King Cucaracha

Steel Cage Showdown~! Bohemoth vs. Christian Wright Can I call the main event slot this week?

If you do Madison Cubed Garden while I'm away, I'm gonna be pissed.

And you don't know STILL, people! In other speculation, Rando hasn't had a character overhaul in a 'while', so I'm gonna say Alan Clark version 5(?).0.

I know Beefcake and Hogan vs. The Beverlys was on a home video release (Grudges, Grunts and Gripes), may very well have been one of those two. What was the storyline behind Tugboat turning heel and joining Quake?

But, they're nondescript nobodies now. The quintessential form of that. Ask your common wrestling fan who any of the singular members are, and they won't know. But they do know who the Spirit Squad as a group are. And that's what they're booked as, a group, rather than singular workers. I don't mind the idea of Doane leaving, but if they're splitting the group then it's a dumb move. I realise everyone here is thinking 'Oh, the gimmick is a joke, they're never going to be taken seriously'...well no shit, that's the point. Leena's right, they shouldn't ditch the gimmick altogether. Maybe it's because I'm from the era of dumb gimmicks and I've got a soft spot for filling the midcard with some goofier, fun gimmicks (anything from Repo Man to Godfather) who actually have discernable features, rather than have everyone fit into two cookie cutter shapes- - Nice guy face - Cheating heel -or even worse, 5 generic OVW guys, which is all I can see them getting. Let's face it, nobody is going to give a shit about Johnny Jeter just because he says 'screw the Spirit Squad, I'm a serious wrestler damnit!' for the same reason nobody gives a shit about Gregory Helms. Because they have no character. And this isn't the X-Division...talent doesn't override reactions. Plus, all 5 are getting TV time with this gimmick. Out of the gimmick, they'll be lucky to get 2 segments between them. Anyone who can't see that and is just desperate to get rid of the 'ghey gimmick' needs to realise that the alternative is just boredom. I'd take a goofy, bordering on dumb gimmick over generic boredom any time.

Thank you cookie cutter WWE booking and making Kash a worthy Fantasy purchase for the first time since...well, ever.

[size=5][color=gold]**MACKENZIE DE CENZO PRODUCTIONS** *IN ASSOCIATION WITH THE OAOAST*[/size] *PROUDLY PRESENT*[/SIZE][/color] [color=gold][size=7]~~FRIENDS IN HI-YAH PLACES~~[/color][/size] ------------------------------------------------------ -Sunday, July 16th 10:50 PM (Japanese time)- BLANCHARD #Turning Japanese I think I'm turning Japanese I really think so# Ah, Karaoke! One of the weirdest and for my money the cruellest national cultures known to man, especially where HI-YAH World Tag Team Champion Ned Blanchard is involved. Never since Zack Malibu's attempt at stand-up comedy at the OAOAST Christmas party have one group of people looked so stunned and traumatised at one person's performance, as Ned proceeds to murder his particularly inappropriate song choice, "Turning Japanese" in front of 40 to 50 Japanese natives. Watching on from the back of the bar and pretending not to be affiliated with this Gaijin goofball is Mackenzie DeCenzo. Mackenzie sips from her drink, eyes squinted as Ned butchers a high note. SIMON (off camera) Is it just me, or do you sense a riot coming? MACKENZIE Unless we find a Japanese person who can mix a good martini, [i]I'm[/i] gonna riot. On stage, Ned brings his solo performance to a dramatic crescendo...and ignores the booing Japanese patrons, as he bows and thanks some imaginary people for their imaginary applause. Simon decides this isn't interesting footage and instead zooms in on a young Asian woman in the crowd. Unfortunately, the woman notices this and lets out a shriek. Which nobody seems to react to, considering the horrified shrieks that Ned has been earning the past four minutes, until some of the staff notice Simon's poorly concealed handheld camera and rush towards him. SIMON (off camera) Uh-oh. ------------------------------------------------------ -Sunday July 16th 10:53 PM (again, Japanese time)- Quick, vaguely professional cut to the open streets of Tokyo. Hunched over in pain, Ned breathes heavily, mainly due to having to carry the high-heel wearing Beverly Hills Blonds Business Consultant on his back while sprinting from a group of angry Asians. That'll do that to ya, trust me. SIMON (off camera) (out of breath) I think... we... lost them. MACKENZIE You're a menace to society with that damn camera. Right on cue, Simon begins to pan in on Mackenzie's rack, until he notices her scowling a hole through his head and quickly re-positions the camera on Ned. BLANCHARD Crazy damn country! I can't believe they're forcing us to defend our titles in this ass-backwards place! SIMON (off camera) Hey, can you say that again but accentuate the mouth movements? I'm thinking of doing some deliberately bad dubbing on this. You know, like Kung-Fu movies. BLANCHARD Another reason why I hate this country. I knew this acclimatising plan was stupid. We could have just watched Godzilla, back home in L.A, then caught the last flight over before our match, instead of having to spend a full fortnight over here. But noooo. How could we miss out on the fun of Japan? We wouldn't be eating raw fish, drinking toxic fluids that barely pass for alcohol, trying to converse with people speaking jibberish. Sure, the karaoke was fun and there's some very impressionable women, but half of them walk around dressed like weird rabbit type characters... MELODY Yeah, fuck that noise! ..... All heads (and cameras) turn, as for no particular reason what-so-ever, Melody Nerdly is standing right behind the HI-YAH Tag Team Champions. MELODY Everyone knows all the straight up, hardcore Cosplayers are rocking the Sailor Moon nowadays. Just as soon as she had appeared, Melody disappears, flagging down a taxi and asking the unsuspecting driver how he likes 'these 10,000 Yen melons', before telling him to drive her 'back to Canada', perhaps not realising that would involve some sort of aqua-car. An aqua-car with a lot of fuel. BLANCHARD Wha... wher... you... THIS COUNTRY! MACKENZIE Pull yourself together damnit! Look, we can't get out of this, so we just have to make the best of it. Stars like us have to make public appearances they don't enjoy all the time, to placate their public. The secret is to milk every perk going. To milk every BUTT kissing executive and spineless money man going. How do you think the Emmys always get their seats filled? BLANCHARD Good point. Go on. MACKENZIE Japanese fans are fanatical. They idolise anyone who's ever pulled on a pair of wrestling tights... even The All American Boys. And their tights spit in the face of the entire country! Don't you see? So long as we're the Champions of this insane country, people are going to treat us like royalty. The good type. BLANCHARD The money making type? MACKENZIE Exactly! SIMON (off camera) So, what are you saying? MACKENZIE What I'm saying is, quit whining and find some pants with some deep pockets, because we're going to be living in style for the next week or so. We're going to milk this cash cow for all it's worth. We've been given 40 Days, so we're going to take every last one of them. D*LUX can get their title shot and we'll air it on Syndicated for everyone back home to see. Then, we go back to America and wait for HI-YAH to come calling again. Rinse, repeat and watch the money come piling in until the idea becomes unprofitable. SIMON (off camera) Just like Hollywood! A smirk slowly appears on Blanchard's face, as he rubs his chin to show he's mulling what's been said over. BLANCHARD I like it. I like it a lot! Tell you what, we need some security. No pictures taken without specific permission. If not, $10 a photo. Mackie, you phone up the HI-YAH offices and tell them we need a hotel upgrade. And, ask about Geisha girls. Ones who can run me a good bath. MACKENZIE And make me a good martini. ... BLANCHARD You know, I think I might grow to like this country.

The Cage Match might be a little late (getting on the computer at nights now is a rare blessing), so if you haven't got anything from me just leave the slot free and I'll edit it in ASAP...as usual.

This is probably an obvious one, but if so, the answer slips my mind. What happened to The New Foundation and specifically The Anvil in 1992? He and Owen won the opener at the Rumble and got a great reaction throughout, yet I can't remember them ever doing anything else together until 94. Next thing, Owen had Koko as his partner, with the same attire the New Foundation wore. So, what happened? Also, how far in advance was Backlund's 94 title reign planned? It always seemed like a reaction to the similiar story that was going on in the boxing world, which again slips my mind.

The New Foundation, Owen and The Anvil.

Candace F'n Okimura~!

Yay! Lets take a recognisable gimmick, throw it away and turn the poor saps into nondescript nobodies! I smell Gunner Scott. I smell The Bashams! I smell Deacon Batista! Mitch becomes a heel, who you should hate because he wears sunglasses~! Johnny can be another Chris Benoit wannabee protege! Nicky and Mikey can form WACKY~! new tag teams with any combination of the following: Snitsky, Val, Striker, Conway. And of course, there's Kenny, the cookie cutter nice guy face who wants the Intercontinental Championship out of the blue and ends up paired off with Carlito, Shelton and Nitro in various, what are we doing again this week? matches for the next 4 months. Assuming this is true (and they don't end up in a 3 way tag team ladder match, with Bret as the ref), I hope everybody who's been whining about the gimmick from day one enjoys the alternative.

I think Vince has got a bad memory and just replaced Austin for DX, said 'hey, Austin always won and look what happened to him' and left it at that. The Spirit Squad are basically playing the role of the makeshift Corporation.

As usual, they've made sure the changes are for the better. Koslov's got a lot of potential, but Aries is naturally a bigger star. The Briscoes I'm not that interested in anyway to be honest. Plus it means AmDrag is in.

NOAH, has had some good stuff. Not it's best but still it's good shit. I'll take the incredible first half of 2006 from ROH/CZW (not just for the feud itself) and NOAH's big matches over everything WWE has done since 2002 combined. You guys forgot about CHIKARA. A great half year, probably the best they've had and their new commissioner is Bob Saget. Beat that.

See, I don't think Moxley really fits in with CHIKARA. He seems like a decent wrestler, but I don't think it's the right environment and seems a little...I dunno, out of place somehow. CHIKARA's really been stepping it up since TWGP...well, even before then, but especially since TWGP. Nice looking card, storylines running through the card rather than just with the KoW and the anti-KoW. The only thing that's missing is Los Ice Creams.

For what it's worth, I can't remember seeing Kazarian have a bad match in PWG. They should bring in Arrogance, Kazarian and Lost have got great in-ring chemistry. Plus, it'd bolster the tag division. Get rid of The Naturals to accomodate them.

Fuck that. Two Skinny White Guys is where is at.

The point was to jump on the bandwagon and transfer the anti-ECW heat into pro-Rhino heat. I'm sure it was a good promo and all, but it seemed like a really cheap, bushleague move. And this is coming from a TNA supporter.

Player is about 6 months behind, I think I read somewhere.

Arms Across America > Cattle Mutilation.

Six Man Tag is in. Another bait and switch I'm afraid, but whatever.

Apparantly, Cannon's defending against Jon Moxley.

I don't buy this arguement, and it's not just you. People moaning about Flair being in ECW and Show in ECW, saying it's not indicative to the company's past. Forget the fact it's not really ECW for a moment. Heyman would have given his left arm to have Flair and Show in ECW in it's inaugral days and nobody should kid themselves otherwise. The only reason Show and Flair weren't 'ECW material' was because they were too high profile and would have cost too much money, plain and simple. The only reason Styles and Douglas ever badmouthed Flair was to get themselves over. Plain and simple.

That's an interesting line-up. Generico vs. Delirious from IWA We're No Joke was a riot and Cabana vs. Disco should be too. Claudio vs. Jack strikes me as a bit of a style clash personally, which'll either be really good or really awkward. Early prediction is either Scorpio or Davey to win.