King Cucaracha

Cucaracha Internacional vs. Chicks Over Dicks and D*LUX OAOAST World Title Zack Malibu © vs. Mr. Dick OAOAST Women's Title Maggie Nerdly © vs. Sophie I'm not writing all of them, not by a longshot. But Zack won't be in here and I guess Patty's match depends on whether he's got the time or not. Tony's also got a tag match. I think that's it so far.

Well, I got bored and... oh, wait, nevermind.

THANK YOU. I never said you were in the wrong. If I thought you were in the wrong, I'd have given you a warning there and then. But when you said that you never needed to question someone's intelligence in other folders, you were lying and I pointed it out. The rest you created with your persecution complex. You were both as good or as bad as each other. Thing is, he's not the hypocrite saying people should ignore idiots and then getting into a back and forth with someone you percieve to be an idiot, which so far is about all you do. I'm not getting into a never-ending arguement with you again, because we know you never make any progress. You said something, I pointed out that it was wrong and why it was wrong as you've been asking people to do. End of thread? Well, I'd consider it, if this weren't Xavier's thread you've derailed. See what I mean about that?

And when idiots are idiots on a message board, discussion suffers, because instead of discussion people resort to pointing out that the idiot is an idiot. If there's an idiot in the bar, people don't buy drinks and they don't enjoy themselves, they go to another bar, a better bar with a better atmosphere. See where I'm going with this? The point wasn't about Scroby. The point is, you said you never had to resort to insults outside of NHB. I pointed out that you had. End of thread? If only. As far as I'm concerned, he hadn't gone past any point, you just resorted to an insult because you disagreed with his opinion and weren't able to convince him that you were right and he was wrong. What happened to "diversity being entirely contingent to discussion"? Surely if diversity were to reign, you'd have to respect any arguement diverse to yours, no? End of thread? I wish.

And again you miss the point! You're consistant, I'll give you that. I pointed out that this was wrong. Instead of accepting it and admitting it, you tried to justify why you were right in the first place, which wasn't under issue. Do you have some kind of persecution complex, mate?

Let me make this simple. Is a bar elitist if it employs a bouncer on the door to weed out idiots, in order to ensure the normal majority have a good time? Now replace the word 'bar' with 'forum' and 'bouncer' with 'mod'. I'm not even arguing that it's elitist or not. All I know is, if that's a elitist, I'm fine with it if it because it's only idiots who are going to suffer from it and who cares about them, they're idiots.

Battlenuts bringing the LOLs. FWIW... You insinuated Scroby's parents did drugs in the WWE folder because he disagreed with you. So, no.

Oh boy, fail. The point wasn't the music, it's a metaphor genius. The point is, people wouldn't put up with your shit in real-life, so why should they just because "it's only the internet, it's only a discussion forum". If you ran around calling everyone fucking idiots and retards in real-life, you get shunned. Why should it be any different behind a computer screen? You don't get accepted to a college because you're an idiot, is the college elitist? If you get fired from a job for being disruptive, is that company elitist? You get thrown out of a bar because you're ruining the atmosphere by being a confrontational jackass only interested in causing trouble, are they elitist?

You missed the point again. Well done. The streak lives on.

BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome at this time, the OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...ZAAAAAAAAACK MAAAAAAAAAAALIBUUUUUUUUUU! "Getting Away With Murder" plays, and you know the drill. The pyro EXPLODES~!, the people CHEER~!, and the OAOAST World Champion HEADS TO THE RING~! after having been battered by a newer, deadlier, Leon Rodez just one week ago. The crowd welcomes Zack with open arms, the typical response for the popular OAOAST Original, but he doesn't appear to care much for the reaction tonight. Instead, he paces the ring, appearing as though he's about to speak several times before pulling the mic away. COLE Zack Malibu looks like he may not know the right words here... COACH What's he gonna say, Cole? Bitch and moan, as usual, that someone got the better of him? COLE It wasn't someone who got the better of him, Coach, it was his BEST FRIEND! MALIBU You know, it was only two weeks ago that someone told me I needed to clear my head. That I needed to allow myself the time to focus, to let the big picture sink in. That I couldn't let myself be distracted by those who have vendettas, or are jealous, or are just impatient to get their shot at the OAOAST World Title. I heeded that advice as much as I could, and it led to a beatdown by The Deadly Alliance. So it was only natural that a revenge match, a shot at retribution, take place before my defense against Mister Dick at the Amazing French Canadian Spectacular. I walked into that tag team battle focused, comfortable because the person fighting the battle with me was a man who had been on that battlefield with me before. I shared scars and wounds with that man. He was, quite frankly, a blood brother. He was my partner, and we were once the OAOAST World Tag Team Champions. More importantly than that, he was the one person, that no matter how aloof or akward he may have been at times, that was always there. Zack stops, but now, his demeanor changes, as if he's disgusted by those memories. MALIBU Leon Rodez. The crowd IMMEDIATELY starts booing, but that doesn't quell Malibu's mindset. MALIBU The Usual Suspects. The In Crowd. The Civil War. The Wildcards. No matter when I needed Leon, he was there. Half the time, I didn't even have to ask, because he was that eager to prove himself. It made me proud to see him capture the OAOAST World Championship not too long ago. It was bittersweet when I defeated him for this belt, because if I had it any other way, I wouldn't have wanted to take from him what he has worked for years here to achieve. It seems that its true...that this belt can change everything for a person, and that means bad things as much as it does good. Malibu continues to circle the ring, looking down as he arranges his thoughts. MALIBU I defeated Leon Rodez, a friend, for this belt. A month later, I was in the main event of Anglemania facing another friend, Bohemoth. In between all that, I lost another friend, one of my closest, to something beyond my control. The strain its put on my life and my relationships with people...and now, now this. Now the ultimate betrayal takes place. Now Leon Rodez decides that he wants to, he NEEDS to be better than Zack Malibu. Like a vampire after his first kill, he got the taste of blood, and now he wants more, he needs it to survive. This belt, the one I hold over my shoulder, is what changed Leon Rodez. This belt is the reason for what he did, because it set off a chain of events in his head that have created the new man that we all were introduced to last week. A man who lost his smile, and replaced it with a grimace. A man who lost that aloofness and akwardness, and replaced it with cold-heartedness, detaching himself from everything he stood for to create a newer, better model. An upgrade. But will tomorrow be any better, Leon? Or the next day? Can you live with yourself? And if you can, if you really, truly feel that this is the path to take, then may God help you because last week you crossed the line, burned the bridge and pissed on the ashes. Because I am TIRED of people like you who treat honor as a joke, who treat respect as an afterthought. In your deranged little head, I know you think this is right. I know that you believe this is what needs to be done, and that all I'm doing is standing out here spouting cliches and being a hero of the people, so instead, here's what I'm going to do. I am going to put this belt down, put this mic down, and stand in this ring and wait for you, Leon. I am going to wait for you to come out here and face me, eye to eye. I want to see how big of a man you are when I'm looking right at you. Because I highly doubt you'll have the confidence you found in yourself last week. Leon, you are a COWARD. You picked your spot, and you did what you had to do. Now, I'm going to do what I feel I have to do, and so help me God Leon all evidence of our past history will be erased once this new chapter starts, because you've started a fire that can't be put out. With that, Zack drops the belt, tosses the mic down, and stares at the stage. The crowd stands in unison and looks to the stage, and start booing when...MISTER DICK AND MALAYSIA come out. DICK Zack, you've got a lot on yer plate, dont'cha? Little Leon's all grown up now, out of your shadow and out on his own, and you can't take it. Now, I'll admit it's a bit sad, Zacky. Brings a tear to my eye! But don't you DARE look past what's coming. Because I showed you, Zacky, what I'll do to you. See, yer out here complainin' about all these people that wronged you, the backstabbers and betrayers, but yer not talkin' about the man who pissed you off to yer face and got away with it, and that's the soon to be WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, MISTER DICK! Malibu picks up the mic, and retorts. MALIBU Listen scumbag, I'm tired of these games. You want to prove something, I'm already in the ring, you're the one standing up there spouting off. You want to prove something? I'M WAITING. Dick sneers, and he and Malaysia start walking down the aisle. The crowd is buzzing, as Malibu rolls his sleeves up, but then Dick stops halfway through his walk. DICK Aha...ahahahaha. Yer kiddin', right? C'mon now, Malibu, you think I just fell off the turnip truck? I ain't got no reason to do prematurely what's gonna come naturally at the Amazing French-Canadian Spectacular. I ain't gotta... WHAM~! In a flash, Malibu hops out of the ring and SPEARS~! Dick down! Zack starts unleashing the elbows, and as Malaysia tries to pull Zack off, he shoves her down! Malibu pulls Dick up and drags him to ringside, then hurls him into the stairs! Malibu stands over him and pounds on his forehead with closed fists, then rolls Dick into the ring. Dick is groggy, but Malibu slides in and runs the ropes, FLOORING Dick with a Yakuza kick just as soon as he raises his head! Zack again goes for the mount, nailing elbows, when Malaysia jumps on his back, trying to pull him off! Fans scream as Zack stands up, trying to break free of the madwoman...and finally he snapmares her over! Malaysia, out of sorts after being thrown, starts to get up, then goes white as she notices Zack peering at her, in the ready position to deliver a SCHOOL'S OUT~! Malaysia falls back and scoots into the corner, with Zack stalking her, but then Zack stops, as if something in his head told him to retreat. He looks around, surveying the damage, then grabs the World Title and exits the ring quietly, as if the whole incident never happened! COLE Zack does not look well...this is not the Zack Malibu we know and love. This is a man who is nearing the boiling point! Dick and Malaysia regroup in the ring, and Malibu just takes one last look at his foe, then looks out at the fans before disappearing through the curtain and ending this weeks broadcast of HeldDOWN~!

I've got that segment covered Patty, don't worry.

I was reffering to the 95-98 era, as opposed to the critically acclaimed early 2000 work. There's experimental and then there's just bizarre.

I hear Battlenuts went out to a bar last night. Somebody told him the song that was playing was rubbish, so he called the guy a retard. Others jumped in to try and get him to chill out, so Battlenuts said the exact same thing to them. Over and over and over. Eventually the bouncer on the door came in and threw him out. He tried to get back in... and managed it, with a cunning moustache/bowler/wedding dress disguise ensemble... but people still didn't want him there because he was still complaining that that bar needed to play all kinds of music to keep people happy. Not just trance and r'n'b, but folk, christian rock, experimental Indian opera. The more diverse the music, the longer people would want to party, no matter how bad it is! The bar owner finally realised he was just causing everybody to forget about drinking and just get into arguements instead, so he got thrown out. What a bunch of elitist bitches.

Be it somebody on the roster, somebody in FCW, somebody from outside... somebody's going to have to step up their game and break through sooner or later. The main event scene isn't getting any younger, let's face it. So who do you see having a genuine shot of becoming a main event level talent, or at least in the realms of Jericho and Kane where they can drift in and out as and when. And what about lower down, who's the 'future future'?, the guy who's going to solidify a spot around the secondary titles for the next few years who's currently on the outside looking in?

"Clean shirt New shoes And I dont know where I am goin to. Silk suit Black tie, I dont need a reason why. They come runnin just as fast as they can Coz every girl crazy bout a sharp dressed man." To a resounding chorus of boos, Christian Wright swaggers out from the entrance way with his trusty briefcase in hand and sharply dressed as the song would indicate. Wright turns his nose up at the fans as he adjusts his tie, making his way down the aisle and brushing away the attention of the fans and their outstretched hands. BUFFER The following contest is set for one fall. Introducing first... representing THE ENTERPRISE! Now residing in Washington D.C. He weighs in at approximately '8 and 1/3 BARS OF GOLD'... The Financial Analyst of The Enterprise, this is "THE NATURAL"... CCHHHRRRIIISSTTIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAANN... WWWWRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGHHHHHHTT!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Setting down his briefcase in one corner of the ring, Christian rounds the ring another side and jumps onto the apron. Straightening out the lappels of his suit, the smug Financial Analyst makes the "money fingers" as a sign of his allegiance to The Enterprise before he steps into the ring. BUFFER And his opponent, from Tampa, Florida, JOHN JO JACKSON! The youngster raises a fist to the crowd. COLE This youngster one of Florida's finest, trying to make a step up tonight. COACH Eh, he's no Jo Jack Johnson. Christian carefully removes and folds his red jacket, as well as his white dress shirt and tie, setting them aside. COLE Well a little 'tune-up' here arranged by Theodore Moneymaker, trying to keep things ticking over for his Enterprise which has taken a fair few hits in recent months. *DINGDINGDING!* Locking up, Wright quickly takes his young opponent over to a corner and rocks him with a European uppercut. And a second. Opening him up, Wright then rears back... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...with a knifedge chop, sending the kid scrambling for the other side of the ring holding his chest. COACH Christian looks all business tonight Michael. COLE Why do I get the feeling I've heard that pun before? Retrieving his opponent, Christian gives him a scoop slam and sets him in place with his boot pressed against the head, before leaping up and stomping down on the skull! Jackson uses the ropes to pull himself back up and regrets it when another European uppercut lands. COACH Anyway, what are you talking about The Enterprise like they're weak for? This is what it is, a defiant show of their dominance. Whipped to the ropes, Jackson is caught on the rebound with a hard back elbow, knocking him to the mat. Wright stalks around him and waits for Jackson to start getting up, hauling him up the rest of the way and delivering a Belly To Belly Suplex... 1... 2... No! COLE Well it's not hard to look dominant against a rookie, a lesser opponent. COACH You can only beat what's in front of you. You'd know something about that surely. Taking his time Christian adjusts the tape on his wrist as he waits for Jackson to get back up. Once he is, CW charges across the ring looking for a clothesline, but the youngster surprises everybody by ducking underneath! Wright puts on the brakes and when he turns around, Jackson starts firing away with right hands! COLE This kid starting to show us something, showing some heart and determination. With Wright dazed Jackson runs the ropes... and gets caught with the WRIGHT OFF!!! COACH Heart and determination is no match for wealth and power. Ragdolled, Jackson is pulled to his feet. The kid can barely stand as Wright sets him up to deliver a STINGING Superkick, the sound of boot on flesh echoing around the arena to horrified gasps! Wright just dusts his hands in satisfaction as Jackson lays in a heap on the mat, KOed. COACH Christian kicking faces, The Moneygang taking names, Mister Moneymaker providing the backing. Face it, The Enterprise is as strong as ever, no matter how much you hope otherwise. COLE I think The Orange County Cobras would beg to differ. COACH Who cares? Picking Jackson up one more time Christian hooks him up for the finish. Elevated up, Jackson is then brought crashing back to earth face-first, experiencing the STOCKMARKET CRASH with as much suffering as a wallstreet banker. 1... 2... 3!!! *DINGDINGDING!* COACH Hear that? That's the sound of an Enterprise win. Kerching! Get used to it. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... "THE NATURAL" CCHHHRRRIIIISSSTTIIIIIAAAAANN... WWRRRRRIIIIIIIIGGHHHHTT!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" With a look of satisfaction Christian calmly leaves the ring, collecting up his briefcase and clothes as he strolls to the back. COLE A win for The Enterprise, but if you ask me it seemed like more of a diversion tactic. Moneymaker isn't going to be able to hide his problems away behind easy victories like this forever. COACH You are so negative, you know that?

The crowd rise to their feet as the intro to "Like The Angel" hits. As the lyrics kick in the twin Nerdly brothers run out and nail a leaping high-five, setting off a pair of pyrotechnic rockets, one orange and one blue. The twin brothers then make their way down the aisle full of energy as ever. BUFFER This contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Edmonton, Alberta Canada! Weighing one hundred, eighty five pounds... he is one half of THE CHRIST AIR EXPRESS... MMAAAAAARRRRRRRVVV!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" MARV slides into the ring and leaps to the turnbuckles to encourage the crowd, MEL taking a slightly less energetic journey to the turnbuckles across the ring to join him. COLE Two weeks ago MEL was victorious in singles action against Synth, tonight it's the respective tag team partners in one on one action. And The Christ Air Express still fighting for the honour of their friend Jamie O'Hara, who was once again disrespected this past weekend by The Heavenly Rockers on our sister program Syndicated. [QUOTE=OAOAST Syndicated, 4/27]The OAOAST honored one its greats on Syndicated with a “Jersey Retiring” of Jamie O’Hara's jersey hosted by The Heavenly Rockers, Holly, and Abdullah Abir Nerdly. O’Hara’s favorite New York Knicks jersey, “stained with the years of tears cried after painful loss after painful loss as well as the knowledge he’ll never touch a woman without paying her” so said Logan, was raised into the rafters. Unfortunately it wasn’t hooked properly and feel back down the ground. “Just like O’Hara career, a flop!” Logan said to laughter from his gang. On hand to give the ceremonial speech was Tony Tourettes. The highlights of Tony’s speech were when he compared watching O’Hara to having a live chicken crammed into his urethra, and when he noted O’Hara was at home choking on Joe Biden’s morning shit.[/QUOTE] Watching the footage on the AngleTron, MARV and Mel shake their heads. They're no happier to hear the intro to "Heart Shaped Box" by Nirvana, met by a chorus of boos by the crowd. With a cheshire cat grin on his face Logan Mann emerges first through the entrance with wife Holly on his arm, doing a triumphant 360 spin on the stage. Behind him follow Abdullah and Synth in solemn dignity. BUFFER And his opponent is accompanied to the ring by members of "the only rock n'wrestling band that matters", THE HEAVENLY ROCKERS! From Las Vegas, Nevada... weighing in at two hundred and twenty pounds... he is "THE [b]MACHO[/b] MACHO MANN"... LLLLLOOOOOOOOOOGGAAAAAAANN... MMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNN!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Logan unzips his leather jacket, revealing why it looked such an odd-fit, with a New York Knicks jersey lying underneath. COLE Oh come on! COACH What? It's a throwback, people wear them to honour former greats who've disappeared into obscurity. It's a trend, you wouldn't get it. Once the leather jacket is off we see that sure enough, it's the same jersey that was "retired" by The Heavenly Rockers, with 'O'HARA' on the back and the fitting number "00" on the back, because he's a "real zero". MARV scowls at this show of disrespect and can't wait for the bell to ring. *DINGDINGDING!* With the match underway, Logan wisely loses the Knicks jersey, throwing it to a lucky fan in the crowd. Except that lucky fan happens to employed by the company and doing commentary. COACH Wow! What an honour! LOGAN You're welcome kid. Logan and MARV circle and lock up, with Logan grabbing a headlock. Meanwhile we get a shot of Coach admiring the jersey. COACH Oh, this is perfect! My car's needed to be washed for days now, this'll do great! COLE Your ca... come on Coach! You're as bad as they are! In the ring Logan gets shot off the ropes and comes back with a big shoulder tackle to knock MARV down. With a cry of "THANK YOU ORLANDOOoooo!" Logan comes off the ropes again, going up and over MARV. Leapfrog by MARV is navigated by Logan as well, but as he comes back off the ropes MARV surprises him with a quick hurricanrana takeover! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!" Rolling to his feet Logan runs right into an armdrag, which MARV hangs onto for an armbar. Before Logan can settle, that then turns into a quick crucifix, pulling Logan down onto his shoulders... 1... 2... No! Back up Logan regains control with a side headlock, but gets shot off to the ropes again. MARV drops down and wise to this, Logan puts on the brakes once he's safely over, pointing to his head. When Logan reaches down to pick MARV up though, the Canadian surprises him by flipping over and dragging him to the mat by the arm. COLE Woah! MARV, so quick! Rolling to his feet Logan moves away from the ropes, into a dropkick that sends him spilling back through them to the outside! COLE And Logan unable to keep up with it, to the outside and MARV is rolling! MARV plays to the crowd leaving The Heavenly Rockers' lead vocalist frustrated on the floor. Abdullah tries to calm him down with some spiritual wisdom, which Logan has no time for, shrugging Abdullah off and climbing back to the apron. Seconds later, he's back down as MARV dropkicks his legs away, causing Logan to smack face-first into the apron! Grabbing the top rope MARV follows up with another dropkick, through the ropes this time and landing one foot to the face of both Logan and Abdullah, who crash back into the barricade!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" Leaning out of the ring, MARV gets a leaping high-five from MEL, while Synth and Holly run to the aid of their men. COACH How can these people cheer for spousal abuse like that!? COLE Spousal abuse is between a husband and wife you jackass! COACH Well brother on brother stuff. I don't know the correct term, I just know it ain't right! Mann is picked up with some help from Synth and frustrates as he is, wisely slows things down. Taking his time getting back in he insists on MARV being backed up first. "LET'S GO MARV!" "LET'S GO MARV!" "LET'S GO MARV!" "LET'S GO MARV!" Back inside Logan and MARV go to lock up, not what Logan has in mind as he ducks low and backs MARV into a corner. MARV manages to shift himself around so that Logan's back is against the corner. Making the mistake of thinking he's avoided danger MARV gives a clean break and pays for it, Logan catching him with a boot to the gut. The fans jeer Logan's cheap tactics as he delivers right hands in the corner, then stomps MARV down into the turnbuckles until the referee pulls him away. COLE Logan a wily veteran, safe to say he knows all the tricks of the trade. Brought out of the corner, MARV is whipped to the ropes. Burying a right hand into the midsection, Logan doubles MARV up and sets up a running kneelift. Cover... 1... 2... No! Logan picks MARV back up and delivers a back suplex. Confident again The MACHO Macho Mann then shows off his biceps to howls of derision. COACH Wrestling show, rock show, gun show, Logan can do it all baby! When he doesn't get the reaction he wants, Logan skids past the referee and blatantly choking MARV. Breaking on three he stands up and rakes the flat of his boot across MARV's face, before trying the bicep pose again. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Those guns are loaded too. Logan still doesn't get a good reception, of course, but he's made his point. Backing off the ropes he plants a boot in the back of MARV's head as he tries to get up, then pins him down... 1... 2... Kickout. Standing back, Logan allows MARV to get back to his feet, stalking behind him. Once up MARV is caught in a sleeper by Logan! Laughing confidently Logan pulls back. After walking in search of the ropes a few paces MARV suddenly feels the effects and sinks down to one knee. ABDULLAH Pleasant dreams, demon seed! COLE Demon seed? What sort of a thing is that to call your adopted brother? COACH I once knew a kid in school called demon seed. COLE Really? COACH Well... Stephen Reed, but that's close, right? I'm contributing, yes? COLE You're an idiot. Spurred on by the crowd and the support of his brother... the real one, not the adopted one... MARV starts to try and fight. He clenches his fists and rallies up the crowd before standing back up from one knee. Just as the crowd start getting some encouragement though, Logan reacts by RAKING THE EYES, then pulling MARV back into the sleeper and back down to a knee. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Logan tightens his grip and MARV's arms begin to sway a little, so the referee steps in to check him. Seeing few signs of consciousness he picks up MARV's right arm... and lets it fall. COLE That's one and MARV may be going out here. Two more and the referee will call this one. Nodding his approval Logan watches as MARV's arm is raised again... and falls again. COACH Looks like MARV is coming down off that high. Abdullah prematurely praises the heavens for their assistance in MARV's demise... ...but the arm doesn't drop the third time and the fans stomp their feet! COLE No! MARV is still in it! Cursing his luck Logan shakes his head as MARV picks himself back up and fires off some elbows. MARV breaks the sleeper and quickly comes off the ropes with a diving clothesline! Bouncing back up, Logan is knocked down with a second diving clothesline! And then a third and MARV is all fired up~! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" MARV waits for Logan to pick himself up, which he does in a corner. Charging in, MARV gets caught with an elbow though and just that quickly the fire has burnt out. Logan stumbles out of the corner and pushes MARV into the ropes, catching him side-on... NO! MARV flips out of the attempted sideslam, knocking Logan down with a back elbow. Leaping over Logan's body MARV then hits a STANDING MOONSAULT!! 1... 2... NO! COLE The pace has quickened and it's MARV who's dictating it. He's lighting this crowd up like... well, you get where I'm going with that. COACH I also knew a girl called Mary Jo Anna. COLE No you didn't. MARV waits for Logan to get up, burying a boot to the gut and hooking him up looking for the Acid Drop. He runs for the corner and scales the turnbuckles... but Logan gets in underneath MARV, flipping him up and over. MARV lands on his feet and runs in TO A WICKED LEFT JAB~! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE That devestating left hand! Stacking MARV on his shoulders Logan looks around with shifty eyes... 1... ...and when the time is right, PUTS HIS FEET ON THE MIDDLE ROPE... 2... ...BUT MEL JUMPS TO THE APRON AND PUSHES LOGAN'S FEET OFF!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Hey, what's that all about!? COLE MEL trying to prevent an injustice going down. Logan fumes at MEL and demands the referee take action. Which allows Synth to sneak into the ring and drag MARV up, hooking his arms behind his back while Abdullah climbs to the apron clutching the holy book! Synth drags MARV up and holds him for Abdullah to lower the boom... A MISTIMED BOOM, NAILING SYNTH WITH THE BOOK INSTEAD!! COACH OH NO! COLE He just threw the book at him! Freaking out, Abdullah is clocked too, with a right hand by MARV! Seeing trouble Logan charges with the double axehandle loaded, but MARV ducks underneath. Logan stops himself short of the ropes but when he turns around, MARV is waiting with the JAWJACKER!!! Stunned but still on his feet, Logan is then hooked up for the ACID DROP, MARV stacking Logan into a tight pin... 1... 2... 3!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" COLE The Christ Air Express do it again, they've swept The Heavenly Rockers 2-0! *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen your winner of the match is MMMAAAAAARRRRVVVV!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Rolling out of the ring before Synth or Abdullah can get to him MARV joins up with MEL for a celebratory jumping high-five! Stood over the beaten MACHO Macho Mann, Abdullah is seething and curses away in his native tongue like a madman. MARV and MEL are cool with it though and just laugh it up at their adopted brothers' expense. COLE Maybe Logan and Synth should think twice next time they decide to make fun of somebody for being a loser! Because it's all going to sound a little hollow next time, knowing they've both fallen to Jamie O'Hara best-brahs in singles competition in the space of two weeks. COACH Everybody gets lucky Michael. And it turns out, twins share luck as well. This doesn't change anything! COLE Well it might teach these four a little humility, although I wouldn't bet on it. Holly tends to Logan as Synth attempts to stop Abdullah's ranting and raving, stomping his feet like he's a six year old having a temper tantrum. All smiles MARV and MEL salute the crowd.

Yes.

UNEXPECTED VOICE-OVER GUY And now, for Internacional news, let's take you to our Internacional correspondant, Landon Maddix. Our video starts with Landon Maddix, stood in front of a green screen with the Cucaracha Internacional logo on it. MADDIX Thank you Chuck. Well ladies and gentlemen, I've said it before and I'll say it again. Unity. Recently, people have been asking, where's the power in the OAOAST? What's the strongest force in the wrestling world. Is it the In Crowd with their World Title monopoly? Or is it The Deadly Alliance, the pretenders to the throne? Or how about The Enterprise with their financial clout? The answer is simple. See, to have power in the world, you've got to be... Internacional. The green screen changes to a globe and Landon produces a pointer from nowhere. Five countries flash up on the map behind him. MADDIX Five countries, five strongholds of wrestling. America, naturally. Canada. Samoa. England. And most importantly of all, Spain. It's a global stronghold, a worldwide unity. Where-as the rest? The map changes to an American one, with question marks dotted around. MADDIX Well to be honest, the other groups are so unstable, I can't even remember who's in and who's out anymore! Away goes the pointer and the map. MADDIX The fact is, between us, Cucaracha Internacional have got every tool and every attribute you need to succeed. We cut away from Landon, to video footage, complete with dubbed on buzzwords. MADDIX [b]SPEED[/b] [i][COLOR=yellow]Hitting the ropes in front, Landon catches Heat on his way up, around the head with his left arm, swinging himself around the back and bringing him down from the right side with an inverted bulldog![/COLOR][/i] MADDIX [b]STRENGTH[/b] [i][COLOR=green]Reaching the top, Cash waits for Faqu to come a little closer and soars... ...CAUGHT! Faqu blocks the crossbody attempt by simply catching the EMT in his arms. Faqu then throws EMT Tim up onto his shoulders with similar ease, crushing him with a Samoan Drop!![/COLOR][/i] MADDIX [b]INTENSITY[/b] [i][COLOR=blue]Straight on the bell, O'Hara runs at Black who throws a clothesline. O'Hara manages to duck underneath, but Black turns on his heels and WALLOPS O'Hara with the Black Lariat, dumping him right on the back of his head!![/COLOR][/i] MADDIX [b]AGILITY[/b] [i][COLOR=red]On the second rope he gets ready to take flight. However, Blonde reacts and grabs O'Hara's Nike trainer, dragging him off the ropes! The back of O'Hara's head bounces off the mat hard and he rolls away, ending up in position for Blonde to come off the ropes with the LIONSAULT!![/COLOR][/i] MADDIX and a [b]KILLER INSTINCT[/b] [i]As Alf tries to get to his feet, Cortez slides down, jumps on Alf's head...and executes the RIOT ACT PLUS~!!!!!11111[/i] MADDIX We're not just the best in the OAOAST. We're the best in the WORLD! [i]Faqu with the HI-YAH World Title, Cortez after winning the US Title, Landon from his time as OAOAST World Champion.[/i] MADDIX And with all that in mind, the question is, who's going to stop us in our quest for Internacional domination? No-one, that's who! We've set out the challenge. Four on four, can anyone beat my men, my Internacional squad of talent? Projections from wrestling experts say, no, nobody can. We'll have more on this global uprising as it happens. I'm Landon Maddix. Back to Sofa Central. COLE What was that about? COACH Internacional news update. COLE ...cute. I guess.

That pretty much summed up my thoughts exactly. The spotlight thing was ridiculous in the first place, for Cena to come back in any capacity last night made it worthless. And I spotted the Shane thing as well. Notice how they trailed off after Shane because, presumably, they remembered he came back about two weeks after he was punted.

All Backlash discussion in here. All "WHERE'S THE BACKLASH DISCUSSION!1?" somewhere else. Ta.

Panama Beach, Florida. Spring Break Nitro. That it?

Yep, remember, the draft takes effect tonight. So absolutely no Smackdown wrestlers will appear on Raw at all. I promise. Not even Todd Grisham, Smackdown commentator. This draft is serious business and will be respected at all costs. You just watch.

Franchise's name's been put forward already. It's just a case of Mike getting around to doing it, which I guess is why it's still a case of Mike getting around to doing it.