King Cucaracha

House Rules Relay Ranking Tag Team Battle Royal The Sk8ter Boiz vs. The Love Doctors vs. Hell's Hitmen vs. NRG vs. The South Central Militia vs. The Lone Star Gunslingers

Uhm...yeah. So, I'm not usually around on weekends. So I take it what Tony means by that is that he'll be posting anything that's late. I think. I can compile stuff up to Friday afternoon for definate. After that, iffy. So, if you're sending after Thursday then send everything to Tony as well, just to clarify, as I probably won't be around at the weekend to compile and post fully. Unless you want a Monday Syndicated. You don't want that. I know you don't. Also, main event is most certainly called. And it's something big.

The catering area has been taken over, but unlike Sunday night at World Without End it's an organised takeover. As OAOAST officials and arena security surround the area, six teams are sat around six seperate tables. The Love Doctors, The South Central Militia, The Sk8ter Boiz, The Lone Star Gunslingers, NRG and Hell's Hitmen are all sat and apparantly waiting for something or someone. Looking like the weirdest police line-up you've ever seen in your life (except, they're not actually lined up), the six teams talk amongst themselves with some awkward looks being exchanged between the warring duos. MARV I don't know, I haven't heard from her since Sunda... *AHHHEEEM!* All heads turn as ice-cool, Bohemoth strolls into view. Like a shot each of the twelve start to scramble out of their chairs, but Bohemoth holds his hands up and stops them, reminding them this is supposed to be a cival meeting as Josh Matthews cowers nervously in the background. BOHEMOTH Go ahead Josh. MATTHEWS Right. Uhm, well, you've all been called here today to settle the situation over the 24/7 Title that started on Sunday. Obviously, with the title on the line 24/7, it's hard to organise the division. But it's clear that twelve into one doesn't go. Especially after Sunday, when you all began fighting each other rather than the champion. This sort of chaos isn't good for the backstage atmosphere... both figuratively and literally. BOHEMOTH It was only a little explosion. MATTHEWS It blew up my rental car. Matthews glares over at Hell's Hitmen's table, for a second, before they glower back and send Josh cowering again. MATTHEWS Anyway, an edict has come down from OAOAST Head Offices to nip this little problem in the bud, before it can get out of control. Bohemoth has already agreed to the terms of what's been decided and I'm sure you all will too. Each of you will get your chance to challenge for the 24/7 Title. And not only that, you will be able to do so under your own rules and environments. We're calling it the House Rules Relay. And the ru... BIFF Uhm, question. MATTHEWS Yes? BIFF Isn't House Rules and SWF thing? MATTHEWS ...I'm just the messenger, okay. Anyway, next week we'll be having a Tag Team Battle Royal with you twelve, which will determine order of entry in the Relay. But it will be Bohemoth's entry, not yours. Six interjoining rooms or 'sets' will be set up, each set up to your own specifications by some of Hollywood's top and cheapest set designers. So, Love Doctors, you could have yours set up to be maybe a hospital waiting room, or Hell's Hitmen's could be... uhm... hell? Sadist smiles and nods. Creepy. MATTHEWS Anyway, there'll be joining doors to and from each room. Bohemoth's task will be to go from room one, to room two, all the way out of room six and therefore retain the title. Problem is, the doors will all be locked from the inside, meaning Bohemoth must claim a key hidden in each room to unlock them. Your task will be to either pin Bohemoth or make him submit, at which point the match would end. So, by winning the battle royal you get room number one and guarantee a shot at Bohemoth. Obviously, with each room there's a chance Bohemoth will not get through intact, with the greatest respect to you Bo... BOHEMOTH Thanks. MATTHEWS ...so if you're the first team out of the Battle Royal, you'll have to hope Bohemoth makes it through the first five rooms to get your shot. So, good luck next week in the Battle Royal and we'll be in touch about the sets. We'll have them set up in a few weeks and then, you'll get your shot in the Relay. Thank you. Sensing more trouble about to break at any moment, Josh quickly scuttles off. Security and referees are ready incase we get another twelve man brawl but for now everyone seems pretty content with the announcement. Even Bohemoth, who despite the prospect of having to go through twelve men in a few weeks, cooly adjusts his shades and strides off. COLE House Rules Relay? COACH Cute name. COLE Well next week we've got a big six team Battle Royal and then, some flatout craziness to come. As if we haven't got enough craziness around here already.

COLE We're four days removed from World Without End and right now we wanna take the time to thank everyone who joined us, Sunday night live on PPV. Encore presentations are currently running and we encourage to check local listings if you missed it. We're still getting over what went down at the end of that show, an incident which may have changed the face of the OAOAST forever. A crazy situation and... Suddenly, in mid preamble we cut backstage. With his head down, the body language of a beaten man and no OAOAST World Championship over waist or shoulder, Puerto Rican Lightning has arrived in the building. Following a few steps behind, Stephen Joseph Popick seems equally as dejected as both stroll down the hallways in search of their locker room. Although, to be fair, it's not clear if PRL really knows where he's going. He's just walking on auto-pilot. COLE Well, there's PRL, the victim of that incident at World Without End and understandably, not looking his usual self. COACH And who can blame him. COLE Love PRL or hate him, what went down Sunday night was plain wrong and you can't help feeling for the guy. To lose with the World Title on the line under any circumstances is crushing to any wrestler, let alone PRL who's so desperate to be the Champion of this company. But...we all saw what happened. PRL continues on down the hallways. All eyes are locked on The Corporate Champion as he passes by, head down. The usual arrogance isn't there. His usual walk, head high, nose turned up at the world, gone. And most unusually of all, people seem to be sympathetic towards him. Despite all the insults, all the wrong doings, people seem to be actually feeling sympathy for Tha Puerto Rican. Random faces, backstage workers, some of the backstage crew watch on. D*LUX and Jade Rodez stop in mid-conversation as PRL passes, losing their trains of thought and their conversation seems to turn to something else. Big Jumbo shakes his head in the background. Christian Wright, former associate of Popick, gives the "Career Consultant" a quick pat on the back. POPICK Yo, PR, this way. Stopping, PRL realises his missed the turning and groans. Wiping a hand over his head Tha Puerto Rican drags himself around as Popick leads the way into the locker room... ...as suddenly, something flies through the air, landing right on PRL's head. "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Reaching up, PRL pulls the offending white towel from his head and growls under his breath. The towel is gripped tight in hand and if it were possible for cotton to break under pressure, it would be right now, The Puerto Rican looking tempted to tear the towel clean in half. PRL throws the towel to the ground and whips around to see where the towel came from, half expected a smug World Champion or a certain associate to be waiting on him. But instead, he finds someone he's not too familiar with. Leant up against a wall, the scrawny figure of OAOAST 6-Man Tag Team Champion Jamie O'Hara seems all too casual. PRL raises the Corporate Eyebrow in his direction, prompting The Birmingham Bad Boy to pull himself off the wall. PRL Do you think... this is funny? O'HARA Who me? PRL Do you THINK... that this is FUNNY!? O'HARA Yo, chill out dawg, I'm jus' playin'. Man, be easy! PRL growls again but manages to control his temper. The last thing he's concerned with now is some mouthy little punk. O'HARA Blllllllllllllllllaat! Ha-ha! With his index and middle fingers aimed right at the back of PRL's head, O'Hara impression of a automated weapon isn't quite on the level of that guy from Police Academy. But the point gets across. And as PRL turns around again, this time, there's no containing his anger. PRL AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! With a primal scream PRL suddenly charges O'Hara and tackles him into the wall, knocking the wind out of The Birmingham Bad Boy, allowing him to wrestle him to the floor. PRL then proceeds to try and take out all his frustrations on O'Hara and he fires off some wild right hands, O'Hara trying to cover up as down rain the punches. PRL has completely lost it. Luckily for O'Hara though, out of the locker room rushes Stephen Joseph Popick again. Popick dives in and drags his buddy off of the scrawny Englishman who starts kicking out at PR. Referees and officials are eventually on the scene and pin O'Hara back as Popick manages to drag Tha Puerto Rican, kicking and screaming (quite literally) into their locker room. The door audibly locks behind them, PRL's muffled ranting and raving still audible, as O'Hara shoves the referees away and dusts himself off. O'HARA Why you holdin' me back!? I had that bitch! (towards the door) Oi! You jus' made a mistake, prick! I'm'a cap you, you hear!? I'm'a get you biatch! You ain't 'erd the last of me! Referees again step in and start to drag O'Hara away from the locker room door, which PRL seems to be attempting to kick in from the inside, as not before time we go back to Doub'C at ringside. COLE Jamie O'Hara picked the wrong time and the wrong person to be a loudmouth too. COACH This place is crazy. Times like this, I wish I had my gun... COLE Ahem! COACH ...license. Gun [i]license[/i]. I don't actually own any. COLE Right. COACH I just shoot squirrels. Honest. They're vermin.

Aside from the 20 odd times they've already run Booker vs. Lashley? Like, to death? Thank God they changed it too, it's not like their matches were all that special in the first place.

Organised chaos in the 24/7 division, as an announcement comes down from OAOAST Head Office.

Well, it's already been 'feedbacked' better and more eloquently than this, but a promise is a promise. Black T/Sooner Bruisers I believe the term is 'basks in the glory' rather than baskets. Didn't expect Drek and Hoff's cameo, but it makes sense if you've been paying attention. Nice set-up for the sympathy spots for both Black and then Brannigan, plus a little bit of tension between the two. And a nice, if a little unexpected, finish to protect both teams. Nothing more old school than stoppage for blood-loss. Seemed to move a little fast maybe, not as much of an 'epic' (ie long) as I'd expected it to be. Did it's job though. And it least it had a proper finish, unlike another tag match on the show, winkwink. Borrough Boys/Jumbo and Jamaica Having not feedbacked HD in forever, I'll say so here, Alf's been the MVP of this place the past few months. And again, he's bringing the content. Apart from trying to keep track of who's who with five new(ish) characters, a nice little six man. Giant Swing = awesome. Make that six new(ish) characters. I'm liking the little Chamber snippets Alf did too. GPX/Martial Law I'm sorry. The promo was decent though, right? PRL/Popick segment When the hell did everyone suddenly decide to write non-match segments for PPVs? Good little snippet to set up PRL being a little insecure about Popick. 24/7 segment 1 Again, when the hell did everyone suddenly decide to write non-match segments for PPVs? Longdogger/Knight Nice to see we're playing up on the SWF aspect still. Mixed crowd reactions seem to be all the rage nowadays too. Kayfabe is dead. Good story behind the match, with the leg versus the back. I honestly expected Pete to go over in the end, for a number of reasons, so consider me suitably swerved. A well written brawl, though the ending seemed to come from nowhere. Again, not that I can talk, I just calls them how I sees them. Usual Suspects/Dead Precedents For all this talk about Dead Precedents, how many times did Bruce and Rando actually tag together in the SWF? Has it been a year since Usual Suspects last tagged. Bugger me this year has gone quick. The spot with Zack getting thrown into the crowd brought back some old ECW memories. Can't remember from what match, but still. The whole match had a strong vibe of ECW at it's best. Really strong match, lot of emotion behind it. Heartland Invitational Chamber of Hell II I love Alfdogg, master of cheapheat. Always good, even if I as a Limey don't get most of the references. I forgot that the Chamber of Hell isn't the same set-up as the Elimination Chamber with the elevated steel floor, so I was going to ask why they were going underneath the ring. Silly me. Markout for the cactus. Straight up Cage Of Death. Flaming dodgeballs has got to be a new one though. Fantastic. THAT MUST BE...THAT MUST BE KANE! Interesting ending to a great, crazy match, patented Alf. Maybe with Alf and Bruce, we should (god forbid) try the Deathmatch Tournament from License 2 Pin again. Maybe this time it wouldn't be such a washout. ME video segment Yet again, when the hell did everyone suddenly decide to write non-match segments for PPVs? Very comprehensive recap. Yay. Not sure what else to say really. 24/7 segment 2 Once more, when the hell did everyone suddenly decide to write non-match segments for PPVs? Please don't stop. PRL/Drek Okay, so I hate to be critical, but I'm really not sure what to think of the ending either. I wasn't 100% sure about Zack's angle either, so maybe I've just got a weak disposition or something. I dunno. Other than that (and it might just be me anyway, let's be fair) a really great match. The interaction with Hoff and Drek really added something and I loved the promo from HD last week with Drek reminding Hoff to hate him so he wouldn't throw in the towel if called on.

You might not get much, if anything, from me. Hopefully I can scramble something together, but I feel rough as hell right now so who knows. Just a heads up.

GPX/Martial Law is in. Sorry everyone. Even sorrier for those who waste their time going back to read it. I've got a bitch of a cold which makes writing a sensical match a tad tough. Feedback to come. Honestly. SWF thing. I'd do a highlight package up about it but a: it's not that important at the moment and b: it'd be roughly as long as the first half of the PPV put together. I think I got the jist of it in the promo.

Or started (?) .

After his run-in with four prospective 24/7 challengers earlier in the night, it seems Bohemoth has decided it's time to call it a night. Strolling through the quiet parking lot, Bo just has to remember where he parked his rental car now. With a nice hotel suite, night long room service, maybe even a cold ice bucket stacked to the brim with expensive champagne, there's no real reason why Bo should be in the arena. Champion's perks, see. And besides that, the worst he'd have to deal with in Room 93 would be a couple of busboys and perhaps the guy who sets out the complimentary pillow mints trying to take his belt. Here, who knows who's going to confront him next. Here's a clue. It's THE SOUTH CENTRAL MILITIA! VINNY Yo! Goin' somewhere, bigman? BOHEMOTH Oh no. (checks Rolex) Don't tell me it's 'cryme time'. MOE Bitch, it's always crime time when we're around! MELODY Straight up representin' dawgs. Appearing from the shadows, Melody Nerdly's presence is a surprise to everyone. Even Vinny and Moe, whom she stands between, trying to look hip as she rests her hands around the waistband of her jeans, bopping her head to a non-existant hip-hop beat. MELODY Looks like homeboy be straight trippin' if he belie' he's gettin' home safe tonight. He wandered into da hood, ya heard? And now, it's gonna go down, gangland styleeee. From the window to the wall, till the sweat drips from my... well, you know the rest. Bounce. Everybody is rightly confused... ...giving Hell Mel and The Marv, THE SK8TER BOIZ, the perfect opportunity to attack from the dark and jump the Militia! Mel and Marv end up on the backs of Vinny and Moe, swinging wildly at their respective targets' heads. Moe manages to throw Mel off of him and stomps him down onto the gravel, Marv still battling with Santana. For whatever reason, Melody leaves as quickly as she had arrived, slurping on a thick-shake she must have hidden from view before. Meanwhile, the battle continues. And, then, escalates. From the apparantly never ending darkness, THE LONESTAR GUNSLINGERS jump into the battle, getting their licks in on the four, soon to be joined by NRG and THE LOVE DOCTORS, who must have brawled all the way from catering to get here. It's now a ten man melee, everybody aiming for the closest person to them. [b]*BOOM!*[/b] Suddenly, a huge plume of firey orange smoke erupts in the corner of the parking lot. That must have cost the pyro department something. Everyone's heads abruptly turn, as through the flaming fog here come HELL'S HITMEN, back from months of obscurity and ready for a fight!! JINGUS and The Sadist stride into battle, swinging for the hills. It's Marv vs. Pigley. JINGUS vs. Moe. Vinny vs. Biff. Flex vs. Anderson. Sadist vs. Windels. Mulligan vs. Mel. And the only man unscathed? Bohemoth. Watching these twelve men tearing into each other with an understandably bemused expression, the 24/7 Champion seems tempted to remind everybody that he's the one they should be going after. But, the twelve seem happy enough beating on each other. So, shrugging his shoulders, Bo turns off in the other direction, casually wrapping an arm around Melody Nerdly who goes along with this coolest of pick-up techniques simply because Bo = cool. BOHEMOTH Let's go get a drink. MELODY (slurps from beverage cup) Sure thing hunky stranger. Want a sip of my whiskey? BOHEMOTH ...no, I'm good.

Back we go to catering, where those unlucky enough not to find themselves on the show have converged to watch the show. And stuff their faces with complimentary free food. But mainly to watch the show, which so far has been one hell of a show, even if I do say so myself, with many great matches already in the... ooh, is that chocolate cake? Excuse me. Mmm, good cake. Anyway, Biff Atlas and Flex Phillips are there for some reason. I don't know why. Man, this cake is goooood. FLEX I really don't think you should be eating that heart attack sandwich. BIFF (carrying giant burger) What? There's lettuce in here. Biff takes a huge bite out of the burger, which threatens to fall apart due to the mountain of filling. BIFF (with mouth full of food) Biff Pose: Flavour Country. FLEX Yeah. I still don't think that's healthy. You grow an extra chin and I'm gonna have to find another guy to market our NRG merchandise with. Nobody's gonna buy our Guava Lava Juice Drinks if they think it'll make them more attractive to giant walruses. Or, should that be walrusi? BIFF Relax, The Biff'll just stick a protein bar underneath the bun and it'll even itself out. FLEX ...hadn't thought of that. Touché. BIFF And besides, who are you gonna find to replace The Biff? Right on cue, Bohemoth strolls past, giving a cool nod to the NRG duo as he approaches the counter. His usual snappy suit is on and the orange tinted shades are being rocked. The only difference now is, Bo can set off the ensemble with the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt. Bo makes his order from the window while Biff drops his burger with a big, special sauce smile. BIFF Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Flex nods and the two quickly approach Bo, the new 24/7 Champ turning around curiously... *WHAM!* ...and taking a right hand to the face from Biff! FLEX ...oh. Okay, that works too. NRG quickly pounce on their fellow muscleman, laying in the boots as referee Charles Robinson drops his pasta bazool and dives into action. The rest of the crowd of people do what crowds tend to do- they crowd around and watch the fight. Biff and Flex continue with the stomps, Biff taking another chunk out of his burger as he goes, before finally Flex assumes control and drags Bo back to his feet. A big right rocks Bo against a vending machine. In wades Biff with some more kicks, putting a little arrogant snap behind each one, until Bo fights back with a hard punch to the gut! Flex takes over with his own kicks, pinning Bohemoth against the vending machine, ignoring the fact that his partner is now choking on a mouthful of meat. BIFF (choking) Ach! Agg-uchh-ahach! ROBINSON DOES ANYBODY KNOW THE HEIMLICH!? For no reason whatsoever, "Bad Case Of Loving You (Doctor, Doctor)" by Robert Palmer plays through the canteen, cutting to a wideshot as down the hallway in super slow-mo run The Love Doctors, their labcoats waving behind them like comic book capes! Doctor, doctor, give me the news I've got a bad case of lovin' you No pill's gonna cure my ill I've got a bad case of lovin' you Brushing past those stupid enough to be moving in regular speed (read: everyone but The Docs), Drs Pigley and Anderson make their dramatic entrance, skidding to a halt and RIPPING off their lab coats. DR. STEVEN Stand back... DR. PIGLEY ...I'm a doctor! Robinson quickly points out the problem to the heroic medical experts, who rush over...before noticing the 24/7 Champion being beaten down, shoving Biff to the floor and joining in the attack on Bohemoth! Luckily for Biff, he lands on the seat of a discarded chair, the blow to the stomach enough to dislodge the hunk of food lodged in his larynx. Trust me. It may not be hard science, but it's science damnit. "ONE!" "TWO!" Bo throws a shoulder up from the pinfall attempt by Pigley, Flex throwing the Doc away, but ignoring Anderson as he tries his luck "ONE!" "TWO!" Another kickout by Bo. In the meantime, Dr. Steven takes a head-first spill into the front of the vending machine, the power going out from the force while Dr. Max takes a cafeteria chair to the back courtesy of Biff! Biff takes Anderson by the head and over comes Flex, together NRG setting him up and dropping him down across a table with a Double Flapjack! The hard cafeteria table doesn't break like those puny wooden ones out under the ring, instead tipping over and giving Anderson another bump to nurse. Or doctor, I guess. *WHIP-TOOSH~!* NRG high-five, celebrating their show of power. But in the background, little do they realise that Dr. Steven Pigley has set up a chair and is now dragging himself up onto the top of the vending machine. Eventually someone in the faceless crowd points the perched doctor out to the muscleheads, Biff and Flex turning around... AND GETTING TAKEN OUT WITH A SOMERSAULT DIVE OFF THE VENDING MACHINE BY PIGLEY!!! "YYEEEEEAAAAHHHH!" The crowded catering area goes wild for the high-risk dive, all four men down as Bohemoth drags himself up. Brushing off his sharp tailored suit, Bo glances over at the carnage with little more than a slight grimace as he shakes his head. BOHEMOTH Nuts to this. And with that, Bohemoth is indeed on his way, strolling off as if nothing had happened, leaving behind him four bodies strewn across the catering area.

In the only locker room in the arena crummy enough to have been allocated to The Wildcards, Todd Cortez is going through some finishing touches, wrapping his roll of athletic tape tight around his right hand in preperation for some punch duty later in the night. Head down, Cortez is lost to the world, fully focused on the night ahead. Except for some footsteps. Some female sounding, heel clacking footsteps. A shapely shadow hovers over Todd for a moment before the female sits down on the seat in front of him, Todd's hand-wrapping slowing gradually down into a stop as his focus is now stead forward. CORTEZ Megan. MEGAN Todd. You can cut the tension with a knife as the former lovebirds glare respective holes through each other, neither pleased with the situation they've been put in tonight. Cortez finishes up with the tape and rips away the last strand, throwing the empty roll across the room and standing up to go through some warm-ups. ..... CORTEZ I can't believe you ended up back with him. The warm-ups didn't last long. Todd gets through a couple of squats before turning back to his former beau, unable to resist saying something for any longer. MEGAN What can I say, me and Landon were meant to be together. I just wish I'd realised it earlier. CORTEZ After all we went through with him. You must not have much in the way of self-respect anymore. MEGAN I think you got in in the seperation actually. CORTEZ He was a jerk to you. MEGAN Both of us. CORTEZ Well, I didn't go crawling back to him with my tail between my legs. I call that a moral victory. MEGAN And you just LOVE your precious morals, don't you Todd? Those archaic, Victorian England morals that mean a woman must be seen and not heard? Cortez groans, sitting back down in front of Megan, running a hand over his head. CORTEZ I always looked out for you. MEGAN I'm a manager Todd, it's what I do! I do it better than anyone else! And you wouldn't let me manage you. For months I sat on the sidelines, collecting my wages and doing nothing to deserve them. Months. CORTEZ I was trying to protect you. MEGAN It was 2005 Todd, not 1905! I don't NEED protecting! CORTEZ You really think Landon cares about you? MEGAN Of course he does! CORTEZ Because you tell him to, right? Megan snarls under her breath. This could get ugly. MEGAN At least Landon listens to me. CORTEZ You know what, you're obviously better off with him. You obviously prefer relationships where you're the one with all the balls. MEGAN Did you want to know what it's like? Because, I can tell you. CORTEZ I'm not all that interested in what you and your wife get up to, to be honest. MEGAN Blow it out of your ass. CORTEZ She-witch! MEGAN Street-scum! CORTEZ White-trash! Insults traded, the former partners glower at each other, close to coming to blows and only just holding themselves from doing so. All for one reason. MADDIX Yo Yo YO! By the magic of convenient timing, Landon Maddix appears in the background, positioned right between the two warring parties. Todd groans and leans back in his seat, as Megan rolls her eyes at her man's attempts to be 'hip' and/or 'with it'. MADDIX Oh, so street talk is out? Street talk is out. Good to know. Maddix strolls over, leaning in and giving Megan a peck on the cheek. He seems completely oblivious to the fact that Megan's ex is sitting no more than two feet away and the fact this might not be appropriate. But, hey, that's Landon. MADDIX So, what are we talking about? ... MEGAN Sports. CORTEZ Yeah...sports. MADDIX Heh, you guys don't give me much credit do you? It's only been a year and a half you know. You used to use that excuse when you were doing the secret dating thing, because you know my utter disinterest for any American sports what-so-ever would let you get on with your conversation without me. Which means... The cogs in Landon's head are slowly, painfully churning towards putting 2 and 2 together... MEGAN :D ...until Megan cuts in with some over-enthused laughter. MEGAN See, I told you he'd remember! Ha! No, Landon, we were just talking about old times and how we're all better of as we are now, [i]right Todd[/i]. CORTEZ Definately better off. MADDIX Really? Honest? CORTEZ Yeah. No hard feelings here. You two... let's just say, you [i]really[/i] deserve each other. Standing up again, Cortez brushes past the oblivious Next Generation and strides off out of the locker room, slamming the door behind him. And, still oblivious, Maddix watches on with a smile, dusting his hands with satisfaction as he sits in Todd's vacated chair, leaning back and kicking his feet up. MADDIX Well, that's a relief. And to think, I thought this'd be awkward! MEGAN Yeah... silly you.

And yet both known drug abusers, who've both been outright released for those very reasons, Jeff Hardy and Marty Jannetty have both been given (yet) another chance and another contract with WWE since it came into force. And Scorpio, although he's not on the same level as the two mentioned. Nobody is really in the right here.

MATTHEWS Right now, I'm joined by the former 24/7 Champion Landon Maddix and Megan Skye... Clearly, Landon doesn't appreciate the (other) f-bomb from Matthews and glares around at him, which goes unnoticed by the nerdy reporter as Megan quickly calms her man down. MATTHEWS ...hoping to get the big scoop on the big announcement, coming out of last week's show. Landon, it's officially signed for World Without End, you and a partner of your choosing against the former OAOAST Tag Team Champions of the world, The Global Party Exchange. All that's left now is for you to announce who the partner is. So... MADDIX It's Michael Stephens. Josh, bless him, seems a little confused. Maybe that's because he expected a little banter before the announcement, maybe because the name Michael Stephens means nothing to him whatsoever. MATTHEWS Uhm...I'm sorry, who? MADDIX Heh. See, that's why I question why you're even here Josh Matthews. An OAOAST reporter, with little to no knowledge of the outside world, interviewing a multi-federation megastar. Ill advised, if you ask me. See, I could reel off a list of names from my SWF roladex and you'd be clueless. I could say I was going to team up with El Luchadore Magnifico. Or Dace Night. Or, perhaps even the enigmatic Exploding Chicken. MATTHEWS Exploding Chicken? The guy who referee Miami Mayhem, that's your partner? MADDIX ...I forgot you know him. Look, the point is, I could say any number of names from my laundry list of SWF buddies... they love me over there, god bless 'em... and not you, nor The GPX, would have any idea what they're in for. Fact is, my SWF Tag Team Championship partner and current World and Cruiserweight Champion, Michael Stephens, will NOT be my partner. I couldn't convince him to sully himself by coming over here, sadly. But that's okay. Really, I don't want an SWF superstar as my partner. Their opinion is slightly tilted against the OAOAST. To show that he's thinking, Landon scratches his chin. MADDIX Come to think of it, that's why I've had such a problem choosing a partner in the first place. It seems the boys in the locker room may have slightly misunderstood some of what I said when I arrived here in the OAOAST and are a little... 'slow'... to warm to me. MATTHEWS You said that compared to the SWF, the OAOAST locker room is (unfurls a piece of paper) "like a group of, to steal a phrase, "glorified stuntmen", [i]playing[/i] at wrestling." MADDIX Well researched. MATTHEWS Thank you. MADDIX Now, if you remember, I also said that I'm not here to 'kill this company'. I'm here to BE this company. I am the Saviour Of The OAOAST! Not to neccessarily rid the locker room of those people as to convert them. Which makes my choice that bit harder. See, without the support of the OAOAST locker room, I was left with limited options. Limited options of who I could trust. People I knew. People who shared a common bond with me. And then, last week, that list of options limited itself to one. So, I'm left with no other choice to name my partner as... a member of The Wildcards, of which I have no affiliation I might add... ...Todd Cortez everyone! Come on in buddy. Slow on the uptake, apparantly, Josh now realises why Todd Cortez was standing off screen and waiting for his cue to step into camera shot. Not making eye contact with either Megan or Maddix, Cortez positions himself the other side of Matthews and folds his arms, looking every bit anything but the tag partner of Landon. MADDIX See, I'm not a Wildcard and some of what they do is evil and stuff, yadda yadda, but the fact is Todd Cortez is the only man in this godforsaken place I'd even contemplate teaming with under my own will. You talk about The GPX being former OAOAST Tag Team Champions. Well, me and Todd here, we're former SWF Tag Team Champions. We are every inch the team the boyband badboys claim to be. We ar...WHAT!? What is it!? Landon notices Josh's confused looks back and forth and finally has had enough. MATTHEWS Well... it's just... don't you two... hate each other? CORTEZ That's tru... MADDIX Hate is such a strong word, Josh! Sure, myself and my streetwise partner have had some minor creative differences in the past... MATTHEWS You two won Feud Of The Year in the SWF just one year ago. CORTEZ And I won that fe... MADDIX How can you know that and not know who Michael Stephens is!? (groans) Look, me and Todd aren't the best of friends, that's no secret. But I'm not one to hold a grudge. To the side, Cortez rolls his eyes. If there were ever a line that was specifically not intended to come out of the mouth of Landon Maddix, it would either be that, or maybe "Ego, what ego?". Tough call. MADDIX Maybe we're not good friends. Maybe a little too much water has passed under the bridge for us to really 'get along'. But we have a common bond. An SWF bond. We also, admittedly, have a history together, some bad, but some very good. We were a great team once in a while. And you don't just lose that ability to team naturally with someone. Todd Cortez is no stranger to The GPX and I am confident that together, we can collect ourselves enough to put the past to the side and in the name of our seperate 'missions' in the OAOAST, get together and put The GPX down at World Without End. Maybe for Cortez it's about some crazy bloodlust, trying to take the OAOAST over for... whatever crazy reasons he may have. Cortez rolls his eyes again. MADDIX Unlike my urban gangsta compatriot beside me, I'm not here to ruin this company and single people out for abuse for no reason. With me, The GPX brought it on themselves. My problem wasn't with them, it was with Jade Rodez and her own personal pep squad. This issue had nothing to do with The Global Party Exchange to begin with. Infact, my only crime against them was helping them to victory one week on this very show. But as much as I don't share my former SWF buddies' stance, I'm certainly no pushover. So The GPX want to be ungrateful? They want a fight? So be it. Outsider or not, I'm not going to lay down and be trodden on like some... CORTEZ Some cockroach? MADDIX ...some cockroach! I'm no cockroach, I'm "La Cucaracha"! I'm Landon Maddix! And Global Party Exchange, I've just declared Martial Law on your asses!! C'mon, we're done here. Landon signals openly for anyone to follow him and Megan does so. Curiously, or maybe not so curiously, Cortez takes one look at The Next Generation, sighing under his breath as he skulks off in the other direction. All leaving Josh Matthews, alone, save for his microphone and camera. MATTHEWS Todd Cortez and Landon Maddix. A little disfunctional, by the looks of things, but tag team partners at World Without End. Back to ringside.

Pie Match? Thoth ruled. That said, with this stip I've got absolutely nothing, I'm sorry.

That's a pretty good line-up, assuming it stays that way, as much as possible. If anything, there's not quite enough IWA 'regulars'. But other than that, good line-up.

Ah, but that was before I had the feedback to tell me I needed to be more...well, for the want of a better word, 'imaginative', in those sort of matches. This has to be the most boring setting for anything, ever on the face of the earth. (Except maybe the Big Brother House.)

Tour schedule says Houston, but last week's show says different. So, your guess is as good as mine.

I saw that, it's Steen. I heard it mentioned somewhere, but where exactly I can't remember. Might have been a CZW promo. Ditto.

Uhm, wow. This is great news for TNA, until Angle steps in the ring and starts eroding his neck again. And the trouble is, there's no way Angle will be content to sit out for a month or two without wrestling or at the very least getting in a physical angle. I don't know what to think really. I don't think it's right and I don't think it's classy, but everyone's going to watch regardless. Desperate times call for desperate measures and this is a desperate measure if ever there was one. Then again, if we're going to hell, might as well enjoy the ride.

Alf, I've got something planned with O'Hara after WWE. I'm fine with the title change, just let me know when you plan to do it, so there's no clash with anything else. First HD after WWE should be okay though.

How about, anywhere?

Having watched him in NOAH, I'd say it's good news. He's bulked about a little from his Flash Funk days, so I could see him fitting in a little better. I say 'a little', because I half-expect him to turn up on RAW for no reason other than everyone turns up on RAW. Assuming he goes to ECW or Smackdown (if Booker really was pushing for him), it's a good signing. We need a pool on how long before somebody calls him 'Flash Funk'. I say 5 weeks in ECW (by Striker), 3 weeks if he's on RAW (by Edge), or as soon as he comes through the curtains if on Smackdown (JBL).