King Cucaracha

Very minor stats update made. Very minor. Honest.

The first big mainstream boom was WrestleMania in 1985. Then, NWO in 1996. So it stands to reason that the boom will happen in 2007, right? Right?

Team Name: The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew Name: Rico de Janeiro Nickname: The King Of The Mardi Gras Age: 30 Height: 5'11 Weight: 225lbs Hometown: Rio de Janeiro Alignment (heel, face, tweener): Heel Stable affiliation (if any): The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew with teammate Lucius Soul Wrestling style (brawler, cruiserweight, technical, all-rounder, etc.): 1980s Brawler, low risk and power based Singles Theme Music: "Rio", Duran Duran Tag Team Theme Music: "Easy Lover", Phil Collins Entrance Style (what color pyro, spotlights, etc.): Swaggers out, only stopping to stroke the moustache. And then swaggers some more. You get the picture. Entrance attire (sunglasses, robe, jacket, etc): Hawaiian shirt, sunglasses, Mardi Gras beads. Ring attire: White tights with the Brazilian flag on the BUTT, 'RICO' spelled out through the middle. One green kneepad and elbowpad, one yellow. White boots, again with the Brazilian flag on the side. Green and yellow wristtape. Finishing Move(s) (try to keep it to 1 or 2): Moustache Ride- Razor's Edge, preceeded by his catchphrase Rico Vice- Anaconda Vice Signature Moves: The Body Lock- Canadian Backbreaker, Jesse Ventura style. Can go from here to the Moustache Ride, but mainly a wear-down hold. Back Superplex Gutwrench Suplex Shoulderbreaker Running High Knee, Harley Race style Porno 'Stache Legdrop (strokes down the moustache before dropping the leg, keeping it there for the pin) Basic moveset: 80s brawling mainly. Catchphrases/Trademark gestures: "Who wants a moustache ride?" "Rico don't swing that way, baby." Stroking his porn stache History/Background/Career Highlights: Born in Brazil to mixed-race parents, Rico quickly gained the reputation of 'ladies man' in his home village, mainly due to the influence of his love of old 70s and 80s American TV shows. Through these shows, Rico learnt to speak two languages- English and Love. And it's those languages, as well as his smooth accent, dashing moustache and love of the party lifestyle that gets him the ladies. Oh yeah, and he can wrestle and stuff. Rico has 'paid his dues', but after a handful of appearances on OAOAST television as 'enhancement talent', Rico got sick of incompetent partners and the jobber stigma and found a partner that could help him achieve success in the OAOAST. Name: "Sweet" Lucius Soul Age: 25 Height: 6'2 Weight: 188lbs Hometown: New Orleans, LA Alignment (heel, face, tweener): Heel Stable affiliation (if any): The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew with teammate Rico de Janeiro Wrestling style (brawler, cruiserweight, technical, all-rounder, etc.): Agile striker Singles Theme Music: "Jive Soul Bro" Tag Team Theme Music: "Easy Lover", Phil Collins Entrance Style (what color pyro, spotlights, etc.): Struts out and walks to the ring with groove in his step. Maybe some fro combing, might stop to talk some jive. Again, you get the picture I'm sure. Entrance attire (sunglasses, robe, jacket, etc): 'Fro pick(s), beige waistcoat Ring attire: Beige pants, black belt. Black elbowpads, taped wrists and fists. Black boots with white kickpads over top. Finishing Move(s) (try to keep it to 1 or 2): Fro 2 Sleep- KENTA's Go 2 Sleep. Fireman's Carry into a knee strike Signature Moves: Welcome to Nawlins- Butterfly Backbreaker Soul Brother Splash- 360 Stinger Splash No Hands Somersault Plancha Swinging DDT The Pounce Corner Yakuza Kick Bicycle Kick Basic moveset: A little bit of everything really. Likes his kicks and not afraid to fly. Catchphrases/Trademark gestures: "Watch the 'fro, bro" The sleep taunt (hands against ear, Beefcake style) when going for the finish. 'Fro combing Jive talking (without going too OTT) He can dance too. Yay for stereotypes in wrestling! History/Background/Career Highlights: Lucius grew up as the youngest of seven children in New Orleans. To help make ends meet at home, Lucius used his natural charisma and style to carve out a living in the more shady streets of Nawlins. But street-life eventually became unfulfilling and Soul strove to make a (slightly) more honourable living in wrestling. His agility and charisma shone through, but it wasn't until he was spotted by Rico de Janeiro that he got his break. The duo's shared love of party and the ladies, plus some slightly outdated fashion senses and hairstyles, helped them strike up an instant partnership and a formidable tag team. AS A TEAM: Team Finishing Move(s): Coup de Mardi Gras- Rico lifts for a suplex and Soul catches the opponent on the way over. A quick pause follows, before they hit a combined sitout powerbomb/neckbreaker. Team Signature Moves: Hairraising Experience- Back Suplex/Neckbreaker Combo High Knee/Chopblock Combo Spike Piledriver Slingshot by Rico into a Bicycle Kick from Soul Double Elbow, followed by an Assisted Standing Moonsault by Soul

That's what I like about Meltzer, he's so unbiased. The quote in the article: No mention of Russo's booking quality is made in the section of the article that talks about Heyman and TNA. Meltzer just says that with Russo having only just been brought in it's unlikely he'll be removed anytime soon and then mentions the numbers falling as what it would take before Russo is removed. Ah, I assumed what was posted was the actual article. n/m Yeah, I guess it wouldn't have worked coming back after the suspension (which re-reading the article is when it was shot down). Now Show's gone though, if it's still being shot down then I don't know why. From a WWE perspective rather than an 'ECW' perspective, turning Lashley heel would have been a dumb move. I don't see him having the charisma to carry a heel role, with or without Heyman as manager. Turning him heel before the trip to Iraq would have been an insane move. Where-as RVD has needed a freshening of character for 2 or 3 years and I still think they missed the boat when they turned The Dudleys on him. The sooner they turn RVD now, the better.

[b]This New Year's Day, there won't be a GM in control...[/b] [i]COLE AXEL SLAM! AXEL SLAM![/i] [b]...no authority figure in control...[/b] [i]IT'S ANGLESAULT~?!?!??! ANGLESAULT IS HERE ON HELDDOWN~![/i] [b]...no recently divorced pseudo celebrities in control...[/b] [i]**THIS ANNECDOTE REMOVED FOR LEGAL REASONS**[/i] [b]...because, this New Year... [COLOR=red]ANGLE[/COLOR][COLOR=blue]SAULT[/COLOR] YOU'RE gonna be in control! It's the first ever, completely interactive event in OAOAST history, where YOU decide the challengers, the challenges and the stipulations! [COLOR=red]ANGLE[/COLOR][COLOR=blue]SAULT[/COLOR] All with the power of your interweb machines! [COLOR=purple]*NEW YEAR'S SPECTACULAR: MAINFRAME MONDAY!*[/COLOR] [i]January 1st, 2007; Daytona Beach, Florida[/b][/i] COLE Mainframe Monday coming up on January 1st and you, the OAOAST fans, can vote on what YOU want to see from this coming Monday night. Just added to the card this past week, the OAOAST World Tag Team Championships will be up for grabs as six teams challenge for the belts. The current Champions, The Sooner Bruisers, must contend with The Heavenly Rockers, The Beverly Hills Blonds, The Love Doctors, Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright and finally, Rescue 911. COACH Who? COLE You'll have three choices. It'll either be a traditional Over The Top Rope Battle Royal, a Tag Team Turmoil Match or a Triple Chance Battle Royal with over the top elimination and a singles match between the final two teams. What odds must The Sooners defy? You decide in four days time. COACH Will I have my laptop by then? COLE Never you mind Coach. You know what happened to that kid who swiped his Christmas present early. COACH My mom would never do shop me. I'm the apple of her eye! COLE Sure. On a lighter note and speaking of the tag division as we were, until you started whining about that damn laptop again, up next the OAOAST's newest tag team debuts. The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew as they've christened themselves, with Rico de Janeiro at the helm. We've seen Rico a handful of times on HeldDOWN~! and he's been unsuccessful to say the least, against Theodore Moneymaker and then in tag action against D*LUX twice. He blames a lack of experience and then a series of subpar partners. But Rico now has the experience of the bright lights and TV cameras and now, a handpicked partner, Lucius Soul who's been gaining a reputation in OAOVW and was weeks away from a tryout on OAOAST events. Until that is Rico offered him an immediate route onto the big show and understandably he struck a deal. COACH Finally Rico has a partner who he can get along with. A man with talent. A man with an eye for the ladies. A man with the Mardi Gras spirit in his heart. COLE A man with outdated hairstyling techniques? COACH Hey! The fro'll never go out of style. "Easy lover She'll get a hold on you believe it Like no other Before you know it you'll be on your knees" As the soothing sounds of "Easy Lover" by Phil Collins play through the arena, those with decent memories react for the entrance of the tag division's newest combo! Not new to the fans is Rico de Janeiro, swaggering through the curtains wearing a bright (and I mean bright) orange Hawaiian shirt and a large collection of Mardi Gras beads around his neck. Rico stops and strokes down his porn 'stache, before swaggering on. Meanwhile, his newfound tag team partner appears through the sliding doors, busily combing his afro as he struts down the aisle. "She's an easy lover She'll take your heart but you won't feel it She's like no other And I'm just trying to make you see" At the bottom of the ramp Soul stops to run down the fans a little, smirking away the whole time and happy to be on the big show. Meanwhile, Rico swaggers up the ring steps and strokes his porn 'stache in the direction of two screaming Wisconsin hotties, before entering the ring. BUFFER The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, at a total combined weight of four hundred, ten pounds... the team of RICO DE JANEIRO and "SWEET" LUCIUS SOUL... they are, THE MARDI GRAS HOMEWRECKING CREWii "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Man, these two guys just ooze charisma! COLE Is that what it is? They look pretty sleazy to me, but maybe I've watched one too many 80s detective shows and developed some stereotypes. COACH You're in the right business if you have. As Lucius joins his partner in the ring, Gavin Rossdale's "Adrenaline" now hits and the walking merchandise stand that is Flex Phillips leads the way for the nutritional gurus, proudly wearing his NRG track jacket. Flex takes a swig from his NRG "Winter Berry and Pomegranate NRG Drink" bottle as everyone's favourite human puppydog Biff Atlas follows behind, soaking up the cheers from the adoring crowd. BUFFER And their opponents! Total combined weight five hundred, fifteen pounds, the team of BIFF ATLAS and FLEX PHILLIPS... NUTRITION'S REAL GURUS... N... R...G!!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" "BIFF!" "BIFF!" "BIFF!" "BIFF!" Fueling the chants, Biff pumps his fist to the beat. Flex is a little less co-operative, possibly because the crowd aren't chanting his name, possibly because he's busy jawing back and forth with Soul. Into the ring climbs the bigman and The MGHWC understandably duck out to the apron encouraging calm, as Biff continues to play to the people. COLE And would you listen to the reaction for Biff Atlas! He's really endeared himself to the OAOAST fans in recent months, the people have taken him in as one of their own and to be honest, I can't figure out when or why it happened. But it has. COACH Like the blind leading the blind. The mentally blind at least. The MGHWC continue to stall for time on the apron as NRG are ready to go. And they're not wasting time (there's a triple main event to get to after all), Flex catching Rico unawares, yanking the top rope and bringing him in the hard way~! *DINGDINGDING!* Rico rolls back to his seat and tries to beg off, shuffling across the ring trying to calm Flex down. There's no reprieve coming though and Flex hauls Rico up, nailing him with a big forearm that sends Rico staggering back into a neutral corner! Another forearm! And a third, before Flex tears the gaudy Hawaiian shirt from de Janeiro's back and wraps it around his throat! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Oh, Rico is in trouble! Flex Phillips, trying to choke the moustache right off his lips! COACH That doesn't even make any sense! With the shirt still wrapped around the throat, Flex beils Rico out of the corner and into the centre of the ring HARD! Rico again tries to beg off as Flex does as his name would dictate, flexing his muscles. That buys Rico time to scramble back to his feet and rush the posing bodybuilder, but Flex sidesteps and guides Rico sternum first into the turnbuckles behind him. Out bounces the Brazilian, into a right hand. Another. Another. Another. And yet another. Somehow Rico is still standing after this onslaught, albeit with a noticeable wobble, so Flex takes him behind the head, running him headfirst into the turnbuckles. With a wrench of the arm Flex then sends Rico coast to coast into the opposite corner, the force bouncing Rico back out... ...into a GORILLA PRESS... ...and a slam, which causes Soul to freak out in Mardi Gras territory! COACH Woah! COLE New partner or not, Rico de Janeiro doesn't seem to have had a change of luck thus far. Despite the huge slam, Rico seems more concerned with his moustache as he climbs back to his feet, stroking it down with his free hand, the other pinned to his lower back. Around he turns and Flex is waiting, mowing The King Of The Mardi Gras with a clothesline before making the tag to Biff Atlas! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" Biff balls up the fists and the crowd know what's coming! Unfortunately for Rico he doesn't, barely knowing where he is by now as he turns right into a heavy haymaker! "BIFF!" Another right hand follows... "BIFF!" ...and another... "BIFF!" ...before Biff loads the Brazilian into the ropes with an irish whip. Soul tries to make a blind tag but the tagrope simply won't stretch far enough, leaving him to watch on in despair as Rico goes soaring courtesy of a HIGH backbody drop from Atlas! In shock, Rico sits up, but Biff shoves him back down and makes the pin... 1... 2... Kickout. Up pops Rico looking for the tag. Biff quickly grabs him by the head though, dragging Rico back to his feet and sending him for the ride again. But naïvely Biff ducks his head looking for another backdrop. And this time Rico is well prepped for the move, managing to lunge forward and drop an elbow across the back of the head to counter! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" From the corner Flex tries to encourage Biff to 'shake it off'. Which he has no chance to, as Rico pulls him to his feet in a front facelock and drags him to the corner, allowing "Sweet" Lucius Soul to tag in. COLE Well, our first look at Lucius, let's see what the fuss is about. In glides Lucius and he lands a quick kick to the exposed gut of Biff before taking the chance to taunt Flex, luring the hotheaded bodybuilder into the ring. That allows him to place Biff in the corner and let Rico do some dirtywork with the tag rope around the throat, some more smack talk keeping Flex in and the referee distracted. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Looks like the tables have turned Mikey. COLE Thanks to the illegal use of that tag rope. COACH Yeah, sure. But the fact is Lucius came in and immediately turned the match into his team's favour. None of Rico's other partners got that far. Finally referee Charles Robinson manages to convince Flex to go back to the corner. By now though Rico has abandoned the tag rope, walking down the apron stroking his porn 'stache in innocence, Lucius taking over on Biff with stomps in the corner. Stomp after stomp finds the well chiseled frame of Biff until he's pushed up against the bottom turnbuckle. At which point Soul SLAMS the flat of his boot into the face and mugs for the crowd, who haven't taken to the New Orleans native. "BIFF!" "BIFF!" "BIFF!" "BIFF!" Lucius pulls Biff out of the corner and tags Rico back in. A double whip by The MGHWC sends Biff into the ropes and Lucius drops down in the centre of the ring, forcing Biff to go up and over... into a Harley Race style High Knee from Rico! The new partners high-five, before Rico follows up with the pin... 1... 2... Kickout. Unhappy with the count, Rico encourages to referee Charles Robinson to 'speed it up, baby' as he climbs back up. Drawing on the crowd and his partner's encouragement, up climbs Biff, fists shaking. A clubbing forearm over the back doesn't seem to stop him for too long. Another forearm over the back puts him down to one knee again, but still Biff is fighting. So Rico hits the ropes in front and charges back with a firm stance, thundering the elbow hard into the sternum. The wind goes rushing out of Biff's lungs and although he doesn't go down immediately, he does drop to his knees after a couple of seconds, sucking wind. COACH Man, you could hear the contact all around the arena there. Rico, showing the form that propelled him to the position of Nose Tackle at Rio de Janeiro University! COLE What!? There's no such thing... and where did you get that cowboy hat!? COACH Props department. A lucky fan gets a black Resistol to remember the night by as Michael Cole sends it flying into the crowd. Meanwhile back in the ring, another exchange is made by The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew. Up to the top goes Lucius as Rico holds Biff in place by the arms, leaving him wide-open for a fist delivered down across Biff's bald head. A little juking and jiving follows, Lucius feeling good about life right about now. Biff tries to shake off the cobwebs as Lucius closes in and hits another right hand. Without the added height they don't seem to have the same effect, so Lucius instead lands a roundhouse kick to the chest. And a second, Biff now softened up enough to go back to the right hands. With Biff up against the ropes, Soul now looks to shoot him off with an irish whip. It's reversed by the pocket powerhouse, but as Biff's attentions turn to reaching his corner and a tag he forgets all about Lucius, who soars back with a (briefly) gravity defying Flying Clothesline! Cover is made... 1... 2... And Flex makes the save! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" SOUL C'mon, get that sucka outta here! Flex is sent back to the corner, while another tag is made on the other side. In swaggers Rico, driving a double sledge across the fallen Atlas before taking issue with Flex Phillips. The bigman restrains himself and warns Rico he'll pay later, but Rico seems distinctly unconcerned as he greets Biff climbing up with a knee to the gut. Rico now backs Biff into a neutral corner, landing the forearm to the sternum again. And with Biff winded, the Brazilian climbs the ropes, that cocky Latino smirk on his hairy lipped face as he pins the bald head back... ...and lands a big right. And another. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Obviously the crowd aren't counting along, but if they were they'd be up to three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. And... ...Rico stops, stroking down the porn 'stache... ...allowing Biff to counter, lifting Rico off the ropes and carrying him into the centre of the ring, before planting the horrified Latino ladies man with an Inverted Atomic Drop! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" COLE Rico a little too pre-occupied with the moustache and it cost him! A dumb move if I ever saw one. COACH He's proud of his appearance, that's all. If you could grow a moustache you'd understand! Left hurting downstairs, the 'stache is the least of Rico's worries now and he looks to buy some recovery time with a tag to Lucius Soul. In rushes Lucius, looking to catch Biff off guard with a clothesline. But Biff sees it coming and ducks underneath, Soul managing to put on the brakes just short of Flex in the corner. His joy is short lived however, because Biff is waiting on him. Right hand. "BIFF!" Right. "BIFF!" Right. "BIFF!" Right. "BIFF!" Right. "BIFF!" Right. "BIFF!" Right. "BIFF!" Right. "BIFF!" Right. "BIFF!" ...with Lucius rocking and reeling, Biff wiiiiiinds up... "WOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH..." ...and lands the BIG final haymaker, dropping Lucius in one! "BIFF!" COLE Biff succeeded where Rico failed, completing the series of 10! That offensive burst took all the energy Biff had at his immediate disposal though and he drops to one knee, to the frustration of Flex Phillips who is desperate for the tag. The crowd get behind Biff as he glances up, looking for the corner and making the slow, painful crawl towards his partner. On the other side Rico is still nursing his own injuries, so Soul bypasses a tag and tries instead to cut Biff off... ...BUT THE TAG IS MADE!! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Here. Comes. Flex! Riled up from his extended spell on the apron, Flex comes in and transforms into a human HOUSE OF FIRE! A clothesline puts Soul back down the moment he reaches his feet. Up climbs Soul again, but again he's nailed with a clothesline. Rico sees his partner in trouble and comes in looking for the save, finding only more of the same, that being a clothesline that knocks him clean off his feet. And Flex is feeling it now, treating the crowd to an impressive 'most muscular' pose that almost tempts Vince McMahon to pick up the phone to his accountant and say "hey, maybe we gave up on that WBF thing too soon!" COLE Flex Phillips is cleaning house and Rico might be getting that sinking feeling again right about now. COACH Don't count him out yet Mikey. He's not the same guy we saw those past three times. Well... he is, but he isn't. You know what I'm saying. Posing time is over now as Flex sends Rico for the ride. Rico grips the top rope and stops his momentum though, giving Flex the ol' porn 'stache stroke, distracting him as Lucius comes up from behind... ...but a sidestep from Flex causes Lucius to hit [i]Rico[/i] with a huge Bicycle Kick, sending Rico spiralling up and over the top rope to the arena floor! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Oh no! COLE Rico's got more than a sinking feeling after that one! Momentarily freaked out by his miscue, Soul tries to apologise. Being KOed on the floor Rico can't hear anyway, so Lucius remembers he's got a match to get on with, turning on his heels and charging at Flex. But he runs right into a Sidewalk Slam from Ft. Lauderdale's finest! Popping to his knees, Flex signals that it's over as he makes a lateral press... 1... 2... NO, kickout! COACH There we go! This guy's no pushover, not like Rico's past partners. COLE Kickout by Soul, but NRG are still in the ascendancy here. Lucius Soul is in the ascendancy too. Literally, as Flex pulls him off the mat and up into the air with an effortless Gorilla Press! So effortless that Flex starts doing reps with the 185 pound newcomer. Back into the fray comes Biff Atlas meanwhile and on orders from his partner he drops to one knee, ready for the NRG Burst! Referee Charles Robinson is trying to gain control of the match though and finds himself in the way trying to get one man in and one man out... *CHING!* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" ...meaning he misses the LOWBLOW by Rico de Janeiro on Flex Phillips! COACH So much for ascendancy! COLE Out of sight of the referee, lowblow! Don't tell me this is how Rico intends on getting his first OAOAST victory! COACH Well, that's one method he didn't try before. Going into a sudden state of rigor mortis, or rigor paralysis at least, Flex drops Soul who just manages to catch himself and land on his feet. Biff reacts, brushing referee Robinson aside and rushing at Lucius. Lucius drops down though, forcing Biff to go up and over, right into the waiting arms of Rico with a HOTSHOT! "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" As Biff whiplashes off of the rope, Soul takes Flex and calls over Rico. Together The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew pitch the bigman to the arena floor and pool their efforts towards the lone man in the ring, Biff Atlas. Biff is still choking for breath as Rico hauls him up, clubbing him with a couple of forearms. Snaking behind, Rico then takes Biff up for a Back Suplex as Soul positions himself, taking Biff by the back of the head and guiding him down with a Neckbreaker in stereo with the suplex! COACH What a hairraising experience for Biff Atlas! Haha, get it? Coz, the hair? COLE Genius. Biff writhes on the canvas as Soul jumps for joy. Meanwhile, the much calmer de Janeiro swaggers back to his feet, hands on hips, looking for the answer to one simple question. RICO WHO WANTS A MOUSTACHE RIDE!?! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Sit down Michael! COLE I am sat down you moron! Apparantly no-one wants to take The King Of The Mardi Gras up on his gracious offer. So Rico turns his attention back to Biff, pulling him up off the canvas and into a standing headscissors. And despite Biff's 220 pounds of muscle, Rico is able to muscle him up over his shoulder, placing the hands in the armpits and muscling him up a little further with the crucifix... ...and DRIVING him down with the Crucifix Powerbomb! COACH The Moustache Ride! COLE What strength from de Janeiro! Impressive! Rico strokes down the porn 'stache as he crawls into the cover... 1... ...and Lucius lands a baseball slide to keep Flex out of action... 2... 3!!! COLE And that's it! *DINGDINGDING!* As soon as the bell sounds, Rico punches the air in relief. But he soon regains his cool and simply strokes down the porn 'stache in victory. Soul returns to the ring too and pats his new tag partner on the back, celebrating a job well done. BUFFER Your winners of this match, the team of RICO DE JANEIRO and "SWEET" LUCIUS SOUL... THE MARDI GRAS HOMEWRECKING CREWii! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Some questionable tactics, but you can't argue with the results. Rico de Janeiro picks up his first ever OAOAST victory, with the newcomer Lucius Soul by his side and I can guarantee they won't care about the means or the methods. COACH And so they shouldn't! Rico needed a partner he could rely on and he found him. He needed a partner to help him towards victory, he found him. And hey, first time out they beat NRG. Who knows how far these two could go together Mikey. It could be a year round Mardi Gras celebration... and I LOVE Mardi Gras celebrations! COLE Settle down Coach. COACH But... Mardi Gras! You know what you've got to do to get those beads, right? COLE (sighs) Yeeess. COACH I wanna see someone show it! Where's Stacey when you need her? Get her out here. Find Lindsay, find anyone, The Coach ain't fussy... COLE Commercials!

Stone Cold (original and 2001 version) Kurt Angle, WWE And "Real American" for Hogan. I was watching back some old WWF shows and threw on something from '03, when Hogan was using Voodoo Child, a couple of days later and it just seemed so wrong.

So it's Heyman's fault we're stuck with stale babyface 2002 RVD? Am I the only one who thinks that sounds really bad booking in it's own right? Dropping Show in the opening period to Punk (and this is coming as a big Punk fan) would have been risky and virtually negated by having Punk fall to Test. And then Lashley winning the belt by beating Test, by which point the crowd would be even more POed than they were with Show/Lashley, which does absolutely no-one any favours. That's what I like about Meltzer, he's so unbiased. Neat.

Umaga, obviously. The real question is, will somebody win from #1 yet again?

Just a reminder, I need all matches in this thread by Sunday so I can get the ballot up. Thank you all.

Tazz in ECW. He had a couple of versions, I prefer the one where he's not speaking through it myself. Perfect 'you're gonna get it' music, the intro especially and the crowd always seemed to go nuts for it.

Maybe he tried playing through Season Mode with a Cruiserweight and flat out lost it. I wouldn't blame him.

I keep up with the newswires, but in terms of buying shows I'm really behind. As in I only have 6 or 7 ROH shows. Being wealthy to keep up was meant more having a full catalogue of shows. I tend to spend my money on PWG or CHIKARA, because you're looking at 12-16 shows a year as opposed to the amount ROH run. I haven't tried out ordering from the ROH website before though, so I don't really keep up with the offers. Going by what you said and the state of the dollar, I could get probably get close to 20 shows for £100 so maybe I should keep my eye out a little more. Oh, and thanks for the tips.

The roster is eons above ECW's. A lot of flippy-floppy guys (Evans, Ruckus, Hart, Sydal (and rumours of interest in Pac, who's like a British AJ Styles), although they've got the greatness of Colt Cabana who can do virtually everything. And Human Tornado, with the best moveset in indy wrestling bar none. The actual concept might turn some people off, but hopefully it'll work out okay.

That's my problem with ROH, you have to be pretty wealthy to keep up with everything. What's Buffalo Stampede like Hawk? I've seen Cabana vs. Low Ki from that show and it being a Cabana match I really enjoyed it and the rest of the card looks decent, but not as good as some of the other shows. Also, The 100th Show, looks a great card. Yay or nay?

Special Guest Ring Announcer: (Not really.)

At the risk of providing weak feedback (Me? Get out of town!), that's probably the best HD we've had in a good few months. Good stuff. Particular mention to Bruce for the Kawada match, we haven't really had a Puro character that I can remember. A nice addition to the roster.

Okay, no preamble. Would it be easier on everybody if we changed the schedule to one, fixed weekly show? At the moment some people don't seem to be showing as often as they should and there's probably a lot of reasons for that. Time not being the only one. But this three show schedule continues to throw me off even after three and a half years and it's even worse now I get barely any time at weekends. Other people can't be booked for certain shows because of other issues. So surely if there was one show a week, everyone would have some time within that week to try and write? 7 days probably doesn't seem much different to 4 or 5 in terms of writing time, but it makes a difference because I know when and when I can't write within the week and can get into an actual routine. SWF in the current schedule can be a little disruptive. At the OAOAST (yawn, I know) it's one show a week, fixed. All I know is, I have any easier time with that than I do here, so make of that what you will. Besides that, we could in theory have a bigger show each week and therefore avoid having so many throwaway 'one undercard match and whatever Toxxic's writing this week' shows. On one show a week, we might even get more work-shy vets back to write. And if there's more matches, the shows are better, people are more interested so they're more compelled to write and the cycle just keeps on going. Just a suggestion anyway. I can't see how this could be anything but better than the current schedule, but maybe you disagree.

HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship PRL and Popick © vs. D*LUX plus The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew -DEBUT- vs. NRG

Unless I'm in Internet Explorer, I can't seem to post, PM or even so much as logout. So, pretty much everything. I just get this... And in Internet Explorer, I'm getting logged out anyway.

OAOAST World Tag Team Championships The Sooner Bruisers © vs. The Heavenly Rockers vs. The Beverly Hills Blonds vs. Rescue 911 vs. Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright vs. The Love Doctors The Vote But will it be a... a) Over The Top Rope Battle Royal b) Triple Chance Battle Royal c) Tag Team Turmoil Match

Backstage we go and the lone figure of Stacey Robertson, girlfriend of Colombian Heat, is sat backstage and apparantly waiting on her man to clock off for the day. As such. Stacey looks around for any sign of anyone and checks her watch as there's still no sign of her boyfriend. However a figure is looming towards her, that being Jade Rodez. JADE Hi, it's Stacey, right? Stacey looks up and apparantly recognises Jade, becoming very distant all of a sudden. STACEY Yeah. JADE Waiting for someone? STACEY Yes. JADE Okay. Good talk. So, what's it like dating a wrestler? Must be hard with him on the road so much, coz see, my brother he's a wrestler and he was always here, there and everywhere and I never really saw him that often, so if you... STACEY Listen, just because I'm alone you don't have to try and make small talk. A little surprised at the catty tone in the otherwise sweet and nice woman in front of her, Jade is taken aback for a moment. JADE I get it, you don't want to talk because of what's going on with Heat and my team. STACEY I don't usually socialise with people he hates. JADE And I suppose telling you it was a misunderstanding would be a waste of time too. STACEY Probably. JADE Well, in that case... LINDSAY Well well well. Suddenly both ladies look up as over saunters Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, Tha Puerto Rican's beau, chewing a mouthful of gum as she folds her arms and glares at Jade and Stacey. LINDSAY Did they commission a Diva Search while I wasn't looking? JADE Been let off the leash, have we? LINDSAY That's rich. You know, I figured when your brother got taken out you'd realise your meal ticket was gone and take off with him, but apparantly not. Shame really. You must be hard up for money, now your little boyband friends are the former HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions and MY boyfriend, the greatest Puerto Rican athlete in sports history, Tha Puerto Rican, is the Champion. JADE That's nice to hear. Because, after my brother took his last title I thought he might go off the deep end. Lindsay frowns. JADE Oh and as you're here, you can send a message to PRL that D*LUX won't be fooled for a second time and we're coming back for those titles that were stolen from us. STACEY They're going to have to get in the queue then. Surprised by the interruption, Jade wheels around. JADE Excuse me? STACEY Heat says that he and Spanish Fly are going after the titles too. And we all know my [i]man[/i] would tear your [i]boys[/i] apart. JADE With all due respect, we're former champions, they're not. STACEY So? JADE So? So, we deserve the next shot. STACEY Until Heat and Spanish Fly beat you, right? JADE Not gonna happen. STACEY Says who? JADE Says me! LINDSAY Girls, girls, girls, let's not fight. We all know that PRL and Popick are the champions for a reason. It doesn't matter which or your pathetic little teams steps up, PRL will knock them right back down. That's why I'm with him and you hangers on are with them. That and my good looks. Try all you want, but The Lightning Crew will make you look second-rate time and time again. I'm out. Lindsay divaishly (new word!) storms off and luckily, or unluckily depending on your viewpoint, Jade leaves in the other direction before any catfighting can ensue. STACEY These bitches around here are crazy!

COLE We are back in Canada, again, for HeldDOWN~! Coach and it's... just as cold as last time. COACH Montreal, the only place in the world where even you stand a chance of being screwed. Well, half chance. COLE Let's not go there. Coming up in due course we've got six-man tag team action as three fourths of The Enterprise, The Beverly Hills Blonds and Christian Wright take on a trio of their recent irritants. Los Diablos De Fuego have been and continue to be a thorn in the sides of Ned Blanchard and Simon Singleton, while their partner tonight The Dance Dance Dragon holds a victory over The Financial Analyst, CW. Although Christian did get the win back a few weeks ago, that defeat still wrangles with Christian I'm sure. He'll get a chance to put Dragon out of his mind for good tonight though. COACH No doubt. It's already in the bag, the money bag if you will. The Enterprise were so impressive at November Reign, tonight's gonna be no different. COLE Well, it IS, because it's 3 on 3 rather than 4 on 4. But I see your, albeit bias, point. COACH I just hope the referee's clued up on Los Diablos this time around. Another one of those illegal switches like we saw at November Reign would be a travesty, those sort of underhanded business tactics are frowned upon highly by respected entrepeneurs like Theodore Moneymaker. Christian told me himself. COLE Ah. I wondered where you got all those big words from. "You break the laws You hustle, you deal, you steal from us all Come on come on, lovin' for the money Come on come on, listen to the Money talk Come on come on, lovin' for the money Come on come on, listen to the Money talk Money talks" To the tune of their leader's band The Enterprise enter, "Money Talks" playing through the arena as The Beverly Hills Blonds lead the way. They're joined by Christian Wright in his unbelievably expensive polyester business jacket, carrying with him the trusty briefcase (which surprisingly shows no dents, despite it's recent meetings with certain individuals craniums). And bringing up the rear, Mackenzie DeCenzo, arm in arm with the most money making man in the OAOAST, Theodore Moneymaker, fanning himself with a wad of cash! BUFFER The following six-man tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! Currently on the way to the ring, accompanied to the ring by MACKENZIE DECENZO and the CEO of The Enterprise, THEODORE MONEYMAKER! At a total combined weight of six hundred, eighty five pounds... the team of NED BLANCHARD and SIMON SINGLETON, THE BEVERLY HILLS BLONDS, and, "THE NATURAL" CHRISTIAN WRIGHT... together, they represent TTHHEEE EEEENNTTEEEEERRRRRPPRRRRIIIIIISSSSEEEEEEEE!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The Enterprise trio, plus their two 'seconds', make their way to the ring. Already set up in their corner is Mackenzie's director's chair which Teddy gladly leads her to, before demanding that one of the stagehands responsible for Mackie's seat sets out a steel chair for him. Hopeful of a payday, the stagehand sets up a chair quickly for The Billion Dollar Heir, only to be shooed away once his job is done. COLE There's no no lack of class with Theodore Moneymaker. COACH I agree! ...wait, did you say no twice? COLE You'll work it out eventually. Ned, Simon and Christian discuss strategy in the ring as the brains behind the operation relax at ringside. In the meantime "Hung Up" starts playing, as the lights in the building dim down. The Montreal crowd are treated to an impromptu laser show, lighting up the entire rampway, as well as twelve Japanese dancing girls! Even better! However, Los Diablos De Fuego seem distinctly uninterested with the scantily clad ladies and dance their scantily clad male selves right in front of them to "Hung Up", which combining those gay icons Madonna and the sample of ABBA makes for the perfect Los Diablos dance song! Dance Dance Dragon makes use of the holographic DDR stage in the background before the three masked men dance their way on down the aisle. BUFFER And their opponents! At a total combined weight of five hundred, thirty nine pounds... the team of THE DANCE DANCE DRAGON and MARIACHI, MORACCA... LOS DDIIIIIIAAAAAABBLLLOOOOSSS DDEEEEEEE FFFUUUUUEEEEEGGOOOOOO!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE And this Montreal crowd are LOVING these three fun-loving characters! COACH They're half French, of course they do. From the ring The Enterprise watch on in disgust at the antics of their opponents. Dragon tumbles into the ring, actually looking the more restrained of the team just for a change as Los Diablos bump and grind with the ringpost. Moneymaker looks physically ill. COACH Poor Teddy. COLE Perhaps he's still feeling the effects of that liplock Moracca laid on him at November Reign? Not for the first time, I might add. It seems like maybe Los Diablos have a bit of a 'thing' for Theodore. COACH They have a 'thing' for every male on the planet. And each other. Finally the music stops and some semblance of order is restored. Dance Dance Dragon is in the ring already and seems happy to start things off while The Enterprise hang in the corner, talking everything over with the 'boss'. Eventually it's decided that Simon Singleton is going to start for the team and some very business-like handshakes are exchanged... ...before Simon does a sudden 180 and charges... ...right into an armdrag by Dragon! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE And that's not the start The Enterprise were hoping for! *DINGDINGDING!* Simon scrambles back to his feet as the bell sounds to officially start the match and takes a second armdrag! Back up and a third armdrag is waiting, Simon looking completely lost as he now walks right into a [i]Japanese[/i] armdrag! Dragon rolls through on the move and clamps on an armbar as the rest of The Enterprise watch on wondering what the hell is happening to their colleague. Wondering the same thing is Simon as he reaches up for a handful of mask and is rejected. COLE Far from auspicious start here, Simon maybe a little too eager to get the jump on The Dragon. COACH He's a very busy man. COLE Oh, what does he actually go within The Enterprise, Coach? COACH ... Climbing back to his feet, Simon escapes the armbar with a quick knee before slamming a forearm down into the back of the neck. And another. Simon then sets up an irish whip, shooting Dragon into the ropes and dropping down. Up and over goes Dragon but he immediately puts the brakes on behind the unsuspecting Singleton, The Video Voyeur climbing back up... ...and into another armdrag! COACH Teddy needs to adjourn! Adjourn! The momentum takes the stumbling Simon back into a neutral corner and DDD follows in, leaping up and attempting a monkey flip. Simon is having none of that though and a quick shove sends Dragon off empty handed. Pointing to the temple = smarts. But following it up by walking right into your opponent's feet is not so smart however, Dragon getting the boots up and flipping Simon overhead with an improvised monkey flip, with a hard landing in the middle of the ring for Singleton! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE Ooh! Right on the base of the spine and Simon is in trouble! COACH Like you wouldn't believe... Simon rolls to his knees and rubs his behind, which is enough for both Diablos to beg for the tag! Dragon spots it and tags the closest Diablo, that being Moracca who hurries into the ring. Seeing the pink Mexican coming Simon notices the rubbing motions he's making and more importantly on what part of his anatomy he's making them and wisely high-tails it, rolling out of the ring as the sexually charged Moracca gives chase! Even licking his lips as Simon weaves around the ringpost and, approaching the opponent's corner (and Mariachi), weaves back into the ring. Moracca follows close behind... but it met with a kneedrop right to the back of the head from Simon! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Seeing his chance, Simon quickly tags in Christian Wright, The Natural rushing in and putting the boots to Moracca. Positioning the prone Mexican with his feet, Wright then climbs up onto the bottom ring rope, pinning it down across the throat of Moracca who kicks his feet in agony! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOU..." Wright breaks on four but only to drag Moracca away from the ropes, putting the boots to him some more in the centre of the ring. COACH There we go, business as usual! "CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!" "CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!" "CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!" "CHRIS - TIAN SUCKS!" Ignoring the chants, Wright hauls Moracca back to his feet and clubs him underneath the chin with a European Uppercut that he barely stays on his feet from. Theodore applauds the increase in intensity as again the European Uppercut finds the mark and Moracca collapses into the ropes. Irish whip follows, Wright knocking Moracca down with a back elbow... 1... Quick kickout, prompting Christian to make the tag to Ned Blanchard. COACH And now I do believe it's payback time. COLE No love lost with Ned Blanchard and Los Diablos, that's for sure. Possibly some lust on Diablos part, but certainly no love. In comes Ned, driving the point of the elbow suspiciously close to the throat of Moracca who sits up coughing and spluttering. Ned locks him in a rear chinlock to further restrict his breathing as Dragon and Mariachi watch on emotionless. They're wearing masks, see... ...oh, nevermind. "MO - RA - CCA!" "MO - RA - CCA!" "MO - RA - CCA!" "MO - RA - CCA!" The Montreal fans rally behind Moracca and he humps thin air as he soaks up the encouragement. Ned doesn't seem to worried though and once he senses some trouble he releases the chinlock, elbowing Moracca across the top of the spine to quell any fire. An exchange is made by The Beverly Hills Blonds, Ned to Simon who's regained his bearings and is ready to go again. The Blonds perform a double whip and land stereo back elbows, Ned exiting the ring before the referee's five count and leaving Simon to make the fall... 1... 2... Kickout. Simon brings Moracca to his feet. Forearms soften Moracca up before the tag is again made by the tag team specialists, The Beverly Hills Blonds. This time the whip is solo and sets up a drop toehold by Singleton, while Blanchard hits the near ropes and drops the point of the elbow down across the back of the head. In keeping with his usual arrogance, Ned takes a moment to taunt Mariachi before he follows up with the cover... 1... 2... Kickout again. COLE It seems The Enterprise have gained control here after their false start of sorts. And there's few better at tag team wrestling in the OAOAST, whether it be 2 on 2, 3 on 3, 4 on 4, whatever, than The Beverly Hills Blonds. Only former OAOAST and HI-YAH Tag Team Champions in history. COACH There's nobody better in my mind. With a series of big right hands Ned beats Moracca down, enjoying every minute of it after the weeks of humiliation they've inflicted on he and his Enterprise colleagues. Ned then backs away with a beaming smile on his face, measuring Moracca as he struggles back to his feet. From the outside Moracca's teammates try to warn him of what's waiting on him but it makes no difference, as he still finds himself hooked to the canvas with a big clothesline. Sitting Moracca right back up, Blanchard drops an elbow across the top of the head and then positions himself on Moracca's shoulders. Reaching over top, Ned then pulls Moracca's right leg up and hooks it, applying the seldom seen Stump Puller on the Mexican luchador! "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!" It seems like Ned is trying to forcefeed Moracca his own bright white boot as he pulls up on the leg. Curiously, Mariachi seems very interested in what's going on, almost as if he's taking notes for future reference. Probably best not to dwell on that. COACH Oh yeah, make him suffer Ned! COLE A torturous hold being applied by The Handsome Hustler. Working over the neck and the back, not to mention the stress this is putting on the quadracep and the calf muscle. COACH And the groin. The worst thing, at least in Moracca's mind, I'm sure. "MO - RA - CCA!" "MO - RA - CCA!" "MO - RA - CCA!" "MO - RA - CCA!" Moracca clenches his fists and tries to fight the pain as referee Charles Robinson checks for a submission. Any reprieve from The Handsome Hustler seems out of the question so Moracca has to try and escape the hold. Shaking and squirming, the Mexican fights and fights... and eventually Ned loses the leg! Ned tries to reach for it again but Moracca kicks his hands away at each attempt before looking to turn the hold over. A punch to the head stops him. But only momentarily, as Moracca eventually turns over onto his knees and pulls out Ned's feet from under him, causing him to faceplant into the canvas!! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Moracca escapes! And now he has to try and make the tag! After checking his nose is still in place Ned shakes away the cobwebs and looks to cut Moracca off, as the luchador dives for his corner... ...catching him around the waist and dropping him with an Inverted Atomic Drop! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE That'll cut somebody off in a hurry. COACH Like the saying goes, 'hit them where it hurts'! Haha! Moracca goes rigid and collapses in the centre of the ring, giving Ned chance to follow the advice coming from the outside, making the tag to Christian Wright. The Natural steps in and his first move is to go after Mariachi and Dance Dance Dragon in the corner, drawing them into the ring and allowing him to drag Moracca over into The Enterprise's corner where EVERYBODY gets in on the act, Ned and Simon joining in on the stomps as Moneymaker laughs uproariously on the arena floor. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Three on one in the corner, turn around referee! COACH Moracca's partners are doing him no favours. Teddy couldn't have got a better distraction if he paid for it himself, which he easily could have by the way! Eventually the referee gets Dragon and Mariachi to retreat back to their corners and The Blonds make themselves scarse too, leaving Christian to innocently kick away at Moracca's lifeless body. Moracca is hurting and really needs the tag. A task made harder by Christian Wright standing on the back of his neck. "ONE!" "TWO!" "THR..." A break and a look of innocence from Christian, unsure of what he did wrong. Wink wink. His discussion with the referee distracts him from Ned Blanchard's involvement on the apron, dragging Moracca's throat across the ring apron and dropping an elbow across the neck! Referee Robinson wonders why Ned is on the floor but gets no clues from the innocent Handsome Hustler. Predictably enough Mariachi and Dragon try to help but do more harm than good as now Theodore Moneymaker climbs from his chair AND PUTS A FRONT FACELOCK ON, CHOKING MORACCA ON THE RING APRON!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Oh, come ON! Now Theodore Moneymaker is getting involved and the referee is none the wiser! More shady tactics from The Enterprise... I don't know how you can complain about illegal switches and what have you when The Enterprise consistantly and blatantly flout the rules each and every time we see them. COACH This is nothing compared to that injustice and you know it! "TE - DDY SUCKS!" "TE - DDY SUCKS!" "TE - DDY SUCKS!" "TE - DDY SUCKS!" As the referee gains some control once more, The Billion Dollar Heir goes back to his seat and kicks his legs up, resuming a conversation with Mackenzie as if nothing happened. Meanwhile, CW pulls Moracca out from the ropes and to his feet, lining him up... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and landing a HARD knifedge chop across the pink leather covered chest of Moracca! COACH Ow-eee! Dropping like a stone, Moracca looks easy pickings now as Wright and Moneymaker share a "money fingers" signal. Wright lifts the lagging luchador up and off his feet, up into a fireman's carry with ease. Turning into the centre of the ring Christian then rushes forwards looking for the Bank Roll... ...but Moracca slips free and lands safely on his feet! On go the brakes but not quick enough to prevent Moracca dropping and scrambling, crawling through CW's legs to make it to the corner... ...AND TAG!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Everybody Dance Now! COACH Oh no! In comes The Dance Dance Dragon and he is a house of dancin' fire! A clothesline puts Wright down, Ned coming in and eating a forearm to take him out of the equation. Simon comes in late and Dragon is ready for him, popping up with a front dropkick that lands in the chest and sends The Video Voyeur tumbling out of the ring! Dragon wheels around just in time to catch Wright coming, blocking a boot to the gut and sweeping CW over with a Dragon ScreWii "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" COLE The Dragon Screw from the Dragon! It's so ironic I think my head may just explode! Ned is next to attack... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and gets lit up with a knifedge chop! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and another! COLE The Strong Style Party Animal living up to his name with those vicious strikes and suddenly Moneymaker doesn't seem quite so confident on the floor! Not one to take a beating lying down, Ned tries to cut Dragon off in his prime. A clothesline is ducked though and Ned goes running off into the ropes, unfortunately just as Simon is using those ropes to climb back to the ring apron, thus bumping his partner off to the arena floor again! Not to worry though as Ned soon follows him, getting clotheslined over the top by Triple D and ending up in a Beverly Hills bundle on the outside! Moneymaker has seen enough and can't sit back any longer, jogging over to help his men back to their feet, unaware of Dance Dance Dragon hurtling towards him... ...FLIPPING OVER THE TOP AND WIPING ALL THREE OUT WITH A SOMERSAULT PLANCHAAAAA~!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COACH That's not fair! Theodore Moneymaker isn't in this match, he's an innocent bystander! COLE He's an innocent by-flat-on-his-asser now! "D - D - D!" "D - D - D!" "D - D - D!" "D - D - D!" Back in the ring, Wright is distracted at his three Enterprise cohorts lie in a heap on the floor. That allows Mariachi to sneak into the action, waiting for The Natural to turn around before springboarding up onto the top rope and soaring in. Wright sees him coming but doesn't have enough time to react as Mariachi cuts him down with a Seated Senton, Wright getting a faceful of crotch as Mariachi tries to hold him down... 1... 2... NO! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Mariachi is fresh and makes full use of his extra energy, beating CW to his feet and rushing into the ropes. A swing and a miss follows from Wright, Mariachi hitting the opposite side, building up some speed... ...and running into a SNAP Powerslam!! 1... 2... SAVE BY MORACCA!! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Backing away, Moracca lures in the angry Financial Analyst before, as he finds himself backed in a corner, BLOWING HIM A KISS! Wright understandably freaks out and backs up himself, finding himself caught from behind in a rear waistlock by Mariachi. Before CW can get away, Moracca then rushes in and applies a simultaneous front waistlock, Los Diablos sandwiching CW in between them and hoisting him off the canvas, shaking him around and putting on the pressure. And this time Mackenzie looks physically ill. "YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Oh dear God. COLE THE HOMIES HUG! HOMIES HUG! They're not homos, they're homies! :D COACH This is the most disgusting thing I've ever seen! Somebody get in and stop this before we get taken off the air!! Wright looks completely horrified and doesn't even think about an escape as he sees what this must look like to the average onlooker. Mackenzie watches on covering her mouth, literally looking physically sick, as even Charles Robinson seems a little creeped out by this offensive (in more ways than one) manoeuvre! COACH ENOUGH! ENOUGH! DEAR LORD ENOUGH! Thankfully for the name of good taste, Los Diablos release Wright from the unwelcomed threeway physicality and skip about merrily at the experience. Standing in the centre of the ring, Wright alternates between gasping for breath and looking violated, shaking in shock and rage before finally Los Diablos turn and The Natural charges them. A double clothesline is ducked though as Los Diablos meet him with two knees to the gut and hook the head... [COLOR=pink]*SMOOCH!* *SMOOCH!*[/COLOR] ...kissing Wright on either cheek... *WHAM!* ...AND PLANTING HIM FACE-FIRST WITH THE KISS OF DEATH!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Kiss Of Death! And there's no-one to come to the rescue! Both Diablos want the glory, or the body on body contact, but after a brief squabble they both dive on top and hump their way through the count... 1... 2... 3!!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE AND THAT'S IT!! The fans go wild and so do Los Diablos, literally leaping for joy as the three is scored. Mackenzie quite simply can't believe it and neither can Teddy, Ned or Simon as they look on from their heap on the floor. Dragon quickly calls Los Diablos out and the trio celebrate as Moneymaker rushes into the ring and DEMANDS to know how this could have happened. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match... the team of THE DANCE DANCE DRAGON and LOS DIABLOS DE FFFFFFUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEGGOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" "IT'S RAININ' MEN! Hallejulah IT'S RAININ' MEN! Amen" COACH That's the most disgusting thing I've seen in my life! COLE Disgusting or not, Los Diablos scored the fall, they won the match, The Enterprise lose to Los Diablos and Dance Dance Dragon! And Theodore Moneymaker is BESIDE HIMSELF!! COACH That fall never should have counted! The match should have been thrown out on the grounds of good taste long ago! And since when has two men pinning one been legal!? This is disgusting in so many ways! Los Diablos and DDD celebrate their way up the ramp, the victorious luchadors getting up close and personal with their dancing partner as in the ring Moneymaker is throwing a fit! Referee Charles Robinson gets out while he still can as Moneymaker continues to rage, even despite Mackenzie DeCenzo entering the ring to try and calm him down. On the outside, The Beverly Hills Blonds are lost for words. COLE Los Diablos have got one over on The Enterprise again. And the honeymoon may be over for Theodore Moneymaker, he's got some business evaluation to do after this result! COACH Can I get a bucket or something? I feel sick. COLE It'll pass. Here, have a chili dog. COACH A... ohgodI'mgonnapuke... *COMMERCIALS!*

MATTHEWS Ladies and gentlemen, joining me at this time... Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Walking into shot with a beaming smile and only the slightest hint of a limp in his step, Landon hangs his arm over Josh's shoulder as if they were best buddies from way back. Of course, they're nothing of the sort, but Josh isn't going to do anything about it. I mean, it's not like he's a wrestler. Megan Skye joins her man as Josh composes himself. MATTHEWS Last week Landon, you were involved in one of th... MADDIX Ahbahbah... MATTHEWS ...last week, you [i]won[/i] one of the craziest matches in HeldDOWN~! history, the Philadelphia Street Fight, along with Todd Cortez and Bloodshed. Now, you and your three opponents The Hooligans were offered the night off tonight, but you apparantly have a big announcement to make. MADDIX That's right Josh. By the way, good save. See, you're right about last week being one of the craziest matches in HeldDOWN~! history. Granted, I've never actually watched the show outside of scouting purposes and when I know I'm going to be on, but my point remains. There were guys flying off of balconies, guys going through tables, guys jamming staples into each other's flesh... it was straight nuts out there. But in amongst the chaos and the catastrophe, who's hand was raised in victory? Landon Maddix, ¡claro! See, I'm sure Bloodshed could have gone on all day mutilating Johnny, Scotty and Jamie, The Street Spirit Squad. And Cortez would have done his flippy-do-dad on the apron spot given half the chance. But when you need someone to get the job done, you rely on Landon Maddix... with just a smidgen of help from his trusty manageress. Megan smiles and pecks Landon on the cheek. MADDIX They always fall into the trap. It's seamless. One kick and now Mr. Jackson isn't so much Johnny as Michael, at least in the looks department. One kick. POW! And it was lights out. Taking the arm off from the shoulder, Landon runs a hand through the blond locks. MADDIX Ever since War Games, everywhere I go, I get nothing but mocking. People 'crying' and 'bawling' and 'tapping out' in my general direction. In public. We're delving into a shallow gene pool here Josh. I've been given nothing but disrespect. And I'm sick of it! Nevermind that I'm a two-time World Champion. Nevermind my reign as OAOAST 24/7 Champion. Nevermind that I am the SAVIOUR of the OAOAST! Landon throws his arms to the side on the word saviour, just incase you didn't get it. MADDIX Nevermind that I had a... metal spike... jammed into my nether regions at Syndicated. I was violated Josh, VIOLATED! Any man in my position would have done the very same thing I did, which was save my scrotum from uneccessary surgery by quitting against my better nature and living to fight another day. Those are grounds for mockery? Well, last week, I scored not one but two victories over The GPX. They're former Tag Team Champions, right? Pretty well respected? On Monday at November Reign I put down Scotty Static and last Thursday, Johnny Jax, 1, 2, 3. Well who's the object of ridicule now? Not me. Not I. Which brings me to the big announcement. To further prove I'm not a joke. It's about time yours truly started concentrating on my career, rather than the constant dealings with Malibu and his merry band of men. There's only so many times I can beat the GPXs of this world before I have to move onto bigger and better things. And with that said, it's my pleasure... to announce myself as the FIRST competitor officially entering himself into the 2007 Royal Rumble! Cue the cheesy grin from Landon as he basks in the glow of his announcement with Megan. MATTHEWS Landon... you realise that AnglePalooza is still nearly two months away, right? MADDIX (sighs) [i]Yes[/i], I realise that. MATTHEWS Just checking. MADDIX AnglePalooza might be two months or so away, but I'm already looking onward and forward. The Royal Rumble. 29 of the OAOAST's supposed best superstars and Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix. And one by one, those 29 second rate wrestlers are going to go soaring over that top rope, by my hands or otherwise, until only I'm left standing. MATTHEWS What makes you so confident of victory Landon... besides the obvious. I mean, we don't even know who's going to be in the field of 30 yet, let alone the random drawing. MADDIX Look, it's a simple matter of motivation. See, I'm entering the Royal Rumble for one reason... History! See, when I outlast those 29 wannabees, I will have created history. I will have achieved something no other man has done in this business. That being, becoming the first man EVER to have both the SWF Clusterfuck and the OAOAST Royal Rumble on their resumé... thus saving these people from yet another mediocre AngleMania main-event in the process. And then at AngleMania, I will become the first EVER man to win both the SWF and OAOAST World Heavyweight Championships and my name will go down in the annals of time! Landon Maddix- Leyenda de Lucha Libre! Still caught up in his fantasy world, Maddix wanders off aimlessly as we go back to the arena.

New Orleans, Louisiana. And the OAOAST's feeder promotion, OAOVW, is in town and so is Rico de Janeiro. He of the humbling at the hands of Theodore Moneymaker. He of the two seperate tag defeats against D*LUX. He who is sick of being an also ran, as evident by his post-match attack on D*LUX last time we saw him. Wearing the gaudiest of orange Hawaiian shirts and stroking his 70's porn 'stache, Rico walks through the New Orleans air outside the arena, in search it seems of the man standing at the entrance to the car park. Counting out a handful of bills, the guy is pretty tall, pretty skinny, black... oh yeah, he's also got one hell of an afro 'do. Rico approaches the guy who quickly staches the money in the pocket of his beige pants. RICO It's Lucius, right? LUCIUS Yo... have we met? (glances around) You look kinda... you know, familiar. RICO We spoke on the phone. LUCIUS Oh. Ohh sure, sure we did. Yeeaahh, haha... listen, I'm'a need you strip down real quick, you know, just incase you got any wires caught up on you when you got dressed this mornin', yeah. Standard procedure. You can't be too careful, dig? RICO It's Rico. The wrestler. For a moment, the afro adorned Soul racks his memory. Before eventually something comes up positive and a beaming smile creeps across his face, laughing away as he pats Rico on the shoulder. LUCIUS Oh man, you had me worried there for a minute. Phew! Man, don't do that to me, I got a weak heart. It's genetics. Can't touch red meat. RICO So, have I come to the right guy? LUCIUS When you come to "Sweet" Lucius Soul, you're always with the right guy. So, what brings you to Nawlins? ----------- Time has passed. We are now in a nondescript café in downtown New Orleans, the kind where 'confidential business' deals tend to take place. As such, there's some shifty looking characters scattered around and the place itself is pretty rundown. Or, to be more kind, 'rustic'. Rico and Lucius sit either side of the table, Rico lounged back while Lucius goes over the menu. SOUL So, what's the happy haps? RICO Well, I've just signed a full contract with the OAOAST and I'm looking for a tag team partner to help me out. I'm sick of being the punching bag. The hired help. The guy they throw in to the wolves. I'm Rico de Janeiro and lemme tell you, Rico don't swing that way, baby. The sole reason I'm going back to HeldDOWN~! is to prove to the world that I'm no joke. All I need a partner who isn't the missing link for a change. Word on the street is, you're that man. SOUL Word'd be right then, coz you're lookin' at HeldDOWN's newest star man. Just so happens I'm'a get my shot in a couple of weeks down in Green Bay. They got a couple of guys who need to knock off some ring rust or somethin', I dunno. All I know is, Soul's goin' global! RICO Is that so? SOUL Yeah... well, I mean, it ain't gonna be televised as such. Just something while they test out the lights and get the people in the house, like a dark match yeah, but everybody gotta start somewhere, right? Rico smiles to himself, absent-mindedly stroking his porn 'stache. RICO How about I go you one better? What if I can [i]guarantee[/i] you a match, televised, in Calgary next week? Lucius' eyebrows peak. SOUL For real? RICO It's virtually set in stone my friend. All I need is somebody who can hang with Rico. SOUL Wow, that sounds mighty tempting man. I mean, a one-way ticket to the big-time? I'm down for that, no doubt, home of wrestling no less! Calgary... man. But... yo, how do you know I'm your man? I mean, we only met like three hours ago and I thought you was staking out my personal dealings. You expect us to go straight out and work like clockwork? And hey, I got standards too. How can I be sure you're the real deal yourself? I mean, I got my street cred to uphold man, I can't be seen with no second-rate tag partner on national TV. Maybe I oughta see some credentials before we sign off on any dealings. Rico remains pretty stoic through all this as a young waitress strolls over with the duo's coffees. Sitting up a little, Rico looks the young blonde up and down and reaches down his collar, pulling out a handful of brightly coloured bead necklaces. RICO Hey, baby... (strokes porn 'stache)... you know what you gotta do to get these, right? The young lady smiles. She's no novice ladies and gentlemen. Unfortunately it's off camera, but the waitress definately DOES pull up her top and reveal her side orders~! Lucius' face understandably lights up as Rico takes off one of his bead necklaces, tosses the reward to the young waitress, who disappears with her shirt once again covering her modesty. RICO How's that for credentials? SOUL Awww dip! Man, I got a feeling you and me are gonna get on reeeaaalll well! The... Mardi Gras Wrecking Crew! RICO Hmm, that's pretty good. But how about... Rico glances over at the young lady, admiring the tacky plastic beads she's earnt. RICO ...The Mardi Gras [i]Home[/i]wrecking Crew. SOUL Hehehe. That's awesome, baby! (VOICEOVER) Ladies, keep your eyes peeled and your contraceptives up to date, incase you happen upon... [b][SIZE=4]THE [COLOR=green]MARDI[/COLOR] [COLOR=red]GRAS[/COLOR] HOMEWRECKING CREWii[/SIZE][/b] [i]"She's an ea - sy lo - ver She'll take a hold but you won't feel it She's like no o - ther Be - fore you know it you'll be on your knees[/i]

See, that wouldn't surprise me. That was Heyman's MO, book the main event and a couple of grudge matches, throw the rest of the undercard together (a lot of the time in 'impromptu matches', which was ALWAYS garbage booking) and let them wrestle. The only difference I see, if this is true, between now and then is that a) Back then, there was limited TV coverage so people weren't used to seeing the thrown together pairings so much. Now they have a weekly TV show, so they can't just throw random guys out there in random matches on a PPV. And b) Back then, the fans gave (more of) a shit about the roster from top to bottom. If the show had been held in the Hammerstein, the crowd might have been a bit more responsive (probably too much, but still) and it might not have seemed quite so bad.