King Cucaracha

CREDITS~! King Cucaracha Bruce Blank Tony149 EWC Alfdogg Zack Malibu? I think. I dunno. Maybe some others. Technically, this isn't my job see.

Somewhere between the segment EWC has planned and his match, please. Ta! ------------------- MATTHEWS Okay, I'm backstage with the HI-YAH Tag Team Champions D*LUX and of course Jade Rodez. Obviously you've got plenty on your mind with those titles and we'll come to Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick in a minute. But first, Jade, I've got to ask how your brother's doing. Jade hangs her head a little, obviously a rough subject for her, as D*LUX talk amonst themselves for the time being. JADE He's doing okay. Well, he's not, but you get what I mean. The last prognosis from the doctors was a little more positive and Leon's determined to get into rehabbing his neck as soon as physically possible. To be honest, he's going a little stir crazy, not able to do what he loves week in and week out. But the rest should do him good. And on behalf of the family, I'd like to thank everybody who's sent cards and letters and left get well messages on the website for keeping his spirits up in this tough time. And I'm sure they'll help speed up his recovery and he's adamant he'll be back in the ring sooner than we all think. MATTHEWS We certainly hope so. Now, onto D*LUX business and... "Yo!" Surprised by the interruption, Josh looks around in time with his three guests, as Tha Puerto Rican jogs into view. Popick is close behind as ever, taping up his wrists in mid-walk as the out of breath PRL comes to a stop beside J.Math. PRL I'm sorry Josh, but we've got some D*LUX business ourselves here. TYLER Oh, really? PRL Listen, I know you're planning on watching us tonight against Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly, scouting up on this. And we hope you like what you see. But... well, me and Popick are a little worried about them. JADE Why's that? PRL Well, I won't bore you into details, but lets just say that Heat and Fly have got some problems with moving on and letting bygones be bygones. They've got a grudge against me, see. With good reason, I'll admit. But I know how concerned you are with us proving to you that we're fair and just wrestlers and we think that might be a problem tonight. Heat and Fly, they've... well, they've told us in no uncertain terms they don't trust us. D*LUX don't seem to get how this concerns them still, as PRL runs a hand over his head. PRL I've been in some real wars with those two. And trust me, they're capable of ANYTHING. Especially against me and Popick and that's the Truth, Ruth. We want a fair match. And I don't think they do. So, seeing as you'll be watching the match anyway, we were wondering if you could... watch our backs. TYLER Us? PRL You, yes. I know you don't want us injured before November Reign, you want a fair match, right down the middle. So, we just wanna know that if things get out of hand with Heat and Fly, you'll have our backs. Just incase. Looking a little taken aback by this plea, the HI-YAH Tag Team Champions seem to take a moment to discuss it with each other. The moment is killed though, as like any good manager, their manager has made their decision for them. JADE We've got your backs. PRL Thank you, we really, REALLY appreciate it, right Popick? POPICK (looks up) Huh? PRL ...nevermind. Listen, thanks again guys. You're good kids. PRL flashes a cheesy thumbs up to D*LUX before he and Popick scuttle off, leaving D*LUX to find a monitor and watch said backs.

JBL has done more to put over London and Kendrick, the Tag Team Champions of the brand, since he got the announcing job than the entire company has before and since combined. That's what's good about JBL. He's similiar to Ventura because he's clearly a 'heel' commentator, but doesn't do the cliched 'every heel is god, every face sucks' role that heel commentators seem to fall into. He acknowledges when the Kendricks and the Lashleys and even the Matt Hardys do something right. He puts over the people creative can't be arsed to, like Noble and Kash or The Teacher's Pets. And yeah, he plays favourites with the Boogeymans and the Vitos and the Mizes, but Ventura did that too. And they brought up Ventura's history sometimes like they do JBLs, it's just JBLs history was more recent than when Ventura was in the chair. Everyone who complains that JBL is too concerned with putting himself over is out of their minds. Especially those who then say 'Oh, Booker's great on commentary', when his entire shtick on commentary is to talk over everyone and play it for comedy effect at every turn (which is fine and dandy for one match every few weeks as a heel worker, but as a regular commentator wouldn't cut it).

Promopalooza.

Yeah, Hero, Cabana, Sydal, Delirious and Low Ki are nobodies. what? Sarcasm. We need some sort of sarcasm tags, it doesn't translate well onto messageboards.

I'd point out IWA doesn't run deathmatch shows and deathmatch shows alone anymore and hasn't done for years, but whatever. Plainfield is usually the deathmatch venue, I think. Everywhere else they tend to run straight wrestling with nobodies like Hero, Cannon, Cabana, Delirious, Sydal, Low Ki et all.

Fuck!

CW/DDD is up, so get to feedbacking and stuff.

There should be another Wildcard segment and this should go before that. Thanks. ---------------------------- We are backstage in the Wildcards' locker room. The mood is a little tense to say the least as Bruce Blank, Bloodshed and a hurt Todd Cortez are all staring at Landon Maddix. LANDON MADDIX Hey guys, how's it going? You... you look kinda... what's going on? BRUCE BLANK I think you owe us an explanation Landon!! LANDON MADDIX What do you mean? Explain what? BRUCE BLANK Oh don’t play cute with us Landon, War Games!! LANDON MADDIX Ah… yes that. Landon grins nervously as Bruce brings up that match. Bruce, Bloodshed and Cortez all take a step closer to Landon kinda forcing him into the corner as La Cucaracha gulps nervously. BRUCE BLANK I mean it was easy, all you had to do was NOT quit! LANDON MADDIX Well I.. I know that Bruce... BRUCE BLANK NOT quit!! The opposite of quit! LANDON MADDIX I know Bruce, I do know the rules. Bruce looks at Bloodshed, then at Cortez as if he’s trying to figure out what to do with Landon Maddix TODD CORTEZ You let us down man! LANDON MADDIX Look guys, it’s not that simple. I'm a young guy. A guy with needs. Todd knows what I'm talking about. I HAD to – you all saw the situation I was in, I mean what would you have done? BRUCE BLANK Not quit. BLOODSHED Not quit. TODD CORTEZ Not quit. BRUCE BLANK Looks like it’s unanimous Landon. LANDON MADDIX Look guys I’m sorry alright? I tried my best. And look on the bright side, it’s not like we’ve been kicked out of the federation or anything – we can turn this around guys!! Bruce just stares at Landon LANDON MADDIX ...I’m sorry alright? I apologize and I... BRUCE BLANK WE DON’T WANT EXCUSES!! WE DON’T WANT YOUR STINKIN' APOLOGIES LANDON!! Bruce takes another step toward Landon with his hands clenched. The big man raises his fist as Landon pushes himself back against the wall with his eyes shut tightly waiting for the blow. Then Bruce smiles and pads Landon on the shoulder instead BRUCE BLANK Lighten up bro, you’ll have a heart attack before you turn 30 if you keep being so on edge. LANDON MADDIX Bu... but I… Landon figures that right now he might be better served by shutting up. First time for everything I guess. BRUCE BLANK But you really need to toughen up Landon, especially if you’re planning on still hanging around with the Wildcards. War Games may have passed but the war is still going on, you know? Landon just slowly nods in response to Bruce’s suggestion that he toughens up. After the nod Bruce laughs and then puts his arm around Landon’s shoulder and drags the much smaller La Cucaracha with him. BRUCE BLANK You know I could teach you a thing or two Landon. * Fade Out *

COLE Before the break, we saw a rare, honourable side to Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick, as they came to D*LUX's aid and saved them from a sneak attack from Rico de Janeiro. And it seems like they proved themselves to D*LUX in the process, because this is what happened during the commercial break... [b][i]*STAR-WIPE~!*[/b][/i] Having just played the role of heroic nice-guys for probably the first time in their lives, Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick have stopped just past the curtains to collect themselves. Popick sits on an anvil case clutching his hand with gritted teeth while PRL, still fired up, is trying to calm himself back down. Behind them meanwhile the curtains ripple. PRL jumps, dropping into a stance ready to attack Rico once more. But it's not Rico, but D*LUX, who emerge. PRL Oh. Hey, you guys okay? JADE We're... fine. Is everything okay? PRL Ah well, Popick bent his finger back sliding into the ring, like the clutz he is. No big deal. POPICK No big deal!? This hurts like fu... PRL SO, we'd best get you to the trainer's room, eh Popick. Before you say something out of turn. PRL drags Popick to his feet and they begin to walk off, before finally Jade speaks up. JADE Thanks. PRL Wha... oh, don't mention it. We're just glad to have been assistance. It was actually kinda fun, running out there, the crowd cheering for a change, the sense of justice and... stuff. JADE Listen, me and the guys have been talking and with the match earlier, then what you did out there, we're willing to give you a chance. Stopping in their tracks, PRL and Popick wheel around with expectant smiles. JADE How does November Reign sound? PRL November Reign? Sounds great! As long as you're ALL sure that we're trustworthy enough. PRL raises The Corporate Eyebrow in D*LUX's direction, noticing that they still look a little sceptical. But it seems that's just the natural reaction from the head, but maybe not what the heart is saying... TYLER See you at November Reign. Extending their hands, Tyler and Shayne look to finalise the deal. And sure enough, PRL warmly shakes hands with the HI-YAH Tag Team Champions, Popick declining because of his injured finger but nodding in acceptance instead. [b][i]*STAR-WIPE~!*[/b][/i] COLE So, I guess that makes it official. Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick taking on D*LUX at November Reign, with the HI-YAH World Tag Team Championships on the line! Two great singles wrestlers, challenging one of the most cohesive teams in the OAOAST today. Should be a very interesting match Coach. COACH Until they start cheating. COLE I assume by 'they' you don't mean D*LUX. COACH PRL cannot be trusted. Jade should have learnt that lesson from her brother, she'll learn it at November Reign. COLE Why can't you ever be impartial. It's always one extreme or another with you.

"JUST ONE ON ONE THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY! JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT! JUST ONE ON ONE THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY! JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT!" "First To Believe" by A1 rocks through the arena and California shows their love for the California esque pretty boys, who are actually from Michigan, they be D*LUX. The HI-YAH Tag Champions rip open their dark blue denim jackets and show off the belts, popping some shapes to the beat as Jade Rodez follows. Warmly she waves out at some of the fans, despite clearly looking a little glum. But she does her job regardless, pointing the way for the duo, who hand-slap their way down the aisle. BUFFER The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall! Making their way to the ring, being accompanied to the ring by their manager, Ms. Jade Rodez. At a total combined weight of three hundred and ninety seven pounds. They are the reigning HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions... "Showtime" Shayne Brave and "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant. Together, they are D*LLLLUUUUUUUUUXXXXXXXXXXX!!!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Down the aisle come the boybanders, as Jade takes a quick detour over to the nearest camera and sends a message to her brother Leon to "Get well soon". BUFFER And in the ring... from Rio de Janeiro, two hundred twenty pounds, RICO DE JANEIRO! And his partner, from Albany, New York, weighing one hundred seventy nine pounds, TIMOTHY JACOBS! The jobbers get the usual reaction, Timothy waving to the crowd as Rico strokes the porn 'stache! COLE Okay, back to action here on HeldDOWN~! with the HI-YAH Tag Team Champions, continuing to ease their way back into action. And they're going to need to keep that ring rust away, if what we saw earlier tonight is anything to go by. Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick seem to have set their eyes on the HI-YAH Tag Titles and last week, they were told to prove themselves trustworthy enough to be given a shot. And to their credit, PRL and Popick did win earlier and did win it by the book. COACH Veeerry convenient. Notice how PRL and Popick are going after the nice guys' belts. COLE What does that mean. COACH Oh come on. This nice guy act might fool the 'modern meterosexual man' like you and D*LUX, but they're not fooling me. And notice they're not trying to fool The Sooner Bruisers into giving them a World Tag Title shot. I guess PRL doesn't fancy getting a 69 Driver and some enforced time off like The Marv, eh? COLE Conspiracy theories make you sound crazy, Coach. Especially when they're unfounded. D*LUX hand off the belts to Jade, who hasn't bothered making an entrance into the ring. Which is probably for the best, as Rico notices the turned backs of the champs and attacks from behind! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Rico de Janeiro, from behind! COACH I guess he's sick of playing enhancement. He's steppin' it up tonight! *DINGDINGDING!* Even Rico's partner seems shocked by the attack, stomping down Tyler and Shayne in turn. But Jacobs eventually takes his partner's lead and joins in with the kicks. Rico pulls Tyler out of the corner, leaving his partner to deal with Shayne as he plants The Tremendous One with a scoop slam, centre ring. Turning out to the LA crowd, an obviously appearance proud Rico strokes down the porno stache before backing off the ropes, strolling back and dropping the leg on Tyler... 1... 2... No! Coming back to his feet, the ruthless streak continues from Rico as he puts the boots to Tyler some more. Rico then yells over at his rookie partner. Calling the shots, Rico pins Tyler's arms behind his back and leaves him wide open for some bodyshots from Jacobs. COLE I don't think D*LUX were expecting this level of intensity from Jacobs and Rico. COACH They're going to have to get used to getting jumped from behind if they give PRL and Popick a titleshot. Calling a halt to the attack, Rico spins Tyler around and lands a knee to the gut. He then hauls Tyler up over his shoulder looking to put him in the Canadian Backbreaker. But the slippery boybander slips out of his grip, landing behind the Brazilian and dropkicking him in back. Like any good boyband, D*LUX move in unison. And at the same time as his partner dropkicking Rico, Shayne dropkicks Jacobs in the back, causing the opponents to clock heads! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Down goes Jacobs, as Tyler turns Rico around and pitches him to the floor. D*LUX quickly position themselves as Jacobs then stumbles back to his feet, groggily turning around... *SMACK!* *SMACK!* ...and getting KOed with stereo Superkicks! COLE Hit Me Baby One More Time! A shout-out to the newly divorced Ms. Spears. COACH I'm still celebrating. The rookie is probably there for the taking right now. But for some reason D*LUX decide they need to put an exclamation point on the win, hauling Jacobs up by an arm a-piece. Wringing out the arm, Tyler pulls Jacobs in a hoiks him up into a fireman's carry, parading him around. Shayne runs the ropes meanwhile, bumping Rico off the apron as he rebounds back and snatches Jacobs' head, Tyler coming down with the Samoan Drop as Shayne connects with the Neckbreaker! COLE And that's the Rock Your Body! Shayne keeps guard, while Tyler makes the pin... 1... 2... 3!!! "YYEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" COLE And D*LUX, impressive again *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Your winners of the match... the HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions, D*LUXXXXXXX!! The celebrations are cut short though, as the victorious boybanders are clattered from behind by Rico! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE What the... Rico obviously doesn't care that the match is over! COACH Rico's sick of paying his dues, he's showing the world he's here on HeldDOWN~! to do more than pick up a losers cheque week in and week out! Rico puts the puts to Shayne Brave, Jade not daring to get involved and Tyler unable to due to the clothesline to the back of the head he just got socked with. But suddenly the crowd come alive, all heads turning to the entrance way as help is on the way. Sprinting to the ring, THA PUERTO RICAN and STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK slide in and get Rico's attention. The Brazilian, running on adrenaline, doesn't think anything of the two on one odds and swings for Popick with a clothesline. But SJP ducks, causing Rico to sprawl right into the arms of Tha Puerto Rican and the LATIN SLAM!! COACH What the hell is this!? COLE It's The Puerto Rican and Popick with the save! And I'm as shocked as Jade Rodez seems to be! With the save made, PRL and Popick aren't hanging around. Popick exits the ring, making brief eye contact with Jade as she hovers on the ring steps and looks at her as if to say "do you trust us now?", while PRL stops to smell the elctricity, one foot on Rico's back just to look more dominant. COACH This is ridiculous! PRL and Popick have no business out here! COLE What are you talking about Coach? Without PRL and Popick, D*LUX would have been on the end of even more of a beatdown. COACH So? What business is that to Tha Puerto Rican or to Popick? Since when have they been so concerned about D*LUX's physical well-being? I'm telling you, they're just trying to suck up to D*LUX to get a titleshot, they're not fooling me. COLE Why is it that when somebody does the right thing for a change, there has to be some sinister motive. PRL and Popick are just trying to prove to D*LUX that they've changed, that's all. PRL and Popick stroll off to the back as back in the ring, Jade checks on her charges. It seems they were saved just in time though, Shayne just shaking off the attack while Tyler stares up at the rampway, looking curiously at the exiting PRL.

House Rules isn't going to happen because...well, because it was sucking. A lot. So that's off the schedule. I might have to edit CW and DDD in tommorrow, so if it's not in before the show goes up, just leave a space and I'll deal with it tommorrow.

Battle Royal, eh. Well, if anything was going to get me to write even without 'actual' net access, it's that. Neato.

D*LUX in action Christian Wright vs. Dance Dance Dragon And, the LONG awaited House Rules Relay Match that everyone's been waiting for with so much baited breath!!

Suuure, give the belt back to the druggie. Nothing could go wrong there, huh? RVD was given his shot and he blew it (so to speak). Why you, as WWE owner not just as 'evil' Vince McMahon, would put the belt back on him just six months later after he so spectacularly fucked everything up in the first place is beyond me. Punk isn't ready for the belt, but RVD doesn't deserve it.

No show, right here. My harddrive died last weekend and I'm only online temporarily (I'm on a friend's computer now telling everyone why I haven't been around and shit) and I doubt I'll be back on by Sunday. So, don't wait around for me. Sucks too, I was psyched about writing a Chamber Match. Not just because I would have won. Bonus points to anyone who writes me winning the Cruiser Title.

My harddrive is dead and I've had no net access until now. And I don't know when I will have it back (I'm on a friend's computer now replying to PMs and telling everyone why I haven't been around, incase you were all worrying *tumbleweed rolls by* yeah.). So, nothing this week I'm afraid.

Yeah, but I still wouldn't know what match I was writing, even if I knew who I was writing as . Landon the character is fine to use regardless, seeing as he'll be wrote by someone else.

Well, if who's writing what isn't announced until midnight tommorrow, then I'm not going to see the card until Monday, so you're going to have to give me the show off I'm afraid.

Colombian Heat match is up, as is an O'Hara match. No 6 Man Tag, that'll be saved for next week, sorry.

The first ever Austin/McMahon 'match', with Dude Love's interference. Weird to think back then how much that match really meant something, or seemed to really mean something, at the time where as now the authority figure character's been so over-used. The build towards the 'match' was great. Plus, Dude Love. DX's impression of The Nation. The Outlaws joining DX during the Cage Match with Cactus/Funk. Plus, the Foley "It's not worth it anymore" promo from the week after. Also, the Radicals 10 Man Tag and Kane's return.

That's an awesome looking couple of cards. But (and maybe as a Brit I'm bias) AJ vs. Pac could very well steal the show, if not the weekend, if Pac is on his game.

It'd be on the HD board, not the main board. Not sure if that was clear. That'd probably be the way to go though, lock the thread and go by PMs.

Who voted no and why do they stink?