinny, and Dave are seen stumbling from the back. Vinny stumbles on his skates, and falls to the ground, as he and Mariano laugh uncontrollably. COACH Those guys are wasted! Seconds later, MISTER Warrior and Tony emerge from the back, arm-in-arm. Both guys let out a roar, which turns into rumbling laughter halfway through. DJ AX ONE MINUTE, contestants! COLE Less than a minute left in this one! Denzel skates onto the carpeted area, fending off various attacks. Sandman has removed one of the bars from the foozball table, and begins hammering the combatants going after Denzel. COACH Look, that's one of those things from the foozball table! See the little guys on there? COLE Sandman trying to get Denzel all for himself! DJ AX THIRTY SECONDS! Denzel boots Sandman in the gut, then lunges at him, but gets clotheslined by the bar. DJ AX FIFTEEN SECONDS! Sandman grabs Denzel and moves towards the concession stand. DJ AX TEN! NINE! EIGHT! SEVEN! SIX! FIVE! Sandman sends Denzel's head crashing into the glass case of arcade prizes! Denzel crumples to the ground, and Sandman covers... 1... DX ONE! 2... The horn blows as the referee slaps the ground a second time! COLE The match is over! COACH Sandman wins! COLE No, I don't think there was a three-count there! Sandman raises his arms in the air, but the referee waves it off, saying that time expired. COLE There it is! DJ AX Ladies and gentlemen, the match is over! The winner, and STILL OAOAST Heartland champion, DENZEL SPENCER! COACH What a travesty! A slow count by the referee! COLE Denzel Spencer retains his Heartland title in the Skate of Die match! Denzel is helped up by the referees, and walks through the exit with his belt. COACH Well, I'll tell you what. He may have been saved by the bell tonight, but there'll be another time for Sandman9000!

“The World is Mine” by David Guetta plays the Can-Am Assassins and LDC Moneygang to the ring. BUFFER This is a Survivor Series match. Introducing first, accompanied by LORELEI DECENZO…team captains SPENCER REIGER and COLIN MAGUIRE, JR… THE LDC MONEYGANG!! And their partners, FELIX STRUTTER and KEN PANTERA… THE CAN-AM ASSASSINS!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Self-appointed team captains, I might add. COACH I don’t see the Can-Am Assassins complaining. COLE You ought to call the OAOAST Hot Newzline more often. As the heels loosen in the ring, “Shine” by Collective Soul hits. BUFFER And their opponents! First, the reigning TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS OF THE WORLD and captains… CHARLIE MOSS, QUENTIN BENJAMIN… TEAM HEYROSS!!! And their partners… DEUCE DEUCE BIGELOW and JUMBO!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Red, white and blue pyro shoots off behind Team Heyross, Deuce and Jumbo as they pose. COLE Arguably the most decorated tag team in OAOAST history, Team Heyross enter tonight fresh off two successfully title defenses against the men opposite them, Deuce and Jumbo. COACH Lady luck’s been on their side recently, but she always finds a new favorite, Cole. It’s only a matter of time before we have new tag team champions. The pre-match gear is tossed aside and we’re ready for action. * DINGDINGDING * Reiger mocks Deuce’s weight at the start, pretending to be out of breath after one step. A wry smile on his face, Deuce calls for Reiger to lockup. They do and Reiger goes straight for the eyes, blinding Deuce momentarily. Reiger drives Deuce face-first into the boot of CMJ and then tags out. Irish uppercuts and leg strikes rock Deuce against the ropes before he’s sent for the ride, but CMJ is unable to hit THE CAMBRIDGE CURSE (Stun Gun) as he legs give out and Deuce lands on top! ONE! TWO! SAVE BY REIGER! COLE What a mistake that was. I can’t believe CMJ actually thought he could get Deuce up. COACH Obviously Deuce packed on a few extra pounds during Thanksgiving, otherwise CMJ would have gotten him up with ease. Jumbo tags in and hammers away on CMJ, then whips to the buckle for a corner avalanche splash! Reiger charges in, but Jumbo moves and splashes both men in the corner! COLE This is payback right here. You know Deuce and Jumbo haven’t forgotten how CMJ and Reiger beat them a few weeks ago on OAOAST Syndicated. Quentin Benjamin receives the tag and catches CMJ with a SPRINGBOARD CLOTHESLINE! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Benjamin wrings the arm and tags Moss, then executes a drop toehold while Moss delivers a leg drop off the ropes. The cover. ONE! TWO! NO! CMJ kicks out again. Although maybe CMJ wishes he hadn’t after Moss rams him into THE HEAD of Deuce! COACH Don’t say it, Cole. COLE Talk about using your head! COACH I just knew you couldn’t resist that cliché. Another head BUTT follows, and then a RUNNING POWERSLAM, but instead of going for the cover Deuce attempts a vertical diving head BUTT only to have CMJ move. COACH Now that’s NOT using your head. Reiger gets the tag again, but runs into a backdrop! Reiger begs off in the corner, a ploy to sucker the big man in, but Deuce blocks a kick and delivers an atomic drop! Reiger stumbles to the wrong corner and receives blows from all 3 men on the apron, and then a DROPKICK BY DEUCE! COLE What agility for a man that size! Deuce introduces Reiger to the turnbuckles of both neutral corners, but Reiger manages to reverse a whip and CMJ knees the Flaming Gigolo in the back! A tag is made and CMJ works Deuce over in the heel corner, stepping away when instructed so his teammates can get in their cheap shots. COLE Where’s the second official to breakup this nonsense? COACH Is it that time of the month, Cole? You’re awfully moody tonight. Sure enough, the outside official rushes over to put an end to the triple-teaming. Then for the first time tonight a member of the Can-Am Assassins sees ring action, as Felix Strutter tags in. A series of body shots follow before Strutter attempts a DOUBLE UNDERHOOK SUPLEX, but Deuce counters with a backdrop. Strutter tags Pantera and the strongman clubs Deuce across the back, and then slams him easily! COACH That’s power right there, baby boy. COLE You aren’t kidding. I’ve never seen anybody slam Deuce with such ease. In case anybody thought it was a fluke, Pantera executes a DOUBLE UNDERHOOK STALL SUPLEX! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! The Can-Am Assassins tag, but Pantera stays in to hold Deuce up for Strutter. COLE Come on, ref. You gotta get Pantera out of there. COACH Don’t worry about it. They have until the count of 5. Strutter makes his move as does Deuce and Pantera takes the brunt of a HIGH ROUNDHOUSE KICK! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Deuce PRESS SLAMS a stunned Felix Strutter, then tags Jumbo. Strutter spots the big fella headed his direction and tags CMJ, who goes toe to toe with Jumbo. CMJ gets the worse end of the exchange and ultimately finds himself in a BEARHUG! COLE We’re gonna have our first elimination at any moment. Reiger enters to lend his partner a hand but gets cut off by Deuce. COACH We’ve got all 4 men in the ring. Deuce shoots Reiger in for a HANDSPRING ELBOW, then whips him towards Jumbo who delivers a BIG BOOT. Jumbo returns the favor and Deuce levels CMJ with a SPINNING WHEEL KICK. COACH I don’t hear you crying about the officiating now, Cole. Deuce and Jumbo have been in the ring well over the allotted 5 seconds. COLE The referee must feel things aren’t too out of handle. And I’d have to agree. It’s organized chaos, not chaotic. Jumbo bounces off the ropes for the XL SPLASH~!!! The cover. But first the ref must get Deuce out of the ring, which allows Reiger to nail Jumbo with a TOP ROPE KNEEDROP! COLE No! Reiger places CMJ on top and exits. The count. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! High-fives all around in the CAA/LDCMG corner. Needless to say that isn’t the case on the other side. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 1st elimination: Jumbo eliminated by: Spencer Reiger (pinfall) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COACH It’s 4 on 3, Cole. Strutter gets the tag and is immediately greeted by Benjamin. Benjamin fires Strutter into the ropes after a brief exchange, but Strutter counters Benjamin’s hip toss with a TRAPPED ARM BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Strutter slams Benjamin mid-ring and climbs to the top, only to be met by Benjamin who runs up the ropes to execute a RELEASE OVERHEAD BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX!!! COLE Oh, my! The cover. ONE! TWO! THR-- NO! Strutter kicks out and just barely. Team Heyross tag and they perform a cradle hip toss back suplex. Again the cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Moss brings Strutter to his feet and is raked across the eyes. Pantera receives the tag and charges in…to an arm drag! And a second! And a third! SUPERKICK catches Pantera off-guard, and Moss capitalizes with a GERMAN SUPLEX! The cover. ONE! TWO! NO, KICKOUT! Deuce tags in and hammers Pantera. Big head BUTT stuns both men briefly, then Deuce whips Pantera in for a dropkick. Like the tattoos on his head, Deuce is on fire. The Flaming Gigolo delivers a FALCON ARROW and then a TOP ROPE FLYING HEADBUTT… BUT NOBODY’S HOME! COACH More like “I’m out cold, Medina,” than Funky Cold, huh, Cole? Since it’s PPV, Pantera busts out THE APOLLON’S WHEEL~!!! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” COLE Another incredible show of strength by Ken Pantera. The cover. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! Reiger is quick to let Team Heyross know it’s 4 on 2 now. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 2nd elimination: Deuce Deuce Bigelow eliminated by: Ken Pantera (pinfall) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COACH Team Heyross might as well forfeit, Cole. The odds are stacked against them. COLE Although I don’t like their chances, if anybody can pull this off it’s Team Heyross. Moss again catches Pantera off-guard, this time with a SCHOOL BOY! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Pantera knees Moss and tags Reiger, who gets taken down by a drop toehold. Moss floats on top to apply a side headlock, but Reiger shoves him off and a blind tag is made. Reiger leapfrogs Moss on the rebound, then gets undercut by Benjamin as Moss delivers the clothesline! COLE Double Goozle! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Benjamin stays on the offensive, taking to the air to hit a FLYING CROSSBODY…BUT REIGER ROLLS THROUGH AND HOOKS THE TIGHTS!! ONE! TWO! THR-- NO, KICKOUT! Both men pop to their feet, but it’s Reiger who strikes first connecting on a standing dropkick. Benjamin falls outside where’s he’s triple-teamed by the Can-Am Assassins and CMJ. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The outside official rushes over to restore order, but the damage has been done. Reiger tosses Benjamin back inside and performs his signature SLINGSHOT DOUBLE STOMP! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! COACH Somebody tell that idiot he’s better off living to fight another day. COLE I’ve told you before, there’s no quit in Team Heyross. If they go down they’re gonna do it swinging. Reiger signals for CMJ to head up top. COACH If they hit this it’s gonna be 4 on 1, Cole. “This” being THE SPIKE REIGER COUNTER, but Benjamin takes Reiger down and SLINGSHOTS him towards the corner, causing the LDCMG to collide! CMJ tumbles to the floor while Reiger stumbles back at Benjamin, who executes a VERTICAL SUPLEX INTO SITOUT POWERBOMB!!! COLE Orange Crush! The cover. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 3rd elimination: Spencer Reiger eliminated by: Quentin Benjamin (pinfall) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Lorelei throws her arms up in disgust, then proceeds to scold the Can-Am Assassins. COACH Looks like Lorelei is coaching up her team, Cole. Just as that’s said Lorelei SLAPS Strutter! COLE I don’t know about that. COACH Obviously Lorelei subscribes to the Bobby Knight method of coaching. Strutter gets in Lorelei’s face, but CMJ comes to her defense. An argument ensues and CMJ walks away with Lorelei and Reiger. STRUTTER COLE Is he leaving? COACH It appears so. The referee starts to count CMJ out. ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE! TEN! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 4th elimination: Colin Maguire, Jr. eliminated by: Count out ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE Some co-captain CMJ is. I can’t believe he took his ball and went home. COACH I’m at a loss myself. Maybe both teams weren’t as close as I thought. Moss brings Strutter in the hard way. Strutter calls for a time out but gets a kick to the sternum instead! Moss fires Strutter across for a corner clothesline, then climbs onto the middle rope and unloads. ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! SIX! SEVEN! EIGHT! NINE! TEN! Strutter drops to his knees, gets turned over and has his legs grapevine, but a clubbing forearm by Pantera breaks up the attempted Mossy Knoll. COLE The Can-Am Assassins dodged a bullet. Had the Mossy Knoll been applied it would’ve been 2 on 1. COACH At least try to hide your bias, Cole. You’re practically drooling at the prospect of Team Heyross being up 2-1. After Strutter rams Moss into the boot of Pantera, he tags out. Pantera keeps Moss in the corner for a series of shoulder thrusts, then executes a GORILLA PRESS SLAM! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Looking to squeeze the fight out of Moss, Pantera applies a BEARHUG. COACH Listen to Moss’s back snap, crackle and pop, Cole. Benjamin encourages the crowd to rally behind Moss, and it seems to work as Moss slips an arm inside, but Pantera dashes any hope of a comeback with a TRAPPED ARM BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Strutter receives the tag and executes a fall away slam, then steps out on the apron for a SPRINGBOARD HURRICANRANA…only to have Moss counter with an STO BACKBREAKER!! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” In a world of hurt Strutter does the Curly Shuffle, and then tags out. Moss evades a charge, sending Pantera crashing hard sternum-first into the buckle, then delivers a HALF-NELSON SUPLEX which is followed by a tag and TOP ROPE BULLDOG! The cover. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 5th elimination: Ken Pantera eliminated by: Quentin Benjamin (pinfall) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ COLE What turn of events. Team Heyross found themselves down 4-2. Now they’re up 2-1. Incredible! COACH Yeah, but CMJ was not counted out, not pinned. We could bring him back to even the odds. Right? RIGHT?!? COLE Listen to yourself. You’re in denial. Reality sets in on Strutter, evident by the look on his face. STRUTTER Strutter puffs his chest and asks Team Heyross if they want some, to which they nod and motion for him to come on in. But Strutter has a change of heart and leaves, pointing to his head walking up the aisle. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Here’s a man who gets it, Cole. The odds are stacked against Felix so he’s gonna live to fight another day. COLE Who’s to say he can’t rally from being down 2-1? Team Heyross did and it was 4-2. Speaking of which, it’s funny how Strutter claimed Team Heyross were ducking him and Ken Pantera, yet he‘s the one running from a fight. The referee starts to count Strutter out… ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! …but Team Heyross catch up to him jawing with fans and drag his ass back to the ring. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Strutter pleads for mercy, but eats a DOUBLE FLAPJACK and is put away with THE SUPER ROCKER DROPPER~!!!! Moss covers. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! COACH I think I’m gonna puke. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 6th elimination: Felix Strutter eliminated by: Charlie Moss (pinfall) SOLE SURVIVORS: Team Heyross ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ *DINGDINGDING* BUFFER Here are your winners and sole survivors… CHARLIE MOSS, QUENTIN BENJAMIN… TEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMM HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" “Shine” by Collective Soul plays as Team Heyross’ hands are raised in victory. COLE They’ll be talking about this one for years, Coach. Just a truly remarkable performance by Team Heyross to overcome a 4 on 2 deficit. COACH As much as it pains me, I gotta give Team Heyross their due. A lot of teams would’ve quit, maybe even should quit with those odds, but they kept fighting. I can’t wait to hear what the LDC Moneygang have to say about this. COLE You won’t have to wait long. They’re standing by with our broadcast colleague Tony Brannigan. We cut to the Enterprise’s private dressing room where CMJ and Spencer Reiger are dining on turkey legs. BRANNIGAN Spencer Reiger, CMJ, I gotta tell you, for two guys whose team just LOST you sure don’t seem too upset. CMJ (mouthful) It couldn’t happen to a bunch of nicer guys. REIGER More like a pair of TURKEYS if you ask me. I mean, some partners the Can-Am Assassins were. The whole concept of tonight’s show is teamwork. So why the hell did they stand on the apron with their thumbs up their ass while CMJ laid in on the floor in a world of hurt and I got spiked with the Orange Crush?!? Suddenly a lot of screaming and shouting is heard in the halls. Then the door kicks open and THE CAN-AM ASSASSINS enter. STRUTTER THERE YOU ARE, YOU SONS OF BITCHES! With that all hell breaks loose as the LDC Moneygang and Can-Am Assassins go at it backstage. OAOAST officials quick to rush in and separate the four. COLE Tony, be careful back there. We cut back to Sofa Central once the action cools. Cole and Coach both stunned. COACH I don’t know what else to say after that. We're taken to an exterior image of the Air Canada Centre COLE Folks, thank you for joining us on this November Reign, lots more matches coming up!

NO HOMO PREVIEW! Maggie Nerdly stands inside the ActionZone at OAOAST HQ in Pittsburgh (blah!), PA. MAGGIE What's up, ya'll? Its the It Girl on the Scene, Maggie Nerdly here to bring you the latest screenshots and preview of No Homo. I don't wanna waste any of your time and take away from this kick ass show, so lets cut right to the chase! LEON RODEZ ENTRANCE MAGGIE Am I gonna have fun whuppin his ass, or what! VINNY VALENTINE ENTRANCE LEON VS VINNY ~~~~ VINNY VALENTINE Overall: 73 Abilities: Dirty Pin, Taunt Theif ~~~~ ~~~~ LEON RODEZ Overall 99 Abilities: Dirty Pin, Evasive Dodge, Object specialist, Move thief, Kip up, Possum Pin, Ring Escape ~~~~ MAGGIE A 99 for Leon? Well, he sure ain't a 99 in bed, I'll tell ya that much! Aight, gang, that's all we got for today, stay tuned for more OAOAST No Homo 2010!

TV 14 L, V, AND THE BEST MONKEY SEX MONEY CAN BUY! PRESENTED IN HD * DUN DUN DUN DUNNA, DUN DUN DUNNA * Across a river, over a bunch of mountains, through fields, sweeping past trees and bushes, hovering over the skyline of New York City, the OAOAST logo flies through the air...before sweeping down, brushing past an elderly man who seems understandably shocked to see six over-sized letters fly past him. The logo continues going, nearing a house...which luckily, a woman is leaving, meaning the logo can sweep through the open door, continuing on down the hallfway and into the living room where a young kid is sat on his computer. It sweeps past him, hitting the computer...which explodes with a flash, lighting up much to the kid's shock and delight. THE OAOAST...WHAT THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD IS READING~! Listen to this song as you read the intro EXT. Castle The caste is age worn, dreary, decrypted and wasted away by years of neglect. Countless vines ensare it, trappig it beneath their thorny underbush. Outside a figure in a black cloak ascends stairs’ who’s stone lies chipped by the cruelty of time. INT. Throne room. The thorn room has been invaded by the relentless assault of cob and spider webs. The throne itself looks nothing more than a rusted, weathered, piece of furniture long overdue for a mercy killing. Sitting inside it, is the broken, destroyed corpse of the once king of the castle. On his head rests a crown, that shines in perfect conditions, and reads “KING MALIBU” The black cloaked figure enters the throne room. Stepping past layers of dust, and schools of rodents he approaches the throne. The figure whips his head back, revealing himself to be none other than OAOAST world champion Reject. The champion forces the crown off Zack’s cropse and lays it atop his head. REJECT This is my November Reign. Spencer Reiger wears the crown. REIGER This is my November Reign. Alix wears the crown. ALIX This is my November Reign. Landon Maddix wears the crown. LANDON This is my November Reign. Holly wears the crown HOLLY This is my November Reign Morgan wears the crown. MORGAN This is my November Reign. The entire OAOAST roster, clad in identical black cloaks stands in front of the castle ROSTER This is our November Reign! REJECT Long live the king. COLE Folks it is electric here in Toronto, Ontario! We hope you had a fantastic Thanksgiving and didn’t get mauled to death on Black Friday, I am Michael Cole this is Da Coach and we are at November Reign. COACH Big matches tonight, Mikey. Huge! COLE You can say that again, let’s get right to one with a SIXTEEN PERSON survivor series match! *DINGDINGDING* As the bell sounds, the teams get together in their corners. Landon leads all seven of his team-mates with a last minute strategy session, while Baron makes it clear he's starting for his team. On the outside, Queen Esther blissfully waves to the crowd. COLE So let's see who's going to start things off out of this mass of humanity. Eventually the other members of each team line up on the apron. Which leaves Baron to starts things off with Lucius Soul. Lucius combs at his fro, while Baron's eyes wander over to Landon, making it clear who he wants. Baron and Lucius eventually lock up and the big Texan muscles Soul back into a neutral corner. LUCIUS Yo, step off me brother! Step off me brother! A clean break doesn't placate Lucius, put out at the fact his 'fro got messed with. He combs it back down, glaring at Baron for daring to touch his hair, before they lock up again. Baron quickly wrings the arm and gives it a couple of tugs, giving Lucius something worth worrying about. First tag is made to bring in Ned, to a cheer. Ned lays into Lucius's arm and takes over with the wristlock. Lucius goes to the gut with a knee though. Dishing out two right hands, Lucius then takes Ned over, making the tag to James Blonde. COLE Plenty of options there to tag here in the early going of this match. But as the eliminations come, this field will whittle down before your eyes. When a man is eliminated, his partner must go too, meaning this first fall will leave one team at an 8 to 6 disadvantage. Blonde tees off on Ned confidently as he comes in. But The Handsome Hustler doesn't stand for that for long. Reaching out for the blonde mane of his fashion conscious opponent, all it takes is one tug from Ned to bring JB down to his knees with a yelp. "HEY! HEY HEY HEY!" Cries of disgust from Blonde's corner rain in, as Ned ignores the referee and makes Blonde suffer a little. COACH Come on! He's treating him like a cheap hooker! COLE .... COACH Not that I'd know anything about that. COLE .... Tag is made by Simon and Blonde takes advantage, scurrying away. In comes Scottish Scott to match up with BOSS. The Scot goes to lock up with Simon, only for Singleton to duck underneath and grab a hold of Scott by the BEARD. "HEEEYYY" The cries are now whines as the hair-based offence continues from the Cobras. Scott catches Simon with a back elbow to free his facial features, before they're torn off. Irish whip sends Simon for the ride, but the well-populated apron saves him as a blind tag is made by Blanchard. Simon manages to slide through Scott's legs to save himself, then uses a quick drop toehold to take Scott down, setting him up for the POINTY ELBOW~! COLE VINTAGE Ned and Simon! Ned covers... 1... 2... No! Ned tries to pull Scott up, but he breaks free and tags in Nathaniel Black. Black comes in and immediately blasts Ned with a European uppercut, which changes the mood in a split second. COLE Here's a man with a lot of frustrations. And eight opponents to take them out on. Backed into a corner, Ned is blasted across the chest with a double palm thrust. And another. Then another European uppercut. All serving to knock the wind out of Ned, while Black walks away and tries a charge. Ned sidesteps in the corner though and Black runs himself into the turnbuckles. Tag is made to MARV, who quickly runs the ropes and nails Black with a running dropkick. Black is knocked back against the ropes behind him, but not down. And he patiently waits for MARV to step his way, before dishing out another European uppercut. COACH Wow, Nat Black, just blasting dudes like... uh... like a European, I guess. With MARV down Landon suddenly makes himself seen amongst his many partners. Eager for the tag, he gets it, despite Black not being eager to tag out. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Landon quickly puts the boots to MARV, stopping for a second to pose for the crowd which almost draws in Baron. Both Blonde and Queen Esther look on with pride as Landon whips MARV to the ropes and delivers a Dropsault! Cover... 1... 2... No! Taking too much time picking MARV up, Landon allows the Edmonton native to crawl through the ropes and apply the tag. Annoyed, Landon turns around INTO A BIG KISS FROM MORACCA!!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" QUEEN ESTHER COACH AAH! COVER YOUR EYES, QUEEN! Unable to stand anymore, James Blonde comes in and peels (ew!) Moracca off of Landon. COLE Jealous much? COACH Hey! Blonde argues with Moracca (quite the task seeing as he speaks no English), while Landon overcomes the horror of what just happened. And he manages to clear the taste out of his mouth. Unfortunately, he does this by spitting, just as Blonde tries to punch Moracca and he ducks. BLONDE UGH! Surprisingly, Blonde isn't honoured to be covered in the phlegm of his leader and wretches it back at Moracca... who ducks again, causing Landon to be hit with the spit! COLE Landon and Blonde getting into some hot spit-swapping action, only here live in the OAOAST! Blonde tries to apologise to Landon, unaware that Mariachi has snuck into the ring. Despite the warnings from their partners. And Los Diablos grab onto the blonde locks of both Landon and Blonde, much to their horror, as their faces are pressed togethe... NO! The Mardi Gras Hellfire Club break up the potential man on mentor action! That draws in The Orange County Cobras, which draws in everyone else, for a MASS brawl!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE And it did not take long for this one to break down! All sixteen men going at it and good luck trying to control this referee Charles Robinson! The individual brawls spread around the ring and inevitably outside, just a sea of flying fists. Remaining in the ring, Los Diablos lie in wait for Landon and trap him, looking to deliver the Kiss Of Death. However before he can be taken down, Maddix is saved, as Lucius Soul flies in and nails Moracca with the POOOOOUUUUUUNNCCEEEE~!!! That leaves Mariachi still clinging to Landon, easily overpowered and spun into the mat with the Crash Landon '05! COACH Count ref! Pay attention! COLE Pay attention!? There's like 7 different fights going on! The ref finally does turn around to see Landon pinning Mariachi, despite Moracca being the 'legal' Diablo... 1... 2... 3!!! COACH Yeah! Count it! COLE Landon gets the pin, but on the wrong member of Los Diablos! COACH Ah, who cares? They look exactly the same. COLE Because they're Mexican!? COACH No, because they're wearing masks and covered from head to toe in pink lycra. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eliminated: Los Diablos De Fuego Elimination: Mariachi by Landon Maddix TEAM LANDON 4(x2) TEAM BARON 3(x2) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Landon has the audacity, amongst all this fighting, to celebrate his pinfall win. He doesn't realise that Ned Blanchard has slid back in behind him and announces himself, via a fist to the face! COLE The match continues on regardless and with a 6 to 8 deficit for Ned Blanchard to try and rectify. Irish whip by Ned, setting Landon up for a Powerslam! 1... 2... No! Landon backs into a corner, trying to lure Ned in. But The Handsome Hustler is wise to all Landon's tricks and blocks the attempt at a kick to the gut. The sudden nice-guy act doesn't do Maddix any good either, begging off not an escape route. Ned drops the foot and starts to unload with right hands in the corner. Stomps then work their way in, forcing Landon down against the bottom turnbuckle, covered up as best he can against the boots. COLE Ned stomping an Orange County mudhole in Landon's chest and walking it dry! COACH Do they have mudholes in Orange County? Pulled back up, Landon is whipped to the opposite corner. Maddix gets a knee up on a Blanchard charge though. The brawls on the outside start to break off and the competitors start to get back on the apron, which allows Landon to tag Danny Boy. COLE Here comes Danny Boy, that ought to cheer up Queen Esther... COACH Oh my God, I forgot about the Queen! Is she okay!? She didn't get caught up with any of these fighting brutes, did she!? COLE I'm sure she's fine. Who cares? Back to the match. COACH Who cares!? I oughta slap the shit outta you son, disrespecting a Queen like that! Where are your goddamn manners!? Danny Boy works over Ned, clubbing away at the back. Aiming him off with an irish whip Danny then throws a clothesline, but Ned ducks underneath. Putting on the breaks Ned waits, looking to catch hold of Danny Boy for the Stungun, but Danny Boy puts on the blocks and slams a double axehandle into Ned's back. DANNY BOY *beats chest* COACH Ach aye, Danny! After a couple more double axes, Danny tries to whip Ned again. But this time, Ned counters. Pulling Danny Boy in, Blanchard gets the double leg pick-up, turns 180 and hits the STUNGUN! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE Stungun! And a tag, to Singleton! Simon rushes up the turnbuckles, up top, for the ROCKET LAUNCHER!!! Ned stands guard... 1... 2... 3!!! "YYYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" COLE And just like that we are all evened up! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eliminated: The Last Kings Of Scotland Elimination: Danny Boy by Simon Singleton TEAM LANDON 3(x2) TEAM BARON 3(x2) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Queen Esther looks distraught, as her Last Kings are sent to the back. So distraught, she can barely look them in the eyes. Nor Ned and Simon, who wave them bye-bye. COLE Great job by the Orange County Cobras. That two man deficit never got a chance to be a factor, Ned got right in there and went right to work. COACH Shame on Danny Boy. Not the performance of Kings, really. Let their Queen down. Regrouping his team, Landon sends Faqu into the ring. COACH Hmm, what was that I just felt being picked up around me. Oh, that's right, BUSINESS! Ned squares up to Faqu, eyeing up the big Samoan... and decides to let Baron Windels have a go. Baron asks Ned what's up and he feigns a sore hamstring, before encouraging Baron to "go get 'em!" COLE So the two big men of the teams, Faqu and Baron. I guess Ned can admit when he's not the bigger man after all. COACH Come on, that was worse than my line! Eye to eye Baron and Faqu staredown, the Samoan growing ever angrier by the second. And he throws a big right. But Baron blocks and slugs Faqu in the jaw! Faqu tries again, but again Baron fires back. Big, Texas sized right hands rock Faqu against the ropes, setting up an irish whip and a dropkick, knocking Faqu off his feet! COLE Wow! Down goes Faqu! Baron quickly covers... 1... 2... No! Wringing the arm Baron controls the wild savage while Tim Cash comes in with an axehandle. Cash bars the arm and brings Faqu down to the mat. An elbow dug in the shoulder has Faqu grunting, which presumably means he's in pain. COLE One of the best technicians in the OAOAST is Tim Cash. And if he can keep Faqu down on the mat he stands a much better chance against him. Into a hammerlock, Cash drops a knee to the arm. Reaching out for a tag Tim then gentlemanly lets Ned Blanchard in on the fun, working the hammerlocked arm with a couple of knees of his own. Another tag then brings Baron in for more of the same. FAQU BLARRHAHARGH! RARRRAAHAHGAH!! COACH I think he's saying that Baron pulled the hair, Cole. COLE He did not! Baron keeps hold of Faqu as he climbs back to his feet. One hard elbow changes that though. Faqu follows Baron over to the ropes and headbutts him in the shoulder, then tries to throw him into the ropes. But Baron hangs on and pulls Faqu in for a Single Arm DDT! With Faqu down, Baron tries a cover... 1... 2... No! Pinning down the arm Baron reaches out for Simon, who comes in off the top with a flying knee to the bad arm! COLE And Baron's team doing a great job of isolating Faqu from his corner and working on that arm. Not the guy you'd expect them to target. COACH Yeah, what good is going after Faqu's arm? You think you're going to make him quit? Simon boots Faqu in the gut as he gets back up and tries an irish whip. Even with a bad arm though, Faqu has the strength to put on the brakes. Instead Faqu throws Singleton into a corner and crushes him with an Avalanche!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE There's the flaw in Team Baron's plan. Tag is made and as Simon staggers out of the corner, James Blonde runs up the turnbuckles and flies in from Simon's blindside with a knee to the side of the head! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Blonde puts the boots to Simon, before dragging him away from outstretched arms of his allies. A scoop and a slam places Singleton in position near the corner. And Blonde heads up the turnbuckles again. This time, from the second rope, he measures with a big right hand... but MISSES the Marty Jannetty Fistdrop, as Simon rolls out of the way! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" Rolling to the corner Simon tags in MARV, who comes in swinging. Unloading with right hands MARV runs through Blonde and takes a swing at Lucius and Rico on the apron as well. Blonde tries to take advantage of the lapse in concentration by cutting MARV off with a clothesline, but MARV ducks underneath and comes back at JB with a Running Hurricanrana! COLE The pace is picking up with The Christ Air Express! Blonde takes another wild swing at MARV and gets caught with a schoolboy... 1... 2... NO! MARV tries to charge at Blonde again, but this time The Trendsetter gets an elbow up to block. Blind tag is made to MEL though. And as Blonde charges, MARV leapfrogs, putting Blonde right in the path of a Flying Crossbody from MEL!! 1... 2... NO! COLE Teamwork like you're only going to see from MARV and MEL! COACH Yeah, but that doesn't make it any more legal. MEL quickly tries to whip Blonde to the ropes. But Blonde reverses... and with the referee busy putting MARV back on the apron, Landon Maddix takes advantage with a knee to the back!! COLE HEY! From the outside, Maddix! Stricken, MEL pulls up and falls prey to Illegally Blonde!! 1... 2... 3!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE And thanks to an assist, Blonde picks up the fall! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eliminated: The Christ Air Express Elimination: MEL by James Blonde TEAM LANDON 3(x2) TEAM BARON 2(x2) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Queen Esther applauds the ingenuity of Landon, who smirks at the fans whilst trying to look nonchalant. So nonchalant that he doesn't notice James Blonde celebrating. And as Blonde tries to get Landon's attention, he doesn't pay enough to Tim Cash, in from behind with an O'Connor roll! 1... 2... 3!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Horror-stricken, Blonde sits on his knees with his hands on his head as finally, Landon turns around, to see that his team's advantage lasted even less time than their first one! COACH OH NO! COLE Blonde caught napping! And we are all evened up again! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eliminated: James Blonde and Faqu Elimination: James Blonde by Tim Cash TEAM LANDON 2(x2) TEAM BARON 2(x2) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A despondant Blonde leaves, trying desperately to apologise to Landon at the same time. Meanwhile Nathaniel Black comes in to duke it out with Cash. COLE Looks like it's bed without dinner for James Blonde tonight! Maybe a few minutes on the naughty step! Blonde continues to plead for forgiveness as he and Faqu are ejected. Back in the ring, Black takes over on Cash with a series of European uppercuts and sends him to the ropes. Black aims for the midsection with a low headbutt, but Cash goes up and over with a sunset flip... 1... 2... No! Rolling through, Black takes the legs, looking for a crab hold. With a twist of his body Cash is able to escape, sending Black for a spin as well. Quick tag and Baron Windels comes in, going to work on Black with his Texas sized right hands and a couple of Cowboy Bebop elbows thrown in for good measure. Whipped from corner to corner, Black is set up for the flying BUTT bump of Futuramatude, but moves out of the way. He quickly tags Lucius, who tries to take advantage of Baron's rest in the corner with a Yakuza Kick... but Baron moves out of the way! COLE Ooh, and Lucius gets crotched! COACH That's okay. That's not going to hurt a stone cold pimp like Lucius! Once he's able to drag himself off the ring ropes, Lucius turns around and gets nailed with a clothesline. Baron tags in Simon and slams Lucius, for Simon to come off the top with a Flying Kneedrop! Cover... 1... 2... No! Lucius rolls away and tries to catch Singleton with a backhand slap, but Simon ducks. A boot to the gut doubles Soul up. Off the ropes Simon then delivers a running kneelift, carrying on off the ropes looking for a clothesline. Lucius avoids him with a leapfrog though, then delivers a Bicycle Kick to Simon as he comes back! COACH YEAH~! COLE What a shot, right to the BUTT of the jaw with that boot. Tag is made to Rico, who strokes down the porn 'stache and delivers the big legdrop, pinning Simon down... 1... 2... No! Rico slaps on a chinlock, trying to keep Simon from his corner. COLE It's an interesting line-up we're left with. The eight man tag team champions trimmed in half and Citizen Soldiers side by side with Simon and Ned, who've been far from good citizens in the past. But they're trying to get behind Simon right here. Fighting back to his feet, Simon goes to the ribs with an elbow. A second. And a third. Simon then tries to whip Rico to the corner, but the Brazilian reverses, only to miss with a clothesline in the corner! Simon tags Rico with a couple of right hands, then quickly tags in Ned. The Handsome Hustler comes in swinging, unloading on Rico, then on Lucius who tries to enter the ring illegally to help his partner. COLE And the old bitter feelings are beginning to spill over between the Cobras and the Hellfire Club! Ned and Simon tee off on Lucius and Rico respectively, all four men in the ring as their partners look on from the apron. Double irish whips set up the Mardi Gras duo for a double BAAAAACK bodydrop! "YYYEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" COACH Come on ref, get some control up in this place! With Lucius hurt and rolling out of danger, Rico is left two on one. Simon and Ned set him up, signalling to the crowd that it's time for a special Double Feature. Together they send the Brazilian to the ropes... and deliver the Double Feature Flapjack, not realising that Landon had snuck out a hand while their heads were down. Ned goes for the cover, but the referee refusing to count. COLE I think a tag was made! Rico's not the legal man! Cussing out the referee, an unsuspecting Ned gets up from the cover. And on one knee, he's BLASTED in the face with a Superkick! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" With Ned rocked, Landon quickly picks him up and delivers the GTS, while Black plays blocker, keeping Baron and Cash from getting in... 1... 2... 3!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" COLE Oh man! The Cobras are gone and it's four on two... I don't think Ned has any idea what hit him! COACH A classic misdirection play! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eliminated: Orange County Cobras Elimination: Ned Blanchard by Landon Maddix TEAM LANDON 2(x2) TEAM BARON 1(x2) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Too little too late, but Baron manages to muscle his way past Black and into the ring, to start unloading on Landon with right hands! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" The crowd go wild as Landon is pounded senseless, but are left deflated when Black finally cuts Baron off from behind. Black clubs away on Baron, until Tim Cash comes to the rescue and peels Black away. As they do battle, Landon waves for the Mardi Gras Hellfire Club, who quickly aide La Cucaracha in a 3 on 1 beating of the big Texan. COLE Okay, it's four on two, but that's no excuse for this kind of numbers advantage. You're telling me the referee can spot that blind tag, but he can't see that there's six men in the ring? COACH He sees it. He just can't do anything about it. COLE ...that's just as bad! Baron ends up being kicked to the arena floor and his three attackers follow him outside, which at least solves Cole's problem. In the ring, Cash and Black exchange forearms, with the Brit getting the better of it. He delivers a European uppercut, putting Cash on the backfoot. Off the ropes Black then looks for a big Lariat, but Cash spins around the back, into a Backslide! 1... 2... NO! Rolling to his feet, Black grabs Cash and tries to cross the arms for the Brittania Bomb. Cash spins out before that can happen, leaping up to crack Black with a quick Enziguri! The Brit wobbles, but doesn't go down. So Cash quickly climbs to the top rope. Black manages to shake the effects of the kick off, but not in time to prevent Tim coming off the top with a Missile Dropkick! COLE Here we go, Tim's got him, he's got him! 1... 2... KICKOUT! Tim holds his head in his hands, but doesn't even think of complaining about the count. Meanwhile, on the outside, Baron is fighting back on all three of his opponents. Teeing off on Rico and Lucius, he dishes out right hands, alternating between the two. But in doing so, he loses sight of Landon Maddix, who has bailed to consort with Queen Esther. And before Baron knows what's happened, he's laid out, struck in the back of the head with the SCEPTER!! COLE LOOKIT... THE SCEPTER! COACH And the referee didn't see a thing! Brilliant! COLE Baron is knocked OUT, what is that thing made of!? With Baron KOed, Cash is all alone, but catches a break on Black with a double leg trip allowing him to slap on the MIDWEST SLING! No danger of Black submitting though, as Lucius slides in and blasts Cash with a boot to the side of the head! COLE And now, it's four on one! Five if you count Queen Esther! Ridiculous! With Landon standing back and looking on proudly, The Mardi Gras Hellfire Club pick Cash back up. Queen Esther cheers her knights on, as they set Tim up. Rico lifts him over the shoulders, as Lucius comes off the turnbuckles with the MOUSTACHE RIDE/SWINGING DDT COMBO!!!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COACH Spiked him! With Cash motionless, Landon strolls over and kneels down on Cash's chest, with a huge grin on his face. COLE Oh come on! 1... 2... 3!!!! QUEEN ESTHER YAAAAAY!! *DINGDINGDING!* The Queen jumps for joy, clapping her hands, as Landon stands up as nonchalantly as he had gotten down. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners and sole survivors... THE MARDI GRAS HELLFIRE CLUB... and, NATHANIEL BLACK and LANDON MADDIX!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE And after all that, Landon had to get the glory. Gimme a break. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eliminated: Citizen Soldiers Elimination: Tim Cash by Landon Maddix SOLE SURVIVORS: MARDI GRAS HELLFIRE CLUB, LANDON MADDIX and NATHANIEL BLACK ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Queen climbs into the ring to join the celebrations, as Landon shares a handshake with both Rico and Lucius on a job well done. As she skips into the ring Queen Esther is then taken by the hand by Landon, who kisses the hand and raises it in victory. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" COACH Bravo! Bravo! COLE Oh, please. This is sickening. Landon, the Queen and her Hellfire Club continue to lord it over everybody in the ring, with Black happy to have won too, but not one for 'lording it'. Or 'happiness', really.

Oh shit, this match ain't even finished and its already awesome!!!

God of Thunder hits and the crowd buzzes with hatred. The entryway is lit by flashing yellow lights that hail the arrival of ThunderKid. The hero of Green Bay raises his arms in salute to his own greatness before he makes his way down the entrance ramp. BUFFER The following is a Untied States Title match scheduled for one fall with a time limit of sixty minutes. Now making his way to the ring, from Green Bay, Wisconsin, he is a former One and Only tag team champion and United States champion... THUNDERKIIIIIIIIIID! COLE There’s a happy man with The Green Bay Packers having beat The Lions on this Turkey day. TK enters the ring, and makes the classic belt motion to jeers from the audience. Hey girl Where's your drink? We goin' all get real drunk tonight Hey girl I got bud we can all get fucked up tonight (get fucked up tonight) By the end of the night Imma have you drunk and throwing up (hey! ) By the end of the night Imma have you so fucked up Paraidiso Girl’s Patron Tequila booms into the arena and is met with a massive ovation from the audience. Rising onto the side of the entrance stage is a bar setting complete with patrons, and a neon pink sign that says “ALIX’S!” On top of the bar counter, attired in white booty shorts, and a white tube top is Miss Speiza herself. She wows the audience and the bar flys with some dirty dancing. She then hops off the bar and blows a kiss to the camera, leading super imposed red lips to appear on the screen. BUFFER And hisopponent, first from Los Angeles, California…..she is the United States Champion…..ALIX MARIA SPEZIAAAAAAAAAAA! Alix meerily skips down the entrance ramp, high fiving the fans before she charges up the ring steps. She then flashes the peace sign Yes I copied last week’s intro. No time to write a new one I’m afraid. DING DING DING Although unsure of the quirky Alix, TK decides to match his strength against her’s with a lockup. There’s a moments struggle before TK inevitably wins out and pushes the champion into a corner. His hands finds her face and uncomfortably press against it. Alix, however, has an easy solution to this problem. She bites his fingers! TK howls in miserey and immediately lets go of Alix. Unfortunately she hounds him towards the center of the ring and acquires a headlock. COLE I’m used to biting in the bedroom and its only fun when you or your partner Deshaun have a safe word. The hold doesn’t last for very long, as TK manages to shove the Hollywood Bad Girl into the ropes. She bounces back only to have TK leapfrog her. This forces her to take another run off the ropes, and when she does, the former US champion again leap frogs her. Alix again must run the ropes. Her arrival towards TK sees another leap frog, but this time Alix is wise to it and sticks out her foot. This causes TK to land crotch first on her tennis shoes! Alix bounces up and down and claps happily before rolling TK into a pinfall… ONE! TWO! TK rolls himself out the pinfall. He quickly rolls to his feet, and sends an anger spurred lariat at Alix. But the sexy Latina dodges it by sliding behind TK. There she gives him an atomic wedige! COLE Painful. Memories. High School. In front of all the marching band. GET MY UNDERWEAR OUT THE TUBA! NO THE DRUM STICKS DON’T GO IN THAT HOLE! AHHHHHHHH! Alix takes a swat at TK with a leaping enziguri, but the still wedgied puglist ducks his head. Moving with great speed, her captures Alix’s bare legs and begins roll her over into a boston crab. “FIX YOUR PANTS! FIX YOUR PANTS! FIX YOUR PANTS!” the fans chant at TK. He ignores their pleas, and instead keeps his focus on torturing Alix with his painful submission! The hold seemingly exhausts Alix, and she pounds her hands against the mat in frustration. Despite the agony, Alix reaches for the ropes and eventually she reaches them. The fans cheer as TK is forced to relequnsh his hold. He pulls Alix to her feet, and sends her on a run into the turnbuckles. TK charges after her, but his arrival carries him directly into a raised tennis shoe from brunette babe. As he staggers away injured, she leaps onto the third rope and springboards backwards to catch him in the face with a dropkick. Alix giggles with delight as she attempts a pinfall…. ONE! TWO! ThunderKid gets his soulder off the canvas with time to spare. With much haste he heads to his feet and puts himself off the ropes. Alix greets his return…by doing the robot!??? Highly perplexed ThunderKid stops dead in his tracks. This is when Miss Robot, slaps him in the face and hits him with a leaping DDT! The referee quickly gets into position for another pinfall… ONE! TWO! ThunderKid kicksout! COACH Gotta love the way ThunderKid kicksout of pins. If the virgin mary’s unsoiled vagina could give birth to a second child it’d be ThunderKid’s kickout style. COLE Forgive him, God, he knows not what blasphemy he speaks! Both competitors head to their feet, but it’s the wearied ThunderKid getting in some heavy right hands. He the grabs onto Alix’s arm and attempts to whip her towards a corner. But Alix will have none of that and reverses the hold to send TK into the corner. The agile Green Bay native avoids a horrible crash by running up to the third rope. He then flies backwards and shoves Alix to the ground with a cross body block! The fans are none to pleased with that move, but TK certainly is as he attempts a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Alix pops out the pin. Getting to her feet proves to be a difficult task as TK smacks her in the face with a dropkick. She staggers backwards into the ring posts, giving the former US champion the opportunity to strike her with a corner splash! The shot lands with tremendous force, and she begins to teeter over. But TK keeps her upright in order to launch her to the opposite corner. He follows in after her, and when he nears he takes to skies with a second body splash. However, this time Alix is well prepared for his strike and jumps upwards to nail TK in the face with a rising knee! “YEAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE That looked painful, and I bet it felt painful! ThunderKid stumbles away from Alix, holding tightly to his weakened jaw bone. Alix taunts him by spanking her tush and inviting him to take a shot. Rather than be mesmerized by the glorious jiggling of her but, TK is annoyed and charges shoulder lowered. But Alix slides out the way, and TK is forced to ram shoulder first into the corner posts. The fans are dekighted, but TK is noticeably less so. As he uneasily steps to the center of the ring, the US champion climbs the turnbuckles. “Shout outs to my pilgrims on the Mayflower, eatin with them Indians and then shooting em in the back. We rockin wit u founding fathers in Los Angeles, screw them hatin’ ass niggas!” With that wonderful Thanksgiving message, The Hollywood Bad Girl departs the turnbuckles and strikes down TK with a tumbling lariat! As the audience cheers her aerial show, Alix scampers onto TK and goes for a pin… ONE! TWO! TK pops his shoulder off the canvas, saving himself from certain defeat. While he struggles to get himself off the canvas, Alix pushes herself off the ring ropes. But as she skates across the ring, TK manages to knock her over with an unexpected bicycle kick. Quickly he dives atop Alix for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Alix makes the kickout which pleases the sold out audience. COLE Look at the speed ThunderKid delivered that kick with, it totally caught Alix off guard. COACH And its gonna catch her team off guard at November Reign, I know that. TK leaves Alix behind and heads to the corner. He makes moves to the top rope, jawing back and forth with the audience as he does so. But before he can properly elevate himself, Alix dropkicks his leg from under him. Somewhat fortunately he is able to land in a precarious standing position on the ring apron. But he hasn’t time to get his bearings before Alix dropsaults him off the apron. “YEAAAAAAAA!” The audience gets even to cheer about when the Hollywood Bad Girl descends from the top rope and takes TK to the ground with a diving spear! COLE Alix risking life and limb with an amazing aerial attack! Alix picks TK up and throws him inside the squared circle. Alix follows him in, but is put on the defensive as he rises with a lariat. But she ducks behind it, and then PINCHES his BUTT. “YEOOOOOOWWWWWWWW!” “Soft, squishy, not to firm, lacks defined musculature, I’d give this BUTT a 4.7” she comments. Much to her surprise TK takes offense and wheels around to strike at her, but she drops him down to the canvas with a drop toe hold. She then grabs onto the ropes and shakes them like a wild woman to the pleasure of the fans. With the ropes bouncing behind her Alix runs forward and lands a leg drop across TK’s neck! A pinfall is made… ONE! TWO! TK throws his shoulder off the canvas. Giving him little time to rest, Alix grabs onto his arm and promptly hurls him into the corner. Before he as a moment to register his surroundings, Alix attacks him with a dropkick right to the face. Alix then returns to TK to drill him in the jaw with a diving elbow! The fans pop once again, and Alix makes another pinfall.. ONE! TWO! It’s a near fall as TK manages a last second kickout. He fights to his feet, where he meets an assault of chops aimed at his chest. Though these strikes sting mightily, they can’t prevent him from nailing Alix in her waifish stomach. He then grabs onto her with a front facelock. From there he brings her into the air, seeking a falcon arrow. But Alix is crafty and wise to his hold and uses her knees to strike her to freedom. Landing on her feet, she immediately rushes towards the ropes. Coming back she fires herself forward with a cross body block. But TK manages to turn that over into a powerslam. He hooks onto both her legs for a pinfall… ONE! TWO! Alix lifts a shoulder off the canvas. “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” While the fans sing her name, Alix is dragged upright by TK. He throws her forward into the ropes, and then sticks his leg out to catch her with a big boot. She topples over, crumbling into the canavs. TK gives her little time to catch her breath, as he latches onto her tanned legs. He then falls backwards and slingshots her into the nearby corner. She lands hard against the ring posts, and injured groans seep through her mouth. Within moments of hearing these wails, a blood thirsty ThunderKid runs to nail her back with a shoulder tackle! COACH That’s like getting hit by a raging bull. TK then grabs onto Alix’s waist and throws her backwards with a snap suplex. He then leaps to his feet, where his boots drive into Alix’s back with pinpoint percesion. As she wails her miserey, the former US champion pulls the current off the mat. He holds onto white booty shorts and pulls her back and forth to strike her lower back with forearms. Her bare back burns a bright red, a pleasing colour to ThunderKid. He happily puts himself off the ropes, and comes back to wack Alix in the back with a running boot. “BOOOOOOO!” the fans jeer in response to TK holding up his arms. He ignores their taunts and insults and attempts a pinfall on Alix…. ONE! TWO! Alix makes the kickout! “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” COLE Judging by the look on TK’s face he wasn’t expecting that. Frustrated TK, grumbles to himself as he picks Alix off the ring apron. But the brunette beauty begins to fire right hands into his midsection , causing him pain and annoyance. In response, he takes his knee and rams it directly into her forehead. Alix falls over, landing between the second and third ropes where she gasps for air and strength. TK leaves her behind, and charges to the ropes. He rushes back at top speeds and jumps forward to crash into her back with raised knees. Alix screams in anguish as she topples backwards, falling lifelessly to the mat. TK drapes his arm across her neck for a crucial pinfall…. ONE! TWO! A kickout! “YEAAAAAAAAA!” TK’s anger comes through grit and grinding teeth. He hauls Alix up by her chocolate colored hair and beats on her back with clubbing forearms. He then runs to the ropes, hoping to be able to cut through her with a spear. But as soon as he lowers his body, Alix shoots forward and drags him downwards with a sunset flip! ONE! TWO! But TK rolls himself out the pinfall. He comes back to his feet, and drops Alix off her’s with a double leg take down. He attempts to switch her over into a sharpshooter, but Alix’s resiliency allows her to rocket upward and drag TK down for another pinfall. ONE! TWO! But once again, TK kicksout. COLE Two very close near falls here on the Thanksgiving HeldDOWN~! As both performers are on their feet, TK fires off a lariat at Alix. She manages to duck that attack, but TK whips around with a kick that catches her right in the jaw. Alix falls sideways, all semblance of life drained from her face. An eager ThunderKid drops on top of her in a pinfall effort… ONE! TWO! THR-ALIX KICKSOUT! The fans erupt with enthused cheers, as TK falls backwards and curses his ill luck. COLE ThunderKid no doubt thought he was about to be a two time United States champion. Still angered TK stands up and gruffly demands that Alix does the same. His patience fails poorly, and he has no choice but to bring Alix off the canvas himself. But as he does so, the California hottie begins pumping elbows into his lower abdomen. These strikes serve their purpose and brush him backwards. This allows Alix to rise upright and begin throwing forearms against TK’s face,. COLE Look at Alix go, bringing the fight right to ThunderKid! COACH Reject ain’t gonna approve of TK dropping another US Title match. Best friends, nothing, the R-Man doesn’t play when it comes to wins and losses. With TK dazed from her flurry of strikes, Alix is able to rush into the ropes. But when she returns, TK is able to stab her stomach with a sharp boot. Alix doubles over in agony and this permits him to ltrap her in a front facelock. “THUNDER BOLT DDT!” he bellows to boos. But boos quickly turn into cheers, as Alix rips her body from his clutches. TK tries to reclaim his hold, but Alix snaps her hands around his neck. Within seconds he’s flipped by a sommersault neckbreaker! COLE Confessions of a Kristaholic! “YEAAAAAAAA!” The pin is made… CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! REJECT SMASHES A CHAIR INTO ALIX’S BACK! DING DING DING COACH I told you, that boy don’t play when it comes to wins and losses. Reject smiles at his handiwork, and soon The Heavenly Rockers join him within the ring.. Together they stomp away at poor Alix, while ThunderKid recovers in the background. Alix tries to fight to her feet, but the vultures are too much to counter. However, help appears on the way, as D*LUX bursts through the doors and charges down the entrance ramp. “YEAAAAAAAAAAA!” D*LUX enters the ring and immediately take down the Heavenly Rockers with twin spears. A slightly recovered ThunderKid is nailed with the Hit Me Baby One More time! The fans are overjoyed with what they see. That is until Reject hits a Euology on Tyler! Things for from terrible to horrendous for D*LUX when Leon Rodez comes in to take a chair to Shayne’s knees. COLE Come on! The beatdown resumes for no more than a few seconds before Alfdogg is sprinting down the ring . He slides into the squared circle, popping up to avoid a weak lariat from Synth. He charges forward and attempts to lariat Reject out the ring. But he’s cut off by running tackle from Logan Mann. With the MACHO Macho Mann holding Alfdogg down, Reject and Synth begin smashing their boots into Alf’s skull. COLE The numbers game keeps favoring Team Leject! *BbwWbAhmotherfuckerLlIiiBbbEErRrAATtTeeyYyOUUurRrMmmMmMiIInNnDddDd!!* "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE What is this? What is this? This Bohemoth blazing a trail of fire down the ramp. Full of fury and venom he dives into the ring ready to take on all of Team Leject! Synth is the first to try and stand tall against the big man. His piddly punches do him no good, as Bo grabs onto his neck and throws him over the top rope! “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Logan is shoved into a challenge by Reject, and is promptly punished by a LETHAL spinebuster from the monster. COLE A beast unleashed! That’s what Bo is! TK attempts to interject himself into the slaughter, but is KO’ed by a QUADRUPLE dropkick from Alf, Tyler, Shayne and Alix! COLE Now that’s team work! Leon and Reject wisely bail out the ring before they can fall victim to this hellish rampage. They each back up the entrance ramp, scowling at both Bo and their fallen teammates. COLE Its Bohemoth rounding out Team Alfix and they’re standing tall while Team Leject is lying down beat down! Team Alfix raises each other’s arm, and they celebrate with their newest member the Meterosexual Monster Bohemoth. FADE OUT

The FOTRESS OF NERDLYTUDE is where we find Melody Nerdly. The geek-chic lass is situated inside the family kitchen which has been dolled up to look a little bit like a messy heap of food and candy, and a little bit more like a news set. Just a little bit more. MELODY Howdy, ya'll! Its that time of year again! The time where millions of fanboys and fangirls flock to gamefaqs message board and debate every piddly little detail about the newest OAOAST game....No Homo 2010! CANNED APPLAUSE! MELODY That's right, everyone. No Homo 2010! Be prepared to bitch about Landon's Go 2 Sleep taking to long to execute, Sandman wearing the wrong color sweatpants, Leon not having the 450 splash in his moveset, and Christian Wright's agility being rated way to highly! This game features over 60 OAOAST Stars and legends, including this cowgirl right here! There are over 40 different match combinations, a road to Anglemania career featuring stories for Krista, Moneymaker, PRL, Reject, Morgan, and Bohemoth! Plus we've got create an entrance, create a superstar, create a taunt, and create a storyline for all of us who like writing gay fanfics about D*LUX! Right now lets get to some pictures and profiles! TODD CORTEZ VS THEODORE MONEYMAKER THEODORE MONEYMAKER'S ENTRANCE TODD CORTEZ ABILITIES: Hard Punch, Kip Up Overall: 85 THEODORE MONEYMAKER ABILITIES: Object specialist, dirty pin, referee shield, ring escape, super taunt, move theif Overall: 98 MELODY That's all for today! But we'll have a lot more in these coming weeks! FADE OUT

Backstage, many from the OAOAST roster are seen helping themselves to Thanksgiving fixings provided by the higher-ups, when the Burrough Boys walk into the room, and spot Vinny Valentine. WALDO Vinny mama got one big titty and one little titty, and dey call da bitch Biggie Smalls! VINNY Wow, that was original! I didn't know the OAOAST hired Dave Chappelle! MARIANO Hope y'all left me some candied yams and collar greens! VINNY Well, come here, let me show you what we got. Vinny leads the BBs over to Biff, who is trying to hold back laughter. Vinny raises up the lid on one of the trays. VINNY Right here, we got the turkey. Vinny lifts up another lid. VINNY Some nice ham, real juicy, make sure you try that. And under this one... Vinny lifts up the third lid, and Tony Tourettes pops his head out of a hole in the table and lets out a big roar, causing the BB's to jump about two feet back from the table. Vinny and Biff burst out in laughter. BIFF That was the Tony Surprise! Deadbeat Dave walks up with a small tray of his own. DAVE What about this, guys? I just finished making this cornish hen with chestnut dressing! Vinny, Biff, Tony, and the BB's look at each other, then back at Dave suspiciously. DAVE Would you believe a pigeon stuffed with SPAM? The other continue their stare. DAVE ...would you believe a rat stuffed with cough drops? TONY ...are they cherry-flavored? LUTHER Naw, but this is! Tony then takes a cherry pie to the face from Luther. DAVE Oh, this must be the obligatory Thanksgiving night food fight. VINNY Yeah, this is it. DAVE Count me in! Vinny takes a blueberry pie to the face from Dave. Jumbo holds onto a turkey at the end of a table, while the Burrough Boys each grab one of Tony's limbs, and slide him across the table, with Tony's head going straight into the cavity of the turkey! Dave and Biff cringe upon this sight, then Waldo takes a bite of sweet potato pie before shoving it into Biff's face, and Dave gets a peanut butter pie from Quincy. The madness continues as we go to commercial.

BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the ONE & ONLY WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP! “The World is Mine” by David Guetta hits and Lorelei DeCenzo leads her charges through the curtain flanked by green and gold spotlights. BUFFER Introducing first, the challengers representing THE ENTERPRISE and accompanied by LORELEI DECENZO… at a total combine weight of 430 pounds, COLIN MAGUIRE, JR. and SPENCER REIGER… THE L-D-C MMMOOOONNEYGANG!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Lorelei removes her men’s hoodies and the LDC Moneygang take a moment to laugh at all the little people. COLE (sarcastically) What great champions those guys would make. COACH I know, right? Definitely much better than Team Heyross. Speaking of whom, “Shine” by Collective Soul cues. BUFFER Their opponents and CHAMPIONS… total combined weight 485 pounds… CHARLIE MOSS, QUENTIN BENJAMIN... TEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMM HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Team Heyross pose as red, white and blue pyro blasts in the background. COLE Captains of their Survivor Series team...and not self-appointed like the LDC Moneygang... this Sunday night, Charlie Moss and Quentin Benjamin look to make it 2 in a row. Last week they successfully defended their tag titles, albeit in less than desirable circumstances thanks to the men they face tonight. COACH Are you kidding me? Team Heyross provoked the LDC Moneygang. I mean who had everything to lose and nothing to gain? Team Heyross! So they devised a plan to cause a friction between the LDC Moneygang and Can-Am Assassins in case they got caught in trouble during the match, but it backfired. It only bought their opponents together. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" THE CAN-AM ASSASSINS make a surprise visit ringside taking a seat in the LDCMG corner, much to their surprise. COLE This can’t bode well for Team Heyross. COACH What did I tell you, Cole -- they’re closer than ever. You don’t see that kind of comradely between Team Heyross, Deuce and Jumbo. Strutter gives Reiger a big thumbs up as CMJ and Quentin Benjamin step inside. * DINGDINGDING * Both men circle around before they lockup, only for CMJ to suddenly break and deliver multiple leg strikes. Irish uppercut rocks Benjamin back into the corner where he’s subjected to more. Benjamin turns the tables and CMJ gets a taste of his own medicine. CMJ is then whipped off, but a blind tag is made, so after a hip toss Benjamin is floored by a Spencer Reiger standing dropkick! COACH Nobody delivers a dropkick quite like Spencer Reiger. COLE I’d have to agree with that. It’s very similar to how Ricky Steamboat perfected the arm drag. COACH Only a dropkick hurts a heck of a lot more than an arm drag. Reiger lays the boots to Benjamin, then rams him into the buckle. A series of knife-edge chops follow and so to does a whip to the far corner, but Benjamin floats over the top and SCHOOL BOY‘S Reiger! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Big right hand stuns Reiger and Team Heyross tag. They shoot Reiger in for a double hip toss but hold on to perform a DOUBLE BACK SUPLEX! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Reiger reverses a whip and CMJ nails Moss with a knee to the back! COLE What a cheap shot that was. CMJ receives the tag and unloads on Moss, Irish uppercut after Irish uppercut. Then he goes from more Irish more to another, the Irish whip to be exact, but Moss reverses and delivers an OVERHEAD BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX! Moss smartly tags out in favor of the fresher man, Quentin Benjamin. SPINNING WHEEL KICK connects and Benjamin makes the cover. ONE! TWO! NO! Benjamin moves and Reiger accidentally drops a knee on CMJ! STRUTTER Dropkick sends Reiger flying outside. Benjamin then heads up top as Moss hoists CMJ onto his shoulders. LORELEI COACH Somebody do something! The Can-Am Assassins spring into action. Strutter distracts the ref while KEN PANTERA shoves Benjamin down onto the guardrail below! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Oh, come on! COACH Say what you will, Cole, but nobody can call the Can-Am Assassins liars. They promised to have the LDC Moneygang’s backs and they did just that. "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Lorelei and the Can-Am Assassins retreat to the other side as DEUCE DEUCE BIGELOW and JUMBO arrive ringside. COLE Speaking of having people’s backs, Coach, look who’s here. COACH Obviously we ran out of food, or these guys would still be in catering. Reiger gets the tag and rolls Benjamin back in, hitting a SLINGSHOT DOUBLE STOMP before making the cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Like Benjamin did earlier, Reiger knocks him outside with a dropkick. And like the season pro that he is, Reiger baits Moss in while CMJ works over Benjamin on the arena floor. The ref forced to restrain Moss and the team of Deuce/Jumbo. COACH Before you get on your soapbox about the need for 2 referees for tag matches, let me remind you there will be 2 officials ringside for all Survivor Series matches at November Reiger. CMJ tosses Benjamin back in and Reiger delivers a measured knee drop, then tags out. And CMJ goes right back to work with his patent Irish uppercuts, rocking Benjamin in the corner. HARVARDPLEX plants Benjamin smack in the middle of the ring. The cover. ONE! TWO! THR-- NO, KICKOUT!! CMJ slaps the mat in frustration, then stalks Benjamin. COLE D-Street Cutter on the way? Cole’s guess is correct, but Benjamin shoves CMJ off and hits a desperation SUPERKICK! COACH That one nearly took Colin’s head off, Cole. COLE Team Heyross needed that badly, because CMJ and Reiger were in total control of the match. Moss rallies the crowd behind Benjamin who begins to stir around the same time CMJ does. Fortunately for the champs, the kick dropped CMJ near their corner, meaning he’s got a longer way to go. CMJ gives up his quest for the tag as Benjamin gets there first! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Moss comes in a house afire, whipping CMJ into the ropes for a BAAAAACK body drop, and then catching Reiger on the way in with a dropkick. Following a pair of slams Moss delivers a DOUBLE COCONUT! COLE Lorelei DeCenzo’s men are in real trouble here. Reiger falls to the floor as CMJ stumbles into a BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX! The cover. ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Moss stays right on the offensive and places CMJ in THE MOSSY KNOLL~!!! COLE We could have a submission at any moment. COACH Maybe if Moss was in the hold. There’s no quit in CMJ. Lori hops on the apron for a word with the official, allowing Reiger to sneak in and nail Moss with a pair of BRASS KNUCKS!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Reiger places CMJ on top, then celebrates outside with the Can-Am Assassins. COLE No, damn it! COACH (laughs) We’re gonna have new champions, Cole. Lori jumps down from the apron into the arms of Reiger and the two embrace. Meanwhile, Felix Strutter leaps onto the apron. COACH What the heck? COLE Look up top. We pan to a wide shot as DEUCE DEUCE BIGELOW delivers a TOP ROPE HEADBUTT! COLE Funky Cold Medina! COACH No! Deuce places Moss on top! The count. ONE! TWO! THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * Reiger grabs the tag titles and holds them up in the air…only to have them snatch away by the referee and awarded to Team Heyross. REIGER BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of the match… and STILL your One & Only World Tag Team Champions… CHARLIE MOSS, QUENTIN BENJAMIN... TEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMM HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYRRRRROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" CUE: “Shine” by Collective Soul Reiger is tripped by the ropes as he enters the ring to argue with the official, disbelief on his and Lori’s face. Team Heyross, meanwhile, celebrate with Deuce and Jumbo. COACH This is awful, Cole. COLE I say it’s poetic justice. Reiger turns his anger towards the Can-Am Assassins and receives a shrug from Strutter. COLE We got problems here. COACH No, we don’t. The CAA leave Reiger and company in the ring. COLE What about that? COACH The match is over, idiot. There’s no point in sticking around. Quit trying to start trouble. COLE In any event, Team Heyross once again defended their tag titles. What a team they are and what a treat it will be to see them perform at November Reign. More after this, folks. COMMERCIAL

THE THANKSGIVING WEEKEND TRADITION NOVEMBER REIGN THIS SUNDAY NIGHT LIVE ONLY ON PAY-PER-VIEW Survivor Series Sweet Sixteen Match Cucaracha Internacional (Landon Maddix and Nathaniel Black; James Blonde and Faqu) and All The Queen's Men (Mardi Gras Hellfire Club; Last Kings Of Scotland) vs. Citizen Soldiers, Christ Air Express, Orange County Cobras and Los Diablos De Fuego In two other Survivor Series Matches... Can-Am Assassins & LDC Moneygang vs. Team Heyross, Deuce Deuce Bigelow & Jumbo TEAM ALFIX (Alfdogg, Alix, D*LUX, and ???) vs. TEAM LEJECT (Leon Rodez, Reject, ThunderKid, The Heavenly Rockers) PLUS... Heartland Title extravaganza featuring... Denzel Spencer © Sandman9000 Mr. Dick J-MAX Biff Atlas CPA Bosley Love Doctors Todd Cortez Conquistadores Colombian Heat Vinny Valentine Deadbeat Dave Burrough Boys AND MUCH MORE!

Cut backstage, where TK and Reject are all smiles as they make their way into the arena along with the rest of the DA. They're stopped by Josh Matthews. JOSH Reject, last week you guys joined up with your November Reign partners, the Heavenly Rockers, in a heinous assault on Alix, Alfdogg, and D*LUX. Are you concerned at all about any retribution tonight, and who their fifth partner might be? REJECT Retribution? Who's gonna have the nerve to come get some of this? Reject holds his arms out, referencing the DA as a whole. REJECT Did you see what we did to those four last week? You can add any one individual you want, it won't change the result. TK That's right, Josh, we've got no worries. No matter who they add as their partner, it doesn't matter! We're like a team full of Parker Lewises, 'cause we can't lose. REJECT Exactly. Let's go, guys. Reject and the DA walk off as Josh looks on. LATER TONIGHT TAG TEAM TITLES ON THE LINE TEAM HEYROSS VS THE LDC MONEYGANG TONIGHT MAINEVENT UNITED STATES TITLE ALIX MARIA SPEZIA VS THUNDERKID THE MAINEVENT COMMERCIAL

-OVER 200 COUNTRIES IN 10 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES- -TO MORE THEN TEN MILLION VIEWERS EACH WEEK- -THE OAOAST THE WORLD WIDE LEADER IN PARODY ENTERTAINMENT- We come to the OAOAST Arena Where Michael Cole and Johnathan Coachman sit at a desk decorated with various Thanksgiving props such as faux turkeys, corn crops, ,cornucopias, stuffing, sweet bread, and that cranberry crap I HATE. COLE Welcome one and all to the Thanksgiving HeldDOWN~! Its a special time here at the OAOAST, and we wish you and your's a happy Holiday season. Michael Cole joined with Johnathan Coachman just days before November Reign. We've got a Thanksgiving treat for you with two title matches! The tag team titles are on the line when Team Heyross meets with the LDC Moneygang, and we have a United States title contest in the mainevent, Alix against ThunderKid. But we kick things off with Christian Wright! "Clean shirt, new shoes and I don't know what I am gonna do. Silk suit, black tie, I don't need a reason why. They come runnin' just as fast as they can cause every girl is crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man." The crowd is certainly not thankful to see Christian Wright and let him know it as he appears on stage. He simply adjusts his collared white shirt, and frowns at the fans. Patting his trusted breifcase, he's joined by Lorelei DeCenzo. She hooks his arm and guides him down the entrance ramp. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a time limit of twenty minutes, now making his way to the ring accompanied by Lorelei DeCenzo....Now residing in Washington D.C... weighing in at approximately 8 and 1/3 BARS OF GOLD~! He represents THE ENTERPRISE and is "THE NATURAL"... CCHHRRRIIIIISSSTTIIIIIIAAAAANN... WWRRRIIIIIIIIIIGGHHHHTT!!!!! The announcement of Wright's name draws out more boos, as the man himself poses with arms wide on the ring apron. Lorelei stands to his side on the ring mat, applauding her charge and chastising anyone who doesn't do so. COACH Mikey, there's a man with a lot to be thankful for this holiday. He could finish out the year on an amazing unbeaten streak. BUFFER And his opponent... Makes Me Wonder plays and its groovy beats are joined by the choatic scream of girls across the ring. Sliding out onto stage in black denim jean jacket and shorts is Shayne Brave. He's joined by Maya Duncan-Blanchard, and the two do their part to fire up the already rowdy audience. BUFFER From Detroit, Michigan, being accompanied by Maya Duncan-Blanchard, weighing one hundred eighty three pounds, he is SHOWTIME SHAYNE BRAAAAAAAAAVE! "YEAAAAAAAAA!" Inside the ring, Shayne Brave walks from edge to edge, pointing at the crowd and getting them to cheer louder and louder. On the outside, Maya helps to continue to pump up the capacity crowd. COLE Shayne Brave has quite the test for him heading into November Reign. Let's see if he passes against the so called God Child. COACH The Centennial Man, the god child. The Natural! DING DING DING Wright employs and unusual strategy; he charges across the ring and spears Brave into the corner posts. Still taken by surprise, Brave is unable to halt Wright’s shoulders from savaging his thin midsection. After several blows land, The Natural ends the attack and attempts to whip Brave across the ring. But the boybander reveres the hold and its Wright who’s sent crashing into the ring posts. The Natural stumbles forward, wheezing from his lost breath. Brave gaves him little time to recover as he leaps forward and strikes down The Centennial Man with a leg lariat. “YEAH-UH!” Brave shouts to the sold out audience They respond, “LET’S GO SHAYNE! LET’S GO SHAYNE!” Pumped up by the audience, Brave makes a quick dash to the ropes. As he hits the cables, Wright finds his footing once more. This allows him to lift Brave into the air and violently slam him through the canvas with a Wright Off. Thrilled with his signature attack, Wright struts about the ring, holing his arms high into the sky. “CHRISTIAN SUCKS! CHRISTIAN SUCKS! CHRISTIAN SUCKS!” “SILENCE!” Wright bellows as he begins bringing Brave back to his feet. An irish whip sends Brave into the corner, and a leaping lariat timbers him to the canavs. Smirking in satisfaction, Wright exits the ring in order to grab hold of Brave’s leg. Ignoring the referee’s pleas for mercy, Wright happily slams Brave’s knee into the metal ring posts. COLE An unnecessary attack by Christian Wright. That should be a DQ. Wright contiues his poor sportsmanship when he rams a loafer into his foe’s head. While the referee checks for blood on Brave’s forehead, Wright reenters the ring. Unwelcome by the referee and the fans, Wright stalks a crawling Brave. Once he reaches him, he grabs onto the back of his denim jeans, and roughly yanks him upright. The Centennial Man wraps his arms around Shayne’s small waist, and then lefts him into the air. He delivers incredible pain to the cute boybander by ramming his knee into the ring posts. Shayne falls to the ground, leaving him defenseless in the stomps that Wright delivers to his knees. Quickly growing bored of stomping the life out his foe, Wright pulls him upright into a front facelock. But Shayne shows incredible resiliency, by hammering at CW’s ribs with powerful fists. This earns him his freedom, but no offense as Wright recovers to drop him with a dropkick to the knee. “I AM THE CENTENNIAL MAN!” Wright boasts to booing fans. COACH After this match, Mikey, its only 95 more wins to 100. COLE In honor of Thanksgiving, I'll be thankful for when he finally reaches that mark and just shuts up! Wright runs the ropes, and returns to drop an elbow onto Brave’s knees. Brave screams in pain, a sound that only puts a smile on Wright’s face. He then brings Brave off the canavs and irish whips him into the cables. When the teen idol returns, Wright flips him over with a snap powerslam. The cover ensues…. ONE! TWO! Brave fights out! Wright attempts a second pinfall… ONE! TWO! Kickout! And a third pinfall… ONE! TWO! Kickout! The frustration is written clear across Wright’s face as he brings his younger opponent to a standing position. He throws him into the cables once more, and when Brave returns he’s thrown several feet by a belly to belly suplex! COLE What a show of power from Christian Wright! COACH See, now even you’re impressed by The Centennial Man. Wright hollers at Brave to rise. Although slowly, Brave comes off the canvas. He’s immediately struck by a mixture of kicks to his sore knee and European uppercuts. This should spell doom for Brave, but the handsome fighter begins taking aim at CW with powerful right hands! The fans root him on, as he leaves a dazed Wright to head to the ropes. Coming back to The Natural, Brave springs forward with a cross body block and topples Wright over! A count is made… ONE! TWO! Wright narrowly escapes the pinfall! He quickly springs to his feet, making a hurried attempt to regain the upperhand. But Brave counters him with a gorgeous sitout hip toss! “SHAYNE’S A HOTTIE! SHAYNE’S A HOTTIE!” the girls in the arena chant. Although dazed Wright comes back to his feet under his own power. But he’s once again thrown to the canvas thanks to a hurricanrana from Shayne! The referee counts the resulting pinfall… ONE! TWO! Wright kicksout once more, which earns relieved sighs from Lorelei. “BOOOOOOOOOO!” Both competitors return to their vertical bases. Shayne attempts to draw first blood with a spinning back fist. But Wright ducks bellow the move and attempts to move behind Shayne. But that effort meets horrible agony as Shayne tags his jaw with a deadly superkick! COLE He got him there, Coach! Showtime strikes again! As the fans explode with delight, Shayne makes another pinfall effort…. ONE! TWO! Wright gets his foot on the ropes, deflating the capacity crowd. COLE The OAOAST Marks thought the winning streak was snapped at five, but CW remains alive. Brave starts to pull Wright towards a vertical base. However a desperate CW resorts to cheap shots and slams his fist into Shayne’s unmentionables! “BOOOOOOO!” the audience hisses, while an exhausted Wright stumbles backwards. Strangley enough he begins motioning towards the entrance ramp. COLE Is he signaling for someone? The Moneygang! “BOOOOOOO!” the jeers aren’t for The Moneygang but rather for The Heavenly Rockers, who begin rushing to ringside. COLE Now this isn’t right! This violates the holiday spirit! Its akin to rape! They're raping Thanksgiving! Lorelei welcomes The Enterprise’s favorite band with a warm applause. Shayne, however, isn’t so pleased and is forced to keep an eye on the duo as he trades punches with CW. “TONE DEAF BASTARDS! TONE DEAF BASTARDS! TONE DEAF BASTARDS!” the audience sings to The Rockers. Wright throws Shayne into the ropes and charges after him to stun him with a lariat. But the teen scream jumps forward and takes Wright on a dizzying ride with a tornado DDT! COLE VINTAGE Shayne Brave “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA!” Brave kips up, only to see Logan distracting the referee with one of his famous temper tantrums. Behind him, Shayne fails to notice that Synth has passed Wright a pair of drumsticks.. The Natural does well to conceal them, and they remain hidden as Shayne turns around to focus back on Wright. But all that changes, when Wright jumps up and jams them into Brave’s eyes! COLE No! No, he can’t do that!” “He just did!” Lorelei chuckles in response. The Natural wraps Shayne up in a school boy. Mann now lets the referee go free, and he returns to count the pin…. ONE! TWO! THREE! “BOOOOOOOOOOO!” the fans rain down jeers, as The Rockers smile to each other over their misdeeds. BUFFER YOUR WINNER AS A RESULT OF A PINFALL….CHRISTIAN WRIGHT! Lorelei beams with the smile of a proud parent as she enters the ring and passes the micophone to CW. WRIGHT From this day forth, I defiantely vow... no man, woman nor beast shall commit thine self to defeat! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH The Centennial Man comes through! Alright! Only 93 more victories to go! COLE 93 more tainted victories, you mean. Wright has to be pretty thankful for The Heavenly Rockers this turkey day.

OAOAST Syndicated! With JESSE VENTURA TONY SCHIAVONE LEAD CORESPONDENT TONY BRANNIGAN SIDEKICK MAYA DUNCAN-BLANCHARD AND HOST ALIX MARIA SPEZIA Brought to you by American Express Alix kicked off the show with her monolouge, some highlights: "So recently the city of Los Angeles has jailed a guy for using his house as a place for homeless people to seek shelter. In other news its been announced that LA will now be going by the name "Home of the most evil bastards on earth." "In other news Michael Jackson's doctor seeing patients despite investigation of homocide, these patients have a very rare disease called "are you idiots fucking stupid-itis, a disease who's earliest known case is George W.Bush" Tony Brannigan conducted a podium interview with the Can-Am Assassins, who chewed out the LDC Moneygang for interfering in their recent tag title bout against Team Heyross. This prompted a response by the LDC Moneygang, with Spencer Reiger claiming his emotions got the better of him as he could no longer sit and watch Team Heyross “cheat like politicians on their wives. Our good intentions resulted in bad consequences, but we kept out word…we had your backs.” After a moment of silence Strutter looked the LDC Moneygang in the eyes and stated, “That’s deep, man. It hit me right there, in the heart. And you’re right, you had our backs. You supported us in an arena full of haters that night. Ken and I would like to return the favor this coming week as you guys go for the gold on HeldDOWN~! Put ’er there, homie.” The segment closed with Strutter giving Reiger a fist bump, and Reiger looking into the camera to say, "BTW, we're the team captains. ***ThunderKid Vs Tyler Bryant**** Tyler got the better of the early exchanges with kicks and some well placed slams. TK fought his way back into the match using elbows and well placed strikes. He then took over the contest, pummeling Tyler with powerful blows. But a missed lariat, spelled doom as it allowed Tyler to get back on the offense. Things were evenly matched at that point, until Tyler reversed a pinfall into a hurricanrana for a surprise pinfall! Winner: Tyler Bryant, via pinfall. Post match did not fare so well for Tyler Bryant, as TK became a sore loser and nailed the D*LUX member with a Thunderbolt DDT! Gotta keep that heat, my nigs. THIS WEEK ON A SPECIAL THANKSGIVING HeldDOWN~! TAG TEAM TITLES: TEAM HEYROSS VS LDC MONEYGANG US TITLE: ALIX MARIA SPEZIA VS THUNDERKID THURSDAY! We cut inside an empty roller skating rink, where Josh Matthews is sitting on a bench with Denzel Spencer. Josh asks Denzel to explain the upcoming match at November Reign for the fans, and Denzel explains that the match is called a "Skate or Die" match, and the match would take place inside this roll arena, with all participants competing while wearing roller skates. He explains as he skates alongside Josh on the rink that the match will last 20 minutes, with pins counting throughout, and the last combatant to score a pin will walk out the champion. So just like the Sunday Detention match from 2006, except it's in a roller rink on roller skates. The OAOAST Quote of the Week A new feature to the show aired titled "Eat like the Superstars," where OAOAST talent share their favorite receipes. This week it was how to cook a delicious turkey dinner with Mr. Dick and Malaysia. "Now, the first thing you gotta do is buy a turkey. Unlike pleasing a woman, size doesn't matter so any bird will do. Next you wanna get your turkey injector and marinate that sumbitch with special flavor." With that Mr. Dick dropped trou and reimagined the famous pie scene from American Pie. "Hey, you can't do that. You're gonna get us thrown off the air!" a producer shouted. The show's logo appeared on-screen as the director immediately cut away, though audio of Mr. Dick pounding the turkey could still be heard. "MMM-MMM, UNH! Once finished pop that bird in the oven, set it to about 325° and in a few hours you'll have one delicious turkey." ***Megan Skye and Queen Esther -VS- Melody Nerdly and Molly Nerdly*** Queen Esther came to the ring decked out in her luxurious velvet tracksuit, ready to fight. If she really had to. So long as she didn't have to, she was perfectly fine with standing on the outside and observing. So Megan contested virtually the entire match by herself against both of the nerdiest Nerdly sisters. Megan held her own fairly well, using her kickboxing background to fend off her opponents. After cutting off Molly, Megan eventually got confident enough to tag in Esther. The Queen delivered a grand total of two stomps before tagging back out and soaking in the feeling of being in battle. Way to go. Megan could only hold of Molly for so long before she escaped and tagged in Melody. A big "wacky comeback" from Melody was stopped by a roundhouse to the back of the head. However, Megan set up for the Tornado DDT and was countered, Melody hitting the SHORYUKEN~! Queen Esther reached up and tagged herself in, trying to surprise Melody with a rollup. She only scored two and was then in trouble. 'Surrounded', Esther turned away from Molly and was pinned, after ONE Melody Tomahawk Chop to the head renderred her powerless to kickout. Needless to say, Megan didn't look too impressed. Winners: Melody Nerdly and Molly Nerdly, via pinfall No sympathy from her partner, Queen Esther wailed in pain and had to be helped to the back, such was the DOOM she had just suffered.

In the mainevent.....US TITLE: ALIX MARIA SPEZIA VS THUNDERKID

Lemme get all the old shows posted there first, and then I think we should start our move. Man, we gotta turn off flood control at that board its fucking up my show posting!

Christian Wright Vs Shayne Brave!

I wanted a Midwest-sounding name for when Alf won it for the first time (to go along the lines of Puerto Rican/Italian title). I was deciding between Heartland, Great Lakes, and another one, maybe Midwest States or something like that. I consulted Hoff on it, and we both agreed on Heartland. It's just stuck since then. Finally! An explanation after all these years! Gateway to the west title, would've been cool to for those STL cats. I totally forgot the belt was once named the Puerto Rican title, and I only slightly remember the Italian title oh yeah, an NR match TEAM ALFIX (Alfdogg, Alix, D*LUX, and ???) -Vs- TEAM LEJECT (Leon Rodez, Reject, ThunderKid, The Heavenly Rockers,)

Eh, that's not a big deal. Morgan is only 19 years old herself. She's a teenager to!

That's a Tuesday by the way. What will it be, children?

Soooooooo what's poppin ppl?

Only missing some stuff from Alf, and we're golden

ALIX AND ALF VS REJECT AND TK

Backstage near the always popular catering table, Josh Matthews stands with the beautiful but dangerous MORGAN NERDLY JOSH J-Math, standing beside women’s champion Morgan Nerdly. Earlier tonight, your, um, companion, Leon Rodez, hastily named his November Reign team, but what I’d like to know is who you’ve selected for your team. MORGAN I don’t really know. JOSH Surely you have some idea of who you want on your team. Someone brave, and strong, and handsome, like myself. MORGAN Everyone’s either a stranger, who thinks I’m some kind of freak, and anyone who isn’t is my sister and they already know I am a freak. People don’t wanna team with me, Josh. I bet they’d sooner team with Charles Mansion. JOSH That might not be so true. You just have to open up to them. Let your inner child flow, girlfriend! MORGAN I could open up to them, and all they’d see is a black black heart. I don’t have many friends. And the ones I do have are just voices in my head. Its better off if I go it alone. JOSH They won’t allow that! Five on one? No one will approve of that. MORGAN Josie Baker hates me. If she could get away with it, she’d have snipers camping outside my front door. Anything that gets rid of me. I guess. I’m not wanted, Josh. I’m just wanted gone. But I’m not afraid of getting hurt, or nothing. I’ve done…things to my body, that could shock the most hardened of mental health doctors. Anything Holly can do to me, would be a stroll down the yellow brick road. MAYA (OS) Jade’ll help you! Morgan and Josh turn around to find… JADE RODEZ-DUNCAN AND MAYA DUNCAN-BLANCHARD Stuffing their faces with donuts. Mom would not approve. JADE (talking with mouth full and crumbs spilling out her lips) Mmmmfffffmmffffff! Mmmmmmmffff! MAYA Good god, Jade! That is why you’ll never have a husband. Jade swallows hard and shoots a tough glare at Maya. JADE Not true. I had Bo as a boyfriend, and I dumped him by the way. MAYA What a wonderful wild fantasy land it must be where that’s true! Morgan, now listen, I’ve got you a three time women’s champion! Three times! JADE Mmmfffffmmfffff…Its only one time. Mmmmmmfffff MAYA Jade, its pro wrestling, there are only three guarantees; it’ll be homoerotic, it will unfailingly promote ethnic stereotypes, and it will lie to and possibly destroy its own fanbase. Morgan she's all your's. Have a blast! MORGAN Why are you being nice to me? MAYA You’re blond, good looking and depressive. You’re my mother! And get this, I hacked into the Human Resources computer to change Jade’s pay to an apple and a billy goat, and I read your file. You played ice hockey on men’s teams and wrestled on the men’s team in high school, and that was just a year ago. You’ve got a lot of guts, even if you don’t think so! I’m challenging you to be something more than Leon Rodez abused lap dog! Maya hands a perplexed Morgan a cupcake. Elsewhere, The Heavenly Rockers and Holly are conversing backstage, when they hear a knock on their door. SYNTH Who is it? The door opens, and the Deadly Alliance enters the room. REJECT What's up, guys? Looks like we're gonna be partners. LOGAN Yeah, man, I can't believe Leon would pick you to be his partner! After the past you guys have? REJECT Yeah, I know. I guess he figures since he's not getting a shot at my title, according to Josie, he may as well get on my good side. Which is why I came down here. I've got a little "team activity" for us. Everybody huddle up. Everyone in the room huddles up and discusses their plan. COMMERCIAL