King Cucaracha

15k and done. Pretty sure Duran should have it all now too, the board screwed up on me earlier as it's prone to do. JJ, besta luck.

YES! Claudio and Hero for ROH Tag Champions!

Incase you hadn't noticed, Patty has edited in a 24/7 Title segment and it demands reading...especially from whoever updates title histories, hint hint.

What Bruce said, except I'm on 9k.

To be fair, the intro's got more padding than a 12 year old's bra.

Zyon- "Cool, I broke his brain." I think I missed something with the last line, but intriguing stuff regardless.

More of a facebump, but Taka in the 2000 Rumble.

About 4k and at this rate, I'm heading for 20k. Groan.

From the imaginary OAOAST.com! Plus, something involving Christian Wright and Bohemoth.

Alf's matches have graciously been edited in by moi. EDIT: And some feedback! Man, I was on fire this week, huh? Co-Lines of the night. Wowza. Although, to be fair, Patty's may or may not have something to edit in soon that'll blow me out of the water. It takes me a while to remember which one Frank is and which one Frankie is sometimes, but I like the Bruisers. The again, I like the Steiners. Glad to see I've inadvertantly started a feud for someone. *Boink* has to be the greatest sound effect ever. Nice double build, two feuds in one, good stuff. Nice squash by Alf. No sure there's much else to say about it, except I'd like to see Team Heyross do something bigger again, real soon. D*LUX/Boiz was actually the second match I wrote so I'm surprised it was okay. Now that I think of it, Melody and Jade should be the New Chicks Over Dicks. Some more intrigue with Brock and seeing as I didn't say it last week like everyone else, count me in on the Brock bandwagon. Another nice squash by Alf and good to see people remembering there's a PPV coming up. Speaking of which, here's a patented Hoff promo. 'Real silver' sunglasses? How the hell do you see out of them? That'd be like walking around with two spoons over your eyes, surely? Silly Hoff. A CSI mention, which is for the show and not the stable, but seeing as we're here...now Hoff's back, when are CSI coming back? Make it happen Hoff. Make it happen. Heel Hoff > Face Hoff by the way. I'm amazed Chinese people can understand Dan's English accent...or, his English, period...but that aside, another fine promo to build to Living Anglelously. Dan/Hoff should be awesome. It's amazing how much that smilie looks like Buff/Hoff actually. Unlike Tony, personally, I liked my Love Doctors/CW-Bo match better than the Boiz/D*LUX match. Maybe it's just me. Jackie Gayda re - turns! Holy crap! And Drek pwns her, awesome. MACHO MAN! Wow, Drek bringing them all back. Very nice promo from Drek, short but sweet. Yay, another LA Match to look forward to. Again, liking the push for Brock. A rare(ish) promo for T-Bod, which gets a thumbs up from me. Hey, whatever happened to Candie being pregnant? Or did I imagine it? Whatever, a promo where Zack ate her afterbirth would be money, pure money. Uhm...match...yeah. A great match actually, well written triple threat. I kinda have an inside scoop on the masked men so I won't say too much, but I'm excited about where it's all going.

I have to agree with Whipwreck/Kidman, loved that match.

Agreed. That's why I didn't include Bret/Owen, because it went past opener status and stole the show. Technically it was the best match that was an opener rather than the best opener. Rockers/Orient Express didn't become the most important thing on the show, so I'd count it.

I agree with Jingus, Brother Runt is terrible. Is Skipper really Canadian? If so, they need to get him out of Diamonds In The Rough, stick him in Team Canada and actually do something with the guy because right now he's a virtual nobody.

God will turn out to be Henry Godwinn, who turns on HBK and Slop Drops him allowing Vince to get the pin. Mark my words.

Wow, actually reading that match, it's better than I remember. We need Thoth to book a show for old times sake.

That was my first thought when I saw the trailer. The plot seems to be simply 'maniac tries to slaughter teens for some reason' which has been done before and with better directors, using a better or more experienced cast. Kane seems like he could do a pretty convincing job, but you get the feeling watching the trailer that it's been done a million times before and you've seen it those million times before. You know what's coming. Unlike the psychological horror films that'd have done well where there's more of an air of mystery and intrigue than just 'How's Kane gonna kill this guy?'

Suffice to say, that picture was my crowning achievement to that point. That must have taken me at least 5 minutes to come up with that extremely complicated set-up too.

Yay Fighting Spirit Squad! Another n00b here.

Man, I knew I should have voted as Laberinto. Repeatedly. For Comet.

Match of the Night: JJ versus Maddix, probably, or Spike/Zyon Runner-up Match of the Night: Ultimate Air Raid X SWF World Heavyweight Championship Match JJ Johnson vs. Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix - First PPV main event since...uh, probably From The Fire '05. That didn't turn out too well. Me, hopefully, so long as I don't overload with OATTOAST stuff in the meantime. STREET FIGHT "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins vs. Zyon - Spike, with the feud to rumble on until the next PPV. SWF International Championship Match Wildchild © vs. Jimmy the Doom - DubCee, although I'd hate to be marking this. Talk about a clash in writing styles, comparing them could be real hard. GRUDGE MATCH Bruce Blank vs. Insane Luchadore - Bruce SWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP - AIR RAID MATCH "The Divine Wind" Akira Kaibatsu © vs. Grendel vs. Stryke vs. Austin Sly - Aki ra. Amy Stephens © vs. Megan Skye - Mouth kept firmly shut. Jay Hawke vs. Manson © - Jay. Let's Get Everyone Booked II! Michael Cross vs. Sean Davis - Davis Let's Get Everyone Booked! David Cross vs. Christian Fury - Uhm...push.

What percentage of limp mobility does Mak have?

Just signed but nowhere near written! HI-YAH Tag Team Titles The Love Doctors © -vs- Christian Wright and Bohemoth

**EARLIER TODAY** **LIKE, A LOT EARLIER** Landon Maddix and Megan Skye have arrived. For them, it's a familiar but long forgotten feeling, arriving to an arena side by side. Infact, it's been pretty close to a year since the duo were last associated with each other and a lot of water has passed under the bridge since then. Everything's rosy in the garden now though (running out of ye olde sayings here), which catches the eye of the not so esteemed journalist known as Benjamin Hardy, desperate for a scoop. It's been a while. "Just stick with me, everything'll be fine." Landon assures Megan, despite looking around the empty surroundings nervously. "She'll have calmed down by now and realised what's going on. Must have just been the concussion clouding her judgement before. Once she sees me with that belt around my waist, you and her will be best friends, I'm sure of it..." "Landon!" the intrepid Hardy chimes, catching Landon's attention. And by 'catching his attention', read 'causes him to jump out of his skin'. "Landon, Megan!" "Jesus Ben, do we need all the drama? A simple wave or a muffled cough would have done." "Yeah yeah, whatever. Landon, the SWF has been thrown up into a state of confusion in the past few days since Wes Davenport vacated the World Championship and left for pastures old...and you have been responsible for a lot of that confusion, after you and Megan re-united on Lockdown. Are we going to get an explanation from you tonight, or what?" Turning to Megan, Landon smiles knowingly. "Benny boy, the only thing we're here to do tonight is to collect what's mine. Contrary to what I said last week, I'd like to wish a man that I admire in Wes Davenport the best of luck in his no-doubt soon to be successful movie career. And I'd also like to thank him for wisely stepping aside without wasting his time and effort trying to fend me off. So often in wrestling, people engage in long, drawn out disputes over nothing simply because their egos are so gigantic. It's good to see men like myself and Wes exist, looking to buck this trend. So, as the OFFICIAL Number One Contender to the SWF World Heavyweight Championship, with no Champion to contend with, tonight I'm here to take my belt." "Uhm...well, obviously, you haven't heard from Joseph Peters. Word is, he has plans for the belt." "Oh, what's he gonna do, put in up in a tournament?" scoffs Landon. "Well, no." "Of course he's not. The number one contender faces the champion. So, once the champion is no more, the belt should automatically transfer to the number one contender. It's simple . Putting the belt on someone else would be the worst decision since they killed off Paul in 8 Simple Rules. I'm sure they had their reasons and it was brave TV development, but it's just not the same anymore." "I'm...I'm sorry?" "Don't worry, it helps him to talk about it." sighs Megan. "Look, point is..." Landon pauses. "...uhm...what was the point again?" "The World Title." groans Hardy, looking over his shoulder in the vain hope of an escape route. "Oh, yeah, that. Now, I'm sure some of the boys in the back are going to feel a little 'precious' about little ol' me walking in and taking the World Title since I've been kinda, sorta avoiding the titles with the Toxxic thing the past few months, but at the risk of sounding egotistical...HELLO! Former World Heavyweight Champion here! Who else is qualified to have the belt? Who? I'm the only active wrestler on the roster to have held the World Heavyweight Title. The ONLY active wrestler. Not Zyon. Not Wildchild. Not Jay Hawke. Not Bruce Blank. Not Akira Kaiwhatsit. Not...uhm...Megan, what's one of the unimportant wrestlers names?" "Stryke?" "Yeah, he'll do. None of them have ever been the World Champion. Nobody on the active roster has won the Clusterfuck. Nobody on the active roster can take their meagre little achievements, place them side by side with mine and say 'I am better than Landon Maddix' without the alarms sounding and the lie detector pens going googo-gaaga on them. If certain 'never weres' have got a problem with that, they can take their little disputes up with me once the belt is around my waist and try to prove that their bitching, crying and moaning is actually warranted and that they could actually BE a World Champion, rather than some guy who jerks the curtains fighting robots and running around Malls looking for golden tickets. Until then, they can continue warming the crowd up on MY undercards. And remember, big girls don't cry. Bounce." With a beckoning finger, Landon leads Megan off to the relief of Benjamin Hardy. "I liked him better when he had crippling depression."

I can never tell if Muzz is being sarcastic or not. JJ, stats are updated.