King Cucaracha

Years more like. It's not 1999 (or at a push, 2001) anymore and RVD's getting stagnant. A heel turn would be the best thing for his career right now. I don't get the love for him, I really don't. His matches are as predictable as Flair's. There's literally dozens and dozens of wrestlers on the indies who can do what RVD's so famed for and do it better. His promos are abysmal, not exagerration. And it's been the same character for 5 years.

Spike, I know you're sticking up for Zyon, but if you read both matches you'll possibly see mine has more 'story'. Hell, if ANYONE reads my match and comments on it which'd be really helpful, they might see it too. As it is, I don't know because nobody has. Zy, appreciate the explanation. The suplexes were mainly counters which I've no problem with and I appreciate the fact you were going for the fast-paced match. Believe it or not, I'm not disappointed your match won because it wasn't a bad match and unlike half the fed recently it was a full match. I'm just disappointed because I thought I did a good job with my match. And besides that, you're a good writer but a little critique and you're a potential World Champion (Lord knows I had enough critique before I did it). So, thanks for not taking the critiquing badly. Now if Janus can give a rundown of why he chose one over the other, I can commence scraping the sand from my vagina. Thank you.

Yes, I pronounce it as Jay'nus. So there. Uhm, so anyone who can comment on this and tell me where I apparantly went wrong, ending aside, I'd be very grateful. Thanks. --------------------------- "We've come to the main event and not wanting to look like a fool, I won't mention the rest of the show. It may have been good, may have not. What I know is, our next match WILL be good as we pit the reigning Cruiserweight Champion Zyon against the reigning SWF World Heavyweight Champion, fresh off an extended break, Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix." "You know, ever since Landon went on his little 'vacation' it seems like nobody in the company is capable of having a match longer than two minutes that doesn't consist of a Haiku or some bullshit 'I can't be arsed to write anything this week so here's a rollup' finish. I blame it all on him. Hell, I'm almost glad to see him back wrestling. Almost. When the alternative is eight promos about the Blank brothers, you take what you can get." "Kay Fabe-ulous as ever, King." "Hey, when you gotta vent, you gotta vent." "Well, speaking of venting...what we saw early tonight from Landon Maddix was utterly reprehensible." spits Mak. "Threatening to cripple Amy Stephens...sent chills down spine." "And that's a hard thing to do to a cripple too." Mak shoots a glare at The Gambling Man, who flashes a cheesy thumbs up at his immobile announce partner. "You're a bad person." "Tell me exactly, what am I supposed to do Now that I have allowed you, to beat me! Do you think that we could play another game Maybe I could win this ti-ime." "I kinda like the misery you put me through Darling you can trust me, completely! If you even try to look the other way I think that I could kill this ti-ime!"[/i] Emerging through the curtains to the sounds of "The Game" by Disturbed, Landon Maddix doesn't waste time playing to a crowd who have already seen him once already, instead striding straight on down the ramp. Megan Skye follows behind, looking like her mind is elsewhere. "Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is your MAIN EVENT of the evening, scheduled for one fall. In this match, neither the Cruiserweight Title or the World Heavyweight Title will be on the line. Introducing first, being accompanied to the ring by his 'Perfect 10' Megan Skye. He hails from Huron, South Dakota by way of Madrid, Spain. Weighing two hundred, twenty four pounds...the reigning, two-time SWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION... LANDON... "LA CUCARACHA"... MMMMAAAAAAADDIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!" "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The crowd understandably greet Landon with the typical disgust he generates. Only, tonight, things seem notedly different. Firstly, there's an added level of disgust from the fans because of what they've already seen from their World Champion. And secondly, Landon doesn't acknowledge them. His usual mugging, mocking, posing, and posturing are all but gone as he rolls into the ring, handing off his World Heavyweight Title to referee Sexton Hardcastle before dropping into a crouch in centre ring, facing the entrance. "Well, apparantly Landon got what he wanted." accepts Mak. "Michael Stephens has agreed to face Landon Maddix one on one, Last Man Standing at 13th Hour in a match that has been over one year in the making. In a way, that's good news...but I still can't get over the methods Landon used to get that match." "That's for another night Mak. Let's concentrate on tonight." "Yes, good point. Landon needs to concentrate on tonight and on a potential future World Champion in Zyon..." "Oh crap that's right, he's wrestling Zyon. You know what, let's concentrate on 13th Hour again. Anything to get my mind off of this match." "I'M BORN" "I'M ALIVE" "I BREATHE" "YYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The unfortunately named Angkor Wats (try saying that when you're drunk) now go wild for the distinctive opening of Incubus' "Vitamin", which of course heralds the arrival of the Cruiserweight Champion. "And, introducing his opponent! From Elkhart, Indiana and weighing in at a flat, two hundred pounds. The two-time, current SWF Cruiserweight Champion of the WORLD! He is "THE UNIQUE YOUTH"... ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ - YYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOONNN!!!!" "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Pausing to soak up the thunderous reaction, Zyon flicks the hair from his eyes and stares down into the ring. Landon beckons him on, so naturally, Zyon breaks forward into a sprint and soars to the apron. To little surprise, it's at that point that Landon retreats into a neutral corner, letting Zyon do his thing as he enters the ring and climbs the ropes to salute his fans. Up goes the X, followed up with an arms aloft pose that would exude arrogance from anyone less adored than Zyon. Megan leaves the ring, still not fully concentrated on this match, leaving Landon to go through his warm-ups. "Zyon and Landon Maddix. This is like all my worst nightmares coming true." groans King, unenthused at the prospect of his two least favourites wrestlers locking horns. Or, exchanging spots. Referee Hardcastle removes the two title belts, unimportant for tonight at least, from the ring and checks that both men are ready, before ringing the bell and wasting little time in getting this match underway. *DINGDINGDING!* "And here we go, with the Heavyweight Champion and the Cruiserweight Champion, who ironically have a weight difference of just twenty five pounds." "The more things change, the more they stay the same." sneers King. Nimble as ever, Zyon shuffles into the middle of the ring, staying on his toes as Landon slowly approaches him. Landon shows little of his usual smug confidence as he meets Zyon in the centre of the ring and goes face to face with the young cruiserweight, talking some trash that's just out of the camera's audio range. Whatever was said obviously strikes a nerve though as Zyon begins to talk back, the two exchanging barbs. Eventually, Zyon gets a good'un in and Landon smirks to himself, accepting defeat...before suddenly stunning Zyon with a boot to the gut. And instantly the crowd's uproar turns to horror as Landon snatches Zyon in and hooks the arms, applying a double underhook and looking out into the fans with wide eyes! "Oh no...no, he's gonna try and break his nec..." Luckily for Zyon's neck though, The Unique Youth is able to snap upright before Landon can even attempt the Demonstar and backdrop him overhead! The crowd and pretty much everyone involved breathe a collective sigh of relief. Right up to his feet, Landon holds a hand to his back as he turns back to Zyon... *SLAP!* ...AND SLAPS THE TASTE OUT OF MADDIX'S MOUTH!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" "Alright!" yells Mak, noteably partizan. "Landon's out here trying to break necks, but Zyon isn't gonna take that shit! Not from Spike, not from Landon!" "When did Spike come into this? And you call me bitter!" Falling to his knees the shocked World Champion clutches his cheek as Zyon stands over him and re-iterates what Mak said, although maybe not in so many words. As Landon begins to come back up Zyon then goes back to his state of cat like readiness, light on the toes as he backflips and catches Maddix under the jaw with a Flash Kick! Zyon acrobatically lands on all fours, while Landon uses his momentum to guide himself to ringside, throwing up his hands and saying to hell with that. This has finally brought Megan's attention back to this match and she scuttles over to check on Landon, while Zyon is held back from following by Hardcastle. "ZY - ON!" "ZY - ON!" "ZY - ON!" "ZY - ON!" The crowd's support sparks something in Zyon though and the Cruiserweight Champion flies in the face of Hardcastle's order, rolling out on the opposite side of the ring and jogging around to where Megan and Maddix are regrouping. Megan sees Zyon first and wisely scuttles back off, abandoning Landon who gets clubbed with a forearm. Sprawling forward, Maddix falls, but pulls himself back up quickly as he tries to run from The Unique Youth. Only problem being, Zyon's a speedy mutha, catching up to Maddix and clubbing him again. This isn't Zyon's style so he then decides to throw Maddix back into the ring on the third catch, climbing to the apron and encouraging The Next Generation up. The fans see it coming. Landon doesn't. However, Megan does and blocks the expected Zyon springboard by grabbing his foot! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" "Landon's cheating manager cancels out Zyon's spottiness...I don't know whether to cry at one or the cry at the other!" despairs King. Zyon tries to kick Megan away, without actually kicking her because he's a nice guy. But a swift kick to the face might have got The Toddess away before Landon recoups and knees Zyon in the gut, Megan innocently retreating to her man's corner now he's in control. "I don't know why the referee's continue to allow Megan to stay out here." bemoans Mak. "We're barely two minutes in and already she's sticking her nose where it doesn't belong and blatantly cheating to aid her refound man." Despite signs of relief it stills seems like Landon's mind is elsewhere and he takes his time before following up with a forearm strike, wobbling Zyon. The Cruiserweight Champion's grip on the top rope tightens after a second forearm as he senses his balance weakening. And that tempts Landon, grabbing the rope himself and bringing in Zyon the hard way...only for Zyon land on his feet, in what would be a hard way if he wasn't agile enough to flip 360 in mid-air. "Incredible agility!" cheers Mak. Before Landon can react, Zyon hits the ropes in front of him. Landon prepares to catch him coming on the way back, lifting Zyon at the side but ending up tumbling overhead as Zyon counters with a tilt a whirl headscissors! A back elbow then awaits as the World Champion rushes back in. Reeling, Maddix haplessly walks into a standing dropkick, putting him down again and setting up the first cover... ONE! TWO! But Maddix is quickly out and quickly looking for another reprieve as he scrambles into a corner. Zyon has learnt his lesson and gives Maddix no time to recover, striding in with a boot before returning the forearm favour. One, two and three find the mark before Zyon grabs the wrist, wringing the arm for some added control before whipping Maddix into the opposite corner. Buckling in the buckle, Landon ends up slumped and a sitting target for Zyon who sprints in and dives in for his favoured knee to the face. Two boots to the face intercept him though, as Maddix gets a desperate block in. With a signal of 'that's enough', Landon then hops up and perches on the middle rope, the preparation for a long neglected go to move... *SMACK!* ...which Zyon apparantly remembers and thwarts, with an impressive standing vertical leap and an enziguri, striking Landon more in the shoulder than the back of the head. It still connects though and still sends Landon tumbling from the top, over and on to the floor. "You get the feeling that Landon Maddix could do without this match tonight." Francis analyses. "He did what he came to do tonight already and his mind is clearly not on Zyon. Already he's gone for the Demonstar and then the Crash Landon, with the hope of getting the win and getting out of here as soon as possible." "To be fair, he's got good reason." "True. If I'd crossed Michael Stephens as he had earlier, I'd want to steer clear of wherever he may be." "I was thinking more along the lines of slamming Megan back at the hotel, but point taken." Out on the outside again, Landon tries to ignore the hostile and rather touchy-feely Cambodian fans, brushing away outstretched arms as he pulls himself away from the barricade. Megan is nowhere to be seen this time. And it's soon obvious why that is, as Zyon breaks into a run-up and shoots towards the ropes, turning his back on the ropes at the end of his run and tumbling BACKWARDS over the top with an insane Running Moonsault Plancha Suicida!!! "WHAT!?!" Exactly. "What the hell was that!?!" King asks again, incredulous in the face of Zyon's athleticism. "Whatever it was, Zyon is having none of the problems Landon is! He's fully focused and he knows a victory tonight would virtually guarantee him a World Title shot!" Pulling himself up, Zyon is much more receptive of the eager Cambodians and slaps hands with a few before going back to the match at hand, hauling Maddix up and dumping him into the ring. Maddix is reeling and holds his left shoulder, the one Zyon just tumbled down on so theatrically. That gives Zyon time to set himself on the apron and warn referee Hardcastle to keep an eye on Megan, which is exactly what he does while The Unique Youth prepares for an unaffected springboard. Maddix stumbles up and Zyon gets the springboard, cocking back the arm. His usual preparation alerts Landon who instinctively ducks his head to block the oncoming forearm, but Zyon is able to adjust in mid-air and soar over Landon, snaring the waist and taking him over with a sunset flip... ONE! TWO! Kickout! Both men roll through and while Landon retreats, Zyon charges in with momentum on his side. Landon looks to use that momentum against him as he ducks his head nears the ropes, backdropping Zyon up and over the top...but merely to a safe landing on the apron. Through more relief than complacency, Landon walks away to collect himself, little realising what awaits behind him. That is, until Megan frantically points out her man's mistake, prompting Maddix to turn around just as Zyon springboards, cocks the arm back, soars... ...AND GETS DROPKICKED OUT OF THE AIR BY THE WORLD CHAMPION!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" "Ooh!" groans Mak. "One trip to the well too many for Zyon." "That's his problem." King gloats, ever happy at the chance to sound correct. "Zyon just loves those springboards, he loves to please the fans. What he doesn't love is rational thinking and rational thinking would have told him three springboard attempts so early in the match had to spell trouble. Landon's dumb, but not that dumb." "I knew this main event was a bad idea with you out here." Zyon writhes on the mat holding his gut while Landon takes the opportunity to get a breather, now realising that he's in a fight and any issues lingering from earlier have to be put to the back of his mind. Grabbing hold of Zyon's stringy hair (and earning a warning from Hardcastle in the process), Maddix drags Zyon up and drives a sharp knee into the gut! And a second! Zyon coughs and splutters while Maddix does a little sidestep to end up in front... ...where he applies a cravaté. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" "Oh for fu..." "Cravaté by Landon." Mak wisely interjects. "A hold he's become very fond of in recent months." "He's teasing me, isn't he? He can't be doing it because he thinks it smart, that's for sure. Zyon stands there holding his ribs, gasping for breath, so he applies that frikkin' necklock thing. He's doing this to spite me, I swear." "You give yourself too much credit." Clamping up on the cravaté Landon is happy to control the Cruiserweight Champion and his cruiserweight ways, slowing the pace of the match in the process. Zyon won't be springboarding around with Landon attached to his head. With the cravaté still applied, Maddix lifts another knee up into the gut to prove that he hasn't got the long term memory of a goldfish, keeping Zyon spluttering away. "ZY - ON!" "ZY - ON!" "ZY - ON!" "ZY - ON!" "You know, this is actually quite smart." argues Mak. "Landon is keeping Zyon close to him and neutralising his speed advantage. Plus, the angle of the neck and head is further hampering The Unique Youth's breathing." "You give him too much credit." Zyon is able to guide himself towards the ropes and look for an escape from this pretty simple hold. But Landon beats him to the punch with another knee to the gut, then takes Zyon over with a cravatémare and drops a leg across the throat. Zyon is again left struggling for air, a situation not helped by Maddix draping his 224 pounds over the chest with a lateral press... ONE! TWO! Kickout! Zyon sits straight back up in search of oxygen, while Landon looks to rob him of it with another elementary hold, a rear chinlock. "Neither of this men are known for their amateur backgrounds." admits Mak pre-emptively. Fighting to his feet, Zyon is again being worn down but certainly can't be classed as 'in trouble'. An elbow weakens up the chinlock and a second breaks it, but Landon simply reaches out and yanks Zyon back sharply with two handfuls of hair to bring him back down to the mat. Hardcastle again chastises the World Champion, but his words fall on deaf ears. Maddix is too busy going back after Zyon, aiming for the gut as he brings his relatively small frame down with an elbow drop. That doesn't seem to have too much behind it, so Landon grabs the hair again, sitting Zyon up... *SMACK!* ...and pounding Zyon's spine with a Dragon Kick! *SMACK!* ...and a second! Zyon slumps backwards now, his air supply being picked away slowly but surely. And Landon now looks to follow up some more. Coming off the ropes Maddix leaps up over Zyon, before coming directly down across the chest with a double stomp, dropping out as he bounces off The Unique Youth and bombing down with a back senton that earns him Megan's applause. And Megan's applause only. "Double Stomp and a Back Senton, patented combo from Landon!" groans Francis. "Double impact, you're left winded by the first and the instantanous follow-up of the second rids you of any air you may have had left." Sitting for a moment, Landon's familiar flamboyancy has returned as he smirks in the direction of the nearest cameraman, winking for the laydeez at home before lounging back with a relaxed cover... ONE! TWO! ZYON SHOCKS LANDON WITH A CRUCIFIX... ONE! TWO! NO! Landon kicks out and rushes back in with a soccer kick that lands directly across Zyon's stomach, putting Zyon back on the search for air and giving the World Champion time to breathe a massive sigh of relief. "Zyon may be hurt, but going for ridiculous covers like that is a dangerous thing to do at any point in a match." criticises The Franchise. Back on the offensive now is Landon as he steps over Zyon who is on all fours and simply drops, sitting his weight across the lower back! Crumbling, Zyon continues to struggle and referee Hardcastle moves in to check on him, but the Cruiserweight Champion isn't going to give up that easily. So Landon fires off another soccer punt across the ribs. Zyon writhes some more, giving Landon the opportunity to turn out to the crowd and pose. Arms out, palms flat. He's not giving this stuff up people. "What is he trying to prove?" asks Mak, confused. "He's got his match at 13th Hour, what does he expect to achieve by continuing to mock Michael Stephens?" "Oh, he obsessed Mak. We're not going to see the end of this until 13th Hour, minimum." The crowd give the expected response, still disgusted with Maddix for his actions earlier. It's the response Maddix was probably hoping for as he smirks the boos off and goes back to work on Zyon, pulling him off the mat for a Kawada-esque kicks aimed at the chest. Zyon rocks back on his knees and opens the chest up... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...leaving himself prone for a hard knifedge chop. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and a second. These shots are taking their toll even more than usual with the previous punishment and Zyon is left slumped on his knees, unable to fend Landon off as he grabs him behind the head and pulls him slowly to his feet. With the hands still clasped around the back of the head, Landon then fires off a couple of quick knees up into the ribcage before tucking the knees up and bringing Zyon down with an Inverted Lungblower! The wind rushes from Zyon's body again but Landon isn't done as he scrambles back up, positioning himself behind the languishing Cruiserweight Champion and hooking the hands around the front this time. Up go the knees again and down comes Zyon across them, this time with the traditional Lungblower!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" "And that was the last thing Zyon needed." "No, this is." corrects King, as Landon cradles Zyon up into a pin... ONE! TWO! TH- KICKOUT! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Maddix looks up at Hardcastle incredulously and questions the count, slapping his hand three times for visual impact, but Hardcastle insists it was just a two. Rushing over, Megan leans through the ropes and encourages Landon to stay on Zyon and not worry about the referee, so Landon does just that as he stands and waits on the Cruiserweight Champion. "ZY - ON!" "ZY - ON!" "ZY - ON!" "ZY - ON!" Impatient, Maddix gives up waiting and meets Zyon as he reaches his knees with plans on helping Zyon the rest of the way up. Zyon reels him in as he gets close though, snaring a leg and trying to lift Landon up into a fireman's carry. The lack of air and the aching ribs don't allow him to get Landon more than a foot or two off the ground however and Landon finds himself back to safe ground before CLUBBING Zyon over the back with a forearm. The Unique Youth falls to his knees, but Maddix doesn't settle for that, bringing Zyon up with a scoop and a slam. "You wanna fly, cruiserweight? Let me show you how it's done." Landon then yells down at Zyon while he clutches his back uncomfortably on the mat. Turning to the corner, Landon stoll over and slaps the top turnbuckle before exiting to the apron and heading up top. "This may be a little ill-advised." predicts Mak. "Landon has Zyon where he wants him, but for some reason he's going to the top rope." Climbing up the ropes despite the best concerns of his manageress, Maddix stops on the middle and treats the Cambodian natives to a quick shimmy dance before making the next step up. Setting himself on top, Maddix steadies himself, getting used to the top rope again after neglecting these aerial tactics for so long under JJ Johnson and Jay Hawke's mentorships. Zyon still hasn't moved from where he was slammed, still favouring his ribs. The perfect target for Landon, as he stands and leaps from up top... ...tucking the legs in, out... ...and MISSING the Frog Splash, as Zyon rolls despairingly out of the way!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" "A miscue!" cheers Francis. "I don't know if Zyon was playing a little possum, but he was able to avoid the Frog Splash and now both men are down!" "And it was a dumb move on Maddix's part." King gleefully announces. "He was in total control, but he's got some stupid chip on his shoulder about never being the Cruiserweight Champion and instead of staying on his opponent, he wanted to show him up. Pride comes before a fall. Literally in this case." Both Zyon and Landon remain down, in similiar predicaments to one another, both holding their guts and both taking an opportunity to collect sorely needed breath. "ONE!" "TWO!" Which is where Sexton shines, laying a double ten on the two champions of their weight divisions, although of course neither is restricted from the other's. "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FIVE!" Megan slams her fists on the ring apron encouraging Landon to 'suck it up', a worrying notion with their relationship in mind. Having taken the most punishment, Zyon is slowest to stir and slowest to begin picking himself up. "SIX" "SEVE..." Hardcastle's count is halted at seven as Maddix has sufficently got himself in fighting condition again and climbs to his feet. By now Zyon is to his knees with the ropes helping him up finally to his feet, by which time Landon is waiting on him. As the Cruiserweight Champion turns around, Maddix comes in confidently with a forearm...but Zyon ducks, popping Landon with a forearm of his own! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Back stumbles Landon, with Zyon advancing with another forearm! And a third! The World Champ is on the backfoot now as Zyon has found a second wind and uses it to rush the ropes. Seeing his opponent hurtle towards him, Maddix throws out a knee as a defence. Zyon spots it a mile away however and tumbles over it, snaring Maddix over with a schoolboy roll-up... ONE! TWO! Kickout! Coming back up, Landon is taken aback by Zyon's sudden comeback and is too eager to stop it, running headlong into spinning back kick. The Unique Youth pauses from that to favour his back again, but that pause urges Megan to take action as she jumps to the apron. Zyon is understandably distracted, along with Hardcastle, the cameraman, F unyon, virtually everyone in the audience. "Somebody needs to get her down!" protests Francis. "Allow me..." "Wait a minute, what happened to you not being the vigilante?" "Ah, this is different." But King needn't exert himself as Landon has recovered and now sneaks up behind Zyon. Grabbing him behind the head, Maddix does the first thing he can think to do in such a rush and pitches him forward, up and over the top rope. Luckily Megan sees it coming and dives for safety, not without a high-pitched shriek as Zyon's feet narrowly avoid her head. But Zyon is able to grab the top rope and hang on to land on the apron, so Megan is fine. Landon meanwhile dusts his hands with pleasure, smirking away...until he finally puts two and two together. "Oh God... ...MEGAN! ARE YOU OKA..." *THUD!* "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Landon's concern earns him a right hand to the face though, sending him stumbling backwards. A quick check from Zyon confirms Megan is out of reach, giving him no good reason not to springboard to the top, soar in with fist clenched, arm cocked... ...AND NAIL THE SPRINGBOARD FOREARM!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" "Fourth time's the charm!" Mak cheers. "Zyon finally hits the Springboard Forearm Smash and you can sense both the tide and his luck changing!" A newfound sense of confidence exudes from Zyon as, on the back of this mini-victory, he waits for Landon to get back up. He can sense the end. Especially as Landon gets back to his feet in a stupor and can barely stand steady, stumbling around and towards the Cruiserweight Champion. *SMACK!* Zyon lands a kick to the left shoulder! *SMACK!* A second kick, aimed at the same bodypart! *WHIFF!* Landon ducks the third however... ...but hang on a second, as Zyon pirouettes all the way through, takes the arm with a Fujiwara takedown and attempts to apply the Gouki Crossface!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA... Joy is short lived however, as Landon rolls through before Zyon can trap the arm between his legs and escapes the potential submission predicament. Rolling away, Zyon creates enough distance to be able to take a run at Maddix as he reaches his feet. However, Maddix ducks Zyon's attempted clothesline and forces Zyon to run on to the ropes again. Zyon has another idea and leaps before he can bounce, touching down on the top rope and tumbling back with the Half Moon. But again Landon is equal and sidesteps Zyon, then catches Zyon walking in with a duck of the head and a Samoan Drop! "Wow, impressive from Landon, able to stay a step ahead of the Cruiserweight Champion." admits Mak. "A weak Cruiserweight Champion." King argues. "Yes, he has taken some punishment." "Yeah that too." Favouring his left shoulder Maddix is unable to follow up with a pinfall attempt immediately. Encouragement from Megan wills him to forget about that and lay back with the right arm across the shoulders... ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! "GAH!" Frustration is the reaction from Landon as he has to force himself back up again, this time dragging Zyon with him. A couple of forearms soften Zyon up before Landon goes back to the ribs, landing a knee that has Zyon flagging once more. Cupping a hand under the jaw, Landon does the ol' 'cutthroat' dealy and signals to the non-English speaking Cambodians that it's OVAH~! Only, it's not, as Zyon elbows his way out of a Complete Shot attempt, then hooks Landon and drops him in a similiar fashion with Downfall! "A counter by Zyon, but his ribs are still giving problems and he hasn't got enough to make the pin straight away." sighs The Franchise. Landon ends up facedown on the mat, forcing Zyon to find some more reserves to first roll him over, then hook a leg for the cover... ONE! TWO! SHOULDER UP!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The crowd get on Hardcastle's case, but Zyon doesn't concern himself with that and instead hauls Landon back up to his feet. An arm wring sets up an irish whip to the corner, Landon nestling in the buckles. Zyon then gets himself another run-up and charges in, only for Maddix to get the feet up...but Zyon blocks the feet, catches Maddix and drags him out, straight into a Powerbomb!! "Wow, counter again by Zyon!" "And look where Maddix's ended up." points out King. "Straight in spot city." Indeed, Landon has landed in 'spot city', aka right in front of the turnbuckles, in perfect position for Zyon. Rubbing out some pain in the ribs, Zyon exits and heads to the top, bringing the Angkor Wat crowd to their feet with him. Zyon's climb is hampered by his previous injuries but he manages to fight through it and reaches the top regardless, setting himself upstairs and tumbles off, Megan shrieking prematurely as Zyon comes flipping down... ...WITH A 450!!!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ONE! TWO! THR - "REF, REF!" FOOT ON THE ROPES!!! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Megan barely gets Hardcastle's attention in time to point out the foot, nearly giving himself a coronary in the process. "Amazingly, Landon saved himself...but Zyon's going back up top!" Just as Mak calls, Zyon is indeed heading up top again. This time Zyon's feeling it and he scales up a little quicker, adrenaline urging him on for another flip. If the Cambodians had cameras they'd probably use them as Zyon shows majestic form, tumbling... ...this time with the Final Flash... ...ONTO THE KNEES!!! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" "God, that'll do the ribs no good!" The crowd deflate like...well, like Zyon's lungs, as Zyon goes through onto his hands and knees with an anguished look on his face. Megan is around to fan Maddix down with the trusty towel to get him some air. But Landon doesn't need it and shoos the treatment away, clambering back to his feet and stalking towards Zyon. There's a different look in Landon's eyes now. Vengeful. Almost evil. *THWACK!* Landon slams a kick across the spine. *THWACK!* Again. *THWACK!* *THWACK!* *THWACK!* *THWACK!* *THWACK!* Again and again and again... ...BEFORE SNATCHING ON THE DRAGON CLUTCH!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" "Land Of Nod!" calls Mak. "The Land Of Nod is applied!" "Look at his eyes Mak." King interrupts, mumbling slightly. "He's lost it." With a gaze focused on nothing but the distance, Landon tears away at the hold on the neck until Zyon bottoms out, stomach flat on the canvas. From here, there's no escape. It's just a matter of time as the World Heavyweight Champion picks away, waiting as Zyon clings onto the match despite the pain in his back, the pain in his neck, the sapping oxygen levels. *TAPTAPTAPTAP!* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" *DINGDINGDING!* Landon throws Zyon down and stands, breathing heavily. This sudden intense streak has come from nowhere and it's caught Landon as much by surprise as anyone. Looking down at his hands, Landon begins to catch his breath a little as Megan slides in and carefully approaches her man, checking that he's not still in his frenzied state by grabbing the wrist and raising his hand in the air... ...and Landon smirks, back in the real world. The world where Landon is the cocky SOB we all love to hate. "Your winner of the match, via submission... the SWF World Heavyweight Champion... LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MMMAAAADDIIIIIXXXXXXX!!" "He's lost it." King re-iterates. "I tell you what, Michael Stephens asked Landon if he was prepared to step completely over to the darkside and quite frankly, I think he's halfway there." "Halfway, minimum." Maddix continues to stand over Zyon as the World Title is handed to him and I've gotta go see ya'll later bye.

Time to be critical I'm afraid. Sorry if this sounds bitter, Zy. Zyon's match had the right elements and he used Landon well. I didn't mention the angle Toxx wrote earlier in the show which I should have done, so apologies for that. Now, I don't know why Zyon used so many European Uppercuts and suplexes, seeing as neither is in my moveset. I had to re-read the spot where Landon hit the belly to belly twice just to make sure it happened and it was Landon because it was too out of character for him to go for it. This is going to sound so hypocritical, coming from me I know...but it seemed at times like a bunch of moves that didn't go anywhere until somebody finally got a finisher. Landon worked the neck a bit but I don't think it was sold at all. The submission finishers were both wasted badly in half a paragraph with no build whatsoever. I know Zyon and Landon are notorious spot wrestlers, but still. It was a decent match, but I didn't get a really strong story from it. Also, nobody should ever use times in their matches unless it's needed in the rules like an Ironman Match, because nobody ever gets it right. 47 minutes?! Maybe on slow-mo.

We return from a commercial for OAOAST HeldDOWN~! (PLEASE write something this Thursday, somebody) and find ourselves in mid-entrance, on a PPV. Which would be insulting if this entrance was for a wrestler rather than a commentator. Swaggering around ringside, the OAOAST 24/7 Champion and former World Champion Crystal is making her way around towards Sofa Central, "Plug In Baby" playing her out as ever. Crystal takes the abuse from the crowd with good humour, reminding them that she is of course more successful and beautiful than they'll ever be, as she takes up Caboose's vacated indentation in the sofa and his headset too. COLE (whispering) Remember what we agreed, no funny business. COACH (also whispering) Gotcha. CRYSTAL Hey guys... COACH MAH BABY GUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRLLLLLLLLL~!~! COLE I give up. Crystal, welcome to the commentary position. I'm sorry about our friend here, he's a lonely man. CRYSTAL Oh, so you're nice to me when I'm out here sitting next to you? That's cute. COLE Ex...excuse me. CRYSTAL Oh come on, don't think I haven't heard what you say about me every week Michael Cole. About what a 'bitch' I've become. About how I don't deserve the 24/7 Championship because Gunner provided a small assist in my victory. Hell, two weeks ago you were saying I couldn't beat The Marv without help. The Marv! I'm a former World Champion and you need to start showing me a little respect because of it. COACH Yeah! Michael Cole, being a hundred pound weakling, accepts defeat as the opening guitar riff of "Vicarious" by Tool starts up. Applause can be heard through Crystal's headset, her own applause of course, as when the main riff kicks in Gunner Sharps emerges to a less than welcome reaction. The monstrous seven footer raises his arms over his head before striding on to the ring. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, this contest is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, he hails from Detroit, Michigan. Standing 7 feet tall and weighing in at three hundred and seventy pounds... GGUUUUUUUNNEEEEEEERRRRRRRR... SSHHHHHAAAAAAARRRRRRPPSSSSSSSS!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Gunner strides on down the patented PPV rampway, towering even higher over the fans below as he reaches the ring, climbing in over the top. Crystal and the lapdog that is the Coach give Gunner a standing ovation as the bigman pulls away his facemask and removes his orange jumpsuit, readying himself for action. COLE You have to be feeling pretty lucky tonight Crystal, because Leon Rodez actually chose to face the monster Gunner over you, giving you the night off. CRYSTAL Firstly, I don't feel 'lucky'...I feel confident. If Rodez had chosen to wrestle me then I'd have wiped the floor with his pornstar ass and retained my 24/7 Championship. As it is, he's chosen Gunner. Obviously he's all hair gel and no brains. COLE Well, the reason Leon declined the match with you is because he plans on...well, wooing you. CRYSTAL He...he WHAT? COLE You didn't see HeldDOWN~! two weeks ago? CRYSTAL Uhm, duh, of course not! [b]*GOOOOONG!*[/b] "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" "C'mon man" "DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK..." The crowd juke and jive along to the beats of LL Cool J's "Mama Said Knock You Out" as decked out in blue, Leon Rodez spins through the entrance way with a beaming smile. Shooting a finger to the sky, Rodez then begins to jig his way on down the aisle, tagging hands with his left while clearly signalling to Gunner that height is no concern to him, despite the full foot of difference between the two. BUFFER And, his opponent hails from Grand Rapids, Michigan... weighing in at two hundred and twenty eight pounds. He is a former two-time OAOAST 24/7 Champion... "SILKY SMOOTH"... LLLEEEEEEOOOOOOOONN RRRROOOOOODDEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Reaching the end of the aisle, Rodez removes his robe and points out his abs to Crystal. CRYSTAL Ugh! COLE So, not impressed then? Not one to give up, Leon climbs up to the middle turnbuckle on the outside, a sufficient enough height to seek out Crystal and make some more grandious gestures. Taking exception, Crystal stands up at the announce table and folds her arms to show her thoughts. But Leon doesn't give up. Which, unfortunately, distracts him from Gunner Sharps striding over and hiptossing him HIGH into the ring! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" *DINGDINGDING!* CRYSTAL There we go Gunner! Beat this dirty horndog down! Despite a warning from referee Charles Robinson, this minor misdemanour is not enough to halt this match's progress. It happened before the bell too, so if it were deemed a DQ, too bad. Rodez comes up to his knees clutching his back as Gunner stalks over, driving a deliberating boot into the chest. The force rolls Rodez through and back to his knees, where he takes a second boot. Again Rodez is rolled through and this time he's brought to his feet by Gunner, who shoves him against the ropes and DRIVES the knee into the gut. Cue applause from Crystal, which Gunner is spurred on by as he whips Rodez into the ropes, turning to his business partner and giving her a nod...distracting him long enough for Rodez to baseball slide through the legs on his rebound. Confused, Gunner lumbers around in search of Leon... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and finds his arm crashing off his monstrous chest! *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...not once but twice! Gunner's chest is pretty impressive though and it absorbs this chops with little effect, allowing him to shrug Leon's attempted third chop away and deliver a punch to the forehead strong enough to drop him to the canvas! COLE Wow, what a punch! COACH You know, I love that double moonsault thing you do, it's really impressive. How did you learn you could do that type of thing? COLE COACH! Right back up, Leon stumbles back into Gunner's grasp again. The bigman grabs an arm and sends Leon hurtling across the ring and into the turnbuckles with an irish whip, causing The Silky Smooth One to nestle into the turnbuckles. Beating his chest, Gunner then looks to squash Leon like...uh, something squashable. The U.S Baseball Team! Holla! Uhm, anyway, Gunner charges in. However, Rodez sees him coming and is able to take action before being crushed by three hundred, seventy plus pounds, connecting with a dropkick to the knee that sends Gunner sprawling face first into the top turnbuckle! Gunner goes stumbling out as Rodez looks to strike while the iron is hot, hopping to the middle rope and balling up the fist...FOR THE ASS PUNCH! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" GUNNER RRRRROOOOOOOAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR!!!!!! RODEZ *eep* No selling the deadly Ass Punch, Gunner looks for vengeance as he chases after Rodez. Valuing his good looks, Rodez does what any smart person would do and runs from this chase though and the two circle around the ring, with Leon able to outrun Gunner with ease. That soon becomes tiring for him however, despite his good cardio, so Rodez comes to a stop and lures Gunner in, sidestepping and allowing him to bounce off the ropes. A clothesline is ducked and Gunner bounces off the opposite side, looking to mow through The Silky Smooth One. RODEZ STOOOOOOOOOOOOP! Look up there! Grinding to a halt, Gunner looks up to see what's so concerning Leon on the ceiling... *SMACK!* ...and earns himself an enziguri upside the head! "YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" CRYSTAL Come on Gunner, don't fall for that crap! Gunner doesn't go down, so Rodez winds up and looks for a clothesline to take the seven footer the rest of the way. A sidestep from Gunner forces Leon into the ropes though. Rebounding back, Leon comes charging with another attempted clothesline, picking up some steam... GUNNER STOOOOOOOOOOOOP! *SMACK!* Not falling for that tomfoolery, Rodez nails Gunner upside the head with a second enziguri, this one enough to send the Michigan monster dropping facefirst to the canvas! "YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" CRYSTAL Gah, you've gotta be kidding me! COLE I don't think Gunner Sharps should try to match wits with...well, anyone. CRYSTAL You do realise I'll tell him you said that. And I won't hold him back while he beats those hippy beads off from around your neck. COACH HA! Good one Crystal...by the way, what conditioner do you use, because your hair is looki... COLE COACH! With Gunner down, Rodez checks that his washboard abs are undamaged before coming off the ropes. Gunner begins to push himself up just at the wrong time as Leon then comes flying in with a basement dropkick that grazes across the top of the seven footer's head! Rolling his suddenly less intimidating opponent over, Rodez then dives on top... 1... 2... Kickout! Shaking it off, Gunner continues to push himself up so Rodez goes on the attack with some forearms. Brawling doesn't prove to be a good route to go down so Rodez switches up and goes for the legs with some kicks to the hamstring, trying to take away the vertical base of his much taller opponent. Gunner shrugs them off however, palming Rodez away. Rodez uses the momentum to go backwards into the ropes, coming back with another basement dropkick to the knee. Down to the other goes Gunner to the delight of the fans, but he's soon coming back up. Hitting the ropes again, Leon tries again, taking out the other knee with the dropkick this time. But even despite two weakened legs Gunner is climbing back up, forcing Leon to go off into the ropes again. This time though, Gunner is waiting and he strides forward, causing Rodez to run straight into a BIG, Big Boot to the jaw!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" CRYSTAL Ooh, not so pretty now are we Leon? However will you get by without your good looks? COACH No need to be so generous Crystal, he was never pretty to begin within..... unlike you of cour... COLE COACH! The head-on meeting with Gunner's size whatever boot leaves Rodez down and dazed on the canvas, unable to collect his thoughts in a way to help him get back up. Stalking over, big Gunner grabs Leon by hair and shorts to haul him off the mat and then grabs on a goozle, ready for a Chokeslam. Desperately Leon starts to hammer down on the arm with elbows to try and break Gunner's stronghold, adding in some elbows to the temple when that doesn't work. More bugged than anything is Sharps though as he shrugs Leon off, only to charge through with a brutal clothesline! Calling Robinson over, Gunner places a foot on the chest by way of a pin... 1... 2... Kickout. CRYSTAL No! Come on Gunner, think! Flipping Leon over onto his front, Gunner now sits down across the back and clamps his hands under the chin to apply a Camel Clutch. Zoom in cameraman! "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" CRYSTAL Aw, listen to the fans chanting for their precious Leon. When are they going to realise they're here to help pay our wages and nothing they do really matters? COACH Dumping these losers was the best move you ever made, Crystal. Gunner pulls back on the head and keeps Leon bottomed out on the canvas, surprisingly good technical execution of the hold from the big brawler. The pain is immediately etched on Leon's face as Gunner turns to Sofa Central, getting a smile of approval from Crystal...and a smile of approval from Coach, who wants to feel included bless him. ROBINSON C'mon Leon, whadda you say? RODEZ IRAN NUMBAH VUN! ROBINSON ...do you give up, I'll ring the bell if you give me the word. RODEZ AAH! UU ESS AY, ACHTOOEY! OH...ow, man this hurts! CRYSTAL What is WRONG with this idiot? Sensing the hold isn't getting the job done, Gunner stands back up and brings back Leon to his feet with him. Showing off his power Gunner lifts Leon in his arms like the proverbial ragdoll and carries him around the ring, before dropping him across a knee with a Ribbreaker! The groan from Rodez indicates that funtime is over and paintime has begun, Gunner brushing him from his knee and making the cover... 1... 2... Kickout! CRYSTAL It's okay Gunner, keep your cool. COLE What exactly is your relationship with Gunner, Crystal? CRYSTAL That's been documented already. If you're going to ask me something, make it relevant. COLE Okay then...are you not worried about somebody coming from the crowd and attacking you to try and win your 24/7 Title while your backup is in the ring fighting a match? CRYSTAL No comment, stick to the match. Gunner backs Rodez up into a corner and clubs him across the chest with an overhand forearm that leaves The Silky Smooth One's silky smooth skin a nasty shade of magenta. Another forearm just worsens the pigment before Gunner grabs a wrist and whips Leon out into the opposite corner. In follows Gunner, with a big clothesline in the corner, crushing Leon against the buckles! Slumping out, Leon collapses to the mat and Gunner makes the cover again... 1... 2... Kickout! Powering Leon back up again, Gunner hoists his opponent over the shoulder with ease and comes running out of the corner, looking for the Running Powerslam...but Leon slips out the back and latches onto Gunner with a back mounted sleeper! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE There's a counter and now Gunner might be in trouble! Gunner flails around in the sleeper looking for the ropes, carrying Leon on his back...and eventually, he finds the ropes. Referee Robinson lays on the obligatory five count. That proves too long for Gunner to wait though and he manages to break up the sleeper grip, throwing Leon up and dropping him snake eyes style across the top rope! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" CRYSTAL Shows what you know. As Leon is whiplashed back, Gunner guides him down to the canvas for another cover... 1... 2... KICKOUT! Now beginning to look a little frustrated, big Gunner glares at Robinson and causes him to wisely back away to a safe distance. Gunner then helps Rodez back to his feet, not expecting to be shocked... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...by a chop. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...another. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and a third, forcing Gunner into action as he knees Rodez in the gut before pulling him in to a standing headscissors. Running the ominous thumb across the throat, Gunner then lifts Rodez up for a Powerbomb...but Leon floats through and lands on his feet in front of Gunner. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...another chop. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...number five. *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and there's a sixth, leaving Gunner finally in a little trouble. Looking to take this up, Rodez grabs on a 3/4 facelock and brings Gunner down across his knee with The Facial, snapping Gunner back upright where he finds himself on the end of a forearm flurry. Rodez lands a succession of seven before Gunner eventually finds a comeback with a boot to the gut. CRYSTAL Okay, enough Gunner, END IT! Able to hear this cry...and see Crystal standing up at the announce table, mouthing the words and running her hands past her throat...and see Coach doing the same...Gunner lands another boot before grabbing the arm, whipping Leon off the ropes. Gunner then sets himself ready to deliver All Guns Blazing (Black Hole Slam). However, at the last moment, Leon hooks an arm around the top rope, despairingly gripping on to stop himself rebounding back. Gunner stops too, his surprise subsiding into anger as Rodez smugly wipes some sweat from his brow and turns to inform Crystal "I'm okay, baby!". And that anger prompts Gunner to charge in. Just what Leon wanted. Swiping out the legs, Rodez lands a drop toehold that sends the seven footer sprawling throat first across the middle rope and pops back to his feet for a special, Jewel In The Crown dedicated JIG~! COLE C'mon Coach, get ready... Rodez then breaks off the ropes and sprints back, DRIVING the weight into the lower spine! COACH ... COLE Oh okay...CALL THAT BITCH BOJANGLES~! Only looking moderately affected, Gunner eases himself off the ropes, turns around, earning himself a jab! A jab! A jab! A jab! A ja...NO! Gunner blocks, grabs the arm and HAULS Rodez forward into a Short Arm Clothesline! Gunner drops to his knees straight away with the pin... 1... 2... KICKOUT! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" CRYSTAL Da... COACH DAMNIT! I couldn't agree more Crystal, damnit damnit damnit! "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" The crowd will The Silky Smooth One on as Gunner backs off into a corner and encourages him back to his feet. Crouched down, arms signalling, the grit-toothed monster waits. Impatiently. Slowly Leon begins to pull himself up as Gunner hops up and down, impatience growing as finally Leon stops, repositions his eyebrows (yes, in the middle of a match) and gives Crystal a wink! Crystal is shocked, but the real shock is coming as Gunner sprints across with the MOTHER FUCKING IMPACT SPEAR... *CLANG!* "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ...and makes MOTHER FUCKING IMPACT shoulder first into the ringpost!! CRYSTAL NO! Staggering out from the corner, Gunner clutches onto his arm and leaves himself open for Rodez on the turn. A boot to the knee buckles him down a little, allowing Rodez to reach around the head and step a foot behind, whipping Gunner around as best possible with Shell Shock!! Gunner lands right on his face and bounces over onto his back, as Leon scurries to the apron and begins to climb up top. COLE That was The Shocker and I think our guest commentator is a little shocked in her own right! CRYSTAL GET UP GUNNER! MOOOVE, MOOOVE! Reaching the top, Rodez stands and turns to Sofa Central, blowing a kiss towards the fuming pairing of Crystal and Coach before he tumbles from the top, LANDING the 450 Splash right across Gunner's chest and head! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" 1... 2... 3!!!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" *DINGDINGDING!* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... LLLLEEEEEOOONN RRROOOODDEEEEEZZZZZZZ!! CRYSTAL GAH! Crystal throws down her headset... COACH GAH! ...and so does The Coach, as Leon pushes to his knees with a smirk. Crystal has already stormed off with her 24/7 Championship in tow and is disappearing out of sight by the time Leon pulls himself up on the ropes and climbs to the middle rope, one hand over his abdomen while the other flashes the thumbs up to his adoring fans. Turning back to the rampway, Leon then leaps down from the ropes and rushes over to the far side of the ring, holding the ropes open and inviting Crystal back to celebrate with him. Flustered, Crystal shoos the suggestion off and continues to storm off, leaving Leon to celebrate alone. COLE Well, impressive stuff and an impressive victory for Leon Rodez. More coming.

COLE Up next, it's the six person tag match, which after this Thursday night has a whole lot riding on it. The new HI-YAH Tag Team Champions The Beverly Hills Blonds join forces with their manager Mackenzie DeCenzo... COACH Former 24/7 Champion, Mackenzie DeCenzo. COLE ...to take on the former champions and until this Thursday unbeaten duo of D*LUX and their manager, Jade Rodez. The titles are on the line in this one, but so too is Jade Rodez's self respect. In order to get the belts on the line, Jade has had to agree to a certain 'stipulation'. If The Blonds and Mackenzie win, Jade has to become...I can't believe I'm saying this...she'll be forced to become Ned's slave for a month. And with that, let's take you back to Josh Matthews who's standing by with the challengers tonight. *STARWIPE~!* Back at the interview position, the less jovial than usual members of D*LUX stand either side of Josh and Jade Rodez, who is ready to fight...pigtails and all. MATTHEWS Jade, it's been many months since we've seen you compete in the OAOAST and never have the stakes been higher for you. But what I'm wondering is why you agreed to the stipulations proposed by Ned Blanchard? JADE Thursday night, Ned and Simon stole the titles. They didn't deserve to win and we certainly didn't deserve to lose the way we did. I'm confident that tonight will be different and that's why I agreed. Tyler and Shayne deserve the titles. We've worked hard to get where we have and we worked hard for those belts. Sometimes, a manager has to make a sacrifice to get her team to the top. If teasing Ned a little is that sacrifice, like, whatever, that's fine. MATTHEWS And teasing meaning mental teasing and not...you know...physical teasing? Jade casts a sideways look at Josh before sighing and calling D*LUX away and on to the ring. *RE-STARWIPE~!* COACH Jeez, what a pessimist. A month with Ned Blanchard doesn't seem like much of a 'sacrifice' to me, he knows how to treat a lady and make a month seem like an eternity. COLE I don't doubt that. Five minutes with Ned would seem like an eternity to me. CABOOSE By all accounts that's about as long as you'd last. "JUST ONE ON ONE THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY! JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT! JUST ONE ON ONE THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY! JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT!" The awkward silence is broken by the awkward choice of a wrestling theme song, "First To Believe" by A1. They're not monsters, but they're damn sure meterosexual. Not looking quite their usual selves "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant and "Showtime" Shayne Brave emerge through the entrance way decked out in purple denim, a fine choice indeed, as it matches the ring attire of their inexperienced partner Ms. Jade Rodez! Doing a couple of quick squats and limbering up the muscles, Jade points the way down the OAOAST trademark elevated PPV ramp for her team. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following six person tag team contest is scheduled for one fall and it is Title vs. Slavery, with the HI-YAH World Tag Team Championships and Jade Rodez's compliance with Ned Blanchard's ever wish on the line! And in this match, the titles CAN change hands on a countout or on a disqualification. Introducing first, the challengers for the titles. At a total combined weight of five hundred and fourty three pounds...the team of JADE RODEZ and her partners, the former HI-YAH Tag Team Champions... "TREMENDOUS" TYLER BRYANT... "SHOWTIME" SHAYNE BRAVE... they are D*LLLLLUUUUUUUXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Five hundred and fourt three pounds...and at least half of that is Jade's contribution to the trio. COLE Oh come on Coach! COACH Hey, no big deal. The Coach likes a little meat on his women. CABOOSE My God you're a walking stereotype. Reaching the end of the rampway Tyler and Shayne half-enter the ring, holding open the ropes for Jade who glides in and immediately takes issues with Michael Buffer's weight information. Buffer showed her his card though and Jade accepts defeat before turning back to the entrance to beckon on the opponents. Tyler and Shayne de-jacket and they too beckon on the California trio. "D - LUX!" "D - LUX!" "D - LUX!" "D - LUX!" The crowd are already solidly behind the challengers, even before "Call Me" by Blondie hits, prompting a group of backstage hands to come flying out from the back, dragging a lavish red carpet with them. The carpet only reaches halfway down the ramp, but it's good enough for the triumphant trio of Ned Blanchard, Simon Singleton and Mackenzie DeCenzo as they emerge and marvel at the grand entrance. Noteable is the now infamous clapboard in Mackenzie's hands, which she gleefully snaps a couple of times in D*LUX's direction, earning her scowls from all three. BUFFER And, their opponents. All hailing from Beverly Hills, California. They weigh in at a total combined weight of four hundred, sixty pounds, plus an undisclosed amount...the team of the former OAOAST 24/7 Champion, Business Consultant MACKENZIE DECENZO... and she presents, the defending HI-YAH WORLD Tag Team Champions... SIMON SINGLETON and "THE HANDSOME HUSTLER" NED BLANCHARD... THE BEVERLY HILLS BLLLLOOOONNDDSSSSSSSSS!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Reaching the end of the aisleway, the posing and posturing HI-YAH Tag Team Champions take up issue with the partizan crowd. With all three on the ramp distracted, D*LUX look to sieze their opportunity. Breaking forward, Tyler Bryant performs a seamless leap to the top rope and soars out of the ring, crashing into Ned with a Spaceman Plancha and sending Ned's belt flying from his hands! And before Simon has time to take what happened in, Shayne Brave springboards to the top and comes at Singleton with feet extended, landing a Springboard Dropkick that sends Simon tumbling back down the rampway! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE WOW! D*LUX aren't waiting around while The Blonds stall tonight! Tyler goes to work on Ned with some right hands, while Simon and Shayne both stay down from their hard landings on the ramp. That leaves just Mackenzie, standing in disbelief at the scene around her. In the process though, she turns her back on the ring and on Jade Rodez who leaves the ring and grabs Mackie by the hair! A loud, ear piercing shriek from Mackenzie doesn't deter Jade as she tosses her into the ring and follows, leaving the Beverly Hills Blonds' Business Consultant begging for mercy! *DINGDINGDING!* The bell officially rings as Jade advances on Mackenzie, balling up her fist with intent. The crowd urge Jade to smash it right into the pretty mouth of the former 24/7 Champion and Jade intends to do just that, until Mackenzie finally realises begging off isn't working and instead intercepts. A headbutt to the gut doubles Jade over, allowing Mackenzie to land a forearm to the side of the head. COLE Ooh, Jade stalled a little too longer to get the crowd behind her and she paid for it. CABOOSE A habit that evidently runs in the family. Despite her limited wrestling ability, Mackenzie seems happy to stay on the offense, with two more forearms before pausing to fix her hair. Crouching down, the loudmouth business consultant then talks some trash to the youngster before pulling Jade up to face her...and earning a HARD forearm to the face! Mackenzie goes stumbling backwards and looks totally shocked, even more so when Jade comes after her again, forcing Mackie to dive from the ring and retreat to the floor. Jade gives chase, while Mackie hauls ass. "KICK HER ASS JA - ADE, KICK HER ASS!" *CLAPCLAP!* "KICK HER ASS JA - ADE, KICK HER ASS!" *CLAPCLAP!* Meanwhile on the ramp, the battle continues between The Blonds and D*LUX. Shayne and Simon exchange blows back towards the entrance while near the ring, Tyler is dealing with Ned with some right hands. Ned is backed up towards the ropes and Tyler comes in with a charge, which Ned avoids and counters by way of a knee to the gut. With Tyler winded, Ned turns the pop wannabee around and lands a right of his own, draping Tyler against the ropes and making him a stationary target for a charge. Unfortunately for The Handsome Hustler, Tyler's idea of stationary is different from many people's and he ducks his head, backdropping Ned over the top and into the ring. Still, Ned manages to land on his feet and when Bryant tries to a shoulder, he ends up crashing headfirst into Ned's knee! Tyler lies draped over the middle rope as Ned drives in an elbow for good measure before going to the nearest corner and climbing to the middle rope, facing Tyler. BLANCHARD We are rolling... aaaaaand ACTIO... *UGH!* "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Ned's spiel is cut off by Shayne Brave and a firm punch to the gut which pre-empts any leap from The Handsome Hustler. For a moment Shayne thinks to check on his partner, but Ned reaches out for him so Shayne fires off a punch...and again...a third and Ned almost topples back and over the rope, barely clinging on to his seated position. Shayne then clambers up the buckles on the outside and perches on the top rope. With his left arm, Shayne hooks a 3/4 facelock and looks to drive Ned with a Hamachan Cutter. Ned has other ideas though, blocking. So does Simon Singleton. Only, he doesn't block... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...instead jogging down the aisle and CHOPPING Showtime across the shoulder blades. CABOOSE That's just a nasty thing to have done to you. Stings for days, trust me. Shayne is now in a precarious position and steps carefully onto the sagging middle rope. Stepping into the ring, Simon gives Tyler a quick kick before hooking up Shayne and bringing him into the ring with a suplex...only to drop him back forward and hang him on the top rope, above Tyler who's still on the middle. D*LUX are stacked like a Orio as Ned regains his balance on the middle rope, Simon holding their opponents in place. Leaving the talk out this time, Ned then stands and comes flying off the middle, with a legdrop across the back of Shayne's head, which in turn comes down on Tyler too!! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Incredible!! Two for the price of one for Ned Blanchard!! That legdrop sent Shayne Brave's forehead CRASHING into the back of Tyler's head! COACH That's what we in the biz' call a double feature! The ropes bounce Shayne back and out of the ring, on the ramp where he holds his head. Tyler remains draped on the middle rope which an equally throbbing head. But together The Beverly Hills Blonds drag him off and into the centre of the ring, where Singleton makes the pin... 1... 2... KICKOUT! Tyler only just kicks out, which would be a relief to Jade Rodez, if she wasn't busy stalking Mackenzie up the ramp. Referee Billy Silverman calls for them to get back to the ring, while keeping half an eye on the Blonds as they pull Tyler up for a double team. COACH And here's why Ned and Simon are the champs right here, some polished tag team wrestling. A double whip by The Blonds sets Tyler up. On the rebound, Ned presses Tyler up into the air and guides him down across the knee with an elevated gutbuster, before getting swiftly out of the way. That's because Singleton has hit the ropes and is charging in, lunging forward with a knee that catches Tyler in the side of the head, and hard! COACH Excellent stuff! That's why they're the first men to win the Tag Titles together in the OAOAST and in HI-YAH! COLE Although, they won the HI-YAH belts in the OAOAST. COACH Doesn't matter. They made history, their names will go down on the OAOAST's Tag Team Walk Of Fame...if such a thing existed. Attempting to gain control, Silverman looks for one in one out and gets it, Ned leaving the ring while Simon hooks a leg with a pin... 1... 2... Kickout! Jade now returns to the ring and checks on Shayne, Mackenzie sneaking down the ramp and going to her corner on the opposite side of the ring. And with that, we've stumbled upon a regular tag format. Hooray! In the ring, Simon swaggers back up and encourages Tyler to his feet, waiting on him with a right hand. Two more leaving Tyler rocking and give Simon chance to hit the ropes, soaring with a flying lariat that floors "Tremendous" Tyler. And the combination of Mackenzie's OTT applause and Simon's mugging for the cameras earns him a sound booing. COLE It says a lot when that man is the least concieted of your trio. Wrapping a front facelock on Tyler, Simon guides the Tremendous One back to his feet, controlling his opponent while Ned Blanchard tags himself in. Simon exposes the gut for a boot from Ned, who then turns back to the D*LUX corner and blows a kiss in Jade Rodez's direction! A clearly disgusted Jade turns away from the Handsome Hustler, who goes back to the boots on Tyler. Boot after boot, stomp after stomp rain down on Tyler before finally referee Silverman steps in. Unfortunately though, as he does so he guides Ned over towards D*LUX's corner. Ned blows another kiss to Jade and finally Shayne Brave has had enough and enters the ring, but that merely serves to distract Silverman and allow Singleton to sneak in with some stomps of his own! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE And now look at this...THIS is why Ned and Simon won the OAOAST and HI-YAH Tag Team Titles, cheap tactics like this! COACH Ease up Mikey. Ned's just feeling a little frisky with Jade in his eyeline, that's all. He's an emotional man. COLE He's a sleazeball. Finally Silverman gains control and as Simon sneaks back to the apron, it's Ned back on the offense. Pulling Tyler up, Ned whips him off into the ropes and lands a back elbow. Quick cover by Ned... 1... 2... And a quick kickout. Shooing away the referee, Ned again drags Tyler up with a handful of hair and scoops him up, bringing him down across the knee with another gutbuster. Tyler groans in pain as the confident Blanchard shoves him onto his back and DEMANDS a count... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Blanchard with the quick covers, keeping the pressure on the youngster. COACH Oh he wants the win bad, [i]real bad[/i]. The sooner Ned can put this kid away the sooner the month starts. Look at Ned Mikey, he can smell Ja...uhm...'it'. He can smell 'it'. It being the victory. CABOOSE Good cover, pervy. Ned and Simon make the exchange with the Handsome Hustler firing Simon up with a slap across the chest, testosterone running wild. Taking this encouragement in his stride, Simon thwarts any hopes Tyler had of reaching for a tag, pulling him towards the Beverly Hills corner and into a swift back suplex. Backing into his corner, the second rope is Simon's next destination, waiting on Tyler to get back up. However "Tremendous" Tyler doesn't play into Singleton's hands and instead begins to crawl away towards a tag. Thinking quickly, Ned slaps Simon on the back and tags himself in, rushing in to stomp Tyler. Simon remains on the middle rope, so Ned quickly diverts referee Silverman to the D*LUX corner, before hitting a backbreaker on Tyler. He then keeps Bryant draped over the knee, while Simon soars off the middle with an elbow to flip Bryant off the knee and on his head on the canvas! COLE Devestation Device! COACH It's like their music says, pain and destruction are their middle names! CABOOSE No it doesn't! Their music says 'you can call me any, any time'. Shooing his partner out, Blanchard now calls over Silverman as he makes the cover... 1... 2... SAVE BY SHAYNE! MACKENZIE Places people, places! COACH Yeah, places people! I swear, these extras think they can go wherever they please. As if Brave wasn't frustrated enough he's now escorted back to the corner, his pleas for the referee to turn around and see Ned Blanchard's blatant choke falling on deaf, uninterested ears. And by the time Shayne is out and Silverman is in position, the wily veteran Blanchard is doing nothing more sinister than tagging in his partner. Singleton and Blanchard take an arm apiece and send Tyler off into the ropes. Jade's relatively short reach means she misses the blind tag, as Tyler rebounds away from his partners and towards his opponents. Drop toehold by Ned, followed up with an elbow from Simon! Patented New, New Midni...uhm, Beverly Hills Blonds. "LET'S GO TY - LER!" "LET'S GO TY - LER!" "LET'S GO TY - LER!" "LET'S GO TY - LER!" Backing into the ropes again, Simon leaves his tag partners to try and silence the crowd, concentrating instead on dropping a leg down across the back of the head! Simon stays sat after the legdrop, distracted by Ned who has ran across the apron and into his eyeline. And making weird hand motions. Weird hand motions only Simon seems to understand. SINGLETON TAKE TWO! *BAM!* Simon lifts the leg and slams it across the back of the head again like a clapboard. SINGLETON TAKE THREE! *BAM!* And again! COLE Re-diculous. This punnery provides great amusement for Simon and Ned who laugh away uproariously, embracing either side of the ropes and earning themselves screams of derision from the fans. Mackenzie's applause starts almost as uproarious as the laughter. But slowly she stops and turns to panic, screaming at Ned and Simon to turn around, as Tyler has fought to his feet, dropkicking Simon in the back which causes Ned to plummet to the arena floor! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE I guess they haven't brushed off all of Jim Cornette's bad habits just yet after all! Horror struck, Simon holds his hands up in despair and apology. But he should be more worried about what waits behind him, as with a hand pinned to his neck Tyler waits. Slowly Singleton turns and he soon regrets doing so as Tyler meets him with a right hand. A second. Three, four, five, six and it's officially a flurry, people! Tyler eventually halts and whips Singleton across the ring, ducking the head ready for a backdrop. Seeing this coming a mile off it's a simple matter for Simon of putting on the brakes a landing a boot to the chest to snap Tyler upright. Confidence refound, Simon then comes with a clothesline... ...but Tyler rolls underneath and dives with a tag to Shayne Brave! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE And there's the tag! COACH That part's going to end up on the cutting room floor... COLE Would you STOP with the puns already! Scurrying to the top, the fresh "Showtime" Shayne is able to reach the top before Simon can turn and waits on him with a missile dropkick! Simon is rolled to his feet by the momentum and takes a standing dropkick, also putting him down. Up to the apron comes Ned now, but Shayne spots him and a forearm drops Ned back to his far from adoring public on the floor. Fired up, the young teeny bopper points a finger down at Ned with some non-threatening trash talk, distracting him momentarily. But not momentarily enough...or momentarily enough for his liking...as Singleton sprints in only to get backdropped over the top and to the floor! The Beverly Hills Blonds collect themselves on the floor as Shayne now rallies the crowd into some rhythmical clapping before bursting across the ring, hitting the ropes... *SLAP!* COLE Blind tag by Jade! ...and rushing back with a NO HANDS PLANCHA, wiping out the Blonds in one fair swoop! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The three bodies on the floor pile up, but all eyes are now on the ring as Jade Rodez steps in. Panicking, Mackenzie tries to get away...but Jade catches her before she can disembark from the apron and beils her over the top, into the ring to a HUGE pop! COLE Alright! We're gonna see the ladies get it on again to the delight of this crowd! COACH And this announcer! Growling, teeth gritted, Jade grabs hold of Mackenzie's blond hair and yanks her to her feet despite pleas for mercy. Jade lands a forearm! And another! A third and Mackie is wobbling, only her long locks preventing her from falling to the ground. Grabbing the arm, Jade executes an irish whip and sends Mackenzie crashing into the corner, then follows in with the Double Knees~! COACH Oh no, don't do that to them! COLE Them? COACH Her! CABOOSE Her? COACH ...okay, I meant them! Breasts are people too you know! Winded, Mackenzie stumbles out into a scoop and a slam. Not the prettiest, but effective enough. Hey, she's green. Green or not though, Jade's got a lot of passion and pulls Mackenzie up to dish out some more punishment. A crisp forearm puts Mackie back on her ass and Jade shoves her down, ready to make the cover. Only trouble is, she's not the legal person for her team. Mind you, neither is Ned Blanchard, but that doesn't stop him from rolling into the ring and grabbing two handfuls of Jade's hair. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" COLE Oh no! There's no need for this Ned, put her down! COACH Hey, it's all legal. COLE Legal sure, but it doesn't make it moral! Jade looks horrified and justifiably so, fearing a beating from Ned. It's not so much as on Neddy's mind though as he drags Jade up. No anger. No determination. In fact, the Handsome Hustler is smiling, going so far as to lick his lips as he brings Jade around face to face with him. At which point, looking to get out of Ned's greasy clutches, Jade tucks her head and drops Ned with a Jawbreaker! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Complaining to Silverman that he's bit his tongue, Ned begs for a timeout from his potential slave. No dice is answer from Jade though, cupping Ned around the back of the head and NAILING him with a forearm strike! COLE I'm sure Ned's been hit by plenty of women in this time but I doubt he's ever been that hard by the female of the species! Jade is feeling that fire so usually absent from her brother's mindset and slams a second forearm across Blanchard's jaw! And with the crowd right behind her, Jade lands forearm number three. Unfortunately for her though, this one returns the smile back to Ned's face, that lurid, lock me up I'm a pervert smile. BLANCHARD Come on baby, you're just giving me a hard on! JADE :O "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" COACH HA! AHAHA! YES, YES! COLE That's the most disgusting thing I've ever heard! For a moment, Jade is understandably taken aback. But as Ned gives the licks another big ol' lick, J-Ro decides to check the validity of Ned's statement... ...WITH THE BALL CLAW~!~!~! BLANCHARD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! COACH NOOOOOOOO!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Ned writhes around in the dreaded ball claw, actually jumping around in pain which probably isn't doing much good as Jade continues to squeeze his testicles in the hope of rendering them usless, for the good of the entire female human race. The yelps for mercy are ignored by Jade, who is probably enjoying herself a little too much. Looking to put an end to all this is Simon Singleton as he slides into the ring and charges at Jade, looking to wipe the 18 year old out with a double axehandle. But Jade simply pulls Ned in (by the balls, yo) the way and causes the Beverly Hills Blonds to inadvertantly clock heads! Shayne Brave slides back in and takes Singleton out of the ring with a Cactus clothesline, again leaving Jade alone with Ned in the ring. CABOOSE I doubt this is what Ned had in mind when he thought this slavery stipulation up. It might have been, he's a sick puppy, but I do doubt it. Nursing his unmentionables, Ned pulls himself to his feet and has had ENOUGH~!, charging Jade with a clothesline. Jade ducks the arm however, catching Ned on the way back around with a boot to the gut before planting him with a shock DDT! "YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Rather than go for the cover, for some reason Jade rolls Ned back over onto his front. Grabbing the legs, Jade then folds one over the other like an upside down figure four. Lacing a hand in between, Jade then elevates and locks on the Condo Clutch (Inverted Texas Cloverleaf) to the delight of the fans!! COLE Jade Rodez using every bit of her wrestling experience and she's got Ned tied up! COACH Where the hell did she learn that!?! COLE And let's be clear, if Ned taps out to Jade then D*LUX win the titles! Wouldn't that just be the perfect ending? Indeed it would. But Blanchard, despite obvious pain, hasn't given up yet and has enough of a weight advantage to begin to crawl towards the ropes. Jade doesn't have the height to really elevate Ned to a position to make up for the power differential and thus, Ned can make the ropes... ...or, would, if not for a Top Rope Legdrop from "Tremendous" Tyler to the back of the head! Jade quickly dumps the submission attempt and instead rolls Ned over with a pin, Tyler gleefully leading the crowd with the count... 1... 2... 3- NO! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Damnit, so close! Ned almost got beat by a girl! Tyler now helps Jade to pick Ned back up, the unlikely duo looking for an unlikely double team. However Ned is able to fend Tyler off with a headbutt to the gut and manages to pieface Jade down, out of the way. Ned then runs through Tyler with a clothesline that sends The Tremendous One out of the ring and to the floor, deflating the crowd. And putting Jade in a whole lot of trouble. COLE Uh-oh...I think Ned's had enough of the games. CABOOSE No kidding, she needs to run and run long because Blanchard isn't going to mess about this time. Now it's Jade's turn to beg off but Ned is having none of it, keeping his nether regions out of reach as he grabs the hair and drags her up to his feet. "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" "LET'S GO JADE!" Surprisingly, Ned doesn't resort to hitting a woman. Instead, he looks her into a front facelock and prepares to hit the Slingshot Suplex, only slightly less immoral. Jade tries to get free but Ned's a strong guy and he's able to hold her at bay, grabbing Jade's special b-ball shorts and lifting her up, looking to guide her onto the ropes... ...SMALL PACKAGE... 1... COLE JADE'S GOT NED! 2... COLE JADE'S GOT NED! THR- NED REVERSES THE PIN! 1... 2... Tyler is held by the leg by Mackenzie DeCenzo, unable to reach to where Ned has Jade packaged up. And Jade simply isn't strong enough to escape... 3!!!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE NO! COACH YES! COLE NOOOOOOOO! COACH YES! NED'S GOT JADE, NED'S GOT JADE...NED'S GOT JADE, FOR A WHOLE MONTH BABY!! Both Ned and Jade come out of the pin and to their knees, both in shock and disbelief. Jade in disbelief that she just blew her team's shot at the HI-YAH Titles and at the month ahead. Ned in disbelief that his wildest dreams are now going to come true. COLE I don't believe this. COACH Believe it! Believe it Mikey, believe it! Mama Rodez, cancel the allowance and clear out the bedroom because little Jade's gonna become a woman this month, haha! COLE You are sick! You're as sick as Blanchard is damnit! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winners of the match... the team of MACKENZIE DECENZO and STILL the HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions, THE BEVERLY HILLS BLONDS! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" BUFFER And as a result of the pre-match stipulation, Jade Rodez will now be the legally binding slave of Ned Blanchard for 30 Days. The sombre tone of Buffer's announcement tells the story as the crowd remain quiet, the enormity of the situation dawning on them as Jade sinks to the mat with her head in her hands. Both Tyler and Shayne look dejected on the floor as Simon and Mackenzie roll in to congratulation Ned. But Ned isn't concerned with that, brushing his partners away. D*LUX come in and look to console their distraught manageress, but Ned storms up to his feet and pushes them out of the way, delighting in shouting that "She's my property now, boys!" Reaching down, Blanchard then grabs Jade by the wrist and brings her to her feet, ignoring the tears welling up in the youngest Rodez sibling's eyes as he pushes her chin up...AND PLANTS A SMACKER, RIGHT ON THE LIPS!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Tyler and Shayne try to step in but they're held back by Silverman and before they know it, Ned has whisked Jade out of the ring and is dragging her up the ramp. The poor young lady is in floods of tears with Singleton laughing away and carrying the belts, Mackenzie putting the badmouth on her while Ned looks at her with pure depravity in his eyes. And all Tyler and Shayne can do is watch on, powerless. COLE This is wrong. Jade Rodez tried to take up the responsibility and take Ned on, but she put herself in position to get pinned. It was a naive move and it's cost both herself and D*LUX big. CABOOSE Ironic, huh? Her brother's mister cool, calm and collected and yet Jade lets her emotions get the better of her like that. COLE This is going to be a long month. We're not going to hear the end of this for a long time I'm afraid.

Okay, Spirit Squad or Umaga. *AIRHORN* vs. UMAGAAAAAAAA~! The two new TSM favourites, following in the fine footsteps of SNITSKY~! and PIMPTISTA~! and all those insanely annoying terms we had to put up with. Every week we seem to get a debate about either one or the other and their relative merits. So, make your choice, one or the other. It's Spirit Squad hands down for me. Umaga's 15 years out of date and I have no idea what anyone sees in Estrada. The Spirit Squad are talented and god bless em, they're making the most of a weak gimmick by playing it with the volume WAY up. Also, I've got 3 posts in the 'how long before someone says "X-Pac heat"?' pool.

Technically, they became the new champions, which is as good as winning it. Or, at least it is when I've got fantasy points riding on it.

Something different. Yago and Miyawaki vs. KUDO and Mikami from CHIKARA Tag World Grand Prix 2006, Night 1. If you need a spotfest, the 9 Man TLC Gauntlet from IWA:MS We're No Joke.

Here's a promo to go some time after this. Patty rule and stuff, Tony. SCHIAVONE It's a jubilant scene back here guys, here in the locker room of the new HI-YA... SINGLETON YYEEEEAAAAHHHHHHH!! Diving into camera shot, Simon Singleton drenches the hapless Schiavone with a bottle of champagne before turning it upside down and takign a swig himself. A swig and a drowning of his own. But he wipes the champagne from his eyes without concern, too happy to worry about possibly blinding himself. In the background, Ned Blanchard and Mackenzie DeCenzo are being swamped by dozens of Japanese reporters, photographers and paparazzi, flashbulbs going off in all directions around the mugging duo. Recomposing himself, Schiavone tries to mop himself down, but his cheap suit soaks the champagne up like an equally cheap sponge. SCHIAVONE ...the new HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions, The Beverly Hills Blonds and as you can see it's chaos back here. We've got press, photographers...obviously, this is a huge story in the Far East as well as in the U.S. Hopefully I can get some words with the new Champs. Picking his way through the Japanese press, Schiavone finally gets to the celebrating Champions. Still chugging away from his champagne bottle, Simon Singleton wraps an arm around Schiavone, who still seems a little thrown by the scene. Mackenzie and Ned seem a little more reserved, although both grin from ear to ear. SCHIAVONE Mackenzie, can we get some comments? Smirking, Mackenzie takes Ned's HI-YAH Tag belt and holds it at head height. MACKENZIE What more of a comment do you need exactly? These belts say it all. This transcends the language barriers. All of these Japanese reporters know the story, without understanding a word I'm saying right now. I promised the world that I would gain success with my new tag team and I told you all I was done carrying joke teams around on my back and through my purse. Tonight, The Beverly Hills Blonds made history. Not only did we end D*LUX's unbeaten streak, but we're also the first team to have won both the OAOAST and HI-YAH Tag Team Titles, the equivalent of an actor winning a Golden Globe and Oscar in the same award season. That speaks for itself and it placates everything I said when I associated myself with Simon and Ned. Tonight, Mackenzie DeCenzo is on top of the world, just like I promised to be. Simon and Ned did everything I could have asked of them. And in the process, I showed all of you the difference between a true wrestling manageress and a wanabee bimbo who's all breast and no brains. The difference is class. I have it, Rodez doesn't. You'll find that out again Sunday Tony. There's your comments. SCHIAVONE Well, no doubt you're feeling pleased with yourself tonight, but I get the feeling from the way things went down tonight that D*LUX will be in line for a rematch down the line. MACKENZIE That's for me to decide, Tony. It's one of my duties as manager of the Champions. I get to pick and choose worthy challengers, assuming there are any in this company or even in HI-YAH. I decide if and when Ned and Simon go to Japan. And I decide if D*LUX get another title sho... Stopping Mackenzie in mid-speech, Ned cups a hand and whispers something into his manager's ear. Mackenzie seems a little confused by what Ned's saying, but Ned calms Mackenzie down and assures her he's serious. BLANCHARD You know, I hate to cut in like this on you Mackie, but as much as you're a complete manager and a business brain, I'm a bit of an ideas man. And I've had an idea. You see, it's already set in stone that on Sunday night at School's Out, Mackie and the Blonds are gonna find themselves back in the ring with D*LUX and Cooki...I mean, Jade. That's fine and dandy. But why don't we up the stakes a little, just for kicks? SCHIAVONE What do you mean 'up the stakes'? SINGLETON Tell him Ned. Tell him! Ned glances at Simon and shakes his head. BLANCHARD You need to go steady with that stuff, it's expensive. (turns to Tony) What I mean by 'up the stakes,' Fat Tony is this. I have no doubt that New Kids On The Block want a rematch against your new HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions somewhere down the line and never let it be said that The Beverly Hills Blonds aren't fighting champions. We're former OAOAST World Tag Team Champions, we've been here before let's not forget. New name, same talent. Little more muscularity. I've been from the gyms to the tanning salons and back night and day during our little 'vacation', as I'm sure you all can tell. We've beaten the best going. So, we're not afraid to put the belts on the line. SINGLETON We're not. Honest. :D BLANCHARD So, I'll tell you what D*LUX...the Handsome Hustler is prepared to cut you two kids a deal. Call me Mr. Sensitivity but I almost feel sorry for you to have lost your precious belts and your precious losing streak in one night. So, here's my show of goodwill. This Sunday, the belts are on the line. Yo... Now it's Mackenzie's turn to cut off Ned, looking a little sceptical about this idea, but Ned again calms Mackenzie down. BLANCHARD You win and you get the belts. Whoever you pin, whoever pins them, it doesn't matter. And I can't say fairer than that. But the Blonds aren't a charity, kids. So in return, you have to put something on the line to show for yourselves. Something that'd interest us. A sick grin slowly begins to appear on Ned's face. BLANCHARD And I know just the thing. If you win, you get the belts. But assuming that myself, Simon and Mackenzie mop the floor with the three of you sorry kids one more time like we did tonight, then you're going to have to make a sacrifice. Jade, I know that moment we shared earlier this year has lingered on your mind almost as long as those lips of yours lingered on those of your Neddy bear. Who could blame you for being curious? Flattered even? Well Jade, for you it's win win, honey. Because if you want us to put the belts on the line, you're gonna have to put yourself on the line! You heard me right. Let's see how much you believe in your team, Jade. If you and your boys fail to get the job done against us, then...you have to become my personal slave...for one, ENTIRE month! SCHIAVONE Ugh! Mackenzie and Simon don't know whether to laugh or be creeped out by this challenge, but settle for the first. BLANCHARD That means every wish, every need accomodated for. If you lose, you can look on the bright side. You'll get the chance to be where every woman alive truly wants to be...and that's barefoot in my kitchen, making me a sandwich! SINGLETON You'll be the envy of the entire female population...and quite a few guys too. BLANCHARD And Jade, trust me, it'll be an experience you'd never forget. Infact, I wouldn't blame you if you laid down in front of me on Sunday night and let me pin you. Come to think of it...I'd be pretty excited by that. MACKENZIE Oh, but let's remember, as your manager I control your contracts...so by rights, technically, as your slave she'd have to cater to my every whim as well. BLANCHARD Without doubt. MACKENZIE Heh...and trust me Jade, you won't be in your comfort zone of lying flat on your back moaning when you're running errands for me. You know Ned, I think you're right about that 'ideas man' tagline. This idea's really beginning to grow on me. I've got a whole bunch of nettles in my garden, stubborn things they are. And my housekeeper seems to think the drains have gotten blocked. Maybe we can get Jade to suck the drains clean, I hear she's experienced with that sort of thing. ALL :D SCHIAVONE Oh, come on! It's a good job these reporters can't understand you three because that's repulsive! The Japanese public won't stand for talk like that. SINGLETON Whaddya think Geisha girls are for, Schiavone? We've said it before, but tonight everybody learned: It's great to be a blond! SCHIAVONE Give me a break...guys, I'm gonna send it back to you at ringside. Sickening stuff here. Sickening. *SWOOP TO SOFA CENTRAL* CABOOSE Is it wrong of me to love Ned Blanchard? COLE It certainly is! The nerve of Ned, to offer to put the belts on the line Sunday in return for the possibility of Jade Rodez becoming his slave...his SLAVE...for a month! This isn't the dark ages, this is the 21st Century! Just think about the things Ned and Mackenzie would have poor Jade doing, assuming they win at School's Out. COACH Oh, I'm imagining it! I'm imagining! COLE That's disgusting Coach. CABOOSE I don't know. Bare feet, kitchen, making sandwiches. Sounds good to me. COLE Well, I for one hope D*LUX gain their measure of revenge this Sunday, if only to give you two the proverbial cold shower.

Julius Smokes is in no way amusing. He's automatic fast foward material Finally, someone who agrees with me. I've skipped Homicide matches simply because Smokes was at ringside with him, so I assume that counts as fast forward material. Also, I take it we stopped using the term "Bossman heat" when he passed?

Bah! They're not giving Edge and Foley points for the Hardcore Title situation, which robs me of a full 40 points.

Seeing as nobody else wants to be, book me on Storms. And whenever else you wish.

Team OAOAST! Awesome! EDIT: And my weekly stats edit is done.

Well, that's my team sorted. Bobby Lashley Edge Finlay Jake Gymini JBL Jesse Gymini Johnny Kenny Matt Striker Mick Foley Sharmell

The Aries/Cabana Cage Match at 3YA Night 1 is one of my favourite Cage Matches ever. Joe vs. Ebessan Jack from Night 1, botched powerslam aside, is great comedy. Cabana/Nigel on Night 2 is quite short but an excellent European style match and the Joe/Danielson vs. Aries/Evans tag match is all sorts of fun too.

I'm all about The Spirit Squad, don't get me wrong, but how many times can they do the token 'HBK vs. Spirit Squad' 5 on 1? The only hope is that it is Raw Roulette and they tag a stip on the end.

The rematch with Hogan wasn't clean. Hogan threw ashes in Undertaker's eyes to set-up the win, which lead to the title being held up and being on the line in the '92 Rumble.

"Well, that's a relief, huh?" With a nervous laugh, Megan Skye is clearly a relieved woman. Getting back with Landon was always going to be a minefield with the size and ferocity of his mouth and it's contents, but more than anything the possibility of Toxxic's return was a dark cloud hanging over the duo. Now, seemingly, that cloud has been lifted. So why Landon is sat on his hotel bed, emotionless, speechless, when he's supposed to be enjoying his week's holiday in his home country of España! isn't quite clear to Megan. Surely he should be happy. Surely he would have spoken on the flight, on the cab journey over. Anything more than a few mumbles and acknowledging grunts. "I mean, for a moment there, I thought we were in real trouble." Megan smiles, trying to gain a response. "At least we can move on now...right?" Still, nothing comes from Landon's stooped head. "I'm sorry baby but, I...I don't get the problem here. I thought we were past all this. When you won the title at Battleground, you promised me you were through with Toxxic. When you destroyed Amy on Lockdown, you promised me you were through with Toxxic. When you paid Myers to dress up as Toxxic and destroyed him, you promised me you were through with Toxxic. So, what's the problem? You're the World Heavyweight Champion Landon. You don't need to deal with Toxxic anymore. He doesn't want to wrestle you. You're supposedly through with him. Everyone's happy!" "He saw it." Realising she's been completely ignored, Megan just sighs. "See it? What, see what?" "He saw everything I did. He saw the rundowns, he saw the insults. He saw me hit Ordonez with the Demonstar. I thought he'd gone underground for good and it was all for nought, but it wasn't. He saw everything I did...and he came back. Just like I said he would." Smiling, Landon stares off creepily into the distance. "I got to him." "How do you figure?" Megan argues, for arguement's sake. "He wouldn't have come back otherwise. Deep down, I got to him, he just doesn't wanna admit it. Yet." "Landon, we don't need this." implores Megan. "You've got the title to worry about. Hawke wants a shot, Wildchild's probably going to want a shot, Va'aiga's back, Flesher's back, Charlie Matthews is back. Not to mention Amy being out for your blood when she comes back, Davis watching her back. Why complicate things with Stephens, after all the work you've done to get over it?" Landon looks up at Megan for the first time in some time, looking at her with destain. "And you think I've 'gotten over it', do you? Or just put it to the back of my mind again, maybe? I'm never going to 'get over it'. Not until I get Toxxic back, not until I PAY him back. An eye for an eye. A neck for a ne..." "Landon, SNAP OUT OF IT!!" Taken aback by Megan's forceful demand, Landon "I wasn't around these past few months to talk you out of all this stupid revenge on Toxxic crap, so now I am I'd appreciate it if you listened to me! You are not Janus. You are not Andrew Blackwell. You are not Bloodshed. Quit with the evil vengeful sadist talk because it really doesn't suit you and it's getting us nowhere! I didn't get you that World Heavyweight Title shot to see you throw it all away over some petulant years long feud. And I sure as heck didn't wrangle you yet another show off so we could spend a week in Spain talking about Michael Stephens." "Toxxic." corrects Landon. "Whatever. The SWF officials aren't happy about all this time you're taking off you know. You're the World Champion. They expect you to jetlag your way around the world like everyone else. You need to sort your head out before we get back, otherwise you might not have that World Title for much longer...and don't say you don't care about it, because I know that's not true. Now shut up, forget about Stephens and grab a towel because we're going down to the sauna. And when we get back, if I even suspect that you're thinking about Stephens while we're doing it then I'm out of here, I swear." Landon, at the prospect of some 'extra curricular activities' with his manager, lightens up a little now. He finally looks up and finally, a smile appears on his face. "That goes for you too you know."

Six Person Tag Team Match D*LUX and Jade Rodez vs. The Beverly Hills Blonds and Mackenzie DeCenzo Can anyone with stats for Gunner Sharps shoot me a PM, ASAP, please.

SMARTMARKS WRESTLING FEDERATION CHAMPIONSHIP HISTORY - May 20th, 2006 **** SWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP **** 1. RANE -- 9/18/00 -- NTD -- 1 Day (1) 2. NTD -- 9/19/00 -- N/A -- 4 Days (2) 3. G.O.A.T. -- 9/23/00 -- NTD -- 14 Days 4. RANE (2)-- 10/07/00 -- G.O.A.T. -- 58 Days 5. SPIKE -- 12/04/00 -- Rane -- 54 Days 6. RANE (3)-- 1/27/01 -- Spike -- 63 Days 7. PDS -- 4/01/01 -- Rane -- 12 Days 8. DIVEFIRE -- 4/13/01 -- PDS -- 21 Days (3) 9. STUBBY "POTS" MCWEED -- 5/27/01 -- Bobby Riley -- 44 Days (4)(5) 10. "GRAND SLAM" MARK STEVENS -- 7/22/01 -- N/A -- 28 Days (6) 11. CHRIS WILSON -- 8/19/01 -- "Grand Slam" Mark Stevens -- 28 Days 12. EL LUCHADORE MAGNIFICO -- 9/16/01 -- Chris Wilson -- 47 Days (7) 13. HVILLE THUGG -- 11/02/01 -- El Luchadore Magnifico -- 79 Days (8) 14. SUICIDE KING -- 1/20/02 -- Hville Thugg -- 28 Days 15. "GRAND SLAM" MARK STEVENS (2) -- 2/17/02 -- Suicide King -- 9 Days 16. HVILLE THUGG (2) -- 2/26/02 -- "Grand Slam" Mark Stevens -- 89 Days 17. EDWIN MACPHISTO -- 5/26/02 -- Hville Thugg -- 103 Days (9) 18. EL LUCHADORE MAGNIFICO (2) -- 9/6/02 -- Edwin MacPhisto -- 35 Days 19. SACRED -- 10/11/02 -- El Luchadore Magnifico -- 16 Days 20. EL LUCHADORE MAGNIFICO (3) -- 10/27/02 -- Sacred -- 140 Days 21. TNT -- 3/16/03 -- El Luchadore Magnifico -- 19 Days 22. TOM FLESHER -- 4/4/03 -- TNT -- 89 Days 23. THOTH -- 7/2/03 -- Tom Flesher -- 14 Days 24. BOSTON STRANGLER -- 7/16/03 -- Thoth -- 58 Days 25. TOM FLESHER (2) -- 9/12/03 -- Boston Strangler -- 95 Days 26. EJIRO FASAKI -- 12/16/03 -- Tom Flesher -- 22 Days 27. DANNY WILLIAMS -- 1/7/04 -- Ejiro Fasaki -- 15 Days 28. VA’AIGA -- 2/1/04 -- Danny Williams -- 35 Days 29. CHARLIE "GRAPPLER" MATTHEWS -- 3/7/04 -- Va’aiga -- 49 Days 30. “THE NOTORIOUS” JOHN DURAN -- 4/25/04 -- Charlie “Grappler” Matthews -- 10 Days 31. DANNY WILLIAMS (2) -- 5/5/04 -- “The Notorious” John Duran -- 9 Days 32. NATHANIEL KIBAGAMI -- 5/14/04 -- Danny Williams -- 10 Days 33. DANNY WILLIAMS (3) -- 5/24/04 -- Nathaniel Kibagami -- 20 Days 34. JANUS -- 6/13/04 -- Danny Williams -- 49 Days 35. TOXXIC -- 8/1/04 -- Tom Flesher (10) -- 19 Days 36. JOHNNY DANGEROUS -- 8/20/04 -- Toxxic -- 30 Days 37. TOXXIC (2) -- 9/19/04 -- Johnny Dangerous -- 93 Days 38. LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MADDIX -- 12/21/04 -- Toxxic -- 24 Days 39. SACRED (2) -- 1/14/05 -- Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix -- 35 Days 40. TOXXIC (3) -- 2/18/05 -- Sacred -- 89 Days 41. EJIRO FASAKI (2) -- 5/18/05 -- Toxxic -- 74 Days 42. JOHNNY DANGEROUS (2) -- 7/31/05 -- Ejiro Fasaki -- 28 Days 43. DANNY WILLIAMS (4) -- 8/29/05 -- Johnny Dangerous -- 21 Days 44. EL LUCHADORE MAGNIFICO (4) -- 9/20/05 -- Danny Williams -- 175 Days 45. WES DAVENPORT -- 3/14/06 -- El Luchadore Magnifico -- 30 Days (11) 46. LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MADDIX (2) -- 4/24/06 -- JJ Johnson (12) -- 27 Days and counting (1) Rane defeated NTD to become the first IGNWF Champ (2) Rane handed the title over to NTD (3) Divefire vacated the title upon becoming commissioner (4) Stubby won an eight man tournament, defeating Bobby Riley in the finals. (5) Stubby vacated the title due to a neck injury (6) This was Regenerate Rules match involving Mark Stevens, Bobby Riley, Mercury, Chris Wilson and Perfect Bo for the vacant title. (7) This was a six pack challenge involving King of Hearts, Neilsen of the Jungle, Axis, Chris Wilson, El Luchadore Magnifico and Stubby "Pots" McWeed. (8) Hville Thugg's ICTV Title was also on the line in this match. (9) This was a triple threat match also involving Perfect Bo. (10) Toxxic beat Tom Flesher and Janus in a triple threat match for the SWF World Heavyweight Title. (11) Wes Davenport vacated the championship on April 13th to pursue his revived movie career. (12) This was a Canadian Death Match for the vacant Championship. Longest Title Reign - El Luchadore Magnifico, 175 Days Most Title Reigns - Danny Williams and El Luchadore Magnifico, 4 Most Days with Title - El Luchadore Magnifico, 394 Days ****SWF INTERNATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP**** 1. JOHNNY DANGEROUS -- 3/30/05 -- Jay Hawke -- 25 Days (1) 2. LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MADDIX -- 4/24/05 -- Johnny Dangerous -- 5 Days 3. "THE DEAN OF PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING" JAY HAWKE -- 4/29/05 -- Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix -- 29 Days 4. ARCH GRIFFON -- 5/28/05 -- Jay Hawke -- 15 Days 5. "THE DEAN OF PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING" JAY HAWKE (2) -- 6/12/05 -- 274 Days 6. WILDCHILD -- 3/14/06 -- Jay Hawke -- 50 Days 7. JJ JOHNSON -- 5/3/06 -- Wildchild -- 17 Days and counting (1) ICTV Champion Johnny Dangerous defeated USJL Champion Jay Hawke to unify the two championships on March 30th. Longest Title Reign - Jay Hawke, 274 Days Most Title Reigns - Jay Hawke, 2 Most Days with Title - Jay Hawke, 303 Days **** SWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP **** 1. NTD & RANE -- 9/18/00 -- N/A -- 7 Days (1) 2. PIMP DADDY SARP & RANE (2) -- 9/25/00 -- Curry Man -- 12 Days (2) (3) 3. DANNY VIGILANTE & DIVEFIRE -- 10/29/00 -- Malignant Odium -- 49 Days (4) 4. ANGELOUS & MOLOCK -- 12/17/00 -- DVD -- 105 Days 5. CHRIS RAYNOR & CHRIS STORM -- 4/01/01 -- The Fallen -- 19 Days 6. CYCLONE COMET & RANE (3) -- 4/20/01 -- Y2Chris -- 42 Days 7. AXIS & CYCLONE COMET (2)-- 6/01/01 -- N/A -- 23 Days (5) 8. ANGELOUS (2) & MOLOCK (2) -- 6/24/01 -- Cyclone Comet and Axis -- 20 Days (6) 9. CHRIS WILSON & HVILLE THUGG -- 7/14/01 -- The Fallen -- 3 Days (7) 10. NEILSEN OF THE JUNGLE & PERFECT BO -- 7/22/01 -- HVille Thugg and Mistress Sarah -- 28 Days (8) 11. CHRIS RAYNOR (2) & SPARK -- 8/19/01 -- Neilsen of the Jungle and Perfect Bo -- 28 Days 12. "GRAND SLAM" MARK STEVENS & OUTCAST -- 9/16/01 -- Chris Raynor and Spark -- 35 Days 13. ANDREA MONTGOMERY & JOHNNY ROTTEN -- 10/21/01-- "Grand Slam" Mark Stevens and Outcast -- 23 Days 14. "GRAND SLAM" MARK STEVENS (2) & MISTRESS SARAH -- 11/12/01 -- Andrea Montgomery & Johnny Rotten -- 14 Days 15. HVILLE THUGG (2) & X -- 11/26/01 -- "Grand Slam" Mark Stevens & Mistress Sarah -- 27 Days 16. EDWIN MACPHISTO & "GRAND SLAM" MARK STEVENS (3) -- 12/23/01 -- Hville Thugg & X -- 47 Days 17. SPIDER NEKURA & THOTH -- 2/8/02 -- Edwin MacPhisto & "Grand Slam" Mark Stevens -- 79 Days 18. CHRIS RAYNOR (3) & EL LUCHADORE MAGNIFICO -- 4/28/02 -- Spider Nekura & Thoth -- 12 Days (9) 19. JAY DAWG & SACRED -- 5/10/02 -- Chris Raynor & El Luchadore Magnifico -- 28 Days 20. CHRIS WILSON (2) & STRYKE -- 6/7/02 -- Jay Dawg & Sacred -- 31 Days 21. CHRIS RAYNOR (4) & EDWIN MACPHISTO (2) -- 7/8/02 -- Chris Wilson & Stryke -- 35 Days 22. FROST & "TNT" TAYLOR NICHOLAS THOMPSON -- 8/12/02 -- Chris Raynor & Edwin MacPhisto -- 60 Days 23. CED ORDONEZ & THOTH (2) -- 10/11/02 -- Frost & "TNT" Taylor Nicholas Thompson -- 35 Days 24. FROST (2) & TOM FLESHER -- 11/22/02 -- Ced Ordonez & Mak Francis -- 114 Days (10) 25. EJIRO FASAKI & JUDGE MENTAL -- 3/16/03 -- Frost & Tom Flesher -- 117 Days 26. DACE NIGHT & VA'AIGA -- 7/11/03 -- Ejiro Fasaki & William Hearford -- 31 Days 27. QUIZ & SHOW -- 8/10/03 -- Dace Night & Va'aiga (11) -- 69 Days 28. EJIRO FASAKI (2) & JUDGE MENTAL (2) -- 10/18/03 -- Quiz & John Duran (12) -- 90 Days 29. JOHNNY DANGEROUS & WILDCHILD -- 1/16/04 -- Ejiro Fasaki & Judge Mental (13) -- 75 Days 30. TERRENCE 'JANUS' BAILEY & AECAS -- 3/31/04 -- Johnny Dangerous & Wildchild -- 14 Days 31. TODD CORTEZ & MIKE VAN SICLEN -- 4/14/04 -- Terrence 'Janus' Bailey & Aecas (14) -- 5 Days 32. JOHNNY DANGEROUS (2) & WILDCHILD (2) -- 4/19/04 -- Todd Cortez & Mike Van Siclen -- 6 Days 33. TERRENCE 'JANUS' BAILEY (2) & AECAS (2) -- 4/25/04 -- Todd Cortez & Mike Van Siclen (15) -- 19 Days 34. TODD CORTEZ (2) & MIKE VAN SICLEN (2) -- 5/14/04 -- Terrence 'Janus' Bailey & Aecas -- 128 Days 35. "HOLLYWOOD" SPIKE JENKINS & SEAN DAVIS -- 9/19/04 -- Todd Cortez & Mike Van Siclen -- 19 Days 36. CHRISTIAN FURY & DAVID CROSS -- 10/8/04 --"Hollywood" Spike Jenkins and Sean Davis -- 59 Days 37. TOXXIC & SEAN DAVIS (2) -- 12/6/04 -- Christian Fury and David Cross -- 31 Days 38. JOHNNY DANGEROUS (3) & WILDCHILD (3) -- 1/5/05 -- Toxxic and Sean Davis -- 134 Days 39. TODD CORTEZ (3) & LANDON MADDIX -- 5/18/05 -- Johnny Dangerous & Wildchild -- 40 Days (16) 40. JOHNNY DANGEROUS (4) & WILDCHILD (4) -- 6/27/05 -- Todd Cortez & Landon Maddix -- 97 Days 41. LANDON MADDIX (2) & JAY HAWKE -- 10/3/05 -- Johnny Dangerous & Wildchild -- 35 Days 42. KOJI KITANO & TORU TAKAHARA -- 11/7/05 -- Landon Maddix & Jay Hawke -- 77 Days 43. LANDON MADDIX (3) & "THE ICON" MAX KING -- 23/1/05 -- KOJI Kitano & TORU Takahara -- 50 Days 44. AKIRA KAIBATSU & MICHAEL CROSS -- 3/14/06 -- Landon Maddix & Max King -- 15 Days (17) 45. JJ JOHNSON & MANSON -- 3/29/06 -- Akira Kaibatsu & Michael Cross -- 44 Days 46. JJ JOHNSON & SPIKE JENKINS -- 5/12/06 -- n/a (18) -- 8 Days and counting (1) Claimed belts due to no competition (2) PDS won NTD's half on the belts, by defeating Curry Man (3) Rane/PDS handed over the titles at Genesis, as Jayson ruled no one could hold more than one belt. (4) Triple threat match, also involving FX for the vacant tag titles. (5) Rane retired, handing over his tag team belt to Axis (6) Triple Threat Casino Brawl, also involving Silencer/El Luchadore Magnifico (7) Mercury stripped Wilson and Thugg of the titles on July 17th, stating that Wilson couldn't hold more than one title. (8) This was for the vacant tag titles (9) This was a triple threat tag match also involving Erek Taylor & Munich. (10) Ced and Thoth were stripped of the titles on 11/15/02. This was a match for the vacant titles. (11) This was a triple threat tag match also involving CIA & Mak Francis. (12) John Duran was awarded half of the tag title belts on 10/03/03 following an injury to Show. (13) This was a four corners match also involving Janus & Dace Night and Va’aiga & John Duran. (14) This was a triple threat tag match also involving Tom Flesher & Ann Onita. (15) Terrence "Janus" Bailey & Aecas won the tag team titles in a four corners tag match triple fall match in which the third fall was for the tag team titles. The four teams involved were Toxxic & Jimmy "The Demon" Liston, Wildchild & Johnny Dangerous, Todd Cortez & Mike Van Siclen, and Terrence "Janus" Bailey & Aecas. (16) This was a three team TLC Match, also involving Manson & Arch Griffon. (17) This was a three team TLC Match, also involving Spike Jenkins & Zyon (18) Spike Jenkins defeated Manson to take over his spot as co-Tag Team Champion Longest Title Reign - Johnny Dangerous & Wildchild, 134 Days Most Title Reigns, team - Johnny Dangerous & Wildchild, 4 Most Title Reigns, individual - Chris Raynor, Johnny Dangerous and Wildchild, 4 Most Days with Title, team - Johnny Dangerous & Wildchild, 312 Days Most Days with Title, individual - Johnny Dangerous & Wildchild, 312 Days **** SWF HARDCORE GAMERS CHAMPIONSHIP **** 1. G.O.A.T. -- 09/20/00 -- N/A -- 3 Days (1) (2) 2. SPIKE -- 10/29/00 -- Mayor McCheese -- 17 Days (3) 3. NEILSEN OF THE JUNGLE -- 11/15/00 -- Spike -- 54 Days 4. GRIMEDOGG -- 01/08/01 -- Phoenix -- 60 Days (4) 5. PERFECT BO -- 03/09/01 -- Grimedogg -- 51 Days 6. SACRED -- 04/29/01 -- Perfect Bo -- 15 Days 7. GRUNGE -- 05/14/01 -- Sacred -- 4 Days (5) 8. CHRIS WILSON -- 05/18/01 -- Grunge -- 60 Days 9. SPARK -- 07/17/01 -- Chris Wilson -- 5 Days (6) 10. GRUNGE (2) -- 07/22/01 -- Spark -- 15 Days 11. FALLOUT -- 08/06/01 -- Grunge -- 13 Days 12. JOHNNY ROTTEN -- 08/19/01 -- Fallout -- 28 Days 13. GRIMEDOGG (2) -- 09/16/01 -- Johnny Rotten -- 12 Days 14. FALLOUT (2) -- 09/28/01 -- Grimedogg -- 23 Days (7) 15. MISTRESS SARAH -- 10/21/01 -- Fallout -- 27 Days (8) 16. X -- 11/16/01 -- Mistress Sarah -- 14 Days 17. MISTRESS SARAH (2) -- 11/30/01 -- X -- 14 Days 18. FALLOUT (3) -- 12/14/01 -- Mistress Sarah -- 31 Days 19. MUNICH -- 1/14/02 -- Fallout -- 6 Days 20. BOSTON STRANGLER -- 1/20/02 -- Munich -- 61 Days 21. MISTRESS SARAH (3) -- 3/22/02 -- Boston Strangler -- 9 Days 22. LONGDOGGER PETE -- 3/31/02 -- Mistress Sarah -- 28 Days 23. STRYKE -- 4/28/02 -- Longdogger Pete -- 28 Days 24. ASH KETCHUM -- 5/26/02 -- Stryke -- 9 Days 25. STRYKE (2) -- 6/4/02 -- Ash Ketchum -- 26 Days 26. ASH KETCHUM (2) -- 6/30/02 -- Stryke -- 8 Days 27. JAY DAWG -- 7/8/02 -- Ash Ketchum -- 83 Days 28. CED ORDONEZ -- 9/29/02 -- Mercury -- 8 Days (9) 29. FROST -- 10/7/02 -- Ced Ordonez -- 20 Days 30. ASH KETCHUM (3) -- 10/27/02 -- Frost -- 19 Days 31. ANNIE ECLECTIC -- 11/15/02 -- Ash Ketchum -- 25 Days 32. MICHAEL CRAVEN (4) -- 12/10/02 -- Annie Eclectic -- 34 Days 33. JUDGE MENTAL -- 1/13/03 -- Michael Craven -- 77 Days 34. MIKE VAN SICLEN -- 3/31/03 -- Judge Mental -- 4 Days (10) 35. WILDCHILD -- 4/4/03 -- Mike Van Siclen -- 5 Days 36. JANUS -- 4/9/03 -- n/a -- 9 Days (11) 37. BEEZEL -- 4/18/03 -- Janus -- 18 Days 38. JANUS (2) -- 5/4/03 -- Beezel -- 10 Days 39. DACE NIGHT -- 5/14/03 -- Janus -- 39 Days (12) 40. CIA -- 6/22/03 -- Dace Night -- 15 Days 41. VA'AIGA -- 7/7/03 -- CIA -- 18 Days 42. WILDCHILD (2) -- 7/25/03 -- Va'aiga -- 138 Days 43. JANUS (3) -- 12/10/03 -- Wildchild -- 58 Days 44. JOHN DURAN -- 2/6/04 -- Janus -- 14 Days 45. AECAS -- 2/20/04 -- John Duran -- 16 Days 46. TOXXIC -- 3/7/04 -- Aecas -- 49 Days 47. JIMMY "THE DEMON" LISTON -- 4/25/04 -- Mike Van Siclen (13) -- 10 Days 48. MIKE VAN SICLEN (2) -- 5/5/04 -- Jimmy “The Demon” Liston -- 54 Days 49. RYAN DUSTIN -- 6/28/04 -- Mike Van Siclen -- 19 Days 50. MARTIN "BIG COUNTRY" HUNT -- 7/17/04 -- Ryan Dustin -- 15 Days 51. SEAN DAVIS -- 8/1/04 -- Martin "Big Country" Hunt -- 64 Days 52. CHRISTIAN FURY -- 10/4/04 -- Sean Davis -- 10 Days 53. SEAN DAVIS (2) --10/14/04 -- Christian Fury -- 4 Days 54. CARNAGE -- 10/18/04 -- Sean Davis -- 20 Days 55. CHRISTIAN FURY (2) -- 11/7/04 -- Carnage -- 24 Days 56. SEAN DAVIS (3) -- 12/1/04 -- Christian Fury -- 20 Days 57. TODD CORTEZ -- 12/21/04 -- Carnage -- 80 Days (14) 58. INSANE LUCHADOR -- 3/11/05 -- n/a (15) -- 28 Days 59. JJ JOHNSON -- 4/8/05 -- Insane Luchador -- 16 Days 60. INSANE LUCHADOR (2) -- 4/24/05 -- JJ Johnson -- 34 Days 61. MANSON -- 5/28/05 -- Insane Luchador -- 5 Days 62. INSANE LUCHADOR (3) -- 6/2/05 -- Manson -- 10 Days 63. ZYON -- 6/12/05 -- Insane Luchador -- 49 Days 64. MARCUS WARD -- 7/31/05 -- Zyon -- 32 Days (16) 65. BRUCE BLANK -- 9/2/05 -- Marcus Ward -- 213 Days 66. AMY STEPHENS -- 4/3/06 -- Bruce Blank -- 47 Days and counting (1) G.O.A.T. claimed the vacant belt. (2) G.O.A.T. dropped the title upon becoming World Champion (3) Match for the vacant title (4) This was a triple threat match also involving Neilsen of the Jungle (5) This was a Four way match, also involving Jay Dawg and Apostle (6) This was a Triple threat match also involving Grimedogg (7) This was a Triple threat elimination match also involving Chris Storm (8) This was a Triple threat match with Jamie Bjork and the Light Heavyweight Title on the line as well (9) Jay Dawg was stripped of the title at Genesis 3, and Mercury took his place, challenging Ced Ordonez for the vacant title. (10) This was a Triple threat match also involving Neilsen of the Jungle (11) Wildchild vacated the title on 4/9/03. This was a triple threat match for the vacant title, against Johnny Dangerous and Mike Van Siclen. (12) This was a Triple threat match also involving Jay Dawg (13) Jimmy "The Demon" Liston won the HCG title in a four corners tag match triple fall match in which the second fall was for the HCG title. The four teams involved were Toxxic & Jimmy "The Demon" Liston, Wildchild & Johnny Dangerous, Todd Cortez & Mike Van Siclen, and Terrence "Janus" Bailey & Aecas. (14) Todd Cortez won the HCG title in a 'Double The Titles, Double The Pleasure' match, pinning Carnage. Also involved were Sean Davis and Munich. (15) The Insane Luchador won the HCG Title in Calvinball 2, versus Todd Cortez, Toxxic, Alan Clark, Austin Sly and Scott Pretzler, despite not winning the match. (16) This was a Triple Threat, 'Lady Luck Is A Bitch' Match, also involving Nick "The Hitlist" Blum Longest Title Reign - Bruce Blank, 213 Days Most Title Reigns - Ash Ketchum/Michael Craven, 4 Most Days with Title - Bruce Blank, 213 Days **** SWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP **** 1. WILDCHILD -- 2/1/04 -- Tom Flesher (1) -- 35 Days 2. ALAN CLARK -- 3/1/04 -- Wildchild -- 44 Days 3. JOHNNY DANGEROUS -- 4/14/04 -- Alan Clark -- 70 Days 4. AUSTIN SLY -- 6/23/04 -- Johnny Dangerous -- 19 Days 5. "HOLLYWOOD" SPIKE JENKINS -- 7/12/04 -- Austin Sly -- 14 Days 6. TOM FLESHER -- 7/26/04 -- Spike Jenkins -- 49 Days (2) 7. "THE REAL DEAL" RYAN DUSTIN -- 9/19/04 -- n/a -- 29 Days (3) 8. "HOLLYWOOD" SPIKE JENKINS (2) -- 10/18/04 -- Ryan Dustin -- 120 Days 9. "THE CRITIC" SCOTT PRETZLER -- 2/14/05 -- Spike Jenkins -- 49 Days 10. WILDCHILD (2) -- 4/4/05 -- Scott Pretzler -- 38 Days 11. THE INSANE LUCHADOR -- 5/13/05 -- Wildchild -- 37 Days (4) 12. "THE CRITIC" SCOTT PRETZLER (2) -- 6/27/05 -- n/a -- 49 Days (5) 13. JJ JOHNSON -- 8/15/05 -- Scott Pretzler -- 141 Days 14. ZYON -- 1/4/06 -- JJ Johnson -- 49 Days 15. "THE DIVINE WIND" AKIRA KAIBATSU -- 2/22/06 -- Zyon -- 60 Days 16. GRENDEL -- 4/24/06 -- Akira Kaibatsu -- 25 Days (6) 17. ZYON (2) -- 5/18/06 -- Akria Kaibatsu -- 2 Days and counting (7) (1) This was a ladder match for the vacant title. (2) Tom Flesher was stripped of the title on 9/13/04, after walking out on a match with Ryan Dustin and the belt was held up. (3) This was a triple threat ladder match for the vacant title, also involving "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins and The Birdman. (4) During his reign, The Insane Luchador passed away and the title was declared vacant. (5) As the current #1 Contender, Scott Pretzler was awarded the vacant title by Smarkdown Commissioner Tom Flesher. (6) This was an Air Raid Match, also involving Austin Sly and Stryke (7) This was a triple threat match, also involving Grendel Longest Title Reign - JJ Johnson, 141 Days Most Title Reigns - Wildchild, Spike Jenkins and Scott Pretzler, 2 Most Days with Title - JJ Johnson, 141 Days **** SWF INTERCONTINENTAL TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP **** (IN-ACTIVE) 1. NTD -- 9/18/00 -- N/A -- 19 Days (1) 2. PIMP DADDY SARP - 10/07/00 -- NTD -- 29 Days 3. STUBBY "POTS" MCWEED -- 11/15/00 -- PDS -- 19 Days 4. MR. GALATEA - 12/4/00 -- Stubby "Pots" McWeed -- 13 Days (2) 5. FALLOUT -- 12/17/00 -- Mr. Galatea -- 42 Days 6. NEILSEN OF THE JUNGLE -- 01/28/01 -- Fallout -- 8 Days (3) 7. OUTCAST -- 02/05/01 -- Neilsen of the Jungle -- 55 Days 8. MERCURY -- 04/01/01 -- Outcast -- 13 Days (4) 9. "GRAND SLAM" MARK STEVENS -- 04/29/01 -- Angelous -- 28 Days(5) 10. CHRIS STORM -- 05/27/01 -- Mark Stevens -- 5 Days (6) 11. "GRAND SLAM" MARK STEVENS (2) -- 06/01/01 -- Chris Storm -- 35 Days 12. CHRIS RAYNOR -- 07/06/01 -- Mark Stevens -- 16 Days 13. AXIS -- 07/22/01 -- Chris Raynor -- 28 Days 14. EDWIN MACPHISTO -- 08/19/01 -- Axis -- 19 Days (7) 12. CHRIS STORM (2)-- 09/07/01 -- Edwin MacPhisto -- 9 Days 13. HVILLE THUGG -- 09/16/01 -- Chris Storm -- 61 Days (8) 14. AXIS (2) -- 11/16/01 -- Hville Thugg -- 37 Days 15. X -- 12/23/01 -- Axis -- 34 Days 16. THOTH -- 1/25/02 -- Xstasy -- 23 Days (9) 17. EDWIN MACPHISTO (2) -- 2/17/02 -- Thoth -- 60 Days 18. THOTH (2) -- 4/18/02 -- Edwin MacPhisto -- 10 Days 19. SACRED -- 4/28/02 -- Thoth -- 28 Days 20. FALLOUT (2) -- 5/26/02 -- Sacred -- 5 Days 21. SACRED (2) -- 5/31/02 -- Fallout -- 30 Days 22. EREK TAYLOR -- 6/30/02 -- Sacred -- 36 Days (10) 23. FALLOUT (3) -- 8/5/02 -- Erek Taylor -- 7 Days 24. CHRIS WILSON -- 8/12/02 -- Fallout -- 39 Days 25. PERFECT BO -- 9/20/02 -- Chris Wilson -- 9 Days (11) 26. TOM FLESHER -- 9/29/02 -- Perfect Bo -- 63 Days 27. OROCHI (3) -- 12/1/02 -- Tom Flesher -- 47 Days 28. FROST -- 1/17/03 -- Orochi -- 58 Days (12) 29. NEILSEN OF THE JUNGLE (2) -- 3/16/03 -- Frost -- 0 Days 30. FROST (2) -- 3/16/03 -- Neilsen of the Jungle -- 5 Days (13) 31. JAY DAWG -- 3/31/03 -- Danny Williams -- 34 Days (14) 32. DANNY WILLIAMS -- 5/4/03 -- Jay Dawg -- 55 Days 33. STRYKE -- 6/28/03 -- Danny Williams -- 9 Days 34. BEEZEL -- 7/7/03 -- Stryke -- 4 Days 35. MAK FRANCIS -- 7/11/03 -- Beezel -- 79 Days 36. "THE SACRED ONE" ANDREW BLACKWELL (3) -- 9/28/03 -- Mak Francis -- 24 Days 37. XSTASY (2) -- 10/22/03 -- Andrew Blackwell -- 40 Days 38. DACE NIGHT -- 12/01/03 -- Xstasy -- 15 Days 39. CHARLIE "GRAPPLER" MATTHEWS -- 12/16/03 -- Dace Night -- 82 Days 40. INSANE LUCHADOR -- 3/7/04 -- Charlie "Grappler" Matthews -- 10 Days 41. TOXXIC -- 3/17/04 -- Insane Luchador -- 23 Days 42. TERRENCE "JANUS" BAILEY -- 4/9/04 -- Toxxic -- 16 Days 43. TOXXIC (2) -- 4/25/04 -- Wildchild (15) -- 29 Days 44. TERRENCE "JANUS" BAILEY (2) -- 5/24/04 -- Toxxic -- 30 Days 45. LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MADDIX -- 6/23/04 -- Ace Lezaire (16) -- 24 Days 46. JOHNNY DANGEROUS -- 7/17/04 -- Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix -- 15 Days 47. LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MADDIX (2) -- 8/1/04 -- Johnny Dangerous -- 59 Days 48. "THE ICON" MAX KING -- 9/29/04 -- Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix -- 39 Days (17) 49. LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MADDIX (3) -- 11/7/04 -- "The Icon" Max King -- 138 Days 50. JOHNNY DANGEROUS (2) -- 3/25/05 -- Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix -- 5 Days (18) (1) NTD was the original champion, the belt was handed to him (2) Mr. Galatea defeated PDS, The Messiah, Fallout and Stubby in a Hide and Seek Match (3) Neilsen defeated Outcast and Fallout in a three way ladder match. (4) Mercury vacated the title due to various injuries (5) Mark Stevens defeated Angelous for the vacated title. (6) Chris Storm defeated Chris Wilson and Mark Stevens in a Last Man Standing Submission Match (7) Triple threat match also involving Xstasy (8) Triple threat match also involving Mistress Sarah (9) Triple threat match also involving Perfect Bo (10) Four way match also involving Fallout and Longdogger Pete (11) Triple threat Miami Mayhem match also involving Longdogger Pete (12) Triple threat match also involving Danny Williams (13) After winning the ICTV title from Frost, Neilsen rejected the belt, returning it to Frost and naming him the new champion. (14) Frost vacated the title on 3/21/03. This was a match for the vacant title. (15) Toxxic won the ICTV title in a four corners tag match triple fall match in which the first fall was for the ICTV title. The four teams involved were Toxxic & Jimmy "The Demon" Liston, Wildchild & Johnny Dangerous, Todd Cortez & Mike Van Siclen, and Terrence "Janus" Bailey & Aecas. (16) Ace Lezaire was Landon Maddix's opponent for the ICTV title after Janus vacated it earlier on the same night, having just won the SWF World Heavyweight Title on June 13th, 2004. (17) Max King was beaten in a Dumpster Match by Landon Maddix, for the title. However, due to a controversial decision in the match the title change was stricken from the records and King's title reign was deemed to have continued regardless. (18) ICTV Champion Johnny Dangerous defeated USJL Champion Jay Hawke to unify the two championships on March 30th. Longest Title Reign - Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix, 138 Days Most Title Reigns - Fallout, Orochi/Thoth, Sacred and Landon Maddix, 3 Most Days with Title - Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix, 220 Days **** SWF UNITED STATES / JUNIOR LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP **** (IN-ACTIVE) 1. OUTCAST -- 10/29/00 -- Spike -- 36 Days (1) 2. DIVEFIRE -- 12/04/00 -- Outcast -- 42 Days 3. MERCURY -- 01/15/01 -- Divefire -- 36 Days 4. AXIS -- 03/02/01 -- Mercury -- 45 Days 5. PERFECT BO -- 04/16/01 -- Axis -- 69 Days 6. EDWIN MACPHISTO -- 06/24/01 -- "Grand Slam" Mark Stevens -- 28 Days (2) 7. GRIMEDOGG -- 07/22/01 -- Edwin MacPhisto -- 28 Days 8. THOTH -- 08/19/01 -- Grimedogg -- 92 Days (3) 9. MERCURY (2) -- 11/19/01 -- Thoth -- 7 Days 10. BOBBY RILEY -- 11/26/01 -- Mercury -- 11 Days 11. SACRED -- 12/7/01 -- Bobby Riley -- 84 Days 12. XSTASY -- 3/1/02 -- Sacred -- 21 Days 13. JAY DAWG -- 3/22/02 -- Xstasy -- 9 Days 14. K-OS -- 3/31/02 -- Jay Dawg -- 5 Days (4) 15. JAY DAWG (2) -- 4/5/02 -- K-Os -- 8 Days 16. JAY DAWG (3) -- 4/28/02 -- Perfect Bo -- 33 Days (5) 17. TOM FLESHER -- 6/4/02 -- N/A -- 17 Days (6) 18. CHRIS RAYNOR -- 6/21/02 -- Tom Flesher -- 9 Days 19. TOM FLESHER (2) -- 6/30/02 -- Chris Raynor -- 36 Days (7) 20. "TNT" TAYLOR NICHOLAS THOMPSON -- 8/5/02 -- Tom Flesher -- 4 Days 21. TOM FLESHER (3) -- 8/9/02 -- "TNT" Taylor Nicholas Thompson -- 35 Days 22. TOD DEKINDES -- 9/13/02 -- Tom Flesher -- 49 Days 23. ANNIE ECLECTIC -- 11/1/02 -- Tod deKindes -- 30 Days 24. DANNY WILLIAMS -- 12/1/02 -- Annie Eclectic -- 68 Days 25. MAK FRANCIS -- 2/7/03 -- Danny Williams -- 16 Days 26. DANNY WILLIAMS (2) -- 2/23/03 -- Mak Francis -- 21 Days 27. MAK FRANCIS (2) -- 3/16/03 -- Danny Williams -- 15 Days 28. MICHAEL CRAVEN -- 3/31/03 -- Mak Francis -- 23 Days 29. MIKE VAN SICLEN -- 4/23/03 -- Michael Craven -- 11 Days 30. MICHAEL CRAVEN (2) -- 5/4/03 -- Mike Van Siclen -- 49 Days 31. MAK FRANCIS (3) -- 6/22/03 -- Michael Craven -- 10 Days 32. MICHAEL CRAVEN (3) -- 7/2/03 -- Mak Francis -- 19 Days 33. EJIRO FASAKI -- 7/21/03 -- Michael Craven -- 93 Days 34. JOHNNY DANGEROUS -- 10/22/03 -- Ejiro Fasaki -- 49 Days 35. LINCHPIN -- 12/10/03 -- Johnny Dangerous -- 28 Days 36. CHARLIE "GRAPPLER" MATTHEWS -- 1/7/04 -- Linchpin (8) -- 9 Days 37. "SACRED" ANDREW BLACKWELL (2) -- 1/16/04 -- Charlie Matthews -- 51 Days (9) 38. "COYOTE" COY WEST -- 3/7/04 -- "Sacred" Andrew Blackwell -- 24 Days 39. STRYKE -- 3/31/04 -- "Coyote" Coy West -- 14 Days 40. "WILD" COY WEST (2) -- 4/14/04 -- Stryke (10) -- 26 Days 41. LANDON “LA CUCARACHA” MADDIX -- 5/10/04 -- “Wild” Coy West -- 34 Days 42. ALAN CLARK -- 6/13/04 -- Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix -- 10 Days 43. THE MASKED MAN -- 6/23/04 -- Alan Clark (11) -- 28 Days 44. MANSON -- 7/21/04 -- The Masked Man -- 26 Days 45. "THE CORONA" VLADIMIR EVERHEART -- 8/16/04 -- Manson -- 9 Days 46. DAVID CROSS -- 8/25/04 -- "The Corona" Vladimir Everheart -- 9 Days 47. ACE LEZAIRE -- 9/3/04 -- David Cross -- 16 Days 48. DAVID CROSS (2) -- 9/19/04 -- Ace Lezaire -- 24 Days 49. ACE LEZAIRE (2) -- 10/14/04 -- David Cross -- 8 Days 50. TODD CORTEZ -- 10/22/04 -- Ace Lezaire -- 60 Days 51. SEAN DAVIS -- 12/21/04 -- Todd Cortez -- 29 Days (12) 52. LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MADDIX (2) -- 1/19/05 -- Sean Davis -- 46 Days (13) 53. AUSTIN SLY -- 3/7/05 -- Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix -- 19 Days 54. "THE DEAN OF PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING" JAY HAWKE -- 3/25/05 -- Austin Sly -- 5 Days (14) (1) Outcast won a 20 Man Tournament for the US Title, defeating Spike in the final. (2) This was a two fall, two title match, involving Edwin MacPhisto, Mark Stevens, Perfect Bo and eXodus. (3) Thoth defeated Grimedogg, Alex Cross and Robert Steele, in a Last Blood Match (4) This was a triple threat elimination match also involving Lady Red. (5) Due to a controversial decision the title was held up on 4/13/02. This was a match for the vacant title. (6) Jay Dawg was stripped of the title on 5/31/02. This was a triple threat match for the vacant title also involving Annie Eclectic and Xero. (7) This was a triple threat match also involving Jay Dawg. (8) The Intercontinental Television Title was also on the line in this match. (9) Sacred defeated Landon Maddix on February 1st, 2004 to unify the United States and Smartmarks Junior League Championships. (10) This was a triple threat match also involving Todd Royal. (11) Alan Clark was involved in a four corners match with Todd Cortez and Aecas for the title where the first pin wins; Clark was the man pinned in the match. (12) Sean Davis won the USJL title in a 'Double The Titles, Double The Pleasure' match, by climbing the ladder and retrieiving Cortez's belt. Also involved in the match were Munich and Carnage. (13) The Intercontinental Television Title was also on the line in this match. (14) ICTV Champion Johnny Dangerous defeated USJL Champion Jay Hawke to unify the two championships on March 30th. Longest Title Reign - Ejiro Fasaki, 93 Days Most Title Reigns - Jay Dawg, Tom Flesher, Mak Francis and Michael Craven, 3 Most Days with Title - Sacred/Andrew Blackwell, 135 Days **** SWF WOMEN'S CHAMPIONSHIP **** (IN-ACTIVE) 1. KELLY CONNELLY -- 10/13/04 -- n/a (1) -- 25 Days 2. MEGAN SKYE -- 11/7/04 -- Kelly Connelly -- 44 Days 3. KELLY CONNELLY (2) -- 12/21/04 -- Megan Skye -- 60 Days (2) (1) Kelly Connelly was given the belt as a present by Max King on October 13th. The first official defence of the belt occured on October 22nd, with Kelly retaining the title in a fourway dance against Ebony, Annie Eclectic and Megan Skye. (2) This was a Triple Threat, Christmas Tree Match also involving Jet. Longest Title Reign - Kelly Connelly, 60 Days Most Title Reigns - Kelly Connelly, 2 Most Days with Title - Kelly Connelly, 85 Days **** SWF LIGHT-HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP **** (IN-ACTIVE) 1. MAYOR MCCHEESE -- 9/18/00 -- NTD -- 19 Days (1) 2. CURRY MAN -- 10/07/00 -- Mayor McCheese -- 22 Days 3. "INSANE" JOE FLYER -- 10/29/00 -- Curry Man -- 28 Days 4. MAYOR MCCHEESE (2) -- 11/26/00 -- "Insane" Joe Flyer -- 19 Days (2) (3) 5. BOBBY RILEY -- 12/17/00 -- Exploding Chicken -- 82 Days (4) 6. NEILSEN OF THE JUNGLE -- 3/09/01 -- Bobby Riley -- 45 Days (5) 7. SACRED -- 4/23/01 -- Neilsen of the Jungle -- 6 Days (6) 8. ANDREA MONTGOMERY -- 5/27/01 -- eXodus -- 40 Days (7) 9. EL LUCHADORE MAGNIFICO -- 7/06/01 -- Andrea Montgomery -- 8 Days 10. ANDREA MONTGOMERY (2) -- 7/14/01 -- El Luchadore Magnifico -- 8 Days 11. EL LUCHADORE MAGNIFICO (2) -- 7/22/01 -- Andrea Montgomery -- 56 Days (8) 12. JAMIE "KID BULLET" BJORK -- 9/16/01 -- El Luchadore Magnifico -- 35 Days 13. FALLOUT -- 10/21/01 -- Jamie Bjork -- 152 Days (9) 14. EL LUCHADORE MAGNIFICO (3) -- 3/22/02 -- Fallout -- 42 Days 15. EREK TAYLOR -- 5/3/02 -- El Luchadore Magnifico -- 23 Days 16. EL LUCHADORE MAGNIFICO (4) -- 5/26/02 -- Erek Taylor -- 63 Days 17. TOM FLESHER -- 7/28/02 -- El Luchadore Magnifico -- 68 Days 18. ANNIE ECLECTIC -- 10/4/02 -- Tom Flesher -- 35 Days (10) 19. EL LUCHADORE MAGNIFICO (5) -- 11/8/02 -- Annie Eclectic -- 4 Days (11) (1) This was for the vacant title. (2) Triple Threat match, also involving Exploding Chicken (3) Mayor McCheese was thought to be "killed" and his title was vacated (4) Ladder Match for the vacant title. (5) Triple Threat match, also involving Spike (6) At From the Fire (4/29/01), in a three title, three fall match, Grimedogg won the Light Heavyweight Title fall, however, he was over the limit, and the title became vacated. (7) Ladder Match for the vacant title. (8) Four way ladder match also involving Chris Storm and Mayor McCheese (9) Triple threat match with Mistress Sarah and the Hardcore Title on the line as well (10) Triple threat match also involving Tod deKindes (11) Triple threat match also involving Mak Francis. The Light-Heavyweight Title was suspended on 11/12/02. Longest Title Reign - Fallout, 152 Days Most Title Reigns - El Luchadore Magnifico, 5 Most Days with Title - El Luchadore Magnifico, 173 Days **** OVERALL STATS **** Longest Title Reigns 1. Jay Hawke, 274 Days (INT) 2. Bruce Blank, 213 Days (HCG) 3. El Luchadore Magnifico, 175 Days (WHV) Most Title Reigns 1. El Luchadore Magnifico, 5 (LHV) 2. Danny Williams, 4 (WHV) 2. El Luchadore Magnifico, 4 (WHV) 2. Chris Raynor, 4 (Tag) 2. Wildchild, 4 (Tag) 2. Johnny Dangerous, 4 (Tag) 2. Ash Ketchum/Michael Craven, 4 (HCG) Most Days with Title 1. El Luchadore Magnifico, 394 Days (WHV) 2. Wild and Dangerous, 312 Days (Tag) 3. Jay Hawke, 303 Days (INT)

HI-YAH Tag Team Championships D*LUX © vs. The Beverly Hills Blonds

Okay, my stuff's in.

I'll try to update the Tour Schedule soon unless someone beats me to it. Feel free to beat me to it, anyone, if you wish. Two shows until School's Out, so make it a good'n people.