King Cucaracha

D*LUX -vs- Christian Wright and Bohemoth w/ Special Guest Commentator Krista Isadora Duncan pending permission. And if I have time, Jamie O'Hara -vs- HI-YAH's Dance Dance Dragon.

I'm looking to get into PWG and there's a few recommendations in here already, but an updated list of say the best 5 PWG shows would be marvellous. Also, some recommendations for a good show to start with considering I only know most of the PWG 'homegrown' wrestlers in passing would help. Also, Zero One and IWS recommendations would be nice.

Okay, so what does anyone see in Joey Ryan? I've seen him 4 times and all four times he was pretty terrible. Am I missing something? Is there some interesting or entertaining gimmick I'm missing, because so far all I've got is he wears a 70s sort of shirt and he likes Hilary Duff. He comes off as really bland in the ring and he managed to have a really terrible match with El Generico at Cage Of Death 7...and I love Generico. And he is/was the PWG Champion? I don't get it. So, who don't you get the love for?

Benoit, Trish Stratus, Shawn Michaels and the Undertaker. Trish's music is terrible. Terrible, but recognizable based only on how long she's had it. HBK's music doesn't fit his current character AT ALL, and I used to like it but now it's pretty intolerable. I guess it's good for the long standing recognition... that applies to Taker too. Yeah. Unless he were turn heel, it'd be weird for Shawn to come out to anything other than Sexy Boy if only because he's used it for so damn long. Even as a heel it'd be weird.

PR, I'll be on for the next 3 hours or so, so if you read this before then send stuff to me and I can edit it in.

"JUST ONE ON ONE THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY! JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT! JUST ONE ON ONE THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY! JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT'S THE WAY WE DO IT!" As A1's "First To Believe hits, the crowd look ready to either leave in protest or alternatively riot...that is, until they see the delightful Jade Rodez walking through the entrance doors with a smile that could melt even the blackest, stoniest, frozenest heart and realise it's time for HeldDOWN~! to go D*LUX! Jade stops on the stage with hands on hips, striking a pose as "Showtime" Shayne Brave and "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant emerge and stand either side, saluting their fans.in between dancing along to the boyband beats bursting through the P.A System. I don't care what you haters say, it's a cool song. Also cool are Tyler and Shayne, kitted out in green dyed denim and wearing some very expensive looking sunglasses. The two pose besides Jade for a second or two, before the youngest Rodez sibling points the way to the ring and the two make their way down the aisle tagging hands merrily. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall Coming to the ring at this time, being accompanied to the ring by their managing consultant, Jade Rodez...making their OAOAST debuts tonight. At a total combined weight of three hundred and ninety seven pounds... "SHOWTIME" SHAYNE and "TREMENDOUS" TYLER... they are D*LLLUUUUUUXXXXXXXXXX!!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Tyler and Shayne leap to the apron and take a hand each of Jade, using their well toned muscles to help her glide gracefully from ringside to the apron. Together they then hold the ropes open for Jade to enter the ring, before entering themselves and standing either side of their kneeling manager with merchandise selling smiles! BUFFER And, currently in the ring are their opponents... LOS CONQUISADOOOOOORRRRRRRSSSSSSS!! The golden boys of the tag team division (literally) salute, but nobody is watching them, all eyes fixed on the grandious entrance of the newest duo in the OAOAST. Tyler and Shayne remove their glasses and jackets and hand them safely to Jade, who leaves the ring to take up her new position of manager in the corner. One of the Conquistadors, Uno for ease if nothing else assumes control and elects to start. Meanwhile across the ring, Tyler and Shayne pump fists before Tyler exits to the apron. COLE Wow, that was something, huh? CABOOSE I'll admit they've got the aesthetics sorted, but now it's time to deliver. And as we all know, these boybands tend to be all show and very little substance, so I'm not holding my breath just yet. *DINGDINGDING!* "Showtime" Shayne kicks off with Uno and offers up a handshake. The Latin America stares at the hand and after a few seconds comes up, wagging a finger in Shayne's face and suggesting that they should start the match with an old school test of strength. Shayne isn't sure about it, he being 'a buck 88' and the beefy Conquistador tipping the scales at 230 pounds. But the temptation eventually gets to Shayne and he raises and arm looking to lock knuckles...only for Uno to suddenly and unexplicably do a forward roll past him and raise a fist in the air to the crowd. COACH OLÉ! COLE A little bit of mind games perhaps from the Conquistador. Shayne folds his arms and shakes his head, disappointed at the bait and switch. Seeking assurance he looks to the outside, where Jade warmly encourages him not to worry. Again Conquistador Uno offers up a test of strength and now Shayne is feeling a little better about things, reaching up and locking fingers. As he does so, Tyler sneaks into the ring and drops to all fours behind Uno, as the gold bodysuit wearing Conquistador predictably stuns Shayne with a boot and turns to hit the ropes... ...tripping over Tyler and landing with a thud on his face! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Jade hops up and down on the floor applauding her men, as Dos scrambles into the ring. Tyler quickly points this arrival out to his partner however and D*LUX deal with him with a quick double dropkick, sending Dos into reverse and tumbling out through the ropes, crashing to the floor! With Dos taken care of, Tyler and Shayne now take Uno by a arm a-piece and whip him across the ring. On the rebound, Uno manages to read a double backbody drop attempt and he kicks Tyler in the chest, snapping him upright. Uno then goes to clothesline Shayne. Shayne ducks though and Uno carries on into a fireman's carry by Tyler, who does a quick spin of the ring before Shayne catches Uno's head and the combined efforts of D*LUX drive Uno into the mat with a Samoan Drop/Neckbreaker combination! COLE We've had some notes prepared for us by the lovely and very helpful Jade Rodez and apparantly, that's the "Rock Your Body". Heh, cute. CABOOSE Only a flaming meterosexual like you would be amused by a Justin Timberlake reference. COLE Hey, he's buff now. Did you see the tats he's got for his new movie. YI-EEKES! CABOOSE :O Looking for some solace, Uno tries to roll from the ring. "Showtime" Shayne stops him short though, grabbing him by the foot and pulling him back from under the ropes, into the ring. Unloading with some quick forearm strikes, Shayne then bursts into the ropes and takes down Uno with a spinning back elbow. Jade encourages Shayne to make a quick cover and he does just that... 1... 2... Kickout. Shayne pulls Uno back up and makes the exchange with Tyler while dragging Uno to the centre of the ropes. Together D*LUX send Uno off the ropes and catch him on the rebounds with elbows buried to the gut. Dos jumps to the apron but is taken care of by Tyler, while Shayne manages to hoist Uno up and plants him across his knee with an inverted atomic drop. But D*LUX aren't done as Shayne hangs onto Uno, while Tyler hits the ropes behind him, launching forward and KOing Uno with a Yakuza Kick right to the jaw!! JADE WHHHOOOOOOOOOOO!! COLE And that's "Opposites Attract", named in honour of American Idol judge Paula Abdul who was the only one to say something encouraging to these two youngsters during their auditions for T.V's most prestigious prize! CABOOSE Have you heard them? I'm surprised she even humoured them. Tyler gets the crowd behind him while Shayne goes back to the apron under request by referee Charles Robinson. Pulling Uno to his feet, Tyler backs the Latin American into a corner and climbs to the turnbuckles. A smile and a wink is all the handsome youngster needs to get the crowd behind him, as he pulls Uno's head back by the mask aaaaaand... "1!" "2!" "3!" "4!" "5!" "6!" "7!" "8!" "9!" "10!" "YAAAAAAAAAAAAY!" Dropping from the ropes, Tyler waits for Uno to stagger out from the corner and lands a boot to the gut. Tyler then hooks on a front facelock and uses the ropes and turnbuckles as a walkway to spin a full 360, planting Uno with a dynamic Tornado DDT!! Following up quickly, Tyler pushes Uno down and makes the pin... 1... 2... Save by Dos! CONQISTADOR DOS ARRIBA! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Dos is a little surprised by the rection, but the crowd are solidly behind the photogenic duo they're facing. And as such, they erupt as Shayne Brave soars from the top and takes out Dos with a missile dropkick! COLE Nice elevation from Showtime! CABOOSE Who chose these guys' nicknames? I mean, they're not bad, but I'd hardly call them ground-breaking. Back up rapidly, Shayne is joined by Tyler now as they take an arm each on Dos. A double armwringer is followed by a double irish whip. Dos only gets to arms length though before D*LUX cross over and pull the sparkling gold fruitball back and down with a Double Necktie manueuver. Shayne and Tyler then go for Uno and connect with knees to the gut before taking an arm and a leg each, hoisting Uno up. Faced with a face-first drop to the mat Uno panickily tries to escape as he thrases and flails, looking for an escape route. None is found however, as the masked man is dropped across knees with a Double Gutbuster! COLE The Cowell Movement! CABOOSE Well, that was prett...wait, the WHAT!?! COLE The Cowell Movement. CABOOSE That's either the cleverst pun in OAOAST history or the worst thing ever. Jade again shows her encouragement and delight with applause as Shayne charges Dos against the ropes, executing a Cactus Jack style clothesline that takes both deliverer and recipient over the top rope and to the floor! That leaves "Tremendous" Tyler and the not nearly so tremendous Conquistador Uno in the ring. Uno holds his gut as he stumbles around the ring aimlessly. Brushing past him, Tyler shoots off the ropes and dives forward with a devestating Spear, his momentum flipping him over into a Jacknife pin with both legs hooked... 1... 2... 3!!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* A very pleased Jade Rodez applauds the victory as she enters the ring and gives Tyler a friendly embrace. Shayne gets one two as he enters the ring and it's smiles all round as D*LUX get their hands raised in an impressive debut victory. The crowd rise to appreciate the two newcomers as they pump fists on a job well done. COLE Victory for D*LUX and that was The Merry Tyler Gore Show right there! CABOOSE Oh God... COLE That aside, impressive stuff from the debuting D*LUX and it looks like Jade Rodez might be onto a winner with these two, judging by that performance. CABOOSE Everybody beats Los Conquistadors. COLE Well, it was a good start. Of course it wasn't the hardest test these two will face, but even the mightest tree grows from a small acorn. CABOOSE You're as bad as they are. Who the hell thought up those stupid move names anyway? COLE According to these notes, "Creative Consultant: Alix Maria Spezia". CABOOSE Figures.

The mish-mashed stylings of "Word Up" by Korn pound through the arena as we return to the Haitch Dee, accompanying the trio of The Triple Threat to the ring. The 6-Man Tag Team Champions Nick, Dick and Rick emerge onto the stage, all wearing their identical ring attire making them virtually indistinguishable from the others as they pull down their hoods in unison, holding three fingers to the sky. BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall! On the way to the ring, being accompanied to the ring by his brothers Nick and Rick Garner. From Green Bay, Wisconsin...he weighs in at two hundred and twenty five pounds. One third of the OAOAST 6-Man World Tag Team Champions... DDIIIIIIIIIIIIICCKK GGAAAAARRRRRRNNEEEEERRRRRRRR!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Well this should be a tough test here for Garner, who's obviously used to the tag team environment, having to compete in singles action against a former X-Division Champion. But he hasn't come alone tonight. All three Garners are coming to the ring and I don't envy referee Nick Patrick tonight. COACH No doubt. The ref's gotta keep his eye on Dick and not get distracted by the other men around him. Otherwise, he's gonna lose sight of the Dick and he might get taken advantage of from behind. CABOOSE Kill me now. The Triple Threat enter the ring together and the confused referee asks for Nick and Rick to leave the ring. They oblige (assuming they are actually Nick and Rick), leaving Patrick to feel Dick up and down...for weapons. Check your inhibitions at the door people. [b]*GOOOOONG!*[/b] "YEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" "C'mon man" "DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK..." The crowd jump to their feet and groove along to the sounds of "Mama Said Knock You Out" and the entrance of the former X-Division Champion, Leon Rodez. In a belated St. Patricks Day green, Rodez does a quick spin in the entrance to show off his shimmering robe before hand-slapping his way down the aisle. COLE And his opponent! Proudly hailing from Grand Rapids, Michigan and weighing two hundred, twenty eight pounds... "SILKY SMOOTH"... LLLLEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOONN RRRROOOOOOOOOODDEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!! "YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Vaulting to the ring apron, Rodez salutes his army of fans before springing into the ring. Rodez quickly disrobes and we see that the rib injury is still present, as tape is still wrapped around the injured body area. Meanwhile, Dick goes into conference with Nick and Rick on the outside, looking a little uncomfortable without his ever present fellow triplets on the apron with him. Removing his 6-Man Tag Title, Dick hands the gold to Rick (or Nick) and the triplets exchange and last series of encouraging high-fives before Dick turns to the centre of the ring and goes through some quick stretches. Across the ring Rodez comes up clear of weapons and jigs out of his corner, looking a little bemused by the fact that the Garners look EXACTLY ALIKE~ but shaking it off. COLE This is a last warm-up for Leon as he heads into AngleMania V, looking to finally dethrone Tha Puerto Rican of his 24/7 Championship. But you have to wonder how wise this is, taking up a match 10 days from AngleMania, considering the rib injury he suffered just two weeks ago. CABOOSE You don't need to wonder anything. It's a dumb move. Rodez is dumb. End of story. *DINGDINGDING!* The bell sounds and Rodez immediately skids across the mat, swiping out at the legs of Dick with and attempted sweep which Dick only just avoids. Rodez comes back up and the two men lock up. Grabbing a quick side headlock, Dick confidently smiles out at his brothers, apparantly feeling this singles match deal isn't a tough as people make out. His confidence is misplaced though, as Rodez fires off a forearm to the ribs. And a second. Rodez then backs Dick into the ropes and pushes him off the other side, striding in...only to get knocked down by Dick, who completes the patented Velocity opening sequence with a shoulder block (P.S, read my Velocity recaps on TSM, shill.). Smirking, Dick flexes his muscles as Rodez rolls to the ropes and favours his ribs. COACH Wow, look at those veins on Dick just throbbing out through the skin! What muscularity! Rodez accepts defeat and now offers up a knucklelock. Swatting the hand away, Dick grabs another side headlock and wrenches up on the head. Again Rodez goes to the ribs and sends Dick off, again giving him a running start. But this time, no shoulder block is coming as Rodez drops down and forces Dick to vault over top. On runs the 6-Man specialist and he rebounds off the ropes, right into a beautiful standing dropkick from Rodez, who dives straight into the cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Instinctively Dick scrambles across the ring and extends a hand for a tag. If there were anyone to tag it might be a smart move, but as it is it's pretty darned dumb. Rodez catches Dick in the corner, pulling him back by the tights and nailing Dick with a right hand! Rodez lands another...and another, before making a break for the ropes... ...and stumbling back, as one of the Garner triplets trips his leg from the outside! The crowd howl at referee Patrick to do something and despite not seeing what happened, he warns Nick and Rick anyway, while Dick takes out Rodez with a stiff clothesline! COLE I don't understand why Nick Patrick isn't throwing these two out of here. Their presence out here is going to be nothing but trouble out here and he should know that. CABOOSE Come on Mikey, they're triplets. Where one goes, so do the others. COLE They're not conjoined! CABOOSE No but they're close family. You didn't complain when we had Melody Nerdly sitting out here last week. COLE Yeah, but she wasn't interfering in the match like Rick and/or Nick. Dick rises to his feet and locks knuckles with the kneeling Rodez, pulling his arm away from his body and simply PUNTING Rodez in his injured ribs! Another punting kick finds it's mark and Rodez is writhing now, going into retreat as he shuffles backwards into the corner. Dick follows in and Leon desperately kicks out at him in defence. The boot gets swatted away though and Dick instead slams his boot into Leon's ribs. Nick and Rick shout encouragement as Dick begins to stomp a mudhole and walk it dry, bah gawd, putting the boots to Rodez until Patrick is forced to intervene. Dick backs off briefly, but once his warning is taken in, he brushes past Patrick and grabs Rodez by the legs. Instictively Rodez grabs the ropes but instead of pulling out, Dick pulls up, hurling Rodez upwards into the air and catching him on the way down with a Sitout Powerbomb! 1... 2... Kickout! Pulling Rodez to his feet with him, Dick drags Rodez to the centre of the ring. A scoop and a slam follows, before Dick begins his usual tactics of working on the legs, picking up Rodez's limp right leg and attempting to pull it from it's thigh socket! Despite the knee surgery being two years ago, Rodez still reacts in pain to the tugging at the knee, especially as Dick does it again. Folding up the leg, Dick then places Rodez's foot on the mat with his knee sticking upright...and double stomps down on the knee, compressing the rest of the leg underneath his 225 pound bodyweight!! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE What do you think PRL is thinking now that Dick's going after the leg suddenly and abandoning the injured ribs, 'Boose? CABOOSE I doubt PRL cares. Aside from the fact that he'll beat Rodez whether he's 40%, 60% or 100%, if Rodez has a bad knee he won't climb a ladder in 10 days. Dick now has a focus and stalks Rodez as he writhes on the canvas, stomping on the knee again. Dick then pulls Rodez back to his feet and ducks in at the side, folding Rodez's leg up again and this time hoisting him up, going for a shinbreaker. However, Rodez manages to shift his weight in mid-air and tumbles behind Garner, bringing him down with a sunset flip... 1... Dick rolls through and comes to his feet, spinning around Rodez's right leg and looking for a figure four leglock. A foot in the ass prevents that though and Dick is sent stumbling forward, crashing chest first into the turnbuckles in front of him. Back staggers Dick and Rodez shuffles around behind him, re-positioning himself to again take Dick down into a sunset flip pin... 1... 2... Kickout! Both men roll backwards and back to their feet. However, one of those men has a bad knee. And that bad knee causes Rodez to slow up momentarily, allowing Dick to capitalise with a basement dropkick that sends the right leg lurching out from underneath the Silky Smooth One! COACH Dick thrusting right through Rodez there with penetrative force! Rodez drops to one knee and nurses the bad leg, while Dick scrambles back up. Applying a front facelock, the 6-Man Tag Champion swings a clubbing forearm over the back of Leon to soften him up before taking him up and over with a crisp vertical suplex. "YOU'RE A DICK!" "YOU'RE A DICK!" "YOU'RE A DICK!" "YOU'RE A DICK!" The fans state the obvious and Dick isn't sure for a moment whether the chants are complimentary or derogatory. Of course, they're the latter and Dick eventually figures it out. Pulling Rodez back to his feet, Dick backs him into the corner and demands the crowd pipe down, as he buries a knee into the abdomen. Dick lands another two knees before then hooking Rodez's right leg over the middle rope. Too pre-occupied with his ribs to defend himself, Rodez is easy pickings as Dick hits the ropes beside the adjacent corner, charging across the ring with a facewash style kick right to the right leg!! Rodez promptly collapses to the mat and clutches his knee in agony, while Dick poses for the crowd. COLE At this rate Leon is going to have a real tough time at AngleMania V, because Dick is in control. CABOOSE At this rate, Rodez isn't even gonna make it to AngleMania V. Dick again brings the hobbling Rodez up and simply kicks him across the hamstring to drop him to one knee, giving him the opportunity to run the ropes. As he charges back though, Dick gets sidestepped by Rodez...and as he rebounds a second time, Rodez intercepts him with a desperation clothesline! Dick rolls out of the ring to collect his thought and his brothers gather around him, while referee Nick Patrick checks on the condition of Rodez and makes sure he's okay to continue. Rodez gives the thumbs up as Dick rolls back into the ring...looking suspiciously fresh and recovered as he suddenly jumps upon Rodez and pounds him to the ground with clubbing forearm after clubbing forearm. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Woah...woah, wait, is that Dick? CABOOSE You talking about the match or just daydreaming again? COLE The match! I think The Triple Threat just pulled a switcheroo! The referee seems none the wiset, but the fans nearest The Triple Threat certainly seem to be protesting about something. And one of the Garners on the floor is suspiciously nursing his neck, as 'Dick' now stomps away on the ribs of Rodez. Ignoring the protests from the referee, 'Dick' now hooks Rodez up in a front facelock and knees him in the gut, before hooking Rodez up in a gutwrench and twisting him around into a modified tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Rodez groans in pain, as 'Dick' hurriedly makes the pin... 1... 2... Kickout! COLE You can't tell me that that's Dick in the ring guys, there was obviously a switch! CABOOSE Oh, stop being so suspicious. Just because they look alike, doesn't mean you can discriminate against them. Dragging Leon nearer to the ropes, 'Dick' places a foot on the middle rope. After a quick pause to taunt the fans, he then springs up and gets big height on a kneedrop to the ribs! 'Dick' uses the middle rope as a launchpad to again drop the knee before going for a third. As he gets airborne though, a foot suddenly becomes lodged in his backside and is used to push him up, over the top rope and to the floor! Again the Garners at ringside gather around their fallen brother and Patrick again goes to check on Rodez. Suspecting something is up, Rodez doesn't wait around to allow a distraction though and instead uses Patrick as a way to pull himself to his feet, hobbling over to the ropes and propelling himself over the top rope with a pescado which wipes out all three of the Triple Threat!! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH Oh! I think they all landed on Dick! They could have squashed Dick flat! "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" "LE - ON!" Rodez gingerly comes back up and fires up the fans before turning back to the 6-Man Tag Champions. Unsure of who is Dick, who is Nick and who is Rick, Rodez simply takes the nearest Garner to him and tosses him back into the ring. Patrick naturally assumes it's Dick and allows the action to continue, as Rodez slowly makes a climb to the apron and then up to the top rope. Pulling himself up in the middle of the ring, Dick turns around in search of Leon. He turns the wrong way though and allows Rodez time to steady himself up top and soar off with a Ricky Steamboat esque Crossbody Block, landing atop Dick with the cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Rolling away, Rodez pulls himself up in the corner. By the time he's to his feet though Rodez is forced to stop as the other two Garners enter the ring and help Dick back to his feet. Patrick orders the offending Garners out of the ring and seems to have everything under control. Until, that is, the Garners line up beside each other and begin to jink in and out of each other, eventually coming to a stop in a completely different line-up! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE What is this, a New York street corner!?! Stop with the games damnit! This isn't 3 card monty, this is wrestling! CABOOSE What's the problem? You've seen enough Dicks in your time to know what they look like Mikey, you go up there and tell Patrick who's who. COLE Don't you start! Rodez moves forward looking to attack but Patrick stops him because he's confused as to which Garner is which...but that allows one of the Garners, presumably Dick, to spring from the pack and charge at Rodez. However, he doesn't reckon on being backbody dropped by The Silky Smooth One! Seeing his brother in trouble, Rick now charges forward, but Rodez nails him with a right hand. And to complete the set, Nick runs into a back elbow that lands under the jaw and snaps the neck back, dropping Nick to the mat. All three Triple Threat members pull themselves up and Rodez boots the middle Garner in the gut before grabbing the other two Garners from the side and ramming the heads together with a TRIPLE Noggin Knocker~! Two of the Garners go down and those people with video footage can argue otherwise, but that leaves Dick in the ring with Rodez. CABOOSE Well, I'm lost. COLE Ditto. Groggy, Dick wobbles around on the spot and as a result he is wide open for a Jab! A jab! A jab! A jab! A jab! Leon turns to the fans and blows the kiss... COACH Dick looks a little flacid right about now... COLE Stop that! ...and Rodez LANDS the enziguriI! MAMA SAID KNOCK YOU OUT! Down goes Dick, bouncing off the canvas and rolling face-up as Rodez bounces off the ropes. Rodez's initial plan seems to be an elbowdrop, but for some reason he fakes out and goes back to the ropes. Much more leisurely this time, Rodez jigs back, shuffles the shoulders, brushes some dirt off and drops the fist right to the forehead! "YYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" CABOOSE HEY! COLE The 5 Knuckle Shuffle! And we all know who uses that move... CABOOSE Yeah, Tha Puerto Rican! I told you he was just a Puerto Rican wannabee, he stole that move from him! COLE Technically, PRL stole it from John Cena. CABOOSE Yeah well, nobody cares about that no talent hack, people will not stand for this disrespect of Tha Puerto Rican! Rodez pushes straight back up and now the pain in his ribs is at the back of his mind as he limps across the ring, crouching down and waiting for Dick to pull himself back up. Slowly the 6-man tag specialist does so and stumbles around looking for his opponent. As he finds said opponent, Dick desperately charges and looks to take Rodez's head off with a big clothesline. Rodez is well prepared however, ducking his head and catching Dick under the arm, hoisting him up and planting him with a Rock Bottom! Straight back up comes Rodez and now, it's time for the coup de grais as Leon kicks Dick's arm over his chest, pulls off his elbowpad and throws it into the crowd. The crowd go wild as Rodez does some weird hand gestures before hitting the ropes. There's the vault over, there's the rebound, Corporate Eyebrow...and The People's Elbow!! Dick quivers on the mat as Rodez pops back up and bows for the fans! CABOOSE DAMNIT MAKE IT STOP! COLE Hey, it's PRL Appreciation Night, maybe Leon's just showing his appreciation. CABOOSE The HELL he is! He's making a mockery out of Tha Puerto Rican! Not done yet, Rodez now drags Dick towards the corner and exits to the apron. Nick or Rick quickly jumps to the apron, but his wild charge at Rodez is evaded and he ends up running himself into the ringpost and toppling back to ringside! That allows Rodez to scale the turnbuckles and give the signal, before tumbling off with the 450 Splash to Dick, the cover not far behind... 1... 2... 3!!!! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" *DINGDINGDING!* The crowd erupt for Rodez as he cooly acknowledges his victory with a smile and a wink to two screaming blondes in the 3rd row. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner... "SILKY SMOOTH"... LEON RRRROOOODDEEEEEZZZZZZZ!! "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Rodez rolls from the ring and pats one of the fallen Garners on his closely shaven head on his way back up the ramp, a slight limp still in his stride as he leaves. The fans continue to celebrate and Rodez gives them a last departing wave before he disappears back through the entrance doors, not hanging around now that his job is done. COLE Well I guess Leon has somewhere important to be. But consider the message sent, Caboose. Leon Rodez is going to AngleMania and he's got his sights set on Tha Puerto Rican and the 24/7 Championship! CABOOSE Well beating some 6-Man Tag wrestler out of his comfort zone isn't going to impress anyone, especially not Tha Puerto Rican. COLE What about the Rock Bottom, that was pretty impressive. CABOOSE It's not the Rock Bottom! It's the Latin Slam and it was a pale comparison compared to Tha Puerto Rican! Leon Rodez is a pale comparison! And the world is gonna find that out at AngleMania when Tha Puerto Rican climbs the Corporate Ladder and retains his 24/7 Championship. Beating Dick Garner is one thing. Beating PRL with the 24/7 Championship is a feat that no-one has accomplished. No-one! COLE And that may just change in 10 days time! CABOOSE Bah, you're just a mindless shill. COLE :O

COLE Last week, stuff happened. Let's take a look! [QUOTE] The audience's good feelings are short lived, and bad vibrations quickly settle in due to Christian Wright reentering the ring. Taking umbrage both to the way the Boiz won this match and their actions from last week, Wright gets in the face of a celebrating Melvin. The two engage in a heated debate, screaming over the noise of the rowdy fans. Not surprisingly Wright manages to claim victory in this little argument. But not through his vast intellect. Rather he scores a win from a devious sucker punch. Melvin recoils for a second, then springs back with a punch of his own. Now their verbal spat has turned into outright physical warfare! But Melvin is soon overwhelmed when Bohemoth inserts himself into the fracas. Irate over the underhanded low blow, The Upstart's heavy hitter punishes his victim with a devastating spine buster! MELODY What the hell? Leave my brother alone! The spectators are livid, and understandably so! Marvin makes a valiant effort to rescue his sibling, actually managing to tackle Wright with a spear! As the fans root him on, he rains punch after punch on Wright's face. The only thing the moral highground can do to defend himself, is cover up until Bohemoth yanks the energetic Sk8r off him. Taking a clump of Marv's hair, Bo readies to unleash his second Erotic Awakening of the night. But a gargantuan pop erupts from the stands as the fans spot Chicks Over Dicks, lacrosse sticks in tow (and a bottle of Jack Daniels in Kris' hand), darting down the ramp! COLE Here comes Alix and Krista! COACH Look at them bounce! I mean look at them run! Choosing to avoid a conflict with weapon swinging madwomen, Bo and Christian duck out of the ring with their good health intact. They slowly back up the ramp way, trading ice cold stares with their rampageous archrivals. “C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!” bleat the fans. Krista and Alix check on the injured twins, as Melody joins them in the ring. After making certain the Boiz are okay, the girls grab microphones. [/QUOTE] COLE But that weren't all oh no! [QUOTE] KRISTA Fine. Okay. Enough of the jokes, enough of the begging. Let me put down Ol Number 7 and let me get serious with you kids. Alix was being sweet, but now Krista's taken over and now the mood's all changed. After what happened last week, I now know that you two are excremental excuses for human beings who's skin would be better used as an overcoat to keep those who actually deserve to live warm during the winter. Understand this, we're gonna find you, we're gonna getcha. We're gonna come to whatever section 8 housing project you sorry asses waste oxygen in and we're gonna drag your rotten carcasses out into the street in the middle of the night and we're gonna tear into you like two dogs caged. And you might not like it if we have to pay you a visit. You might get your door kicked in. You might get your kid napped. You might get your legs broke. You might get your neck snapped. You might get your skull cracked. And you might take your last ride in an ambulance, and you might not make it to see the other side of thirty. With that warning on their minds, Wright and Bo make their retreat, as COD's music plays over the thunderous roar of the crowd. The Sk8rs and Melody converse with the girls, while the other participants in that less then stellar four way match clear out. [/QUOTE] COLE Krista Isadora Duncan laid down a verbal bitch-slapping on your boys last week Coach, if you don't mind me saying. COACH You know, actually, I do mind you saying that because it ain't true. Sure, Krista said some cute stuff and I'm sure she was up all night writing that cute little speech of hers, but it don't matter none. She's just a moderately intelligent woman with an online dictionary in her Favourites folder. Big whoop! When Christian Wright wants to own lil' Ms. Krista orally, he will. CABOOSE ... COACH So to speak. COLE Indeed. Well, Christian Wright sure wasn't saying a whole lot last week. Chicks Over Dicks issued a very firm and very clear challenge to Wright and Bohemoth, but if they did accept, we couldn't hear it over the sound of them running for the hills. So let me ask you this Coach...why didn't Christian and Bohemoth accept the challenge? Don't tell me they're running scared of the former Tag Team Champions. COACH Scared? Of COD? Bitch, please! Like I say, Krista might talk the talk, but if you think CDub and Bo are afraid of two girls just because they talk tough, you're very much mistaken. CABOOSE We'll see in a minute, won't we. Looking around nervously, Coach seems confused...more than usual. COACH Heh...heh, wait a second...what does that mean? COLE You didn't get the memo? COACH Wha...what memo? CABOOSE The one about Chicks Over Dicks calling your bestest buddies out, right about now. COACH No, I didn't... CABOOSE So you don't know that you're going up there right now to conduct the interview with them either? COACH Now hold up...we weren't informed about this! Nobody told the Coach about this! As Coach goes into panic mode and begs to be spared both the potential danger and assured humiliation of having to interview the Chicks Over Dicks, said chicks over said appendages arrive through the entrance doors to a thunderous ovation! Insert flowery Patty style imagery here, as Krista leads the way for Alix, who for no particular reason skips down the ramp, throwing flower petals from a basket out to the fans. The fans would much rather have money or maybe some Stridex pads thrown at them, but whatever. Krista is in no mood for playing around, although then again when is she, striding down the aisle and into the ring and calling for a microphone. Alix begins to do a lap of the ring meanwhile, realising she's run out of petals halfway around and simply throwing out waves and smiles to all! CABOOSE Don't just sit there Coach, you've got two hot women waiting for you here. That doesn't happen to you every decade, make the most of it! COACH I...I dunno. CABOOSE No, no, go ahead. You've earnt it. Krista waits patiently for Alix, who isn't related to Krista remember (have to keep reminding myself, see, coz I'm slow and...stuff), to finally give her empty basket to a simple looking gent in the second row wearing a homemade Biff Atlas t-shirt and an oversized afro wig before she slides into the ring. With COD in the ring, all that remains is for our host with the most. Finally finding some courage deep down inside, Coach throws down his headset and storms up the ringsteps. CABOOSE Oh, he's dead. COLE Mmm hmm. Entering the ring, Coach contemplates snatching the microphone from Krista, but thinks better of it and grabs his own. COACH Alright ladies, you wanted me to conduct this interview... KRISTA No. We asked for someone competent. COACH Good one. A'ight, let's cut right to the chase, shall we. You can't seriously be doing what I've been told you're doing. We all know that you two are a few lines of cocaine short of a supermodel, but you're surely not stupid enough to be calling out Christian Wright and Bohemoth, are you? "KICK HIM IN THE NUTS, KRISTA!" shouts one over-zealous fan. KRISTA First of all, that was the worst metaphor I've ever heard in my entire long and varied life. So congratulations. Nice attempt to tie in with the subject however. Secondly, Alix is certainly that stupid. That's an universal answer Johnathon, so bear it in mind. Because the next time you think about asking if she's really that stupid, she is. Sticking forks into plug sockets, drinking bleach, dating Leon Rodez, paying money to see the new Pink Panther movie. Did Alix go to see James Blunt in concert? You betcha. Did she get sucked into phoning up and wasting money voting on Dancing With The Stars? Damn skippy. She is that stupid. However, if you think that challenging Christian Wright and Bohemoth to a match or even to walk down and join us in this ring is stupid, then you clearly don't pay a whole lot of attention to this little thing we like to call a wrestling show, despite the fact of course that we're out here talking for the bazzillionth show in a row instead of wrasslin'. COACH Hey, I pay plenty of attention! And obviously, I pay more to this situation than you two do. Newsflash girls...you two combined barely weigh the same as Bohemoth. He's a trained bodyguard. Christian is the 2005 Rookie Of The Year! KRISTA Oh, I'm sorry, is that little tagline supposed to impress me. Silly me. Here was me thinking that Rookie Of The Year went to wrestlers who are okay and might be good in the future, but aren't the finished article. I must have missed the memo where Rookie Of The Years can match up to me. Maybe times have changed. Maybe ol' Krista's a little set in her ways. Let me tell you a short little story Johnny boy. Lounge yourself up against those ring ropes if you like, I might take a while with this, because we're going back in time. Figuratively you understand. Unfortunately, Alix's home-made time machine didn't do much more than produce ridiculously burnt toast and a number of mild electric shocks which probably didn't do her brainwaves any favours. Let me take you back to junior school Johnathon. Now, for you, the biggest worry you had was probably avoiding the inevitable wedgies and swirleys that came with being Johnathon Coachman. Girls are a different breed, see. We're very image conscious. Not the fat ones, obviously. No offense to any of you in the audience, as I know those COD XXXL t-shirts are still selling like hotcakes and Lard knows I need fatties if my fitness guru status is going to stay intact. But the rest of us are very image conscious. Back in the 5th Grade, these juicy mammaries that you keep staring at weren't quite as full and vuluptious. It's evolution, see. Full of change that only I and that creepy guy that lived at number 24 and had the telescope in his living room saw. I still remember my first training bra Johnny and I remember being so jealous of little Kimmy Simpkins because she didn't have to use as much padding as I did. You could have stuffed cushions with the contents of mine, you could. I couldn't have been more flammable if I was wearing the entire contents of Jim Cornette's wardrobe. COACH Is there a point to this story? KRISTA There certainly is, Johnno! Every night, I'd look in the mirror and I'd curse that blasted Kimmy Simpkins and her quick acting puberty. I hated Kimmy Simpkins. I felt inferior to Kimmy Simpkins. And then one day...BAM, she walked in front of a tram. So, you see, having the fullest training bra doesn't mean a thing really. Who's getting the love now, me or Kimmy Simpkins, god rest her soul. Being Rookie Of The Year is like filling up your training bra Jo'. Doesn't guarantee you success. And although Christian and Bohemoth are certainly two rather large boobs, if you catch my drift, that doesn't mean they're any match for two well developed women like myself and Alix. The fans, slightly creeped out by that particular story, applaud Krista sheepishly. COACH KRISTA Whadda you think Coach? COACH You wanna know what I think? I think you're nothing but a couple of attention whores!! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" CABOOSE Ooh, this is gonna be GOOD! COACH When you came back to the OAOAST, you could have joined up with Malibu and his crew, you could have even joined up with The Upstarts. You could be with us. So, you chose neither. So you could have went without incident and got on with things. But, NO. You come out and you badmouth EVERYONE because you wanted attention. Lemme take you back to Climax. You versus mah boiz, The Global Party Exchange. They kicked you from pillar to post. They used you Alix like a punching bag. And a kicking back. And an experimental neck surgery bag. And you came out and you cried and bawled your little eyes out about how horrible it was and how we should feel sorry for poor wickle Alix. You shoulda learnt your lesson by now, girls! But I get the feeling that you wanna face Bo and Christian, you want to get beaten down, you want the sympathy vote from this group of idiots because you want attention. If you thought what Johnny and Scotty did was something, you keep goading The Moral Highground and you'll find out what pain and suffering really is! Having vented, Coach comes to a heavily-breathing stop...and is shocked to see Alix and Krista exchanging looks that seem to show they're impressed. ALIX Wow...Terry Taylor never talks to us like that. KRISTA Maybe he values his testicles more than Johnny-boy here. ALIX I can see why. KRISTA You know, that was a fantastic little straight out of drama school, the world doesn't love me so I have to talk real loud to get noticed, theatrical outburst and that's your T.V time for the month taken care of Coachy, but we're getting off track here. Let Cap'n Krista take hold of the wheel and steer us back on course. ALIX Should you be driving? I mean, you're awful drunk. KRISTA When has that made a difference? ALIX True dat. KRISTA Look, we're losing sight of what we're here for. We're here to call somebody out. So let's do this, because we've got something we wanna do. We've got a challenge, all we need is a challenger...so, COME ON DOOOOWWWN! ... Much to the confusion of the crowd, rather than any rock stylings, the P.A system begins hipping and hopping to the rather vulgar beats of Cassidy's "I'm A Hustla". Krista stands with hands on hips, staring up at the ramp, Alix grooving besides her, as not Christian Wright nor Bohemoth but JAMIE O'HARA makes his way out through those entrance doors of doom! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE This is...unexpected. CABOOSE You're telling me. Why haven't they torn Coach apart yet? Jamie jawjacks his way down the ramp, throwing his gangsta gestures to all as he makes his way to ringside. Looking a lot more confident again now, Coach smiles away to himself, as O'Hara vaults to the apron and springboards over the top, doing the splits in mid-air to clear the ropes and still landing on his feet. Coach applauds O'Hara, as he takes the mic from him. KRISTA I'm sorry young man, but I think you're a little confused. This isn't the Wade Robson Project, 'homie'. So I suggest you and whoever you've got hiding in those oversized clown pants turn yourself right around and go get Shakespeare and Schwarzenegger. O'HARA Yo bitch, step off! "OOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" O'HARA Look at'chu, out here runnin' yo' mouth an' callin' out CDub and Big Bo. You must be crackers, cracka! You don't wanna throw down with the big boys. You don't wanna be startin' shit with mah boy Coach, he'll crush you like a roach, understands? ALIX First of all, cockroaches are actually one of the most resilient creatures on the planet, so your suggestion that Johnathon would crush us in the same manner he would they would suggest he would tread on us and we would keep running around, so he would then grab a heavy impliment from his kitchen and try to bash our brains in but again fail to kill us, so he'd then have to call the exterminators, which would take at least a day or two for them to come out and deal with his problem. And secondly...yo, homie, your shit is whack! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" ALIX You don't step to Ron. But he's not here, so I dunno why I said that really, except as set-up. You don't step to K.I.D. And you don't step to Al. Yo dawg, you wanna throw your lines. This is straight ballin' 101, playa! We're straight up gangstas, so you best chill tha hell down my jigga! You don't want non'a dis laffy taffy! This is serious motherfucking e-wrestling! We make big boy noise, we carry big boy toys. YEAH-YUH! Yo, it don't matter none, son. Gettin' all up in our grills...you best be easy, brudda. You musta messed up that pretty lil' dome of yours getting your punk ass whooped by Tha Parka for the past 4 months. WHASSUP!?! "WHASSUP!" ALIX WHASSUP!?! "WHASSUP!" ALIX You're not answering my question people. Repeating my question isn't an answer. Listen, consider and respond. Survey says, WHASSUP!?! "........" ALIX Oh, nevermind. COACH You know, this is getting us nowhere. I know you two and I know how you do things. You come out here and ramble on and on and on trying to make yourselves look good and eventually, ten minutes later, you get to the point. Let's cut to the chase here. See, you talk tough before...but now, you're not intimidating the Coach. I've got mah boy out here now! I've got the greatest junior heavyweight in the world. I've got The Birmingham Bad Boy, the straight up hustla, the big J-OH! Girls, look at this situation would ya. The odds aren't in your favour anymore. Before it was one commentator the 'mighty' Chicks Over Dicks. But now...haha...now, there's two of you... Coach smiles, looking down at his crotch. COACH ...and FOUR of us! HAHA! ALIX Woah! You mean, you both have superfluous second penises? What are the chances, eh Krista? KRISTA I think they were referring to balls, actually, my misguided friend. Forgive me for indulging myself in Ebonics 101 for a moment, but Jamie, you claim to be a hustla? Well hustla, I think you're bluffing. We all know why you're here. It's so blatant I could have wrote this script myself simply from my memory of professional wrestling plot devices. If it were possible to get a degree in it and possible to take the test while under the influence of alcohol, I'd have passed that badboy like Lindsay Lohan passes up seconds! We come out and call out the bad guys, but lo and behold, we don't get them! Out comes the hired help. Jamie O'Hara, playing decoy. You attempt to jumble up our frustrations and make us attack you, which I'll admit is mighty tempting currently, and then, Christian Wright and Bohemoth spring out through the crowd like two legged gazels and poor little nice girls, Krista and Alix, get beaten down by the dastardly Upstarts. Well forgive me for being awkward my young friend, but Chicks Over Dicks are nothing if not unorthodox. We don't go by the script. We don't play by the book. We don't imitate, we innovate. So, seeing as you two are evidently proud of your testosterone levels, how about you go back and lend your buddies some of it because we're getting a teensy wincey bit tired of waiting around here having to deal with the C-Team, when what we're waiting for is the B-Team. O'HARA The big J-OH don't give a crap how you Chicks Over Dicks do. You gon' find out how SuperJay do, real quick. You gon' be Chicks Under Our Dicks, b'ldat! Krista wipes a wry smile from her face. KRISTA According to your new little theme song, you're a hustla, you're a you're a hustla. Well, the last Hustler who tried something with us ended up with a hefty child support and considerable pain. You're going to experience one of those Jamie, very soon. I'll give you three guesses as to which one, but the first two are like The Global Party Exchange in a math class, they don't count. And, incase you need a clue... *NUTSHOT!* Krista backhands O'Hara in the junk and The Birmingham Bad Boy goes down into a fetal position, leaving Coach to back into the corner and beg for his pitiful life! CABOOSE Yesyesyes! COLE I'm so glad my mom is TiVoing this! Coach continues to beg, as Krista looks around the arena, anticipating the expected Wright/Bohemoth run-in. As yet there's no sign of either former HI-YAH Heavyweight Champion but Krista has her suspicions and is determined not to let her guard down, simply for the sake of beating up a weakling announcer. Trouble is, her lookout means she misses a recovered O'Hara pitching Alix out of the ring! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The howls of the fans alert Krista that something's up and around she turns, turning straight into the tumbling O'Hara, as he lands a spin wheel kick to the chest! Krista goes down and promptly Coach stands tall over her, putting on the badmouth. On the outside meanwhile, Alix has HAD IT! Pulling up the ring skirt, Alix goes weapon hunting...but what she finds under the ring apparantly shocks her for some reason as she promptly pulls the ring skirt back down and scuttles back up to the ring apron. Coach spots Alix's chocolate locks first and frantically tells O'Hara to turn around. By the time he reactes though, it's too late, as Alix springs to the top and wipes out The Birmingham Bad Boy with a Springboard Lariat. Coach goes back to begging off, while Alix helps Krista up and informs her that there's something up, under the ring. CABOOSE I'm not sure what's going on here, but Coach is still breathing so as far as I'm concerned, it's not good. Quickly formulating a plan, Krista instructs Alix to go under the ring and Alix, either brave or stupid obliges. Krista also leaves the ring and cautiously reaches for a weapon, pulling out a handy cookie sheet. Hey, why WOULDN'T there be one under the ring? Alix is under the ring now and seconds pass without incident...until suddenly, the womanly yelp of Ms Spezia can be heard from under the ring. The mat begins to shake, as Krista waits, cookie sheet in hand. The ring skirt ripples and Alix scurries out from under the ring like a mouse and hides behind the ring steps. A couple of seconds later, again the ring skirt ripples. And this time, a much less womanly form emerges from the depths of proverbial hell. Bohemoth! COLE Uh-oh...I think The Upstarts have been rumbled!! Bohemoth was under the ring the whole time!! Scrambling to his feet, Bohemoth stops as he looks around for the elusive Alix. She's not in front of him. Not to the left. Not to the ri... *PANG!* Krista nails Bohemoth over the head with the cookie sheet and the hapless bigman collapses to the mats around the ring with his eyes crossed. "YYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE I think the plan backfired. CABOOSE I guess so. Gleefully Alix does a little jig over Bohemoth's fallen frame, but Krista quickly grabs her partner in sisterhood by the hand and drags her into the ring. Naturally, Krista assumes that Christian Wright can't be too far behind and she isn't about to play sitting duck. And besides, Coach hasn't been dealt with yet. Clubbing down O'Hara with a hard clothesline, Krista now turns to Coach and grabs the helpless announcer by the collar, dragging him to his feet and preparing to lower da boom... WRIGHT HALT! HALT! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Krista looks up as the profile of the 2005 Rookie Of The Year magically appears on the AngleTron. Looking very pleased with himself for some reason, Wright smiles into the camera, as Krista spares The Coach. WRIGHT Enough, Bo! The time is at hand. Was this sordid little display appeasing you, Ms. Isadora Duncan? Was humiliating a defenceless, innocent young journalist allowing you to exude your frustations towards me? Does viciously attacking said announcer and his closest compadré bring joy to your black, twisted hearts? Was it worth it, as you lie motionless in that ring, decimated at the hands of my monstrous Meterosexual Monster? How does poetic justice treat you now, you vi... KRISTA AHEM! AHEM...HEM! Hey, Christian, Krista here. Eyes widening to the size of saucers, Christian freaks out at the sound of Krista's voice. Christian looks around frantically for the course of the voice and eventually, a good way behind him, a handy stagehand calls him over and suggests he look at a handily placed T.V monitor. Wright does so and is shocked to see the camera at ringside fixed on Bohemoth's KOed body. KRISTA You know, this is kinda embarrassing because I know you were really getting into your stride there buddy, but I think you might have misinterpreted what just happened a tiny bit. I take it you weren't watching the monitors? A little presumtious, don't you think? Well, see, here's the thing. Your little plan kinda went boo-boo, thanks to Bo-Bo. See, we did beat up Feminem. Coach is okay, but I think he's in need of a costume change, if you catch my drift. A little more junk in the trunk than before. But, that whole 'we get distracted and then Bohemoth comes out and destroys us both from under the ring' thing didn't really work out for you I'm afraid. It started going wrong when he got smacked in the face with a cookie sheet and it's all been downhill from there I'm afraid, Christian. We're still standing... ALIX YEAH YEAH YEAH! KRISTA But, don't let that stop you hot stuff, keep those wagons rolling. What were you gonna say next, before you realised Big Bo done screwed up again? Was it something along the lines of now that we're 'beaten down' and 'left bloodied in the ring', you challenge our 'motionless carcasses' to a match at AngleMania, perhaps? Because if it wasn't, you might wanna consider doing a quick Cut, Copy, Paste and making those words your next, now that we've kinda screwed up your Plan A. Christian is caught in a mixture of fury and despair as he manages to hold back clearly tempting expletives. Taking some deep breaths, Christian calms himself down and turns back to the camera. WRIGHT Very well, Isadora Duncan. You continue to intice myself and my associate, hoping to acquire contractual obligations to compete with us, despite the potential risk to your physical well-being? Upon your peroxide filled heads be it! ALIX Uhm, I'm not actually blon... WRIGHT SILENCE! Enough of your infernal jabbering! You wish to challenge myself and Bohemoth to a contest, then we shall oblige you. We will not do so for your contentment, however, but FOR. YOUR. OWN. GOOD!! Finally, we shall put you Chicks Over Dicks out of your collective miseries. And we shall do it at the most grandious stage of them all, that being AngleMania V. You two foul, contemptable excuses for females will learn your final lesson at Trump Plaza Hotel and Casino and it shall be a painful, humiliating and above all a crushing one. And I wish to impart one last parting message upon you, for you to ponder during your awaitance of our meeting...your continual goading of myself and Bohemoth will not go unforgotten. You have tugged upon the lion's tail once too often. And you have bid good riddance to any lingering gender-related sympathies that I may have had, for I know now that there need be no remorse, for the ends shall justify the means! Point made, Wright storms off. Back in the ring, Krista smiles up at the now blank AngleTron and nods to herself in contentment, patting Alix on the back before they leave. Meanwhile, Bohemoth is still KOed on the floor, O'Hara beside him trying to bring the bigman back to his senses while Coach tries to give himself an external heart massage. COLE Well, how about that? Chicks Over Dicks just one-upped the Upstarts and now it will be Christian Wright and Bohemoth taking on The COD in 10 days time in Atlantic City, New Jersey! And that promises to be a most interesting encounter added to the already interesting card for next Sunday's uber-extravanganza, AngleMania V. CABOOSE Why is Coach still breathing? COLE Because you touch yourself at night. Next!

Nice to see that Chelsea's blatant diving doesn't stop at the foreign players anymore, thanks to young Wright-Phillips and his theatrics. Del Horno and Drogba would have been proud.

That would disqualify quite a few TNA wrestlers as well, since most of them only wrestle once or twice a week at the most. But most of them wrestle for combinations of ROH, CZW, IWA-MS, 1PW etc. They're not wrestling 200 a year, but still eons more than Shane McMahon is. Probably more in the 100-150 mark.

Well I'd be happy to take control of TTT if need be. They probably wouldn't see too much TV time, but they're not at the moment either. I was going to suggest putting them on O'Hara and The GPX if we need something done quick.

Annie in the SJL was pretty much wrote as an out and out lesbian who routed for the faces. She had a thing for Megan Skye in particular (and by in particular, I mean that's about all I can remember), but that probably doesn't help anyone. She seemed to be as much about annoying Ejiro and Judge as calling the matches, but I don't know what history if any she had with King. But she's a lesbian. That needs saying. Also, I know I no-showed last show and stuff, but it's ironic that the show you put Annie on, the character I sorta suggested as regular commentator, I'm unbooked. Or poetic. One of the two. Probably for the best actually, but I'll promo just to show I'm not completely unreliable.

Also, what about the 6-Man Tag Titles?

Nope. Probably end up buying the DVD, but I'm not interested in anything on the card aside from Benoit/JBL right now.

If you do do anything tournamenty, then I'd like Rodez to be involved. But, personally, I think we could get away with unifying the X-Division Title. We're losing another writer and it's not like Parka was ever over-run with challengers for the belt in the first place. If somebody's going to do with it and definately have challengers then great, but if not we're back at square one.

D*LUX debut. Stuff with PRL...EWC, PM me with what's supposed to be going down if you see this, just so I'm 100% clear. Also, in the absense of PO'G, interaction between COD and CW/Bo. EDIT: Leon Rodez vs. Dick Garner

As I said before, if it's gonna be Adam vs. Zack, count me out. Zack writes for the OAOAST. Adam does not. NYU has not for a while. As far as I'm concerned, I don't give a shit about anything else so that's my one and only, sole opinion on the matter and I'm sure that the likes of Patty, LPYC, Alf, EWC and such feel the same. Assuming you're planning on carrying on with this arguement, can someone demod me so I at least don't have the temptation to read any of it? Thanks in advance.

n/m, I figured out how you turn them off. Carry on, Ash. (it was Ash who used all the smilies, write? My fed history is pretty weak.)

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!! If we're gonna turn into Zack vs. Drek II or Zack vs. Adam, count me out guys. So write some Axel segments so people know how to use them. I had to ad-lib all my Axel/Leon segments and my segment with Axel and Bohemoth because there was virtually nothing to go on from two months of Axel as GM. I didn't even PM you for permission because I didn't know if you were active or not. How is SJ supposed to know how Axel as GM acts if I, the person who controlls 3/4 of The Upstarts and along with PK does ALL the work, don't know?

Muchos gracias, por favor.

Austin's run-in during Rock/Mankind was probably the biggest surprise pop. The Hart Foundation was one everyone expected and it was big, but the crowd suddenly going nuclear when the glass shattered is one of my favourite moments in wrestling, ever. HHH's return, Flair's return and Jericho's debut were pretty big too. As for ones that weren't mentioned, Goldberg winning the title from Hogan was big. How about Eddie at NWO? I remember that being pretty big.

STOP WITH THE SMILIES PLEASE!! I sent a promo, but apparantly it didn't get through or something. Whatever.

Also, I like Roderick just fine, but he's certainly not ROH Champion material. He was pretty much 'the 4th guy' in GenNext and he works best as a tag wrestler, specifically Jack Evans. I don't see any superstar potential in him, but I've no problem with how they're using him right now.

I saw a clip of him constantly twisting Mike Quackenbush's arm from TPI '04 (I think) and I became bored of Hero immediately. If you're basing your opinion of him on one clip of a glorified exhibition match, I suggest you watch some other matches of his. Hero/Quack from TPI wasn't really a good wrestling match so much as it was a live training session and it was build-up to the Hero/Quackenbush feud the next week. Hero's a great heel and so long as you like the European/Luchapean style, a perfectly good wrestler. Most people who complain about him don't like the European style or haven't seen him as a heel.

My stuff is late but in, not through laziness but because I really couldn't think of anything to write. Maybe I should come up with gimmicks before I debut new tag teams next time. I'll bear that in mind in the future. Maybe.